THE BOOK OF HER LIFE
SPIRITUAL TESTIMONIES
SOLILOQUIES
Translated by
KIERAN KAVANAUGH, O.C.D. OTILIO RODRIGUEZ, O.C.D.
THE COLLECTED WORKS OF SAINT TERESA OF AVILA
This is the Second Edition of Volume One
of THE COLLECTED WORKS OF ST.
TERESA OF AVILA, first woman doctor
of. the Church; iThe translators have
taken full advantage of all that recent
scholarship has contributed to a better
understanding of Teresa and her writings.
It includes her first major work, the Life,
and two of her smaller works, the Spiritual
Testimonies and the Soliloquies. Clear and
contemporary, this rendering captures
much of Teresa's spirit while remaining
faithful to her thought.
Alsa^ajLailafefe^rom %CS Publications
THE COLLECTED WORKS OF ST.
TERESA OF AVILA Volume Two
containing The Way ajf Perfection and
Interior Castle
v
THE COLLECTED WORKS OF ST.
TERESA OF 'AVILA, Volume Three
containing The Book of Her
Foundations; Minor Works, including
The Constitutions and Poetry
ICS PUBLICATIONS
Washington, D.C.
ISBN O-9600876-2-1
The Collected Works
St. Teresa of Avila
VOLUME ONE
The Collected Works
St. Teresa of Avila
VOLUME ONE
The Rook of Her Life
Spiritual Testimonies
Soliloquies
Translated by
Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D.
Otilio Rodriguez, O.C.D.
and
ICS Publications
Institute of Carmelite Studies
Washington, D.C.
Washington Province of Discalced Carmelites, Inc. 1976
Second Edition (Revised) 1987 by ICS Publications
ICS Publications
2131 Lincoln Road, N.E.
Washington, D.C. 20002
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data (Revised)
Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.
The collected works of St. Teresa of Avila.
Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
Contents: v. 1. The book of her life.
Spiritual testimonies. Soliloquies. — v. 2.
The way of perfection. Meditations on the song
of songs. The interior castle — v. 3. The book
of her foundations. Minor works.
1. Catholic Church — Collected works.
2. Theology — Collected works— 16th century.
BX890.T353 1976 248 75-31305
ISBN 0-9600876-2-1 (v. 1)
CONTENTS
The Book of Her Life
Introduction 15
Prologue 53
Chapter
1 Treats of how the Lord began to awaken this soul to vir-
tue in her childhood and of how helpful it is in this mat-
ter that parents also be virtuous 54
2 Treats of how she lost these virtues and of how impor-
tant it is in childhood to associate with virtuous people 56
3 Treats of how good companionship played a part in the
awakening once again of her good desires and how the
Lord began to give her some light on the mistake she had
been making 61
4 Tells how she was helped by the Lord to force herself to
take the habit and of the many illnesses His Majesty
began to send her 64
5 Continues to treat of her great illnesses, of the patience
the Lord gave her, and of how He draws good out of evil,
as is seen in something that happened to her in that place
where she went for a cure 70
6 Treats of how much she owes the Lord for having given
her conformity to His will in the midst of such severe
trials, and how she took the glorious St. Joseph for her
mediator and advocate, and of the great good he did for
her 76
7 Treats of the ways by which she lost the favors the Lord
had granted her and of how distracted a life she began
to live. Speaks of the harm that results when monasteries
of nuns are not strictly enclosed 82
8 Treats of the great good it did her not to turn from prayer
completely and thereby lose her soul, and of what an ex-
cellent means prayer is for winning back what is lost.
Urges all to this practice. Tells how it is so highly profit-
able and that even though one may abandon it again,
there is great value in giving some time to so great a good 94
9 Treats of the means by which the Lord began to awaken
her soul and give it light amid such thick darknesses and
5
i Contents
strengthen her virtues that she might not offend Him 100
10 Begins to tell about the favors the Lord granted her in
prayer, of how we ourselves can help, and how impor-
tant it is that we understand the graces the Lord gives
us. Asks the one to whom this is sent to keep secret what
she writes about from here on, for they commanded her
to speak so personally about the favors the Lord grants her 105
1 1 Tells of the reason for the failure to reach the perfect love
of God in a short time. Begins to explain through a com-
parison four degrees of prayer. Goes on to deal here with
the first degree. The doctrine is very beneficial for begin-
ners and for those who do not have consolations in prayer 1 10
12 Continues the discussion of this first stage. Tells how far
we can get, with the help of God. through our own ef-
forts, and about the harm that results when the spirit
desires to ascend to supernatural things before the Lord
grants them 1 1 9
13 Continues with this first stage and gives advice concern-
ing some temptations the devil at times causes The ad-
vice is very helpful 123
14 Begins to explain the second degree of prayer in which
the Lord now starts to give the soul a more special kind
of consolation. Explains how this experience is super-
natural. This matter is worth noting 133
15 Continues on the same subject and gives some advice
about how to act in this prayer of quiet. Discusses the
fact that many souls reach this prayer but few pass be-
yond. Knowledge of the things touched on here is very
necessary and beneficial 139
16 Treats of the third degree of prayer. Explains sublime
matters and what the soul that reaches this stage can do
and the effects produced by these great favors of the Lord.
This chapter lifts the soul up in the praises of God and
brings wonderful consolation to whoever reaches this stage 147
1 7 Continues the same subject, the explanation of this third
degree of prayer. Concludes the discussion of its effects.
Speaks of the harm caused by the imagination and
memory 152
18 Discusses the fourth degree of prayer. Begins to offer an
excellent explanation of the great dignity the Lord bestows
upon the soul in this state. Gives much encouragement
Contents
7
to those who engage in prayer that they might strive to
attain so high a stage since it can be reached on earth,
although not by merit but through God's goodness. This
should be read attentively, for the explanation is presented
in a very subtle way and there are many noteworthy
things 157
19 Continues on the same subject. Begins to explain the ef-
fects this degree of prayer produces in the soul Strongly
urges souls not to turn back. Speaks of the harm that
results from abandoning prayer. This chapter is very im-
portant and most consoling for the weak and for sinners 164
20 Discusses the difference between union and rapture. Ex-
plains the nature of rapture and tells something about the
good possessed by the soul that the Lord in His kindness
brings to this prayer of rapture. Tells of its effects. There
is much to marvel over 172
21 Continues and concludes the discussion of this last degree
of prayer . Tells about what the soul that experiences this
prayer feels upon returning to life in the world and about
the light the Lord gives it concerning the world's illusions.
It contains good doctrine 185
22 Treats of how safe a path it is for contemplatives not to
raise the spirit to high things unless the Lord raises it and
of how the humanity of Christ must be the means to the
most sublime contemplation. Tells about a mistaken
theory she once tried to follow. This chapter is very
beneficial 191
23 Returns to the account of her life, of how she began to
seek greater perfection, and by what means. For persons
trying to guide souls that practice prayer it is helpful to
know how these souls must proceed in the beginning.
How she profited from knowing about this 200
24 Continues on the same topic. Tells how her soul made
progress after she began to obey, how little it helped her
to resist God's favors, and how His Majesty began giv-
ing her more perfect ones 209
25 Discusses the nature of these locutions the Lord grants
to the soul without the use of the sense of hearing, some
of the delusions that can result from these locutions, and
how one can discern when they come from God. This
chapter is most helpful and gives much doctrine for those
5 Contents
who find themselves in this degree of prayer since the mat-
ter is explained very well 212
26 Continues on the same subject. Tells and explains about
things that happened to her, which both caused her to
lose the fear and confirmed that it was the good spirit
speaking to her 223
27 Treats of another way in which the Lord instructs the
soul, and without speaking to it, makes His will known
in a wonderful manner. Explains also a non-imaginative
vision and great favor the Lord granted her. This chapter
is very noteworthy 227
28 Deals with the great favors the Lord granted her and how
He appeared to her the first time. Explains what an im-
aginative vision is. Tells about the remarkable effects and
signs this vision leaves behind when it is from God. This
is a very instructive chapter and well worth noting 237
29 Continues the topic begun and tells of some great favors
the Lord granted her and of some things His Majesty told
her for her own assurance and so that she could answer
those who contradicted her 246
30 Returns to the account of her life and tells how the Lord
removed many of her trials by bringing to the city in
which she lived the saintly Friar Peter of Alcantara, of
the order of the glorious St. Francis. Discusses the great
temptations and interior trials she sometimes underwent 253
3 1 Deals with some exterior temptations and representations
of the devil and the torments he inflicted on her. Treats
also of some matters very beneficial for advising persons
who journey on the path of perfection 264
32 Discusses how the Lord desired to put her spirit in a place
in hell she had deserved because of her sins. Gives a brief
account of what was shown her there. Begins to deal with
the way in which the monastery of St. Joseph, where she
now is, was founded 276
33 Continues on the same subject, about the foundation
dedicated to the glorious St. Joseph. Tells how she was
ordered not to become involved with the project, of the
time she abandoned it, of some trials she had, and of how
the Lord consoled her 284
34 Discusses how at this time it was opportune for her to
leave the city. Tells about the reason and how her superior
Contents
9
ordered her to go to console a lady of the nobility who
was very distressed. Begins to deal with what happened
there and the great favor the Lord granted her in mak-
ing her the means by which He awakened a very emi-
nent person to serve Him wholeheartedly, and how after-
ward she had this person's support and favor. The chapter
is most important 293
35 Continues on the same subject: the foundation of this
house of our glorious father St. Joseph. Tells of the means
the Lord provided by which holy poverty would be ob-
served in it, the reason why she left the lady she was stay-
ing with and returned, and of some other things that hap-
pened to her 302
36 Continues the same subject. Tells how this monastery of
the glorious St. Joseph was finally founded and of the
strong opposition and persecution the nuns had to
undergo after taking the habit. Tells also of the great trials
and temptations she suffered and how the Lord brought
her out of them all victoriously to His own praise and
glory 309
37 Discusses the effects of a certain favor the Lord granted
her. Some very good doctrine accompanies this discus-
sion. Tells how one should strive for a greater degree of
glory, and esteem it highly, and that we shouldn't neglect
everlasting goods for any difficulty 323
38 Deals with some great favors the Lord granted her by
showing her certain heavenly secrets, and with other great
visions and revelations that His Majesty wanted her to
see. Tells of the effects they had on her and of the great
profit her soul derived from them 329
39 Continues on the same subject, telling of the great favors
the Lord granted her. Treats of how He promised to
answer her prayers for other persons. Tells of some re-
markable instances in which His Majesty granted her this
favor 342
40 Continues with the same subject, telling of the great favors
the Lord granted her. Good doctrine can be deduced from
some of these favors; for, in addition to obeying, her main
intention, as she said, has been to write about those favors
that will be of benefit to souls. With this chapter the writ-
ten account of her life comes to an end. May it be for
Contents
the glory of the Lord, amen 354
Epilogue 364
Spiritual Testimonies
Introduction 369
Testimony
1 Her spiritual state and manner of prayer 372
2 Detachment and other virtues flowing from God's favors 380
3 General account of her state of soul 382
4 Prophecy of her death 385
5 God's standards are different from the world's 386
6 Our Lord encourages her to make more foundations 386
7 A message to be given 387
8 Right intention and detachment 388
9 Public rapture 388
10 Surrender and joy in God 388
1 1 Take courage, the order of the Blessed Virgin will flourish 388
12 Transpiercing of the soul 389
13 An intellectual vision of the Blessed Trinity 391
14 Habitual experience of the indwelling Trinity 392
15 Enclosure and the will of God 393
16 Prayer for her brother Agustin de Ahumada 393
17 Desires for death 394
18 Prophecy about St. Joseph's at Avila 394
19 Penance and obedience 394
20 Intellectual vision of a soul in grace and in sin 394
21 Her vision of our Lady in the choir of the Incarnation 395
22 Eucharistic experience 396
23 Am I not your God 397
24 True humility — Put my counsels in writing 397
25 The nature of union 398
26 Do not renounce what awakens love 399
27 Spiritual improvement at the Incarnation 399
28 A favor on St. Mary Magdalene's feast 400
29 Infused knowledge of the Blessed Trinity 400
30 Her mission in Carmel 401
31 Spiritual Marriage 402
32 The way of suffering and love 403
33 A prophetic vision and victory for her Carmel 404
Contents
11
34 A spiritual token 404
35 The vow of obedience to Father Gratian 404
36 The vow of obedience to Father Gratian 405
37 Desire to live and serve the Lord 408
38 Locution about Father Gratian 408
39 Establishing a feast of our Lady 409
40 God's omnipresence 410
41 The constitutions and the Lord's law 410
42 Infused knowledge of the Trinity 410
43 Renewal of vows in our Lady's hands 411
44 Union with Christ in the Eucharist 411
45 The reform of the monastery of Paterna 411
46 An effect of the spiritual marriage 412
47 The value of good works 412
48 The Lord tells her to record His words 412
49 God's presence in the soul 413
50 Father Gratian's health 413
51 The indwelling of the Blessed Trinity 414
52 Deep secrets in Communion 414
53 Intellectual vision of the Lord's nearness 415
54 Vision of Father Gratian 416
55 The feast of the Presentation of our Lady in the temple 417
56 Infused understanding of a Magnificat verse 417
57 Revelation about the survival of her Carmel 417
58 Account of her spiritual life for the Inquisitor of Seville 418
59 The degrees of infused prayer 425
60 Changing confessors 433
61 Perfection and poor health 433
62 Self-love and the desire for penance 434
63 Forgiveness of sins 434
64 Counsels for the Discalced Fathers 434
65 The present state of her spiritual life 435
Soliloquies
Introduction 441
Soliloquy
1 Separation from God 443
2 Solitude and thirst for souls 444
3 Merciful Redeemer and just Judge 445
Contents
4 Recovering lost time 446
5 Loving complaints and petitions; Martha's complaint 447
6 Painful longing for God 448
7 Your delight is to be with the children of men 449
8 Cure the blindness caused by our evil deeds 450
9 You give living water to the thirsty 451
10 Raise up sinners from their death 452
1 1 The fear of endless torments 453
12 Those who withdraw from God are sick people 454
13 The souls of the blessed help us in our misery 456
14 The love and the wrath of God 457
15 The suffering of longing of God 458
16 The wounds of love 459
17 All my good is in pleasing You 461
Notes to the Life 467
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies 492
Notes to the Soliloquies 500
Index 504
The Book
of Her Life
THE BOOK OF HER LIFE
INTRODUCTION
Early Years
Spain, separated from the continent of Europe by the
Pyrenees, has a high central tableland both dividing the coun-
try within itself and stretching from the northern mountains to
the southern coast. Without a natural center and without easy
routes, this land was in the Middle Ages a disparate region, a
complex of different races, languages, and civilizations. But at
the end of the fifteenth century and the opening years of the six-
teenth, all the natural disadvantages were somehow overcome.
Spain, with ten per cent of its soil bare rock and only ten per
cent of it rich, became in the sixteenth century the greatest power
on earth; this previously remote peninsula was now ruler of the
largest empire the world had yet seen, and all but master of
Europe. During those exhilarating years of outward glory, Teresa
of Avila lived and witnessed ironically to another, inward glory,
to the sacred truth that becomes the rich possession of every gen-
uine mystic, that a person's greatest good is within and "won
by giving up everything" (ch. 20,27).
Born during the reign of the Catholic monarchs, Ferdinand
and Isabella, Teresa saw, under Charles V, Castile's high mo-
ment of prosperity. Under Philip II, she saw her king's strug-
gles against Protestant and Morisco rebels, against the
Netherlanders in the north and the Turks in the Mediterranean —
not to mention Philip's many other activities in Europe, Asia,
Africa, and the New World.
Teresa's grandfather, a Toledan merchant, a Jewish converso
(Christianized Jew), victim of the use of religion for the sake
15
16
St. Teresa of Avila
of political unity, had to accuse himself before the Inquisition
for judaizing and as a penance was compelled to wear in pro-
cession for seven Fridays the humiliating sanbenito. After his
reconciliation, out of necessity, he moved with his family to Avila
where he was able to continue in his profession as a cloth mer-
chant. One of his sons, Teresa's father Alonso, was about four-
teen when the family arrived in Avila. In 1505 Alonso married;
but two years later his wife died, leaving him two children. Alon-
so, after four years, married again, this time Dona Beatriz de
Ahumada, who on March 28, 1515, gave birth to a daughter
and future saint who received her grandmother's name — Teresa
de Ahumada. Dona Beatriz died at the age of thirty- three, leaving
behind from her marriage ten children.
Biographers have given posterity a detailed description of
Teresa de Ahumada. She was medium in height and tended to
be more plump than thin. Her unusual face could not be de-
scribed as either round or aquiline; the skin was white and the
cheeks flesh-colored. Her forehead was broad, her eyebrows
somewhat thick, their dark brown color having a reddish tinge.
Her eyes were black, lively, and round, not very large but well
placed and protruding a little. The nose was small; the mouth
medium in size and delicately shaped, and her chin was well
proportioned. The white teeth sparkled and were equal in size.
Three tiny moles, considered highly ornamental in those days,
added further grace to her appearance; one below the center of
the nose, the second over the left side of her mouth, the third
beneath the mouth on the same side. Her hair was a shining
black and gently curled.
In many ways an extravert, she was cheerful and friendly,
a happy conversationalist, whom people found pleasing to hear
as well as look at. Besides her talent as a writer, she was also
gifted in the use of the needle and in household tasks.
Her undaunted spirit first began to show signs of itself when
she was only seven and decided to set off with her brother
Rodrigo for the land of the Moors to have her head cut off for
Christ. With much the same ardor she enjoyed playing hermit
life with other children — praying, giving alms, and doing
penances. While she was growing up in this quiet atmosphere
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
17
of piety, the revolt of the Comuneros took place, shaking all Castile.
This was a movement of angry reaction to a long period in which
royal government had eroded many of the traditional powers
and prerogatives of the Castilian towns. During this period,
too — in 1525 to be precise — the Imperialist army, largely through
Spanish troops, won the greatest victory of the age at Pavia. Two
years later Charles V's armies broke from control and put Rome
to the most terrible sack it had ever endured.
It was at about the time of this latter incident that the piety
of the now adolescent Teresa began to grow cold. She became
over eager to read romantic tales of chivalry, began to cultivate
her feminine charms, and to plan a possible marriage. The ab-
sorption of her fantasy with chivalrous themes along with her
facility for writing stirred her at this time to try, together with
her brother, writing a book, of the kind she liked to read. In
the judgment of her early Jesuit biographer, Ribera, it contained
"much that could be said for it."
As time went on, after her mother's death in November 1528,
Teresa began to meet with opposition at home because of her
affection for her cousins, sons of her aunt Dona Elvira de Cepeda,
and her friendship with a frivolous, unidentified relative whose
influence was not of the kind that strengthened Teresa's piety.
Teresa was later to look back with much distaste upon this whole
period in which she lost the fervor of her early years. On the
watch for an excuse to free his daughter from the vain company
and enticements she was experiencing, Don Alonso found one,
in 1531, when his oldest daughter married. At the age of six-
teen Teresa was entrusted to the care of the Augustinian nuns
of Our Lady of Grace in Avila.
Since there was no public education system in Spain at the
time, Don Alonso's daughter probably learned how to read and
write at home. Nor could one compare what was offered to her
in the way of education at Our Lady of Grace to any modern
boarding school. The nuns did little more, we now conjecture,
than prepare the young girls for their future life in marriage,
teaching them the usual household tasks: cooking, sewing, em-
broidery, and other things of that sort. Undoubtedly the girls
also received some basic religious instructions. The gentle, friend-
18
St. Teresa of Avila
ly nun, Dona Maria Briceno, who had charge of the girls and
carefully watched over them, was a woman of deep prayer. As
things turned out she began to mean more to Teresa than all
former friends. Dona Maria loved to talk about prayer, and her
high spiritual ideals made Don Alonso's daughter begin to think
about a vocation to the religious life and feel more favorable to
the idea. But it seems the strain caused by the inner struggle
over the pros and cons of the life of a nun harmed Teresa's health
so that she had to leave the school.
When her health improved, she was brought to her sister's
house in Castellanos de la Canada, but with a stop along the
way for a visit with her uncle Don Pedro de Cepeda, who lived
as a hermit in Hortigosa. He introduced her to spiritual books,
which helped her in the struggles she was experiencing over her
vocation. The Letters of St. Jerome, finally, became the occa-
sion of her courage to make a definite decision. But then, unable
to bear the thought of separation, her father refused to give his
consent to her becoming a nun. On November 2, 1535, at the
age of twenty, she once again stole away from her father's house,
this time not to go off to the land of the Moors but to give her
life to God as a nun in the Carmelite monastery of the Incarna-
tion. Yet the action was not the result of so cold or indifferent
an attitude to her father's feelings as it may seem to have been.
She later was to write: "When I left my father's house I felt the
separation so keenly that the feeling will not be greater, I think,
when I die. For it seemed that every bone in my body was be-
ing sundered" (ch. 4, 1). Don Alonso, in fact, accepted it all with
resignation, gave her a dowry that was more than substantial,
and acquired for his daughter a private room of her own in the
monastery.
Life at the Incarnation
Recent studies have shown that at the time of Teresa's entry
the Incarnation numbered among eleven Carmelite monasteries
for nuns in Spain. Its canonical status lay midway between that
of the sanctimoniales , those with the obligation to choir office and
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
19
enclosure, and that of the beaterws, where the life resembled ter-
tiary life. The nuns were required to recite the Divine Office
but not to observe enclosure. They engaged in no outside forms
of service. Some two hundred persons, including servants and
nuns' relatives, were living together at the Incarnation in Teresa's
days there.
Contrary to common belief, religious life at the Incarnation
was austere. Days each week were set aside for fasting and
abstinence; silence was carefully maintained so as to encourage
the spirit of continual prayer. With many kinds of detailed,
minute rubrics, the Divine Office was celebrated in solemnity
and splendor. No time, however, was designated in the legisla-
tion for mental prayer — a deficiency not without its drawbacks
in what must have been a crowded monastery. Novices received
instructions about the Carmelite order, its eremitical origins,
its devotion to the Blessed Virgin and to the prophets Elijah and
Elisha. They were also trained in the practice of the intricate
ceremonies used in the chanting of the Divine Office.
Oddly enough and irrespective of the Carmelite rule's exhor-
tation to continual prayer, Teresa states that until reading
Osuna's Third Spiritual Alphabet, given to her later by her uncle,
she didn't know how to go about praying or being recollected.
The spiritual books she mentions were by Franciscan not
Carmelite authors, and she offers no clear indication of receiv-
ing instruction about mental prayer during her novitiate training.
Although Teresa's decision about her vocation had been costly,
once she was inside the monastery she threw herself into the life
with zest and found that it, in fact, delighted her. But shortly
after her profession, which took place two years later, her health
gave way once more. Authors can only speculate about the nature
of this illness. Teresa herself attributes it to the food and lifestyle
at the Incarnation. After the doctors admitted they could find
no cure for her sickness, her worried father decided to bring her
to Becedas for treatment by a quack, famous there for many
cures. The harsh, painful methods of cure, lasting three months,
only aggravated Teresa's poor condition; in fact they almost killed
her. She was brought back, a pitiful sight, to Avila, where she
remained an invalid and paralytic for three years — until, as she
20
St. Teresa of Avila
devoutly testifies, through the intercession of her glorious father
St. Joseph, she was able to walk again. But, probably as a con-
sequence, she suffered the rest of her life from miserable health,
a wide variety of illnesses. Antonio Aguiar, after his medical ex-
amination of Teresa when she was sixty-seven and nearing the
end of her life, claimed that it was impossible to find the focal
cause of her illnesses because her body had become a whole
arsenal of ailments.
Able to get about again, Teresa next experienced a protracted
period of great difficulty with prayer. She writes: "And very often,
for some years, I was more anxious that the hour I had deter-
mined to spend in prayer be over than I was to remain there . . .
and so unbearable was the sadness I felt on entering the oratory,
that I had to muster up all my courage" (ch. 8, 7). According
to Fr. Efren, her most recent biographer, her difficulties
amounted chiefly to a problem of technique. She didn't realize
that the mind, or imagination, and feelings can wander, as St.
John of the Cross points out, while the soul on a deeper level
many remain quiet in a hardly perceptible contemplation. These
difficulties with prayer went on for about eighteen years until
she experienced before a very devotional image of the wounded
Christ and again while reading from the Confessions of St. Augustine
some unusually strong and efficacious feelings of compunction.
On these two occasions of peak experience she learned to lose
completely any trust she had in herself and place it all in His
Majesty.
Compunction is a basic sentiment running through the en-
tire Life. To the undiscerning or inexperienced, Teresa's out-
pourings of compunction might seem like exaggerated guilt feel-
ings. But for Teresa, true sorrow does not disquiet, does not
agitate. Her compunction consoled her; permeated with humility,
it was a gift — quiet, gentle, and in the light (ch. 30, 9). The
Desert Fathers, in fact, constantly exhorted their disciples to pray
for the gift of compunction, the gift of tears. These Fathers felt
that when the soul was softened by this interior weeping, God
would give the experience of his light; in the shadow of sorrow
was to be found the spiritual joy of enlightenment. And so it
was with Teresa. In addition, her feelings of compunction later
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
21
became more intense through the mystical experience she had
of God's transcendent majesty, and of the shabbiness of sin beside
His boundless outpouring love. Spiritual humiliations preced-
ed her spiritual exaltations. "I don't recall His ever having granted
me one of the very notable favors of which I shall speak if not
at a time when I was brought to nothing at the sight of my
wretchedness" (ch. 22, 12).
Teresa began, then, at the time of this conversion, to ex-
perience passively and in a living way the presence of God in
the center of her soul. To qualify experiences in prayer that she
couldn't acquire through her own efforts but that were experi-
enced passively Teresa often used the term "supernatural." With
the onset of the supernatural another, new life began for her.
"This is another, new book from here on" (ch. 23, 1).
Unfamiliar, unusual experiences started to occur, and Teresa,
not yet enlightened about the stages of prayer, felt the surge of
a new fear. "His Majesty began to give me the prayer of quiet
very habitually — and often, of union — which lasted a long while.
Since at that time other women had fallen into serious illusions
and deceptions caused by the devil, I began to be afraid" (ch.
23, 2). The fear so increased that, she says, it made her diligently
seek spiritual persons for consultations, marking the beginning
of her struggles to explain her supernatural experiences. This
recourse to spiritual men, and learned ones as well, led ultimately
to the writing of her Life.
In the Context of Her Times
Readers nowadays can not readily grasp the reason for Teresa's
fears, and for those of her confessors, unless they have some no-
tion of the spiritual movements and problems existing in Spain
during the sixteenth century. Spain at that time was a world
in effervescence not only politically but also spiritually. A long-
ing for deep spirituality took hold among the people themselves
and pervaded their lives, having at its center three basic
characteristics: a call to the interior life; the practice of mental
prayer; and strong leanings toward higher levels of the mystical
life. Giving support to this spiritual rebirth was the Spanish
22
St. Teresa of Avila
Catholic reform initiated before the Council of Trent and cham-
pioned by the militantly fervent and energetic Cardinal Cisneros.
It coincided with the first half of Teresa's life. Prior to the work
of Teresa there were other highly influential reform movements,
those of St. John of Avila, St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Benedic-
tines, the Franciscans, and the Dominicans. Newly founded
printing presses offered to the people a large supply of literature
on prayer and the interior life: translations from the Fathers,
from the Italian, Flemish, and German schools, from Erasmus,
the scholastics, the Protestants, and the humanists. The cross-
fertilization of ideas chat resulted from contact among these
schools and movements was only to be expected.
Previously, medieval Spain had been the most tolerant land
in Europe, with Christian , Mohammedan, and Jew living ther e
side by side in peace and sometimes, in the closest friendship.
But such relations did not last; in a country devoid of political
unity a common faith was gradually seen to serve as a tool for
binding together Castilians, Aragonese, and Catalans. In the
constant interplay between politics and religion, the establish-
ment of an Inquisition throughout Spain was seen as a conven-
ient means to further the cause of Spanish unity, deepening the
sense of common national purpose.
Now since in the Netherlands Christianity had developed a
strong pietist strain, tending to stress mental prayer at the ex-
pense of forms and ceremonies, and in the Florence of Savonarola
it had acquired a visionary, apocalyptic character, having an
appeal to a number of Spanish Franciscans at that time in Ita-
ly, Spain was to find devotees for both these types of
Christianity — particularly among devout women, often referred
to as beatas, and among Franciscans of converso origin. It was only
in the early years of the sixteenth century, however, that these
types began to inspire any form of religious movement. For along
with a push for the reform of the ecclesial community and of
individuals, they gave rise to an illuminist movement which pro-
duced excellent as well as distorted forms of spirituality . Its
members were known as alumbrados .
The alumbrados linked up with the movement of Erasmus in
its stress on inwardness and its reaction against the misuse of
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
23
devotional practices and formalism. They later divided into
groups having common trends but distinguished by certain dif-
ferences. Those known as the recogidos attached highest impor-
tance to recollection. This term referred to the effort the soul
makes to withdraw from and forget everything* created so as to
allow itself to be penetrated by the divine action. The other
group, called the dejados, built its spirituality on the idea of
self-abandonment .
In the course of years an evolution took place that accentuated
the slightly divergent directions. The partisans of recollection
were very largely of the religious orders. Their efforts were
directed to building up a technique of the interior life and men-
tal prayer for the sake of helping souls along the path to total
nakedness of spirit and union with God. These partisans gradual-
ly became known as the "spiritual men," or "men of experience."
Since this recollection was practiced above all among the Fran-
ciscans, it was not surprising that a Franciscan friar, named
Osuna, should give the movement its definitive expression in
his Third Spiritual Alphabet.
The supporters of abandonment on the other hand insisted
more and more, sometimes imprudently, on the importance of
interior inspiration and passivity and opposed all exterior devo-
tion. This form was promoted particularly by the Franciscan,
Isabel de la Cruz and her disciple, a layman, Pedro de Alcaraz.
The heart of the spirituality by the aiumbrados is identical with
that of other illuminist movements. It brings into greater focus
the importance of mental prayer, contemplation, and the
manifestations of mystical phenomena. In this sense, Osuna,
Laredo, and Teresa herself can be considered among the aium-
brados. Where there was danger, it lay in exaggeration, in an
exclusivism with which these themes were proposed, and in the
practical consequences of such distortions. For example, through
mental prayer one acquits oneself of everything else — works of
penance, asceticism, and virtue. Furthermore, it was taught that
as a means of avoiding any detriment to abandonment, recollec-
tion, or quiet, one should abstain from interior acts and exterior
works, even from turning one's thoughts to Christ in His humani-
ty. All of this, it was claimed, as well as obedience, did harm
24
St. Teresa of Avila
to the union contracted with God through passivity and aban-
donment. Once united to God through passivity and abandon-
ment a person could not sin. As always this unqualified teaching
gave rise to some depraved moral consequences. For example,
in 1529 the Inquisition arrested a leading woman illuminist,
Francisca Hernandez. The circle this attractive woman gathered
around her in Valladolid consisted of alumbrados , some of whom,
it seems, freed from their qualms by such a theory, brought their
spiritual companionship with her down to the level of the
physical.
In addition, an unrestrained infatuation with ecstasy and other
extraordinary phenomena developed. These experiences were
thought of as something to be obtained at all costs. Among some
noted but deceptive visionaries of the time was the stigmatic,
Maria de Santo Domingo (1486-1524), known as the Beata of
Piedrahita. Her monastery became a center of spirituality and
high prayer; she herself wrote a book on prayer and contempla-
tion. But soon the Master General of the Dominicans had to
isolate her because of certain aberrations and prophetic revela-
tions. No one in the order, with the exception of her confessor,
was allowed to converse with her or administer the sacraments
to her; nor was anyone allowed to speak about her prophecies,
ecstasies, and raptures, except to the provincial.
Another visionary, Magdalena de la Cruz, a Poor Clare with
a reputation for holiness, severe fasts, and long vigils, also bearing
the stigmata, let it be known that she no longer required any
food except the consecrated Host in daily Communion. In an
investigation by the Inquisition she confessed to being a secret
devil worshiper. Inspired by two incubuses with whom she had
made a pact, she became very skillful at all sorts of legerdemain.
Through her success in fooling both bishops and kings, she
brought the fear of being deceived to all of Spain.
Turning its attention understandably to the activities of the
alumbrados , the Inquisition condemned, in 1525, forty-eight il-
luminist propositions. That same year a decree was promulgated
against the heresies of Luther, for the Inquisition suspected that
Lutheranism and Illuminism were closely connected in that both
movements emphasized internal religion at the expense of out-
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
25
ward ceremonial. Anyone suspected of illuminist practices was
quickly taken into custody, the net having been thrown wide
enough to ensnare even St. Ignatius of Loyola, who was forbid-
den to preach for three years. Followers of Erasmus as well fell
into disfavor.
The driving force behind the revolt of the Comuneros had been
hatred of the foreigner and of foreign ways and ideas. Although
the Comuneros were defeated, naturally enough the many ideas
that inspired them lived on, defended and upheld by the more
conservative members of the religious orders. If the friars who
ran the Inquisition bridled at alien briefs, they also acted under
the impulse of fear, a fear that in a land where heterodox views
abounded new heresies might easily take root. The result was
a tendency to generate a climate of mistrust and mutual suspi-
cion, one peculiarly propitious for the informer and the spy —
victims never being informed of their accusers, and accusers often
finding an ideal opportunity for the settlement of old scores.
Authors even of non-theological works tended just the same to
exercise a kind of self-censorship, if only to keep their writings
free of anything capable of misleading the ignorant and the
uneducated.
There is no reason to assume, on the other hand, that the In-
quisition was the sole source of constraint. Suspicion of those
who deviated from the common norm was deeply rooted in
sixteenth-century Spain, even though deviation was more nor-
mal there than elsewhere. People could be suspect because of
their race just as well as because of their faith. In addition to
all the concern about purity of faith there was an inordinate con-
cern about purity of blood.
Another prevalent fear in the society of Teresa's time was fear
of the devil. From the fourteenth century the attention of Chris-
tians turned more and more to the devil and his powers, and
fear of his forces and wiles loomed large. The measured terms
and prudent skepticism with which St. Thomas Aquinas in the
thirteenth century had dealt with the subject of diabolical temp-
tations and marvels had been too readily ignored. The idea
gradually grew more widespread that woman, the daughter of
Eve, could serve as Satan's intermediary in order the more easily
26
St. Teresa of Avila
to tempt man and draw him to evil. The diabolical powers that
astounded the masses made the Inquisitors feel that they were
at grips with supernatural powers.
If we keep all of this in mind, it is not difficult for us to under-
stand why the times were weighed down by distrust of mental
prayer, especially that practiced by women (nuns, beatas, or
"foolish women"), by suspicion of spiritual books that fostered
the practice, and by an open hostility toward mystical manifesta-
tions, symptoms of a certain morbid religiosity or of Illuminism.
It is not a wonder that there was skepticism and caution among
Teresa's directors over her unusual experiences. Nor a wonder
that Teresa herself, though she experienced certitude during the
actual moments when she received these favors, began to feel
doubts and fears that she might be a victim of diabolical decep-
tion. She herself testifies: "since at that time other women had
fallen into serious illusions and deceptions caused by the devil,
I began to be afraid. I experienced wonderful delight and
sweetness . . . and in addition I was aware of the greatest assurance
that this delight was from God, especially when I was in
prayer . . . But after a little distraction I began to fear and wonder
whether the devil, making me think the experience was good,
wanted me to suspend the intellect . . . this fear increased in such
a way that it made me diligently seek out spiritual persons to
consult" (ch. 23, 2). Some zealous individuals went so far as to
warn her confessor to be careful of her. "I feared that I would
have no one who would hear my confession, but that all would
run from me" (ch. 28, 14).
Teresa came to realize in the midst of these suspicions that
the safest course of action was to hide nothing from her con-
fessor, to lay open before him the whole state of her soul and
tell simply and humbly about the favors she received. She also
came to the conclusion that the confessor should be learned and
that she should obey. Not without some perplexity, she
discovered, in turn, that when she obeyed her confessor's direc-
tion to resist the favors, they only increased (ch. 29, 7). Through
her experience Teresa also acquired the ability to discern when
a passive experience was not the result of the workings of God's
grace. "I have so much experience now of when something is
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
27
from the devil that since he at present sees that I understand
him, he doesn't torment me in this way as often as he used to.
He is recognized clearly by the disturbance and disquiet with
which he begins, by the agitation the soul feels as long as his
work lasts, by the darkness and affliction he places in the soul,
and by dryness and the disinclination toward prayer or toward
any good work" (ch. 30, 9).
If people can be misled and deceived by desires for God's favors
in prayer, these favors in themselves are not to be disparaged,
being, as they were for Teresa, a source of fortitude and
strengthening in faith. The foretaste of heavenly things left her
with feelings of detachment she could hardly believe after hav-
ing had so much experience with her own futile efforts, and it
prepared her for her mission. "By these gifts, the Lord gives us
the fortitude that by our sins we are losing. If people don't have,
along with a living faith, some pledge of the love God has for
them, they will not desire to be despised and belittled by everyone
and have all the other great virtues that the perfect possess. For
our nature is so dead that we go after what we see in the pre-
sent. Thus these very favors are what awaken faith and strengthen
it" (ch. 10, 6).
Though Teresa feared greatly that she might by deceived by
her experiences, go astray, and lose her Lord, the Inquisition
was not the type of thing that could frighten her. When others
approached and cautioned her with such fears, she writes: "This
amused me and made me laugh . . . And I said they shouldn't
be afraid about these possible accusations; that it would be pretty
bad for my soul if there were something in it of the sort that
I should have to fear the Inquisition; that I thought if I did have
something to fear I'd go myself to seek out the Inquisitors" (ch.
33, 5). What was considered the most ignominious thing that
could happen to a person at that time, Teresa saw as a fortuitous
opportunity to submit her spirit totally to the judgment of the
Church. Any disgrace involved she did not look upon as a cause
for shrinking in terror but as a chance to grow in love for her
Lord. Though subsequently accused at different times before
the Inquisition, she was never found guilty.
In general it can be said that where there was exaggeration,
28
St. Teresa of Avila
Teresa in her time was a sign of contradiction; where there were
aspects of truth, she was a reconciler. Stressing throughout her
life the absolute necessity of prayer and the interior life, her path
was that of a devotee of Christ. She found it extremely difficult
to be open to any system of mysticism that would demand set-
ting aside the corporeal for the sake of mounting to the spiritual.
Devotion to Christ in His humanity was never for her an obstacle
to the most perfect contemplation. The obstacle for her was the
mistaken notion that all thought of Him must be set aside; to
do this, she stated, would impede "raptures and visions and other
favors God grants to souls" (ch. 22, 2). She believes that in try-
ing to rid themselves of any thought of the human Christ so as
to approach the Divinity many souls do not pass beyond the
prayer of union. Paintings and images of Christ, these simple
means, were greatly prized and devoutly venerated by Teresa,
devotion never being a roadblock for her. But when God desired
to suspend all the faculties in the higher degrees of prayer —
yes, then the presence of the humanity of Christ is taken away.
"Then let it be so — gladly; blessed be such a loss that enables
us to enjoy more that which it seems is lost" (ch. 22, 9). "When
one is in the midst of business matters, and in times of persecu-
tion and trials, when one can't maintain so much quietude, and
in other times of dryness, Christ is a very good friend because
we behold Him as man and see Him with weaknesses and
trials — and He is company for us" (ch. 22, 10). Her spirited
defence of friendship with and devotion to Him even in higher
stages of the mystical life did not spring from any special talent
she had for picturing things with her imagination. "For God didn't
give me talent for discursive thought or for a profitable use of
the imagination. In fact, my imagination is so dull that I never
succeeded even to think about and represent in my mind — as
hard as I tried — the humanity of the Lord" (ch. 4, 7). Frequently,
as a result, in speaking of meditation she has in mind a simple
quiet presence to Christ through one of His earthly mysteries.
"But one should not always weary oneself in seeking these reflec-
tions but just remain there in His presence with the intellect quiet.
And if we are able we should occupy ourselves in looking at Christ
who is looking at us" (ch. 13, 22).
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
29
News that the sacred images of Christ and His saints were
being destroyed in other parts of Christian Europe was a tor-
ment to her. Even a simple devotional object like holy water left
her with the imprint of its efficacy. "The power of holy water
must be great. For me there is a particular and very noticeable
consolation my soul experiences upon taking it. Without a doubt
my soul feels ordinarily a refreshment I wouldn't know how to
explain, like an interior delight that comforts it entirely. . .and
I rejoice to see the power of those words recited over the water
so that its difference from unblessed water becomes so great"
(ch. 31, 4). On the other hand, those devotions popular in her
day, especially among women, that were downright superstitious,
she confesses she never cared for (ch. 6, 6).
The first two persons Teresa consulted about her experiences
decided after examining her written testimony that her super-
natural experiences were from the devil. Told not to remain
alone, she seldom dared to stay in a room by herself during the
daytime. Once, while terrified that the devil would deceive her,
agitated and weary and not knowing what to do, she heard the
Lord speak to her. "I was given calm together with fortitude,
courage, security, quietude, and light so that in one moment
I saw my soul become another" (ch. 25, 18). The words of His
Majesty liberated her from the unnecessary and terrible fears
of the devil with which society had burdened her. As for devils,
she could then say with complete freedom: "I pay no more at-
tention to them than to flies" (ch. 25, 20). The key element of
her teaching about the devil, then, so psychologically and
spiritually sound, is the utter uselessness of all fears concerning
him. "I don't understand these fears, 'The devil! The devil!', when
we can say 'God! God!', and make the devil tremble" (ch. 25,
22). With disapproving words she concludes this little section:
"I fear those who have such great fear of the devil more than
I do the devil himself, for he can't do anything to me. Whereas
these others, especially if they are confessors, cause severe distur-
bance" (ch. 25, 22).
A deep division slowly developed in Spain between those per-
sons Teresa refers to as learned men (theologians or intellectuals)
and spiritual men (those with experience in prayer, who
30
St. Teresa of Avila
nowadays might be referred to as mystics or charismatics). The
men of learning often scorned quietism, distrusted prayer, and
spoke deprecatingly of the mystical life, especially when promoted
among women. They denounced to the Inquisition books deal-
ing with all such matters. On the other hand, the spiritual men
often looked down on theologians as professionals in the letter
of the law but lacking in the spirit; they grimaced at any men-
tion of the competence of these men in spiritual matters and
declared them to be inept in the business of guiding souls.
The intellectualist tendency, spearheaded by the schools of
Salamanca and by Dominican theologians, was definitively
assumed and imposed as the norm of the Inquisition. Two of
the more notorious among the theologians were the formidable
Dominican, Melchior Cano, and the Archbishop of Seville and
Supreme Inquisitor, Fernando Valdes. Cano taught that the
practice of mental prayer was a danger not only for the Church
but for the Christian republic as well. Rather incredibly for so
illustrious a theologian, he reasoned that since it is impossible
to devote oneself to both the active and the contemplative life,
colleges and universities would have to be suppressed, books
closed, and studies annihilated if all were to dedicate themselves
to prayer. As for the assertion that the practice of prayer serves
for the acquisition of virtue more than any other practice does,
he complained that it was ridiculous.
In 1559, Fernando Valdes published an index of forbidden
books among which were included almost all books dealing with
prayer; cherished spiritual books by the most renowned contem-
porary Spanish authors as well as translations from classic writers:
St. Francis Borgia, St. John of Avila, Luis of Granada, Osuna,
Tauler, Harphius, and Denis the Carthusian. Many of Teresa's
favorites.
The prohibition of Francis Borgia's Obras del Cristiano, it is in-
teresting paranthetically to note, is perhaps more easily explained
in view of the anti-Jesuit sentiments prevalent in the Spanish
Church in the sixteenth century. Never one to make facile con-
demnations, Teresa, despite what others thought, felt high esteem
for the Fathers of the Society, and she consulted Father Francis
personally, finding him to be a wonderful help because, as she
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
31
says, he was a man of experience, one who "was advancing in
the favors and gifts of God" (ch. 24, 3). In her judgment the
Jesuits were spiritual men, men of prayer and experience: "I see
that what happened was all for my greater good, that I might
get to know and deal with people as holy as are those of the Socie-
ty of Jesus" (ch. 23, 3,9,15).
Despite the Inquisition and Melchior Cano and the index,
this Carmelite nun had little doubt about the central place prayer
must take. She views prayer as the source of the good things
God worked in her. Turning away from prayer would be the
equivalent of shutting the door on God who longs to share His
life intimately with us. So her tribute to a spiritual and experi-
enced man like St. Peter of Alcantara is glowing. And she agrees
also with him that there are many more women than men to
whom God grants His favors (ch. 40, 8).
Experience in prayer and prudence, she taught, were the more
necessary qualifications in the spiritual direction of beginners.
"I say that if these learned men do not practice prayer their learn-
ing is of little help to beginners" (ch. 13, 16). On the other hand,
she cautioned that anyone experiencing favors, women especially,
should consult learned men. "Let not the spiritual person," she
wisely warns and reasons, "be misled by saying that learned men
without prayer are unsuitable for those who practice it. . . . For
though some don't have experience, they don't despise the Spirit
nor do they ignore it, because in Sacred Scripture, which they
study, they always find the truth of the good spirit" (ch. 13, 18).
Learning was of particular value, then, in the cases of those who
had begun to experience God's favors. The learned man could
discern if one were walking in conformity with the truths taught
in Scripture. But expertise in Scripture studies doesn't make up
for experience and humility; so there may be much that is baf-
fling to the learned man. He may prove somewhat obtuse in
puzzling over the infused loving experience that the psychologist
William James, exploring the varieties of religious experience,
apologetically but not without sarcasm refers to as an amatory
flirtation between the devotee and the deity. But Teresa's source
of wisdom was her Lord, and she has some motherly-sounding
advice for the learned man in his quandary: "As for the rest he
32
St. Teresa of Avila
shouldn't kill himself or think he understands what he doesn't . . .
Let him not be surprised . . . that the Lord makes a little old
woman wiser, perhaps, in this science than he is, even though
he is a very learned man" (ch. 34, 11, 12).
Teresa could not be content that men of learning be simply
men of learning. She suffered too keenly because she had no
one to consult who had experience of the spiritual path she was
being drawn along (ch. 28, 18). Deficient in experience, those
she consulted frequently disturbed and afflicted her (ch. 40, 8).
It was Friar Peter of Alcantara, austere and saintly, who ultimate-
ly understood her and, through his own experience, was able
to explain things, comfort, and encourage her.
With her ideal that men of learning be also men of experience,
or spiritual men, Teresa managed to win the illustrious
Dominican theologians Garcia de Toledo and Pedro Ibafiez to
the path of prayer. Through her charming influence, dedicating
themselves earnestly to this newly discovered way, they soon
themselves began to experience God's favors. Contrary to the
prosaic teaching of some scholars of the time that many years
of arduous asceticism were required before there could be any
passivity in the spiritual life, the Lord, Teresa taught, follows
no fixed time schedules. Often "the contemplation the Lord
doesn't give to one in twenty years He gives to another in one"
(ch. 34, 11). Instances of this fact she observed, too, in the young
Sisters entering the newly established monastery of St. Joseph
(ch. 39, 10). Of Pedro Ibafiez, "the most learned man" in Avila,
she writes: "I told him then as clearly as I could about all the
visions and my manner of prayer and the great favors the Lord
granted me. I begged him to consider my prayer very carefully
and tell me if there was something opposed to Sacred Scripture
and what he felt about it all. . . . For although he was very good,
from then on he dedicated himself much more to prayer and
withdrew to a monastery of his order where there was much
solitude so that he could practice prayer better" (ch. 33, 5). When
she saw him again and heard of his happiness for having done
what intensified his life of prayer, she was the recipient of some
of its benefits: "And I, too, was able to agree because previous-
ly he assured me and consoled me only by his learning, but now
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
33
he did so also through his spiritual experiences" (ch. 33, 6). In
chapter thirty-four she tells of how, when she considered the strik-
ing talents and gifts of Garcia de Toledo, she felt an uncon-
trollable longing that he give himself entirely to God and of how
this prayer was answered and God began to favor him.
Worth recalling is that in the Spain of that time the faithful
were unable to read Scripture, unless, of course, they had
knowledge of Latin, since no vernacular edition was permitted.
Teresa had to turn to other spiritual books, which usually
abounded with quotations from Scripture. When many spiritual
books were placed on Valdes's Index, she was beside herself,
wondering what to do. In the midst of her consternation she
received a locution from the Lord telling her not to be sad but
that He would become for her a living book. Subsequently she
began to receive mystical understanding of many truths His Ma-
jesty wanted to teach her and, as a result, felt little or almost
no need for books (ch. 26, 5). Because of her consequent lack
of spiritual books dealing with prayer, she later wrote her own
books to explain and give instructions to her new followers about
the path to union with God.
Her First Spiritual Directors
The early group of censors and confessors that played a role
in Teresa's story was made up of about eight persons. Francisco
de Salcedo, the first whom she consulted, was a pious layman,
who had been practicing mental prayer for about forty years and
had diligently followed the course in theology at the College of
St. Thomas for twenty years, never, it seems, being able to hear
enough about the sacred science. It was he who received the first
account of Teresa's life and sins, the first sketch of her future
book. Salcedo, bewildered, in turn consulted the ascetical priest,
Gasper Daza. They were the two who concluded that her ex-
periences were from the devil, and unrelentingly held to this con-
clusion for a number of years.
Following the suggestion of the well-intentioned Salcedo,
Teresa next consulted the Jesuits. Those she approached at this
time were young, little more than half her age. Diego de Cetina,
34
St. Teresa of Avila
the first, was twenty-four, and one year a priest. After only a
couple of months he was transferred and followed by Juan de
Pradanos, twenty-seven, but also only one year ordained. After
serving two years as Teresa's confessor, this second was also
transferred. The third, most noted, was Baltasar Alvarez, twenty-
five or twenty-six, and one year ordained at the time he con-
sented to accept the task of directing Teresa.
Perplexed and wavering in his guidance of this extraordinary
woman, Alvarez was, nonetheless, heroic in standing by her,
ever willing and quick to give a boost to her sagging spirits dur-
ing the crucial years when everything seemed to be going wrong.
But his own uncertainties lagged on and were slow to dissipate
completely. Only ten years later, when he began to feel drawn
himself into the mystical path of prayer, did he win total peace
about the experiences of Madre Teresa. Once, years later, he
laconically confided to Ribera, pointing to a large pile of books:
"All those books I read in order to understand Teresa of Jesus."
In the group of Dominicans three eminent figures stand out:
Garcia de Toledo, Pedro Ibariez, and Domingo Bariez. Garcia
de Toledo, to whom Teresa relates as to a disciple as well as
to a director and confessor, and whom she calls "my father and
my son," is addressed directly in the Life as though Teresa were
writing him a letter. A true aristocrat, being a nephew of the
Count of Oropesa and cousin of the Viceroy of Peru, it was he,
most likely, who urged Teresa not to worry about going on at
too much length or about getting lost in a multiplicity of details.
He had held various offices within his order, including that of
provincial of Peru. Having known him from some years before,
Teresa met him once again in Toledo, an event she speaks of
enthusiastically in chapter 34. Within a short while, through her
influence and prayers, he underwent a more complete conver-
sion to God and began to grasp, by his own deeper experiences,
a great deal more about spiritual matters.
Pedro Ibanez was a professor of theology. Little by little Teresa
opened her soul to him, and he, in turn, was attracted to prayer.
Her account of his death, a death that took place before she fin-
ished the second redaction of her book, provides us with a no-
tion of the kind of person for whom she was writing initially:
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
35
"His prayer had reached such a degree that at the time of his
death when he wanted to avoid mental prayer because of his
great weakness, he couldn't on account of his many raptures.
He wrote to me a little before he died asking what he should
do, because when he finished saying Mass he often went into
rapture without being able to prevent it" (ch. 38, 13).
Domingo Banez didn't appear on stage until the spring of 1562.
Highly respected for his powers of mind and his doctrinal authori-
ty, he had some influence on the definitive redaction of the Life
and played a part in the later history of the manuscript, giving
a favorable opinion of it to the Inquisition.
Two other persons, who were a consolation and great help
to Teresa, were later canonized by the Church: Francis Borgia,
the Duke of Gandia, who renounced all and entered the Jesuits;
and Peter of Alcantara, the Franciscan penitent and reformer.
A Report in Writing
At the time Teresa took up her pen to begin The Book of Her
Life she was approaching fifty and had been experiencing a steady
flow of mystical grace for close to ten years. She was obliged,
finally, to report in writing her unusual and sometimes discon-
certing experiences so as to submit all to the judgment of pro-
fessionals. She did not at once meet with the best of fortune.
Neither Salcedo nor Daza were prepared to deal with anything
of this kind and depth. Fearful about her experiences, as was
mentioned, they obliged her to go from one counselor to another,
Jesuit as well as Dominican. These counselors, in turn, asked
for detailed written information.
The painful difficulty for Teresa was that, though she could
give a report in word and writing of her sins, the mystical life
she was experiencing stubbornly resisted all her attempts to
describe it. Her final resort was Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion,
in which she underlined and marked passages that seemed to
be telling of something similar to her own experiences. "For a
long time, even though God favored me, I didn't know what
words to use to explain His favors: and this was no small trial"
(ch. 12, 6). To give an adequate explanation of what she was
36
St. Teresa of Avila
experiencing she still needed other graces. "For it is one grace,"
she later discovered, "to receive the Lord's favor; another, to
understand which favor and grace it is; a third, to know how
to describe it" (ch. 17, 5).
Still extant among Teresa's writings are some accounts of her
spiritual state written before she wrote her Life. These are the
first two of her Spiritual Testimonies . It was Garcia de Toledo,
the one most eager, it seems from what she says of him, to know
all he could about her, who told her to write a more extended
and detailed report of her whole spiritual life and not just of her
actual state.
In the wealthy, somewhat peaceful surroundings of the palace
of Dona Luisa de la Cerda, where she had been staying, at this
noble lady's request and by order of her provincial, Teresa set
her mind to the task of putting her work into paragraphs or
chapters, she presented the finished product to Fr. Garcia in
June, 1562, before returning to Avila. The manuscript read more
like a long letter, in which she frequently addressed the person
for whom she wrote, carried on a dialogue with him, made ap-
peals to his theological competence, and so on.
Unfortunately, the first draft of her Life has been lost. The
learned Dominican priest did however read that composition,
making some observations about certain phrases that seemed
too strongly worded. He most probably shared the manuscript
with some who were close friends, such as Ibariez, and then
returned it to its author with the request, again with his
customary eagerness for further details, that she not only
transcribe it but add an additional section on the foundation of
St. Joseph's in Avila. This request, which Teresa ascribes to her
confessors, reached her at the end of 1563, when she had been
given verbal permission to reside in her new foundation — or
perhaps later, after the year 1564 had begun. The second draft
must have been written somewhat quickly amid the tranquil con-
templative life of religious observance that was followed in her
new monastery, in a cell stark for its poverty, without any com-
forts, without even a table or chair.
The revisions she made were not all minor ones. Anxious to
make matters clear and herself understood, she added eleven
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
37
new chapters (from chapters 1 1 to 22 inclusive) in which, using
the allegory of the four ways of watering a garden, she composed
a complete little treatise on the degrees of prayer. She added,
as well, the requested account of the foundation of St. Joseph's
(chapters 32-36), and then tacked on four additional chapters,
most gratifying we surmise to Fr. Garcia, that tell of other ex-
traordinary favors she received up until the end of 1565. This
latter date accounts for the supposition that it was at this time
she finished the book.
The Nature of Her Book
Although usually referred to as such, Teresa's book is not an
autobiography; nor is it an intimate diary. What she deals with
mainly are the supernatural (infused or mystical) realities of the
interior life. Nonetheless, she does make use of autobiographical
material as a backdrop against which she treats of the existence
and value of the favors of God. The fragmentary and scattered
biographical data comprise two levels, one exterior, the other
interior. The difference between these two levels runs much
deeper than any met with in everyday autobiographies. The ex-
terior level deals with the historical facts; it is a personal chroni-
cle limited in value. The interior level deals almost exclusively
with the mystical facts, facts that by reason of their quality and
depth lie beyond the layers of ordinary inner life, beyond the
purely historical, and beyond the usual ways in which the psyche
functions. It embraces higher states of consciousness, passive
perception and love, relations with the transcendent God, in-
tensification of the life of the spirit.
The evident preponderance of interior facts does not, however,
prevent an interweaving of both levels that results in the ingenious
plan of the book. As for the exterior events of her Life, the first
part, 1515-1535, consists of twenty years of family life; the next
twenty-seven years, 1535-1562, comprise her Carmelite life in
the monastery of the Incarnation; the final period includes three
years, 1562-1565, of her life at St. Joseph's, those initial years
in her newly established form of Carmelite life, the expansion
of which was to become her mission until her death in 1582.
38
St. Teresa of Avila
As for the interior events, her life was by and large of an
ascetical type until her conversion experience in 1554 (ch. 9, 1,8).
For the next two years or so she experienced the first inpouring
of mystical graces: feelings of God's presence, passive recollec-
tion and quiet, and the first tastes of union (ch. 9, 9; 10, 1).
About 1557 she received her first locution and rapture (ch. 19,
9; 25, 5). From the following year until 1560 she had to resist
persistently, in obedience to her confessor, the locutions and rap-
tures (ch. 25, 1,15; 27, 2). In June, 1560, she had her first in-
tellectual vision of the humanity of Christ (ch. 7,2). In January,
1561, the sacred humanity in its risen form, was represented to
her in an imaginative vision (ch. 28, 3). For two and a half years,
1561-1563, she frequently received this favor (ch. 29, 2). This
other more sublime favor belongs to the state she was in at the
lime of the writing of her book. It was a period of vehement
impulses of love, spiritual wounds of love and the transpiercing
of the soul. "You can't exaggerate or describe the way in which
God wounds the soul and the extreme pain this wound produces,
for it causes the soul to forget itself. Yet this pain is so delightful
that there is no other pleasure in life that gives greater happiness"
(ch. 29, 10). It feels that the only remedy for this painful sickness
is death.
Before adding the final touches to her work, Teresa was raised
to a still higher form of mystical experience. It is an experience,
she teaches, that comes much later than all the visions and revela-
tions she spoke of. The soul is lifted far above itself and brought
into a vast solitude in which it experiences intense spiritual pain.
Just as the powerful spiritual joy of union and rapture suspends
the faculties, so in this form of prayer it is pain that suspends
them. "Who could give a good explanation of this prayer. . .It
is what my soul is now always experiencing. Usually when unoc-
cupied it is placed in the midst of these anxious longings for death;
and when it sees they are beginning, it fears that it will not die.
But once in the midst of them, it would desire to spend the re-
mainder of its life in this suffering, even though the suffering
is so excessive a person cannot endure it. . . . I sometimes really
think that if this prayer continues as it does now, the Lord would
be served if my life came to an end,. . .1 am oblivious of
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
39
everything in that anxious longing to see God; that desert and
solitude seem to the soul better than all the companionship of
the world. If anything could give the soul consolation, it would
be to speak to someone who had suffered this torment" (ch. 20,
12-13). This painful spiritual fire never produced the death and
subsequent vision of God she longed for. But what is worth point-
ing out is that the definitive work on her Life poured from her
pen while she was at this particular milestone of her spiritual
journey. In later works she speaks of a further deepening of her
union with God, of a more gentle, peaceful fire in which the
soul feels that it already enjoys the possession of God, although
not the fruition, in which it goes about so forgetful of self that
it thinks it has partly lost its being.
In giving personal testimony of her own experience, Teresa
proceeds from her particular case to what can be said on a univer-
sal plane. In addition to a personal testimony, then, we have
a teaching suitable for all. In giving her testimony she examines
her conscience and analyzes her spiritual life, making an extraor-
dinary effort to explain herself, and this truthfully and with
simplicity. She tells of both sins and favors — "good things and
bad." With the favors preponderating over the sins the balance
between these two constitutive elements of her account is broken.
Although this is partly due to the fact that in her story the mystical
element did prevail over the ascetical, there is, nonetheless, the
added factor that the real object of her testimony is the super-
natural; to witness to the existence and the value of these realities
of her inner life and to affirm their excellence and importance
on a universal plane. The resultant intermingling of testimony
and doctrine is a characteristic of Teresa's method of teaching.
Never does she attempt to camouflage her ignorance nor does
she need to. She frankly admits the problem she has with ex-
plaining herself clearly in writing; that she doesn't know the
precise terminology; that she doesn't know philosophy and
theology. Nor does she even have for her use so much as a Bi-
ble. Irrespective of her lack of means she has certitude, the cer-
titude of incontestable experience. "I know through experience
that what I say is true" (ch. 27, 11). A certitude that would not
cower before renowned theologians. "The mystery of the Blessed
40
St. Teresa of Avila
Trinity and other sublime things are so explained that there is
no theologian with whom it [the soul] would not dispute in favor
of the truth of these grandeurs" (ch. 27, 9).
Not all possess the charism to speak of the unutterable mystical
experience, the grace of speech as Thomas Aquinas calls it (S.
Th. 2-2, q. 1 77 , a. 1-2). The Lord gave her his gift only after
she had experienced years of stammering and powerlessness. By
God's gift not only were her spoken words imbued with unction
but her written ones were as well. Those who knew her testified
that reading her words was like hearing her talk; the effect was
the same, her manner of writing being the equivalent of her way
of conversing. She herself was definitely aware of the divine
source from which some of the pages flowed. "Many of the things
I write about here do not come from my own head, but my
heavenly Master tells them to me" (ch. 39, 8). She cherished
her spiritual books and doesn't deny the debt contracted from
some of them. But, though she thought she was understanding
something of what she read in them, she later realized "that if
the Lord didn't show me, I was able to learn little from books,
because there was nothing I understood until His Majesty gave
me understanding through experience" (ch. 22, 3). Often in set-
ting about to describe a particular mystical state she begins to
experience the very prayer she wants to describe. "I believe that
on account of the humility your Reverence has shown in desir-
ing to be helped by as simple-minded a person as myself, the
Lord today after Communion granted me this prayer; and in-
terrupting my thanksgiving, He put before me these com-
parisons, taught me the manner of explaining it, and what the
soul must do here" (ch. 16, 2). Sometimes the force of the in-
fused love welling up within her leaves a striking mark on what
she writes. "Since while I write this I am not freed from such
holy, heavenly madness coming from Your goodness and
mercy — for You grant this favor without any merits on my part
at all — either desire, my King, I beseech You, that all to whom
I speak become mad from Your love, or do not permit that I
speak to anyone!" (ch. 16, 4). She longs to attract souls to the
practice of prayer and encourages them to persevere: longs that
others be afflicted with her madness, and sick with her sickness
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
41
(ch. 19, 4; 16, 6).
Where did Teresa discover her message? In the story of her
own life. There she found the lessons she must write about, the
practical doctrine she thought could be helpful to all who might
read her work. Unconcerned about abstract notions, concep-
tualizations, systems of thought, or articulated outlines, she
preferred to tell her story and teach her doctrine without any
literary artifices or aids.
The Plan of Her Book
Teresa's book, resembling a long letter, contained no pauses,
divisions, intermediate titles, or any initial title. When she tried
to divide the work into chapters and add chapter headings she
met with unsurprising difficulty. According to the custom of the
times each heading had to be a summary of the material cover-
ing the ten or twelve folios the chapter comprised, obliging her
to figure out the common denominators, central themes, and
bookish formulas that her digressions and letter-writing tone
would allow. She rarely succeeded, but limited herself to sug-
gesting the general idea of what was being discussed, and then
often adding, with engaging simplicity, a few words of praise
for what is written, or an ingenuous exhortation to read and allow
oneself to be convinced.
With all this in mind, one supposes that the final result would
have to be a jumble of themes, held only loosly together by the
thread of her personal story. The supposition proves false. Amaz-
ingly enough, the structural plan results in a remarkable unity,
developed with sharp, impeccable logic, and articulated in four
sections expertly joined and almost equal in length. By combining
the basic outline with a summary of the contents the following
guide can be constructed.
1 . She starts off by telling how from a very early age she began
to receive God's abundant grace. She was introduced to the path
of prayer and, in her early twenties, even led to some initial ex-
perience in mystical prayer. Though she repeatedly frustrated
God's work, even to the point of abandoning prayer and the in-
terior life, His mercy was finally victorious over her own sorry
42
St. Teresa of Avila
state. When, in the end, she surrendered more totally to His
grace, God began His admirable and more immediate work
within her soul (chaps. 1-10).
2. So wonderful was this work that she finds it necessary, in
order that it be understood, to present a detailed exposition of
prayer, its nature, degrees, and effects. She goes about this task
with the help of an allegory, that of four different ways of watering
a garden: using buckets of water drawn from a well, the equal
of meditation; using a bucket-type water wheel that has to be
turned by hand, the equivalent of the prayer of recollection and
quiet; diverting a stream along irrigation ditches, equal to the
prayer of the sleep of the faculties; and allowing the garden to
be watered with rain from heaven, the equivalent of the prayer
of union (chaps. 11-22).
3. From the detailed exposition of these forms of prayer the
reader understands more easily how the latter ways of watering
were accomplished in the soul of Teresa; how the Lord purified
her, flooded her with grace, allowed her to perceive His divine
presence, hear His voice, penetrate the mysterious abyss of His
trinitarian life, and come into contact with the most varied
realities of the supernatural world. Throughout the pages of her
book a steady series of rare and wonderful things is set before
our minds: ecstasies, visions, locutions from God, transpierc-
ing of the soul, infused love of the purest and strongest kind,
new wisdom, the flowering of sturdy virtues, premonitions of
a probable death of love, and foretastes of beatific life (chaps.
23-31).
4. A practical result of this outpouring of divine grace is the
fruitfulness of her life of service. She observes that in the earlier
period of her spiritual life only three persons, in the course of
many years, profited from what she said to them. Later when
she had been strengthened through God's favors, many profited
within two or three years (ch. 13, 9). In Carmel itself, through
the foundation of St. Joseph's she inaugurated a new, more con-
templative lifestyle that stressed divine intimacy and was to spread
throughout the entire world, serving as yeast, reminding all that
if they seek resolutely through prayer the things that are above,
they will soon enjoy the possession of perfect love, a blessing
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
43
more precious than any earthly thing (ch. 11, 1-2).
She begins, furthermore, to live with surprising intensity the
mystery of the communion of saints. She deals on familiar terms
with the saints in heaven. Her prayer bears special efficacy for
those in purgatory as well as for those on earth; it also gives her
dominion over demons (chaps. 32-40).
The basic structure of the book, then, consists of four parts:
1) Sins, graces, and vocation 10 chapters
2) Treatise on the degrees of prayer 12 chapters
3) Mystical life 9 chapters
4) Effects 9 chapters
Main Ideas
Teresa in a letter once called this work of hers the Book of God's
Mercies. The infinite divine mercy, persistent and inexhaustible
alonside our shoddy lives, provides the underlying doctrinal sup-
port of her Life. Convinced of her own misery, she is convinced
too that the story of her life can serve as a dark backdrop for
the glorious contrasting light of His Majesty's mercy. And what
mercy; reckless and prodigal and lavish, without any seeming
limits to the favors He bestowed.
Her doctrinal thesis rises out of her personal story. The mer-
cy of God reaching out to the misery of humans is not an excep-
tion but a law. Mercy and munificence pervade the divine at-
titude, reaching out toward every soul. She is certain that
everyone is called to the summit of the mountain where only
the glory of God dwells, that God is keeping watch, waiting for
the hour to give. Teresa, or the reader, can put off the hour;
yet if and when it arrives, early or late (her early childhood or
her late conversion), God will not fail to act with a generous
mercy substantially identical with that referred to in the book.
"Oh, what a good friend You make, my Lord! How you pro-
ceed by favoring and enduring. You wait for others to adapt
to Your nature, and in the meanwhile You put up with theirs!"
(ch. 8, 6). It is in this sense that Teresa's case is a typical one.
For the hour to arrive, an unavoidable condition is required:
total surrender to God. "Let Your will be done in me in every
44
St. Teresa of Aviia
way, and may it not please Your Majesty that something as
precious as Your love be given to anyone who serves You only
for the sake of consolations" (ch. 11, 12). In addition, sounding
like a wiry old Zen master, she insists again and again on deter-
mination. The determination must be joined to the surrender,
determination to follow Christ in this way even though the
dryness may last for one's whole life (ch. 11, 10). His Majesty
wants this determination, and He is a friend of courageous souls
(ch. 13, 1-3). Courage and determination, on the other hand,
do not go without recompense. "But I have seen clearly that God
does not leave one, even in this life, without a large reward" (ch.
11, 11).
Individuals then, must undergo a change in the recesses of
their being before they can perceive and follow the delicate urg-
ings of the Spirit, become somewhat like those newly-discovered
precision instruments capable of the subtlest forms of reception
and transmission. This requires the time and the effort. "The
most we have to strive for in the beginning is to care for oneself
alone and consider that there is nothing on earth but God and
oneself (ch. 13, 9).
This brings us to the central theme of her book: mental prayer,
which she conceived of as "an intimate sharing between
friends . . . taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we
know loves us" (ch. 8, 5). This concept of prayer as a relation-
ship between friends who know they love each other and need
to be alone in order to share intimately their deepest feelings
and thoughts is the simple and strikingly human Teresian
characteristic of the path to perfection. Teresa as a young girl
and later as a young religious felt powerfully drawn to human
friendship. She was highly talented in the art of conversation.
But she experienced as well that so much of her conversation,
weighty or frivolous, was enervating to the life of the Spirit. "For
more than eighteen of the twenty-eight years since 1 began
prayer, I suffered this battle and conflict between friendship with
God and friendship with the world" (ch. 8, 3). Feeling powerless
in her struggle (for it is necessary that "we see by experience
our own worthlessness so that what happened to Lucifer will not
happen to us" [ch. 11, 11]), she one day, while praying in solitude
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
45
to her God for light about some friendships to which she was
attached, experienced her first rapture in which she heard the
words: "No longer do I want you to converse with men but with
angels." The words were efficacious. "I have never again been
able to tie myself to any friendship or to find consolation in or
bear particular love for any other persons than those I under-
stand love Him and strive to serve Him" (ch. 24, 5-6). Her
unusual capacity for friendship was lifted up and transformed.
Prayer is an actuation of the theological virtues; charity is friend-
ship of human beings with God. The friendship is intensified
through the growth simultaneously of charity and prayer, a
growth coinciding with the four ways of watering the garden,
the four degrees of prayer, or ways of receiving the inflow of
grace.
The dimensions of this development can be grasped by ob-
serving the first and last degree. At the outset the prayer begins
with an ascetical effort at personal communion with God, either
by means of the tedious and often dry exercise of discursive
meditation or by patient repetition of vocal prayer — in both cases
always making the effort to keep Christ present. These initial
efforts reach their culmination in the higher mystical graces, with
locutions, visions, and union, when the divine Friend removes
some of the veils and reveals His presence.
With the support of these graces, she is ready to discuss another
important topic: the sanctifying power of the mystical favors.
While writing her Life she is undergoing herself a transfigura-
tion in the depths of her being. Still not clearly aware of what
the outcome will hold, she knows with strong conviction that
this kind of grace bears with it an incomparable efficacy. Human
efforts of the other kind, even though intense and forceful, lie
on a more superficial plane, remaining weaker in their effect.
Long years of painful efforts and tenacious struggle do not reach
into the deep caverns of energy and power as does a brief ex-
perience of these supernatural graces. In speaking of mystical
understanding she concludes: ". . .one of these favors is enough
to change a soul completely" (ch. 27, 9).
Her mission is the mystical life. She protests against those who
belittle its graces or, on the other hand, those who think these
46
St. Teresa of Avila
graces can be evoked through subtle techniques, that the toad
can fly of itself whenever it wants (ch. 23, 13). No. In regard
to the mystical graces one's whole task consists in accepting the
cross of dryness with courage and humility and the freedom of
spirit that comes with detachment from consolation; it consists
in persevering prayer so as to open to receive what God gives:
first the little spark, which in turn will enkindle the large fire.
"I say only that prayer is the door to favors as great as those
He granted me. If this door is closed, I don't know how He will
grant them" (ch. 8, 9). And so she goes on — underscoring her
basic message, that the favors of the mystical life have an in-
comparable value. "Let us not cease to believe that even in this
life God gives the hundredfold" (ch. 22, 15).
History of the Autograph
Though the Life was written for her confessors, Teresa wasn't
completely content with the approval they gave of her spirit.
There was still another whose opinion she couldn't rest without;
that was St. John of Avila, the apostle of Andalusia, then con-
sidered the most qualified person in Spain to judge spiritual mat-
ters. In 1568, after no little difficulty, Teresa was able to get
the manuscript delivered to him. After studying it, he returned
it to its author with a letter of approbation and praise dated
September 12, 1568.
In 1570 she brought her account with her to Salamanca and
let some of her confessors there read it: two Jesuits, Martm
Gutierrez and Jeronimo Ripalda, and two Dominicans, Bar-
tolome de Medina (who at one time had been highly critical of
Teresa but later changed into one of her strong supporters) and
Pedro de Herrero. As word spread concerning the secret
manuscript, Teresa was urged by certain persons from whom
she had received many favors to allow some copies to be made —
by the Duchess of Alba and the Bishop of Avila, for example.
When the capricious and wealthy princess of Eboli, through
whose benefactions Teresa was able to found two Carmels at
Pastrana, heard news of the secret work, she insisted so em-
phatically on reading it that Teresa was forced to yield. The
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
47
princess made no effort to keep the manuscript out of the hands
of the servants, and soon this intimate, deeply spiritual account
became a subject of gossip and ridicule throughout the entire
household by people who were completely out of their depth.
After her husband's death the domineering princess, with much
fanfare, expressed her grief by entering the Carmel of Pastrana
to become a nun. She caused so much disturbance to the quiet
contemplative life of the community that the nuns had to aban-
don the monastery there for Segovia. This was a blow to the
princess's self-love. She settled the score by denouncing Teresa's
Life to the Inquisition as the work of a heretical, illuminist nun,
and as being all about visions, revelations and dangerous doc-
trines. Without delay the Inquisition began its inquiry. A letter
was sent on January 2, 1575 to Don Alvaro de Mendoza, Bishop
of Avila, ordering him to give over the book he had by Teresa
of Jesus. Fortunately the Inquisition let the manuscript fall into
good hands. It was Fr. Bahez, one of Teresa's confessors, who
was appointed censor. His judgment of the book contained a
matter-of-fact statement of approval: "Although this woman. . . is
mistaken in some matters, at least she does not intend to lead
others into error, for she speaks so frankly of good and bad, and
with such desire to be correct in what she says, that one cannot
doubt her good intention."
The autograph, however, was not returned but kept in the
secret archives until 1588, after Teresa's death. At this time,
Mother Ana de Jesus, then prioress of Madrid — one of Teresa's
most noted and talented daughters, for whom St. John of the
Cross wrote his commentary on the Spiritual Canticle, and who
had influential friends at the royal court — managed to obtain
the manuscript from the Inquisition in view of the printed edi-
tion of Teresa's works being prepared by the scholarly Augusti-
nian friar, Luis de Leon. King Philip II later obtained the
autograph for his own royal library of the Escorial where it is
still preserved. It was placed beside works of two doctors of the
Church, St. John Chrysostom and St. Augustine, almost as if
to predict that Teresa herself, even though a woman, would one
day be declared a doctor of the Church. This she was by Paul
VI on September 27, 1970.
48
St. Teresa of Avila
Teresa's writings have been continuously popular throughout
the world since the time of their first printing, and have been
translated into twenty-one languages. With regard to the Life,
it was the first of the saint's works to attract translators. As ear-
ly as 1611 an English translation of the Life by a W. M. was
published in Antwerp. These were the initials of William Malone,
a Jesuit persecuted and in exile from Ireland. In this century
the most widely circulated English translation of Teresa's writings
has been that done by the British scholar and authority on the
Spanish mystics, E. Allison Peers. His translation was from Fr.
Silverio's edition.
A New Translation
Unlike other Spanish classic authors, Teresa had no training
as a writer. Her style is thoroughly spontaneous, without the
slightest trace of artificiality or sophistication. Writing the way
she talked, she reflects the popular language of the Castilian peo-
ple of her time: natural, direct, colorful, and incisive. As though
her thoughts were jostling with each other for position, her
sentences often become highly involved with parentheses and
digressions, causing her sometimes to lose the thread — which
never prevents her from leaping forward quickly and easily to
a new thought. Within her sentences she bothers little about
preserving the agreement between the parts of speech required
for the sake of clarity; she shifts back and forth from singular
to plural, from first person to third, from past to present, and
so on. Translating Teresa's sentences is often like working on
puzzles, and some of the puzzles we can never be completely
sure that we have solved. But by and large her meaning can be
determined with certitude from the context. There are, finally,
numerous instances of cacophony (yayo me temia a mi [ch. 3, 7]);
or of the use of semitisms (estaba enferma de grandisima enfermedad
[ch. 5, 2]); of redundant or excessive uses of superlatives (muy
honesto en gran manera [ch. 1, 1]); or of the use of multiple verbs
(deje de holgarme de oirlo [ch. 3, 1]).
In spite of the grammatical or stylistic shortcomings there is
something about the color, spontaneity, and simplicity of Teresa's
The Book of Her Life — Introduction
49
style that makes her a delight to read. There is also a subtle wit
frequently at work in what she says or in the way she says it.
It is not an unusual sight to see Spaniards chuckling to themselves
at the reading of Teresa of Avila in the original.
Those who had the privilege of observing her write have
testified that she could do so as rapidly as any public notary,
that she never paused to think or correct a word, or cross one
out. She once said herself that she wished she could write with
both hands so that all the ideas pouring into her head could be
got on paper. She doesn't punctuate, and the paragraph divi-
sions are few.
This is the first volume of a projected new English transla-
tion of St. Teresa's writings. One of the objectives of the Institute
of Carmelite Studies in the United States is to provide new
translations of the classic writings of the Carmelite saints. As
a result it will be possible for the Institute to keep the works of
these Carmelites in print in their entirety and always available
to the American public, updating them when necessary. We are
also taking full advantage of new findings and of all that recent
scholarship has contributed to a better understanding of Teresa
and her writings.
In this new translation we have striven above all for fidelity
to Teresa's thought; in addition we have sought to capture
something of her style, while at the same time rendering her in
the language we use today. No purpose would have been served,
however, in aiming after a type of literal fidelity that would even
translate the shortcomings in Spanish grammar into shortcom-
ings in English grammar. Compromise was our way out of many
a difficulty as supposedly it is with most translators. We have
tried to bring as much clarity and precision to our rendering
as we could while at the same time preserving something of the
peculiarities of the Teresian style.
Although no thorough critical text of Teresa's writings have
yet been produced, we were fortunate in having for our use the
edition prepared by Fr. Tomas de la Cruz (Alvarez) of the com-
plete works of St. Teresa (Burgos: Edit. El Monte Carmelo, 1971).
His punctuation of the text and ample supply of footnotes were
an important aid to us in a number of obscure passages. Many
50
St. Teresa of Avila
of our own notes, with his gracious consent, are based on, or
taken word for word, from those in his Spanish edition. For fur-
ther accuracy we have made use of the new editions prepared
by Frs. Efren and Steggink (Madrid: B.A.C., 1967); Fr. Isidoro
(Madrid: Edit, de Espiritualidad, 1963) and Fr. Enrique Llamas
(Madrid: Edit, de Espiritualidad, 1971). For a Teresian
bibliography by English authors or of works translated into
English see Sebastian Ramge, An Introduction to the Writings of
St. Teresa (Chicago: Henry Regnery Co., 1963), pp. 124-135.
For ongoing Teresian bibliography see Archivum Bibliographicum
Carmelitanum (Rome: Teresianum, 1956-) and also Bibliographia
Internationalis Spiritualitatis (Rome: Teresianum, 1969-).
Kieran Kavanaugh
Carmelite Monastery
Waverly, New York
The introductions by Tomas Alvarez in his Spanish edition
of the works of St. Teresa as well as many pages of research
gathered by my colleague Otilio Rodriquez were especially
helpful to me in preparing the introductions for this volume.
I am grateful to these two Teresian scholars and also to some
other persons in particular who have labored to make this book
possible: Adrian J. Cooney for his careful reading of a good por-
tion of the manuscript and his many valued suggestions about
the English rendering; Joseph Crawford for his editorial work;
Sr. Josephine for the index; our typist Jean Mallon; and our
printer Robert Rowe. Finally, I would like to thank those many
others who by their constant encouragement helped us to reach
this first stage of a long and so far to us thoroughly rewarding
work.
For some important studies of various subjects covered in the
above introduction concerning the Spain of Teresa's time see
R. Trevor Davies, The Golden Century of Spain 1501-1621, Harper
Torchbooks (New York: Harper and Rowe, 1937); J. H. Elliott,
Imperial Spain 1469-1716, A Mentor Book (New York: The New
American Library, 1966); Henry Kamen, The Spanish Inquisi-
tion (New York: The New American Library, 1965); P. Tom-
maso della Croce, "Santa Teresa e i movimenti spirituali del suo tern-
The Book of Her Life — Introduction 5 1
po," Collana Fiamma Viva, vol. 4 (Rome: Teresianum, 1963), pp.
9-54; Dictionnaire de Spiritualite \ s.v. "Espagne: VAge dtir, "by Adolfo
de la M. de Dios; and Ibid., s.v. "I lluminisme, " hy Eulogio de
la Virgen del Carmen.
K.K.
52
St. Teresa of Avila
The Flaming Heart
(Upon the book and picture of the seraphical St. Teresa)
O thou undaunted daughter of desires!
By all thy dower of lights and fires;
By all the eagle in thee, all the dove;
By all thy lives and deaths of love;
By thy large draughts of intellectual day,
And by thy thirsts of love more large than they;
By all thy brim-filled bowls of fierce desire,
And by thy last morning's draughts of liquid fire;
By the full kingdom of that final kiss
That seized thy parting soul, and sealed thee His;
By all the heavens thou hast in Him
(Fair sister of the Seraphim);
By all of Him we have in Thee;
Leave nothing of my Self in me.
Let me so read thy life, that I
Unto all life of mine may die.
Richard Crashaw, d. 1649
JHS
Prologue
1 . Since my confessors commanded me and gave me plenty
of leeway to write about the favors and the kind of prayer the
Lord has granted me, I wish they would also have allowed me
to tell very clearly and minutely about my great sins and wretched
life. This would be a consolation. But they didn't want me to.
In fact I was very much restricted in those matters.1 And so I
ask, for the love of God, whoever reads this account to bear in
mind that my life has been so wretched that I have not found
a saint among those who were converted to God in whom I can
find comfort. For I note that after the Lord called them, they
did not turn back and offend Him. As for me, not only did I
turn back and become worse, but it seems I made a study out
of resisting the favors His Majesty was granting me. I was like
someone who sees that she is obliged to serve more, yet
understands that she can't pay the smallest part of her debt.
2. May God be blessed forever, He who waited for me so long!
I beseech Him with all my heart to give me the grace to present
with complete clarity and truthfulness this account of my life
which my confessors ordered me to write. And I know, too, that
even the Lord has for some time wanted me to do this, although
I have not dared. May this account render Him glory and
praise. And from now on may my confessors knowing me bet-
ter through this narration help me in my weakness to give the
Lord something of the service I owe Him, whom all things praise
forever. Amen.
53
Chapter 1
Treats of how the Lord began to awaken this soul to virtue in her childhood
and of how helpful it is in this matter that parents also be virtuous.
TO HAVE HAD VIRTUOUS and God-fearing parents'
along with the graces the Lord granted me should have been
enough for me to have led a good life, if I had not been so
wretched. My father was fond of reading good books, and thus
he also had books in Spanish for his children to read. These good
books together with the care my mother took to have us pray
and be devoted to our Lady and to some of the saints began
to awaken me when, I think, six or seven years old, to the prac
tice of virtue. It was a help to me to see that my parents favored
nothing but virtue. And they themselves possessed many.
My father was a man very charitable with the poor and com-
passionate toward the sick, and even toward servants. So great
was his compassion that nobody was ever able to convince him
to accept slaves.2 And his pity for them was such that once hav-
ing in his home a slave owned by his brother, he treated her
as though she were one of his children. He used to say that out
of pity he couldn't bear seeing her held captive. He was very
honest. No one ever saw him swear or engage in fault-finding.
He was an upright man.
2. My mother also had many virtues. And she suffered much
sickness during her life. She was extremely modest. Although
very beautiful, she never gave occasion to anyone to think she
paid any attention to her beauty. For at the time of her death
at the age of thirty-three, her clothes were already those of a
much older person. She was gentle and very intelligent. Great
were the trials she suffered during her life. Her death was a tru-
54
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 1
55
ly Christian one.
3. We were in all three sisters and nine brothers.5 All
resembled their parents in being virtuous, through the goodness
of God, with the exception of myself — although I was the most
loved of my father. And it seemed he was right — before I began
to offend God. For I am ashamed when I recall the good inclin-
ations the Lord gave me and how poorly I knew how to profit
by them.
4. My brothers and sisters did not in any way hold me back
from the service of God. I had one brother about my age.4 We
used to get together to read the lives of the saints. (He was the
one I liked most, although I had great love for them all and they
for me.) When I considered the martyrdoms the saints suffered
for God, it seemed to me that the price they paid for going to
enjoy God was very cheap, and I greatly desired to die in the
same way. I did not want this on account of the love I felt for
God but to get to enjoy very quickly the wonderful things I read
there were in heaven. And my brother and I discussed together
the means we should take to achieve this. We agreed to go off
to the land of the Moors and beg them, out of love of God, to
cut off our heads there. It seemed to me the Lord had given us
courage at so tender an age, but we couldn't discover any means.
Having parents seemed to us the greatest obstacle. We were ter-
rified in what we read about the suffering and the glory that was
to last forever. We spent a lot of time talking about this and took
delight in often repeating: forever and ever and ever. As I said
this over and over, the Lord was pleased to impress upon me
in childhood the way of truth.
5. When I saw it was impossible to go where I would be killed
for God, we made plans to be hermits. And in a garden that
we had in our house, we tried as we could to make hermitages
piling up some little stones which afterward would quickly fall
down again. And so in nothing could we find a remedy for our
desire. It gives me devotion now to see how God gave me so
early what I lost through my own fault.
6. I gave what alms I could, but that was little. I sought out
solitude to pray my devotions, and they were many, especially
the rosary, to which my mother was very devoted; and she made
56
St. Teresa of Avila
us devoted to it too. When I played with other girls I enjoyed
it when we pretended we were nuns in a monastery, and it
seemed to me that I desired to be one, although not as much
as I desired the other things I mentioned.
7. I remember that when my mother died I was twelve years
old or a little less.5 When I began to understand what I had
lost, I went, afflicted, before an image of our Lady and besought
her with many tears to be my mother.0 It seems to me that
although I did this in simplicity it helped me. For I have found
favor with this sovereign Virgin in everything I have asked of
her, and in the end she has drawn me to herself. It wearies me
now to see and think that I was not constant in the good desires
I had in my childhood.
8. O my Lord, since it seems You have determined to save
me, I beseech Your Majesty that it may be so. And since You
have granted me as many favors as You have, don't You think
it would be good (not for my gain but for You honor) if the inn
where You have so continually to dwell were not to get so dirty?
It wearies me, Lord, even to say this, for I know that the whole
fault was mine. It doesn't seem to me that there was anything
more for You to do in order that from this age I would be all
Yours. If I start to complain about my parents, I am not able
to do so, for I saw nothing but good in them and solicitude for
my own good.
As I grew older, when I began to know of the natural attrac-
tive qualities the Lord had bestowed on me (which others said
were many), instead of thanking Him for them, I began to make
use of them all to offend Him, as I shall now tell.
Chapter 2
Treats of how she lost these virtues and of how important it is in childhood
to associate with virtuous people.
WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL ABOUT began, it seems
to me, to do me much harm. I sometimes reflect on the
great damage parents do by not striving that their children might
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 2
57
always see virtuous deeds of every kind. For even though my
mother, as I said,1 was so virtuous, I did not, in reaching the
age of reason, imitate her good qualities; in fact hardly at all.
And the bad ones did me much harm. She loved books of
chivalry.-' But this pastime didn't hurt her the way it did me,
for she did not fail to do her duties; and we used to read them
together in our free time. Perhaps she did this reading to escape
thinking of the great trials she had to bear and to busy her
children with something so that they would not turn to other
things dangerous to them. Our reading such books was a mat-
ter that weighed so much upon my father that we had to be cau-
tioned lest he see us. I began to get the habit of reading these
books. And by that little fault, which I saw in my mother, I
started to grow cold in my desires and to fail in everything else.
I didn't think it was wrong to waste many hours of the day and
night in such a useless practice, even though hidden from my
father. I was so completely taken up with this reading that I didn't
think I could be happy if I didn't have a new book.
2. I began to dress in finery and to desire to please and look
pretty, taking great care of my hands and hair and about per-
fumes and all the empty things in which one can indulge, and
which were many, for I was very vain. I had no bad intentions
since I would not have wanted anyone to offend God on my ac-
count. For many years I took excessive pains about cleanliness
and other things that did not seem in any way sinful. Now I
see how wrong it must have been.
I had some first cousins5 who often came to our house,
though my father was very cautious and would not allow others
to do so; please God he had been inspired to do likewise with
my cousins. For now I realize what a danger it is at an age when
one should begin to cultivate the virtues to associate with peo-
ple who do not know the vanity of the world but rather are just
getting ready to throw themselves into it. They were about my
age — a little older than I — and we always went about together.
They liked me very much, and I engaged in conversations with
them about all the things that pleased them. I listened to ac-
counts of their affections and of childish things not the least bit
edifying; and, what was worse, I exposed my soul to that which
58
St. Teresa of Avila
caused all its harm.
3. If I should have to give advice, I would tell parents that
when their children are this age they ought to be very careful
about whom their children associate with. For here lies the root
of great evil since our natural bent is toward the worst rather
than toward the best.
So it happened to me. For I had a sister4 much older than
I whose modesty and goodness (of which she had a great deal)
I did not imitate at all; and I imitated all that was harmful in
a relative who spent a lot of time at our house. She was so
frivolous that my mother tried very hard to keep her from com-
ing to our home. It seems my mother foresaw the harm that
would be done to me on account of her, but there were so many
occasions for her to come to the house that my mother could
not prevent it. This relative was the one I liked to associate with.
My talks and conversations were with her, for she encouraged
me in all the pastimes I desired and even immersed me in them
by sharing with me her conversations and vanities. Until I began
to associate with her when I was fourteen, or I think older (I
mean when she took me for her friend and confidante), I don't
think I would have abandonded God by a mortal sin or lost the
fear of God, although the fear of losing my honor was stronger
in me. This sense of honor gave me the strength not to com-
pletely lose my reputation. Nor do I think anything in the world
could have made me change my mind in that regard. Neither
do I think the love of anyone could have made me give in. Would
that I had had the fortitude not to do anything against the honor
of God just as my natural bent gave me fortitude not to lose
anything of what I thought belonged to the honor of the world.
And I did not see that I was losing it in many other ways.
4. I was extreme in my vain desire for my reputation, but
the means necessary to preserve it I didn't take; although I was
very circumspect so as not to lose it entirely.
This friendship pained my father and sister. They often re-
proached me for it. Since they couldn't do away with the occa-
sion for her coming to our home, their careful efforts were useless,
for I was strikingly shrewd when it came to mischief. It frightens
me sometimes to think of the harm a bad companion can do,
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 2
59
and if I hadn't experienced it I wouldn't believe it. Especially
during adolescence the harm done must be greater. I should like
parents to learn from my experience to be very watchful in this
matter. And indeed this conversation so changed me that hard-
ly any virtue remained to my naturally virtuous soul. And I think
she and another girl friend of the same type impressed their own
traits upon me.
5. From such experience I understand the great profit that
comes from good companionship. And I am certain that if at
that age I had gone around with virtuous persons, I would have
remained whole in virtue. For should I have had when that age
someone to teach me to fear God, my soul would have gained
strength not to fall. Afterward, having lost this fear of God com-
pletely, I only had the fear of losing my reputation, and such
fear brought me torment in everything I did. With the thought
that my deeds would not be known, I dared to do many things
truly against my honor and against God.
6. These things did me harm, I think, at the beginning, and
it wasn't her fault but mine. For afterward my malice was suffi-
cient, together with having the maids around, for in them I found
a helping hand for every kind of wrong. If there had been one
of them to give me good counsel, I perhaps would have benefited
by it; but self-interest blinded them as my vanity did me. I was
never inclined to great evil — for I naturally abhorred indecent
things — but to the pastime of pleasant conversation; yet, placed
in the occasion, the danger was at hand, and my father's and
brothers' reputation was in jeopardy as well. From all these oc-
casions and dangers God delivered me in such a way that it seems
clear He strove, against my will, to keep me from being com-
pletely lost, although this deliverance could not be achieved so
secretly as to prevent me from suffering much loss of reputa-
tion and my father from being without suspicion. For it doesn't
seem to me that three months, during which I engaged in these
vanities, had gone by when my father brought me to a convent
in that place where they educated persons like myself,"1
although not with habits as bad as mine. This was done so
cautiously that only I and some relatives knew about it because
they waited for an opportunity when it would not seem surpris-
60
St. Teresa of Avila
ing for me to go to the convent school; that is, once my sister
was married"1 it seemed no longer good for me to stay at home
without a mother.
7. So excessive was the love my father bore me and so great
my dissimulation that he was unable to believe there was much
wrong with me, and so he was not angered with me. Since this
period of time had been brief, and though he knew something,
nothing could be said with certainty. For since I feared so much
for my honor, I used every effort to keep my actions secret, and
I never considered that one can never do this with Him who
sees all things. O my God! What harm is done in the world by
considering our actions of only little importance and by think-
ing something can be done against You in secret! I am certain
that great evils would be avoided if we were to understand that
the whole matter lies not in our guarding ourselves against men
but in our guarding ourselves against displeasing You.
8. The first eight days I felt very unhappy because of my be-
ing in that convent school, and more than that because of my
suspicion that they knew about my vanity. For already I was
wearied and did not fail to have great fear of God when I of-
fended Him, trying to go to confession at once. Although at the
beginning I was very unhappy, within eight days — and I think
even less — I was much more content than when in my father's
house. All were very pleased with me, for the Lord gave me the
grace to be pleasing wherever I went, and so I was much loved.
And although at that time I was strongly against my becoming
a nun, it made me happy to see such good nuns, for there were
many good ones in that house, very modest, religious and cir-
cumspect. Nonetheless, in spite of all, the devil didn't let up
tempting me, through some outsiders who continued to send me
messages. But since the opportunities were few, these persons
stopped sending them. My soul began to return to the good habits
of early childhood, and I saw the great favor God accords to
anyone placed with good companions. It seems to me that His
Majesty was considering and reconsidering in what way He could
bring me back to Himself. May You be blessed, Lord, who put
up with me so long! Amen.
9. One thing, it seems, that could have amounted to some
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 3
61
excuse for me, should I not have had so many faults, was that
the friendship with one of my cousins was in view of a possible
marriage; and having inquired of my confessor and other per-
sons about many things, I was told I was doing nothing against
God.
10. There was a nun7 there in care of the dormitory for all
of us who were lay persons. It was by means of her it seems that
the Lord wished to begin to give me light, as I shall now tell.
Chapter 3
Treats of how good companionship played a part in the awakening once
again of her good desires and how the Lord began to give her some light
on the mistake she had been making.
BEGINNING, THEN, TO LIKE the good and holy con-
versation of this nun, I was glad to hear how well she spoke
about God, for she was very discreet and saintly. There was no
time it seems to me when I was not happy to hear about God.
She began to tell me how she arrived at the decision to become
a nun solely by reading what the Gospel says: many are the called
and few the chosen. 1 She told me about the reward the Lord
grants those who give up all for Him. This good company began
to help me get rid of the habits that the bad company had caused
and to turn my mind to the desire for eternal things and for some
freedom from the antagonism that I felt strongly within myself
toward becoming a nun. And if I saw someone with the gift of
tears when she prayed, or other virtues, I greatly envied her.
For so hard was my heart that I could read the entire Passion
without shedding a tear. This pained me.
2. After a year and a half in the convent school I was much
better. I began to recite many vocal prayers and to seek that
all commend me to God so that He might show me the state
in which I was to serve Him. But still I had no desire to be a
nun, and I asked God not to give me this vocation; although
I also feared marriage.
By the end of this period of time in which I stayed there I
62
St. Teresa of Avila
was more favorable to the thought of being a nun, although not
in that house, for there were things I was afterward to under-
stand were most virtuous that seemed to me to be too extreme.
And some of the youngest of the nuns contributed to my think-
ing this, for if all of them had been of one mind I would have
greatly profited. Also, I had a good friend in another convent,2
and that was the reason why if I were to become a nun I would
not have done so unless it were in the convent where she was.
I looked more to pleasing my sensuality and vanity than to what
was good for my soul. These good thoughts about being a nun
sometimes came to me, and then would go away; and I could
not be persuaded to be one.
3. During this time, although I did not neglect my spiritual
improvement, the Lord was more determined to prepare me for
the state that was better for me. He sent me a serious illness
so that I had to return to my father's house. When I got better,
they brought me to visit my sister, who lived in a nearby
hamlet/ for she loved me so deeply that if they had followed
her wish I would have lived permanently with her. And her hus-
band also liked me very much — at least he was very solicitous
for my comfort. But even this I owe to the Lord, for everywhere
I was always loved; and yet, I always served Him very poorly.
4. There lived along the way one of my father's brothers,1 a
widower, very prudent and virtuous whom the Lord was also
preparing for Himself. For in his old age he left all that he had
and became a friar and died, with the result, I believe, that he
enjoys God. He desired that I stay with him for a few days. He
spent his time reading good books in the vernacular, and his
talk was — most often — about God and the vanity of the world. I
He asked me to read these books to him; and, although I did
not like them, I pretended to. For in this matter of pleasing others
I went to extremes, even when it was a burden to me; so much!
so that what in others would be considered virtuous, in me was|
a great fault, for I very often acted without discretion.
Oh, God help me! What means His Majesty was employing
to prepare me for the state in which He desired to make use of
me! For without my desiring it, He forced me to overcome my
repugnance. May He be blessed forever. Amen.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 3
63
5. Although the days I remained there were few, because of
the good company and the strength the words of God — both
heard and read — gave my heart, I began to understand the truth
I knew in childhood (the nothingness of all things, the vanity
of the world, and how it would soon come to an end)5 and to
fear that if I were to die I would go to hell. And although my
will did not completely incline to being a nun, I saw that the
religious life was the best and safest state, and so little by little
I decided to force myself to accept it.
6. I was engaged in this battle within myself for three months,
forcing myself with this reasoning: that the trials and hardships
of being a nun could not be greater than those of purgatory and
that I had really merited hell; that it would not be so great a
thing while alive to live as though in purgatory; and that after-
ward I would go directly to heaven, for that was my desire.
And in this business of choosing a state, it seems to me I was
moved more by servile fear than by love. The devil was sug-
gesting that I would not be able to suffer the trials of religious
life because I was too pampered. I resisted this with the thought
of the trials Christ suffered and that it would be no great thing
if I suffered some for Him; and that He would help me to bear
them — I ought to have had this last thought, I don't remember
if T did. I suffered very many temptations those days.
7. At that time I had, together with a high fever, great faint-
ing spells; for I always had poor health. My fondness for good
books was my salvation. Reading the Letters of St. Jerome6 so en-
couraged me that I decided to tell my father about my decision
to take the habit, for I was so persistent in points of honor that
I don't think I would have turned back for anything once I told
him. So great was his love for me that in no way was I able to
obtain his permission or achieve anything through persons I asked
to intercede for me. The most we could get from him was that
after his death I could do whatever I wanted. I was afraid of
myself and my frailty and of backing down; and since I could
not wait so long, I tried to do it by another way, as I shall now tell.
64
St. Teresa of A vita
Chapter 4
Tells how she was helped by the Lord to force herself to take the habit
and of the many illnesses His Majesty began to send her.
IN THOSE DAYS while I was making these decisions, I per-
suaded one of my brothers to become a friar,1 telling him
about the vanity of the world. We both agreed to go one morn-
ing very early to the convent where that friend of mine was, which
was the convent I liked very much.2 For in this final decision
I was determined to go where I thought I could serve God more,
or where my father desired. For I was already thinking more
of a remedy for my soul than of any easy way of life for myself.
I remember, clearly and truly, that when I left my father's
house I felt that separation so keenly that the feeling will not
be greater, I think, when I die. For it seemed that every bone
in my body was being sundered. Since there was no love of God
to take away my love for my father and relatives, everything
so constrained me that if the Lord hadn't helped me, my reflec-
tions would not have been enough for me to continue on. In
this situation He gave me such courage against myself that I
carried out the task.
2. As soon as I took the habit,5 the Lord gave me an under-
standing of how He favors those who use force with themselves
to serve Him. No one noticed this struggle, but rather they
thought that I was very pleased. Within an hour, He gave me
such gieat happiness at being in the religious state of life that
it never left me up to this day, and God changed the dryness
my soul experienced into the greatest tenderness. All the things
of religious life delighted me, and it is true that sometimes while
sweeping, during the hours I used to spend in self-indulgence
and self- adornment, I realized that I was free of all that and ex-
perienced a new joy which amazed me. And I could not under-
stand where it came from.
When I recall this, there is no task that could be presented
to me, no matter how hard, that I would hesitate to undertake.
For I have already experienced in many ways that if I strive at
the outset with determination to do it, even in this life His Ma-
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 4
65
jesty pays the soul in such ways that only the one who has this
joy understands it. Yet, since the task is for God alone, He may
desire that the soul feel this fear before beginning so that it gain
more merit. And the greater the fear it starts out with, the greater
and more enjoyable will be the reward afterward. I hold this
opinion through experience, as I said, with many very difficult
things. And so I would never counsel anyone — if there were
someone to whom I should have to give counsel — to fail out of
fear to put a good inspiration into practice when it repeatedly
arises. For if one proceeds with detachment for God alone, there
is no reason to fear that the effort will turn out bad; for God
has the power to accomplish all. May He be blessed forever,
amen.
3. Enough already, O my supreme Good and Repose, are
the favors You have bestowed on me in bringing me by Your
mercy and greatness through so many roundabout ways to so
secure a state and to a house where there are many servants of
God I might imitate so as to go on increasing in Your service!
I don't know how I am going to continue here when I remember
the kind of profession I made4 and the great resolve and hap-
piness with which I made it and the espousal that I entered into
with You. I cannot speak of this without tears; and were they
tears of blood and were they to break my heart, the sentiment
would not make up for the way I offended You afterward.
It seems to me now I was right in not wanting so great a dignity
since I was going to make such bad use of it. But You, my Lord,
desired to be the offended one — for almost twenty years, in which
1 used this favor badly — so that I might become better. It seems,
my God, that I did nothing but promise not to keep a thing of
what I promised You; although that was not then my intention.
But I see that afterward my deeds were such (for I don't know
what intention I had) that it may be more clearly seen who You
are, my Spouse, and who I am. For it is true, certainly, that
many times the feeling of my great faults is tempered by the hap-
piness experienced in the thought that the multitude of Your
mercies may be known.
4. In whom, Lord, can your mercies shine as they do in me
who have so darkened with my evil deeds the wonderful favors
66
St. Teresa of Avila
You began to grant me? Woe is me, my Creator, for if I desire
to make an excuse, I find none! Nor is anyone to be blamed
but myself. For if I would have paid back something of the love
You began to show me, I should not have been able to employ
it in anyone but You; and with that all would have been
remedied. Since I did not merit this or have such good fortune,
may Your mercy, Lord, help me now.
5. The change in food and life-style did injury to my health;
and although my happiness was great, this was not enough. My
fainting spells began to increase, and I experienced such heart
pains that this frightened any who witnessed them; and there
were many other illnesses all together. And so I passed the first
year with very poor health, although I don't think I offended
God much in that year. Since the sickness was so serious that
I always nearly lost consciousness, and sometimes lost it com-
pletely, my father was painstaking in looking for a remedy. Since
the doctors there had none to offer, he sought to bring me to
a place very famous for the cure of other sicknesses; ' and also
mine they thought could be cured. This friend I mentioned who
was in the convent accompanied me, for she was an older per-
son.6 In the convent where I was a nun, there was no vow of
enclosure.
6. I remained in that place almost a year, and for three of
those months suffering such severe torment from the harsh cures
they used on me that I don't know how I was able to endure
them. And, finally, even though I endured them, my bodily
make-up could not, as I shall tell.7 The cure was supposed to
begin at the beginning of the summer, and I went at the begin-
ning of the winter. During that interval I stayed, waiting for
the month of April, at my sister's house, which I mentioned,8
which was in a hamlet nearby; and I didn't have to be coming
and going.
7. When I was on the way, that uncle of mine I mentioned4
who lived along the road gave me a book. It is called The Third
Spiritual Alphabet™ and endeavors to teach the prayer of recollec-
tion. And although during this first year I read good books (for
I no longer desired to make use of the others, because I
understood the harm they did me), I did not know how to pro-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 4
67
ceed in prayer or how to be recollected. And so I was very hap-
py with this book and resolved to follow that path11 with all my
strength. Since the Lord had already given me the gift of tears
and I enjoyed reading, I began to take time out for solitude,
to confess frequently, and to follow that path, taking the book
for my master. For during the twenty years after this period of
which I am speaking, I did not find a master, I mean a con-
fessor, who understood me, even though I looked for one. This
hurt me so much that I often turned back and was even com-
pletely lost, for a master would have helped me flee from the
occasions of offending God.
His Majesty began to grant me many favors during these early
stages. I was almost nine months in this solitude, although not
so free from offending God as the book told me I should be;
but I could not be that free, for it seemed to me almost impossi-
ble to be so on guard. I kept from committing mortal sin and
begged God to keep me so always. As for venial sins, I paid lit-
tle attention; and that is what destroyed me. At the end of this
time that I mentioned there, the Lord, as I was saying, began
to favor me by means of this path; so much so that He granted
me the prayer of quiet. And sometimes I arrived at union,
although I did not understand what the one was or the other,
or how much they were to be prized — for I believe it would have
done me great good to have understood this. True, this union
lasted for so short a time that I do not know if it continued for
the space of a Hail Mary. But I was left with some effects so
great that, even though at this time I was no more than twen-
ty,12 it seems I trampled the world under foot. And so I pitied
those who went following after it, even though in permissible
things.
I tried as hard as I could to keep Jesus Christ, our God and
our Lord, present within me, and that was my way of prayer.
If I reflected upon some phrase of His Passion, I represented
Him to myself interiorly. But most of the time I spent reading
good books, which was my whole recreation. For God didn't give
me talent for discursive thought or for a profitable use of the
imagination. In fact, my imagination is so dull that I never suc-
ceeded even to think about and represent in my mind — as hard
68
St. Teresa of Avila
as I tried — the humanity of the Lord. And although, if one
perseveres, one reaches contemplation more quickly along this
way of inability to work discursively with the intellect, this way
is nonetheless most laborious and painful. For if the will is not
occupied and love has nothing present with which to be engaged,
the soul is left as though without support or exercise, and the
solitude and dryness is very troublesome, and the battle with
one's thoughts extraordinary.
8. It is fitting for persons with this tendency to have greater
purity of conscience than those who can work with the intellect.
For anyone, who reflects discursively on what the world is, and
what one owes God, and how much God suffered, and on how
little one serves Him, and what God gives to anyone who loves
Him, deduces doctrine to defend oneself from thoughts, occa-
sions, and dangers. But anyone who cannot benefit from such
a practice will derive more profit from spending a good deal of
time in reading; and this is necessary since by oneself one can-
not get any idea. Discursive reflection is so very arduous for such
persons that if the master insists that they spend a lot of time
in prayer without the help of reading, I say that it will be im-
possible for them to continue for long; and they will do harm
to their health if they persist, for discursive reflection is an ex-
tremely difficult thing to practice. Reading is very helpful for
recollection and serves as a necessary substitute — even though
little may be read — for anyone who is unable to practice mental
prayer.
9. Now it seems to me that it was the Lord's providence that
I not find anyone to instruct me, for, on account of my being
unable as I say to reflect discursively, it would have been im-
possible, I think, to have persevered for the eighteen years I suf-
fered this trial, and in that great dryness. In all those years, ex-
cept for the time after Communion, I never dared to begin prayer
without a book. For my soul was as fearful of being without it
during prayer as it would have been should it have had to battle
with a lot of people. With this recourse, which was like a part-
ner or a shield by which to sustain the blows of my many
thoughts, I went about consoled. For the dryness was not usually
felt, but it was always felt when I was without a book. Then
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 4
69
my soul was thrown into confusion and my thoughts ran wild.
With a book I began to collect them, and my soul was drawn
to recollection. And many times just opening the book was
enough; at other times I read a little, and at others a great deal,
according to the favor the Lord granted me.
It seemed to me at this initial stage I am speaking of that by
having books and the opportunity for solitude there could have
been no danger capable of drawing me away from so much good.
And I think that with God's help it would have been so if I had
had a master or person who would have counseled me about
fleeing occasions at the beginning and made me turn away quick-
ly when coming upon them. And if the devil would have attacked
me openly at that time, I think I would by no means have re-
turned to serious sin. But he was so crafty and I so wretched
that all my resolutions profited me little; although the days in
which I served the Lord profited me a great deal so that I was
able to suffer the terrible illnesses I had with the extraordinary
patience that His Majesty gave me.
10. I often marvelled to think of the great goodness of God,
and my soul delighted in seeing His amazing magnificence and
mercy. May He be blessed by all, for I have seen clearly that
He does not fail to repay, even in his life, every good desire.
As miserable and imperfect as my deeds were, this Lord of mine
improved and perfected them and gave them value, and the evils
and sins He then hid. His Majesty even permitted that the eyes
of those who saw these sins be blinded, and He removed these
sins from their memory. He gilds my faults; the Lord makes
a virtue shine that He himself places in me — almost forcing me
to have it.
11 . I want to return to what they ordered me to write about.
I say that if I were to have to tell in detail about the way the
Lord dealt with me in these early stages, an intellect other than
mine would be necessary to give enough force to the expression
of what I owe Him for these graces and of my terrible ingratitude
and wickedness since I forgot about all of them. May He be
forever blessed who put up with me for so long. Amen.
70
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 5
Continues to treat of her great illnesses, of the patience the Lord gave her,
and of how He draws good out of evil, as is seen in something that hap-
pened to her in that place where she went for a cure.
I FORGOT TO TELL HOW in the novitiate year I suffered
great uneasiness over things that in themselves were of little
consequence. Often times I was accused about things without
my being at fault. I bore this with a great deal of pain and im-
perfection; however, because of the deep happiness I felt in be-
ing a nun, all passed away. Since they saw me seek out solitude
and saw me sometimes weep over my sins, they figured this was
caused by discontent, and said so.
I was fond of everything about religious life, but I didn't like
to suffer anything that seemed to be scorn. I enjoyed being
esteemed. I was meticulous about everything I did. It all seemed
to me virtue, although this will be no reason for pardon, because
I knew in everything what seeking rny own happiness was, and
thus ignorance is no excuse. The only real excuse could be that
the convent was not founded on a strict observance. I, miserable
creature that I was, followed after what I saw wrong and left
aside the good.
2. There was a nun at that time afflicted with the most serious
and painful illness, because there were some holes in her ab-
domen which caused obstructions in such a way that she had
to eject through them what she ate. She soon died from this.
I observed that all feared that affliction. As for myself, I envied
her patience. I asked God that, dealing with me in like man-
ner, He would give me the illnesses by which He would be served.
It seemed to me that I feared nothing, for I was so set on gain-
ing eternal goods that I determined to gain them by any means
whatever. And I am amazed because I had not yet in my opinion
any love of God as I did afterward, it seems to me, when I began
to practice prayer. But I had the light that made everything com-
ing to an end seem of little value to me, and it made those goods
that can be gained by the love of God seem of great value since
they are eternal.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 5
71
So well did His Majesty hear my prayer that within two years
I was so sick that, although this sickness was not the same as
the nun's, I don't think it was any less painful or laborious dur-
ing the three year period that it lasted, as I shall now tell.
3. When the time came for the cure to begin, for I had been
waiting at ray sister's house, I was brought there1 with much
solicitude for my comfort by my father and sister, and my friend,
the nun,- who had come with me, for she loved me very dear-
ly. At this point the devil began to upset my soul, although God
drew out very much good from this. There was a cleric of ex-
cellent intelligence and social status who lived in that place where
I went to be cured. He was learned, although not greatly so.
I began to confess to him, for 1 was always fond of learning.
Half-learned confessors have done my soul great harm when I
have been unable to find a confessor with as much learning as
I like. I have come to see by experience that it is better, if they
are virtuous and observant of holy customs, that they have lit-
tle learning. For then they do not trust themselves without ask-
ing someone who knows, nor do I trust them; and a truly learned
man has never misguided me. Those others certainly could not
have wanted to mislead me, but they didn't know any better.
I thought that they really knew and that I was obliged to no more
than to believe them, especially since what they told me was
liberal and permissive. If it had been rigid, I am so wretched
that I would have sought out others. What was venial sin they
said was no sin at all, and what was serious mortal sin they said
was venial. This did me so much harm that it should not sur-
prise anyone that I speak of it here in order to warn others against
so great an evil. I see clearly that in God's eyes there is no ex-
cuse for me, for that the things by their nature were wrong should
have been enough for me to have been on guard against them.
It was on account of my sins, I believe, that God permitted these
confessors to be mistaken themselves and to misguide me. And
I misled many others by telling them what these confessors told
me.
I went on in this blindness for I believe more than seventeen
years until a Dominican Father, a very learned man,1
enlightened me about many things. And the Jesuit Fathers made
72
St. Teresa of Avila
me fear everything so much, by showing me how wrong those
theories were, as I shall tell later.
4. When I began then to confess with this cleric4 I men-
tioned, it happened that he became extremely fond of me; for
at that time even after I became a nun I had little to confess
compared to what I had later on. His affection for me was not
bad; but since it was too great, it came to no good. He had
learned from me that I was determined not to do anything grave
against God for any reason, and he also assured me of the same;
and so we conversed a great deal. But I was so fascinated with
God at that time that what pleased me most was to speak of the
things of God. And since I was so young, it threw him into con-
fusion to observe this; and by reason of the strong love he had
for me, he began to explain to me about his bad moral state.
This was no small matter, because for about seven years he had
been living in a dangerous state on account of his affection and
dealings with a woman in that same place; and, despite this,
he was saying Mass. The association was so public that he had
lost his honor and reputation, and no one dared to admonish
him about this. To me it was a great pity for I loved him deep-
ly. I was so frivolous and blind that it seemed to me a virtue
to be grateful and loyal to anyone who loved me. Damned be
such loyalty that goes against the law of God! This is the kind
of nonsense that goes on in the world, which makes no sense
to me: that we consider it a virtue not to break with a friend-
ship, even if the latter go against God, whereas we are indebted
to God for all the good that is done to us. Oh blindness of the
world! You would have been served, Lord, if I had been most
ungrateful to all that world and not the least bit ungrateful to
You! But it has been just the reverse because of my sins.
5. I endeavored to get more information from other persons
in his household. I learned more about his bad moral state and
saw that the poor man was not so much at fault. For the unfor-
tunate woman had put some charms in a little copper idol she
asked him to wear around his neck out of love for her, and no
one was influential enough to be able to take this away from him.
I do not believe with certainty that it is true that charms have
this power. But I will mention this that I have seen so as to ad-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 5
73
vise men to be on their guard with women who desire to carry
on in this way. Men should believe that since these women have
lost their shame before God (for women are obliged to modesty
more than men), they can be trusted in nothing; for they will
stop at nothing so as to hold on to this friendship and passion
the devil has placed in them. Even though I have been so
wretched, I have never fallen into anything of this sort, nor have
I ever tried to do evil; nor, even if I could have, would I ever
have desired to force anyone to love me, for the Lord has pro-
tected me from this. But if He should have let me, I would have
done the evil that in everything else- 1 did, for there is nothing
trustworthy in me.
6. Once I knew about this charm, I began to show him more
love. My intention was good; the deed bad. For in order to do
good, no matter how great, one should not commit the slightest
wrong. I used to speak with him very often about God. This
must have profited him, although I rather believe that it
prompted him to love me greatly. For in order to please me,
he finally gave me the little idol, which I then threw in a river.
Once he got rid of this, he began — like someone awaking from
a deep sleep — to recall everything he had done during those years.
And being frightened about himself and grieving over his bad
moral state, he at last began to abhor the woman. Our Lady
must have helped him greatly, for he was most devoted to her
Immaculate Conception; and he celebrated this feast with great
solemnity. Finally, he stopped seeing this woman entirely, and
he never tired of thanking God for having given him light.
Exactly one year from the first day I met him, he died. He
was very devoted to the service of God, for I never thought that
the great affection he bore me was wrong, although it could have
been more pure. But there were also occasions on which, if we
had not remaind very much in God's presence, there would have
been more serious offenses. As I said,5 once I understood a
thing to be a mortal sin, I then avoided it; and it seems that
his observing this in me helped him to love me. For I believe
that all men must be more friendly toward women who they see
are inclined toward virtue. And this is the means whereby women
ought to gain more of what they are seeking from men, as I shall
74
St. Teresa of Avila
say later. I am certain that he is on the path of salvation. He
died a very good death and completely detached from that oc-
casion. It seems the Lord desired that by these means he would
be saved.
7. With the severest afflictions, I spent three months in that
place, for the cure was too harsh for my constitution. After two
months, because of the potent medicines, my life was almost at
an end. The severity of the heart pains, which I went to have
cured, was more acute. For sometimes it seemed that sharp teeth
were biting into me, so much so that it was feared I had rabies.
With the continuous fever and the great lack of strength (for
because of nausea I wasn't able to eat anything, only drink), I
was so shrivelled and wasted away (because for almost a month
they gave me a daily purge) that my nerves began to shrink caus-
ing such unbearable pains that I found no rest either by day or
by night — a very deep sadness.
8. Seeing such poor results, my father brought me back to
where doctors could come to see me. They all gave up hope for
me, for they said that on top of all this sickness, I was also tuber-
cular. I cared little about this diagnosis. The pains were what
exhausted me, for they were like one continuous entity
throughout my whole body, from head to foot. Pain of the nerves
is unbearable, as doctors affirm, and since my nerves were all
shrunken, certainly it was a bitter torment. How many merits
could I have gained, were it not for my own fault!
I remained in this excruciating state no more than three
months, for it seemed impossible to be able to suffer so many
ills together. Now I am amazed; and I consider the patience His
Majesty gave me a great favor from the Lord, for this patience
was clearly seen to come from Him. It greatly profited me to
have read the story of Job in St. Gregory's Morals. b For it
seems the Lord prepared me by this means, together with my
having begun to experience prayer, so that I could be able to
bear the suffering with so much conformity to His will. All my
conversations were with Him. I kept these words of Job very
habitually in my mind and recited them: Since we receive good things
from the hand of the Lord, why do we not suffer the evil things?7 This
it seems gave me strength.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 5
75
9. Then the feast of our Lady in August came. The torment
had been going on since April, but it was worse during the lat-
ter three months. I hastened to go to confession, for I always
liked to confess frequently. They thought I was afraid of dying,
and so that I would not become troubled my father would not
allow me to confess. Oh, love, too excessive, springing from flesh
and blood; even though from so Catholic and prudent a father
(for he was every bit of this, and his action did not arise from
ignorance), it could have done me great harm! That night I suf-
fered a paroxysm in which I remained for four days,8 or a lit-
tle less, without any feeling. At this time they gave me the sacra-
ment of the anointing of the sick, and from hour to hour or mo-
ment to moment they thought I was going to die; they did nothing
but recite the Creed to me, as if I were able to understand them.
At times they were so certain I was dead that afterward I even
found the wax on my eyes/'
10. The sorrow my father felt for not having let me confess
was great — many outcries and prayers to God. Blessed be He
who desired to hear them! For after the grave in my convent
was open for a day and a half awaiting arrival of the body, and
the funeral rites were already celebrated at a monastery of our
friars outside the city, the Lord allowed me to return to con-
sciousness. Immediately I desired to confess. I received Com-
munion with many tears, though it seems to me these tears were
not caused by sorrow for having offended God, which would
have been sufficient for salvation, but for the mistake I made
on account of those who told me certain things were not mortal
sins, which I afterward clearly saw were. The pains that remained
were unsupportable — the contrition imperfect, although the con-
fession was integral, including, in my opinion, everything I
understood to have been an offense against God. For among
other favors His Majesty has given me since my first Commu-
nion, there is this one: that I never fail to confess what I think
is a sin even though venial. But without a doubt it seems to me
that my salvation would have been in jeopardy if I should have
then died since on the one hand my confessors were so poorly
educated and on the other hand I was wretched, and for many
other reasons.
76
St. Teresa of Avila
11. Truly and certainly it seems to me that I am so startled
in arriving at this part of my life and in seeing how apparently
the Lord raised me from the dead that I am almost trembling
within myself. I think it was good, O my soul, that you beheld
the danger from which the Lord delivered you. And if out of
love you do not give up offending Him, may you do so out of
fear lest on any other of a thousand occasions He might let you
die in a more dangerous state. I don't believe I'm adding much
by saying "any other of a thousand," although I may be scolded
by the one who commanded me to be moderate in telling about
my sins; and they are being really beautified.
For the love of God I beg him not to cut out anything having
to do with my faults, for this is where the magnificence of God
and what He endures from a soul is seen more clearly. May He
be blessed forever. May it please His Majesty that I die rather
than ever cease to love Him.
Chapter 6
Treats of how much she owes the Lord for having given her conformity
to His will in the midst of such severe trials, and how she took the glorious
St. Joseph for her mediator and advocate, and of the great good he did her.
SUCH WERE THESE FOUR DAYS' I spent in this
paroxysm that only the Lord can know the unbearable
torments I suffered within myself: my tongue, bitten to pieces;
my throat unable to let even water pass down — from not having
swallowed anything and from the great weakness that oppressed
me; everything seeming to be disjointed; the greatest confusion
in my head; all shrivelled and drawn together in a ball. The result
of the torments of those four days was that I was unable to stir,
not an arm or a foot, neither hand nor head, unable to move
as though I were dead; only one finger on my right hand it seems
I was able to move. Since there was no way of touching me,
because I was so bruised that I couldn't endure it, they moved
me about in a sheet, one of the nuns at one end and another
at the other.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 6
11
This lasted until Easter. My only relief was that if they did
not touch me, the pains often stopped, and on account of this
bit of rest, I considered myself already well; for I was fearful
I would lose patience. And so I was very happy to be without
such sharp and continuous pains, although the quartan fevers2
that remained with their accompanying severe chills were so
harsh that I found them unbearable; the lack of appetite was
very great.
2. Right away I was in such a hurry to return to the convent
that I made them bring me back as I was.5 The one they
expected to be brought back dead they received alive; but the
body, worse than dead, was a pity to behold. The state of my
weakness was indescribable, for I was then only bones. I may
add that the above condition lasted for more than eight months.
The paralysis, although it gradually got better, lasted almost three
years.4 When I began to go about on hands and knees, I
praised God. With great conformity to His will, I suffered all
those years and — if not in these early sufferings — with great
gladness. For it was all a trifle to me in comparison with the
pains and torments suffered in the beginning. I was very
conformed to the will of God, and I would have remained so
even had He left me in this condition forever. It seems to me
that all my longing to be cured was that I might remain alone
in prayer as was my custom, for in the infirmary the suitable
means for this was lacking. I went to confession very often. I
spoke much about God in such a way that I was edifying to
everyone, and they were amazed at the patience the Lord gave
me. For if this patience had not come from the hand of His
Majesty, it seemed it would have been impossible to suffer so
much with so great contentment.
3. It was a great thing that He had granted me the favor in
prayer which He did, for this made me understand the meaning
of love for Him. For within that short time I saw some new
virtues arise in me (although they were not strong since they
were insufficient to sustain me in righteousness): not speaking
evil of anyone, no matter how slight, but ordinarily avoiding
all fault-finding. I was very much aware that I should not desire
to say of another person what I would not want them to say of
78
St. Teresa of Avila
me. I was extremely cautious about this in the occasions there
were — although not so perfectly that I did not sometimes fail
a little when the occasions were very great; but ordinarily I was
faithful. And thus I so persuaded those who associated with me
that they acquired the habit. It became generally known that
where I was present there was no talking behind anyone's back,
and this was the opinion of my friends, relatives, and all those
I had taught. Nevertheless in other matters I will have to render
an account to God for the bad example I gave them.
May His Majesty be pleased to pardon me, for I have been
the cause of many evils but not with the intention of doing all
the harm that was afterward the outcome of my deeds.
4. There remained in me the desire for solitude and a fond-
ness for conversing and speaking about God. If I found someone
with whom to speak thus, it gave me more happiness and recrea-
tion than all the suave — coarse, to use a better word — conver-
sation of the world. I received Communion and confessed much
more often and desired to do so. I liked to read good books very
much, and felt the deepest repentance after having offended God.
For often, I recall, I did not dare pray, because I feared as I
would a severe punishment the very bitter sorrow I would have
to feel at having offended God. This went on increasing after-
ward to such an extreme that I don't know what to compare the
torment to. This feeling did not in any way spring from fear,
but since I remembered the favors the Lord granted me in prayer
and the many things I owed Him, and I saw how badly I was
repaying Him, I could not endure it. And seeing my lack of
amendment, I became extremely vexed about the many tears
I was shedding over my faults, for neither were my resolutions
nor were the hardships I suffered enough to keep me from plac-
ing myself in the occasion and falling again. They seemed
fraudulent tears to me, and afterward the fault appeared to be
greater, because I saw the wonderful favor the Lord bestowed
in giving me these tears and such deep repentance. I endeavored
to go to confession right away and, in my opinion, I did what
I could to return to God's grace.
The whole trouble lay in not getting at the root of the occa-
sions and with my confessors who were of little help. For had
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 6
79
they told me of the danger I was in and that I had the obliga-
tion to avoid those friendships, without a doubt I believe I would
have remedied the matter. For in no way would I have endured
being in mortal sin even for a day should I have understood that
to be the case.
All these signs of fear of God came to me during prayer; and
the greatest sign was that they were enveloped in love, for punish-
ment did not enter my mind. This carefulness of conscience with
respect to mortal sins lasted all during my illness. Oh, God help
me, how I desired my health so as to serve Him more, and this
health was the cause of all my harm.
5. Since I saw myself so crippled and still so young and how
helpless the doctors of earth were, I resolved to go for aid to the
doctors of heaven that they might cure me. For I still desired
my health, even though I bore the illness with much happiness.
And I thought sometimes that if in being well I were to be con-
demned, I would be better off this way. But nonetheless I thought
I would be able to serve God much better if I were in good health.
This is our mistake: not abandoning ourselves entirely to what
the Lord does, for He knows best what is fitting for us.
6. I began to attend Mass and to recite devotional prayers
that were highly approved, for I never cared for other devotions
that some people practice, especially women, with those
ceremonies, intolerable to me, but to them an aid for their devo-
tion. Afterward I came to understand that they were not suitable
devotions but superstitious ones. I took for my advocate and lord
the glorious St. Joseph and earnestly recommended myself to
him. I saw clearly that as in this need so in other greater ones
concerning honor and loss of soul this father and lord of mine
came to my rescue in better ways than I knew how to ask for.
I don't recall up to this day ever having petitioned him for
anything that he failed to grant. It is an amazing thing the great
many favors God has granted me through the mediation of this
blessed saint, the dangers I was freed from both of body and
soul. For with other saints it seems the Lord has given them grace
to be of help in one need, whereas with this glorious saint I have
experience that he helps in all our needs and that the Lord wants
us to understand that just as He was subject to St. Joseph on
80
St. Teresa of Avila
earth — for since bearing the title of father, being the Lord's tutor,
Joseph could give the Child command — so in heaven God does
whatever he commands.
This has been observed by other persons, also through
experience, whom I have told to recommend themselves to him.
And so there are many who in experiencing this truth renew
their devotion to him.
7. I endeavored to celebrate his feast with all the solemnity
possible. But, in my desire to do so very carefully and well, I
was filled more with vanity than with spirituality, though my
intention was good. This was a fault I had, that if the Lord gave
me the grace to do something good, what I did was filled with
imperfections and many failures. In wrongdoing, curiosity, and
vanity, I was especially skillful and diligent. May the Lord pardon
me.
8. Because of my impressive experience of the goods this
glorious saint obtains from God, I had the desire to persuade
all to be devoted to him. I have not known anyone truly devoted
to him and rendering him special services who has not advanced
more in virtue. For in a powerful way he benefits souls who
recommend themselves to him. It seems to me that for some years
now I have asked him for something on his feast day, and my
petition is always granted. If the request is somewhat out of line,
he rectifies it for my greater good. If I were a person who had
authority for writing I would willingly and in a very detailed
way enlarge upon what I am saying about the favors this glorious
saint did for me and for others. But so as to do no more than
what they gave me the command to do, I will be briefer in many
matters than I desire, more extensive in others than necessary — in
sum, like one who has little discretion in anything that is good.
I only ask for the love of God those who do not believe me to
try, and they will see through experience the great good that
comes from recommending oneself to this glorious patriarch and
being devoted to him. Especially persons of prayer should always
be attached to him. For I don't know how one can think about
the Queen of Angels and about when she went through so much
with the Infant Jesus without giving thanks to St. Joseph for the
good assistance he then provided them both with. Those who
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 6
81
cannot find a master to teach them prayer should take this
glorious saint for their master, and they will not go astray. Please
God T may not have erred in being so bold as to speak about
him, for although publicly I am devoted to him, I have always
been lacking in serving and imitating him. For he being who
he is brought it about that I could rise and walk and not be
crippled; and I being who I am used this favor badly.
9. Who would have claimed I would so quickly fall after so
many gifts from God, after His Majesty had begun to give me
virtues which themselves roused me to His service, after I had
seen myself almost dead and in such serious danger of being con-
demned, after having been raised up body and soul so that all
who saw me were amazed to see me alive! What is this, my Lord!
Must we live in so dangerous a life? For in writing this it seems
to me that with Your favor and through Your mercy I can say
what St. Paul said, although not with such perfection, that I no
longer live but that You, my Creator, live in me.' The reason
is that for some years now, insofar as I can understand, You
have held me by Your hand, and 1 see in myself desires and
resolutions — and in some way have received proof of them
through experience with many things during these years — not
to do anything against Your will no matter how small; although
I must offend Your Majesty in many ways without knowing it.
And also it seems to me that no task to be done for love of You
could be given me without my accomplishing it with great
determination. And in some tasks You have helped me carry
them out. I do not desire the world or any part of it; nor, it seems,
does anything make me happy unless it comes from You, and
the rest seems to me a heavy cross.
I could well be mistaken, and so it could be that I do not possess
what I have spoken of, but You see well, my Lord, that insofar
as I can understand I am not lying. And I fear — and with every
reason — lest You abandon me. For now I know what happens
to my strength and little virtue if You are not always giving and
helping me so that I do not forsake You. May it please Your
Majesty that even now while all this comes to mind I may not
be separated from You.
I don't know why we desire to live since everything is so uncer-
82
St. Teresa of Avila
tain. It seemed to me impossible, my Lord, to abandon You
so completely. And since I did forsake You so many times, I
cannot but fear. For when You withdrew a little from me, I fell
to the ground. May You be blessed forever! Although I aban-
doned You, You did not abandon me so completely as not to
turn to raise me up by always holding our Your hand to me.
And often times, Lord, I did not want it; nor did I desire to
understand how often You called me again, as I shall now tell.
Chapter 7
Treats of the ways by which she lost the favors the Lord had granted her
and of how distracted a life she began to live. Speaks of the harm that
results when monasteries of nuns are not strictly enclosed.
SINCE I THUS BEGAN to go from pastime to pastime, from
vanity to vanity, from one occasion to another, to place
myself so often in very serious occasions, and to allow my soul
to become so spoiled by many vanities, I was then ashamed to
return to the search for God by means of a friendship as special
as is that found in the intimate exchange of prayer. And I was
aided in this vanity by the fact that as the sins increased I began
to lose joy in virtuous things and my taste for them. I saw very
clearly, my Lord, that these were failing me because I was failing
You.1
This was the most terrible trick the devil could play on me,
under the guise of humility: that seeing myself so corrupted I
began to fear the practice of prayer. It seemed to me that, since
in being wicked I was among the worst, it was better to go the
way of the many, to recite what I was obliged to vocally and
not to practice mental prayer and so much intimacy with God,
for I merited to be with the devils. And it seemed to me that
I was deceiving people since exteriorly I kept up such good
appearances. Thus the convent where I resided was not at fault.
For in my craftiness I strove to be held in esteem, although I
did not advertently feign Christianity. In this matter of hypocrisy
and vainglory, praise God, I don't recall ever having offended
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 7
83
Him knowingly, because at the first urgings I felt so much sorrow
that the devil ended up with a loss and I with a gain. And so
in this matter he never tempted me very much. Perhaps if God
had permitted me to be tempted in this regard as severely as
in other things, I would also have fallen. But His Majesty up
till now has preserved me in this. May He be blessed forever!
Rather, I grieved very much over being held in esteem since
I knew what was down deep in my heart.
2. The fact that they did not consider me so bad was due to
their seeing me so young and in the midst of so many occasions,
often withdrawing into solitude to pray and read, speaking much
about God, fond of having His image painted and put up in
many places and of having an oratory and seeking in it the things
that promote devotion, not engaging in fault-finding or other
things of this sort that have the appearance of virtue. Joined to
this was my appreciation — though through vanity — for the things
that are usually esteemed in the world. As a result they gave
me as much and even more freedom than they gave to the older
ones. And they had great confidence in me. For being in a
monastery I don't think I could have been able even to speak
of such matters as taking the liberty to do something without
permission, such as giving messages through holes in the walls,
or at night; nor did I ever do so, for the Lord held me by His
hand. It seemed to me — for I considered many things knowingly
and purposely — that to risk the reputation of so many who were
so good, because of my own wretchedness, would have been very
wrong; as if the other things I was doing were good! Still, the
evil done was not so knowingly done.
3. That's why it seems to me it did me great harm not to be
in an enclosed monastery. For the freedom that those who were
good were able to enjoy in good conscience (for they were not
obligated to more since they did not make the vow of enclosure)
would have certainly brought me, who am so wretched, to hell,
if the Lord with so many remedies and means and with His very
special favors had not drawn me out of this danger. Thus it seems
to me that a monastery of women that allows freedom is a
tremendous danger. And, what is more, it seems that for those
who desire to live miserable lives it is a step on the way toward
84
St. Teresa of Avila
hell rather than a remedy for their weaknesses.
1 am not saying this of my own monastery2 but of others I
have known and seen. For in mine there are so many who serve
the Lord authentically and with great perfection that His
Majesty, being so good, cannot keep from favoring them. This
monastery is not one of those very open ones, but in it is observed
a truly religious way of life.
4. I say that it makes me very sad that the Lord needs to make
special appeals — not once but many times — in order that one
be saved. Since worldly honors and recreations are so exalted
and one's obligations so poorly understood, may it please God
that people do not take for virtue what is sin, as I often did.
And there is so much difficulty in getting to know one's
obligations that the Lord really needs to intervene in the matter.
If parents would take my advice since they do not want to
place their daughters in an environment where the path to
salvation is more dangerous than in the world, they would
consider what pertains to their daughters' reputation. They
should prefer a marriage of much lower status for their daughters
to placing them in monasteries like these, unless their daughters
are very inclined to virtue — and please God the monastery will
then be beneficial. Otherwise parents should keep them at home.
For if a daughter desires to be bad, she will not be able to conceal
it at home for more than a short time, but in the monastery she
can for a long time; and finally the Lord reveals it. She does
harm not only to herself but to all. And at times the poor thing
is not at fault, because she follows after what she finds. It is a
pity that many who desire to withdraw from the world, thinking
they are going to serve the Lord and flee worldly dangers, find
themselves in ten worlds joined together without knowing how
to protect themselves or remedy the situation. For youthfulness,
sensuality, and the devil incite them and make them prone to
follow after things that are of the very world. And yet, these are
accepted as good, so to speak. It seems to me that somewhat
like the unfortunate heretics these religious desire to be blind
and to make others think that their path is a good one, and they
believe it to be so without believing it, for within themselves
dwells one who informs them that it is bad.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 7
85
5. Oh, tremendous evil! Tremendous evil of religious — I am
not speaking now more of women than of men — where religious
life is not observed, where in a monastery there are two paths
(one of virtue and religious life, and the other of a lack of religious
life) and almost all walk in like manner; rather, in place of like
manner I should say evil manner. For on account of our sins
the greater number take the more imperfect path. And since there
are more of them, it is the more favored path. True religious
life is practiced so little that friars, or nuns, who are indeed about
to follow wholeheartedly their call must fear those of their own
house more than all the devils. And they must be more cautious
and dissimulating in speaking about the friendship they desired
to have with God than in speaking of other friendships and at-
tachments that the devil arranges in monasteries. I don't know
why we are amazed that there are so many evils in the Church
since those who are to be the models from which all might copy
the virtues are so obscurely fashioned that the spirit of the saints
of the past has abandoned the religious communities. May it
please the divine Majesty to remedy this as He sees it to be
necessary, amen.
6. Now then, I engaged in these conversations thinking that
since this was the custom, my soul would not receive the harm
and distraction I afterward understood comes from such com-
panionship. It seemed to me that something as general in many
monasteries as this visiting would not do me any more harm
than it did others who I say were good. I did not consider that
they were much better and that what was a danger for me was
not so much so for others, for I doubted that there was always
some kind of danger — but at least there was some waste of time.
While I was once with a person, the Lord at the outset of our
acquaintance desired to make me understand that those friend-
ships were not proper for me and to counsel me and give me
advice in the midst of such thorough blindness. With great severi-
ty, Christ appeared before me, making me understand what He
regretted about the friendship. I saw Him with the eyes of my
soul more clearly than I could have with the eyes of my body.
And this vision left such an impression on me that, though more
than twenty-six years have gone by, it seems to me it is still pre-
86
St. Teresa of Avila
sent. I was left very frightened and disturbed, and didn't want
to see that person any more.
7. It did me much harm not to know that it was possible to
see in other ways than with the bodily eyes. The devil urged
me on in this ignorance and made me think that any other way
of seeing was impossible and that I had fancied the vision or
that it could have come from the devil and other things of this
sort; although the feeling always remained with me that it was
from God and not a fancy. But since the vision was not to my
liking, I strove to conceal it from myself. Since I did not dare
speak about this with anyone and the devil returned with great
importunity assuring me that it was not wrong to see such a per-
son and that I was not losing my honor but rather that it was
increasing, I returned to the same conversation and also at other
times to other conversations. For many years I took part in this
noxious form of recreation. It did not seem to me — since I was
engaged in it — to be as bad as it was; although sometimes I saw
clearly that it was not good. But no other friendship was as much
a distraction to me as this one of which I am speaking, for I
was extremely fond of it.
8. Once at another time, when with this same person, we saw
coming toward us — and others who were also there saw it —
something that looked like a large toad, moving much more
quickly than toads usually do. In that part where it came from
I cannot understand how there could have been a nasty little
creature like that in the middle of the day. nor had there ever
been one there before. The effect it had on me, it seems to me,
was not without mystery; and neither did I ever forget this. Oh,
the greatness of God! With how much care and pity You were
warning me in every way, and how little it benefited me!
9. There was a nun there,1 a relative of mine, older and a
great servant of God and very religious. She also warned me
sometimes. Not only did I not believe her, but I was annoyed
with her and felt she was scandalized for no reason at alL
I have spoken of this to make known my wickedness and the
great goodness of God and to what extent I merited hell for such
outrageous ingratitude; and also that if the Lord sometime should
ordain and be pleased that a nun read this she might learn a
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 7
87
lesson from me. I beg her for the love of our Lord to flee recrea-
tions like these. May His Majesty be pleased that someone may
be disillusioned by me in the place of the many persons I delud-
ed, telling them that these recreations were not wrong and
reassuring them in the midst of so great a danger. I did this on
account of my blindness, for it was not my desire purposely to
mislead them. And through the bad example I gave them — as
I said4 — I was the cause of many evils, not realising I was do-
ing so much wrong.
10. When I was sick during those first days before I knew how
to take care of myself, I had the greatest desire to help others
improve, a very common temptation of beginners, although in
my case it turned out well. Since I loved my father so much,
I desired for him the good I felt I got out of the practice of prayer.
It seemed to me that in this life there could be no greater good
than the practice of prayer. So in roundabout ways, as much
as I could, I began to strive to get him to pray. I gave him books
for this purpose. Since he had such virtue, as I mentioned/' he
settled into this practice so well that within five or six years — it
seems it was — he was so advanced that I praised the Lord very
much, and this gave me the greatest consolation. Very severe
were the many kinds of trials he had; all of them he suffered
with the deepest conformity to God's will. He came often to see
me, for it consoled him to speak of the things of God.
1 1 . After I had begun to live in such havoc, and without prac-
ticing prayer, and since I saw that he thought I was living as
usual, t could not bear to let him be deceived. For thinking it
was the more humble thing to do, I had gone a year and more
without prayer. And this, as I shall say afterward,6 was the
greatest temptation I had, because on account of this I was
heading just about straight to perdition. For when I practiced
prayer, I offended God one day but then others I turned to
recollection and withdrew more from the occasions.
Since this blessed man came to talk with me about prayer,
it was a bitter thing for me to see him so deceived as to think
I conversed with God as I was accustomed before. And I told
him that I no longer practiced prayer, but didn't give the reason.
I brought up my illnesses as making it impossible for me. For
88
St. Teresa of Avila
though I was cured of that very serious illness, I have always
up till now had illnesses and still have some that are serious
enough and of various sorts, although lately not so severe. In
particular, for twenty years I had vomiting spells every morning
so that I could not eat anything until after noon; sometimes I
had to wait longer. From the time I began to receive Communion
more frequently, I have had to vomit at night before going to
bed. And it is more painful because I have to induce it with a
feather or some other thing, for if I let this go the sickness I feel
becomes very bad. I am almost never, in my opinion, without
many pains, and sometimes very severe ones, especially in the
heart, although the sickness that gripped me almost continually
occurs very seldom. I was cured eight years ago of the harsh
paralysis and other illnesses with fever that I frequently suffered.
All these illnesses now bother me so little that I am often glad,
thinking the Lord is served by something.
12. My father believed that my illnesses were the reason for
my not praying; for he did not lie, and by this time, in accord
with the things I spoke of to him, I shouldn't have lied either.
So that he might believe more easily (for I saw clearly that there
was no excuse for giving up prayer), I told him that I was doing
a great deal by being able to keep up with the choir duties. But
this was not sufficient cause to set aside something for which
bodily strength is not necessary but only love and a habit; and
the Lord always provides the opportunity if we desire. I say
"always" because, although on occasion and also sometimes in
sickness we are impeded from having hours free for solitude,
there is no lack of other time when we have the health for this.
And even in sickness itself and these other occasions the prayer
is genuine when it comes from a soul that loves to offer the
sickness up and accept what is happening and be conformed to
it and to the other thousand things that happen. Prayer is an
exercise of love, and it would be incorrect to think that if there
is no time for solitude there is no prayer at all. With a little care
great blessings can come when because of our labors the Lord
takes from us the time we had set for prayer. And so I have found
these blessings when I have had a good conscience.
13. But my father because of his esteem and love for me be-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 7
89
lieved everything I said; in fact he pitied me. But since he had
already reached so sublime a state, he did not afterward spend
as much time with me but would leave after a brief visit; for
he said it was time lost. Since I wasted time on other vanities,
I cared little about losing time.
He wasn't the only one; I also tried to get some other persons
to practice prayer. Even though I was taking part in these
vanities, when I saw others who were fond of praying, I told
them how to practice meditation and assisted them and gave them
books. For, from the time I began prayer, as I said, I had this
desire that others serve God. It seemed to me that since I no
longer served the Lord as I knew I should, the knowledge His
Majesty had given me would not be lost and that others would
serve Him through me. I say this to make known the terrible
blindness in which I lived, for I was allowing myself to get lost
and striving to save others.
14. At this time my father was seized with an illness that lasted
for some days and from which he died. I went to take care of
him, I who was sicker in soul, steeped in many vanities, than
he was in body; although, during this entire more lax period
of which I am speaking, never so steeped in them — insofar as
I understood — as to be in mortal sin. For, should I have
understood such to be the case, I would have in no way remained
in that condition.
I suffered much hardship during his sickness. I believe I served
him somewhat for the trials he suffered during mine. Although
I was very sick, I forced myself. Since in losing him I was losing
every good and joy, and he was everything to me, I had great
determination not to show him my grief and until he would die
to act as though I were well. When I saw him coming to the
end of his life, it seemed my soul was being wrenched from me,
for I loved him dearly.
15.1 cannot help but praise the Lord when I remember the
death he died and his joy in dying, the counsels he gave us after
receiving extreme unction, his begging us to recommend him
to God and ask mercy for him and always to serve God and reflect
on how all things come to an end. And in tears he told us about
the great sorrow he felt in not having served God, and that he
90
St. Teresa of Avila
would have liked to be a friar; I mean, he would have chosen
one of the strictest orders.
I am very certain that fifteen days before his death the Lord
made it known to him that he was not going to live. For before
this, even though he was sick, he did not think he was going
to die. Afterward, even though he had much improved and the
doctors told him so, he paid no attention to that but gave his
attention to setting his soul in order.
16. His main sickness was a very severe pain in his shoulders
which never left him. Sometimes it hurt him so much he was
in agony. I told him that since he was so devoted to the memory
of when the Lord carried the burden of the cross that His Majesty
thought He would like to make him experience something of
what He suffered with that pain. This comforted my father so
much that it seems to me I never heard him complain again.
For three days his senses were very dull. On the day he died
the Lord restored them so fully that we were amazed and he
was in possession of them until, in the middle of the Creed,
reciting it himself, he died.7 He looked like an angel. This it
seems to me he was, so to speak, in soul and character, for he
preserved his soul very well.
I don't know why I have told this, unless the more to blame
my wicked life after having seen such a death and known such
a life. For in order to resemble in some way a father like this
I should have improved. His confessor — who was a Dominican,
a very learned man8 — said he did not doubt but that my father
had gone straight to heaven. He had been confessor to my father
for some years and praised his purity of conscience.
17. This Dominican Father who was very good and God-
fearing profited me a great deal. For I went to confession to him,
and he took it upon himself with care to do good for my soul
and make me understand the perdition that I was bringing on
myself. He had me receive Communin every fifteen days. And,
little by little, in beginning to talk to him, I discussed my prayer
with him. He told me not to let it go, that it could in no way
do me anything but good. I began to return to it, although not
to give up the occasions of sin; and I never again abandoned it.
I was living an extremely burdensome life, because in prayer
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 7
91
I understood more clearly my faults. On the one hand God was
calling me; on the other hand I was following the world. All the
things of God made me happy; those of the world held me bound.
It seems I desired to harmonize these two contraries — so inimical
to one another — such as are the spiritual life and sensory joys,
pleasures, and pastimes. In prayer I was having great trouble,
for my spirit was not proceeding as lord but as slave. And so
I was not able to shut myself within myself (which was my whole
manner of procedure in prayer); instead, I shut within myself
a thousand vanities.
Thus I passed many years, for now I am surprised how I could
have put up with both and not abandon either the one or the
other. Well do I know that to abandon prayer was no longer
in my hands, for He held me in His, He who desired to give
me greater favors.
18. Oh, help me God, if I should have to tell about the occa-
sions God freed me from in these years and how I returned and
placed myself in them again and of the dangers of losing my
reputation completely from which He liberated me! I was do-
ing deeds that uncovered what I was, and the Lord was cover-
ing my evils and uncovering some little virtue, if I had it, and
making it great in the eyes of others so that they always esteemed
me highly. For although sometimes my vanities leaked out, they
were not recognized since other things that appeared good were
what were noticed.
And the reason was that the Knower of all things already saw
that this was necessary in order that those to whom I would after-
ward speak of His service would give me some credibility, and
in His sovereign largess He looked not at my great sins but at
the desires I often had to serve Him and at the sorrow I felt for
not having the strength in me to put these desires into practice.
19. O Lord of my soul! How can I extol the favors You gave
me during these years! And how at the time when I offended
You most You quickly prepared me with an extraordinary
repentance to taste Your favors and gifts! Indeed, my King, You,
as One who well knew what to me would be most distressing,
chose as a means the most delicate and painful punishment. With
wonderful gifts You punished my sins!
92
St. Teresa of Avila
I do not believe I am speaking nonsense, although it would
be good if I were to lose my senses in turning now again to the
memory of my ingratitude and wickedness.
It was so much more painful, with my temperament, to receive
favors, when I had fallen into serious faults than to receive
punishment. For one of these favors, it seems certain to me,
bewildered and confounded and wearied me more than many
sicknesses joined with many other trials. For the latter, I saw
I merited, and it seemed to me I was paying something for my
sins, although it all amounted to little because they were so many.
But to see myself receiving favors again after paying so badly
for those received is a kind of terrible torment for me. I believe
this is so for all those who have had some knowledge and love
of God, because with noble and virtuous hearts this is so even
in human affairs. Here was the cause of my tears and my
annoyance with myself in being aware of what I felt; I saw myself
to be the type that is ever on the eve of falling, although my
resolutions and desires — for that length of time 1 say — were firm.
20. A great evil it is for a soul to be alone in the midst of so
many dangers. It seems to me that if I should have had someone
to talk all this over with it would have helped me, at least out
of shame, not to fall again since I did not have any shame before
God.
For this reason I would counsel those who practice prayer to
seek, at least in the beginning, friendship and association with
other persons having the same interest. This is something most
important even though the association may be only to help one
another with prayers. The more of these prayers there are, the
greater the gain. Since friends are sought out for conversations
and human attachments, even though these latter may not be
good, so as to relax and better enjoy telling about vain pleasures,
I don't know why it is not permitted that persons beginning truly
to love and to serve God talk with some others about their joys
and trials, which all who practice prayer undergo. For if the
friendship they desired to have with His Majesty is authentic,
there is no reason to fear vainglory. And when these persons
overcome vainglory in its first stirrings, they come away with
merit. I believe that they who discuss these joys and trials for
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 7
93
the sake of this friendship with God will benefit themselves and
those who hear them, and they will come away instructed; even
without understanding how, they will have instructed their
friends.
21 . Those who experience vainglory in speaking of these things
will also experience it in attending Mass with devotion if they
are seen and in doing other things they must do if they want
to be Christian; and these deeds they are not allowed to aban-
don for fear of vainglory.
Since this spiritual friendship is so extremely important for
souls not yet fortified in virtue — since they have so many op-
ponents and friends to incite them to evil — I don't know how
to urge it enough. It seems to me the devil has used the follow-
ing artifice as something very important to him: those who tru-
ly want to love and to please God are as hidden as other
unrighteous persons are incited to make their evil known so that
evil becomes so customary it seems socially justified; and the
offenses committed against God in this matter are published.
22. I don't know if I am speaking foolish words. If I am, may
your Reverence'' tear them up; and if they are not, help my
stupidity by adding here a great deal. There is so much slug-
gishness in matters having to do with the service of God that
it is necessary for those who serve Him to become shields for
one another that they might advance. For it is considered good
to walk in the vanities and pleasures of the world, and those who
don't, are unnoticed. If any begin to give themselves to God,
there are so many to criticize them that they need to seek com-
panionship to defend themselves until they are so strong that
it is no longer a burden for them to suffer this criticism. And
if they don't seek this companionship, they will find themselves
in much difficulty.
It seems to me this must be why some saints used to go to
the deserts. And it is a kind of humility not to trust in oneself
but to believe that through those with whom one converses God
will help and increase charity while it is being shared. And there
are a thousand graces I would not dare speak of if I did not have
powerful experience of the benefit that comes from this sharing.
It is true that I am the weakest and most wicked of all human
94
St. Teresa of Avila
beings. But I believe they will not be lost who, humbling
themselves, even though they be strong, do not believe by
themselves but believe this one who has experience. Of myself
I know and say that if the Lord had not revealed this truth to
me and given me the means by which I could ordinarily talk
with persons who practiced prayer, I, falling and rising, would
have ended by throwing myself straight into hell. For in falling
I had many friends to help me; but in rising I found myself so
alone that I am now amazed I did not remain ever fallen. And
I praise the mercy of God, for it was He alone who gave me
His hand. May He be blessed forever and ever. Amen.
Chapter S
Treats of the great good it did her not to turn from prayer completely and
thereby lose her soul, and of what an excellent means prayer is for winning
back what is lost. Urges all to this practice. Tells how it is so highly
profitable and that even though one may abandon it again, there is a great
value in giving some time to so great a good.
THOUGH I SEE CLEARLY that it will be to no one's lik-
ing to see something so wretched, not without cause have
I dwelt at such length on this period of my life. For I certainly
wish that those who read this would abhor me when they see
a soul so pertinacious and ungrateful toward Him who bestowed
on her so many favors. And would that I had the permission
to tell of the many times I failed God during this period by not
seeking support from this strong pillar of prayer.
2. I voyaged on this tempestuous sea for almost twenty years
with these fallings and risings and this evil — since I fell
again — and in a life so beneath perfection that I paid almost no
attention to venial sins. And mortal sins, although I feared them,
I did not fear them as I should have since I did not turn away
from the dangers. I should say that it is one of the most painful
lives, I think, that one can imagine; for neither did I enjoy God
nor did I find happiness in the world. When I was experiencing
the enjoyments of the world, I felt sorrow when I recalled what
XjQweJ_lp^3k><^ with God, my attachments to the
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 8
95
world disturbed me. This is a war so troublesome that I don't
know how I was able to suffer it even a month, much less for
so many years.
However, I see clearly the great mercy the Lord bestowed on
me; for though I continued to associate with the world, I had
the courage to practice prayer. I say courage, for I do not know
what would require greater courage among all the things there
are in the world than to betray the king and know that he knows
it and yet never leave His presence. Though we are always in
the presence of God, it seems to me the manner is different with
those who practice prayer, for they are aware that He is looking
at them. With others, it can happen that several days pass without
their recalling that God sees them.
3. True, during these years there were many months, and
I believe sometimes a year, that I kept from offending the Lord.
And I put forth some effort, and at times a great deal of it, not
to offend Him. Because all that I write is said with complete
truthfulness, I shall treat of this effort now. But I remember lit-
tle of these good days, and so they must have been few; and
a lot about the bad ones. Few days passed without my devoting
long periods to prayer, unless I was very sick or very busy. When
I was sick, I felt better when with God. I tried to get persons
who talked with me to practice prayer, and I besought the Lord
for them. I frequently spoke of Him.
So, save for the year I mentioned, for more than eighteen of
the twenty-eight years since I began prayer, I suffered this bat-
tle and conflict between friendship with God and friendship with
the world. During the remaining years of which I have yet to
speak, the cause of the war changed, although the war was not
a small one. But since it was, in my opinion, for the service of
God and with knowledge of the vanity that the world is,
everything went smoothly, as I shall say afterward.
4. I have recounted all this at length, as I already mention-
ed,1 so that the mercy of God and my ingratitude might be
seen; also, in order that one might understand the great good
God does for a soul that willingly disposes itself for the practice
of prayer, even though it is not as disposed as is necessary. I
recount this also that one may understand how if the soul
96
St. Teresa of Avila
perseveres in prayer, in the midst of the sins, temptations, and
failures of a thousand kinds that the devil places in its path, in
the end, I hold as certain, the Lord will draw it forth to the har-
bor of salvation as — now it seems — He did for me. May it please
His Majesty that I do not get lost again.
5. The good that one who practices prayer possesses has been
written of by many saints and holy persons; I mean mental
prayer — glory be to God for this good! If it were not for this
good, even though I have little humility, I should not be so proud
as to dare speak about mental prayer.
I can speak of what I have experience of. It is that in spite
of any wrong they who practice prayer do, they must not aban-
don prayer since it is the means by which they can remedy the
situation; and to remedy it without prayer would be much more
difficult. May the devil not tempt them, the way he did me, to
give up prayer out of humility. May those persons believe that
God's words cannot fail. For if we are truly repentant and resolve
not to offend God, He will return to the former friendship and
bestow the favors He previously did, and sometimes more if the
repentance merits it.
Whoever has not begun the practice of prayer, I beg for the
love of the Lord not to go without so great a good. There is
nothing here to fear but only something to desire. Even if there
be no great progress, or much effort in reaching such perfec-
tion as to deserve the favors and mercies God bestows on the
more generous, at least a person will come to understand the
road leading to heaven. And if one perseveres, I trust then in
the mercy of God, who never fails to repay anyone who has taken
Him for a friend. For mental prayer in my opinion is nothing
else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking
time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.
In order that love be true and the friendship endure, the wills
of the friends must be in accord. The will of the Lord, it is already
known, cannot be at fault; our will is vicious, sensual, and
ungrateful. And if you do not yet love Him as He loves you
because You have not reached the degree of conformity with
His will, you will endure this pain of spending a long while with
one who is so different from you when you see how much it
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 8
97
benefits you to possess His friendship and how much He loves
you.
6. O infinite goodness of my God, for it seems to me I see
that such is the way You are and the way I am! O delight of
angels, when I see this I desire to be completely consumed in
loving You! How certainly You do suffer the one who suffers
to be with You! Oh, what a good friend You make, my Lord!
How You proceed by favoring and enduring. You wait for the
others to adapt to Your nature, and in the meanwhile You put
up with theirs! You take into account, my Lord, the times when
they love You, and in one instant of repentance You forget their
offenses.
I have seen this clearly myself. I do not know, my Creator,
why it is that every one does not strive to reach You through
this special friendship, and why those who are wicked, who are
not conformed to Your will, do not, in order that You make
them good, allow You to be with them at least two hours each
day, even though they may not be with You, but with a thou-
sand disturbances from worldly cares and thoughts, as was the
case with me. Through this effort they make to remain in such
good company (for You see that in the beginning they cannot
do more, nor afterward, sometimes), You, Lord, force the devils
not to attack them, so that each day the devils' strength against
them lessens; and You give them the victory over the devils.
Yes, for You do not kill — life of all lives! — any of those who trust
in You and desire You for friend. But You sustain the life of
the body with more health, and You give life to the soul.
7. I don't understand what they fear who fear to begin the
practice of mental prayer. I don't know what they are afraid of.
The devil is doing his task well of making the truth seem evil
if through fears he prevents me from thinking of how I have of-
fended God, and of the many things I owe Him, and of what
leads to hell and what to glory, and of the great trials and suf-
ferings the Lord endured for me.
This was my whole method of prayer, and the method was
this one for as long as I walked in the midst of these dangers;
these are the things I thought of when I was able. And very often,
for some years, I was more anxious that the hour I had deter-
98
St. Teresa of Avila
mined to spend in prayer be over than I was to remain there,
and more anxious to listen for the striking of the clock than to
attend to other good things. And I don't know what heavy
penance could have come to mind that frequently I would not
have gladly undertaken rather than recollect myself in the prac-
tice of prayer. It is certain that so unbearable was the force used
by the devil, or coming from my wretched habits, to prevent
me from going to prayer, and so unbearable the sadness I felt
on entering the oratory, that I had to muster up all my courage
(and they say I have no small amount of that, and it is observed
that God has given me more than women usually have, but I
have made poor use of it) in order to force myself; and in the
end the Lord helped me. After I had made this effort, I found
myself left with greater quiet and delight than sometimes when
I had the desire to pray.
8. Now, then, if the Lord put up with someone as miserable
as myself for so long a time, and it seems clear that by this means
all my evils were remedied, who, no matter how bad they may
be, has reason to fear? For no matter how bad they may be,
they will not be bad for as many years as I was after having
received so many favors from the Lord. Who can lose confidence?
For the Lord endured so much with me only because I desired
and strove to have some place and time in order that He might
be with me. And this I often did without eagerness but through
my own great struggles or through the strength the Lord Himself
gave me. For if those who do not serve Him but offend Him
derive so much good from prayer and find it so necessary — and
no one can truly discover any harm that prayer can do, the
greatest harm being not to practice it — why do those who serve
God and desire to serve Him abandon it? I, indeed, cannot
understand why, unless it is that they want to undergo the trials
of life with greater trial and close the door on God so that He
may not make them happy. I certainly pity those who serve the
Lord at their own cost, because for those who practice prayer
the Lord Himself pays the cost since through their little labor
He gives them delight so that with the help of this delight they
might suffer the trials.
9. Because much will be said about these delights that the Lord
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 8
99
gives to those who persevere in prayer, I shall not say anything
here. I say only that prayer is the door to favors as great as those
He granted me. If this door is closed, I don't know how He will
grant them. For even though He may desire to enter and take
delight in a soul and favor it, there is no way of His doing this,
for He wants it alone and clean and desirous of receiving His
graces. If we place many stumbling blocks in His path and don't
do a thing to remove them, how will He be able to come to us?
And we desire God to grant us great favors!
10. To make known His mercy and the great good it did me
not to abandon prayer and reading. I shall speak here — since
it is so important to understand these things — about the heavy
battery the devil uses against a soul in order to win it over, and
about the skill and mercy with which the Lord endeavors to bring
it back to Himself, and about how to be on guard against the
dangers I was not on guard against. Above all, for love of our
Lord and for the great love with which He wins us back to
Himself, I beg souls to watch out for the occasions. For we have
nothing to rely on for our defense when we are placed in these
occasions where there are so many enemies to war against us
and so many weaknesses of our own.
11. Would that I knew how to depict the captivity my soul
was in during this time. I understood clearly that I was in cap-
tivity, but I wasn't able to understand why; nor was I able to
believe completely that what my confessors did not consider
serious was less wrong than I in my soul felt it was. One con-
fessor told me when I went to him with a scruple that even if
I were to have sublime contemplation such occasions and associa-
tions would not be harmful to me. This happened toward the
end of this period when by the mercy of God I was withdrawing
more from great dangers; but I hadn't completely abandoned
the occasions. Since my confessors saw my good desires and my
devotion to prayer, they thought I was doing a great deal. But
my soul understood that it was doing what it was obligated to
do for Him to whom it owed so much. I consider it now a pity
that so much happened and so little help was found anywhere,
except in God, and that they gave it a great pretext for its
pastimes and satisfactions by saying that these were licit.
100
St. Teresa of Avila
12. The torment I felt in hearing sermons was not small. I
was very fond of them, so fond that if I saw someone preach
well and with spirit, I felt a special love for that person, without
striving for the love myself, so that I didn't know where it came
from. Hardly ever did a sermon seem so bad to me that I didn't
listen to it eagerly, even though according to others who heard
it the preaching was not good. When it was good, the sermon
was for me a very special recreation. After I had begun the prac-
tice of prayer, speaking of God or hearing others speak of Him
hardly ever tired me. On the one hand I found great comfort
in sermons, while on the other I was tormented, for through them
I understood that I wasn't what I should have been — not by a
far cry. I begged the Lord to help me. But I must have failed,
as it appears to me now, because I did not put all my trust in
His Majesty and lose completely the trust I had in myself. I
searched for a remedy, I made attempts, but I didn't understand
that all is of little benefit if we do not take away completely the
trust we have in ourselves and place it in God.
I wanted to live (for I well understood that I was not living
but was struggling with a shadow of death), but I had no one
to give me life, and I was unable to catch hold of it. He who
had the power to give it to me was right in not helping me, for
so often had He brought me back to Himself; and so often had
I abandoned Him.
Chapter 9
Treats of the means by which the Lord began to awaken her soul and give
it light amid such thick darknesses and strengthen her virtues that she might
not offend Him.
WELL, MY SOUL now was tired; and, in spite of its desire,
my wretched habits would not allow it rest. It happened
to me that one day entering the oratory I saw a statue they had
borrowed for a certain feast to be celebrated in the house. It
represented the much wounded Christ1 and was very devo-
tional so that beholding it I was utterly distressed in seeing Him
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 9
101
that way, for it well represented what He suffered for us. I felt
so keenly aware of how poorly I thanked Him for those wounds
that, it seems to me, my heart broke. Beseeching Him to
strengthen me once and for all that I might not offend Him,
I threw myself down before Him with the greatest outpouring
of tears.
2. I was very devoted to the glorious Magdalene and frequently
thought about her conversion, especially when I received Com-
munion. For since I knew the Lord was certainly present there
within me, I, thinking that He would not despise my tears, placed
myself at His feet. And I didn't know what I was saying (He
did a great deal who allowed me to shed them for Him, since
I so quickly forgot that sentiment); and I commended myself
to this glorious saint that she might obtain pardon for me.
3. But in this latter instance with this statue I am speaking
of, it seems to me I profited more, for I was very distrustful of
myself and placed all my trust in God. I think I then said that
I would not rise from there until He granted what I was beg-
ging Him for. I believe certainly this was beneficial to me,
because from that time I went on improving.
4. This is the method of prayer I then used: since I could not
reflect discursively with the intellect, I strove to represent Christ
within me, and it did me greater good — in my opinion — to repre-
sent Him in those scenes where I saw Him more alone. It seemed
to me that being alone and afflicted, as a person in need, He
had to accept me. I had many simple thoughts like these.
The scene of His prayer in the garden, especially, was a com-
fort to me; I strove to be His companion there. If I could, I
thought of the sweat and agony He had undergone in that place.
I desired to wipe away the sweat He so painfully experienced,
but I recall that I never dared to actually do it, since my sins
appeared to me so serious. I remained with Him as long as my
thoughts allowed me to, for there were many distractions that
tormented me. Most nights, for many years before going to bed
when I commended myself to God in preparation for sleep, I
always pondered for a little while this episode of the prayer in
the garden. I did this even before I was a nun since I was told
that one gains many indulgences by doing so. I believe my soul
102
St. Teresa of Avila
gained a great deal through this custom because I began to prac-
tice prayer without knowing what it was; and the custom became
so habitual that I did not abandon it, just as I did not fail to
make the sign of the cross before sleeping.
5. But to return to what I was saying about the torment my
distracting thoughts gave me, this torment is a characteristic of
the method in which you proceed without discursive reflection
on the part of the intellect. For such a method requires that the
soul be very advanced, or lost; I mean lost with regard to
discursive reflection. In its progress it advances a great deal
because it advances in love. But to reach this point the cost is
very high, except in the case of persons whom the Lord desires
to bring quickly to the prayer of quiet, for I know some. Those
who follow this path of no discursive reflection will find that a
book can be a help for recollecting oneself quickly. It helped me
also to look at fields, or water, or flowers. In these things I found
a remembrance of the Creator. I mean that they awakened and
recollected me and served as a book and reminded me of my
ingratitude and sins. As for heavenly or sublime things, my
intellect was so coarse that it could never, never imagine them
until the Lord in another way showed them to me.
6. I had such little ability to represent things with my intellect
that if I hadn't seen the things my imagination was not of use
to me, as it is to other persons who can imagine things and thus
recollect themselves. 1 could only think about Christ as He was
as man, but never in such a way that I could picture Him within
myself no matter how much I read about His beauty or how
many images I saw of Him. I was like those who are blind or
in darkness; they speak with a person and see that that person
is with them because they know with certainty that the other
is there (I mean they understand and believe this, but they do
not see the other); such was the case with me when I thought
of our Lord. This was the reason I liked images so much.
Unfortunate are those who through their own fault lose this great
good. It indeed appears that they do not love the Lord, for if
they loved Him they would rejoice to see a portrait of Him, just
as here on earth it really gives joy to see one whom you deeply
love.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 9
103
7. At this time they gave me The Confessions of St. Augustine. 2
It seems the Lord ordained this, because I had not tried to pro-
cure a copy, nor had I ever seen one. I am very fond of St.
Augustine, because the convent where I stayed as a lay person
belonged to his order; 5 and also because he had been a sinner,
for I found great consolation in sinners whom, after having been
sinners, the Lord brought back to Himself. It seemed to me I
could find help in them and that since the Lord had pardoned
them He could also pardon me. But there was one thing that
left me inconsolable, as I have mentioned, and that was that the
Lord called them only once, and they did not turn back and fall
again; whereas in my case I had turned back so often that I was
worn out from it. But by considering the love He bore me, I
regained my courage, for I never lost confidence in His mercy;
in myself, I lost it many times.
8. Oh, God help me, how it frightens me, my soul's blind-
ness despite so much assistance from God! It made me fearful
to see how little I could do by myself and how bound I became
so that I was unable to resolve to give myself entirely to God.
As I began to read the Confessions , it seemed to me I saw myself
in them. I began to commend myself very much to this glorious
saint. When I came to the passage where he speaks about his
conversion and read how he heard that voice in the garden,4 it
only seemed to me, according to what I felt in my heart, that
it was I the Lord called. I remained for a long time totally dis-
solved in tears and feeling within myself utter distress and
weariness. Oh, how a soul suffers, God help me, by losing the
freedom it should have in being itself; and what torments it
undergoes! I marvel now at how I could have lived in such great
affliction. May God be praised who gave me the life to rise up
from a death so deadly.
9. It seemed to me my soul gained great strength from the
Divine Majesty and that He must have heard my cries and taken
pity on so many tears.3 The inclination to spend more time
with Him began to grow. I started to shun the occasions of sin,
because when they were avoided I then returned to loving His
Majesty. In my opinion, I clearly understood that I loved Him;
but I did not understand as I should have what true love of God
104
St. Teresa of Avila
consists in.
It doesn't seem to me I was yet finished preparing myself to
desire to serve Him when His Majesty began to favor me again.
Apparently, what others strive for with great labor, the Lord
gains for me only through my desire to receive it, for He was
now, in these later years, giving me delights and favors. I did
not beseech Him to give me tenderness of devotion, never would
I have dared to do that. I only begged Him to pardon my great
sins and to give me the grace not to offend Him. Since I saw
that my sins were so great, I would never have had the boldness
to desire favors or delights. Clearly, it seems, He took pity on
me and showed great mercy in admitting me before Him and
bringing me into His presence, for I saw that if He Himself had
not accomplished this, I would not have come.
Only once in my life, when in great dryness, do I recall hav-
ing asked for spiritual delight. And when I became aware of what
I was doing, I got so confused that the very annoyance at see-
ing myself with such lack of humility brought about what I had
dared to ask for. I knew well that it was permissible to ask for
this, but it seemed to me that such a request was licit for those
who were prepared and determined to do every good and not
to offend God. It seemed to me that the tears I shed were
womanish and without strength since I did not obtain by them
what I desired. But still, I believe they were valuable for me
because, as I say, especially after these two instances5 of such
great compunction and weariness of heart over my sins, I began
to give myself more to prayer and to become less involved with
things that did me harm, although I still did not avoid them com-
pletely; but — as I say — God was helping me turn aside from
them. Since His Majesty was not waiting for anything other than
some preparedness in me, the spiritual graces went on increas-
ing in the manner I shall tell. It is not a customary thing for
the Lord to give them save to those with greater purity of
conscience.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 10
105
Chapter 10
Begins to tell about the favors the Lord granted her in prayer, of how we
ourselves can help, and how important it is that we understand the graces
the Lord gives us. Asks the one to whom this is sent to keep secret what
she writes about from here on, for they commanded her to speak so personally
about the favors the Lord grants her.1
I SOMETIMES EXPERIENCED, as I said/ although very
briefly, the beginning of what I will now speak about. It used
to happen, when I represented Christ within me in order to place
myself in His presence, or even while reading, that a feeling of
the presence of God would come upon me unexpectedly so that
I could in no way doubt He was within me or I totally immersed
in Him. This did not occur after the manner of a vision. I believe
they call the experience "mystical theology." The soul is suspended
in such a way that it seems to be completely outside itself. The
will loves; the memory, it seems to me, is almost lost. For, as
I say, the intellect does not work, but it is as though amazed
by all it understands because God desires that it understand,
with regard to the things His Majesty represents to it, that it
understands nothing.
2. Before this, I felt very habitually a tenderness that, it seems
to me, can in part be acquired, a favor that is neither entirely
of the senses nor entirely spiritual. Everything is given by God,
but it seems we can help a great deal to receive this tenderness
by considering our lowliness and the ingratitude we have shown
toward God, the many things He did for us, His Passion with
such heavy sorrows, His life so afflicted, and by delighting in
the sight of His works, His grandeur, how He loves us, and in
the many other things that those who truly want to improve
spiritually are often able to find all around them, even though
they do not seek to do so deliberately. If some love accompanies
this activity, the soul is gladdened, the heart is touched with
tenderness, and tears begin to flow. Sometimes it seems we draw
forth the tears through our own effort, at other times it seems
the Lord grants them to us, since we are unable to resist them.
Apparently, His Majesty repays us for that bit of care with a
106
St. Teresa of Avila
gift as great as is the consolation He gives a soul when it sees
that it weeps for so great a Lord. And I am not surprised, for
he surpasses reason in bestowing consolation: He comforts here;
He gladdens there.
3. It seems to me the following comparison that now comes
to mind is a good one, for these joys of prayer must be like those
of heaven. Since souls do not see more than what the Lord, in
conformity with their merits, desires them to see — and they see
their few merits — they are happy with the place they have, even
though there is the greatest difference in heaven between one
joy and another. This difference is far more than the difference
here below between some spiritual joys and others, which is very
great.
Truly, in the beginning when God grants it this favor, it almost
seems to the soul that there is nothing more for it to desire, and
it considers itself well repaid for all its service. It is more than
right, for one of these tears that, as I say, we almost acquire
ourselves — although without God nothing is accomplished — can-
not be bought in my opinion with all the trials in the world; for
much is gained by these tears. And what greater gain is there
than to have evidence that we are pleasing God? Thus they who
reach this point praise God much and know themselves to be
very indebted. For now it seems, if they don't turn back, that
they are chosen for God's own house and kingdom.
4. Let them pay no attention to the kinds of humility, which
I will discuss later,3 in which it seems to some that it is humili-
ty not to acknowledge that God is giving them gifts. Let us
understand most clearly the real fact: God gives them to us
without any merit on our part. And let us thank His Majesty
for them, because, if we do not acknowledge we are receiving
them, we will not awaken ourselves to love. And it is very cer-
tain that while we see more clearly that we are rich, over and
above knowing that we are poor, more benefit comes to us, and
even more authentic humility. Anything else would amount to
intimidating the spirit, making it believe that it isn't capable of
great blessings, so that when the Lord begins to give them to
it, it starts to get frightened about vainglory. Let us believe that
He who gives us the blessings will give us the grace so that when
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 10
107
the devil begins to tempt us in this way we shall understand and
have the fortitude to resist — I mean, if we walk with sincerity
before God, aiming at pleasing Him alone and not people.
5. It is very obvious that we love others more when we often
recall the good works they do for us. If it is permissible, and
therefore meritorious, to keep always in mind that we have our
being from God, that He created us from nothing and sustains
us, and all the other benefits flowing from His death and trials —
for long before He created us He obtained them for each one
now living — why would it not be permissible for me to see and
understand and often consider that I ordinarily used to speak
about vanities and that now the Lord has given me the desire
to speak of nothing but Him? Here is a jewel by which, in recall-
ing that it is a gift and that we possess it, we are compelled to
love the giver. For love is the genuine fruit of prayer when prayer
is rooted in humility. What then will happen when they see in
their power other than precious jewels, like those some servants
of God have already received, of contempt of the world and even
of themselves? It is clear that they must consider themselves more
indebted and obliged to serve and to understand that we have
no right to any of this, and to know the generosity of the Loid.
For to a soul as poor and wretched and without merit as mine,
for which the first of these jewels was enough, and more than
enough, He desired to grant more riches; more than I knew how
to desire.
6. It is necessary to draw out strength again for service and
to strive not to be ungrateful. For the Lord gives these riches
under this condition that if we do not use well the treasure and
high state in which He places us, He will take them from us and
we shall be left poorer. And His Majesty will give the jewels
to those who will display them and gain profit from them, both
for themselves and for others.
For how can people benefit and share their gifts lavishly if
they do not understand that they are rich? In my opinion, it
is impossible because of our nature for those who don't know
they are favored by God to have enthusiasm for great things.
We are so miserable and so inclined to earthly things that those
who do not understand they have a pledge of heavenly things
108
St. Teresa of Avila
will find it hard to abhor in fact and with detachment everything
here below. By these gifts, the Lord gives us the fortitude that
by our sins we are losing. If people don't have, along with a liv-
ing faith, some pledge of the love God has for them, they will
not desire to be despised and belittled by everyone and have all
the other great virtues that the perfect possess. For our nature
is so dead that we go after what we see in the present. Thus these
very favors are what awaken faith and strengthen it. Now it could
be that, since I am so wretched I am judging others by myself,
others may find they have need of no more than the truth of
faith in order to perform very perfect works — and I, being so
miserable, have had need of everything.
7. They will say whether this is so or not. I am speaking about
what has happened to me, as I have been ordered to do. And
if what I say isn't worthwhile, the one I'm sending it to will tear
it up,4 for he will understand what is of little worth better than
I. I beseech him for the love of the Lord to publish what I have
said up to this point about my wretched life. I now give this
permission to him and to all my confessors, for he to whom this
is being sent is one of them. And if they desire they may publish
it while I am still alive that the world may no longer be deceived,
for it thinks there is some good in me. And most certainly and
truly I say, according to what I now know about myself, that
their publishing this would give me great consolation.
As for what I say from here on, I do not give this permission;
nor do I desire, if they should show it to someone, that they tell
who it is who has experienced these things, or who has written
this. As a result, I will not mention my name or the name of
anyone else, but I will write everything as best I can so as to
remain unknown, and this I ask for the love of God. These
persons so learned and serious in mind will suffice for giving
credibility to any good thing if the Lord gives me the grace to
say it, because if it is good it will be His and not mine. For I
am without learning or a good life, without instruction from a
learned man or from any other person (for only those who com-
manded me to write this know that I am writing it, and at pre-
sent they are not here), and almost stealing time, and regretful-
ly because it prevents me from spinning and this is a poor house
The Book of Her Life- Chap. 10
109
with many things to be done. For even though the Lord may
have given me greater capability and memory so that I might
thereby have been able to profit from what I have heard or read,
I have retained very little of it. Thus if I should say something
good, the Lord wills it for some good; what is bad will be from
me, and your Reverence will strike it out. Neither in the one
instance nor in the other would there be any gain in my telling
my name. It is clear that during my life no good should be said
of me. After my death there would be no reason for doing so;
but rather goodness would lose prestige, and no credit would
be given to it for being said of so wretched and base a person.
8. And with the thought that your Reverence will do this that
I'm asking you, for the love of the Lord, and that others who
read it also will do so, I am writing freely. Otherwise I would
have great scruples, with the exception of writing about my sins,
for in such a matter I have no scruples. As for everything else,
just being a woman is enough to have my wings fall off— how
much more being both a woman and wretched as well. And thus
what amounts to more than simply giving an account of my life,
your Reverence may judge — since you so importuned that I write
some statement about the favors granted me by God in prayer —
as to its conformity with the truths of our holy Catholic faith.
And if it should not be in conformity with them, your Reverence
may burn it immediately, for I would submit to it being burned.
And I shall speak of what is taking place in me so that when
it is conformed to this faith, it may bring some profit to your
Reverence; and if it is not, you will free my soul from illusion
so that the devil may not be gaining where it seems to me that
I am gaining. For the Lord well knows, as I shall afterward
say,1 that I have always tried to find someone who would give
me light.
9. As much as I desire to speak clearly about these matters
of prayer, they will be really obscure for anyone who has not
had experience. I'll speak of some things that as I understand
them are obstacles to progress along this path and other things
in which there is danger. These things I'll say from what the
Lord has taught me through experience and through discussions
with very learned men and persons who have lived the spiritual
110
St. Teresa of Avila
life for many years. It will be seen that within only twenty-seven
years in which I have practiced prayer His Majesty has given
me the experience — along with my walking amid so many
stumbling blocks and so poorly on this path — that for others took
forty-seven or thirty-seven years; they journeyed in penance and
always in virtue.
May His Majesty be blessed for everything and served by me
on account of who He is. For my Lord knows well that in writing
this I have no other aim than that He be praised and extolled
a little when it is seen that in so filthy and malodorous a dungheap
He should make a garden with so many delicate flowers. May
His Majesty be pleased that through my own fault I do not pull
them up again and let the garden return to what it was. I beg
for the love of God that your Reverence pray for this since you
know more clearly what I am than you have allowed me to tell
here.
Chapter 11
Tells of the reason for the failure to reach the perfect love of God in a short
time. Begins to explain through a comparison four degrees of prayer. Goes
on to deal here with the first degree.1 The doctrine is very beneficial for
beginners and for those who do not have consolations in prayer.
WELL, LET US SPEAK NOW of those who are begin-
ning to be servants of love. This doesn't seem to me to
mean anything else than to follow resolutely by means of this
path of prayer Him who has loved us so much. To be a servant
of love is a dignity so great that it delights me in a wonderful
way to think about it. For servile fear soon passes away if in
this first state we proceed as we ought. O Lord of my soul and
my good! When a soul is determined to love You by doing what
it can to leave all and occupy itself better in this divine love,
why don't You desire that it enjoy soon the ascent to the posses-
sion of perfect love? I have poorly expressed myself. I should
have mentioned and complained that we ourselves do not desire
this. The whole fault is ours if we don't soon reach the enjoy-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 11
111
ment of a dignity so great, for the perfect attainment of this true
love of God brings with it every blessing. We are so miserly and
so slow in giving ourselves entirely to God that since His Ma-
jesty does not desire that we enjoy something as precious as this
without paying a high price, we do not fully prepare ourselves.
2. I see clearly that there is nothing on earth with which one
can buy so wonderful a blessing. But if we do what we can to
avoid becoming attached to any earthly thing and let all our care
and concern be with heavenly things, and if within a short time
we prepare ourselves completely, as some of the saints did, I
believe without a doubt that in a very short time this blessing
will be given to us. But it seems to us that we are giving all to
God, whereas the truth of the matter is that we are paying God
the rent or giving Him the fruits and keeping for ourselves the
ownership and the root. We resolve to be poor — and this is very
meritorious — but then very often turn back to being anxious and
diligent about possessing not only the necessities but superfluities
as well and about winning friends who might provide these things
for us. And we are thereby placed in a state of greater anxiety —
and perhaps danger — about not being in want than we were
before when we had our own possessions.
It also appears to us that we are renouncing our status when
we become religious or that we renounce it when we begin to
live a spiritual life and follow the path of perfection. No sooner
is some little point of etiquette concerning our status brought
up than we forget we have already offered it to God; and we
desire to take it right back out of His hands, so to speak, after
having made Him, as it seemed, the Lord of our wills. So it is
with everything else.
3. What a charming way to seek the love of God! And then
we desire it with our hands full, as they say. We have our at-
tachments since we do not strive to direct our desires to a good
effect and raise them up from the earth completely; but to have
many spiritual consolations along with attachments is in-
congruous, nor does it seem to me that the two can get along
together. Since we do not succeed in giving up everything at
once, this treasure as a result is not given to us all at once. May
it please the Lord that drop by drop He may give it to us, even
112
St. Teresa of Avila
though it cost us all the trials in the world.
4. Indeed a great mercy does He bestow on anyone to whom
He gives the grace and courage to resolve to strive for this good
with every ounce of energy. For God does not deny Himself to
anyone who perseveres. Little by little He will measure out the
courage sufficient to attain this victory. I say "courage" because
there are so many things the devil puts in the minds of beginners
to prevent them in fact from starting out on this path. For he
knows the damage that will be done to him in losing not only
that one soul but many others. If beginners with the assistance
of God struggle to reach the summit of perfection, I believe they
will never go to heaven alone; they will always lead many people
along after them. Like good captains they will give whoever
marches in their company to God. The devil puts so many
dangers and difficulties into the beginner's head that no little
courage, but a great deal, is necessary in order not to turn
back — and a great deal of assistance from God.
5. Speaking now of the initial stages of those who are
determined to seek out this good and embark on this enterprise
(for I shall speak afterward of the other stages I began to mention
in regard to mystical theology,2 which I believe it is called), the
greatest labor is in the beginning because it is the beginner who
works while the Lord gives the increase. In the other degrees
of prayer the greatest thing is enjoying; although whether in the
beginning, the middle, or the end, all bear their crosses even
though these crosses be different. For all who follow Christ, if
they don't want to get lost, must walk along this path that He
trod. And blessed be the trials that even here in this life are so
superabundantly repaid.
6. I shall have to make use of some comparison, although I
should like to excuse myself from this since I am a woman and
write simply what they ordered me to write. But these spiritual
matters for anyone who like myself has not gone through studies
are so difficult to explain. I shall have to find some mode of
explaining myself, and it may be less often that I hit upon a good
comparison. Seeing so much stupidity will provide some
recreation for your Reverence.
It seems now to me that I read or heard of this comparison — for
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 11
113
since I have a bad memory, I don't know where or for what
reason it was used,* but it will be all right for my purposes.
Beginners must realize that in order to give delight to the Lord
they are starting to cultivate a garden on very barren soil, full
of abominable weeds. His Majesty pulls up the weeds and plants
good seed. Now let us keep in mind that all of this is already
done by the time a soul is determined to practice prayer and
has begun to make use of it. And with the help of God we must
strive like good gardeners to get these plants to grow and take
pains to water them so that they don't wither but come to bud
and flower and give forth a most pleasant fragrance to provide
refreshment for this Lord of ours. Then He will often come to
take delight in this garden and find His joy among these virtues.
7. But let us see now how it must be watered so that we may
understand what we have to do, the labor this will cost us,
whether the labor is greater than the gain, and for how long it
must last. It seems to me the garden can be watered in four ways.
You may draw water from a well (which is for us a lot of work).
Or you may get it by means of a water wheel and aqueducts
in such a way that it is obtained by turning the crank of the water
wheel. (I have drawn it this way sometimes — 4the method in-
volves less work than the other, and you get more water.) Or
it may flow from a river or a stream. (The garden is watered
much better by this means because the ground is more fully
soaked, and there is no need to water so frequently — and much
less work for the gardener.) Or the water may be provided by
a great deal of rain. (For the Lord waters the garden without
any work on our part — and this way is incomparably better than
all the others mentioned.)
8. Now, then, these four ways of drawing water in order to
maintain this garden — because without water it will die — are
what are important to me and have seemed applicable in ex-
plaining the four degrees of prayer in which the Lord in His
goodness has sometimes placed my soul. May it please His
goodness that 1 manage to speak about them in a way beneficial
for one of the persons5 who ordered me to write this, because
within four months the Lord has brought him further than I got
in seventeen years. This person has prepared himself better, and
114
St. Teresa of Avila
so without any labor of his own the flower garden is watered
with all these four waters, although the last is still not given ex-
cept in drops. But he is advancing in such a way that soon he
will be immersed in it, with the help of the Lord. And I shall
be pleased if you laugh should this way of explaining the matter
appear foolish.
9. Beginners in prayer, we can say, are those who draw water
from the wrell. This involves a lot of work on their own part,
as I have said. They must tire themselves in trying to recollect
their senses. Since they are accustomed to being distracted, this
recollection requires much effort. They need to get accustomed
to caring nothing at all about seeing or hearing, to practicing
the hours of prayer, and thus to solitude and withdrawal — and
to thinking on their past life. Although these beginners and the
others as well must often reflect upon their past, the extent to
which they must do so varies, as I shall say afterward. In the
beginning such reflection is even painful, for they do not fully
understand whether or not they are repentant of their sins. If
they are, they are then determined to serve God earnestly. They
must strive to consider the life of Christ — and the intellect grows
weary in doing this.
These are the things we can do of ourselves, with the
understanding that we do so by the help of God, for without
this help as is already known we cannot have so much as a good
thought. These things make up the beginning of fetching water
from the well, and please God that it may be found. At least
we are doing our part, for we are already drawing it out and
doing what we can to water these flowers. God is so good that
when for reasons His Majesty knows — perhaps for our greater
benefit — the well is dry and we, like good gardeners, do what
lies in our power, He sustains the garden without water and
makes the virtues grow. Here by "water" I am referring to tears
and when there are no tears to interior tenderness and feelings
of devotion.
JO. But what will they do here who see that after many days
there is nothing but dryness, distaste, vapidness, and very little
desire to come to draw water? So little is the desire to do this
that if they don't recall that doing so serves and gives pleasure
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 11
115
to the Lord of the garden, and if they aren't careful to preserve
the merits acquired in this service (and even what they hope to
gain from the tedious work of often letting the pail down into
the well and pulling it back up without any water), they will aban-
don everything. It will frequently happen to them that they will
even be unable to lift their arms for this work and unable to get
a good thought. This discursive work with the intellect is what
is meant by fetching water from the well.
But, as I am saying, what will the gardener do here? He will
rejoice and be consoled and consider it the greatest favor to be
able to work in the garden of so great an Emperor! Since he
knows that this pleases the Lord and his intention must be not
to please himself but to please the Lord, he gives the Lord much
praise. For the Master has confidence in the gardener because
He sees that without any pay he is so very careful about what
he was told to do. This gardener helps Christ carry the cross
and reflects that the Lord lived with it all during His life. He
doesn't desire the Lord's kingdom here below or ever abandon
prayer. And so he is determined, even though this dryness may
last for his whole life, not to let Christ fall with the cross. The
time will come when the Lord will repay him all at once. He
doesn't fear that the labor is being wasted. He is serving a good
Master whose eyes are upon him. He doesn't pay any attention
to bad thoughts. He considers that the devil also represented
them to St. Jerome in the desert.7
1 1 . These labors take their toll. Being myself one who endured
them for many years (for when I got a drop of water from this
sacred well I thought God was granting me a favor), I know that
they are extraordinary. It seems to me more courage is necessary
for them than for many other labors of this world. But I have
seen clearly that God does not leave one, even in his life, without
a large reward; because it is certainly true that one of those hours
in which the Lord afterward bestowed on me a taste of Himself
repaid, it seems to me, all the anguish I suffered in persevering
for a long time in prayer.
I am of the opinion that to some in the beginning and to others
afterward the Lord often desires to give these torments and the
many other temptations that occur in order to try His lovers and
116
St. Teresa of Aviia
know whether they will be able to drink the chalice and help
Him carry the cross before He lays great treasures within them.
I believe His Majesty desires to bring us along this way for our
own good so that we may understand well what little we amount
to. The favors that come afterward are of such great worth that
He desires first that before He gives them to us we see by ex-
perience our own worthlessness so that what happened to Lucifer
will not happen to us.
12. My Lord, what do You do but that which is for the greater
good of the soul You understand now to be Yours and which
places itself in Your power so as to follow You wherever You
go, even to death on the cross, and is determined to help You
bear it and not leave You alone with it?
Those who see in themselves this determination have no
reason, no reason whatsoever, to fear. Spiritual persons, you
have no reason to be afflicted. Once you are placed in so high
a degree as to desire to commune in solitude with God and aban-
don the pastimes of the world, the most has been done. Praise
His Majesty for that and trust in His goodness who never fails
His friends. Conceal from your eyes the thought about why He
gives devotion to one after such a few days and not to me after
so many years. Let us believe that all is for our own greater good.
Let His Majesty lead the way along the path He desires. We
belong no longer to ourselves but to Him. He grants us a great
favor in wanting us to desire to dig in His garden and be in the
presence of its Lord who certainly is present with us. Should
He desire that for some these plants and flowers grow by the
water they draw, which He gives from this well, and for others
without it, what difference does that make to me? Do, Lord,
what You desire. May I not offend You. Don't let the virtues
be lost, if You only out of Your goodness have already given
me some. I desire to suffer, Lord, since You suffered. Let Your
will be done in me in every way, and may it not please Your
Majesty that something as precious as Your love be given to
anyone who serves you only for the sake of consolations.
13. It should be carefully noted — and I say this because I know
it through experience — that the soul that begins to walk along
this path of mental prayer with determination and that can sue-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 11
117
ceed in paying little attention to whether this delight and
tenderness is lacking or whether the Lord gives it (or to whether
it has much consolation or no consolation) has travelled a great
part of the way. However much it stumbles, it should not fear
that it will turn back, because the building has been started on
a solid foundation. This is true because the love of God does
not consist in tears or in this delight and tenderness, which for
the greater part we desire and find consolation in; but it con-
sists in serving with justice and fortitude of soul and in humili-
ty. Without such service it seems to me we would be receiving
everything and giving nothing.
14. In the case of a poor little woman like myself, weak and
with hardly any fortitude, it seems to me fitting that God lead
me with gifts, as He now does, so that I might be able to suffer
some trials He has desired me to bear. But when I see servants
of God, men of prominence, learning, and high intelligence make
so much fuss because God doesn't give them devotion, it an-
noys me to hear them. I do not mean that they shouldn't accept
it if God gives it, and esteem it, because then His Majesty sees
that this is appropriate. But when they don't have devotion, they
shouldn't weary themselves. They should understand that since
His Majesty doesn't give it, it isn't necessary; and they should
be masters of themselves. They should believe that their desire
for consolation is a fault. I have experienced and seen this. They
should believe it denotes imperfection together with a lack of
freedom of spirit and the courage to accomplish something.
15. Although I lay great stress on this because it is very im-
portant that beginners have such freedom and determination,
I am not saying it so much for beginners as for others. For there
are many who begin, yet they never reach the end. I believe
this is due mainly to a failure to embrace the cross from the begin-
ning; thinking they are doing nothing, they become afflicted.
When the intellect ceases to work, they cannot bear it. But it
is then perhaps that their will is being strengthened and fortified,
although they may not be aware of this.
We should think that the Lord is not concerned about these
inabilities. Even though they seem to us to be faults, they are
not. His Majesty already knows our misery and our wretched
118
St. Teresa of Avila
nature better than we do ourselves, and He knows that these
souls now desire to think of Him and love Him always. This
determination is what He desires. The other affliction that we
bring upon ourselves serves for nothing else than to disquiet the
soul, and if it was incapable before of engaging in prayer for
one hour, it will be so now for four. Very often this incapacity
comes from some bodily disorder. I have a great deal of
experience in this matter, and I know that what I say is true
because I have considered it carefully and discussed it afterward
with spiritual persons. We are so miserable that our poor little
imprisoned soul shares in the miseries of the body; the changes
in the weather and the rotating of the bodily humors often have
the result that without their fault souls cannot do what they desire,
but suffer in every way. If they seek to force themselves more
during these times, the bad condition becomes worse and lasts
longer. They should use discernment to observe when these
bodily disorders may be the cause, and not smother the poor
soul. They should understand that they are sick. The hour of
prayer ought to be changed, and often this change will have to
continue for some days. Let them suffer this exile as best thev
can. It is a great misfortune to a soul that loves God to see that
it lives in this misery and cannot do what it desires because it
has as wretched a guest as is this body.
16.1 have said they should use discernment because sometimes
the devil is the cause. And so it isn't always good to abandon
prayer when there is great distraction and disturbance in the
intellect just as it isn't always good to torture the soul into doing
what it cannot do.
There are other exterior things like works of charity and
spiritual reading, although at times it will not even be fit for
these. Let it then serve the body out of love of God — because
many other times the body serves the soul — and engage in some
spiritual pastimes such as holy conversations, provided they are
truly so, or going to the country, as the confessor might counsel.
Experience is a great help in all, for it teaches what is suitable
for us; and God can be served in everything. His yoke is easy,8
and it is very helpful not to drag the soul along, as they say,
but fo lead it gently for the sake of its greater advantage.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 12
119
17. So I return to the advice — and even if I repeat it many
times this doesn't matter — that it is very important that no one
be distressed or afflicted over dryness or noisy and distracting
thoughts. If people wish to gain freedom of spirit and not be
always troubled, let them begin by not being frightened by the
cross, and they will see how the Lord also helps them carry it
and they will gain satisfaction and profit from everything. For,
clearly, if the well is dry, we cannot put water into it. True, we
must not become neglectful; when there is water we should draw
it out because then the Lord desires to multiply the virtues by
this means.
Chapter 12
Continues the discussion of this first stage. Tells about how far we can
get, with the help of God, through our own efforts, and about the harm
that results when the spirit desires to ascend to supernatural things before
the Lord grants them. ' .
WHAT I TRIED TO EXPLAIN in the previous chap-
ters—although I digressed a great deal in speaking of
other things since mentioning them seemed to me very
necessary — was the work we can do through our own efforts and
how in obtaining this initial devotion we can help ourselves in
some way. For in thinking about and carefully examining what
the Lord suffered for us, we are moved to compassion; and this
sorrow and the resulting tears bring delight. In thinking about
the glory we hope for, the love the Lord bore us, and His
resurrection, we are moved to a joy that is neither entirely
spiritual nor entirely of the senses. But the joy is virtuous and
the sorrow very meritorious. Virtue and merit are found in all
the things that cause the devotion acquired partly by the intellect,
even though this devotion could not be merited or obtained if
God did not give it. It is very good for a soul that hasn't gone
beyond this point to refrain from striving to ascend further. This
should be kept in mind, for otherwise the soul wouldn't make
progress but would suffer harm.
120
St. Teresa of Avila
2. In this state it can make many acts to awaken love, many
resolutions to render God much service, and other acts in order
to make the virtues grow, in accord with what is said in a book
called The Art of Serving God,1 which is a very good and ap-
propriate book for those who are in this state in which the in-
tellect is at work. The soul can place itself in the presence of
Christ and grow accustomed to being inflamed with love for His
sacred humanity. It can keep Him ever present and speak with
Him, asking for its needs and complaining of its labors, being
glad with Him in its enjoyments and not forgetting Him because
of them, trying to speak to Him, not through written prayers
but with words that conform to its desires and needs.
This is an excellent way of making progress, and in a very
short time. I consider that soul advanced who strives to remain
in this precious company and to profit very much by it, and who
truly comes to love this Lord to whom we owe so much.
3. As a result, we shouldn't care at all about not having
devotion — as I have said — but we ought to thank the Lord who
allows us to be desirous of pleasing Him, even though our works
may be weak. This method of keeping Christ present with us
is beneficial in all stages and is a very safe means of advancing
in the first degree of prayer, of reaching in a short time the sec-
ond degree, and of walking secure against the dangers the devil
can set up in the last degrees.
4. Keeping Christ present is what we of ourselves can do.
Whoever would desire to pass beyond this point and raise the
spirit to an experience of spiritual consolations that are not given
would lose both the one and the other, in my opinion; for these
consolations belong to the supernatural. And if the intellect is
not active, the soul is left very dry, like a desert. Since this edifice
is built entirely on humility, the closer one comes to God the
more progress there must be in this virtue; and if there is no
progress in humility, everything is going to be ruined. It seems
a kind of pride to desire of ourselves to ascend higher since, in
view of what we are, God does too much just in drawing us near
to Himself.
It should not be thought that I am saying this about an as-
cent by means of reflection to the high things of heaven or of
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 12
121
God and oi the grander* > that are there and of His great wisdom.
I never reflected in thi> way, because I did not have the ability,
as I said, and I was so wretched. Even in respect to thinking
of earthly things, God gave me the favor understand the truth
that my reflecting on them would reqiu, e n«> small amount of
boldness, and how much more lor heavenly things. Yet, other
persons will draw profit from such reflection, especially if they
have gone through studies. For in my opinion a background of
studies is like a treasure to aid in this practice if the studies are
accompanied by humility. Some days ago I saw the truth of this
statement in the case of a few learned men.'* They began only
a short time ago, and they have advanced very far. This makes
me most anxious that many learned men would become spiritual
men, as I shall say afterward.4
5. What I say about not ascending to God unless He raises
one up is language of the spirit. He who has had some experience
will understand me, for I don't know how to describe this being
raised up if it isn't understood through experience. In mystical
theology, which I began to describe/' the intellect ceases to
work because God suspends it, as I shall explain afterward if
I know how and He gives me His help to do so. Taking it upon
oneself to stop and suspend thought is what I mean should not
be done; nor should we cease to work with the intellect, because
otherwise we would be left like cold simpletons and be doing
neither one thing nor the other. When the Lord suspends the
intellect and causes it to stop, He Himself gives it that which
holds its attention and makes it marvel; and without reflection
it understands more in the space of a Creed than we can under-
stand with all our earthly diligence in many years. Trying to
keep the soul's facul* ies busy and thinking you can make them
be quiet is foolish.
And I say again, even though it may not be understood, this
effort to suspend the intellect is not very humble. Although there
may be no fault, there is no lack of a penalty; labor will be wasted,
and the soul will be left with some little frustration, as in the
case of a person who when about to leap forward is pulled back
by someone else. For now, seemingly, the soul has used its energy
and finds that it hasn't achieved what it wanted to achieve with
122
St. Teresa of Avila
it. And whoever desires to observe will see in the small gain that
results this tiny lack of humility I mentioned. For humility has
an excellent feature: when it is present in a work, that work does
not leave in the soul a feeling of frustration.
It seems to me I have explained this matter, but perhaps I've
made it clear only to myself. May the Lord by means of ex-
perience open the eyes of those who read this; no matter how
little such experience may be, they will soon understand.
6. Many years passed by in which I read a lot of things and
didn't understand anything of what I read. For a long time, even
though God favored me, I didn't know what words to use to ex-
plain His favors; and this was no small trial. In a way amazing
to me, His Majesty when He desires teaches me everything in
a moment.
One thing I can truthfully say: although I spoke with many
spiritual persons who wanted to explain what the Lord was giv-
ing me so that I would be able to speak about it, my dullness
was truly so great that their explanations benefited me neither
little nor much. Or maybe, since His Majesty has always been
my Master, it was the Lord's desire that I have no one else to
thank. May He be blessed forever because it is very disconcert-
ing for me to speak in all truth about His favors. Without my
desiring or asking (for in this matter of understanding these favors
I have by no means been curious — it would have been a virtue
to have been so — as I have been in regard to other vanities),
God gave me in a moment completely clear understanding so
that I knew how to explain His favor in a way that amazed me
more than it did my confessors; for I understood better than they
my own dullness. This clear understanding was given me a lit-
tle while ago, and so what the Lord has not taught me I do not
strive to know unless it be something touching upon matters of
conscience.
7. Once again I counsel that it is very important for the spirit
not to ascend unless the Lord raise it up. What this statement
means is quite apparent. It would be especially bad for women
to try to raise up the spirit because the devil would be able to
cause some illusion; although I am certain the Lord would not
allow any harm to come to someone who strives humbly to reach
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 13
123
Him. On the contrary, such a person would draw out more
benefit and gain where the devil thought he could bring her to
ruin.
Since this path of beginners is much travelled and the counsels
I have given are very important, I have enlarged on them very
much. They have been written of so much better by others, and
I confess that I have written this with a great deal of embarrass-
ment and shame although not with as much as I should have.
May God be blessed for everything, who desires and consents
that someone like myself should speak about His graces, so lofty
and so sublime.
Chapter 13
Continues with this first state and gives advice concerning some tempta-
tions the devil at times causes. The advice is very helpful.
IT HAS OCCURRED TO ME to speak about some temp-
tations I have observed in beginners — I myself have had
some — and to give certain advice that to me seems necessary.
Now strive in the beginning to walk in joy and freedom, for
there are some persons who think their devotion will go away
if they become a little distracted. It is good to walk in fear of
self so as to avoid trusting oneself either little or much when enter-
ing into an occasion where God is usually offended. This fear
is most necessary until we are whole in virtue. If a temptation
comes from human nature, there are few who can consider
themselves so strong as to be negligent. Always, as long as we
live, even for the sake of humility, it is good to know our
miserable nature. But, as I said,1 there are many reasons why
it is permitted to take recreation — even so as to be able to return
with greater strength to prayer. Discretion is required in
everything.
2. Have great confidence, for it is necessary not to hold back
one's desires, but to believe in God that if we try we shall little
by little, even though it may not be soon, reach the state the
saints did with His help. For if they had never determined to
124
St. Teresa of Avila
desire and seek this state little by little in practice they would
never have mounted so high. His Majesty wants this determina-
tion, and He is a friend of courageous souls if they walk in humili-
ty and without trusting in self. I have not seen any cowardly
soul or any of these who under the pretext of humility remain
along the bottom of this path who do not take many years to
advance as far as these courageous ones do in a few. I marvel
at how important it is to be courageous in striving for great things
along this path. For though the soul is not yet strong enough,
it nonetheless takes flight and goes very high although like a lit-
tle fledgling it soon tires and stops.
3. In the past I frequently kept in mind St. Paul's words that
all things can be done in God. I understood clearly that of myself
I couldn't do anything. Understanding this helped me very much;
and also what St. Augustine says; give me, Lord, what You com-
mand, and command what You desire. I often thought that St. Peter
didn't lose anything when he threw himself into the sea, even
though he grew frightened afterward.2 These first acts of deter-
mination are very important, although in this initial stage it is
necessary to hold back a little and be bound by discretion and
the opinion of a spiritual master. But souls should be careful
that he isn't the kind that will teach them to be toads or that
will be satisfied in merely showing them how to catch little lizards.
Let humility always go first so as to understand that this strength
does not come from ourselves.
4. But it is necessary that we know what this humility is like.
I believe the devil harms people who practice prayer and prevents
them from advancing by causing them to misunderstand humili-
ty. He makes it appear to us that it's pride to have great desires
and want to imitate the saints and long to be martyrs. Then he
tells us or causes us to think that since we are sinners the deeds
of the saints are for our admiration, not our imitation. This I
admit too. But we must distinguish what is to be admired from
what is to be imitated. It wouldn't be good for weak and sickly
people to take up much fasting and harsh penance and go off
to desert places where they could neither sleep nor have anything
to eat, or for them to do similar things. But we should think
that we can with God's help strive to have great contempt for
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 13
125
the world, disesteem of honor, and detachment from our posses-
sions. We have such stingy hearts that it seems to us we're go-
ing to lose the earth if we desire to neglect the body a little for
the sake of the spirit. Then it seems to be a help toward recollec-
tion to be secure in the possession of necessities because con-
cern about these necessities is a disturbance to prayer. It makes
me sad that we have so little confidence in God and so much
self love that these concerns should disturb us. And so it is that
where the spirit is prospering as poorly as this a few trifles are
as bad a trial to us as other trials caused by great and very im-
portant things. And yet in our judgment we presume that we
are spiritual!
5. It seems to me now that this manner of procedure is a desire
to reconcile body and soul so as to preserve one's rest here below
and enjoy God up above. And if we walk in justice and cling
to virtue, this will come about — but we would be advancing at
the speed of a hen! Never in this way will one reach freedom
of spirit. This is a very good way it seems to me for those who
are in the married state and must live in conformity with their
calling. But for the other state, in no way do I desire such kind
of progress nor will anyone convince me it is good; for I have
tried it; and I would never have moved if the Lord in His
goodness had not taught me another shortcut.
6. Although in this matter of desires I have always had great
ones, I strove for what I have mentioned:^ both to practice
prayer and to live for my own pleasures. I believe that if I might
have had someone to make me fly, I would have turned the
desires into deeds more quickly. But on account of our sins, so
few and so rare are the spiritual masters who are not excessive-
ly discreet in these matters that I believe it is one of the main
reasons why beginners do not advance more rapidly to high
perfection. For the Lord never fails, nor should He be blamed.
We are the failures and miserable ones.
7. Also we can imitate the saints in seeking solitude and silence
and many other virtues that will not kill these woeful bodies that
seek so concertedly to take away these virtues in order to
disconcert the soul; and the devil does a great deal to incapacitate
us when he sees a little fear. He wants no more than to make
126
St. Teresa of Avila
us think that everything is going to kill us and injure our health.
Even tears, he causes us to think, will make us go blind. I went
through this, and so I know. I don't understand what better sight
or health we can desire than to lose them for a reason like this.
Since I am so sickly, I was always tied down without being worth
anything until I determined to pay no attention to the body or
to my health. Now what I do doesn't amount to much; but since
God desired that I understand this trick of the devil, who put
the thought in my head that I would lose my health, I said: What
difference does it make if I die; or at the thought of rest, I
answered: I no longer need rest but the cross; and so with other
thoughts. I have seen clearly that on very many occasions, even
though I am in fact very sickly, that it was a temptation from
the devil or from my own laziness — for afterward when I wasn't
so cared for and pampered, I had much better health.
So it is very important in the initial stages of prayer not to
be intimidated by thoughts; and believe me in this matter because
I know it through experience. And that others might learn from
my difficulties, I can even be of benefit to them by telling these
faults of mine.
8. Another temptation is then very common. Since they begin
to enjoy the serenity and gain that comes, they desire everyone
else to be very spiritual. To desire this is not wrong. Striving
to bring it about could have unhappy results if there is not a
lot of discretion and simulation, doing so in such a way that one
does not appear to be teaching. Whoever should have to work
toward something beneficial in this area must have strong vir-
tues so as not to give temptation to others.
This happened to me — and so I understand it — when, as I
said,4 I strove to get others to practice prayer. Since on the one
hand they heard me speak wonderful things about the great good
contained in the practice of prayer and on the other hand they
observed my great poverty in respect to the virtues, I believe
I was a source of temptation and confusion for them. And with
every reason! Afterward they finally told me they didn't know
how the one was compatible with the other. And the reason for
their considering what in itself was wrong to be all right was
that they saw that I who they thought was good sometimes did it.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 13
127
9. And this confusion is the work of the devil, for apparently
he makes use of the good virtues we have to authorize as much
as he can the evil he is pursuing. For, no matter how small it
may be, when there is question of a community, he must gain
readily — how much more in that the wrong I did was very great.
As a matter of fact, in the course of many years only three profited
from what I said to them.5 And later when the Lord had given
me more strength in virtue, many profited within two or three
years, as I shall afterward say.6 Moreover, there is another
great disadvantage: a gradual backsliding on the part of the soul.
The most we have to strive for in the beginning is to care for
oneself alone and consider that there is nothing on earth but God
and oneself— and this practice is very beneficial.
10. The devil tempts them in another way through distress
over the sins and failings of others. (And all these temptations
come from a zeal for virtue which it is necessary to understand
and be careful about.) He puts it in their heads that this distress
stems only from the desire that God not be offended and from
concern for His honor; and next they seek a remedy. This desire
disquiets them so much that it hinders their prayer; and the
greatest harm lies in their thinking this distress amounts to vir-
tue, perfection, and great zeal for God. I am not speaking about
distress over the public sins of a Congregation — if they should
become a common practice — or about the harm that comes to
the Church from these heresies that give rise to the loss of so
many souls. Such sorrow is very good; and since it is very good,
it does not disquiet.
But the safe path for the soul that practices prayer will be not
to bother about anything or anyone and to pay attention to itself
and to pleasing God. This is important — ah, if I should have
to speak of the mistakes I have seen happen by trusting in the
good intention! But let us strive always to look at the virtues
and good deeds we see in others and cover their defects with
the thought of our own great sins. This is a manner of acting
that, although we cannot do so with perfection right away,
gradually gains for us a great virtue, that is: considering all others
better than ourselves. In this way with the help of God one begins
to acquire this virtue, for it is necessary in all things; and when
128
St. Teresa of Avila
it is lacking, all our efforts are useless. Let us beseech Him to
give us this virtue, for He will not refuse it to anyone who does
his best.
1 1 . This advice should be kept in mind also by those who
reason a great deal with the intellect, deducing many ideas from
one idea and working with concepts. Those like myself who can-
not work with the intellect don't need any advice other than to
be patient until the Lord gives them light and something to be
occupied with. These persons can do so little with their intellects
by themselves that any other counsel would hinder them rather
than help them.
But returning to those who practice discursive reflection, I
say they should not pass the whole time thinking. For, although
discursive reflection is very meritorious, they don't seem to realize
that since their prayer is delightful there should ever be a Sun-
day or a time in which one is not working; but they think such
time is lost. I consider this loss a great gain. But, as I have
said,7 they should put themselves in the presence of Christ and,
without tiring the intellect, speak with and delight in Him and
not wear themselves out in composing syllogisms; rather, they
should show Him their needs and the reason why He doesn't
have to allow us to be in His presence. The discursive reflection
they can do at one time, and the other acts at another, so that
the soul may not grow tired of always eating the same food. These
acts are very delightful and helpful if one's taste becomes ac-
customed to them. They contain a great amount of sustenance
giving the soul life and many benefits.
12.1 want to explain myself further because these matters con-
cerning prayer are all difficult and if one doesn't find a master
for himself, they are very hard to understand. As a result, even
though I want to be brief and just touching upon them is enough
for someone with good intelligence (like the one who ordered
me to write about these matters of prayer), my dullness of mind
does not allow me to explain in a few words something it is so
important to explain well. For since I suffered so much, I pity
those who begin solely with books because it is strange how dif-
ferent what one understands is from what one afterward sees
through experience.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 13
129
But to return to what I was saying:8 let us begin to think
about an episode of the Passion, let's say of when our Lord was
bound to the pillar. The intellect goes in search of reasons for
better understanding the great sorrows and pain His Majesty
suffered in that solitude and many other things that the intellect,
if it works hard, can herein deduce. How much more if it is the
intellect of a learned man! This is the method of prayer with
which all must begin, continue, and finish; and it is a very ex-
cellent and safe path until the Lord leads one to other super-
natural things.
13.1 say "all," but there are many souls that benefit more by
other meditations than those on the sacred Passion. For just as
there are many mansions in heaven,9 there are many paths.
Some persons find it helpful to think about hell, others about
death; some if they have tender hearts experience much fatigue
if they always think about the Passion, and they are refreshed
and helped by considering the power and grandeur of God in
creatures — and the love He bore us, and its manifestation in all
things. This is an admirable method of procedure as long as one
often reflects on the Passion and life of Christ from which has
come and continues to come every good.
14. Beginners need counsel so as to see what helps them most.
For this reason a master is very necessary providing he has ex-
perience. If he doesn't, he can be greatly mistaken and lead a
soul without understanding it nor allowing it to understand itself.
For since it sees that there is great merit in being subject to a
master, it doesn't dare depart from what he commands it. I have
come upon souls intimidated and afflicted for whom I felt great
pity because the one who taught them had no experience; and
there was one person who didn't know what to do with herself.
Since they do not understand spiritual things, these masters af-
flict soul and body and obstruct progress. One of these souls spoke
to me about a master who held her bound for eight years and
wouldn't let her go beyond self knowledge; the Lord had already
brought her to the prayer of quiet, and so she suffered much
tribulation.
15. This path of self knowledge must never be abandoned,
nor is there on this journey a soul so much a giant that it has
130
St. Teresa of Avila
no need to return often to the stage of an infant and a suckling.
And this should never be forgotten. Perhaps I shall speak of it
more often10 because it is very important. There is no stage of
prayer so sublime that it isn't necessary to return often to the
beginning. Along this path of prayer, self knowledge and the
thought of one's sins is the bread with which all palates must
be fed no matter how delicate they may be; they cannot be sus-
tained without this bread. It must be eaten within bounds,
nonetheless. Once a soul sees that it is now submissive and
understands clearly that it has nothing good of itself and is aware
both of being ashamed before so great a King and of repaying
so little of the great amount it owes Him — what need is there
to waste time here? We must go on to other things that the Lord
places before us; and there is no reason to leave them aside, for
His Majesty knows better than we what is fitting for us to eat.
16. So it is very important that the master have prudence — I
mean that he have good judgment — and experience; if besides
these he has learning, so much the better. But if one cannot find
these three qualifications together, the first two are more im-
portant since men with a background in studies can be sought
out and consulted when there is need. I say that if these learned
men do not practice prayer their learning is of little help to begin-
ners. I do not mean that beginners shouldn't consult learned men,
for I would rather a spirit without prayer than one that has not
begun to walk in truth. Also, learning is a great thing because
learned men teach and enlighten us who know little; and, when
brought before the truths of Sacred Scripture, we do what we
ought. May God deliver us from foolish devotions.
17.1 want to explain myself further, for I believe I'm getting
mixed up in many things. I've always had this fault of not know-
ing how to explain myself, as I have said,11 except at the cost
of many words. A nun begins to practice prayer. If a foolish
and whimsical person is directing her, he will explain that it is
better for her to obey him than her superior. He does this without
malice but thinks he is doing right, because if he is not a religious,
such advice will seem to be good. And when dealing with mat-
ters in the home if the person is a married woman, he will tell
her that it is better to remain in prayer even if it displeases her
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 13
131
husband. Thus he doesn't know how to arrange time or things
so that they be conformed to truth. Since he lacks the light
himself, he doesn't know how to enlighten others even though
he may want to do so. And although it seems that learning is
not necessary for such knowledge, my opinion has always been
and will be that every Christian strive to speak if possible with
someone who has gone through studies; and the more learned
the person the better. Those who walk the path of prayer have
a greater need for this counsel; and the more spiritual they are,
the greater their need.
18. Let not the spiritual person be misled by saying that learned
men without prayer are unsuitable for those who practice it. I
have consulted many learned men because for some years now,
on account of a greater necessity, I have sought them out more;
and I've always been a friend of men of learning. For though
some don't have experience, they don't despise the Spirit nor
do they ignore it, because in Sacred Scripture, which they study,
they always find the truth of the good spirit. I hold that the devil
will not deceive with illusions the person of prayer who consults
learned men, unless this person wants to be deceived, because
the devils have a tremendous fear of that learning which is ac-
companied by humility and virtue; and they know they will be
discovered and go away with a loss.
19. I have said this because there are opinions going
around12 that learned men if they are not spiritual are no help
to people who practice prayer. I have already said that it is
necessary to have a spiritual master; but if he is not a learned
man, this lack of learning will be a hindrance. It will be a great
help to consult with learned men. If they are virtuous even though
they may not experience spiritual things, they will benefit me;
and God will enable them to explain what they must teach —
He will even give them spiritual experience so that they might
help us. I do not say this without having experienced it, and
it has happened to me with more than two. I say that if in-
dividuals are going to submit completely to only one master,
they would be greatly mistaken if they did not seek one like this
since if he is a religious he must be subject to his superior. For
perhaps the master will be lacking all the three qualities 13 of
132
St. Teresa of Avila
a good master, which will be no small cross, especially if the soul
is unwilling to submit to one with poor judgment. At least I
haven't been able to submit in this way myself; nor do I think
such submission is fitting. But those who belong to the laity,
let them praise God that they can choose someone to whom they
may be subject and not lose this very virtuous freedom. Let them,
however, postpone having a master until a suitable person is
found, for the Lord will provide one on the condition that all
is founded upon humility and the desire to do the right thing.
I praise God greatly, and women and those who haven't gone
through studies must always be infinitely grateful to Him that
there be someone who by means of so many labors has attained
that truth which ignorant people don't know.
20. I often marvel thinking about learned men, religious
especially, who after the labor it cost them to acquire their
knowledge use it to help me for nothing more than my asking
them — and that there are persons who don't want to benefit from
this labor! May God never allow this to happen! I see these men
subject to the hardships of religious life, which are great, with
its penances and bad food, subject to obedience — so that often
it puts me to shame, certainly; then together with all this, the
lack of sleep; everything a trial, everything a cross. It seems to
me it would be a great wrong to lose so much good through one's
own fault. And it may be that some of us who are free of these
hardships and receive this knowledge already prepared and
served, as they say, and living as we please, think that just
because we spend a little more time in prayer, we merit more
than those who have undergone so many labors.
21 . May You be blessed, Lord, who have made me so unable
and unprofitable! But I praise You very much because You
awaken so many to awaken us. Our prayer for those who give
us light should be unceasing. In the midst of tempests as fierce
as those the Church now endures, what would we be without
them? If some have gone bad, the good ones shine more brilliant-
ly. May it please the Lord to keep them in His hands and help
them so that they might help us, amen.
22. I have wandered greatly from the subject I began to speak
about. But everything is a subject for beginners that their journey
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 14
133
on so lofty a road might begin on the true road. Now returning
to what I was saying about Christ bound at the pillar: it is good
to reflect awhile and think about the pains He suffered there,
and why, and who He is, and the love with which He suffered
them. But one should not always weary oneself in seeking these
reflections but just remain there in His presence with the in-
tellect quiet. And if we are able we should occupy ourselves in
looking at Christ who is looking at us, and we should speak,
and petition, and humble ourselves, and delight in the Lord's
presence, and remember that we are unworthy of being there.
When we can do this, even though it may be at the beginning
of prayer, we will derive great benefit; and this manner of prayer
has many advantages — at least my soul derived them.
I don't know if I have been successful in speaking about this.
Your Reverence will be the judge. May it please the Lord that
I succeed in always giving Him pleasure, amen.
Chapter 14
Begins to explain the second degree o / prayer in which the Lord now starts
to give the soul a more special kind of delight. Explains how this experience
is supernatural. This matter is worth noting.
IT HAS BEEN EXPLAINED now how the garden is watered
by labor and the use of one's arms, drawing the water up from
the well. Let us speak now of the second manner, ordained by
the Lord of the garden, for getting water; that is, by turning
the crank of a water wheel and by aqueducts, the gardener ob-
tains more water with less labor; and he can rest without hav-
ing to work constantly. Well, this method applied to what they
call the prayer of quiet is what I now want to discuss.
2. Here the soul begins to be recollected and comes upon
something supernatural because in no way can it acquire this
prayer through any efforts it may make. True, at one time it
seemingly got tired turning the crank, and working with the in-
tellect, and filling the aqueducts. But here the water is higher,
and so the labor is much less than that required in pulling it
134
St. Teresa of Avila
up from the well. I mean that the water is closer because grace
is more clearly manifest to the soul.
In this prayer the faculties are gathered within so as to enjoy
that satisfaction with greater delight. But they are not lost, nor
do they sleep. Only the will is occupied in such a way that,
without knowing how, it becomes captive; it merely consents
to God allowing Him to imprison it as one who well knows how
to be the captive of its lover. O Jesus and my Lord! How valuable
is Your love to us here! It holds our love so bound that it doesn't
allow it the freedom during that time to love anything else but
You.
3. The other two faculties help the will to be capable of en-
joying so much good — although sometimes it happens that even
though the will is united, they are very unhelpful. But then it
shouldn't pay any attention to them; rather it should remain in
its joy and quietude. Because if the will desires to gather in these
faculties, they both get lost. They are like doves that are
dissatisfied with the food the owner of the dovecot gives them
without their having to work. They go to look for food elsewhere,
but they find it so scarce that they return. And thus these faculties
go away and then come back to see if the will might give them
what it enjoys. If the Lord desires to throw them some food,
they stop; and if not, they return to their search. And they must
think they are benefiting the will; and sometimes in desiring the
memory or imagination to represent to the will what they're en-
joying, they do the will harm. Well, then, be advised to behave
toward them as I shall explain.1
4. All this that takes place here brings with it the greatest con-
solation and with so little labor that prayer does not tire one,
even though it lasts for a long while. The intellect's work here
is very slow-paced, and it obtains a lot more water than it pulled
out of the well. The tears God gives are now accompanied by
joy; however, although they are experienced, there is no striv-
ing for them.
5. This water of great blessings and favors that the Lord gives
here makes the virtues grow incomparably better than in the
previous degree of prayer, for the soul is now ascending above
its misery and receiving a little knowledge of the delights of glory.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 14
135
This water I believe makes the virtues grow better and also brings
the soul much closer to the true Virtue, which is God, from
whence come all the virtues. His Majesty is beginning to com-
municate Himself to this soul, and He wants it to experience
how He is doing so.
In arriving here it begins soon to lose its craving for earthly
things — and little wonder! It sees clearly that one moment of
the enjoyment of glory cannot be experienced here below, neither
are there riches, or sovereignties, or honors, or delights that are
able to provide a brief moment of that happiness, for it is a true
happiness that, it is seen, satisfies us. In earthly things it would
seem to me a marvel were we ever to understand just where we
can find this satisfaction, for there is never lacking in these earth-
ly things both the "yes" and the "no." During the time of this
prayer, everything is "yes." The "no" comes afterward upon seeing
that the delight is ended and that one cannot recover it — nor
does one know how. Were one to crush self with penances and
prayer and all the rest, it would profit little if the Lord did not
desire to give this delight. God in His greatness desires that this
sou] understand that He is so close it no longer needs to send
Him messengers but can speak with Him itself and not by
shouting since He is so near that when it merely moves its lips,
He understands it.
6. It seems impertinent to say this since we know that God
always understands us and is with us. There is no doubt about
this understanding and presence. But our Emperor and Lord
desires that in this prayer we know that He understands us, and
what His presence does, and that He wants to begin to work
in the soul in a special way. All of this that the Lord desires is
manifest in the great interior and exterior satisfaction He gives
the soul and in the difference there is, as I said,2 between this
delight and happiness and the delights of earth, for this delight
seems to fill the void that through our sins we have caused in
the soul. This satisfaction takes place in its very intimate depths,
and the soul doesn't know where the satisfaction comes from or
how, nor frequently does it know what to do or what to desire
or what to ask for. It seems it has found everything at once and
doesn't know what it has found.
136
St. Teresa of Avila
Nor do I know how to explain this experience because for so
many things learning is necessary. Here it would be helpful to
explain well the difference between a general and a particular
grace — for there are many who are ignorant of this difference —
and how the Lord desires that the soul in this prayer almost see
with its own eyes, as they say, this particular grace. Learning
is also required to explain many other things, which I perhaps
did not express correctly. But since what I say is going to be
checked by persons who will recognize any error, I'm not wor-
rying about it. In matters of theology as well as in those of the
spirit I know that I can be mistaken; yet, since this account will
end in good hands, these learned men will understand and
remove what is erroneous.
7. Still, I should like to explain this experience because we
are dealing with beginners; and when the Lord begins to grant
these favors, the soul itself doesn't understand them nor does
it know what to do with itself. For if the Lord leads it along the
path of fear, as He did me, it is a great trial if there is no one
to understand it. To see itself described brings it intense joy,
and then it sees clearly the path it is walking on. It is a great
good to know what one must do in order to advance in any of
these stages. For I have suffered much and have lost a great deal
of time for not knowing what to do, and I pity souls greatly who
find themselves alone when they arrive at this stage. Even though
I have read many spiritual books and they touch upon the rele-
vant points, the explanations are brief; and if the soul is not very
experienced, even were the explanations ample, it would have
a hard time understanding itself.
8. I desire very much that the Lord help me explain the ef-
fects caused in the soul by these things that are now beginning
to be supernatural so that through the effects one may know when
they are the work of God's spirit. I say "one may know," but
I mean in conformity with what one can know here below. It
is always good that we walk with fear and caution. For, although
the work may be from God, the devil at times can transform
himself into an angel of light; and if the soul has not a great
deal of experience, it will not discern the devil's work — and, in
fact, it must have so much experience that it needs to come close
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 14
137
to the very summit of prayer in order to have such discernment.
The little time at my disposal is little help to me and so His
Majesty must come to my aid. I have to follow the community
life and have many other duties since I am in a house which
is just beginning,3 as will be seen afterward. As a result, I write
without the time and calm for it, and bit by bit. I should like
to have time, because when the Lord gives the spirit, things are
put down with ease and in a much better way. Putting them
down is then like copying a model you have before your eyes.
But if the spirit is lacking, it is more difficult to speak about these
things than to speak Arabic,4 as the saying goes, even though
many years may have been spent in prayer. As a result, it seems
to me most advantageous to have this experience while I am
writing, because I see clearly that it is not I who say what I write;
for neither do I plan it with the intellect nor do I know after-
ward how I managed to say it. This often happens to me.
9. Let us now return to our garden and see how these trees
are beginning to bud so as to blossom and afterward give fruit —
and also the flowers and carnations so as to give forth their
fragrance. This comparison has its charm for me because often
in my beginnings (and, please the Lord, I may have now begun
to serve His Majesty; I mean the beginnings of what I shall say
from here on about my life) it was a great delight for me to con-
sider my soul as a garden and reflect that the Lord was taking
His walk in it. I begged Him to increase the fragrance of the
little flowers of virtue that were beginning to bloom, so it seemed,
and that they might give Him glory and He might sustain them
since I desired nothing for myself — and that He might cut the
ones He wanted, for I already knew that better ones would flower.
I say "cut" because there are times when the soul has no thought
of this garden. Everything seems to be dry, and it seems there
is not going to be any water to sustain it — nor does it appear
that there has ever been in the soul anything of virtue. It
undergoes much tribulation because the Lord desires that it seem
to the poor gardener that everything acquired in watering and
keeping the garden up is being lost. This dryness amounts to
an authentic weeding and pulling up of the remaining bad growth
by its roots, no matter how small it may be. By knowing that
138
St. Teresa of Avila
there is no diligence that suffices if God takes away the water
of grace and by placing little value on the nothing that we are,
and even less than nothing, the soul gains much humility. The
flowers begin to grow again.
10. O my Lord and my God! I cannot say this without tears
and great joy of soul! How You desire, Lord, thus to be with
us and to be present in the Sacrament (for in all truth this can
be believed since it is so, and in the fullness of truth we can make
this comparison); and if it were not for our fault, we could re-
joice in being with You, and You would be glad to be with us
since You say that Your delight is to be with the children of the
earth. } O my Lord! What is this? As often as I hear these
words, they bring me great consolation; they did so even when
I was very far gone. Is it possible, Lord, that there be a soul
that reaches the point where You bestow similar favors and gifts,
and understands that You are to be with it, that goes back to
offending You after so many favors and after such striking
demonstrations of the love You have for it which cannot be
doubted since the effects of it are obvious? Yes, there certainly
is one, and not one who has done this once but done it many
times — for it is I. And may it please your goodness, Lord, that
I might be the only ungrateful one and the only one who has
done such terrible evil and shown such excessive ingratitude.
But even from this evil, Your infinite goodness has drawn out
something worth-while; and the greater the evil, the more
resplendent the wonder of Your mercies. And how many are
the reasons I can sing Your mercies forever!
1 1 . I beseech You, my God, that it may be so and that I may
sing them without end since You have deigned to bestow upon
me mercies so outstanding they amaze those who see them; and
as for me, they frequently carry me out of myself to praise You
the better. By remaining in myself without You, I could do
nothing, my Lord, but return to cutting the garden flowers in
such a way that this miserable ground would once more serve
for a trash heap as it did previously. Do not permit it, Lord,
or desire the loss of the soul You bought with so many labors
and which You have so often gone back again to rescue and save
from the teeth of the terrifying dragon.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 15
139
12. May your Reverence pardon me,h for I have gone off the
subject; and don't be surprised, because in speaking about myself
I am dealing with my feelings, and therefore it is often very dif-
ficult to resist continuing to proclaim the praises of God as I
put down in writing the many things T owe Him. And I don't
think these praises will cause displeasure to your Reverence, for
we both, it seems to me, can sing the same thing even though
in a different way — because what T owe God is much more since
He has pardoned me more,7 as your Reverence knows.
Chapter 15
Continues on the same subject and gives some advice about how to act
in this prayer of quiet. Discusses the fact that many souls reach this prayer
but few pass beyond. Knowledge of the things touched on here is very
necessary and beneficial.
NOW LET'S RETURN TO THE SUBJECT. This
quietude and recollection is something that is clearly felt
through the satisfaction and peace bestowed on the soul, along
with great contentment and calm and a very gentle delight in
the faculties. It seems to the soul, since it hasn't gone further,
that there's nothing left to desire and that it should willingly say
with St. Peter that it will make its dwelling there.1 It dares not
move or stir, for it seems that good will slip through its hands —
nor would it even want to breathe sometimes. The poor little
thing doesn't understand that since by its own efforts it can do
nothing to draw that good to itself, so much less will it be able
to keep it for longer than the Lord desires.
I have already mentioned that in this first recollection and
quiet the soul's faculties do not cease functioning. But the soul
is so satisfied with God that as long as the recollection lasts, the
quiet and calm are not lost since the will is united with God even
though the two faculties are distracted; in fact, little by little the
will brings the intellect and the memory back to recollection.
Because even though the will may not be totally absorbed, it
is so well occupied, without knowing how, that no matter what
140
St. Teresa of Avila
efforts the other two faculties make, they cannot take away its
contentment and joy. But rather with hardly any effort the will
is gradually helped so that this little spark of love of God may
not go out.
2. May it please His Majesty to give me grace to explain this
state well because there are many, many souls who reach it but
few that pass beyond; and I don't know whose fault it is. Most
surely God does not fail, for once His Majesty has granted a
soul the favor of reaching this stage, I don't believe He will fail
to grant it many more favors unless through its own fault.
It is very important that the soul reaching this stage realize
the great dignity of its state and the great favor the Lord has
bestowed on it and how with good reason it must not belong
to the earth because it now seems His goodness will make it a
citizen of heaven, provided it doesn't stop through its own fault;
and unhappy it will be if it turns back. I think turning back would
mean falling to the bottom, as I was doing, if the mercy of the
Lord hadn't rescued me. For the most part, in my opinion, this
turning back will come through serious faults; nor is it possible
to leave so much good without the blindness caused by much evil.
3. Thus, for the love of the Lord, I beg those whom His Ma-
jesty has so highly favored in the attainment of this state that
they understand it and esteem it with a humble and holy con-
fidence so as not to return to the fleshpots of Egypt.2 If through
weakness and wickedness and a miserable nature they should
fall, as I did, let them keep ever in mind the good they have
lost and be suspicious and walk with the fear — for they are right
in doing so — that if they don't return to prayer, they will go from
bad to worse. What I call a true fall is abhorrence of the path
by which one gained so much good; and to these souls I am speak-
ing. For I am not saying that they should never offend God or
fall into sin, although it would be right for anyone who has begun
to receive these favors to be very much on guard against sin-
ning; but we are miserable creatures. What I advise strongly
is not to abandon prayer, for in prayer people will understand
what they are doing and win repentance from the Lord and for-
titude to lift themselves up. And you must believe that if you
give up prayer, you are, in my opinion, courting danger. I don't
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 15
141
know if I understand what I'm saying because, as I said,s I'm
judging by myself.
4. This prayer, then, is a little spark of the Lord's true love
which He begins to enkindle in the soul; and He desires that
the soul grow in the understanding of what this love accompanied
by delight is. For anyone who has experience, it is impossible
not to understand soon that this little spark cannot be acquired.
Yet, this nature of ours is so eager for delights that it tries
everything; but it is quickly left cold because however much it
may desire to light the fire and obtain this delight, it doesn't seem
to be doing anything else than throwing water on it and killing
it. If this quietude and recollection and little spark is from God's
spirit and not a delight given by the devil or procured by
ourselves, it will be noticed no matter how small it is. And if
we don't extinguish it through our own fault, it is what will begin
to enkindle the large fire that (as I shall mention in its place)4
throws forth flames of the greatest love of God which His Ma-
jesty gives to perfect souls.
5. This little spark is the sign or the pledge God gives to this
soul that He now chooses it for great things if it will prepare
itself to receive them. This spark is a great gift, much more so
than I can express.
As I say,5 I know many souls that reach this stage, but to me
it is a terrible pity that those that pass beyond, as they should,
are so few I am ashamed to mention it. I do not mean there
are few; there must be many, for there must be some reason
why God allows us to live. I am speaking from what I have seen.
I should very much like to advise these souls to be careful not
to hide the talent6 since it seems God desires to choose them to
bring profit to many others, especially in these times when
staunch friends of God are necessary to sustain the weak. And
those who are aware of this favor within themselves may con-
sider that they are such friends if they know how to respond ac-
cording to the laws that even a good friendship in the world
demands; otherwise, as I said,7 they should be fearful lest they
bring evil upon themselves — and please God it would then fall
only upon themselves!
6. What the soul must do during these times of quiet amounts
142
St. Teresa of Avila
to no more than proceeding gently and noiselessly. What I call
noise is running about with the intellect looking for many words
and reflections so as to give thanks for this gift and piling up
one's sins and faults in order to see that the gift is unmerited.
Everything is motion here; the intellect is representing, and the
memory hurrying about. For certainly these faculties tire me
out from time to time; and although I have a poor memory, I
cannot subdue it. The will calmly and wisely must understand
that one does not deal well with God by force and that our ef-
forts are like the careless use of large pieces of wood which
smother this little spark. One should realize this and humbly
say: "Lord, what am I capable of here? What has the servant
to do with the Lord — or earth with heaven?" Or other words
that at this time come to mind out of love and well grounded
in the knowledge that what is said is the truth. And one should
pay no attention to the intellect, for it is a grinding mill. The
will may desire to share what it enjoys or may work to recollect
the intellect, for often it will find itself in this union and calm
while the intellect wanders about aimlessly. It is better that the
will leave the intellect alone than go after it, and that it remain
like a wise bee in the recollection and in enjoyment of that gift.
For if no bee were to enter the beehive and each were employed
in going after the other, no honey could be made.
7. As a result, the soul will lose a great deal if it isn't careful
in this matter, especially if the intellect is keen. For when the
soul begins to compose speeches and search for ideas, though
insignificant, it will think it is doing something if they are well
expressed. The idea it should have here is a clear understand-
ing that there isn't any idea that will make God give us so great
a favor but that this favor comes only from His goodness; and
it should be aware that we are very near His Majesty and ask
for His gifts and pray for the Church and for those who have
asked for our prayers and for the souls in purgatory, not with
the noise of words but with longing that He hear us. This is a
kind of prayer that includes many things and in which more is
obtained than through a great deal of reflection by the intellect.
Let the will awaken within itself some spontaneous considera-
tions verifying its progress so as to quicken this love, and let
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 15
143
it make some loving acts about what it will do for one to whom
it owes so much without, as I said,8 admitting noise from the
intellect which goes about looking for great concepts. In fact,
a little straw put there with humility — and it will be less than
a straw if we put it on ourselves — will serve the purpose and
help more to enkindle the fire than a lot of wood along with much
learned reasoning. These, in our opinion, would smother the
spark within the space of a Creed.
This advice is good for the learned men who ordered me to
write. For, through the goodness of God, all may reach this
prayer; and it may happen that these learned men will pass the
time in making scriptural applications. Although their studies
will not cease to benefit them a lot before and afterward, here
during these periods of prayer there is little need for learning,
in my opinion; rather, their studies will make the will tepid. For
in seeing itself near the light, the intellect then has the greatest
clarity; and I, though being what I am, seem to be another
person.
8. And, in fact, it has happened to me that while in this
quietude, and understanding hardly anything of the Latin
prayers, especially of the psalter, I have not only understood
how to render the Latin verse in the vernacular but have gone
beyond to rejoicing in the meaning of the verse.
I am not speaking of those who have to preach or teach, for
in that case it is good to take advantage of those studies so as
to aid the poor ones who, like myself, have little knowledge.
Charity in helping souls is always a great thing, provided this
help is given for God alone.
Therefore, in these times of quietude, let the soul remain in
its repose; let them put their learning to one side. The time will
come when it will be useful for the Lord; they should esteem
it so that they do not desire to abandon it for any treasure but
to use it only to serve His Majesty, for it is very helpful. Believe
me, in the presence of infinite Wisdom, a little study of humili-
ty and one act of humility is worth more than all the knowledge
of the world. Here there is no demand for reasoning but for
knowing what as a matter of fact we are and for placing ourselves
(with simplicity) in God's presence, for He desires the soul to
144
St. Teresa of Avila
become ignorant in His presence, as indeed it is. His Majesty
humbles Himself so much that He allows us to be near Him
in spite of what we are.
9. The intellect is also stirred to compose prayers of thanksgiv-
ing; but the will, calmly, without daring to raise its eyes, like
the publican,9 gives better thanks than the intellect can perhaps
express with all its rhetorical artifices. Finally, at this stage one
doesn't have to renounce completely discursive mental prayer
or the use of some words, or even vocal prayers if there should
be the desire or ability; if the quiet is great, it is difficult to speak
without a good deal of effort.
We can discern, in my opinion, whether this quiet comes from
the spirit of God or whether we procure it ourselves once God
begins to give devotion and we, as I said,10 want to pass on to
the quiet through our own efforts. When we procure the quiet
ourselves, it produces no effect, quickly goes away, and leaves
behind aridity.
10. If the quiet is from the devil, I think an experienced soul
will recognize this because it results in disturbance and a lack
of humility and of preparation for the effects which the prayer
coming from God produces. It doesn't leave light in the intellect
or constancy in truth. The devil can do little harm or none at
all if the soul directs to God the delight and sweetness it feels
and fixes its thoughts and desires upon Him, as was advised.
The devil can't gain anything; rather, God will permit that the
devil, by means of the very delight he causes in the soul, will
lose much. For this delight will prompt the soul — since it thinks
God gives the delight — to return often to prayer with longing
for the Lord. And if it is a humble soul and not inquisitive or
concerned about delights, even though they be spiritual, but a
friend of the cross, it will pay little attention to the consolation
given by the devil. It will be unable to pay little attention to the
consolation coming from the spirit of God but will highly esteem
it. But anything the devil gives is like himself; a total lie. When
the devil sees that in this consolation the soul humbles itself (for
in this experience it must have much humility, as in all matters
of prayer), he will not return often, because he sees his loss.
11. For this reason and many others, I counselled in dealing
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 15
145
with the first mode of prayer, the first water,11 that it is an im-
portant matter for beginners in prayer to start off by becoming
detached from every kind of satisfaction and to enter the path
solely with the determination to help Christ carry the cross like
good cavaliers, who desire to serve their king at no salary since
their salary is certain. We should fix our eyes on the true and
everlasting kingdom which we are trying to gain. It is very im-
portant to keep this kingdom always in mind, especially in the
beginning. For afterward it is seen so clearly that rather than
striving to keep remembering the short time everything lasts and
how everything is nothing and how rest should be considered
no more than a trifle, it is necessary to forget these things in
order to live.
12. It seems this is a very poor way of thinking — and so it
is. For those who are advanced in perfection would consider it
an affront and would be ashamed if they thought they should
give up the good things of this world because these things will
come to an end; even if these things were to last forever, ad-
vanced souls would be happy to renounce them for God. And
the more perfect these souls are, the happier they would be; and
the longer the things last, still happier would they be. For here
in these souls love has now increased, and it is love that is at
work. But for beginners this advice is most important, and they
should not hold it in little esteem, for what is obtained is a great
good — and that is why I give this advice so strongly. This ad-
vice will even be necessary sometimes for those who have reached
a very exalted prayer when God desires to try them and when
it seems that His Majesty is abandoning them. As I already
said,12 and I wouldn't want this to be forgotten, in this life the
soul doesn't grow like the body, even though we say it grows —
and in fact it does. After a child grows up and develops a strong
body and becomes an adult, the body doesn't dwindle and grow
small again. But in the case of the soul, the Lord desires this
to happen, according to what I have seen for myself; for other-
wise I wouldn't know. The purpose must be to humiliate us for
our own great good and so that we might not become careless
while in this exile, since the one who goes highest must fear the
most and trust the less in self. There come times when it is
146
St. Teresa of Avila
necessary for these souls to protect themselves from offending
God. Their wills are so fixed in His that rather than commit
an imperfection, they would allow themselves to be tormented
and would suffer a thousand deaths. But since they are attacked
by temptations and persecutions, it becomes necessary, in order
to avoid sin, to make use of prayer's first weapons and return
to the thought that everything will end and that there is a heaven
and a hell and other things of this sort.
13. Well, returning to what I was saying,15 a solid founda-
tion for the protection of oneself from the tricks and consola-
tions coming from the devil is to begin with the determination
to follow the way of the cross and not desire consolations, since
the Lord Himself pointed out this way of perfection saying: take
up your cross and follow me.H He is our model; whoever follows
His counsels solely for the sake of pleasing Him has nothing to
fear.
14. In the progress they observe in themselves they will know
that the devil is not the cause if, even though they fall again,
there remains a sign that the Lord was present in their prayer:
and it is that they rise again quickly. There are other signs as
well which I shall now mention. When the prayer comes from
God's spirit, there is no need to go dredging up things in order
to derive some humility and shame because the Lord Himself
gives this prayer in a manner very different from that which we
gain through our nice little reasonings. For such humility is
nothing in comparison with the true humility the Lord with His
light here teaches and which causes an embarrassment that un-
does one. It is well known that God gives a knowledge that makes
us realize we have no good of ourselves; and the greater the
favors, the greater is this knowledge. He bestows a strong desire
to advance in prayer and not abandon it no matter what trial
may come upon one. The soul offers itself up in all things. It
feels sure, while still being humble and fearing, that it will be
saved. He casts out from it all servile fear and grants a more
mature trusting fear. It is aware of the beginning of a love of
God that has much less self-interest. It desires periods of solitude
in order to enjoy that good more.
15. In sum, so as not to tire myself, this prayer of quiet is
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 16
147
the beginning of all blessings. The flowers are already at the point
in which hardly anything is lacking for them to bud; and the
soul sees this very clearly. In no way is it able to believe at that
time that God is not with it. When it sees again the cracks and
imperfections in itself, it then fears everything. And it is good
that it is fearful, although there are some souls that profit more
by believing that this prayer comes certainly from God than by
all the fears possible. For if by nature someone is loving and
grateful, the memory of the favor God has granted does more
to bring such a person back to God than all the infernal
punishments imaginable. At least this happened in my case, even
though I am so wretched.
16. Because the signs of the good spirit will be mentioned as
I go along and it is so difficult for me to explain them well, I
won't speak of them now. I believe that with the help of God
I shall in this way somehow succeed. Apart from my experience
in which I have understood a great deal, I know about these
from some very learned men and very holy persons who are
worthy of belief. And when souls reach this stage, through the
goodness of God, may they not go about as wearied as I did.
Chapter 16
Treats of the third degree of prayer. Explains sublime matters and what
the soul that reaches this stage can do and the effects produced by these
great favors of the Lord. This chapter lifts the soul up in the praises of
God and brings wonderful consolation to whoever reaches this stage.
LET US COME NOW to speak of the third water by which
this garden is irrigated, that is, the water flowing from a
river or spring. By this means the garden is irrigated with much
less labor, although some labor is required to direct the flow of
the water. The Lord so desires to help the gardener here that
He Himself becomes practically the gardener and the one who
does everything.
This prayer is a sleep of the faculties: the faculties neither fail
entirely to function nor understand how they function. The con-
solation, the sweetness, and the delight are incomparably greater
148
St. Teresa of Avila
than that experienced in the previous prayer. The water of grace
rises up to the throat of this soul since such a soul can no longer
move forward; nor does it know how; nor can it move backward.
It would desire to enjoy the greatest glory. It is like a person
who is already holding the candle and for whom little is left before
dying the death that is desired: such a one rejoices in that agony
with the greatest delight describable. This experience doesn't
seem to me to be anything else than an almost complete death
to all earthly things and an enjoyment of God.
I don't know any other terms for describing it or how to ex-
plain it. Nor does the soul then know what to do because it doesn't
know whether to speak or to be silent, whether to laugh or to
weep. This prayer is a glorious foolishness, a heavenly madness
where the true wisdom is learned; and it is for the soul a most
delightful way of enjoying.
2. In fact five or even six years ago the Lord often gave me
this prayer in abundance, and I didn't understand it; nor did
I know how to speak of it. Thus it was my intention, at this point,
to say very little or nothing at all. I did understand clearly that
it was not a complete union of all the faculties and that this type
of prayer was more excellent than the previous one. But I con-
fess that I couldn't discern or understand where the difference
lay. I believe that on account of the humility your Reverence1
has shown in desiring to be helped by as simple-minded a per-
son as myself, the Lord today after Communion granted me this
prayer; and interrupting my thanksgiving, He put before me
these comparisons, taught me the manner of explaining it, and
what the soul must do here. Certainly I was startled and I
understood at once. Often I had been as though bewildered and
inebriated in this love, and never was I able to understand its
nature. I understood clearly that it was God's work, but I couldn't
understand how He was working in this stage. For the truth of
the matter is that the faculties are almost totally united with God
but not so absorbed as not to function. I am extremely pleased
that I now understand it. Blessed be the Lord who so favored me!
3. The faculties have only the ability to be occupied completely
with God. It doesn't seem that any one of them dares to move,
nor can we make them stir unless we strain to distract ourselves;
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 16
149
but even then I don't think we could do so entirely. One utters
many words here in praise of God without thinking them up,
unless it is the Lord who thinks them up; at least the intellect
is worth nothing here. The soul would desire to cry out praises,
and it is beside itself— a delightful disquiet. Now the flowers are
blossoming; they are beginning to spread their fragrance. The
soul would desire here that everyone could see and understand
its glory so as to praise God and that they would all help it to
praise Him and share in its joy since it cannot bear so much
joy. I think it is like what is said in the Gospels about the woman
that wanted to call or did call in her neighbors.2. This joy it
seems to me must have been what was felt in the admirable spirit
of the royal prophet David when he played on the harp and sang
the praises of God. I'm very devoted to this glorious king, and
I would desire all to be so, especially those of us who are
sinners.3
4. Oh, help me God! What is the soul like when it is in this
state! It would want to be all tongues so as to praise the Lord.
It speaks folly in a thousand holy ways, ever trying to find means
of pleasing the one who thus possesses it. I know a person who
though not a poet suddenly composed some deeply-felt verses
well expressing her pain. They were not composed by the use
of her intellect; rather, in order that she enjoy the glory so
delightful a distress gave to her, she complained of it in this way
to God. She desired all her body and soul to break in pieces to
demonstrate the joy she felt in this pain. What torments can then
be offered her that will not give her delight when she suffers them
for her Lord? I see clearly that the martyrs did nothing of
themselves in suffering torments, for the soul well knows that
fortitude comes from another. But what will it feel in returning
to its senses so as to live in the world and in having to return
to the world's cares and formalities?
Well, it doesn't seem to me that I have exaggerated. Nothing
can compare with the delight the Lord desires a soul to enjoy
in this exile. May You be blessed forever, Lord! May all things
praise You forever! Since while I write this I am not freed from
such holy, heavenly madness coming from Your goodness and
mercy — for You grant this favor without any merits on my part
150
St. Teresa of Avila
at all — either desire, my King, I beseech You, that all to whom
I speak become mad from Your love, or do not permit that I
speak to anyone! Either ordain, Lord, that I no longer pay at-
tention to anything in the world, or take me out of it! No longer
my God, can this servant of Yours suffer the many trials that
come from seeing herself without You since if she must live, she
desires no rest — nor should You give it to her! This soul would
now want to see itself free — eating kills it; sleeping distresses it.
It observes that its lifetime is passing in pleasure and that nothing
other than You can give it pleasure any longer; for since it desires
to live no longer in itself but in You, it seems that its life is
unnatural.
5. O true Lord and my Glory! How delicate and extremely
heavy a cross You have prepared for those who reach this state!
"Delicate" because it is pleasing; "heavy" because there come times
when there is no capacity to bear it; and yet the soul would never
want to be freed from it unless it were for the sake of being with
You. When it recalls that it hasn't served You in anything and
that by living it can serve You, it would want to carry a much
heavier cross and never die until the end of the world. It finds
no rest in anything except in doing You some small service. It
doesn't know what it wants, but it well understands that it wants
nothing other than You.
6. O my son!4 (The one to whom this is addressed and who
ordered me to write this is so humble that he wants to be so
called.) Let some of these things which your Reverence sees that
I go to excess in be for you alone. There is no reason sufficient
to prevent me from this excess when the Lord carries me out
of myself— nor since this morning when I received Communion
do I think it is I who am speaking. It seems that what I see is
a dream, and I would desire to see no other persons than those
who are sick with this sickness I now have. I beg your Reverence
that we may all be mad for love of Him who for love of us was
called mad. Since your Reverence says that you love me, prove
it to me by preparing yourself so that God may grant you this
favor; I see very few who do not have much more discretion
than is necessary for their spiritual progress. It could well be
that I am the one who abounds in this more than all others. Don't
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 16
151
allow this to happen to me, my Father (since you are also like
a son), for you are my confessor and the one to whom I have
entrusted my soul. Disillusion me with truth since these truths
are seldom made use of.
7. I should like the five of us who at present love each other
in Christ"' to make a kind of pact that since others in these
times gather together in secret against His Majesty to prepare
wicked deeds and heresies, we might seek to gather together some
time to free each other from illusion and to speak about how
we might mend our ways and please God more since we do not
know ourselves as well as others who observe us if they do so
with love and concern for our progress. I say we should gather
in secret because this kind of talk is no longer in fashion. Even
preachers are composing their sermons so as not to displease.
They may have good intentions, and the good deeds may follow;
but the result is that few try to amend! But why don't sermons
influence many to give up public vice? Do you know my opi-
nion? Those who preach are very cautious; they don't have the
great fire of love of God that the Apostles did, and so the flame
has little power to enkindle. I don't say the fire should be as in-
tense as that of the Apostles, but would that it were greater than
what I see. Does your Reverence know what ought to be stress-
ed? That souls abhor their lives and hold their reputations in
little esteem, that — providing they tell the truth and uphold it
for the glory of God — they pay little attention to whether or not
they lose or gain all. Those who in fact risk all for God will find
that they have both lost all and gained all. I don't say that I'm
like this, but I wish I were.
8. Oh what great freedom to consider it a captivity to have
to live and behave in conformity with the laws of the world: Since
this freedom is obtained from the Lord, there are no slaves who
would not risk all in order to be redeemed and return to their
country. Since this is the true way, there is no reason to stop
in the middle; otherwise we will never completely gain so great
a treasure until life is finished. May the Lord grant us the favor
of obtaining it.
Tear up what I have just said, if your Reverence thinks you
should, as though it were a private letter to you, and pardon
152
St. Teresa of Avila
me for I have been very bold.
Chapter 17
Continues with the same subject, the explanation of this third degree of
prayer. Concludes the discussion of its effects. Speaks of the harm caused
here by the imagination and memory.
A REASONABLE ACCOUNT has been given of this kind
of prayer and of what the soul must do, or better, what
God does in it, for it is He who now takes on the task of gardener
and wants it to rest. The will only gives its consent to these favors
it enjoys; and it should offer itself to all that the true Wisdom
desires to do in it because courage is certainly necessary. For
the joy is so great that it sometimes seems the soul is at the very
point of going forth from the body. And what a happy death
that would be!
2. Here I think it is advisable, as I told your Reverence,1 to
abandon oneself completely into the hands of God: if He wants
to bring the soul to heaven, it goes, if to hell, it feels no grief
since it goes with its God; if its life comes to an end, this it desires;
if it lives a thousand years, this too it desires. Let His Majesty
treat it as His own — the soul no longer belongs to itself. It is
given over entirely to the Lord — it completely overlooks itself.
I say that when God gives the soul so lofty a prayer, it can do
all of this and much more since these are its effects. And it
understands that it does so without tiring the intellect. I only
think it is amazed at seeing how good a gardener the Lord is
and how He doesn't desire it to do any of the work other than
delight in the fragrance the flowers are beginning to give. For
in one of these visits, however brief, the water is given without
measure because the gardener is who He is — in truth, the creator
of the water. And what the poor soul could not achieve in about
twenty years with its labors to bring repose to the intellect, this
heavenly gardener accomplishes in a moment. And the fruit
grows and matures in such a way that the soul can be sustained
from its garden if the Lord so desires. But He doesn't give it
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 17
153
permission to distribute fruit until it is very strong from what
it has eaten; otherwise it will be giving it to others to taste without
their receiving any profit or gain, maintaining them and giving
them to eat at its own cost; and perhaps i( will itself be left dead
from hunger. This possibility has been cxpk.med well for those
who are learned men, and they will know how to make the ap-
plication better than I know how to explain it through my own
efforts.
3. In sum, the virtues are now stronger than in the previous
prayer of quiet. The soul can't ignore them, because it seems
that it is different and doesn't know how this happened. It begins
to perform great deeds by means of the fragrance the flowers
give, for the Lord desires that they bloom so that it may see that
it possesses virtue although it is very clearly aware that it couldn't
have acquired them — nor was it able to — in many years, and
also that in that moment the heavenly gardener gave them. Here
the humility that remains in the soul is much greater and more
profound than in the past. The soul sees more clearly that it did
neither little nor much other than consent to the Lord's favors
and embrace them with its will.
It seems to me this kind of prayer is a very apparent union
of the whole soul with God. But seemingly His Majesty desires
to give leeway to the faculties so that they may understand and
rejoice in the many things He is accomplishing here.
4. In order that your Reverence may see what can happen
and understand when it does happen to you — at least I was con-
fused for a while, and that's why I'm speaking of it here — let
me say that it sometimes, or very often, comes about that while
the will is united, the soul sees clearly and understands that the
will is held fast and is rejoicing. I say "it sees clearly," and that
the will alone is in deep quiet; and the intellect and the memory,
on the other hand, are so free that they can tend to business
affairs and engage in works of charity.
Although this prayer seems entirely the same as the prayer
of quiet I mentioned,2 it is different — partly because in the
prayer of quiet the soul didn't desire to move or stir, rejoicing
in that holy idleness of Mary; and in this prayer it can also be
Martha in such a way that it is as though engaged in both the
154
St. Teresa of Avila
active and contemplative life together. It tends to works of charity
and to business affairs that have to do with its state of life and
to reading; although it isn't master of itself completely. And it
understands clearly that the best part of the soul is somewhere
else. It's as though we were speaking to someone at our side and
from the other side another person were speaking to us; we
wouldn't be fully attentive to either the one or the other. This
prayer is something that is felt very clearly, and it gives deep
satisfaction and happiness when it is experienced. It is an ex-
cellent preparation so that the soul may reach a profound quiet
when it has time for solitude, or leisure from business matters.
It causes the soul to go about like people whose appetite is satisfied
and who have no need to eat but feel that they have taken enough
so that they wouldn't desire just any kind of food; yet they are
not so filled that they wouldn't eagerly eat some if it were tempt-
ing to the appetite. The soul is therefore neither content with
nor desirous of the world's satisfactions, because it has in itself
what pleases it more; greater consolations from God — desires
to satisfy its desire to enjoy Him more and to be with Him. Be-
ing with Him is what it wants.
5. There is another kind of union, which, although it is not
a complete union, is greater than the union just mentioned but
not as great as that which was mentioned in reference to this
third water.3
Since the Lord may give them all to you if you have not already
received them, your Reverence will be pleased to find them writ-
ten down and will understand what they are. For it is one grace
to receive the Lord's favor; another, to understand which favor
and grace it is; and a third, to know how to describe and ex-
plain it. And although no more than the first grace seems
necessary, it is a great advantage and a gift for the soul that it
also understand the favor so as not to go about confused and
afraid — and so that it may become more courageous in follow-
ing the path of the Lord, trampling under its feet all worldly
things. Each one of these graces is a reason for those who receive
it to praise the Lord greatly and, also, for those who may not
receive it to praise Him because His Majesty gave it to one of
the living so that that person might help the rest of us.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 17
155
Well, now, this kind of union I wish to explain often
happens — especially to me since God frequently gives me this
kind of favor. For God takes to Himself the will and even the
intellect, it seems to me, so that it might not engage in discourse
but be occupied with rejoicing in Him like those who are con-
templating and who see so much that they don't know where
to fix their gaze — looking now here, now there, without being
able to perceive clearly any one thing. The memory remains free,
but it seems to be joined with the imagination. And since it sees
itself alone,1 the war it wages is something to behold — how it
strives to disturb everything. As for me, I find the memory
tiresome and abhorrrent; and I often beseech the Lord that He
take it away during these periods if it is going to bother me so
much. Sometimes I say to Him: "When, my God, will my soul
be completely joined together in Your praise and not broken
in pieces, unable to make use of itself?" Here I see the evil that
sin causes in us since it so holds us in its power that we cannot
do what we desire to do in order to be always occupied in God.
6. I say it sometimes happens to me — and today was one of
these times, so I remember it vividly — that I see my soul become
undone in the desire to be united there where the greater part
is, and this is impossible; rather the imagination and memory
carry on such a war that the soul is left powerless. Since the other
faculties have ceased to function, these two are of no avail, not
even for doing harm. They do a great deal though by their distur-
bance. I say "not even for doing harm" because they do not have
the strength nor can they concentrate on one thing. Since the
intellect gives them neither much nor little assistance in what
they represent to it, they don't rest in anything but flit from one
thing to the other; they are like little moths at night, bother-
some and annoying: so they go from one extreme to the other.
This comparison, I think, gets to the point because they don't
have the strength to do any harm — they are an annoyance to
those who see them.
I don't know what remedy there is for this since until now
God hasn't made one known to me. I would be glad to find out
one, for, as I say, the imagination and memory often torment
me. Both our great misery and, very clearly, the tremendous
156
St. Teresa of Avila
power of God are manifested here. For the faculties that run
loose weary and harm us so much; and those that are with His
Majesty give us repose.
7. The only remedy I have found, after having tired myself
out for many years, is the one I mentioned in speaking of the
prayer of quiet:1 to pay no more attention to the memory than
one would to a madman — leave it go its way, for only God can
stop it and, in truth, here it remains as a slave. We must suffer
it with patience as Jacob did Leah, for the Lord does us a great
favor in allowing us to enjoy Rachel. b I say "it remains as a
slave" because in fact the memory is unable — no matter what
it does — to gather to itself the other faculties; rather, without
any labor, they often make the memory come to them.
Sometimes God is pleased to take pity when seeing the memory
so lost and disturbed and desirous of being with the others, and
His Majesty consents to its being burnt in the fire of that divine
candle where the others are already reduced to dust since they
have lost their natural being and are almost supernatural in their
enjoyment of such great blessings.
8. In all these ways in which this last water comes from the
spring I mentioned,7 the glory and repose of the soul is so great
that the body very perceivably shares in that joy and delight;
it does so "very perceivably," and the virtues are as advanced
as I have mentioned.8
It seems that the Lord has desired to explain as much of these
states in which the soul finds itself as can be understood here
below Your Reverence can discuss this explanation with a
spiritual person who has experienced these states and who is also
learned. If he should say that the explanation is all right, believe
that it was given by God and thank His Majesty very much for
it. Because, as I have said,9 with the passing of time in-
dividuals will be very glad to understand what it is; even though
they are given the grace to enjoy it, they aren't given the grace
to understand it. If His Majesty has given you the grace to en-
joy this prayer, you will through your intelligence and learning
understand what is said here. May He be praised for everything
throughout all ages, amen.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 18
157
Chapter 18
Discusses the fourth degree of prayer. Begins to offer an excellent explana-
tion of the great dignity the Lord bestows upon the soul in this state. Gives
much encouragement to those who engage in prayer that they might strive
to attain so high a stage since it can be reached on earth, although not
by merit but through God's goodness. This should be read attentively, for
the explanation is presented in a very subtle way and there are many note-
worthy things. 1
MAY THE LORD TEACH ME the words necessary for
explaining something about the fourth water. Clearly
His favor is necessary, even more so than for what was explained
previously. In the previous prayer, since the soul was conscious
of the world, it did not feel that it was totally dead — for we can
speak of this last prayer in such a way. But, as I said,2 the soul
has its senses by which it feels its solitude and understands that
it is in the world; and it uses exterior things to make known what
it feels, even though this may be through signs.
In all the prayer and modes of prayer that were explained,
the gardener does some work, even though in these latter modes
the work is accompanied by so much glory and consolation for
the soul that it would never want to abandon this prayer. As
a result, the prayer is not experienced as work but as glory. In
this fourth water the soul isn't in possession of its senses, but
it rejoices without understanding what it is rejoicing in. It
understands that it is enjoying a good in which are gathered
together all goods, but this good is incomprehensible. All the
senses are occupied in this joy in such a way that none is free
to be taken up with any other exterior or interior thing.
In the previous degrees, the senses are given freedom to show
some signs of the great joy they feel. Here in this fourth water
the soul rejoices incomparably more; but it can show much less
since no power remains in the body, nor does the soul have any
power to communicate its joy. At such a time, everything would
be a great obstacle and a torment and a hindrance to its repose.
And I say that if this prayer is the union of all the faculties, the
soul is unable to communicate its joy even though it may desire
158
St. Teresa of Avila
to do so — I mean while being in the prayer. And if it were able,
then this wouldn't be union.
2. How this prayer they calf union comes about and what
it is, I don't know how to explain. These matters are expound-
ed in mystical theology; I wouldn't know the proper vocabulary.
Neither do I understand what the mind is; nor do I know how
it differs from the soul or the spirit. It all seems to be the same
thing to me, although the soul sometimes goes forth from itself.
The way this happens is comparable to what happens when a
fire is burning and flaming, and it sometimes becomes a forceful
blaze. The flame then shoots very high above the fire, but the
flame is not by that reason something different from the fire but
the same flame that is in the fire. Your Reverence with your
learning will understand this, for I don't know what else to say.
3. What I'm attempting to explain is what the soul feels when
it is in this divine union. What union is we already know since
it means that two separate things become one. O my Lord, how
good You are! May You be blessed forever! May all things praise
You, my God, for You have so loved us that we can truthfully
speak of this communication which You engage in with souls
even in our exile! And even in the case of those who are good,
this still shows great generosity and magnanimity. In fact, it is
Your communication, my Lord; and You give it in the manner
of who You are. O infinite Largess, how magnificent are Your
works!4 It frightens those whose intellects are not occupied with
things of the earth that they have no intellect by which they can
understand divine truths. That You bestow such sovereign favors
on souls that have offended You so much certainly brings my
intellect to a halt; and when I begin to think about this, I'm
unable to continue. Where can the intellect go that would not
be a turning back since it doesn't know how to give You thanks
for such great favors? Sometimes I find it a remedy to speak
absurdities.
4. After I have just received these favors or when God is begin-
ning to give them to me (for at the time one is receiving them
as I have already mentioned there's no power to do anything),
it often happens that I say:
Lord, look what You are doing. Don't forget so quickly my
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 18
159
great wickedness. Now that in order to pardon me You have
forgotten it, I beseech You to remember it that You might put
a limit on Your favors. Don't, my Creator, pour such precious
liqueur in so broken a bottle;5 You have already seen at other
times how I only spill and waste it. Don't place a treasure like
this in a place where cupidity for life's consolations is still not
cast off as it should be; otherwise it will be badly squandered.
How is it that You surrender the strength of this city and the
keys to its fortress to so cowardly a mayor who at the first attack
allows the enemy to enter? Don't let Your love be so great, eter-
nal King, as to place in risk such precious jewels. It seems, my
Lord, that the occasion is given for esteeming them but little
since You put them in the power of a thing so wretched, so low-
ly, so weak and miserable, and of so little importance. For
although she strives with Your help not to lose them (and there
is need for more than a little effort because of what I am), she
cannot make use of them to win over anyone. In sum, she is
a woman; and not a good but a wretched one. It seems that the
talents are not only hidden but even buried6 by being placed
in such vile earth. You are not accustomed, Lord, to bestow on
a soul grandeurs and favors like these unless for the profit of
many. You already know, my God, that with all my heart and
will I beseech You and have besought You at times in the past
that You grant these favors to someone who would make better
use of them for the increase of Your glory — and that I would
consider it a blessing to lose the greatest earthly good possessable
in order that You do so.
5. These and other things it often occurred to me to say. I
saw afterward my foolishness and lack of humility; the Lord well
knows what is fitting and that I would not have the strength in
my soul to be saved if His Majesty didn't give it to me through
so many favors.
6. I also intend to speak of the graces and effects that are left
in the soul, of whether it can do something on its own to reach
so great a state, and of what this something might be.
7. The elevation of the spirit, or joining with heavenly love,
which I shall describe, takes place within this very union.7 The
union, as I understand it, is different from the elevation. It will
160
St. Teresa of Avila
seem to anyone who may not have experienced this elevation
of the spirit that there is no difference between the two; but,
in my opinion, though they are one, the Lord works differently
in each case. And in the flight of the spirit this difference is seen
by a much greater increase in detachment from creatures. I have
perceived clearly that the elevation of the spirit is a particular
favor, even though as I say it may be the same as union or ap-
pear to be so. A small fire is just as much a fire as is a large
one. Through this example one can see the difference there is
between union and elevation of the spirit. In a small fire it takes
a lot of time for a piece of iron to become red-hot. But if the
fire is great, the piece of iron, even though large, will in a short
time lose its entire being — or it will appear to do so. This ex-
ample, it seems to me, shows what the difference between the
two favors from the Lord is like. I know that anyone who has
reached the experience of raptures will understand the difference
well. To one who has no experience the explanation will seem
confusing, and it could well be. It is not surprising that there
is confusion when a person like myself wants to speak of such
a thing and to give some explanation of an experience that it
seems one cannot even begin to put into words.
8. But I believe the Lord will help me in this explanation.
His Majesty knows that besides obeying it is my intention to
attract souls to so high a blessing. I shall say nothing about things
of which I don't have much experience. And it is a fact that when
I began to write about this last water it seemed impossible to
know how to speak of it without making it sound like Greek;
for it is very difficult to explain. So I set the work aside and went
to receive Communion. Blessed be the Lord who so favors the
ignorant! O virtue of obedience that can do all things! God
enlightened my intellect: sometimes with words, at other times
showing me how to explain this favor, as He did with the previous
prayer.8 His Majesty, it seems, wanted to say what I neither
was able nor knew how to say.
What I am telling is the complete truth, and so whatever is
good is His doctrine; whatever is bad clearly comes from the
ocean of evil that I am. Thus I say that if persons who had
reached the experiences in prayer that the Lord has favored this
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 18
161
miserable creature with — and there must be many — wanted to
speak to me of these because they thought they had gone astray,
the Lord would help His servant to show them the true way.
9. Well now, let us speak of this heavenly water that in its
abundance soaks and saturates this entire garden: if the Lord
were always to give it when there is need, the gardener would
evidently have it easy. And if there were no winter and the
weather were always mild, there would be no lack of flowers and
fruit. It is obvious how delighted the gardener would be. But
this is impossible while we are living on this earth. Individuals
must always take care so that when one kind of water is lacking
they might strive for the other. This water from heaven often
comes when the gardener is least expecting it. True, in the begin-
ning it almost always occurs after a long period of mental prayer.
The Lord comes to take this tiny bird from one degree to another
and to place it in the nest so that it may have repose. Since He
has seen it fly about for a long time, striving with the intellect
and the will and all its strength to see God and please Him, He
desires to reward it even in this life. And what a tremendous
reward; one moment is enough to repay all the trials that can
be suffered in life!
10. While the soul is seeking God in this way, it feels with
the most marvelous and gentlest delight that everything is almost
fading away through a kind of swoon in which breathing and
all the bodily energies gradually fail. This experience comes about
in such a way that one cannot even stir the hands without a lot
of effort The eyes close without one's wanting them to close;
or if these persons keep them open, they see hardly anything —
nor do they read or succeed in pronouncing a letter, nor can
they hardly even guess what the letter is. They see the letter;
but since the intellect gives no help, they don't know how to read
it even though they may desire to do so. They hear but don't
understand what they hear. Thus they receive no benefit from
the senses — unless it be that these latter do not take away their
pleasure, since doing so would cause harm. In vain do they try
to speak because they don't succeed in forming a word, nor if
they do succeed is there the strength left to be able to pronounce
it. All the external energy is lost, and that of the soul is increased
162
St. Teresa of Avila
so that it might better enjoy its glory. The exterior delight that
is felt is great and very distinct.
1 1 . This prayer causes no harm, no matter how long it lasts.
At least it never caused me any, nor do I recall the Lord ever
having granted me this favor that I didn't feel much better after-
ward no matter how ill I had been before. But what illness can
produce so wonderful a blessing? The external effects are so ap-
parent that one cannot doubt that a great event has taken place;
these external powers are taken away with such delight in order
to leave greater ones.
12. It is true that in the beginning this prayer passes so
quickly — at least it happened this way to me — that neither these
exterior signs nor the failure of the senses are very noticeable.
But the soul well understands that the sun's brightness therein
was powerful since it melted the soul away. It is noteworthy that
the longest space of time, in my opinion, in which the soul re-
mains in this suspension of all the faculties is very short; should
it remain suspended for a half hour, this would be a very long
time. I don't think I ever experienced this suspension for so long.
It is true that since there is no sensory consciousness one finds
it hard to know what is happening. But I am saying that in an
occurrence of this prayer only a short time passes without one
of the faculties returning to itself. It is the will that holds high
the banner;9 the other two faculties quickly go back to being a
bother. Since the will remains quiet, the others are again suspend-
ed for a little while — then return again to life.
13. In this way a person can and in fact does spend several
hours in prayer. Once the two faculties have begun to taste the
divine wine and be inebriated by it,10 they easily lose
themselves again so as to gain much more; and they accompany
the will, and all three rejoice. But I say this loss of them all and
suspension of the imagination — which as I understand it is also
completely lost — lasts only a short while; yet these faculties don't
return to themselves so completely that they are incapable of
remaining for several hours as though bewildered while God
gradually gathers them again to Himself.
14. Now let us come to what the soul experiences here interior-
ly. Let those who know how speak of it since it cannot be
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 18
163
understood — much less put into words!
After having received Communion and been in this very
prayer I'm writing about, I was thinking when I wanted to write
something on it of what the soul did during that time. The Lord
spoke these words to me: "It detaches itself from everything,
daughter, so as to abide more in me. It is no longer the soul
that lives but I. Since it cannot comprehend what it understands,
there is an understanding by not understanding."
Whoever may have experienced this prayer will know
something about it; since what happens is so obscure, it can't
be explained more clearly. I can only say that the soul appears
to be joined to God, and there remains such certitude about this
union that the soul cannot help believing in the truth of it. In
this prayer all the faculties fail and they are so suspended that
in no way, as I said,11 does one think they are working. If a
person is reflecting upon some scriptural event, it becomes as
lost to the memory as it would be if there had never been any
thought of it. If the person reads, there is no remembrance of
what was read; nor is there any remembrance if one prays vocal-
ly. Thus this bothersome little moth, which is the memory, gets
its wings burnt here; it can no longer move. The will is fully
occupied in loving, but it doesn't understand how it loves. The
intellect, if it understands, doesn't understand how it understands;
at least it can't comprehend anything of what it understands.
It doesn't seem to me that it understands, because, as I say, it
doesn't understand — I really can't understand this!
15. In the beginning I was ignorant about a certain matter
because I didn't know that God was in all things, and though
He seemed so present to me, I thought this omnipresence was
impossible. I couldn't stop believing that He was there since it
seemed to me that I understood almostly clearly that He was
there by His very presence. Those who had no learning told me
that He was present only by grace. I couldn't believe this,
because, as I say, it seemed to me He was present; and so I was
troubled. A very learned man from the order of the glorious St.
Dominic12 freed me from this doubt, for he told me that God
was present and of how God communicates Himself to us; these
truths consoled me tremendously.
164
St. Teresa of Avila
It should be noted and understood that this heavenly water,
this magnificent favor from the Lord, always leaves great fruits
in the soul as I shall now explain.
Chapter 19
Continues on the same subject. Begins to explain the effects this degree
of prayer produces in the soul. Strongly urges souls not to turn back, even
if they fall again after receiving this favor, and not to give up prayer. Speaks
of the harm that results from abandoning prayer . This chapter is very im-
portant and most consoling for the weak and for sinners.
THIS PRAYER AND UNION leaves the greatest
tenderness in the soul in such a way that it would want to be
consumed not from pain but from the joyous tears. It finds itself
bathed in them without having felt them or knowing when or
how it shed them. But it receives great delight in seeing that
the driving force of that fire is quenched by a water that makes
the fire increase. This sounds like gibberish, but that's what hap-
pens. It sometimes happened to me in this kind of prayer that
I was so taken out of myself that I didn't know whether I was
dreaming or whether the glory I was experiencing was indeed
occurring. Seeing myself soaked by the water that came forth
so forcefully and quickly and that seemingly poured from that
heavenly cloud, I perceived that my experience had not been
a dream. This prayer occurred in such a way at the beginning
when it passed quickly.
2. The soul becomes so courageous that if at that moment it
were cut in pieces for God, it would be greatly consoled. Such
prayer is the source of heroic promises, of resolutions, and of
ardent desires; it is the beginning of contempt for the world
because of a clear perception of the world's vanity. The soul is
much more improved and in a higher state than it was after the
previous degrees of prayer. Its humility is deeper because it sees
plainly that through no diligence of its own did it receive that
very generous and magnificent gift and that it played no role
in obtaining or experiencing it. Since there is no hidden cobweb
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 19
165
in a room where much sun enters, the soul sees clearly that it
is most unworthy; it sees its misery. Vainglory goes off so far
that it doesn't seem possible for the soul to have any. Since there
was hardly even any consent there, it now with its own eyes sees
it is capable of little or nothing. It seems, though it didn't desire
this, that the door of all the senses was closed to it that it might
be better able to enjoy the Lord. It remains alone with Him.
What has it to do but love Him? It neither sees nor hears save
by much effort. There is not much to thank the soul for. After-
ward, with striking truth, its past life and the great mercy of
God are shown to it. The intellect doesn't have to go hunting
for this knowledge because it beholds there, all cooked and
prepared, what it must eat and understand. It perceives that it
merits hell and that yet it is chastised with glory. It consumes
itself in the praises of God — and I would want to be consumed
now. May You be blessed, my Lord, that from such filthy mud
as I, You make water so clear that it can be served at Your table!
May You be praised, O Joy of the angels, for having desired
to raise up a worm so vile!
3. This progress in virtue remains for some time with the soul.
It can now, with clear understanding that the fruits are not its
own, begin to distribute them since it has no need of them. It
starts to show signs of a soul that guards heavenly treasures and
has the desire to share them with others, and it beseeches God
that it may not be the only rich one. It begins to be of benefit
to its neighbors almost without knowing it or doing anything
of itself. They recognize it because now the fragrance of the
flowers has reached the point in which it attracts others. The
soul understands that it has virtues, and its neighbors see the
desirable fruit. They would like to help it eat this fruit. If the
soil is well cultivated by trials, persecutions, criticisms, and
illnesses — for few there must be who reach this stage without
them — and if it is softened by living in great detachment from
self-interest, the water soaks it to the extent that it is almost never
dry. But if the soil is still hardened in the earth and has a lot
of briers, as I did in the beginning, and is still not so removed
from occasions and if it doesn't have the gratitude a favor as great
as this deserves, the ground will dry up again. And if the gardener
166
St. Teresa of Avila
becomes careless and the Lord solely out of His goodness does
not desire to let the rains come again, the garden can be con-
sidered as lost. So it happened to me sometimes. I am certainly
amazed; if it hadn't befallen me, I'd be unable to believe it. I
write this for the consolation of weak souls like myself that they
might never despair or fail to trust in the greatness of God. Even
though they may fall after elevations like the ones to which the
Lord here orings them, they ought not to grow discouraged if
they don't want to become completely lost. For tears gain all
things: one water draws down the other.
4. That one ought not to grow discouraged is one of the reasons
that encouraged me — being what I am — to obey and write an
account of my wretched life and of the favors the Lord granted
me without rny serving Him but rather offending Him. 1 should
certainly like to have a great deal of authority in this matter so
that I might be believed. I beseech the Lord to give it. I say
that no one who has begun to practice prayer should become
discouraged by saying: "If 1 return to evil, matters will become
worse should I continue the practice of prayer." I believe mat-
ters become worse if one abandons prayer and doesn't amend
one's evil ways. But if people don't abandon it, they may believe
that prayer will bring them to the harbor of light. The devil car-
ried out a great assault upon me in this matter. Since I was
wretched, I spent so long a time in thinking it was a lack of
humility to practice prayer that, as I have already said, I aban-
doned it for a year and a half— 1 at least for a year; I don't
remember well about the half. And doing this was no more, nor
could it have been, than putting myself right in hell without the
need of devils to urge me on. Oh, God help me, what great blind-
ness! And how right the devil is to direct his attacks so that the
soul give up prayer! The traitor knows that he has lost the soul
that practices prayer perseveringly and that all the falls he helps
it to take assist it afterward, through the goodness of God, to
make a great leap forward in the Lord's service. No wonder he's
so concerned!
5. O my Jesus! What a sight it is when You through Your
mercy return to offer Your hand and raise up a soul that has
fallen in sin after having reached this stage! How such a soul
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 19
167
knows the multitude of Your grandeurs and mercies and its own
misery! In this state it is in truth consumed and knows Your
splendors. Here it doesn't dare raise its eyes, and here it raises
them up so as to know what it owes You. Here it becomes a
devotee of the Queen of heaven so that she might appease You;
here it invokes the help of the saints that fell after having been
called by You.2 Here it seems that everything You give it is
undeserved because it sees that it doesn't merit the ground on
which it treads. Here, in approaching the sacraments, it has the
living faith to see the power that God has placed in them; it
praises You because You have left such a medicine and oint-
ment for our wounds and because this medicine not only covers
these wounds but takes them away completely.3 It is amazed
by all this. And who, Lord of my soul, wouldn't be amazed by
so much mercy and a favor so large for a betrayal so ugly and
abominable? I don't know why my heart doesn't break as I write
this! For I am a wretched person!
6. With these little tears, given by You, that I shed — water,
on my part, from so loathsome a well — it seems I repay You
for all my betrayals, in which I always do evil and strive to un-
do the favors You've granted me. Place a value, my Lord, upon
these tears. Cleanse this water so foul lest others be tempted to
make judgments, as happened to me, when they wonder why,
Lord, You abandon some very holy persons who have always
served and labored for You, who were brought up religiously
and who are truly religious (and not like myself who was a
religious only in name), and when they see clearly that You do
not grant them the favors you do me. I well perceived, my God,
that You keep the reward so as to give it to those holy persons
all together and that I need this reward because of my weakness.
Now they, like strong men, serve You without these favors; and
You deal with them as with a fortified people and not a self-
interested one.
7. Nevertheless, You know, my Lord, that I often called out
to You to excuse those persons who criticized me because it
seemed to me they were more than right. This occurred, Lord,
after You kept me, out of your goodness, from offending You
so much and when I was turning aside from all that it seemed
168
St. Teresa of Avila
to me could anger You. When I did this, You began, Lord, to
open Your treasures to Your handmaid. It doesn't seem You
were waiting for anything other than the will and readiness in
me to receive them since You quickly began not only to give
them but to desire that others know You were giving them.
8. Once others knew this, I began to be held in esteem by
those who had not yet realized what a wretched person I was
however much this evil showed through. Suddenly the criticism
and persecution began; but, in my opinion, with every reason.
So I didn't bear ill-will toward anybody, but besought You to
observe how right they were. They said I was trying to make
myself out to be a saint and was inventing novelties without then
even having attained to the full observance of my rule or to the
level of the very good and holy nuns there were in the house.
(Nor do I myself believe I will ever arrive if God in His goodness
doesn't do everything Himself.) They said that rather it was I
who was taking away the good customs and introducing those
that were not — at least that I was doing what I could to introduce
them and that I was capable of causing a great deal of harm.
So without any fault on their part they accused me. I don't say
that only the nuns did this, but there were other persons as well.
They revealed truths to me because You permitted this, Lord.
9. Once, in the midst of such persecution, while reciting the
Hours, I came to the verse that says: Justus es, Domine, and Your
judgments.* I began to think of what a great truth this was. For
the devil never had the power to tempt me to doubt that You,
my Lord, possess all good things, or to tempt me in any matter
of faith; rather it seemed to me that the more the things of faith
go beyond what is natural the stronger the faith — and this thought
enkindled great devotion in me. Just believing that You are all
powerful was enough for me to receive all the grandeurs that
You work, and this power, as I say, I never doubted. Thus, while
I was thinking that You justly permit that there be many, as
I have mentioned,5 who are very good servants of Yours and
yet do not receive these gifts and favors You grant me because
of what I am, You answered me, Lord: "Serve me, and don't
bother about such things." This was the first locution I heard
You speak to me, and so I was very frightened.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 19
169
Since, among other things, I shall afterward explain6 this
manner of understanding, I will not speak of it here; it would
be off the subject — and I think I've already gone far off. I hard-
ly know what I've said. It can't be otherwise, my son; your
Reverence must endure these digressions. When I see what pa-
tience God has had with me and see myself in this state, it doesn't
take much to lose the thread of what I'm saying and intend to
say. May it please the Lord that my follies be always like these,
and may His Majesty no longer allow me to have the power to
offend Him the least bit; rather, may I be consumed in this
prayer.
10. What I've said is enough now for beholding His great mer-
cies, not the one time but the many times He has pardoned so
much ingratitude. Saint Peter, You pardoned once when he was
ungrateful; me, You pardoned many times.7 With what reason
the devil tempted me not to pretend to be a friend with one whom
I treated publicly like an enemy. What terrible blindness mine
was! Where, my Lord, did I think I could find a remedy save
in You? What folly; to flee from the light so as to be always
stumbling! Such proud humility the devil invented in me:
withdrawing from the column and the staff which were my sup-
port against a fall so great! Now I make the sign of the cross
with amazement, and it doesn't seem to me that I underwent
any danger as bad as with this invention the devil taught me
under the pretext of humility. He put the thought in my head
to question how, since I was so wretched and had received so
many favors, I could engage in prayer; and the thought that it
was enough for me to recite, like everyone else, my obligatory
vocal prayers; and the question about how I could pretend to
do more since I didn't even say my vocal prayers well; he sug-
gested that engaging in prayer showed a lack of reverence and
little esteem for the favors of God.
It was right to think about and understand these things; but
to give up the practice of prayer was the greatest evil. May You
be blessed, Lord, who came to my rescue.
1 1 . It seems to me that this was the way the devil began to
tempt Judas, except that in my case this traitorous devil did not
work so openly; but little by little he did to me what he did to
170
St. Teresa of Avila
Judas. For the love of God let all those who practice prayer
observe this. Let them know that during the time in which I
was without prayer my life was much worse. Look at the good
remedy the devil gave me and the charming humility — the great
disquiet within me. But how could I quiet my soul? It was los-
ing its calm; it remembered favors and gifts; it saw that this
world's pleasures are disgusting. How it was able to go on amazes
me. I did so by means of hope because I never thought (insofar
as I now recall, for this must have happened twenty-one years
ago) I would cease being determined to return to prayer — but
I was waiting to be very purified of sin. Oh, how wrong was
the direction in which I was going with this hope ! The devil would
have kept me hoping until judgment day and then have led me
into hell.
12. Through the practice of prayer and spiritual reading I knew
the truths and the bad road I was following and often entreated
the Lord with many tears, but I was so wretched that these were
of no avail. Separated from prayer, taken up with many pastimes
and placed in many occasions with few aids — and I dare say
none, unless they were aids to my falling — what was there to
hope for except hell, as I mentioned?
I believe that a Dominican friar,8 a very learned man, is
worthy of merit in the sight of God, for he woke me from this
sleep if not completely from my evil ways. He made me receive
Communion, as I believe I mentioned, every fifteen days. I began
to return to my senses, although I didn't cease offending the Lord.
But since I hadn't lost the way, I advanced on it, even though
very gradually, by falling and rising. And the one who doesn't
fail to walk and advance on it shall arrive even though late. I
don't think losing the way means anything else than giving up
prayer. May God free us because of who He is!
13. My experience explains — and close attention should be
given to it for the love of the Lord — that even though a soul may
reach the stage in which God grants it such wonderful favors
in prayer, it should not trust in itself; it can fall. Nor should
it in any way place itself in the occasions of falling. This should
be carefully noted because it is very important. The deception
the devil can afterward cause in this matter, even though the
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 19
171
favor is certainly from God, is that the traitor profits as much
as he can from this same gift. He deceives persons who are not
advanced in the virtues, or mortified, or detached. They are not
strong enough, as I shall say,9 to enter into the midst of occa-
sions and dangers, no matter how great their desires and resolu-
tions. This doctrine is excellent, and it is not mine, but taught
by God. And so I would want ignorant persons, like myself, to
know it. Even though a soul may be in this state, it must not
trust itself in going out to battle, for it will have a hard time
defending itself. Here one needs arms to defend oneself against
devils, and persons in this state do not yet have the strength to
fight against them and trample them under foot as do those who
are in the state I shall afterward speak about.10
14. The devil plays a trick on the soul. Since it sees itself so
close to God and perceives the difference there is between heaven-
ly and earthly goods and the love the Lord shows it, it gains
confidence from this love and the feeling of security that it will
not fall away from what it enjoys. It thinks it clearly sees the
reward and that it is no longer possible for it to abandon
something that, even in this life, is so delightful and pleasing
for anything as foul and base as earthly pleasure. And by means
of this confidence the devil takes away its lowly estimation of
itself. Believing it has no longer anything to fear from itself, as
I say, the soul places itself in dangers and begins with splendid
zeal to give away fruit without measure. It doesn't do this with
pride; it well understands that of itself it can do nothing. It does
it with great confidence in God, but without discretion since it
doesn't observe that it is still a fledgling. It can leave the nest,
and God takes it out; but it is still not ready to fly. The virtues
are not yet strong, nor does it have the experience to recognize
dangers, nor does it know the harm done by relying upon oneself.
15. This self-reliance was what destroyed me. For this reason
and for every reason there is need of a master and for discus-
sions with spiritual persons. I truly believe that God will not fail
to favor the soul that reaches this state; nor will He allow it to
be lost, unless it completely abandons His Majesty. But when,
as I have said,11 it falls, it should be extremely careful for the
love of the Lord not to be tricked into giving up prayer, as I
172
St. Teresa of Avila
was by the devil through false humility — as I have already
said12 and would like to say many times. It should trust in the
goodness of God, which is greater than all the evils we are capable
of. And He doesn't remember our ingratitude when we, although
knowing about it, desire to return to His friendship; nor does
He remember the favors He bestowed on us as punishment for
these evils. On the contrary, all of this helps us to receive par-
don more quickly as members of His household who have eaten,
as I say, from His table. Souls should remember His words13
and see what He did with me; before I grew tired of offending
Him, His Majesty began to pardon me. He never tires of giv-
ing, nor can He exhaust His mercies. Let us not tire of receiv-
ing. May He be blessed forever, amen — and may all things praise
Discusses the differences between union and rapture. Explains the nature
of rapture and tells something about the good possessed by the soul that
the Lord in His kindness brings to this prayer of rapture. Tells of its ef-
fects. There is much to marvel over.
SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN, with
A God's help, the difference there is between union and rapture,
or, as they call it, elevation or flight of the spirit, or transport,
which are all the same. I mean that these latter terms, though
different, refer to the same thing; it is also called ecstasy.1 The
advantage rapture has over union is great. The rapture produces
much stronger effects and causes many other phenomena. Union
seems the same at the beginning, in the middle, and at the end;
and it takes place in the interior of the soul. But since these other
phenomena are of a higher degree, they produce their effect both
interiorly and exteriorly. May the Lord explain as He did for
the other degrees. Certainly, if His Majesty had not given me
an understanding of the manners and ways in which something
could be said about them, I would not have known how to speak
of them.
Him.
Chapter 20
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 20
173
2. Let us consider now that the last water we spoke of2 is so
plentiful that, if it were not for the fact that the earth doesn't
allow it, we could believe that this cloud of His great Majesty
is with us here on earth. But when we thank Him for this wonder-
ful blessing, responding with works according to our strength,
the Lord gathers up the soul, let us say now, in the way the clouds
gather up the earthly vapors5 and raises it completely out of
itself. The cloud ascends to heaven and brings the soul along,
and begins to show it the things of the kingdom that He prepared
for it. I don't know if this comparison is holding together, but
the truth of the matter is that this is what happens.
3. In these raptures it seems that the soul is not animating
the body. Thus there is a very strong feeling that the natural
bodily heat is failing it. The body gradually grows cold, although
this happens with the greatest ease and delight. At this stage there
is no remedy that can be used to resist. In the union, since we
are upon our earth, there is a remedy; though it may take pain
and effort one can almost always resist. But in these raptures
most often there is no remedy; rather, without any forethought
or any help there frequently comes a force so swift and power-
ful that one sees and feels this cloud or mighty eagle raise it up
and carry it aloft on its wings.
4. 1 say that one understands and sees oneself carried away
and does not know where. Although this experience is delightful,
our natural weakness causes fear in the beginning. It is necessary
that the soul be resolute and courageous — much more so than
for the prayer already described — in order to risk all, come what
may, and abandon itself into the hands of God and go willingly
wherever it is brought since, like it or not, one is taken away.
So forceful is this enrapturing that very many times I wanted
to resist and used all my energy, especially sometimes when it
happened in public or other times when in secret and I was afraid
of being deceived. At times I was able to accomplish something,
but with a great loss of energy, as when someone fights with
a giant and afterward is worn out. At other times it was impossi-
ble for me to resist, but it carried off my soul and usually, too,
my head along with it, without my being able to hold back —
and sometimes the whole body until it was raised from the
174
St. Teresa of Avila
ground.
5. This latter has happened rarely. Once it happened when
we were together in the choir ready to go up to receive Com-
munion and while I was kneeling. I was very distressed because
the experience seemed to me to be something most extraordinary
and it would then become widely known. So I ordered the
nuns — for this happened recently while I held the office of
prioress — not to say anything about it. But at other times when
I began to see the Lord was going to do the same (and once when
there were some ladies of nobility present in order to hear a ser-
mon, for it was our titular feast),4 I stretched out on the floor
and the nuns came and held me down; nonetheless, this was
seen. I begged the Lord very much not to give me any more
favors that would involve any outward show, for I was tired of
being considered so important — and His Majesty could grant
me that favor without it being known. It seems in His goodness
He was pleased to hear me because up to the present I have never
had this experience again; true, I made this petition not so long
ago.5
6. It seems to have happened that when I desired to resist them,
such great powers raised me up from the very soles of my feet
that I don't know what to compare these powers to; they were
much greater than in the other spiritual experiences — and so I
was worn out. The struggle is a fierce one, and in the end struggle
is of little avail against the Lord's desire; there is no power against
His power. At other times He is pleased that we see He desires
to grant as the favor and that nothing is lacking on His Majes-
ty's part; and when we resist out of humility, the very same ef-
fects are left in the soul that would be left if it were to give com-
plete consent.
7. In those to whom this experience happens, the effects are
remarkable. First, there is a manifestation of the tremendous
power of the Lord and of how we are incapable, when His Ma-
jesty desires, of holding back the body any more than the soul,
nor are we its master. Rather, whether or not we wish, we see
that there is one who is superior, that these favors are given by
Him, and that of ourselves we can do absolutely nothing; deep
humility is impressed upon the soul. Yet I confess that the favor
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 20
175
greatly frightened me; at first the fear is extreme. When one
sees one's body so elevated from the ground that even though
the spirit carries it along after itself, and does so very gently if
one does not resist, one's feelings are not lost. At least I was con-
scious in such a way that T could understand I was being elevated.
There is revealed a majesty about the One who can do this that
makes a person's hair stand on edge, and there remains a strong
fear of offending so awesome a God. Yet such fear is accom-
panied by a very great love for Him, which grows ever deeper
upon considering what He does to so rotten a worm. It doesn't
seem He is satisfied in truly bringing the soul to Himself, but
it seems He desires the body even though it is mortal and, on
account of the many offenses it has committed, made of such
foul clay.
8. The experience also leaves a rare detachment, which I am
unable to describe. It seems to me that I can say the prayer is
in a certain way different. I mean that more than spiritual things
alone are involved. For now that the spirit is completely detached
from things, it seems in this prayer that the Lord wants to effect
this detachment in the body itself, and there is brought about
a new estrangement from earthly things that makes life much
more arduous.
9. Afterward there is a painful experience that we cannot pro-
duce ourselves, nor once it is felt can we put it aside. I should
like so much to explain this deep pain. I believe I'll be unable
to do so, but I'll try to say something. It should be noted that
these experiences occur much later than all the visions and revela-
tions I shall write of.6 The time I used to spend in a prayer in
which the Lord gave me such great consolations and gifts — even
though these are not completely absent — is now usually spent
in this painful prayer I shall speak of. It is sometimes more in-
tense, sometimes less intense. I want to speak now of when it
is more intense. For although I shall speak afterward7 of those
great loving impulses that I experienced when the Lord desired
to give me raptures, those impulses are no more, in my opinion,
than something that is very corporeal when compared to
something very spiritual — and I don't think I'm greatly exag-
gerating. For in the pain that is experienced in those impulses,
176
St. Teresa of Avila
the body feels it along with the soul, and both seem to have a
share in it; there is not as extreme a desolation as is felt in this
pain. In receiving this pain, as I said, we play no active role,
but often a desire comes unexpectedly in a way I don't under-
stand. With this desire, which penetrates the whole soul at once,
the soul begins to grow so weary that it ascends far above itself
and all creatures. God places it in a desert so distant from all
things that, however, much it labors, it doesn't find a creature
on earth that might accompany it — nor would it want to find
one; it desires only to die in that solitude. That someone speak
to it — and it wants to make every effort possible to speak — is
of little avail since the spirit, no matter how much the soul tries,
does not leave that solitude. And when it seems to me that God
is then exceedingly far away, He at times communicates His
grandeurs in the most strange manner thinkable. So one doesn't
know how to speak of this communication, nor do I think anyone
will believe me or understand it unless they have experienced
it themselves. This communication is given not to console but
to show the reason the soul has for becoming weary in the absence
of a blessing that in itself contains all blessings.
10. With this communication the desire increases and also the
extreme sense of solitude in which, even though the soul is in
that desert, it sees with a pain so delicate and penetrating that
it can, I think, literally say: Vigilavi, etf actus sum sicut passer solitarius
in tecto.8 (And perhaps the royal prophet said it while being in
the same solitude, although since he was a saint the Lord would
have given him this experience in a more intense way.) Hence
this verse then came to mind, for I think I saw it realized in
myself. It consoled me to know that other persons — and such
great ones — had experienced so extreme a solitude. Thus it seems
that the soul is not in itself, but on the roof or housetop of itself
and of all created things because it seems to me to be even above
the very superior part of the soul.
1 1 . At other times it seems the soul goes about as though com-
pelled to say and ask itself: where is your God?9 It is interesting
to note that I didn't know what the vernacular of this verse was;
after I understood it, I was consoled to see that the Lord had
brought it to my mind without my having played any part in
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 20
111
the matter. At other times I recalled what St. Paul says, that
he is crucified to the world.10 I am not saying that these words
apply here; I realize they don't. But it seems to me that the soul
is crucified since no consolation comes to it from heaven, nor
is it in heaven; neither does it desire any from earth, nor is it
on earth. Receiving no help from either side, it is as though
crucified between heaven and earth. That which comes from
heaven (which, as I said,11 is so admirable a knowledge of God,
very far above every desirable thing) causes more torment
because the desire increases in such a way that, in my opinion,
the intense pain sometimes takes away sensory consciousness;
but this intensity lasts only a short time. The experience
resembles the death agony with the difference that the suffering
bears along with it such great happiness that I don't know what
to compare it to. It is an arduous, delightful martyrdom since
it admits no earthly thing representable to the soul, even if this
be what is usually more pleasing to it. The soul, it seems, im-
mediately hurls such things from itself. It clearly understands
that it desires only its God. It doesn't love any particular aspect
of Him, but loves Him all together and knows not what it loves.
I say it "knows not" because the imagination doesn't represent
anything; nor, in my opinion, do the faculties function during
much of the time that this takes place. Just as it is joy that
suspends the faculties in union and rapture, so it is pain that
suspends them here.
12. O Jesus! Who could give a good explanation of this prayer
to your Reverence so that you could explain it to me? It is what
my soul is now always experiencing. Usually when unoccupied
it is placed in the midst of these anxious longings for death; and
when it sees they are beginning, it fears that it will not die. But
once in the midst of them, it would desire to spend the remainder
of its life in this suffering, even though the suffering is so ex-
cessive a person cannot endure it. Sometimes my pulse almost
stops, according to what a number of the Sisters say who at times
are near me and know more, and my arms are straight and my
hands so stiff that occasionally I cannot join them. As a result,
even the next day I feel pain in the pulse and in the body, as
if the bones were disjoined.
178
St. Teresa of Avila
13. I sometimes really think that if this prayer continues as
it does now, the Lord would be served if my life came to an end.
In my opinion, a pain as great as this is sufficient to put an end
to life, but I don't merit death. All my longing then is to die;
nor" do I think about purgatory or of the great sins I've commit-
ted by which I've merited hell. I am oblivious of everything in
that anxious longing to see God; that desert and solitude seem
to the soul better than all the companionship of the world. If
anything could give the soul consolation, it would be to speak
to someone who had suffered this torment.
14. It is also a torment for the soul to see that even though
it complains no one, seemingly, will believe it. This pain is so
intense that the soul would not want solitude as before, nor would
it want companionship with anyone other than one to whom it
can complain. It is like a person suffocating with a rope around
the neck and seeking to find relief. So it seems to me that this
desire for companionship comes from our weakness, for the pain
places us in danger of death. (Yes, this is what it certainly does.
I have at times on account of my great illnesses and crises been
in peril of death, as I mentioned;12 and I believe it can be said
that this danger is as great as all the others.) As a result, the
desire the body and the soul have of not being separated is what
makes one beg help in order to get relief. By speaking and com-
plaining of the pain and by distracting itself, the soul seeks a
remedy so as to live — much against the will of the spirit, or of
its superior part, which would not want to break away from this
pain.
15.1 don't know if I'm meeting with success in what I'm say-
ing or if I know how to say it, but in my firm opinion this is
what happens. See, your Reverence, what rest the soul can have
in this life. That rest that it had — which was prayer and solitude,
because through these the Lord comforted me — now usually con-
sists of this torment. Yet the torment is so pleasing and seen to
be so valuable that now the soul desires this more than all the
favors previously experienced. The experience seems safer
because it follows the way of the cross. It contains in itself a very
precious consolation, in my opinion; the body shares only in the
pain, and it is the soul alone that both suffers and rejoices on
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 20
179
account of the joy and satisfaction the suffering gives. I don't
know how this can happen, but it does. In my opinion, I would
not trade this gift the Lord grants me (which comes from His
hand and, as I said,13 is in no way acquired by me, because it
is very, very supernatural) for all those I shall speak of after-
ward. I don't mean all those gifts taken together, but taken one
by one. It must not be forgotten that this experience of pain comes
after all those favors that are written of in this book, and it is
what the Lord now grants me.14
16. When I was afraid in the beginning (as happens to me
in the case of almost every gift the Lord gives me until His Ma-
jesty assures me as I make progress), the Lord told me not to
fear and to esteem this gift more than all the others He had
granted me. In this pain the soul is purified and fashioned or
purged like gold in the crucible so that the enameled gifts might
be placed there in a better way, and in this prayer it is purged
of what otherwise it would have to be purged of in purgatory.
I clearly understood that it was a great favor, but I was left
with much more assurance — and my confessor tells me that it
is good. Although, since I am so wretched, I was afraid, I was
never able to believe that it was bad; on the contrary, so abun-
dant a blessing caused me fear when I remembered how poorly
I merited it. Blessed be the Lord who is so good. Amen.
17. It seems I've gone off the subject because I began to speak
of raptures;15 this that I have been speaking about is more than
rapture, and so it leaves the effects I mentioned.
18. Now let us return to raptures and speak of what is more
common in them. I say that often, it seemed to me, the body
was left so light that all its weight was gone, and sometimes this
feeling reached such a point that I almost didn't know how to
put my feet on the ground. Now when the body is in rapture
it is as though dead, frequently being unable to do anything of
itself. It remains in the position it was when seized by the rap-
ture, whether standing or sitting, or whether with the hands
opened or closed. Although once in a while the senses fail
(sometimes it happened to me that they failed completely), this
occurs rarely and for only a short time. But ordinarily the soul
is disoriented. Even though it can't do anything of itself with
180
St. Teresa of Avila
regard to exterior things, it doesn't fail to understand and hear
as though it were listening to something coming from far off.
I do not say that it hears and understands when it is at the height
of the rapture (I say "height" to refer to the times when the
faculties are lost to other things because of their intense union
with God), for then, in my opinion, it neither sees, nor hears,
nor feels. But as I said in speaking of the previous prayer of
union,15 this complete transformation of the soul in God lasts
only a short time; but while it lasts no faculty is felt, nor does
the soul know what is happening in this prayer. Perhaps it doesn't
know this because God doesn't want us to understand this while
on earth; He knows we are incapable of doing so. I have seen
this for myself.
19. Your Reverence will ask how it is that the rapture
sometimes lasts so many hours and occurs so often. What hap-
pens in my case, as I said in speaking of the previous prayer,
is that the rapture is experienced at intervals. The soul is often
absorbed or, to put it better, the Lord absorbs it in Himself
suspending all the faculties for a while and then, afterward,
holding only the will suspended. It seems to me that the activity
of these other two faculties is like that of the little pointer on
the sundial that never stops. But when the Sun of justice wants
to, He makes the faculties stop. This suspension of the two
faculties, I say, is brief. But since the loving impulse and eleva-
tion of the spirit was great, the will remains absorbed — even
though these return to their noisy way — and, like the lord over
all, causes those effects in the body.17 Although the other two
restless faculties desire to hinder it, they are the only enemies
because the sense faculties do not hinder it. The will causes these
sense faculties to be suspended because the Lord desires it so.
For most of the time the eyes are closed even though we may
not desire to close them; and if they are sometimes open, as I
have already mentioned,18 the soul doesn't notice or advert to
what it sees.
20. What it can do through its own power is much less in this
prayer; and when the two faculties are again suspended in the
union, there isn't much to do. For this reason whoever receives
this favor from the Lord should not become disconsolate on seeing
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 20
181
that the body is so bound for many hours and the intellect and
the memory sometimes distracted. True, these faculties are or-
dinarily absorbed in the praises of God or in desiring to com-
prehend and understand what they have undergone — and even
for this they are not fully awake but are like a person who has
slept and dreamed for a long while and still hasn't completely
awakened.
2 1 . I'm explaining this at such length because I know that there
are now, even in this place, 1Q persons to whom the Lord grants
these favors. If those who guide them have not gone through
this themselves, it may perhaps seem to these guides, especially
if they aren't learned men, that these persons are as though dead
during the rapture. And, as I shall say afterward,20 what these
persons suffer when their confessors do not understand them is
a pity. Perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about. Your
Reverence will understand whether I succeed in explaining myself
since the Lord has already given you experience of this rapture —
although since you haven't been experiencing it for a long time,
perhaps you haven't observed it as much as I have.
Thus, however hard I try to stir, there is not strength enough
in the body for a good while to be able to do so; the soul carries
off with it all this strength. Frequently the body is made healthy
and stronger — for it was really sick and full of great sufferings —
because something wonderful is given to it in that prayer. The
Lord sometimes desires, as I say, that the body enjoy it since
the body is now obedient to what the soul desires. After the soul
returns to itself— if the rapture has been intense — it goes about
for a day or two, or even three, with the faculties absorbed or
as though stupefied; it seems to be outside itself.
22. From this prayer comes the pain of having to return to
everyday life; in this prayer wings sprout enabling one to fly
with ease; the fledgling has shed its down; in this prayer Christ's
banner is now completely raised. It seems just as though the
custodian of this fortress climbs, or is taken up, to the highest
tower to raise the banner for God. He looks at those below as
one who is out of danger. He no longer fears dangers but rather
desires them as someone who in a certain manner receives
assurance there of victory. In it the soul sees very clearly how
182
St. Teresa of Avila
little everything here below should be esteemed and the trifle
that it is. Whoever stands upon a height sees many things. The
soul no longer wants to desire, nor would it want to have free
will — and this is what I beg the Lord. It gives Him the keys of
its will.
Behold now the gardener is raised to the position of custo-
dian. He desires to do nothing but the will of the Lord; nor does
he want to be lord of himself or of anything — not even of a pear-
tree in this garden. If there is something good in the garden,
His Majesty distributes it. From here' on the soul desires nothing
for itself; it wants its actions to be in complete conformity with
His glory and His will.
23, And the truth of the matter is that if the raptures arc
authentic, all of this takes place; the soul receives the effects anc
benefits that were mentioned. If these effects are not present,
I would greatly doubt that the raptures come from God; on the
contrary, I would fear lest they be caused by the rabies, as St.
Vincent observed.21 I understand and have seen through ex-
perience that after an hour or less the soul is left with such
freedom and dominion over all things that it doesn't know itself.
It sees clearly that the good effects don't belong to it. It doesn't
know how so much good was given it, but it well understands
the tremendous benefit that each of these raptures bears with
it There is no one who believes this if they haven't experienced
it. Thus they don't believe the poor soul, because they have seen
its wretchedness — and now so quickly see it strive after things
demanding such courage. For soon the soul becomes obsessed
with serving the Lord not just a little but as much as it can. They
think this is a temptation and foolishness. Were they to under-
stand that these desires don't spring from the soul but from the
Lord to whom it has given the keys of its will, they wouldn't
be surprised.
24. I have the opinion that a soul that reaches this state no
longer speaks or does anything for itself. This sovereign King
takes care of all that it has to do. Oh, God help me, how clearly
the meaning of the psalm is seen here; and how right are all those
who long for the wings of a dove!22 It is clearly understood that
the flight is given to the spirit so that it may be elevated above
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 20
183
every creature — and above itself first of all. The flight is an easy
flight, a delightful one, a flight without noise.
25. How great is the dominion of that soul brought here by
the Lord; it beholds everything without being ensnared! How
ashamed it feels of the time when it was ensnared! How fright-
ened of its blindness! What pity it feels for those who are still
in this blindness, especially if they are persons of prayer whom
God already favors! It would want to cry out in order to make
known how deceived they are — sometimes it even does so, and
a thousand persecutions rain down upon its head. They con-
sider this person lacking in humility, especially if she is a woman,
and point out that she desires to teach the one from whom she
should be learning. As a result they condemn this soul — and with
reason — because they don't know the loving impulse that moves
it. For at times the soul can't help but disillusion — nor endure
not disillusioning — those whom it loves and desires to see freed
from the prison of this life, since the life that it formerly lived
was nothing else than a prisoner's life; nor does it seem to it to
have been anything else than that.
26. It deplores the time in which it was concerned about its
reputation and deplores the deception it suffered in believing
that what the world called honor was honor. It sees how this
belief about honor is the greatest lie and that all of us are in-
volved in it. It understands that authentic honor stands not with
falsehood but with truth, judging what is something to be
something, and what is nothing to be nothing, since everything
that comes to an end is nothing and less than nothing and is
not pleasing to God.
27. The soul laughs to itself over the time when it esteemed
money and coveted it, although in this matter of coveting money,
I don't think I ever — and this is true — confessed a fault; but it
was fault enough to have esteemed it. If with money I could have
bought the good I now see in myself, I would have esteemed
it highly; but I see that this good is won by giving up everything.
What is it we buy with this money we desire? Is it something
valuable? Is it something lasting? Oh, why do we desire it?
Miserable is the rest achieved that costs so dearly. Frequently
one obtains hell with money and buys everlasting fire and pain
184
St. Teresa of Avila
without end. Oh, if everyone would consider it unprofitable dirt,
how harmoniously would the world proceed, how many lawsuits
would be avoided! What friendship there would be among all
if there were no self-interest about honor and money! I think
this absence of self-interest would solve all problems.
28. The soul sees such great blindness in pleasures and how
with them one buys trouble — even for this life — and worry. What
restlessness! What little happiness! What vain labor! In this
prayer it sees not only serious faults and cobwebs in its soul but
any speck of dust no matter how small because the sun is very
bright. And so, no matter how much a soul labors to become
perfect, if this Sun truly takes hold of it, everything is seen as
very turbid. The soul is like water in a glass: the water looks
very clear if the sun doesn't shine on it; but when the sun shines
on it, it seems to be full of dust particles. This comparison is
an exact one. Before being in this ecstasy the soul thinks it is
careful about not offending God and that it is doing what it can
in conformity with its strength. But once it is brought into prayer,
which this Sun of justice bestows on it and which opens its eyes,
it sees so many dust particles that it would want to close its eyes
again. It is not yet so much a child of this powerful eagle that
it can gaze steadily at this sun. But for the little time that it holds
its eyes open, it sees that it is itself filled with mud. It recalls
the psalm that says: Who will be just in Your Presence?1'*
29. When it beholds this divine Sun, the brightness dazzles
it; when it looks at itself, the mud covers its eyes; blind is this
little dove. So, very frequently, it is left totally blind, absorbed,
frightened, and in a swoon from the many grandeurs that it sees.
In this stage true humility is gained so that the soul doesn't care
at all about saying good things of itself, nor that others say them.
The Lord, not the soul, distributes the fruit of the garden, and
so nothing sticks to its hands. All the good it possesses is directed
to God; if it says something about itself, it does so for God's glory.
It knows that it owns nothing in the garden; and even should
it desire to ignore this truth, it can't. Whether it wants to or not,
it sees with its own eyes that the Lord makes it close them to
all the things of the world so that it may keep them open for
the understanding of truths.
The Book of tlst Life -Chap. 21
185
Che ,ter 21
Continues and concludes the discussions of this last decree of prayer. Tells
about what the soul that experiences this prav^ < 1 ' > ipon returning to
life in the world and about the light the Lord giv:s u concerning the worlds
illusions. It contains good doctrine.
TO FINISH NOW WHAT I WAS DISCUSSING,1 I say
that there is no need here for the consent of this soul. It has
already given itself to God, and it knows that it has willingly
surrendered itself into His hands and that it cannot deceive Him,
because He is aware of all things. Matters aren't as they are here
on earth, for all of earthly life is filled with deception and duplici-
ty: when you think you have won a friend, according to what
is shown you, you afterward come to understand that that was
all a lie. It isn't possible anymore to live in the midst of such
intrigue, especially present where there is something to be gained.
Blessed is the soul the Lord brings to the understanding of
truth! Oh, how fit a state this is for kings! How much more
worthwhile it would be for them to strive for this stage of prayer
rather than for great dominion! What righteousness there would
be in the kingdom! What evils they would avoid and have avoid-
ed! In this stage one does not fear to lose one's life or honor for
the love of God! What a great blessing this is for anyone who
has a greater obligation to look after the honor of God than do
all those who are subordinate, since these latter must follow their
kings! For one fraction of an increase in faith and for having
given some light to the heretics such a king would be willing
to lose a thousand kingdoms — and rightly so; for the gain would
be far greater: a kin rdom without an end, which, when the soul
tastes only one drop oi its water, makes everything here below
seem repulsive. How much more if the soul be immersed in this
water?
2. O Lord! Were You to give me the office by which I could
shout this aloud, they would not believe me, as they do not believe
many who know how to say this better than I; but at least it
would be satisfying to me. It seems to me I would have held
my life in little account in order to make known only one of these
186
St. Teresa of Avila
truths; I don't know what I might have done afterward, for I
am not trustworthy. In spite of what I am, I experience great
consuming impulses to tell these truths to those who are rulers.
When I can do no more, I turn to You, my Lord, to beg of You
a remedy for all. And You know well that I would very willing-
ly dispossess myself of the favors You have granted me and give
them to the kings, providing I could remain in a state in which
I do not offend You; because I know that it would then be im-
possible for them to consent to the things that are now consented
to, nor would these favors fail to bring the greatest blessings.
3. O my God! Give kings an understanding of their obliga-
tions. For You have desired to point these kings out on earth
in such a way that I have even heard it said that there are signs
in heaven when You take one away.2 Indeed, at the thought of
this my devotion increases, that You, my King, desire that even
by such happenings they realize that they must be imitators of
You in life since at their death there is a sign in heaven, as when
You died.
4. I am becoming very bold. Tear this up if it sounds bad
to your Reverence and believe me that I would say it better in
person if I could, or if I thought they would believe me, for I
very earnestly commend them to God and would like to be of
some help. Everything makes the soul risk its life; I frequently
desire to be without life, and the risk to gain much costs but
little. There is no one now living who sees directly the great il-
lusion in which we walk and the blindness we suffer.
5. Once the soul has reached this stage, what it possesses for
God is not only desires; His Majesty gives it the strength to put
these desires into practice. There is nothing that comes to mind
that it thinks would be of service to Him that it wouldn't ven-
ture to do; and the cost to it is nothing, because, as I say,3 it
sees clearly that everything other than pleasing God is nothing.
The trouble is that for persons as useless as myself there are few
opportunities to do something. May You be pleased, my God,
that there come a time in which I may be able to repay You
even one mite of all I owe You. Ordain, Lord, as You wish,
how this servant of Yours may in some manner serve You.
Others were women, and they have done heroic things for love
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 21
187
of You. I'm not good for anything but talk, and so You don't
desire, my God, to put me to work; everything adds up to just
words and desires about how much I must serve, and even in
this I don't have freedom, because I might perhaps fail in
everything. Fortify my soul and dispose it first, Good of all goods
and my Jesus, and then ordain ways in which I might do
something for You, for there is no longer anyone who can suf-
fer to receive so much and not repay anything. Cost what it may,
Lord, do not desire that I come into Your presence with hands
so empty, since the reward must be given in conformity with
one's deeds. Here is my life, here is my honor and my will. I
have given all to You, I am Yours, make use of me according
to Your will. I see clearly, Lord, the little I'm capable of. But
having reached You, having climbed to this watchtower, I see
truths. I can do all things, providing You do not leave me. Were
You to leave, for however short a time, I would return to where
I was, which was in hell.
6. Oh, how painful it is for a soul who finds itself in this stage
to have to return to dealing with everything, to behold and see
the face of this so poorly harmonized life, to waste time in tak-
ing care of bodily needs, sleeping, and eating! Everything wearies
it; it doesn't know how to flee; it sees itself captured and in chains.
Then it feels more truly the misery of life and the captivity we
endure because of our bodies. It knows the reason St. Paul had
for beseeching God to be liberated from the body;4 it cries out
with him; it begs God for freedom, as I have mentioned at other
times.3 But in this state the impulse is often so great that it
seems the soul wants to leave the body and go in search of this
freedom since there is no one else who will free it. It goes about
as one sold into a foreign land, and what wearies it most is that
it doesn't find many who will complain with it and beg for this
freedom; rather, what is more common is the desire to live. Oh,
if only we were not bound to anything, if our satisfaction were
not derived from any earthly thing, how the pain experienced
from always living without Him and the desire to enjoy the true
life would temper the fear of death!
7. If someone like myself, to whom the Lord has given this
light (in spite of such lukewarm charity and such uncertainty
188
St. Teresa of Avila
about true rest on account of my not having merited it through
my deeds), often feels so strongly the fact of my exile, I at times
wonder what the feeling of the saints must have been. What must
St. Paul and the Magdalene and others like them have
undergone, in whom this fire of the love of God had grown so
intense? It must have been a continual martyrdom.
It seems to me that those who bring me some relief, and in
whose company I find rest, are persons who I find have
themselves these desires — I mean desires accompanied by works.
I say accompanied by works because there are some persons who,
in their own opinion, are detached; so they publish the fact. And
the fact of their detachment should be true since their state
demands it as well as the many years that have passed since some
of them have set out on the way of perfection. But this soul
recognizes well, from far off, those who have only a lot of words
and those who have confirmed their words with works. It
understands the small amount of good that the former do and
the great amount that the latter do — and this is something that
anyone who has experience sees very clearly.
8. I have already mentioned these effects that the raptures that
are from God's Spirit cause; the truth is that these effects are
greater or less. I say less, because in the beginning, even though
the rapture causes these effects, they are not proven with deeds;
thus it cannot be determined whether they are present. The rap-
tures also make perfection grow, and they take away every trace
of a cobweb — and this requires time. The more that love and
humility grow, the greater the fragrance these flowers of virtues
give off, both for oneself and for others. It is true that in one
of these raptures the Lord can work in the soul in such a way
that only a little labor is still required in order that it reach perfec-
tion, for no one who doesn't have this experience will be able
to believe what the Lord gives the soul in this stage. In my opi-
nion no effort of ours brings us to this perfection. I don't deny
that someone with the help of God, making use of the means
mentioned by authors who have written about prayer, its prin-
ciples, and properties, will by means of many efforts reach perfec-
tion and great detachment. But they will not do so in as short
a time as it takes for the Lord to accomplish it in this stage,
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 21
189
without anything done on our part. He definitely draws the soul
up from the earth and gives it dominion over every earthly thing,
even though there may be no more merits in it than there were
in me — and I cannot overstress this absence of merit in me,
because I had hardly any.
9. Why His Majesty does this is because He wants to, and
He does it in the way He wants to; and even though the soul
may not be ready, His Majesty prepares it to receive the good
He gives it. Wherefore He doesn't always give raptures because
souls have merited them through good cultivation of the garden
(although it is very certain that anyone who does take good care
of the garden and strives to be detached will not fail to be
favored), but sometimes it is His will to show His greatness on
very wretched soil, as I have said.6 He so prepares the soul for
every good that it seems it is not longer capable, after a fashion,
of turning back to its former life of offending God. Its thought
becomes so accustomed to understanding what the real truth is
that everything else seems to it to be child's play. It sometimes
laughs to itself when it sees seriously religious and prayerful per-
sons making a big issue out of some rules of etiquette which it
has already trampled under foot. They claim that this is a mat-
ter of discretion and of the prestige accompanying their office
so that they might bring about more good. The soul knows very
well that they would bring about more good in one day than
they would in ten years if for the love of God they thought a
lot less of the prestige of their office.
10. Thus it lives a laborious life and always with the cross,
but it continues to grow rapidly. When it is observed by its com-
panions it seems to be at the summit. Within a short while it
is much improved because God always goes on favoring it more.
It is His soul; it is He who has taken it into His charge, and
thus He illumines it. For it seems that by His assistance. He
is ever guarding it from offending Him and favoring it and
awakening it to His service.
When my soul reached this stage where God granted it such
a great favor, the evil in me disappeared, and the Lord gave
me strength to break away from it. It didn't bother me to be
amid the occasions of falling and with people who formerly
190
St. Teresa of Avila
distracted me any more than if there were no occasions at all;
what used to do me harm was helping me. All things were a
means for my knowing and loving God more, for seeing what
1 owed Him, and for regretting what I had been.
1 1 . I understood well that these effects didn't come from me,
nor did I gain them through my diligence, for there wasn't even
time for that. His Majesty solely out of His goodness had given
me fortitude for them.
From the time the Lord began to grant me the favor of these
raptures up until now, this fortitude has always been increas-
ing; and in His goodness He has held me by His hand so that
I might not turn back. Nor does it seem to me that I do hardly
anything on my part — and that is true; I understand clearly that
it is the Lord who does everything. Hence it seems to me that
souls upon whom the Lord bestows these favors and who receive
them with humility and fear — always understanding that it is
the Lord Himself who grants them and that we ourselves do
almost nothing — could be placed in the company of any kind
of people. Even if these people are distracted and corrupt, the
soul will not be disturbed or enticed in anything; on the con-
trary, this experience will help it and serve as a means to greater
progress. These are now strong souls the Lord chooses to benefit
others, even though their fortitude doesn't come from themselves.
Little by little, as the soul approaches the Lord in this stage,
He communicates to it very deep secrets.
12. Here in this ecstasy are received the true revelations and
the great favors and visions — and all serves to humiliate and
strengthen the soul, to lessen its esteem for the things of this life,
and to make it know more clearly the grandeurs of the reward
the Lord has prepared for those who serve Him.
May it please His Majesty that the extraordinarv generosity
He has shown this miserable sinner serve to encourage and rouse
those who read this to abandon completely everything for God.
If His Majesty repays so fully that even in this life the reward
and gain possessed by those who serve Him is clearly seen, what
will this reward be in the next life?
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 22
191
Chapter 22
Treats of how safe a path it is for contemplatives not to raise the spirit
to high things unless the Lord raises it and of how the humanity of Christ
must be the means to the most sublime contemplation. Tells about a mistaken
theory she once tried to follow. This chapter is very beneficial.
THERE IS ONE THING I want to say that in my opinion
is important. If your Reverence thinks it is good, it can
be used for giving advice since it could happen that you will have
need of it. In some books written on prayer it is said that even
though the soul cannot reach this state of prayer by itself, since
the work is an entirely supernatural one that the Lord effects
in the soul, it will be able to help itself by lifting the spirit above
all creatures and humbly raising it up, and that the soul can do
this after having passed many years in the purgative life while
it is advancing in the illuminative. (I don't really know why they
say illuminative; I understand it to refer to those who are ad-
vancing.) They give strong advice to rid oneself of all corporeal
images and to approach contemplation of the Divinity. They
say that in the case of those who are advancing, these corporeal
images, even when referring to the humanity of Christ, are an
obstacle or impediment to the most perfect contemplation. In
support of this theory they quote what the Lord said to the
Apostles about the coming of the Holy Spirit — I mean at the
time of His Ascension.1 They think that since this work is en-
tirely spiritual, any corporeal thing can hinder or impede it, that
one should try to think of God in a general way, that He is
everywhere, and chat we are immersed in Him.
This is good, it seems to me, sometimes; but to withdraw com-
pletely from Christ or that this divine Body be counted in a
balance with our own miseries or with all creation, I cannot en-
dure. May it please His Majesty that I be able to explain myself,
2. I am not contradicting this theory; those who hold it are
learned and spiritual men and they know what they are saying,
and God leads souls by many paths and ways. I want to speak
now of the way He led my soul — I'm not considering other
ways — and of the danger I found myself in for wanting to pf_:t
192
St. Teresa of Avila
into practice what I was reading. I really believe that anyone
who reaches the experience of union without passing beyond — I
mean to raptures and visions and other favors God grants to
souls — will think what is said in these books is the best practice,
as I did. But if I should have kept to that practice, I believe I
would never have arrived at where I am now because in my opi-
nion the practice is a mistaken one. Now it could be that I am
the mistaken one, but I'll speak of what happend to me.
3. I had no master and was reading these books in which I
thought I was gradually coming to understand something. (And
afterward I understood that if the Lord didn't show me, I was
able to learn little from books, because there was nothing I
understood until His Majesty gave me understanding through
experience, nor did I know what I was doing.) As a result, when
I began to experience something of supernatural prayer, I mean
of the prayer of quiet, I strove to turn aside from everything
corporeal, although I did not dare lift up the soul — since I was
always so wretched, I saw that doing so would be boldness. But
it seemed to me that I felt the presence of God, as was so, and
I strove to recollect myself in His presence. This is a pleasing
prayer, if God helps in it, and the delight is great. Since I felt
that benefit and consolation, there was no one who could have
made me return to the humanity of Christ; as a matter of fact,
I thought the humanity was an impediment. O Lord of my soul
and my Good, Jesus Christ crucified! At no time do I recall this
opinion I had without feeling pain; it seems to me I became a
dreadful traitor — although in ignorance.
4. I had been so devoted all my life to Christ (for I held this
opinion toward the end, that is, just before the Lord granted
me these favors of raptures and visions,2 and I didn't remain
long in so extreme a practice of it); and thus I always returned
to my custom of rejoicing in this Lord, especially when I received
Communion. I wanted to keep ever before my eyes a painting
or image of Him since I was unable to keep Him as engraved
in my soul as I desired. Is it possible, my Lord, that it entered
my mind for even an hour that You would be an impediment
to my greater good? Where have all my blessings come from
but from You? I don't want to think I was at fault in this, because
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 22
193
it deeply saddens me — and certainly it was ignorance. Thus You
desired, in Your goodness, to remedy the matter by sending me
someone who would draw me away from this error — and after-
ward by letting me see You so many times, as I shall explain
later on-:i so that I would understand more clearly how great
the error is, and tell many persons what I just said, and put it
in writing here.
5. In my opinion this practice is why many souls, when they
reach the prayer of union, do not advance further or attain a
very great freedom of spirit. It seems to me there are two reasons
on which I can base my thinking. Perhaps I'm saying nothing,
but what I'm about to say I've seen through experience. My soul
was in a very bad state until the Lord gave it light. All its con-
solations were coming in small portions, and, once they were
passed, it didn't then have the companionship of Christ to help
in trials and temptations. The first reason4 is lack of humility
in such persons; so small is this lack and so hidden and con-
cealed that it goes unnoticed. Who is so proud and miserable — as
I am— that they will not, after having labored the whole of life
with as many penances, prayers, and persecutions as can be im-
agined, feel greatly enriched and well paid when the Lord allows
them to remain at the foot of the cross with St. John?5 Not to
feel greatly enriched by this could happen only to stupid per-
sons like myself, for in every way I was losing when I should
have been gaining.
6. If our nature or health doesn't allow us to think always about
the Passion, since to do so would be arduous, who will prevent
us from being with Him in His risen state? We have Him so
near in the Blessed Sacrament, where He is already glorified
and where we don't have to gaze upon Him as being so tired
and worn out, bleeding, wearied by His journeys, persecuted
by those for whom He did so much good, and not believed in
by the Apostles. Certainly there is no one who can endure think-
ing all the time about the many trials He suffered. Behold Him
here without suffering, full of glory, before ascending into heaven,
strengthening some, encouraging others, our companion in the
most Blessed Sacrament; it doesn't seem it was in His power
to leave us for even a moment. And what a pity it was for me
194
St. Teresa of Avila
to have left You, my Lord, under the pretext of serving You
more! When I was offending You I didn't know You; but how,
once knowing You, did I think I could gain more by this path!
Oh, what a bad road I was following, Lord! Now it seems to
me I was walking on no path until You brought me back, for
in seeing You at my side I saw all blessings. There is no trial
that it wasn't good for me to suffer once I looked at You as You
were, standing before the judges. Whoever lives in the presence
of so good a friend and excellent a leader, who went ahead of
us to be the first to suffer, can endure all things. The Lord helps
us, strengthens us, and never fails; He is a true friend. And I
see clearly, and I saw afterward, that God desires that if we are
going to please Him and receive His great favors, we must do
so through the most sacred humanity of Christ, in whom He
takes His delight.6 Many, many times have I perceived this
truth through experience. The Lord has told it to me. I have
definitely seen that we must enter by this gate7 if we desire His
sovereign Majesty to show us great secrets.
7. Thus your Reverence and lordship8 should desire no other
path even if you are at the summit of contemplation; on this
road you walk safely. This Lord of ours is the one through whom
all blessings come to us. He will teach us these things. In
beholding His life we find that He is the best example. What
more do we desire than to have such a good friend at our side,
who will not abandon us in our labors and tribulations, as friends
in the world do? Blessed are they who truly love Him and always
keep Him at their side! Let us consider the glorious St. Paul:
it doesn't seem that any other name fell from his lips than that
of Jesus, as coming from one who kept the Lord close to his heart.
Once I had come to understand this truth, I carefully considered
the lives of some of the saints, the great contemplatives, and found
that they hadn't taken any other path: St. Francis demonstrates
this through the stigmata; St. Anthony of Padua, with the In-
fant; St. Bernard found his delight in the humanity; St. Catherine
of Siena— and many others about whom your Reverence knows
more than I.
8. This practice of turning aside from corporeal things must
be good, certainly, since such spiritual persons advise it. But,
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 22
195
in my opinion, the soul should be very advanced because until
then it is clear that the Creator must be sought through creatures.
Everything depends on the favor the Lord grants to each soul;
this is not what I'm concerned with. What I wanted to explain
was that the most sacred humanity of Christ must not be counted
in a balance with other corporeal things. And may this point
be well understood, for I should like to know how to explain
myself.
9. When God desires to suspend all the faculties, as we have
seen in the kinds of prayer that were mentioned,1' it is clear
that, even though we may not so desire, this presence is taken
away. Then let it be so — gladly; blessed be such a loss that enables
us to enjoy more that which it seems is lost. For then the soul
is occupied completely in loving the One whom the intellect
labored to know, and loves what it didn't understand, and re-
joices in so great a joy that it couldn't have experienced it save
by losing itself in order, as I say, to gain itself. But that we should
skillfully and carefully accustom ourselves to avoid striving with
all our strength to keep this most sacred humanity always pre-
sent (and please the Lord it would be present always), this, I
say, is what I don't think is good. The soul is left floating in the
air, as they say; it seems it has no support no matter how much
it may think it is full of God. It is an important thing that while
we are living and are human we have human support. This disad-
vantage of not having human support leads to the other reason
I referred to. With regard to the first reason, I already began
to say10 that there is a small lack of humility in wanting to raise
the soul up before the Lord raises it, in not being content to
meditate on something so valuable, and in wanting to be Mary
before having worked with Martha.11 When the Lord desires to
raise up the soul, even if He does so from the first day, there
is no reason for fear; but let us restrain ourselves as I believe
I said before. This little speck of lack of humility, even though
it seems to be nothing, does much harm to progress in
contemplation.
10. Returning to the second point, we are not angels but we
have a body. To desire to be angels while we are on earth — and
as much on earth as I was — is foolishness. Ordinarily, thought
196
St. Teresa of Avila
needs to have some support. If at times the soul goes out of itself
or goes about so full of God that it has no need of any createc
thing to become recollected, this isn't so usual. When one is in
the midst of business matters, and in times of persecutions and
trials, when one can't maintain so much quietude, and in times
of dryness, Christ is a very good friend because we behold Him
as man and see Him with weaknesses and trials — and He is com-
pany for us. Once we have the habit, it is very easy to find Him
present at our side, although there will come times when neither
the one experience nor the other will be possible. In such an
instance a good attitude is the one I've already mentioned:12
not to allow ourselves to be seekers of spiritual consolations.
Thus, embracing the cross, come what may, is an important
thing. This Lord was deprived of every consolation; they left
Him alone in His trials. Let us not abandon Him, for He will
give us better support than our own efforts that we might as-
cend higher, and He will absent Himself when He sees such
absence is fitting and when He desires to draw the soul out of
itself, as I said.13
11. God is very pleased to see a soul that humbly takes His
son as mediator and that loves this Son so much that even when
His Majesty desires to raise it to very lofty contemplation, as
I have said,14 it is aware of its unworthiness, saying with St.
Peter: Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.15
Such has been my experience; it's the way God has led my
soul. Others will journey, as I've said,16 by another short cut.
What I have come to understand is that this whole groundwork
of prayer is based on humility and that the more a soul lowers
itself in prayer the more God raises it up. I don't recall His ever
having granted me one of the very notable favors of which I shall
speak later if not at a time when I was brought to nothing at
the sight of my wretchedness. And, so as to help me know myself,
His Majesty even strove to give me an understanding of things
that I wouldn't have known how to imagine. I hold that when
the soul does something on its own to help itself in this prayer
of union, even though this may at first seem beneficial, it will
very soon fall again since it doesn't have a good foundation. I
fear that it will never attain true poverty of spirit, which means
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 22
197
being at rest in labors and dryness and not seeking consolation
or comfort in prayer — for earthly consolation has already been
abandoned — but seeking consolation in trials for love of Him
who always lived in the midst of them. Although if some con-
solation is felt, it shouldn't cause the disturbance and pain it does
to some persons who think that if they aren't always working
with the intellect and striving for devotion all is lost — as though
so great a blessing could be merited by their labor. I don't say
that they shouldn't strive carefully to remain in God's presence,
but that if they can't even get a good thought, as I've mentioned
elsewhere,17 they shouldn't kill themselves. We are useless ser-
vants, what do we think we can do?
12. But the Lord desires us to recognize our uselessness and
become like the little donkeys that turn the waterwheel I've men-
tioned:18 although their eyes are blinded and they don't know
what they are doing, they obtain more water than the gardener
does with all his activity. People must walk along this path in
freedom, placing themselves in the hands of God. If His Majes-
ty should desire to raise us to the position of one who is an in-
timate and shares His secrets, we ought to accept gladly; if not,
we ought to serve in the humbler tasks and not sit down in the
best place,19 as I've once said. God is more careful than we are,
and He knows what is fitting for each one. What do persons
gain by governing themselves when they have given their wills
entirely to God? In my opinion, much less is allowed here than
in the first degree of prayer, and the harm that can come is much
greater. These blessings are supernatural. If individuals have
bad voices, the effort to sing does them no good no matter how
hard they try; if God desires to give them good voices, there
is no need beforehand that there be any shouting. Thus, with
souls surrendered to His will, yet trusting in His greatness, let
us always beseech God to grant us favors. Since the soul receives
permission to remain at the feet of Christ, it should endeavor
not to leave that place. Let it remain there as it desires; let it
imitate the Magdalene, for if it is strong, God will lead it into
the desert.20
13. Thus, until your Reverence finds someone with more ex-
perience than I, and who knows better, you should keep to this
St. Teresa of Avila
opinion. If there are persons who are beginning to find delight
in God, do not believe them if they think that by helping
themselves they are making progress and finding more consola-
tion. Oh, when God so wills, how He is revealed openly without
these little helps from us! For however much we may do, He
carries off the spirit as a giant would a piece of straw — and no
resistance suffices. What a strange belief it is, that the toad should
expect to fly of itself whenever it wants. And it seems to me to
be even more difficult and troublesome for our spirit to raise
itself up if God doesn't raise it, for it is weighed down with the
earth and a thousand obstacles, and wanting to fly profits it lit-
tle. Although flying is more natural to it than to the toad, it is
so bogged down in the mud that through its own faults it lost
this ability.
14. Well I want to conclude by saying this: As often as we
think of Christ we should recall the love with which He bestowed
on us so many favors and what great love God showed us in
giving us a pledge like this of His love, for love begets love. Even
if we are at the very beginning and are very wretched, let us
strive to keep this divine love always before our eyes and to waken
ourselves to love. If at some time the Lord should favor us by
impressing this love on our hearts, all will become easy for us,
and we shall carry out our tasks quickly and without much ef-
fort. May His Majesty give this love — since He knows how fit-
ting it is for us — on account of the love He bore us and on ac-
count of His glorious Son, who demonstrated His love for us
at so great a cost to Himself, amen.
15. There is one thing I should like to ask your Reverence.
When the Lord begins to grant such sublime favors to a soul,
as is that of placing it in perfect contemplation, rightly speak-
ing it should at once become completely perfect. Certainly this
ought to be so because whoever receives so great a favor should
not have to desire earthly consolations any more. Well why, then,
as the soul grows accustomed to receiving favors and raptures,
does it seem that the more favors it receives the more detached
it becomes? For in one moment the Lord can leave it sanctified
just as, with the passing of time, He afterward leaves it with
perfection in the virtues?
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 22
199
This is what I want to know since I don't know what the answer
is. What I do know well is the difference between the fortitude
God leaves when in the beginning the favor lasts no longer than
the blinking of an eye, and is almost not felt save in its effects,
and that which He leaves when it lasts longer. Often it seems
to me the reason is that the soul doesn't dispose itself complete-
ly until the Lord, fostering it little by little, gives it the deter-
mination and strength of an adult so that it might trample
everything underfoot. What He did in a short time for the
Magdalene His Majesty does for other persons in conformity
with what they themselves do in order to allow Him to work.
Let us not cease to believe that even in this life God gives the
hundredfold.21
16. I was also thinking about this comparison. Since what is
given to those who are further advanced is totally the same as
that given to them in the beginning, we can compare it to a food
that many persons eat. Those who eat just a little are left only
with a good taste in their mouth for a short while; those who
eat more, receive nourishment; those who eat a great deal receive
life and strength. So frequently can these latter eat and so filled
are they from this food of life that they no longer eat anything
that satisfies them other than this food. They see how beneficial
it is to them, and their taste has so adapted to this sweetness
that it would prefer not living to having to eat other things that
serve for no more than to take away the pleasing taste the good
food leaves behind.
Neither is conversation with a saintly companion as beneficial
when it lasts only one day as when it lasts many; and if it is pro-
longed over many, it will make us similar to the other — if God
favors us. In the end, everything depends on what His Majesty
desires and to whom He desires to give this food. But it is very
important for whoever is already beginning to receive this favor
to have the determination to become completely detached and
to esteem the favor as it should be esteemed.
17. It also seems to me that His Majesty is testing to see who
it is who loves Him; He tests now this one, now another, by
revealing who He is with a superb delight and by quickening
faith — if it is dead — in what He will give us, saying: "Look, this
200
St. Teresa of Avila
is but a drop from the vast sea of blessings." He does this so
as to leave nothing undone for those who love Him; in the
measure He sees that they receive Him, so He gives and is given.
He loves whoever loves Him; how good a beloved! how good
a friend! O Lord of my soul, who has the words to explain what
You give to those who trust in You and to explain what those
lose who reach this state and yet remain with themselves! Do
not desire a loss like this, Lord, since You do so much in com-
ing to a dwelling place as shabby as mine. May You be blessed
forever and ever!
18. If your Reverence discusses with spiritual persons these
things I have written on prayer, I again beg you that these per-
sons be truly spiritual. For if they know only one road or have
stalled in the middle, they will not be able to understand. There
are some whom God right from the start leads by a very sublime
path, and it seems to them that thus others will be able to profit
by this path, quiet the intellect, and not make use of corporeal
means, but in so doing those others will be left as dry as sticks.
Some who have experienced a little quietude immediately think
that since they have this quiet they can raise themselves up; and
instead of advancing they slip backward, as I have said. 11 So
experience and discretion are necessary in all matters. May the
Lord in His goodness give them to us.
Chapter 23
Returns to the account of her life, of how she began to seek greater perfec-
tion, and by what means. For persons trying to guide souls that practice
prayer it is helpful to know how these souls must proceed in the begin-
ning. How she profited from knowing about this.
I NOW WANT TO RETURN to where I left off about my
life,1 for I think I delayed more than I should have so that
what follows would be better understood. This is another, new
book from here on — I mean another, new life. The life dealt
with up to this point was mine; the one I lived from the point
where I began to explain these things about prayer is the one
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 23
201
God lived in me — according to the way it appears to me — because
I think it would have been impossible in so short a time to get
rid of so many bad habits and deeds. May the Lord be praised
who freed me from myself.
2. Now, then, when I began to avoid occasions and devote
myself to prayer, the Lord, as one who desired, so it seemed,
that I be willing to receive them, started to grant me favors. His
Majesty began to give me the prayer of quiet very habitually —
and often, of union — which lasted a long while. Since at that
time other women had fallen into serious illusions and decep-
tions caused by the devil,2 I began to be afraid. I experienced
wonderful delight and sweetness, and often without being able
to avoid it, and in addition I was aware of the greatest assurance
that this delight was from God, especially when I was in the
prayer — and I observed that I came out of it much improved
and strengthened. But after a little distraction I began to fear
and wonder whether the devil, making me think the experience
was good, wanted me to suspend the intellect so that he could
draw me away from mental prayer and so that I might not think
upon the Passion or benefit from the use of the intellect, which
seemed to me a great loss because I didn't understand this prayer.
3. Moreover, since His Majesty desired now to enlighten me
so that I might no longer offend Him and might know my great
debt to Him, this fear increased in such a way that it made me
diligently seek out spiritual persons to consult. I had already
heard about some because they had come to this town and were
members of the Society of Jesus3 of which — without knowing
any of the members — I was very fond, only from hearing about
the mode of life and prayer they followed. But I didn't feel worthy
to speak to them or strong enough to obey them, and this made
me more fearful; it would have been a difficult thing for me to
converse with them and yet be what I was.
4. I went about like this for some time until, after a great strug-
gle within me and many tears, I resolved both to talk to a spiritual
person (to ask him what prayer it was I was experiencing and
to enlighten me if I were going astray) and to do all I could so
as not to offend God. For, as I just said,4 the lack of fortitude
I saw in myself made me so timid. What a terrible mistake, God
202
St. Teresa of Avila
help me, that in wanting to be good I withdrew from good! The
devil must meddle a great deal in this matter when virtue is begin-
ning; I couldn't make the fear go away. He knows that the com-
plete remedy for a soul lies in consulting the friends of God; thus
I didn't have the determination to do this. I was waiting to amend
first, as when I abandoned prayer,5 and perhaps I would never
have done so, because I had fallen into little bad habits to such
an extent that I was unable to understand they were bad. I needed
the help of others and that they give me a hand to lift me up.
Blessed be the Lord, for, finally, His was the first.
5. Since I saw that my fear was increasing— because the prayer
was increasing— it seemed to me there was in the prayer either
some great good or some terrible evil. I understood well that
I was already experiencing something supernatural because
sometimes I was unable to resist; to have it whenever I wanted
was out of the question. I thought to myself there would be no
remedy if I didn't strive to have a clean conscience and withdraw
from every occasion, even if it concerned venial sins. For if the
prayer were from God's Spirit, there would obviously be
something to gain from striving for purity of conscience; if it
were from the devil, my striving to please the Lord and not of-
fend Him could do me little harm — on the contrary, the devil
would be the loser. Resolved to strive for this purity of cons-
cience and beseeching the Lord to help me, I saw, after trying
it for some days, that my soul didn't have the strength to reach
such perfection alone on account of some attachments that,
though in themselves were not bad, were enough to spoil
everything.
6. They told me about a learned priest6 in this city whose
goodness and edifying life the Lord had begun to make known
to the people. I tried to get to speak to him through the help
of a saintly gentleman7 who lives in this city. This gentleman
is married, but he lives so exemplary and virtuous a life and
is so prayerful and charitable that his goodness and perfection
shine throughout the whole town. There is every reason for his
renown because great good has come to many souls by means
of him. He has so many talents that even though his state in
life isn't a help to him, he cannot refrain from using them: he
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 23
203
is most intelligent and very gentle with everyone; his conversa-
tion, not at all boring, so mild and charming as well as upright
and holy, is most pleasing to those with whom he deals; he directs
everything toward the great good of the souls with whom he is
conversing; and it doesn't seem that he has any other concern
than to do for everyone what he sees is possible and to be pleas-
ing to all.
7. Well, this blessed and holy man, with his diligence, it seems
to me, was the principal means by which my soul was saved.
His humility amazes me. I believe he has practiced prayer for
a little less than forty years — I don't know if it's two or three
years less. He lives a complete life of perfection insofar as it seems
his state allows. His wife is such a great servant of God and so
charitable that he is not held back by her. In sum, God chose
her to be the wife of someone who He knew would be a great
servant of His. Some of his relatives were married to some of
mine; he also had a good deal of association with another great
servant of God8 who was married to a cousin of mine.
8. In this way I arranged that the priest I said was such a ser-
vant of God would come to speak to me.. This gentleman was
a great friend of that priest whom I thought I could take as my
confessor and master. When he brought him to speak to me,
I was most embarrassed to find myself in the presence of so holy
a man, and I gave him an account of my soul and my prayer;
but I didn't want him to hear my confession. I told him I was
very busy — and that was true. He began with a holy determina-
tion to guide me as though I were a strong person — for by rights
I should have been so because of the prayer he observed I was
experiencing — in order that I might in no way offend God. When
I saw him at once so determined about little things that, as I
say," I didn't have the fortitude to give up immediately and so
perfectly, I was afflicted. Since I saw he was taking my soul's
attachments as something I would have to die to all at once, I
realized there was need for much more caution.
9. In sum, I understood that the means he gave me were not
the ones by which I could remedy my situation, because they
were suited to a more perfect soul. As for myself, even though
I was advanced in receiving favors from God, I was very much
204
St. Teresa of Avila
at the beginning with regard to virtues and mortification. Cer-
tainly, if I were to have had no one else but him to speak to,
I believe my soul would never have improved. For the affliction
I felt in seeing that I did not do — nor did it seem I could do —
that which he told me would have been enough to make me lose
hope and give up everything.
I sometimes marvel that God was not pleased that this priest,
being a person who has a particular grace for beginning to lead
souls to God, understand my soul and take charge of it. I see
that what happened was all for my greater good, that I might
get to know and deal with people as holy as are those of the Socie-
ty of Jesus.
10. It was then that I arranged that the holy gentleman come
sometime to see me. Here I saw his great humility, that he wished
to talk to someone as wretched as myself. He began to visit me,
encourage me, and tell me that I shouldn't think I could give
up everything in one day, that little by little God would do the
work, that he himself had been for some years unable to make
a break with some very trivial things. O humility, what great
blessings you bestow where you are present and on those who
approach the one who possesses you! This saint (for in my opi-
nion I can rightly call him by this name), in his humility and
for my benefit, told me about his weakness, which to him seemed
to be such. Considering what was in conformity with his state
in life, there was no fault or imperfection — whereas my having
such weaknesses would have been the greatest fault with respect
to my state of life.
I do not mention this without a reason, for it seems I am go-
ing on at length about trifles; but these things are so important
in beginning to help a soul and show it how to fly (for it still
hasn't any wings, as they say) that no one will believe what I
say save the one who has passed through it. Because I hope in
God that your Reverence will be able to help many souls, I men-
tion it here; this gentleman was my complete salvation in knowing
how to cure me and in having the humility and the charity to
stay with me — and patience while seeing that I wasn't making
amends in everything. He proceeded with discretion little by little
showing me ways to conquer the devil. I began to have such
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 23
205
a great love for him that there was no greater recreation for me
than on the days I saw him, although they were few. When he
was late, I became very worried because it then seemed to me
that since I was so wretched he wasn't going to see me.
1 1 . Since he was getting to know my very great imperfections,
and they would even be sins — although after I spoke with him
I made greater amends — and since I mentioned to him the favors
granted me by God so that he could give me light, he told me
that my imperfections were incompatible with the favors and
that these gifts were bestowed on persons who were already very
advanced and mortified, that he couldn't help but fear a great
deal because in some things it seemed to him there was a bad
spirit, although he didn't come to a definite conclusion. But he
thought well of all that he understood about my prayer, and he
said so. The difficulty was that I didn't know how to say either
little or much about my prayer; for only recently did God give
me this favor of understanding what it is and knowing how to
speak about it.
12. Since this gentleman told me about his fear, and with the
fear I already had, I felt greatly afflicted and shed many tears.
For, certainly, I desired to please God, and I could not persuade
myself that the devil was the cause. But I feared that on account
of my great sins God blinded me so that I couldn't know the
cause. Looking through books in order to see if I could learn
how to explain the prayer I was experiencing, I found in one
they called Ascent of the Mount, 10 where it touches upon the
union of the soul with God, all the signs I experienced in that
not thinking of anything. This was what I was most often say-
ing: that when I experienced that prayer I wasn't able to think
of anything. I marked the pertinent passages and gave him the
book so that he and the other priest I mentioned, the saintly
one and servant of God, might look it over and tell me what
I should do, and that if they thought I should, I would give up
prayer completely — for why should I place myself in these
dangers. If at the end of almost twenty years in which I prac-
ticed prayer, I showed no gain but was deceived by the devil,
it would be better not to practice it — although this too would
have been arduous for me because I had already experienced
St. Teresa of Avila
what my soul was without prayer. As a result, I saw danger
everywhere. I was like a person in the middle of a river trying
to get out; wherever she goes she fears greater peril there; and
she is almost drowning.
It is a very severe trial, this one; and I have suffered many
of these, as I shall say afterward.11 Although the matter may
seem unimportant, perhaps it will be helpful for an understand-
ing of how the spirit must be tried.
13. And certainly it is a great one, the trial that is suffered;
and caution is necessary, especially with women, because our
weakness is great, and a lot of harm could be done by telling
us outright that the cause is the devil. But the matter should
be considered carefully, and they should turn aside from any
dangers there might be and should be counseled on the impor-
tance of keeping things secret; this secrecy is fitting.
In this respect I am speaking as one who is suffering a bitter
trial because some persons with whom I have discussed my prayer
are not keeping it secret, but in consulting this one and that other,
they have truly done me great harm. They have spread things
that should have remained very secret — these matters are not
for everybody — and it seemed that I was the one who published
them abroad. I believe the Lord permitted it without any fault
on their part so that I might suffer. I'm not saying they spoke
about what I discussed with them in confession. But since they
were persons to whom because of my fears I gave an account
of myself that they might enlighten me, it seemed to me they
should have kept quiet. Nonetheless, I never dared to conceal
anything from these persons.
Well, I'm saying that one should counsel these souls wich great
discretion, encouraging them and biding one's time up til the Lord
helps them as He did me. If I had not been so treated, the greatest
harm would have been done to me because I was frightened and
scared. With the serious heart trouble I had, I'm amazed that
much damage wasn't clone to me.
It. Since I gave them both the book as well as zn account
of my life and sms:i as best I could (not through coniession,
since one U" diem was a las man, but I explained clearly how
wretch'.1 a i ;. two st ^ umj • n Go:' considered vvuh great
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 23
207
charity and love what was fitting for me.
I awaited the answer with terrible fear; after I had recommend-
ed myself to the prayers of many persons and prayed a great
deal myself during those days, one of them with much anguish
came and told me that in the considered opinion of both of them
the cause was the devil. He told me I should take the matter
up with a priest from the Society of Jesus, that if I asked the
priest, telling of my need, he would come, and that I should
give an account of my whole life and state by a general confes-
sion and be very frank in all, that by the power of the sacra-
ment of confession God would enlighten him, that these Fathers
were very experienced in spiritual matters, and that I shouldn't
neglect anything he might tell me, because I was in serious danger
if I didn't have someone to guide me.
15. This frightened and pained me so much that I didn't know
what to do; I was all tears. And while in an oratory very much
afflicted, not knowing what would become of me, I read in a
book — which it seems the Lord placed in my hands — what St.
Paul said, that God was very faithful, that He would never let
those who love Him be deceived by the devil.15 This consoled
me very deeply.
I began to prepare my general confession and put down in
writing all the good and bad things — as clear an account of my
life as I knew how to give, without leaving anything out.14
I recall that after I had written it, I saw so many evils and
so little of anything good that I was terribly distressed and in
the greatest anguish. Also I was pained that persons in the house
would see me speak with people as holy as are those of the Society
of Jesus. For I was in fear of my wretchedness; it seemed to me
I was going to have greater obligation to avoid evil and my
pastimes, and that things would grow worse If I didn't do this.
So I arranged with the sacristan and portress not to tell anyone.
This proved of little avail, for it happened that when they calJed
me someone was standing near the door who (hen it through-
out the whole convent telling about who c^.r.e if -.ee ~rc But
what obstacles and what fears the devil places i~ ■ « pat., c f the
one who wants to ^each God !
16. After I spoke with thai „• *x ?j. • or ' ^ " > -v
208
St. Teresa of Avila
very much so and most wise — all about my soul, as to someone
who well knew this langauge, he explained to me what I was
experiencing and greatly encouraged me. He said it was very
recognizably from God's Spirit, but that it was necessary to return
again to prayer, that the prayer did not have a good founda-
tion, and that I had not begun to understand mortification (and
that was true, for it doesn't seem to me I even understood the
word), that I should by no means give up prayer but strive very
hard since God had granted me such special favors. He wondered
if the Lord didn't desire to do good for many persons through
me, and said other things (for it seems he prophesied what the
Lord afterward did with me) and pointed out that I would be
very much at fault if I didn't respond to the favors God was grant-
ing me. In all that he said it seemed to me, according to what
was impressed upon my soul, that the Holy Spirit was speaking
through him in order to heal me.
17. He made me very ashamed; he guided me by means that
seemed to change me completely. What a great thing it is to
understand a soul! He told me that I should devote prayer each
day to a phase of the Passion, that I should benefit from this
prayer and dwell only on the humanity, and that I should resist
those experiences of recollection and consolation as much as I
could and in such a way that I would make no room for them
until he told me otherwise.
18. He left me consoled and encouraged, and the Lord helped
me and him to understand my situation and how I should be
guided. I remained determined not to lapse from his orders in
anything, and I continued to be so determined to this day.
Praised be the Lord who has given me the grace to obey my
confessors, even though imperfectly; they have almost always
been these blessed men from the Society of Jesus — although, as
I say, I have followed them imperfectly.
My soul began to improve noticeably, as I shall now describe.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 24
209
Chapter 24
Continues on the same topic. Tells how her soul made progress after she
began to obey, how little it helped her to resist God's favors, and how His
Majesty began giving her more perfect ones.
MY SOUL WAS LEFT SO DOCILE from this confes-
sion that it seemed to me there was nothing for which
I wouldn't prepare myself. As a consequence I began to make
many changes, although the confessor didn't press me; rather
it seemed that he thought all the changes of little importance.
And this urged me more because he guided my soul by stress-
ing the love of God and allowed freedom and used no pressure
if I didn't set about doing things out of love.
So for almost two months I was trying to resist with all my
might the gifts and favors of God. In exterior matters the change
was apparent because the Lord already began to grant me the
courage to practice some renunciation that in the judgment of
persons who knew me and even of some Sisters in my own
house1 appeared too extreme. When compared with my
previous way of life, this renunciation was extreme, and those
who thought so were right. But as for my obligation by reason
of the habit I wore and my profession, it fell short.
2. In resisting these consolations and favors of God, I gained
by learning something from His Majesty. For in the past I had
thought that to receive favors in prayer much seclusion was
necessary, and I hardly dared to stir. Afterward I saw how little
such effort mattered. The more I strove to distract myself, the
more the Lord enveloped me in that sweetness and glory, which
seemed to surround me so completely that there was no place
to escape — and that was true. I was so careful that it pained me.
The Lord was more careful in granting me favors and in reveal-
ing Himself to me; much more than usual in those two months
that I might better understand it was no longer in my power
to resist them.
I started again to love the most sacred humanity. Prayer began
to take shape as an edifice that now had a foundation; I grew
fond of more penance, for I had been negligent on account of
210
St. Teresa of Avila
the severity of my illnesses. That holy man who heard my con-
fession told me that some things could do me no harm, that
perhaps God gave me so much sickness because, since I didn't
do penance, His Majesty desired to give me some. He ordered
me to perform some mortifications which were not very pleas-
ing to me. I did everything because it seemed to me the Lord
commanded it, and God gave him the ability to command me
in such a way that I obeyed him. My soul began so to feel any
offense I committed against God, however small, that if I was
holding on to some superfluous thing, I could not recollect myself
until I gave the thing up. I prayed a great deal that the Lord
might keep me in His hands, that since He permitted me to con-
sult with His servants He would not allow me to turn back, for
it seemed to me that to turn back would have been a great
crime and that they would have lost their reputations on my
account.
3. At that time Father Francis2 came to this place. He had
been the Duke of Gandia, and some years before had given up
all and entered the Society of Jesus. My confessor, 5 and the
gentleman I also mentioned who came to me, arranged that I
might speak with him and give him an account of my prayer
because I knew that he was advancing in the favors and gifts
of God. Since he was one who had abandoned many things for
Him, God repaid him even in this life.
Well, after he had heard me, he told me that my experience
was from the Spirit of God and that it seemed to him it would
no longer be good to resist, but that up to this time it had been
all right, and that I should always begin prayer with an event
from the Passion, but that if afterward the Lord should carry
away the spirit I ought not resist Him but let His Majesty bear
it away — and not strive to do so myself. As one who was well
advanced he gave the medicine and the counsel, for experience
in this matter is very important. He said it would be a mistake
to resist any longer.
I was left greatly consoled. The gentleman too was very glad
that Father Francis said it was from God, and this gentleman
helped me and gave me advice in matters where he could, which
were many.
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 24
211
4. At that time they transferred my confessor4 to another
place. I felt his transfer very keenly, for I thought I would return
to my wretchedness; it didn't seem to me it would be possible
to find another like him. My soul was left as though in a desert,
very disconsolate and fearful. I didn't know what to do with
myself. A relative of mine arranged to bring me to her house,
and I tried to go immediately so as to get another confessor from
among those of the Society. The Lord was pleased that I become
friendly with a widow of high nobility5 who practised prayer
and was a very close friend of members of the Society. She made
me confess to her own confessor, and I stayed at her house for
many days. Her house was nearby, and I was glad to converse
a great deal with them; by merely listening to the holiness of
their conversation, my soul felt great benefit.
5. This Father began6 to lead me to greater perfection. He
told me that to please God completely I must leave nothing un-
done; he did so also with great skill and gentleness because my
soul still was not at all strong but very fragile, especially with
regard to giving up some friendships I had. Although I was not
offending God by them, I was very attached, and it seemed to
me it would be ingratitude to abandon them. So I questioned
why I should have to be ungrateful since I was not offending
God. He told me to commend the matter to God for some days
and to recite the hymn Veni Creator so that God might give me
light about the better course of action. One day, having spent
a long time in prayer and begging the Lord to help me please
Him in all things, I began the hymn; while saying it, a rapture
came upon me so suddenly that it almost carried me out of
myself.7 It was something I could not doubt, because it was
very obvious. It was the first time the Lord granted me this favor
of rapture. I heard these words: "No longer do I want you to
converse with men but with angels." This experience terrified
me because the movement of the soul was powerful and these
words were spoken to me deep within the spirit; so it frightened
me — although on the other hand I felt great consolation when
the fear that, I think, was caused by the novelty of the experience
left me.
6. These words have been fulfilled, for I have never again been
212
St. Teresa of Avila
able to tie myself to any friendship or to find consolation in or
bear particular love for any other persons than those I under-
stand love Him and strive to serve Him; nor is it in my power
to do so, nor does it matter whether they are friends or relatives.
If I'm not aware that the persons seek to love and serve God
or to speak about prayer, it is a painful cross for me to deal with
them. To the best of my knowledge this is most certainly true.
7. From that day on I was very courageous in abandoning
all for God, as one who had wanted from that moment — for it
doesn't seem to me it was otherwise — to change completely. Thus
it wasn't necessary that I be given any more commands. Since
my confessor saw me so attached in this matter, he hadn't dared
to say definitely that I should give up such attachments. He had
to wait for the Lord to do the work, as He did. Nor did I think
that I could succeed in this matter; I had already tried it, and
the distress it caused me was so great since the attachments didn't
seem to me to be improper, I abandoned the effort. Now in this
rapture the Lord gave me the freedom and strength to perform
the task. So I told the confessor and gave up all as he had ordered
me. It greatly benefited my confessor to see this determination
in me.
8. May God be blessed forever because in an instant He gave
me the freedom that I with all the efforts of many years could
not attain by myself, often trying so to force myself that my health
had to pay dearly. Since it was accomplished by Him who is
the powerful and true Lord of all, I felt no pain.
Chapter 25
Discusses the nature of these locutions the Lord grants to the soul without^
the use of the sense of hearing, some of the delusions that can result from\
these locutions, and how one can discern when they come from God. This\
chapter is most helpful and gives much doctine for those who find themselves\
in this degree of prayer since the matter is explained very well.
IT SEEMS TO ME it would be good to explain how this locu-
tion the Lord grants takes place and what the soul feels, so
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 25
213
that your Reverence may understand it. For from the time I
mentioned in which the Lord granted me this favor until now,
the favor has been very common, as will be seen in what re-
mains to be said.
The words are very explicit1 but are not heard with the bodi-
ly ears, although they are understood much more clearly than
they would be if heard — and to try, no matter how hard, to resist
understanding them is of no avail. When, here on earth, we don't
want to listen to something, we can stop our ears or so turn our
attention to something else that even though we hear we do not
understand. In the case of these words God addresses to the soul
there is no way of avoiding them; rather, even though 1 may
not want to, they make me listen and make the intellect so keenly
capable of understanding what God desires us to understand that
it is not enough either to desire or not to desire to understand.
He who can do all things wants us to understand that He must
do what He wants, and He shows Himself to be our true Lord.
I have a lot of experience of this because with the great fear I
bore I resisted for almost two years — and sometimes now I try
to resist, but to do so is of little avail.
2. I should like to explain the delusions that can take place
here, although it seems to me that for anyone who has much
experience there will be few or none at all; but there must be
much experience. And I also want to explain the difference that
lies between what comes from the good spirit and what comes
from the bad spirit and how the locution can also be an apprehen-
sion of the intellect itself— which can happen — or the spirit itself
speaking to itself. (In regard to this latter I don't know if it's possi-
ble, but even to this day it has seemed to me to be so.) As for
when it is from God I have had much experience in many things
that were said to me and were fulfilled after two or three years,
and of which up to the present nothing has turned out to be a
lie, and in other things where it is seen clearly to be from the
spirit of God, as I shall say afterward.
3. It seems to me that one could be recommending something
to God with great feeling and intensity and think one understands
something about whether it will be done or not, and this is very
possible — although anyone who has understood words coming
214
St. Teresa of Avila
from God will see clearly the nature of these words coming from
the intellect because the difference between the two is great. And
if they are something the intellect fabricates, no matter how subtly
it works, a person will know that it is the intellect that is com-
posing something and speaking. The difference is that in the one
case the words are composed and in the other they are listened
to. The intellect will see that it is not then listening because it
is working. And the words it fabricates are as though muffled,
fancied, and without the clarity of those that come from God.
It is in our power to divert our attention from these words of
the intellect, as we do when while speaking we decide to keep
quiet; in the case of those words that are from God there is no
way of diverting one's attention.
Another sign more noticeable than all the others is that these
words composed by the intellect do not produce any effect. Those
the Lord speaks are both words and works. And even though
the words may not be devotional ones but words of reproof, they
dispose the soul and prepare it from the very beginning, and
they touch it, give it light, favor it and bring it quiet. And if
the soul suffers dryness, agitation and worry, these are taken
away as though by a stroke of the hand since it seems the Lord
wants it to understand that He is powerful and that His words
are works.2
4. It seems to me the difference between the two kinds of locu-
tion is the same as that between speaking and listening, no more
nor less. For when I speak, as I said,' I compose with the in-
tellect what I am going to say; but if others speak to me, I do
no more than listen without any effort. The one kind takes place
in such a way that we cannot clearly determine whether the words
were really spoken, as when one is half asleep; in those from
God the voice is so clear that you don't lose a syllable of what
is said. And these latter happen at times when the intellect and
the soul are so agitated and distracted that the soul wouldn't suc-
ceed in putting together a good sentence — yet it finds that long
sentences all prepared are spoken to it, which even though it
were deeply recollected it wouldn't be able to compose. And in
hearing the first word, as I mentioned, the soul is changed com-
pletely. How will things be understood — especially when it is
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 25
215
enraptured, for the faculties are suspended — that didn't even
come to its mind before? How will these things come when it
hardly functions at all and the imagination remains as though
stultified?
5. It should be understood that, in my opinion, visions are
never seen nor words understood while the soul is united in the
rapture itself. For during this time — as I already explained, I
believe, when discussing the second water — 4 all the faculties
are completely lost and, in my opinion, one can neither see nor
understand nor hear. The soul is completely under the power
of another, and during this time, which is very short, it doesn't
seem to me the Lord leaves it any freedom at all. Once this short
space of time has passed, while the soul still remains in a kind
of rapture, these locutions take place. 3 The faculties are in such
a state that even though they are not lost, they do hardly
anything. They are as though absorbed and incapable of put-
ting sentences together. There are so many ways of understand-
ing the difference between the two kinds of locutions that though
a soul may be misled once, it will not be misled often.
6. And I say that if the soul is experienced and on the lookout,
it will see the difference very clearly. Besides the other things
in which the difference I mentioned is seen, the locution com-
ing from the intellect produces no effect, nor does the soul receive
any (for with those that come from God it receives the effect
whether it wills so or not) or place any trust in the words. Rather
the soul understands that the intellect is talking nonsense; it pays
no attention to it, almost as it wouldn't pay any attention to a
person it knows is in a frenzy.
In the words coming from God the experience is as though
we were listening to a very holy person or to one who is most
learned with great authority, who we know will not lie to us.
And even this comparison is a poor one. For these words at times
bear with them such majesty that even though one does not call
to mind who it is that speaks them, they make one tremble — if
they are words of reproof; and if they are words of love, they
make one dissolve in love. They concern matters, as I said,6
which are very far from one's mind. Such long sentences are
said so quickly that much time would have been necessary to
216
St. Teresa of Avila
compose them, and in no way does it seem to me that we can
then fail to know that they are something we do not fabricate
ourselves. Thus, there's no reason for me to delay on this mat-
ter; rarely it seems can an experienced person be deceived if that
person does not knowingly want to be deceived.
7. It has often happened to me that if I have some doubt, I
do not believe what is spoken to me and think that I imagined
the words (this I do afterward, for it is impossible to do so at
the time), and after a long while I see them fulfilled. For the
Lord causes them to remain in the memory so that they cannot
be forgotten. But the locutions that come from the intellect are
like the first stirrings of thought which pass and are forgotten.
Those that come from God are like a work that — even though
something of it is forgotten and time passes — it is not so com-
pletely forgotten that the memory of what in substance was said
is lost, unless a long time has passed or they are words of favor
or doctrine. But in my opinion there is no forgetting the words
of prophecy, at least this is so with me even though I have a
poor memory.
8. And I repeat that in my opinion, provided a soul is not
so impious as to want to make them up — which would be very
evil — and assert that it hears them when it doesn't, it would be
impossible for it to fail to realize that it composes and speaks
them itself and that they haven't come from the Spirit of God.
Otherwise its whole life could pass under this delusion, and it
would think it understands — although I don't know how. Either
this soul desires to understand or it doesn't. If it is getting rid
of what it understands and in no way desires to understand
anything, on account of a thousand fears and the many other
reasons there are for wanting to be quiet and without these things
during its prayer, how is it that it gives so much leeway to the
intellect to compose sentences? Time is needed for this. In the
locutions that come from God, we are taught without losing any
time; things are understood that it seems would require a month
to compose, and the intellect itself and the soul are amazed at
some of the things that are understood.
9. This is the way it is, and anyone who has experience will
see that all that I have said is literally so. I praise God because
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 25
217
I have been able to describe it in this way. And I finish by say-
ing that it seems to me that we can understand words coming
from the intellect whenever we want, and each time we go to
prayer we could think we understand them. But in the words
that are from God, this is not so; I will spend many days in which
it is impossible to understand something even though I may desire
to. And when at other times I don't want to, as I said,7 I am
made to understand. It seems to me that anyone desiring to
mislead others by telling them that something that was heard
is from God, when it is from oneself, finds little difficulty in saying
that it was heard with the bodily ears. And indeed this is truly
so. For I never thought there could be any other way of hearing
or understanding until I saw this for myself. And so, as I said,8
the experience cost me much difficulty.
10. When the words are from the devil, not only do they fail
to have good effects but they leave bad ones. This happened to
me no more than two or three times, and I was then advised
by the Lord that the words were from the devil. Besides the great
dryness that remains, there is a disquiet in the soul like that which
the Lord permitted many other times when my soul suffered
severe temptations and trials of different kinds. Although this
disquiet often torments me as I shall say further on,9 one is
unable to understand where the disquiet comes from. It seems
the soul resists; it is agitated and afflicted without knowing why
because what he says is not evil but good. I wonder if one spirit
doesn't feel the presence of the other spirit. The consolation and
delight that he gives is, in my opinion, very markedly different.
He could deceive with these consolations someone who does not
have or has not had other consolations from God.
11. I am speaking of true spiritual consolations: a gentle
refreshment — strong, deeply impressed, delightful, and quiet.
For little devotional feelings of the soul, tears and other little
sentiments which, at the first small breeze of persecution, lose
their tiny flowers, I do not call devotions, even though they may
denote a good beginning and are holy sentiments; but they are
not sufficient for the discernment of whether these effects are
from a good or bad spirit. So it is well to be ever on one's guard.
Persons who have not advanced beyond these devotional feel-
218
St. Teresa of Avila
ings can be easily deceived if they have visions or revelations.
I never experienced anything of these latter until God had given
me, solely out of His goodness, the prayer of union — except in
the case of that first time I mentioned10 when I saw Christ,
which happened many years ago. Would that it had pleased His
Majesty that I might have understood it to be a true vision as
I did afterward, for it would have done me no small amount
of good. No mildness remains in the soul when visions or revela-
tions come from the devil; it is left as though frightened and very
grieved.
12.1 hold it to be most certain that the devil will not deceive —
nor will God permit this — a soul that does not trust itself in
anything and that is fortified in the faith and understands that
it would die a thousand deaths for one item of the faith. And
with this love of the faith, which God then infuses and which
is a strong living faith, it always strives to proceed in conformi-
ty with what the Church holds, asking of this one and that, as
one who has already made a firm assent to these truths. All the
revelations it could imagine — even if it were to see the heavens
open — wouldn't move it one bit from what the Church holds.
If at times it should see itself wavering in its thought against
this firmness in the faith — I mean that if it doesn't see in itself
this great fortitude and if the devotion or vision doesn't provide
help toward this fortitude — it shouldn't consider its locution safe.
And this applies as well if it should see itself pause to say: "but
if God tells me this, it can also be true as was what He told the
saints." I don't mean that the soul believes this, but that the devil
begins to tempt it through the first urgings — for just to pause
over this thought is already very wrong. But in this case I believe
that often not even the first urgings will come if the soul is as
strong in the faith as the Lord makes the one to whom He grants
these things, for it seems to the soul that the devils would harsh-
ly criticize even a very small truth that the Church holds.
13.1 say that if the soul doesn't see within itself this great for-
titude and that if the devotion or vision doesn't help toward this,
it shouldn't consider itself safe. Although it may not immediately
feel the harm, little by little this harm could become great. For
from what I see and know through experience, a locution bears
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 25
219
the credentials of being from God if it is in conformity with Sacred
Scripture. And if it should deviate from Scripture just a little,
I would have incomparably greater assurance that it comes from
the devil than I now have that it comes from God, however, great
this latter assurance may be. Then there is no need to go look-
ing for signs or for the spirit the locution comes from. For this
sign that it comes from the devil is such a clear one that if the
whole world were to assure me that the locution comes from God
I would not believe it.
The fact is that when the locution comes from the devil it seems
that all blessings go into hiding and flee from the soul, in that
it is left displeased and agitated and without any good effect.
For even though it may seem that good desires are given, they
are not strong ones. The humility such a locution leaves is false,
disturbed, and without gentleness. It seems to me that whoever
has experience of the good spirit will understand.
14. Still, the devil can play many tricks; so there is nothing
more certain in this matter than to have greater fear and always
to seek counsel, to have a master who is a learned man, and
to hide nothing from him. In this way no harm can come —
although a lot of harm was done to me through these excessive
fears that some persons have. Especially, it once happened to
me that many in whom I had great trust — and there was reason
for this — gathered together to discuss at length a remedy for me.
Although I discussed the matter with only one of them, I spoke
with the others when this person told me to do so. They were
very fond of me and feared lest I be deceived. I also had the
greatest fear when I was not in prayer — for when I was in prayer
and the Lord was granting me some favor, He then assured me.
I believe there were five or six of them,11 all great servants of
God; and my confessor12 told me that they all came to the deci-
sion that my experience was from the devil, that I shouldn't
receive Communion so often, and that I should try to distract
myself in such a way that I would not be alone. I was extremely
fearful, as I said;15 and my heart trouble added to my fear, for
I didn't very often dare remain in a room alone during the
daytime. Since I saw that so many agreed that my experience
was from the devil and that I myself couldn't believe it was, I
220
St. Teresa of Avila
felt the greatest scrupulosity, thinking my inability to believe
came from my lack of humility. For they all lived a good life —
incomparably better than I — and they were learned men. Why
shouldn't I believe them? I forced myself insofar as I could to
believe what they said, and I thought of my wretched life and
that in line with this they must be speaking the truth.
15.1 went out of the church with this affliction and entered
an oratory. I had for many days given up receiving Commu-
nion and given up solitude, which was my whole consolation,
since I had no one with whom to speak. They were all against
me; some, it seemed, made fun of me when I spoke of the mat-
ter, as though I were inventing it; others advised my confessor
to be careful of me; others said that my experience was clearly
from the devil. My confessor alone (even though he agreed with
them in order to test me, as I came to know afterward) always
consoled me and told me that even if my experience were of
diabolical origin, the devil couldn't do me any harm if I didn't
offend God, that the locutions would go away in due time, and
that I should very earnestly beg this of God. And he, his
penitents, and many others, as well as I in my own prayer, and
as many as I knew to be servants of God begged His Majesty
to lead me by another path. This continual beseeching of the
Lord lasted I guess about two years.
16. No consolation would suffice for me when I reflected that
it was possible the devil should speak to me so often. For since
I did not set apart hours of solitude for prayer, the Lord made
me become recollected during conversation and, without my be-
ing able to avoid it, told me what He pleased; even though I
may not have wanted to I had to listen.
17.1 was alone then without any person in whom I could find
some support, unable to pray vocally or read, but terrified by
so much tribulation and fear as to whether the devil would deceive
me, completely agitated and wearied without knowing what to
do with myself. I have seen myself in this affliction some, or
many, times; but it doesn't seem to me ever to such an extreme.
I remained in this condition for four or five hours, because there
was no consolation for me either from heaven or from earth;
the Lord left me to suffer and to fear a thousand dangers.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 25
221
O my Lord, how You are the true friend; and how powerful!
When You desire You can love, and You never stop loving those
who love You! All things praise You, Lord of the world! Oh,
who will cry out for You, to tell everyone how faithful You are
to Your friends! All things fail; You, Lord of all, never fail! Lit-
tle it is, that which You allow the one who loves You to suffer!
Oh my Lord! How delicately and smoothly and delightfully You
treat them! Would that no one ever pause to love anyone but
You! It seems, Lord, You try with rigor the person who loves
You so that in extreme trial she might understand the greatest
extreme of Your love. Oh my God, who has the understanding,
the learning, and the new words with which to extol Your works
as my soul understands them? All fails me, my Lord; but if You
do not abandon me, I will not fail You. Let all learned men rise
up against me, let all created things persecute me, let the devils
torment me; do not You fail me, Lord, for I already have ex-
perience of the gain that comes from the way You rescue the
one who trusts in You alone.
18. While in this great affliction then (although at that time
I had not begun to have any vision), these words alone were
enough to take it away and bring me complete quiet: "Do not
fear, daughter; for I am, and I will not abandon you; do not
fear." It seems to me that from the way I felt many hours would
have been necessary and no one would have been able to per-
suade me to be at peace. And behold by these words alone I
was given calm together with fortitude, courage, security,
quietude, and light so that in one moment I saw my soul become
another. It seems to me I would have disputed with the entire
world that these words came from God. Oh, what a good God!
Oh, how good a Lord and how powerful! He provides not only
the counsel but also the remedy! His words are works! Oh, God
help me; and how He strengthens faith and increases love!
19. Hence it is, indeed, that I often recalled the time the Lord
commanded the winds to be quiet when the storm arose at
sea,11 and so I said: Who is this that all my faculties obey Him
thus, who gives in a moment and in the midst of such great
darkness, who softens a heart that seemed like stone, and who
gives the water of gentle tears where it seemed there would be
222
St. Teresa of Avila
dryness for a long time? Who imparts these desires? Who bestows
this courage? For it occurred to me to think: What do I fear?
What is this? I desire to serve this Lord; I aim for nothing else
but to please Him. I want no happiness, no rest, no other good
but to do His will (for I felt deeply certain in my opinion that
I could make this assertion). If this Lord is powerful, as I see
that He is and I know that He is, and if the devils are His slaves
(and there is no doubt about this because it's a matter of faith),
what evil can they do to me since I am a servant of this Lord
and King? Why shouldn't I have the fortitude to engage in com-
bat with all of hell?
I took a cross in my hand, and it seemed to me truly that God
gave me courage because in a short while I saw that I was another
person and that I wouldn't fear bodily combat with them; for
I thought that with that cross I would easily conquer all of them.
So I said: "Come now all of you, for, being a servant of the Lord,
I want to see what you can do to me."
20. There was no doubt, in my opinion, that they were afraid
of me, for I remained so calm and so unafraid of them all. All
the fears I usually felt left me — even to this day. For although
I sometimes saw them, as I shall relate afterward,15 I no longer
had hardly any fear of them; rather it seemed they were afraid
of me. I was left with a mastery over them truly given by the
Lord of all; I pay no more attention to them than to flies. I think
they're such cowards that when they observe they are esteemed
but little, their strength leaves them. These enemies don't know
how to attack head-on, save those whom they see surrender to
them, or when God permits them to do so for the greater good
of His servants whom they tempt and torment. May it please
His Majesty that we fear Him whom we ought to fear and
understand that more harm can come to us from one venial sin
than from all hell together — for this is so,
21 . How frightened these devils make us because we want to
be frightened through other attachments to honors, property,
and delights! It is then that they do lis great harm, when they
are joined with us who loving and desiring what we ought to
abhor are in contradiction with ourselves For we make them
fight against us with our own verv weapons, handing over to
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 26
223
them what we need for our own defense. This is a great pity.
But if we abhor all for God and we embrace the cross and try
truly to serve God, the devil will flee these truths like the plague.
He is a friend of lies, and is the lie itself. He will make no pact
with anyone who walks in truth. When he sees the intellect
darkened, he subtly helps to blind the eyes. For if he sees people
already blind by the fact that they place their trust in vain things
(and so vain that these worldly things become like children's
games), he concludes that they are then children, treats them
as such, and dares to fight with them not once but many times.
22. May it please the Lord that I not be one of these but that
His Majesty favor me so that I may understand by repose what
repose is, by honor what honor is, and by delight what delight
is — not the reverse; and a fig16 for all the devils, because they
shall fear me. I don't understand these fears, "The devil! The
devil!", when we can say "God! God", and make the devil trem-
ble. Yes, for we already know that he cannot stir if the Lord
doesn't permit him to. What is this? Without doubt, I fear those
who have such great fear of the devil more than I do the devil
himself, for he can't do anything to me. Whereas these others,
especially if they are confessors, cause severe disturbance; I have
undergone some years of such great trial that I am amazed now
at how I was able to suffer it. Blessed be the Lord who has so
truly helped me!
Chapter 26
Continues on the same subject. Tells and explains about things that hap-
pened to her, which both caused her to lose the fear and confirmed that
it was the good spirit speaking to her.
I CONSIDER THIS COURAGE the Lord gave me against
the devils one of the great favors He granted me. For that
a soul should be intimidated by or fearful of anything other than
offending God is a serious disadvantage. Since we have an all-
powerful King and so great a Lord that He can do all and that
He brings all under His subjection, there is nothing to fear, if
224
St. Teresa of Avila
one walks, as I said,1 in truth in the presence of His Majesty
and with a pure conscience. Hence, as I said, I would desire
all fears so as not to offend for an instant Him who in an instant
can annihilate us, because it pleases His Majesty that there be
no one against us whom He will not put to flight.
One could say that this statement is true, but ask further who
this soul is that is so upright it pleases God completely, and con-
clude that thus the soul should fear. Certainly it's not my soul,
which is very wretched, unprofitable, and filled with a thousand
miseries. But God doesn't carry out His work as people do; He
understands our weaknesses. Through extensive conjecturing
the soul feels within itself that it truly loves Him; in those who
reach this state love isn't disguised as in the beginning stages,
but it operates with such powerful impulses and desires to see
God, as I shall say afterward or have already said,2 that
everything is tiring, everything wearies, everything torments.
If it is not with God or for God, there is no rest that doesn't
weary it; so this love is something very clear and, as I say, doesn't
pass by in disguise.
2. It happened to me at other times that I was suffering great
tribulations and criticism, on account of a certain matter I shall
speak of afterward, from almost the entire city where I live and
from my order,3 and afflicted by the many occasions there were
for becoming disturbed, when the Lord said to me: "Why are you
afraid? Do you not know that I am all-powerful? I will fulfill
what I have promised." (And it was truly fulfilled later.) I was
immediately left with such fortitude that it seemed to me I would
again undertake other things, even though they would cost me
greater trials, and I would once more take suffering upon myself
in order to serve Him. This has happened so many times that
I wouldn't be able to count them. Often His words to me were
rebukes — and still are when I commit imperfections. These
rebukes are enough to dissolve a soul; at least they bear amend-
ment with them, because His Majesty, as I said,4 gives both
the counsel and the cure. At other times the locutions bring my
past sins to mind — especially when the Lord wants to grant me
some exceptional favor; it seems the soul is already before the
true Judge since they represent the truth to it with such clear
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 26
225
understanding that it doesn't know where to hide. At other times
the Lord warns me of some dangers I'm in, or of other persons,
and about things of the future — three or four years in advance
very often — all of which have been fulfulled. Some of these can
be pointed out concretely. Thus there are so many reasons for
knowing that the words come from God that in my opinion one
cannot be ignorant of this.
3. The safest thing, as the Lord told me, is to make known
to my confessor the whole state of my soul and the favors God
grants me, that he be learned, and that I obey him. The Lord
has often told me this. It is what I do, and without doing so I
would have no peace; nor would it be good for women to have
a feeling of security since we don't have any learning. Hence
there can be no harm but much to gain.
I had a confessor who mortified me very much and was some-
times an affliction and great trial to me because he disturbed
me exceedingly, and he was the one who profited me the most
as far as I can tell.5 And although I had a great love for him,
I had some temptations to leave him because it seemed to me
the affliction he caused me hindered my prayer. Every time that
I was determined to change, I then heard that I should not do
so and a rebuke that grieved me more than the confessor did.
Sometimes I grew weary: on the one hand I was questioning
and on the other hand being rebuked — all was necessary because
my will did not easily bend. The Lord told me once that it wasn't
obedience if I wasn't resolved to suffer, that I should fix my eyes
on what He suffered, and that all would by easy.
4. One time a confessor who heard my confession at the begin-
ning advised me that once the locutions were proven to be from
the good spirit I should be silent and not speak about them to
anyone, because it would then be better to remain quiet about
these things. This didn't seem wrong to me, because each time
I told the confessor about the locutions my feeling of shame was
so strong that sometimes I felt it more than when I had serious
sins to confess. It seemed to me, especially when the favors were
great, that the confessors would not believe me and would make
fun of me. I felt this so strongly that I thought telling them about
these favors would be disrespectful to the wonders of God, and
226
St. Teresa of Avila
that for this reason I should remain silent. I then understood
that the advice of that confessor was very wrong, that I should
in no way remain silent with my confessor, for there would be
great security in telling him, and that by not doing this I could
sometimes be deceived.
5. As often as the Lord commanded something of me in prayer
and my confessor told me to do otherwise, the Lord returned
and told me to obey my confessor; afterward His Majesty would
change the confessor's mind, and he would agree with the Lord's
command. When they forbade the reading of many books in
the vernacular,6 I felt that prohibition very much because
reading some of them was an enjoyment for me, and I could
no longer do so since only the Latin editions were allowed. The
Lord said to me: "Don't be sad, for I shall give you a living book."
I was unable to understand why this was said to me, since I had
not yet experienced any visions. Afterward, within only a few
days, I understood very clearly, because I received so much to
think about and such recollection in the presence of what I saw,
and the Lord showed so much love for me by teaching me in
many ways, that I had very little or almost no need for books.
His Majesty had become the true book in which I saw the truths.
Blessed be such a book that leaves what must be read and done
so impressed that you cannot forget! Who is it that sees the Lord
covered with wounds and afflicted with persecutions who will
not embrace them, love them, and desire them? Who beholds
something of the glory that He gives to those who serve Him
who doesn't know that all one can do and suffer is nothing since
we hope for such a reward? Who sees the torments suffered by
the damned who doesn't find the torments of earth to be delights
in comparison with them and doesn't know how much one owes
the Lord for having been freed so often from that place?
6. Because with God's help more will be said about some of
these things, I want to get on with the account of my life. May
it please the Lord that in what I said I knew how to explain
myself. I firmly believe that whoever has had experience will
understand and see that I succeeded in saying something;
whoever has not had experience — I wouldn't be surprised if it
all seems to be nonsense to such a one. It is enough that I have
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 27
227
said this for that person to be excused, nor would I blame anyone
who says it is nonsense. May the Lord help me to succeed in
doing His will. Amen.
Chapter 27
Treats of another way in which the Lord instructs the soul and, without
speaking to it, makes His will known in a wonderful manner. Explains
also a non-imaginative vision and great favor the Lord granted her. This
chapter is very noteworthy.
WELL, TO RETURN TO THE ACCOUNT of my life.
I was enduring this difficult affliction, and, as I have
said,1 many prayers were being offered up that the Lord might
lead me by another safer path since this one, they told me, was
so suspect. The truth of the matter is that even though I was
beseeching God and however much I wanted to desire another
path, it wasn't in my power to desire it, even though I always
prayed for it, because I saw my soul so improved — except
sometimes when I was very worn out from the things they told
me and the fears they caused. I saw that I was a completely dif-
ferent person. I could not desire another path, but I placed myself
in the hands of God that He would carry out His will complete-
ly in me; He knew what suited me. I saw that on this road I
was being led to heaven, that previously I had been going to
hell, and that I should want to follow this road and not believe
that it had the devil as cause. Nor was I able to force myself,
even though I did all I could, to believe and desire another road;
it wasn't in my power to do so. I offered up what I did, if there
was some good deed, for this intention. I invoked my favorite
saints that they might free me from the devil. I made novenas.
I recommended myself to St. Hilarion and to St. Michael the
Archangel, of whom again I became a devotee for this purpose,
and I begged many other saints that the Lord might show the
truth — I mean that they might obtain this for me from His
Majesty.
228
St. Teresa of Avila
2. After two years of all these prayers of mine and those of
others offered for the said intention (that the Lord would either
lead me by another way or make known the truth, for the locu-
tions I mentioned2 that the Lord granted me were experienced
very repeatedly), the following happened to me. Being in prayer
on the feastday of the glorious St. Peter, I saw or, to put it bet-
ter, I felt Christ beside me; I saw nothing with my bodily eyes
or with my soul, but it seemed to me that Christ was at my side —
I saw that it was He, in my opinion, who was speaking to me.
Since I was completely unaware that there could be a vision like
this one, it greatly frightened me in the beginning; I did nothing
but weep. However, by speaking one word alone to assure me,
the Lord left me feeling as I usually did: quiet, favored, and
without any fear. It seemed to me that Jesus Christ was always
present at my side; but since this wasn't an imaginative vision,5
I didn't see any form. Yet I felt very clearly that He was always
present at my right side and that He was the witness of everything
I did. At no time in which I was a little recollected, or not greatly
distracted, was I able to ignore that He was present at my side.
3. I immediately went very anxiously to my confessor to tell
him. He asked me in what form I saw Him. I answered that
I didn't see Him. He asked how I knew that it was Christ. 1
answered that I didn't know how, but that I couldn't help knowing
that He was beside me, that I saw and felt Him clearly, that
my recollection of soul was greater, and that I was very con-
tinuously in the prayer of quiet, that the effects were much dif-
ferent from those I usually experienced, and that it was very clear.
I could do nothing but draw comparisons in order to explain
myself. And, indeed, there is no comparison that fits this kind
of vision very well. Since this vision is among the most sublime
(as I was afterward told by a very holy and spiritual man, whose
name is Friar Peter of Alcantara and of whom I shall speak
later,4 and by other men of great learning) and the kind in
which the devil can interfere the least of all, there are no means
by which those of us who know little here below can explain it.
Learned men will explain it better. For if I say that I see it with
the eyes neither of the body nor of the soul, because it is not
an imaginative vision, how do I know and affirm that He is more
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 27
229
certainly at my side than if I saw Him? It is incorrect to think
that the vision is like that experience of those who are blind or
in the dark who don't see the other at their side. There is some
likeness in this comparison but not a great deal, because in such
a case these people experience with their senses: either they hear
the other person speak or stir, or they touch them. In the vision
there is nothing of this, nor do you see darkness; but the vision
is represented through knowledge given to the soul that is clearer
than sunlight. I don't mean that you see the sun or brightness,
but that a light, without your seeing light, illumines the intellect
so that the soul may enjoy such a great good. The vision bears
with it wonderful blessings.
4. This vision is not like the presence of God that is often felt,
especially by those who experience the prayer of union or quiet,
in which it seems that in desiring to begin to practice prayer
we find Him to speak to, and it seems we know that He hears
us through the effects and spiritual feelings of great love and
faith that we tenderly experience, and through other resolutions.
This presence is a great favor from God and should be highly
esteemed by the one He gives it to, for it is a very sublime prayer,
but it is not a vision; in this prayer of union or quiet one
understands that God is present by the effects that, as I say, He
grants to the soul — that is the way His Majesty wants to give
the experience of Himself. In this vision it is seen clearly that
Jesus Christ, son of the Virgin, is present. In the prayer of union
or quiet some impressions of the Divinity are bestowed; in this
vision, along with the impressions, you see that also the most
sacred humanity accompanies us and desires to grant us favors.
5. Then the confessor asked me, "Who said it was Jesus
Christ?" "He told me many times," I answered. But before He
told me He impressed upon my intellect that it was He, and
before doing this latter He told me He was present — but I didn't
see Him. If a person whom I had never seen but only heard
of should come to speak to me while I was blind or in the pitch
dark and tell me who he was, I would believe it; but I wouldn't
be able to assert as strongly that it was that person as I would
if I saw him. In the case of this vision, I would; for, without
being seen, it is impressed with such clear knowledge that I don't
230
St. Teresa of Avila
think it can be doubted. The Lord desires to be so engraved upon
the intellect that this vision can no more be doubted than can
what is seen; and even less, because when we see we sometimes
suspect we may have fancied what we saw. In this vision, even
though a suspicion may at first arise, there remains on the other
hand such great certitude that the doubt has no force.
6. Hence, there is also another way in which God teaches the
soul and speaks to it, different from the manner of speaking
described previously.5 It is a language that belongs so to
heaven that here on earth it is poorly understood, no matter how
much we may desire to tell about it, if the Lord does not teach
us through experience. The Lord puts what He wants the soul
to know very deeply within it, and there He makes this known
without image or explicit words, but in the manner of this vision
we mentioned.6 And this manner in which God gives the soul
understanding of His desires and great truths and mysteries is
worthy of close attention. Often this is the way I understand when
His Majesty explains some vision He wishes to represent to me.
It seems to me that for the following reasons7 the devil can in-
terfere least in this experience. If these reasons aren't good ones,
I must be wrong.
7. This kind of vision and language is something so spiritual
that there is no restlessness in the faculties or in the senses, in
my opinion, by which the devil can deduce anything.
Sometimes— briefly — this suspension takes place; but at other
times it seems to me that the faculties are not suspended, nor
are the senses withdrawn but very much present. This vision
and locution doesn't always come during contemplation; it very
seldom does. Yet, when it comes, I say that we neither act nor
do anything; all seems to be the work of the Lord. It's as though
the food were already placed in the stomach without our eating
it or knowing how it got there. It is clearly known to be there,
although the stomach doesn't know what food it is or who put
it there. But in the case of these locutions, the intellect does know,
yet it doesn't know how the locution got there; nothing is seen
or understood, nor was the soul ever moved to desire it — nor
had I ever been informed that this was possible.
8. In the locution we spoke of previously,8 God makes the
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 27
intellect become aware — even though it may not wish to do so —
and understand what is said; in that experience the soul seemingly
has other ears with which it hears, and God makes it listen, and
it is not distracted. It's like this: if people have good hearing and
don't block their ears and are spoken to in a loud voice, they
hear, even though they may not want to; and, in fact, they do
something, since they are attentive in order to understand what
is spoken to them.
In the locution we are now speaking of, there is none of the
above; even this little thing of only listening, which the soul did
in the previous locution, is taken away. It finds everything
prepared and eaten. There is nothing more to do than to enjoy,
as in the example of someone who without having learned or
done any work to know how to read, and without having studied
anything, would find that all knowledge was possessed inwardly,
without knowing how or where it was gotten since no studying
had been done, nor even had the abc's been learned.
9. This last comparison seems to me to explain something
about this heavenly gift, for the soul sees that in an instant it
is wise; the mystery of the Blessed Trinity and other sublime
things are so explained that there is no theologian with whom
it would not dispute in favor of the truth of these grandeurs.
It is left full of amazement; one of these favors is enough to change
a soul completely, free it from the love of things, and make it
love Him who it sees makes it capable, without any effort of its
own, of blessings so great, who communicates secrets to it and
treats it with such friendship and love that one cannot describe
this in writing. He grants some favors that would be suspect,
since they are so admirable and granted to someone who has
so little merited them. Those who don't have a very living faith
will be unable to believe in them. So I am thinking of speaking
but little of the favors the Lord granted me — unless I'm ordered
to do otherwise — except for certain visions that can do some good
for others; or so that the one to whom the Lord may grant them
doesn't become frightened, as I did, in thinking the experience
is impossible; or that I might explain the manner and path by
which the Lord led me, which is what they commanded me to
write about. I
232
St. Teresa of Avila
10. Returning then to the discussion of this kind of under-
standing, it seems to me that the Lord in every way wants this
soul to have some knowledge of what goes on in heaven. I think
that just as in heaven you understand without speaking (which
I certainly never knew until the Lord in His goodness desired
that I should see and showed Himself to me in a rapture), so
it is in this vision. For God and the soul understand each other
only through the desire His Majesty has that it understand Him,
without the use of any other means devised to manifest the love
these two friends have for each other. It's like the experience
of two persons here on earth who love each other deeply and
understand each other well; even without signs, just by a glance,
it seems, they understand each other. This must be similar to
what happens in the vision; without our knowing how, these two
lovers gaze directly at each other, as the Bridegroom says to the
Bride in the Song of Songs — q I think I heard that it is there.
1 1 . O admirable kindness of God, You allow me to gaze upon
You with eyes that have so badly gazed as have those of my soul.
May they, Lord, become accustomed through this vision not
to look at base things, so that nothing outside of You might satisfy
them! O ingratitude of mortals! To what extremes will you go?
For I know through experience that what I say is true and that
what can be said is the least of what You do, Lord, for a soul
You bring to such frontiers. O souls that have begun to prac-
tice prayer and have true faith, what good things can you still
seek in this life — leaving aside what is gained for eternity — that
could compare with the least of these favors?
12. Reflect that it is indeed certain that God gives Himself
in this way to those who give up all for Him. He shows no par-
tiality,10 He loves everyone. Nobody has any excuse, no mat-
ter how miserable they may be, since the Lord so acts with me
in bringing me to such a state. Note that what I say is not even
a compendium of what could be said. I only say what is necessary
to explain this kind of vision and favor the Lord grants the soul.
But I can't describe what is felt when the Lord gives it an
understanding of His secrets and grandeurs, the delight that so
surpasses all those knowable here on earth; indeed, it rightly
makes you abhor the delights of this life, which together are all
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 27
233
rubbish. I would find it revolting to have to try to make a com-
parison between the two delights, even if those of earth were
to last forever and those given by the Lord were only a drop
of water from the vast overflowing river that is prepared for us.
13. It is a shame, and I certainly am ashamed of myself; if
one were able to be embarrassed in heaven, I would be more
embarrassed there than anyone! Why must we want so many
blessings and delights and so much endless glory all at the cost
of the good Jesus? Shall we not at least weep with the daughters
of Jerusalem since we do not, with the Cyrenian,11 help Him
carry His cross? How can we enjoy along with pleasures and
pastimes what He won for us at the cost of so much blood? It's
impossible! And do we think that with vain honors we can imitate
Him in the contempt He suffered so that we might reign forever?
Such a road leads nowhere; it's the wrong, wrong road; we will
never arrive by it.
Your Reverance ought to cry out these truths since God has
taken from me freedom to do so. I should like them to be pro-
claimed to me always; yet I've been so slow myself to hear and
understand God, as will be seen in what is written here, that
it is very embarrassing to speak about this; as a result I desire
to be silent. I shall only say what sometimes comes to mind.
May it please the Lord to bring me to the goal that I might enjoy
this blessing.
14. What accidental glory and what happiness will be the lot
of the blessed when they see that, even though late, nothing
possible remained for them to do for God and that in conformity
with their strength and state they left nothing undone for Him,
and in having more, gave more! How rich they will find that
they are, they who have left all riches for Christ! How honored
will they be, they who have not sought honor from Him but have
enjoyed seeing themselves humbled! How wise will they be, they
who rejoiced to be considered mad because that is what Wisdom
Himself was called! How few madmen there are now — on ac-
count of our sins! Truly it seems that now there are no more
of those whom people considered mad for doing the heroic deeds
of true lovers of Christ. O world, world, how you go on gaining
in honor by having few who know you!
234
St. Teresa of Avila
15. But do we think that God is now served more if we are
considered wise and discreet! That really must be the reason so
much discretion is used. We are quick to believe that not much
edification is given if each one doesn't proceed, according to one's
state, with composure and authority. Even a friar, cleric, or nun
would think that to wear something old and patched would be
a kind of novelty and would give scandal to the weak; and that
even recollection and the practice of prayer would do this. The
world has such a mentality and has so forgotten the great perfec-
tion and lofty impulses of love the saints experienced that I think
this mentality causes more harm and misfortune in these troubled
times we live in than the scandals caused by religious when they
back up with deeds what they say with words about how little
the world should be esteemed; from such scandals the Lord draws
forth great blessings. If some are scandalized, others come to
their senses. At least there would be offered an image of what
Christ and His Apostles suffered since now more than ever such
an image is needed.
16. And what a good image of Christ God took from us now
in the blessed Friar Peter of Alcantara! The world cannot at this
time endure so much perfection. They say that our health is
weaker and that these times are not like those of the past. Yet
this holy man belonged to the present age. His spirit is large,
as in times past; so he trampled the world under foot. Although
others may not be detached or perform such harsh penance as
he, there are many ways, as I've said at other times,12 of
trampling on the world; the Lord teaches them when He sees
the courage. And what marvelous courage His Majesty gave this
great saint of whom I'm speaking in order that he perform such
rough penance, as everyone knows, for forty-seven years! I want
to say something about this penance, for I know the facts are
all true.
17. He told me of it, and also another person13 from whom
he hid nothing. (The reason he told me was his love for me,
for the Lord desired this so that he would return and encourage
me at a time of great need, as I said and will say.)14 I think he
told me that for forty years he slept only an hour and a half dur-
ing the night and that in the beginning this was his greatest
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 27
235
penitential trial, to conquer sleep, and that to do this he was
always either on his knees or standing. When he did sleep, he
did so sitting up, with his head resting on a little log nailed to
the wall. He could not have stretched out even if he wanted to,
because his cell — as is known — was no larger than four and a
half feet. However hot or rainy the weather was in all those years,
he never put up his cowl; he wore nothing on his feet, nor did
he wear any clothes other than a coarse serge habit with nothing
else to cover the body — that was as tight as could be, and a short
mantle over it made of the same material. He told me that when
it was terribly cold he took the mantle off and left the door and
little window of his cell opened so that afterward by putting the
mantle on again and closing the door he was able to appease
the body by the warmth that came from more covering. Eating
every third day was a very common practice for him, and he
told me when I showed surprise that it was easily possible for
anyone who got used to doing so. One of his companions told
me that once Friar Peter went eight days without eating. It must
have happened while he was in prayer, for he experienced great
raptures and impulses of love of God, of which I was once a
witness.
18. His practice of poverty and mortification during his youth
was extreme. He told me that he had lived in a house of his order
for three years and, because he had never raised his eyes, had
not known any of the friars save by their voice, and that he hadn't
known how to get to the places where he had to go, but followed
the oth^r friars. This he did on his journeys. He never looked
at women for many years. He told me that it no longer made
any difference whether he saw or did not see. But he was very
old when I came to know him,11 and so extremely weak that it
seemed he was made of nothing but tree roots.
Yet with all this sanctity he was very affable, although his
words were few unless he was questioned. He was very plea-
sant in his speech because he had a bright mind. There are many
other things I should like to say, but I am afraid your Reverence
will ask why I'm getting into all this — and I've written it with
this fear. Hence, I will conclude by saying that his ending was
like his life, preaching to his friars and admonishing them. When
236
St. Teresa of Avila
he saw that he was dying, he recited the psalm, Laetatus sum in
his quae dicta sunt mihi,16 and casting himself on his knees, he
died.
19. Afterward the Lord was pleased that I receive more help
from him — through the counsel he gave me about many
matters — than I did during his life. I have often seen him in the
greatest glory. He told me the first time he appeared to me that
the penance that merited such a reward was a blessed penance,
and many other things. One year before he died, though being
some leagues away from here, he appeared to me; since I knew
he was going to die, I told him so. When he died, he appeared
to me and told me that he was going to his rest. I didn't believe
it, but did tell some persons; after eight days the news came that
he was dead, or, better, that he had begun to live forever.
20. Behold how this harsh life ended with such great glory.
I think he consoles me much more than when he was here on
earth. The Lord once told me that nothing would be sought in
Friar Peter's name that He would not bestow. Many of the things
I've recommended to his prayers I've seen fulfilled. May the Lord
be blessed forever, amen.
21. But what a discourse I've got into! May it awaken your
Reverence so that you will not esteem anything pertaining to
this life — as though you didn't know and weren't already deter-
mined to abandon all, and hadn't already put this renunciation
into practice!
I see so much perdition in the world that even though my
writing about it brings me no more benefit than to tire me out,
I find rest in doing so; for everything I have written is against
myself. May the Lord pardon me for my offenses against Him
in this matter, and may your Reverence do so too, for I tire you
unintentionally. It appears that I want you to do penance for
my sins in this matter.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 28
237
Chapter 28
Deals with the great favors the Lord granted her and how He appeared
to her the first time. Explains what an imaginative vision is. Tells about
the remarkable effects and signs this vision leaves behind when it is from
God. This is a very instructive chapter and well worth noting.
TO RETURN TO OUR TOPIC,1 I passed some days -a
few — in which I experienced this vision continually; it did
me so much good that I never left prayer. No matter how much
I did, I strove that it be done in such a way that it would not
displease the One who I clearly saw was witnessing it. And
although sometimes I was afraid on account of all the warnings
they were giving, this fear didn't last long, because the Lord was
giving me assurance.
One day, while I was in prayer, the Lord desired to show me
only His hands which were so very beautiful that I would be
unable to exaggerate the beauty. This vision caused me great
fear; any supernatural favor the Lord grants me frightens me
at first, when it is new. After a few days I saw also that divine
face which it seems left me completely absorbed. Since after-
ward He granted me the favor of seeing Him entirely, I couldn't
understand why the Lord showed Himself to me in this way,
little by little, until later I understood that His Majesty was
leading me in accordance with my natural weakness. May He
be blessed forever! So much glory would have been unbearable
next to so lowly and wretched a subject as I; and as one who
knew this, the merciful Lord was preparing me.
2. It will seem to your Reverence that strength like this wasn't
necessary to see some hands and so beautiful a face. Glorified
bodies have such beauty that the sight of so supernatural a beauty
deriving from glory causes confusion. Thus the vision caused
me a fear so great that I was completely agitated and disturbed,
although afterward I remained so certain and secure and felt
such other effects that I immediately lost the fear.
3. One feastday of St. Paul, while I was at Mass, this most
sacred humanity in its risen form was represented to me com-
pletely, as it is in paintings, with such wonderful beauty and
238
St. Teresa of Avila
majesty; I have written about it in particular to your Reverence
when you insistently ordered me to do so. And writing about
it was very difficult for me to do because one cannot describe
this vision without ruining it. But as best I could I have already
told you about it,2 and so there is no reason to speak of it here
again. I only say that if there were nothing else to provide delight
for one's vision in heaven than the exalted beauty of glorified
bodies, this vision would be very great glory, especially the vi-
sion of the humanity of Jesus Christ, our Lord. And if even here
on earth His Majesty shows Himself according to what our
wretchedness can bear, what will be the glory when such a bless-
ing is enjoyed completely?
4. I never saw this vision — nor any other — with my bodily
eyes, even though it is an imaginative one.
Those who know more about these matters than I say that
the intellectual vision is more perfect than this one and that this
one is much more perfect than visions seen with the bodily eyes.
These latter, corporeal visions, they say, are the lowest and the
kind in which the devil can cause more illusions; although at
that time I couldn't understand this. But since an imaginative
vision was being granted to me, I desired that I might see it with
my bodily eyes so that my confessor wouldn't tell me that I had
imagined it. And after the vision passed away, it also happened
to me — and this was at once — that I thought that I had imag-
ined it; thinking I had deceived my confessor, I was bothered
about having told it to him. This was another cause for tears,
and I went and explained to him. He asked me whether it just
seemed to me that I had deceived him or whether I had desired
to deceive him. I told him the truth, for, in rny opinion, I had
not lied, nor had I intended to; nor for anything in the world
would I say one thing for another. He well knew this, and so
he tried to calm me. I felt so sorry for having gone to him with
these things, for I don't know how the devil got me to torment
myself with the thought that I had made up the vision.
But so quickly did the Lord grant me this favor and declare
this truth that very soon the doubt about my imagining it left
me, and afterward I saw clearly my foolishness. If I should have
spent many years trying to imagine how to depict something
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 28
239
so beautiful, I couldn't have, nor would I have known how to;
it surpasses everything imaginable here on earth, even in just
its whiteness and splendor.
5. The splendor is not one that dazzles; it has a soft whiteness,
is infused, gives the most intense delight to the sight, and doesn't
tire it; neither does the brilliance, in which is seen the vision
of so divine a beauty, tire it. It is a light so different from earth-
ly light that the sun's brightness that we see appears very tar-
nished in comparison with that brightness and light represented
to the sight, and so different that afterward you wouldn't want
to open your eyes. It's like the difference between a sparkling,
clear water that flows over crystal and on which the sun is re-
flecting and a very cloudy, muddy water flowing along the
ground. This doesn't mean that the sun is represented or that
the light resembles sunlight. It seems in fact like natural light,
and the sunlight seems artificial. It is a light that has no night;
nothing troubles it. In sum, it is of such a kind that a person
couldn't imagine what it is like in all of life's days no matter how
powerful the intellect. God gives it so suddenly that there wouldn't
even be time to open your eyes, if it were necessary to open them.
For when the Lord desires to give the vision, it makes no more
difference if they are opened than if they are closed; even if we
do not desire to see the vision, it is seen. No distraction is enough
to resist it, nor is there power or diligence or care enough to
do so. I have clearly experienced this, as I shall say.^
6. What I should now like to speak of is the way in which
the Lord reveals Himself by means of these visions. I dont mean
that I shall explain how such a strong light can be put in the
interior faculty and so clear an image put in the intellect — for
it seems truly that that's where it is — because this is something
for men of learning to explain. The Lord has not given me
understanding of how this is done, and I am so ignorant and
my intellect so dull that to no matter what extent these men of
learning have desired to explain to me how this vision comes
about, I have still not been able to understand. It is certain that
even though it seems to your Reverence that I have a lively in-
tellect, I do not. In many things I've experienced that I don't
know any more than what is given me to eat, as the saying goes.
240
St. Teresa of Avila
Sometimes my confessors have been amazed at my ignorance.
And I have never understood, nor have I desired to understand,
how God causes this vision or how it could come about, nor did
I ask, even though, as I have said,4 for many years now I've
had contact with competent men of learning. Whether something
was a sin or not — yes, this I did discuss with them. As for the
rest, it wasn't necessary for me to think anything but that God
did it all. I saw there was no reason for me to be startled but
to praise Him. Indeed the difficult things He does cause more
devotion in me; and the more difficult, the more devotion they
cause.
7. I shall then say what I have come to see through experience.
How the Lord does it, your Reverence will speak of better than
I, and will explain what remains obscure and what I may not
have known how to say. It seemed clear to me in some cases
that what I saw was an image, but in many other instances, no;
rather, it was Christ Himself by reason of the clarity with which
He was pleased to reveal Himself to me. Sometimes the vision
was so obscure that it seemed to me an image, not like an earth-
ly drawing no matter how perfect it may be — for I have seen
many good ones. It is foolish to think that an earthly drawing
can look anything like a vision; it does so no more nor less than
living persons resemble their portraits. No matter how good the
portrait may have turned out, it can't look so natural that in
the end it isn't recognized as a dead thing. But let us leave this
example aside; it applies well here and is very exact.
8. I don't say this example is a comparison — for comparisons
are never so exact — but the truth. The difference lies in that
which there is between living persons and paintings of them —
no more nor less. For if what is seen is an image, it is a living
image — not a dead man, but the living Christ. And He makes
it known that He is both man and God, not as He was in the
tomb but as He was when He came out of the tomb after His
resurrection. Sometimes He comes with such great majesty that
no one could doubt but that it is the Lord Himself. Especially
after receiving Communion — for we know that He is present,
since our faith tells us this — He reveals Himself as so much the
lord of this dwelling that it seems the soul is completely dissolved;
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 28
241
and it sees itself consumed in Christ. O my Jesus! Who could
make known the majesty with which You reveal Yourself! And,
Lord of all the world and of the heavens, of a thousand other
worlds and of numberless worlds, and of the heavens that You
might create, how the soul understands by the majesty with which
You reveal Yourself that it is nothing for You to be Lord of the
world!
9. In this vision the powerlessness of all the devils in com-
parison with Your power is clearly seen, my Jesus; and it is seen
how whoever is pleasing to You can trample all hell under foot.
In this vision the reason is seen why the devils feared when You
descended into limbo and why they would have preferred to be
in another thousand lower hells in order to flee from such great
majesty. I see that You want the soul to know how tremendous
this majesty is and the power that this most sacred humanity
joined with the Divinity has. In this vision there is a clear
representation of what it will be like on Judgment Day to see
the majesty of this King and to see its severity toward those who
are evil. This vision is the source of the true humility left in the
soul when it sees its misery, which it cannot ignore. This vision
is the source of confusion and true repentance for sins; although
the soul sees that He shows love, it doesn't know where to hide,
and so it is completely consumed.
I say that this vision has such tremendous power when the
Lord desires to show the soul a great part of His grandeur and
majesty that it would be impossible for any subject to endure
it — unless the Lord should want to help it very supernaturally
by placing it in rapture and ecstasy since in the enjoyment of
that divine presence the vision of it is lost.
Is it true that it is forgotten afterward? That majesty and beau-
ty remain so impressed that they are unforgettable, except when
the Lord wishes the soul to suffer a great dryness and solitude
of which I shall speak further on;5 for then it seems it even
forgets God. The soul undergoes a change; it is always absorbed;
it seems that a new, living, high degree of love is beginning.
For although the intellectual vision, of which I spoke,6 that
represents God in an imageless way is more perfect, a wonder-
ful thing happens when so divine a presence is represented in
242
St. Teresa of Avila
the imagination so that in conformity with our weakness this
presence can last in the memory and keep the thought well oc-
cupied. These two kinds of vision almost always come together.
This is the way they occur: with the eyes of the soul we see the
excellence, beauty, and glory of the most holy humanity; and
through the intellectual vision, which was mentioned, we are
given an understanding of how God is powerful, that He can
do all things, that He commands all and governs all, and that
His love permeates all things.
10. This vision is very worthy of esteem and, in my opinion,
there is no danger in it, because by its effects it is known that
the devil has no power here. It seems to me he has wanted to
represent the Lord Himself in this way three or four times by
a false representation. He takes the form of flesh, but he can't
counterfeit the image by giving it the glory that it has when it
comes from God. He makes representations so as to destroy the
true vision the soul has seen; but the soul of itself resists and
is agitated, displeased, and disturbed since it loses the devotion
and delight it had before and remains without any prayer. In
the beginning this happened, as I said,7 three or four times. It
is something so very different that even if one has experienced
only the prayer of quiet, I believe that one will understand by
the effects which were mentioned in speaking of locutions.8
This false representation is something very obvious; if the soul
does not want to be deceived, and it walks in humility and
simplicity, I don't think it will be deceived. Anyone who has had
a true vision from God can tell the false almost immediately,
for, although this false vision begins with pleasure and delight,
the soul hurls it from itself; and even the delight, I think, must
be different — it doesn't have the appearance of pure and chaste
love. The devil very quickly shows who he is. So where there
is experience, the devil, in my opinion, can do no harm.
1 1 . That this vision from God could be the work of the im-
agination is the most impossible of impossible things; it is utter
nonsense to think so, for the beauty and the whiteness of one
hand alone is completely beyond our imagination. It's impossi-
ble to see in a moment, without thinking or ever having thought
about them, things represented that in a long time could not
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 28
243
have been put together by the imagination, because they go far
beyond, as I said,9 what we can comprehend here on earth.
And if we could imagine something of the vision, the difference
could still be seen clearly by this other factor that I shall now
mention. For if the vision were represented by means of the in-
tellect, apart from the fact that it wouldn't produce any of the
great effects that a true one produces, the soul would be left ex-
hausted. Doing this would be like wanting to make oneself go
to sleep and yet remaining awake because the sleep doesn't come.
When people need sleep or feel a weakness in the head and desire
sleep, they do what they can and at times it seems they are achiev-
ing something. But if it isn't true sleep that comes to them, they
will not be sustained nor will they experience in their head a
renewed feeling of strength; rather, they will feel more exhausted.
Something similar would happen here; for if the intellect were
to produce the vision, the soul would be left exhausted — not sus-
tained and strong, but tired and displeased. One cannot exag-
gerate the richness that the true vision leaves; it even gives health
to the body and leaves it comforted.
12. I gave this reason along with others when they told me
that the devil was the cause or that I had fancied the vision —
and this was often — and I made comparisons as I could, and
the Lord gave me understanding. But all of this proved to be
of little avail. Since there were very holy persons in this place —
and compared to them I was a wretched person — and God was
not leading them by this path, they immediately became fear-
ful. For it seems that because of my sins, my secrets and con-
fidences, which they came to know of, were spread around,
although I spoke to no one about them except to my confessor
or anyone he told me to tell.
13.1 told them once that if they were to tell me that a person
whom I knew very well and with whom I had just finished speak-
ing were not that person, but that I had imagined it, I would
without doubt, as they knew, believe what they said rather than
what I had seen. But if this person were to leave me some jewels,
and they were left in my hands as tokens of great love, I would
not believe what they said, even though I desired, because I
hadn't had any jewels before and was poor, whereas now I found
244
St. Teresa of Avila
that I was rich. I was able to show them these jewels because
all who knew me saw clearly that my soul was changed, and my
confessor told me so. The difference in all things was very great;
it was not feigned, but all could see it very clearly. I said that
since I was previously so wretched I couldn't believe that if the
devil did this to deceive me and bring me to hell he would have
taken a means as contrary as was that of removing vices and
bestowing virtues and fortitude. For I saw clearly that by these
experiences I was at once changed.
14. Insofar as I know, my confessor, as I say — who was a truly
holy Father from the Society of Jesus — 10 gave this same reply.
He was very discreet and deeply humble; and this humility that
was so great brought upon me many trials. For since he was
a learned and very prayerful man, and the Lord didn't lead him
by this path, he didn't trust in himself. He suffered many great
trials in many ways on my account. I knew that they told him
to be careful of me, that he shouldn't let the devil deceive him
by anything I told him; they brought up examples to him of other
persons. All of this made me anxious. I feared that I would have
no one who would hear my confession, but that all would run
from me. I did nothing but weep.
15. By God's providence he wanted to continue to hear my
confession, for he was such a great servant of God that he would
have put up with anything for God; so he advised me that I
shouldn't turn aside from what he told me or fear that he would
fail me, and that I shouldn't offend God. He always encouraged
and comforted me. He always ordered me not to hold anything
from him. I never did. He told me that if I followed this advice
the devil wouldn't be able to harm me even if the vision did come
from him, but that rather the Lord would draw good out of the
evil the devil desired to do my soul. This Father strove for my
soul's perfection in every way he could. Since I had so much
fear, I obeyed him in everything, although imperfectly; for on
account of these trials he suffered a great deal during the three
years or more that he was my confessor.11 In the great persecu-
tions I suffered and in the many bad judgments the Lord al-
lowed others to make of me — and often without their being at
fault — everyone came to him, and he was blamed without any
The Book oj Her Life — Chap. 28
245
fault on his part.
16. It would have been impossible for him to suffer so much
if he hadn't been so holy and the Lord hadn't encouraged him.
He had to respond to those who thought I was going astray; and
they didn't believe him. On the other hand he had to calm me
and heal the fear I had by putting greater stress on the fear of
offending God. He also had to assure me; for since in each vision
there was something new, God permitted that I afterward be
left with great fears. Everything happened to me because I was
and had been such a sinner. This Father comforted me with great
pity. If he would have trusted in himself more, I wouldn't have
suffered so much; God gave him understanding of the truth in
all things — the very Sacrament itself enlightened him, I believe.
17. Those servants of God who were not so sure about me
conversed with me often.12 Since I spoke carelessly about some
things, they interpreted my intention differently and thought that
what I said, without my being careful, as I say, showed little
humility. (I loved one of them very much because my soul owed
him an infinite debt and he was very holy; I felt it infinitely when
I saw that he didn't understand me; he strongly desired that I
might advance and that the Lord might give me light.) Upon
seeing some little fault in me — for they saw many — everything
else was immediately condemned. They asked me some things;
I answered plainly and carelessly. At once they supposed that
I wanted to teach them and that I thought I was wise. It would
all get back to my confessor, for certainly they desired my good;
and he would again scold me.
18. This lasted for a long time, in which I was afflicted on
all sides, although I was able to bear those trials by means of
the favors the Lord was granting me. I say this so that it might
be known what a great trial it is not to have someone who has
experience of this spiritual path; if the Lord hadn't favored me
so much, I don't know what would have happened to me. There
were enough things to drive me insane, and sometimes I found
myself in such straits that I didn't know what to do other than
raise my eyes to the Lord. For the opposition of good men to
a little woman, wretched, weak, and fearful like myself, seems
to be nothing when described in so few words; yet among the
246
St. Teresa of Avila
very severe trials I suffered in my life, this was one of the most
severe. Please the Lord that I may have served His Majesty
somewhat through this trial. For I am very certain that those
who accused and condemned me were serving Him, and that
it was all for my greater good.
Chapter 29
Continues the topic begun and tells of some great favors the Lord granted
her and of some things His Majesty told her for her own assurance and
so that she could answer those who contradicted her.
I'VE WANDERED FAR from my topic because I was about
to speak of the signs for discerning that the vision is not pro-
duced by the imagination.1 How could we represent in detail
the humanity of Christ and imagine His great beauty? No little
time would be required if the image were to look somewhat like
Him. You could indeed represent Him in your imagination and
gaze upon Him for some time, and upon His form and whiteness,
and gradually perfect that image and commit it to memory. Who
could take away such an image, since the intellect was able to
fashion it? In the vision we are dealing with there is no possibility
of fashioning it ourselves, but we must look at what the Lord
desires to show us, when He desires, and as He desires. There
is no taking it away or inducing it, nor., however much we try,
is there any way of doing either; nor when we desire is there
a way to see it or to stop seeing it. If we want to look at some
particular thing, the vision of Christ ceases.
2. For two and a half years God frequently granted me this
favor. It must be for over three years now that He has continually
replaced this favor with another more sublime — as I shall perhaps
afterward explain.2 And in being aware that He was speaking
to me and that I was beholding that great beauty and the
gentleness with which He spoke those words with His most
beautiful and divine mouth — and at other times beholding His
severity — and strongly desiring to know the color of His eyes,
or how tall He was, so that I could be able to describe these
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 29
things, I never merited to see them. Nor was I able to obtain
this knowledge; rather, by trying to do so, I would lose the vision
entirely. Indeed I sometimes see Him looking at me with pity,
but this kind of vision is so powerful that the soul cannot suffer
it, and it remains in such a sublime rapture that in order to enjoy
the beautiful vision more completely it loses it. Hence with respect
to this vision there is nothing to desire or not to desire. It is clearly
seen that the Lord desires nothing else than humility and con-
fusion, and that we accept what is given and praise the one who
gives it.
3. This is the case in all visions without exception; our effort
can neither do nor undo anything when it comes to seeing more
or seeing less. So that we may be made less capable of pride,
the Lord desires us to be very clearly aware that this is not our
work but His Majesty's work. Rather, it makes us humble and
fearful when we observe that since the Lord takes away our power
of seeing what we desire to see, He can take from us these favors
and gifts — and we shall be left with nothing. We should always
walk in fear as long as we live in this exile.
4. The Lord almost always showed Himself to me as risen,
also when He appeared in the Host — except at times when He
showed me His wounds in order to encourage me when I was
suffering tribulation. Sometimes He appeared on the cross or
in the garden, and a few times with the crown of thorns;
sometimes He also appeared carrying the cross on account, as
I say, of my needs and those of others. But His body was always
glorified.
I suffered numerous affronts and trials in speaking about these
visions, and very many persecutions. It seemed so certain to them
that I had a devil that some persons wanted to exorcise me. This
didn't matter much to me; but I grieved when I saw that my
confessors were afraid to hear my confession or when I learned
that others said something to them. Nonetheless, I was never
able to regret having seen these heavenly visions, and I would
not exchange even one for all the goods and delights of the world.
I have always considered a vision a great favor from the Lord.
It seems to me to be a most rich treasure, and the Lord Himself
assured me of this many times. I saw that I was increasing very
248
St. Teresa of Avila
much in His love. I went to Him to complain about all these
trials, and I always came away from prayer consoled and with
new strength. I didn't dare contradict those who were judging
my spirit, because I saw that everything would then become
worse since my doing so would appear to them as a lack of humili-
ty. I talked with my confessor; he always consoled me greatly
when he saw that I was troubled.
5. Since the visions were increasing, one from the group who
previously helped me- ' for he sometimes heard my confession
when the ordinary confessor wasn't able to do so — began to say
that it was clearly the devil. He ordered that, since I didn't have
the means to resist the visions, I should always bless myself when
I saw one and make the gesture of scorn called the fig; he was
certain the devil was the cause and that by my doing this the
vision wouldn't return. He told me that I shouldn't be afraid,
that God would protect me and take it away from me. Follow-
ing this advice was very painful to me. Since I couldn't believe
but that the vision was from God, it was a terrible thing for me
to have to do what I was commanded; and neither could I desire,
as I said,4 that the vision be taken away. But, finally, I did all
they ordered me to do. I begged God persistently and with many
tears that He would free me from deception. And I begged St.
Peter and St. Paul; for since the first time the Lord appeared
to me was on their feastday,5 He told me that they would pro-
tect me from being deceived. Thus I often saw them very clear-
ly at my left, although not by an imaginative vision. These
glorious saints were very much lords of mine.
6. Making the fig at this vision of the Lord caused me the
greatest pain. When I saw Him present, I couldn't have believed
it was the devil if they broke me in pieces; thus it was a kind
of severe penance for me. So that I would not be forever bless-
ing myself, I held a cross in my hand. I did this almost all the
time; I didn't make the fig so continually, because it grieved me
deeply to do so. I recalled the injuries the Jews caused Him and
begged Him to pardon me since I was doing it in order to obey
the one who stood in His place, and not to blame me, since they
were the ministers that He had placed in His Church. He told
me not to worry and that I did well in obeying, but that He would
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 29
249
make the truth known. When they forbade me to practice prayer,
it seemed to me He was annoyed. He told me to tell them that
now what they were doing was tyranny. He gave me signs for
knowing that the vision was not from the devil. I shall mention
some afterward.6
7. Once while I was holding the cross in my hand, for I had
it on a rosary, He took it from me with His own hands; when
He gave it back to me, it was made of four large stones incom-
parably more precious than diamonds — there is no appropriate
comparison for supernatural things. A diamond seems to be
something counterfeit and imperfect when compared with the
precious stones that are seen there. The representation of the
five wounds was of very delicate workmanship. He told me that
from then on I would see the cross in that way; and so it hap-
pened, for I didn't see the wood from which it was made but
these stones. No one, however, saw this except me.
When I began to try to obey the command to reject and resist
these favors, there was a much greater increase in them. In seek-
ing to distract myself, I never got free from prayer. It even
seemed to me that I was in prayer while sleeping. There was
an increase of love and of the loving complaints I was address-
ing to the Lord; the pain became unbearable, nor was it in my
power to stop thinking of Him no matter how much I tried and
even though I wanted to. Nonetheless, I obeyed when I could;
but in this matter I was able to do little or nothing at all, and
the Lord never took prayer from me. But even though He told
me to do what they said, He assured me on the other hand and
taught me what I should say to them — and so He does now. He
gave me so many adequate reasons that these reasons made me
feel completely secure.
8. After a short time His Majesty began as He had promised
me7 to give further indication that it was He by increasing the
love of God in me to such a degree that I didn't know where
it came from (for it was very supernatural); nor did I procure
it. I saw that I was dying with desire to see God, and I didn't
know where to seek this life except in death. Some great impulses
of this love came upon me in such a way that, even though they
were not as unbearable as those I already mentioned before8 or
250
St. Teresa of Avila
of such value, I didn't know what to do with myself. For nothing
satisfied me, nor could I put up with myself; it truly seemed as
if my soul were being wrested from me. O superb contrivance
of my Lord! What delicate skill \bu use with Your miserable slave!
You hide Yourself from me and afflict me with \bur love through
a death so delightful that the soul would never want to escape
from it.
9. It's impossible for anyone who has not experienced them
to be able to understand these impulses, which are so vehement.
For they are not a disquiet of the heart. Neither are they the
certain devotional feelings that often occur and seem to suffocate
the spirit because they can't be contained. These devotional feel-
ings belong to a lower form of prayer and their impetuous stir-
rings should be avoided by trying gently to gather them within
oneself and by quieting the soul. This condition is like that of
children crying so furiously that it seems they are about to be
suffocated; their excessive feelings cease when they are given
something to drink. So it is here. Reason should bridle these
feelings because they could be caused by our own natural
weakness. We should consider with fear that they are not total-
ly perfect but can pertain in great part to the sensory portion
of the soul. And let this child become quiet by a loving caress
which moves it to love, by gentle means and not by blows, as
they say. Let this love be held within and not resemble the pot
that heats up too fast and boils over because too much wood
was put on the fire. They should moderate the causes of the in-
crease of this fire and strive to put it out with gentle and not
arduous tears; for such are the tears that come from these feel-
ings, and these tears do much harm. I myself sometimes ex-
perienced them in the beginning, and they left my head so ex-
hausted and my spirit so tired that for another day or more I
was unfit to return to prayer. Hence great discretion is necessary
in the beginning so that everything may proceed gently and the
spirit may be shown how to work interiorly. One should strive
earnestly to avoid exterior feelings.
10. These other impulses are far different. We ourselves don't
put the wood on the fire, but it seems that once the fire is going
we are suddenly thrown into it so as to be burned up. The soul
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 29
251
doesn't strive for the pain of this wound caused by the Lord's
absence, but at times an arrow is thrust into the deepest and
most living recesses of the heart in such a way that the soul doesn't
know what has happened or what it wants. It well understands
that it wants God and that the arrow seems to have been dipped
in a poisonous herb so that for the love of this Lord it might
despise itself; and it would gladly lose its life for Him. You can't
exaggerate or describe the way in which God wounds the soul
and the extreme pain this wound produces, for it causes the soul
to forget itself. Yet this pain is so delightful that there is no other
pleasure in life that gives greater happiness. The soul would
always want, as I said,9 to be dying of this sickness.
11. This pain and glory joined together left me confused; I
couldn't understand how such a combination was possible. Oh,
what it is to see a wounded soul! I say that this reality should
be understood in such a way that the soul is said to be wounded
for a very sublime reason and there be clear awareness that the
soul did not cause this love, but that seemingly a spark from
the very great love the Lord has for it suddenly fell upon it, mak-
ing it burn all over. Oh, how many times when I am in this
state do I recall that verse of David; Quemadmodum desiderat cervus
adfontes aquarum\w for it seems to me that I experience it literal-
ly within myself.
12. When this thirst is not too severe, it seems it can be ap-
peased somewhat; at least the soul seeks some remedy — for it
doesn't know what to do — through certain penances, but they
are no more felt and cause no more pain than would the shed-
ding of blood from a dead body. It seeks ways and means of
doing something about the love of God it feels. But this pain
of love is so great that I don't know what bodily torment would
take it away. Since the remedy doesn't lie in bodily penances,
these penances make very poor medicine for so sublime a
sickness. They can relieve it somewhat, and the soul can get along
in this way while at the same time begging God to provide a
cure for its sickness. But it sees no remedy other than death,
for it thinks that by means of death it can enjoy its Good com-
pletely. At other times the pain becomes so severe that the soul
can do neither penance nor anything else, for the whole body
252
St. Teresa of Avila
is paralyzed. One is unable to stir with either the feet or the arms.
Rather, if one is standing, one sits down, like a person being
carried from one place to another, unable even to breathe. The
soul lets out some sighs — not great ones — because it can do no
more; they are felt within.
13. The Lord wanted me while in this state to see sometimes
the following vision: I saw close to me toward my left side an
angel in bodily form. I don't usually see angels in bodily form
except on rare occasions; although many times angels appear
to me, but without my seeing them, as in the intellectual vision
I spoke about before.11 This time, though, the Lord desired
that I see the vision in the following way: the angel was not large
but small; he was very beautiful, and his face was so aflame that
he seemed to be one of those very sublime angels that appear
to be all afire. They must belong to those they call the cherubim,
for they didn't tell me their names. But I see clearly that in heaven
there is so much difference between some angels and others and
between these latter and still others that I wouldn't know how
to explain it. I saw in his hands a large golden dart and at the
end of the iron tip there appeared to be a little fire. It seemed
to me this angel plunged the dart several times into my heart
and that it reached deep within me. When he drew it out, I
thought he was carrying off with him the deepest part of me;
and he left me all on fire with great love of God. The pain was
so great that it made me moan, and the sweetness this greatest
pain caused me was so superabundant that there is no desire
capable of taking it away; nor is the soul content with less than
God. The pain is not bodily but spiritual, although the body
doesn't fail to share in some of it, and even a great deal. The
loving exchange that takes place between the soul and God is
so sweet that I beg Him in His goodness to give a taste of this
love to anyone who thinks I am lying.
14. On the days this lasted I went about as though stupefied.
I desired neither to see nor to speak, but to clasp my suffering
close to me, for to me it was greater glory than all creation.
Sometimes it happened — when the Lord desired — that these
raptures were so great that even though I was among people
I couldn't resist them; to my deep affliction they began to be
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 30
253
made public. After I experience them I don't feel this suffering
so strongly; rather I experience what I mentioned before in that
other part — I don't recall which chapter — 12 which is very dif-
ferent in many respects and more valuable. But when this pain
I'm now speaking of begins, it seems the Lord carries the soul
away and places it in ecstasy; thus there is no room for pain
or suffering, because joy soon enters in.
May He be blessed forever who grants so many favors to one
who responds so poorly to gifts as great as these.
Chapter 30
Returns to the account of her life and tells how the Lord removed many
of her trials by bringing to the city in which she lived the saintly Friar
Peter of Alcantara, of the order of the glorious St. Francis. Discusses the
great temptations and interior trials she sometimes underwent.
AWARE THEN OF THE LITTLE, or nothing at all, I
could do to avoid these impulses, which were so great, I
also feared having them; I didn't understand how suffering and
happiness could go together. Bodily suffering and spiritual hap-
piness I already knew were truly possible; but such excessive
spiritual pain with such very great joy — this bewildered me.
I still didn't stop trying to resist, but I could do so little that
sometimes it tired me. I protected myself with the cross and
wanted to defend myself with the means by which the Lord pro-
tected all of us. I saw that no one understood me; I knew this
very clearly. But I didn't dare mention it except to my confessor,
for to have done so would have amounted to saying truly and
clearly that I wasn't humble.
2. The Lord was pleased to remove a great part of my trial —
and then all of it — by bringing to this city the blessed Friar Peter
of Alcantara, whom I already mentioned; and I said something
about his penance.1 Among other things, it was verified for me
that for twenty years he continually wore a hairshirt made of
tin plate. He is the author of some small books in the vernacular
on prayer that are now popular, for as one who practiced it well
254
St. Teresa of Avila
himself he wrote in a very helpful way for those who are given
to prayer.2 He observed the first rule of the blessed St. Fran-
cis in all its rigor besides the other things mentioned to some
extent above.
3. Well, that widow, the servant of God and friend of mine
whom I mentioned,3 knew that so great a man was here; and
she knew also of my need. She was a witness to my afflictions,
and she comforted me greatly because her faith was so strong
that she couldn't but believe that what all the others attributed
to the devil was from the Spirit of God. Since she is a very in-
telligent and trustworthy person to whom the Lord has granted
much favor in prayer, His Majesty desired to enlighten her in
matters about which the learned men were ignorant. My con-
fessors gave me permission to confide some things to her, for
there were many reasons for trusting her. Sometimes the Lord
shared with her the favors He granted me together with counsel
very profitable for her soul.
Once she knew that this saintly man was in the city, without
saying anything to me, she obtained permission from my pro-
vincial that I stay at her house for eight days so that I might
be able to talk with him more easily. Both in her home and in
some of the churches I spoke with him frequently during this
first time he was here; afterward at various times I conversed
with him a great deal. I gave him a summary account of my
life and manner of proceeding in prayer as clearly as I knew how.
I always tried to speak with complete clarity and truthfulness
to those with whom I conversed about my soul. I desired that
they know even about any first stirrings, and I accused myself
of matter that was doubtful and questionable with arguments
against myself. Thus without any duplicity or covering over I
discussed my soul with him.
4. Almost from the outset I saw that he understood me through
experience, which was all that I needed. For at that time I didn't
understand myself or how to describe my experiences as I do
now (for afterward God enabled me to understand and describe
the favors that His Majesty granted me), and it was necessary
that the one who understood me and explained these experiences
to me should himself have experienced them. Friar Peter great-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 30
255
ly enlightened me; I couldn't understand that such an experience
was possible, at least as regards the visions that were not im-
aginative. It seemed to me that I didn't understand either how
those I saw with the eyes of my soul were possible. As I have
said,4 only those that were seen with the bodily eyes seemed to
me to merit attention, and I didn't experience these.
5. This holy man enlightened me about everything and ex-
plained it to me, and he told me not to be grieved but that I
should praise God and be so certain that all was from His Spirit
that with the exception of the faith nothing could for me be truer
or more believable. He was much consoled along with me and
showed me every kind regard and favor, and ever afterward he
was very solicitous for me and shared with me his own concerns
and business matters. Since he saw that I had desires for what
he possessed in deed — for the Lord gave me these in a very
definite way — and saw that I had so much courage, he was glad
to talk to me. For anyone the Lord brings to this state finds no
pleasure or consolation equal to that of meeting someone to whom
they think the Lord has begun to grant these desires. I couldn't
then have had many more, in my opinion, and please God I
may have them now.
6. He took the greatest pity on me. He told me that one of
the worst trials on earth was the one I had suffered (which is
contradiction on the part of good men), and that I had still a
long way to go; for I was always in need and there was no one
in this city who understood me. But he said that he would speak
to my confessor and to the one who troubled me the most, for
that was this married gentleman whom I've already mentioned.
As the one who felt the greatest good- will toward me, this gentle-
man waged the whole opposition. He is a God-fearing and holy
man; but since he had seen that I had so recently been so
wretched, he wasn't able to feel assured. Thus the holy Friar
Peter assured them, for he spoke to both of them and gave them
motives and reasons for feeling safe and not disturbing me any
more. My confessor had need of little assurance; the gentleman
needed so much that the reasons were still not entirely enough,
but they helped to keep him from frightening me so much.1'
7. We agreed that from then on I would write to him about
256
St. Teresa of Avila
what happened to me and that we would pray a good deal for
each other. For such was his humility that he esteemed the
prayers of this miserable one — which brought much embarrass-
ment to me. He left me with the greatest consolation and happi-
ness and the ability to feel secure in my prayer and not doubt
that it was from God; he told me that if I had some doubt about
anything, for the sake of greater security, I should make it known
to my confessor, and that in this way I would live safely.
But I wasn't able to feel this assurance completely, because
the Lord led me by the way of fear, in which I believed an ex-
perience was from the devil when they told me it was. Thus no
one could make me so feel either fear or assurance that I could
give my experiences more credence than that which the Lord
placed in my soul. Hence even though Friar Peter consoled and
calmed me, I didn't give his words such credence as to be total-
ly without fear, especially when the Lord left me in the trials
of soul of which I shall now speak. Nevertheless, I remained,
as I say, very consoled. I couldn't give enough thanks to God
and to my glorious father St. Joseph, for it seemed to me that
since Friar Peter was the general of the commissariat, it was St.
Joseph who brought him here; for the commissariat is under the
guardianship of St. Joseph,6 to whom I prayed very much, as
I did also to our Lady.
8. It sometimes happened to me — and even now it does,
although not so much — that I had such very bitter trials of soul
together with severe bodily torments, pains, and sicknesses that
I wasn't able to help myself. At other times I had more serious
bodily illnesses; yet, since I didn't have the sufferings of soul,
I suffered them with great gladness. But when they were all joined
together the trial was so severe that it afflicted me very much.
All the favors the Lord had granted me were forgotten. There
only remained the memory so as to cause pain; they were like
a dream. For the intellect became so stupefied that it made me
walk in the midst of a thousand doubts and suspicions making
it seem that I had not understood and that perhaps I had fancied
the visions and that it was enough that I was deceived without
my in turn deceiving good people. It seemed to me I was so evil
that all the wickedness and heresies that had arisen were due
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 30
257
to my sins.
9. This was a false humility the devil invented in order to dis-
quiet me and try, if he could, to bring my soul to despair. I have
so much experience now of when something is from the devil
that since he at present sees that I understand him, he doesn't
torment me in this way as often as he used to. He is recognized
clearly by the disturbance and disquiet with which he begins,
by the agitation the soul feels as long as his work lasts, by the
darkness and affliction he places in the soul, and by dryness and
the disinclination toward prayer or toward any good work. It
seems that he smothers the soul and binds up the body so that
it profits from nothing. Even though the soul knows its own
wretchedness and grieves to see what we are, and even though
we have exaggerated thoughts about our wickedness, as exag-
gerated as those mentioned,7 and these are genuinely felt, true
humility doesn't come to the soul with agitation or disturbance,
nor does it darken it or bring it dryness. Rather, true humility
consoles and acts in a completely opposite way: quietly, gently,
and with light. From another point of view, this pain gives the
soul comfort in that the soul sees what a great favor the Lord
grants it through the experience of that pain and how well
employed it is. It grieves for its offenses against God; yet, on
the other hand, His mercy lifts its spirits. It has the light to be
confounded about itself, and it praises God for having put up
with it so long. In that other humility caused by the devil, there
is no light for anything good; it seems God lays everything to
waste with fire and sword. The devil represents justice to the
soul, and although it has faith that there is mercy — because he
can't do so much as to make it lose its faith — it receives no con-
solation from this faith; rather, when it beholds so much mercy,
this knowledge contributes to its torment because it supposes
it was obliged to do more.
10. This is one of the most painful, subtle, and beguiling in-
ventions of the devil that I have known. Thus I should like to
warn your Reverence so that if he should tempt you in this way
you may have some light and recognize it — if he allows the in-
tellect to recognize it. Don't think it's a question of learning or
knowing, for although everything fails me at this time, after-
258
St. Teresa of Avila
ward, when I am freed from them, I know clearly that the feel-
ings are foolish. What I've understood is that the Lord desires
and permits this and gives the devil license to tempt us as He
did when the devil tempted Job,8 although in my case — since
I'm so wretched — not so severely.
11. This experience happened to me, and I remember that
it happened on the day before the vigil of Corpus Christi, a feast
for which I have much devotion, although not as much as I
should. That time it lasted only until the feastday, for at other
times the experience lasts for eight or fifteen days, or even three
weeks — I don't know if any lasted longer. It comes especially
during Holy Week when prayer is my delight. What happens
is that my intellect is suddenly seized by things sometimes so
trivial that at other times I would laugh about them. The devil
makes the soul upset in every way he wants and shackles it there
without its being master of itself or able to think of anything
else than the absurdities he represents to it; they have almost
no importance, neither do they bind nor do they loose. He only
binds the soul so as to oppress it in such a way as to make it
feel uneasy. So it happened to me that it seemed the devils were
playing ball with my soul and that it was unable to free itself
from their power. What it suffers at this time is indescribable.
It seeks out relief, but God doesn't permit it to find any; there
only remains the light of reason, which precedes the use of free
will, but this light is not clear. I mean that the eyes are almost
covered. It's like the case of those who have often gone by a cer-
tain path and, although it is night and dark outside, know where
they may stumble because of a previously acquired feel for this
way and because they have seen it during the daytime, and they
watch out for that danger. So it is with respect to not offending
God, for it seems the soul moves by habit. Let us leave aside
the fact that the Lord holds it in His hands, which is what matters.
12. Faith is then deadened and put to sleep as are all the other
virtues — although not lost. The soul truly believes what the
Church holds, but this is pronounced vocally; it seems that on
the other hand it is afflicted and made numb so that it seeming-
ly knows God almost as it does something it hears far in the
distance. Love becomes so lukewarm that if it hears someone
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 30
259
speaking about God it listens as though the truth about Him
were something it believes to be what it is because the Church
does, but there is no memory of what it has experienced within
itself. Going to prayer or remaining in solitude means nothing
else but more anguish, for the torment it feels within itself,
without knowing why, is unbearable. In my opinion the ex-
perience is a kind of copy of hell. This is so, according to what
the Lord made known to me in a vision; for the soul burns within
itself without knowing who started the fire or where it comes
from or how to flee from it or what to put it out with. Should
it want to remedy the situation by reading, it would feel as though
it didn't know how to read. Once it happened that I started to
read a life of a saint to see if it would absorb me, and to console
myself by what he suffered; after reading a number of lines four
or five times, I understood less from them than I did at the begin-
ning, and so I stopped. This happened to me often, although
I recall this instance more particularly.
13. To carry on a conversation with anyone is worse, for the
devil gives a spirit of anger so displeasing that it seems as if I
want to eat everyone up, without being able to help it; or it would
seem to me an accomplishment if one could control one's temper;
or the Lord does so by keeping in His hands the soul that is in
such a condition lest it say or do anything against its neighbors
that might hurt them and offend God.
Well, with regard to going to my confessor, it is certain that
what I am about to say happened many times. Although the
confessors I dealt with and am dealing with at this time are very
holy, they spoke harshly and scolded me; afterward when I told
them, they themselves were surprised and told me that to refrain
from doing so was not in their power. They tried hard not to
do it again, for afterward they felt sorry and even scrupulous
about having done this. But when I had similar trials of body
and soul and they were determined to comfort me with com-
passion, they were unable to do so. They didn't say any evil
words — I mean that would offend God — but said the most
unpleasant allowable in a confessor. They must have meant to
mortify me; and although at other times I was glad and ready
to suffer such mortification, during the time of this experience
260
St. Teresa of Avila
everything was a torment to me.
I also got the feeling that I was deceiving them, and I went
to them and warned them very earnestly to be careful of me since
I could deceive them . I saw clearly that I wouldn't do it deliberate-
ly nor would I lie to them, but everything made me afraid. One
of them once told me,q since he understood the temptation, not
to feel grieved, that, even if I wanted to deceive him, he had
the intelligence not to let himself be deceived. This gave me great
consolation.
14. Sometimes (or almost ordinarily — at least, quite often)
after receiving Communion I was at peace. And sometimes in
approaching the Sacrament I felt at once so good in soul and
body that I was surprised. It seems that in only a moment all
the darknesses of the soul disperse; and once the sun is out, the
soul recognizes the foolishness in which it was held. At other
times, by one word the Lord spoke to me. Only by His saying,
"Don't grow weary, don't be afraid," as I've already mentioned
elsewhere,10 I was left completely cured; or by seeing some
vision, as though I had not suffered anything. I delighted in God;
I complained to Him for consenting that I should suffer so many
torments. But this suffering was well repaid, for almost always
the favors afterward came in great abundance. I only think that
the soul comes out of the crucible like gold, more refined and
purified, so as to see the Lord within itself. So afterward these
trials that seemed unbearable become small, and one wants to
return to suffering if the Lord will be more served by it. And
even though there may be more tribulations and persecutions,
if they are undergone without offending the Lord but in being
happy to suffer them for Him, everything will be for a greater
gain — although I don't bear them as they should be borne, but
quite imperfectly.
15. At other times the experience is of another sort. It hap-
pens that all of a sudden, I believe, there is taken away the
possibility of my thinking any good thing or wanting to do it,
and the body and soul feel completely useless and weighed down.
I don't have those other temptations and worries, but a
displeasure, without understanding why; nor does anything give
satisfaction to my soul. I tried to perform good exterior works
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 30
261
so as to occupy myself half by force — I well know the little a
soul amounts to when grace is hidden. It wasn't very painful,
because this sight of my lowliness gave me some satisfaction.
16. At other times I find that I can't even form in a fitting
way a thought about God or of any good, or practice prayer,
even though I'm in solitude; but I feel that I know Him. I under-
stand that it is the intellect and imagination that does me harm
here, for the will is all right it seems to me and disposed toward
every good. But this intellect is so wild that it doesn't seem to
be anything else than a frantic madman no one can tie down;11
nor am I master of it long enough to keep it calm for the space
of a Creed. Sometimes I laugh at myself and know my misery,
and I look at this madman and leave it alone to see what it does;
and — glory to God — it surprisingly enough never turns to evil
but to indifferent things: to whether there is anything to do here
or there or over yonder. I then know better the tremendous favor
the Lord grants me when He holds this madman bound in perfect
contemplation. I wonder what would happen if the persons who
think I'm so good were to see this delirium. I greatly pity the
soul to see it in such bad company. I want to see it free, and
so I say to the Lord: "When, my God, will I finally see my soul
joined together in Your praise, so that all its faculties may en-
joy You? Do not permit, Lord, that it be broken any longer in
pieces, for it only seems that each piece goes its own way."
I often undergo this scattering of the faculties; sometimes I
understand clearly that my lack of physical health has much to
do with it. I frequently recall the harm original sin did to us;
this is the source, I think, of our being incapable of enjoying
so much good in an integral way. And my own sins must be
a cause; if I hadn't committed so many, I would be more in-
tegrated in good.
17. I also suffered another great trial. Since it seemed that
I understood all the books I read that treat of prayer and that
the Lord had already given me such favors, I thought I had no
need of these books and so did not read them but read only lives
of the saints. Since I felt so lacking in the ways they served God,
reading about them seemed to benefit and encourage me. I
thought it showed very little humility to think that I had attained
262
St. Teresa of Avila
these favors of prayer, and since I couldn't bring myself to think
otherwise, it grieved me very much until learned men and the
blessed Friar Peter of Alcantara told me not to worry about it.
I see clearly that I haven't begun to serve God — although His
Majesty grants me favors as He does to many good people —
and that I am imperfection incarnate, except in desires and in
loving; in these latter I see clearly that the Lord has favored me
so that I might serve Him in something. It really seems to me
that I love Him, but my works and the many imperfections I
see in myself sadden me.
18. At other times there comes a foolishness of soul — that's
what I call it — for it seems to me that I do neither good nor evil,
but follow the crowd, as they say. I do so neither in pain nor I
in glory, nor does it give life or death, or please or weigh me
down. It doesn't seem that the soul feels anything. I think it goes
about like a little donkey that's grazing; it is nourished because
they give it to eat, and it eats almost without perceiving that
it does so. The soul in this state must not remain without
nourishing itself on some great favors from God. For in a life
so miserable it doesn't regret living, and it endures life with
equanimity; but it feels no movements or effects by which it might
understand itself.
19. It seems to me now the soul is as though sailing with a
very calm wind, for one travels far without understanding how.
In those other kinds of favors the effects are so pronounced that
the soul almost immediately sees its improvement; for then the
desires are restless and the soul never succeeds in being satisfied.
This is the experience of those to whom God gives the great im-
pulses of love I mentioned.12 These impulses are like some lit-
tle springs I've seen flowing; they never cease to move the sand
upward. This is a good example of, or comparison to, souls that
reach this state: love is always stirring and thinking about what
it will do. It cannot contain itself, just as that water doesn't seem
to fit in the earth; but the earth casts it out of itself. So is the
soul very habitually, for by reason of the love it has it doesn't
rest in or contain itself. It is already soaked in this water; it would
want others to drink, since it has no lack of water, so that they
might help it praise God. Oh, how many times do I recall the
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 30
263
living water that the Lord told the Samaritan woman about! And
so I am very fond of that gospel passage. Thus it is, indeed, that
from the time I was a little child, without understanding this
good as I do now, I often begged the Lord to give me the water.
I always carried with me a painting of this episode of the Lord
at the well, with the words, inscribed: Domine, da mihi aquam.l]
20. This love also seems like a huge fire that always needs
something to burn so as not to go out. Thus in the case of the
souls I'm speaking of, even were it to cost them a great deal,
they would want to carry wood so that this fire might not be
extinguished. I am the kind who is made happy even with pieces
of straw I can throw on it; and this I do sometimes — or many
times. On occasion I laugh at myself, and at other times I grow
weary. An interior stirring incites me to some service — I'm not
capable of any more: arranging branches and flowers before holy
images, sweeping, or putting a chapel in order, doing such lowly
little things that it embarrasses me. If I performed some penance,
it all amounted to little and was of such a kind that, were it not
for the fact that the Lord accepted my desire, I saw that it had
no importance — and I myself made fun of myself. Well, souls
to whom God through His goodness gives abundantly this fire
of His love suffer no small trial in lacking bodily strength to do
something for Him. It is truly a great suffering. Since the soul
lacks the strength to throw some wood on this fire and is dying
lest the fire go out, I think that within itself it is being consumed
and turned to ashes and dissolved in tears and burnt up; this
is a terrible torment, although it is a delightful one.
21. Let the soul who has reached this state praise the Lord,
because He has given it the bodily strength to do penance, or
the learning, talents, and freedom to preach and confess and
bring souls to God. For such a soul doesn't know or understand
the blessing it has unless it has experienced a taste of what it
is to be unable to do anything in the service of the Lord, and
yet always receive a great deal. May He be blessed for everything,
and may the angels give Him glory, amen.
22. I don't know if I'm doing well in writing about so many
details. Since your Reverence again sent me orders not to worry
about enlarging this and not to omit anything, I'm dealing clearly
264
St. Teresa of Avila
and truthfully with what I remember. And I can't help but leave
a lot out, because otherwise I would be wasting much more
time — and I have so little as I said — 14and perhaps would not
put down anything worthwhile.
Chapter 31
Deals with some exterior temptations and representations of the devil and
the torments he inflicted on her. Treats also of some matters very beneficial
for advising persons who journey on the path of perfection.
NOW THAT I'VE MENTIONED some interior, secret
temptations and disturbances the devil caused me,1 I
want to tell about others he caused almost publicly and in which
one could not be mistaken that he was the source.
2. I was once in an oratory, and he appeared to me in an abom-
inable form at my left side. Because he spoke to me, I looked
particularly at his mouth — which was frightening. It seemed that
a great flame, all bright without shadow, came forth from his
body . He told me in a terrifying way that I had really freed myself
from his hands but that he would catch me with them again.
I was struck with great fear and blessed myself as best I could;
he disappeared, but returned right away. This happened to me
twice. I didn't know what to do. There was some holy water there,
and I threw it in that direction; he never returned again.
3. Another time I was tormented for five hours with such terri-
ble interior and exterior pains and disturbance that it didn't seem
to me I could suffer them any longer. The Sisters who were with
me were frightened and didn't know what to do, nor did I know
how to help myself. When bodily pains and sickness become in-
tolerable I have the custom of making interior acts of supplica-
tion to the Lord as best I can, that if His Majesty be served by
my doing so He might give me patience and I might remain
in this state until the end of the world. Well, since I was suffer-
ing so severely this time, I was helping myself through these acts
and resolutions so as to be able to bear it. The Lord wanted me
to understand it was the devil because I saw beside me a black,
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 31
265
very abominable little creature, snarling like one in despair that
where he had tried to gain he had lost. When I saw him I laughed
to myself and was not afraid. There were some Sisters there with
me who were unable to help nor did they know of any remedy
for so much torment; without being able to resist, I was strik-
ing myself hard on the body, head, and arms. What was worse
was the interior disturbance, for I wasn't able to feel calm of
any sort. I didn't dare ask for holy water lest I frighten them
and they come to understand what the trouble was.
4. I often experience that there is nothing the devils flee from
more — without returning — than holy water. They also flee from
the cross, but they return. The power of holy water must be great.
For me there is a particular and very noticeable consolation my
soul experiences upon taking it. Without a doubt my soul feels
ordinarily a refreshment I wouldn't know how to explain, like
an interior delight that comforts it entirely. This isn't some fancy
or something that has happened to me only once, but something
that has happened often and that I've observed carefully. Let
us say the relief is like that coming to a person, very hot and
thirsty, on drinking ajar of cold water; it seems the refreshment
is felt all over. I consider everything ordained by the Church
to be important, and I rejoice to see the power of those words
recited over the water so that its difference from unblessed water
becomes so great.
5. Well, since the torment didn't stop, I said: "If you wouldn't
laugh, I'd ask for holy water." They brought it to me and
sprinkled some on me, but it didn't help. I threw some toward
where the devil was, and instantly he went away and all the illness
left me as if it were taken away by hand, except that I remained
weary as though I had been badly beaten with a stick. It did
me a lot of good to reflect upon what he will do to the soul he
possesses as his own if even when the soul and body don't belong
to him, he causes so much harm — when the Lord permits. It
made me again eager to be freed from such dreadful company.
6. Another time, not long ago, the same thing happened to
me; although it didn't last as long, and I was alone. I called for
holy water, and those who entered after the devil had already
gone (for they were two nuns well worthy of belief, who would
266
St. Teresa of Avila
by no means tell a lie) smelled a foul stench like that of brimstone.
I didn't smell it. It so lingered that one could notice it.
Another time I was in the choir, and there came upon me
a strong impulse toward recollection. I left the choir so that the
others wouldn't notice, although all of them heard the striking
of loud blows near the place where I was; I heard some coarse
words next to me as though the devils were plotting something,
although I didn't understand what. But I was so absorbed in
prayer I didn't understand anything nor did I have any fear.
It happened, almost every time, when the Lord granted me the
favor of persuading some soul to advance in perfection.
7. It is certain that what I shall now tell happened to me. (And
there are many witnesses to this, especially the one who is now
my confessor2 since he saw it written in a letter; without my
telling him who the person was to whom the letter belonged,
he knew very well who it was.)
A person came to me who had been in mortal sin for two and
a half years. It was one of the most abominable I've heard of,
and in all this time he hadn't confessed or made amends; and
he was saying Mass. Although he was confessing other sins, of
this one he asked how he could confess something so ugly. He
had a great desire to give it up, but he wasn't able to help himself.
He made me feel great pity, and my seeing that he offended
God in such a way caused me deep sorrow. I promised him I
would beg God very much to liberate him and that I would get
others better than myself to do the same, and I wrote to him
through a certain person he told me I could give the letters to.
And so it happened that after receiving the first letter he went
to confession. For God desired (through the many very holy
persons to whose prayers I recommended him) to grant this soul
that mercy; and I, although miserable, did what I could with
great care. He wrote to me that he was so much better that for
days he had not fallen into the sin, but that the torment the temp-
tation gave him was so intense it seemed from what he suffered
he was in hell; he asked me to commend him to God. I in turn
recommended him to my Sisters through whose prayers the Lord
must have granted me this favor, for they took the matter very
much to heart. No one could guess who the person was. I begged
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 31
267
His Majesty to mitigate those torments and temptations and that
those devils would come to afflict me, provided that I would not
offend the Lord in anything. As a result, for a month I suffered
severe torments; it was during this time that these two things
I mentioned happened.3
8. The Lord was pleased that they leave him; this he wrote
to me, for I told him what I was going through during that
month. His soul was fortified, and .he was left completely free.
He didn't have enough of thanking God and me — as though I
had done anything. But the reputation I had from the fact that
the Lord granted me favors benefited him. He said that when
he found himself very distressed he read my letters, and the temp-
tation left him. He was very impressed by what I had suffered
and how he had been freed. Even I was amazed, and I would
have suffered many more years to see that soul free. May the
Lord be praised for everything, for the prayer of those who serve
Him (as I believe do these Sisters in this house)4 can do much.
But since I sought these prayers, the devils must have been more
angry with me; and the Lord on account of my sins permitted
this.
9. Also one night during this time I thought they were chok-
ing me; after much holy water had been sprinkled around, I saw
a great multitude of them go by, as though they were being
thrown down a precipice. There are so many times that these
cursed creatures torment me, and so little is the fear I now have
of them, seeing that they cannot stir unless the Lord allows them,
that I would tire your Reverence and tire myself if I told about
all these instances.
10. May what was said be of help that the true servant of God
might pay no attention to the scarecrows the devils set up in order
to cause fear. We should know that each time we pay no atten-
tion to them they are weakened, and the soul gains much more
mastery. Some great benefit always remains, which I won't go
into so as not to enlarge. I shall only mention what happened
to me on the night of All Souls: while I was in the oratory after
having recited a nocturn and while saying some very devotional
prayers that come at the end, a devil appeared on the book so
that I couldn't finish the prayer. I blessed myself, and he went
268
St. Teresa of Avila
away. When I began again to recite the prayers, he returned.
I believe it was three times I began, and until I threw holy water
at him I couldn't finish. I saw that some souls left purgatory at
that instant; little must have been lacking to their freedom, and
I wondered if he had aimed at preventing this.
A few times I've seen him in physical form, but many times
with no physical form — as for instance in the vision mentioned
above' in which without seeing any form one knows he is
there.
1 1 . I also want to tell the following because it frightened me
a lot: one day on the feast of the Trinity, being in the choir of
a certain monastery and in rapture, I saw a great battle of devils
against angels. I couldn't understand what that vision meant.
In less than fifteen days it became easily understandable on
account of a certain conflict that arose between people of prayer
and many who were not, and a lot of harm was done in the house
in which it took place. It was a battle that lasted a long time
and caused much disquiet.
At other times I saw a large multitude of devils around me,
and it seemed that a great brightness encircled me, and this
prevented them from reaching me. I understood that God was
watching over me so that they could not get to me in order to
make me offend Him. From what I sometimes saw in myself,
I understood that it was a true vision. The fact is that now I
have understood so well the little bit of power he has, provided
I'm not against God, that I have almost no fear. The powers
of devils are nothing if these devils do not find souls cowardly
and surrendered to them; it is with such souls that they show
their power. Sometimes, in the temptations I already mention-
ed,() it seemed to me that all the vanities and weaknesses of the
past were again awakening within me; I had really to commend
myself to God. At once the torment came of thinking that since
those thoughts arose in me the favors I experienced must all be
from the devil. It seemed to me that there shouldn't have been
even the first stirrings of a bad thought in one who was receiv-
ing so many favors from the Lord. But then my confessor put
me at peace.
12. At other times I was severely tormented — and even now
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 31
269
I'm tormented by it — upon seeing that I was esteemed, especially
by eminent persons, and that they spoke very well of me. From
this esteem I've suffered and do suffer a great deal. I then look
at the life of Christ and of the saints, and it seems to me I'm
going in the opposite direction since they didn't advance except
through contempt and insults. It makes me walk in fear and as
one who doesn't dare raise her head or want to be seen. This
I don't do when I'm experiencing persecutions; then the soul
walks with head held high, although the body feels them and,
from another perspective, I am afflicted; but I don't know how
this can be. Yet so it happens, for it then seems that the soul
is in its kingdom and puts everything under its feet.
Sometimes I experienced the following temptation, which
lasted for many days; it seemed to be virtue and humility on
the one hand, but now I see plainly it was a temptation (a
Dominican friar, a very learned man,7 explained it to me clear-
ly): when I thought these favors the Lord grants me would
become known publicly, the torment was so excessive that my
soul was deeply disturbed. The disturbance reached the point
that, in reflecting upon it, it seemed to me I was more willing
to be buried alive than have these favors made known publicly.
So when these experiences of recollection or rapture began, which
I couldn't resist even in public, I was left so ashamed afterward
that I didn't want to be where anyone would see me.
13. Once when I was very worried about this, the Lord asked
me why I feared since only two things could happen from it;
they would either criticize me or praise Him. And He explained
that those who believed in the experience would praise Him and
that those who did not would condemn me, without fault; that
either outcome would be advantageous to me, and that I shouldn't
be anxious. This calmed me a great deal and consoles me when
I recall it. The temptation reached the point that I wanted to
leave that place and transfer my dowry to another monastery
much more enclosed than the one I lived in, for I had heard
it praised highly. It also belongs to my order ;a and it was very
far from here, which is what would have consoled me: to be some
place where they wouldn't know me. But my confessor never
allowed me to leave.
270
St. Teresa of Avila
14. These fears took away to a great extent my freedom of
spirit; afterward I came to understand that they didn't come from
genuine humility, since they disturbed me so much. And the
Lord taught me this truth: that I should be determined and
certain that His favor was not some good thing belonging to me
but that it belonged to God; that just as I wasn't sorry to hear
other persons praised (rather I was very happy and consoled to
see that God revealed Himself in them), I should neither be sorry
that His works be shown in me.
15.1 also went to another extreme. I begged God — and I had
a special prayer — that, when it appeared to others there was some
good in me, His Majesty would make known to them my sins
so that they might see how these favors were bestowed without
any merit on my part. I always desire a great deal that my lack
of merit be known. My confessor advised against this special
prayer. But until very recently, if I saw that a person thought
highly of me, in roundabout ways, or as I could, I got them to
know of my sins; in this way it seems I found relief. My con-
fessor also disapproved of this latter way of acting and made me
scrupulous about it.
16. Such feelings derived, in my opinion, not from humility
but from a temptation. It seemed to me I was deceiving everyone.
And although it is true that they were being deceived in think-
ing there was some good in me, it was not my desire to deceive
them, nor did I ever have such an aim; but the Lord permits
such things for some reason. So even with my confessors, if I
saw it wasn't necessary I didn't discuss anything, for doing so
would have made me very scrupulous.
I understand now that all these little fears and pains and this
appearance of humility came from serious imperfection and from
not being mortified. For a soul surrendered into God's hands
doesn't care whether they say good or evil about it. It thoroughly
understands — since the Lord desires to grant it the favor of
understanding this — that of itself it has nothing. Let it trust in
Him who bestows the favor, for He will know why He makes
the favor known; and let it be prepared for persecution, which
in these our times will certainly come whenever the Lord desires
that it be known He grants these kinds of favors to a certain
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 31
271
person. There are a thousand eyes ready to turn on a soul receiv-
ing such favors, but on a thousand souls of another kind there's
not even one eye ready to turn.
17. Truthfully, there is no small reason for fear, but this must
have been my own fear — not humility but pusillanimity. A soul
that God permits to advance in this way before the eyes of the
world can well prepare itself for martyrdom at the hands of this
world; because if it doesn't want to die to the world, the world
will itself put it to death. I really don't see anything in the world
that pleases me other than its intolerance of faults in the good,
forcing them to be perfect through its criticisms. If someone is
not perfect, I say that more courage is necessary to follow the
path to perfection than to suffer a quick martyrdom. For perfec-
tion is not attained quickly, unless the Lord wants to grant some-
one this favor by a special privilege. Seeing the soul begin, the
world wants it to be perfect, and at a thousand leagues distance
it thinks something is a fault which perhaps is a virtue; the one
who condemns the action uses that same action as a vice, and
thereby judges others. These souls must not have the means to
eat or sleep or even, as they say, to breathe; and the more they
are esteemed the more they must forget they are still in the body,
no matter how perfect the soul is. They still live on earth sub-
ject to their miseries, however much they may have trampled
them under foot. So, as I say, great courage is necessary because
the poor soul has not begun to walk, and they want it to be fly-
ing; it still hasn't conquered its passions, and they want it to be
as strong in great occasions of sin as they read the saints were
after being confirmed in grace.
What it undergoes in this situation is something to praise
the Lord for, and it also excites the heart to great pity; for many
souls turn back since the poor things don't know how to help
themselves. And I believe mine would have turned back, if the
Lord hadn't so mercifully done everything; for your Reverence
will see that there was no other ability in me than to fall and rise.
18. I'd like to know how to speak of this condition because
I believe many souls who want to fly before God gives them wings
are deceived in this matter. (I believe I have already used this
comparison,9 but it applies well here.) I'll discuss this because
272
St. Teresa of Avila
I see some souls very afflicted for this reason. Since they are
beginning with great desires, fervor, and determination to make
progress in virtue — and some for His sake abandon everything
as far as externals are concerned — and since in other persons
who have grown much more in perfection they see highly vir-
tuous actions granted by the Lord, and unobtainable by
ourselves, and see in all the books written on prayer and con-
templation the things we must do in order to mount up to this
dignity, and since they cannot immediately bring this about in
themselves, they become dejected. These virtuous actions would
be, for example: not caring at all if others speak badly of us but
rather being happier than when they speak well; little esteem
for honor; a detachment from relatives so that if these relatives
don't practice prayer one wouldn't desire to speak with them but
would rather grow tired of doing so; and many other things of
this kind which in my opinion God must give these souls. For
I think these virtues are already supernatural goods, or against
our natural inclination. Let not these souls become anxious, let
them hope in the Lord; through their prayer and their doing
what they can, His Majesty will bring it about that what they
now have in desires they shall possess in deed. It is very necessary
for this weak nature of ours to have great confidence and not
grow faint-hearted or start thinking that even if we make efforts
we shall still fail to gain the victory.
19. And since I have a lot of experience of this, I shall say
something for the sake of informing your Reverence.10 Don't
think, even though it may seem so to you, that virtue has already
been gained if it hasn't been tried by its contrary. We must always
be mistrustful of ourselves and never grow negligent as long as
we live. For many things immediately cling to us if, as I say,
the grace to know what everything is, is not yet given to us com-
pletely; in this life there is never anything that hasn't many
dangers. It seemed to me a few years ago not only that I was
detached from my relatives but that they bored me; so I felt cer-
tain that I couldn't bear their conversation. A very important
business matter came about and 1 had to stay with my sister
whom I previously loved very much.11 But in conversation with
her, even though she is better than I, I didn't feel any affinity.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 31
273
Since, being married, she is in a different state of life, the con-
versation couldn't always be what I'd have wanted, and as much
as possible I remained alone. Yet I saw that her troubles grieved
and worried me more than would those of a neighbor. In the
end, I understood I wasn't as free as I thought and that I still
had to flee the occasion so that this virtue that the Lord had begun
to give would grow; thus with His favor I strove to do so ever
after this.
20. When the Lord begins to give a virtue, it should be highly
esteemed; and we should in no way place ourselves in the danger
of losing it. This is true in matters concerning our honor and
in many others. Your Reverence should believe that not all those
of us who think we are detached, are in fact; it is necessary not
to grow careless in this matter. Let any person who wants to
advance and yet feels concerned about some point of honor
believe me and strive to overcome this attachment, which is like
a chain that cannot be broken by any file but only by God
through our prayer and earnest cooperation. It seems to me that
such attachment is a shackle on this road — I am astonished at
the harm it does.
I see some persons holy in their works, who perform such
mighty ones that the people marvel. May God help me! Why
is this soul still on earth? Why isn't it at the summit of perfec-
tion? What is this? Who detains the one who has done so much
for God? Oh, what does a point of honor have . . . ! And the worst
that it has is that it doesn't have anyone to understand what it
has. The reason is that the devil sometimes makes the soul think
it is obliged to receive honor.
21 . WTell, let them believe me (believe for the love of the Lord
this little ant, for He wants it to speak); if they don't remove
this caterpillar, even though it doesn't damage the tree complete-
ly, since some other virtues will remain, all the virtues will be
worm-eaten. The tree isn't a beautiful one, nor does it flourish,
nor does it even allow the others that are near it to flourish. The
fruit of good example that it gives is not healthy; it will last only
a short while. I often say that however small the point of honor
may be, the concern for it is like that of sound coming from an
organ when the timing or measure is off; all the music becomes
274
St. Teresa of Avila
dissonant. This concern is something that does damage to the
soul in all areas, but in this path of prayer it is a pestilence.
22. We are striving to be joined with God through union, and
we seek to follow His counsels coming from Christ, who was
weighed down by injuries and testimonies against Him, and we
desire our honor and credit to remain intact? It's not possible
to reach this union, for we aren't taking the same road. The Lord
comes to the soul if we make the effort and strive to give up our
rights in many matters. Some will say: "I have no occasion to
practice this detachment from my rights, nor does any come
along." I believe that the Lord will not want anyone with the
determination to practice this detachment to lose so much good.
His Majesty will ordain so many things by which the soul can
gain this virtue that it will not want so many. All hands to the
task!
23. I want to mention the trivial and insignificant things I
did when I began — or some of them: little straws I mentioned12
that I put on the fire, for I'm not capable of anything more. The
Lord receives all; may He be blessed forever.
Among my faults I had this one: Because of pure negligence
and involvement in other vanities, I knew little about the Office
in choir and what had to be done there; but I saw other novices
who could teach me. It occurred to me not to ask them so that
they wouldn't find out that I knew so little, and I wouldn't thereby
give them bad example. Such an attitude is very common. But
once God opened my eyes a little, even though I knew, when
there was the smallest doubt, I asked the youngest religious. I
lost neither honor nor credit; rather the Lord, in my opinion,
gave me a better memory afterward.
I didn't know how to sing well. I was so worried when I hadn't
studied what they had entrusted to me (not because I wanted
to avoid committing a fault before the Lord, since being bothered
about that would have been virtuous, but because of the many
that were listening to me), that just out of a sheer cult of honor
I was so disturbed that I said much less than I knew. I afterward
took it upon myself, when I didn't know the assignment very
well, simply to say so. I felt this very much in the beginning,
but afterward I enjoyed it. And it happened that when I began
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 31
275
not to care if they learned I didn't know that I recited much better,
and in the effort to get rid of the accursed honor, I came to know
how to do what I considered an honor, which, incidentally, each
one understands in his own way.
24. By means of these trifles, which are nothing — and a com-
plete nothing am I, since this pained me — little by little one makes
progress in deeds. And His Majesty gives value to little things
like these that are done for Him, and He gives the help for do-
ing greater things. So, with respect to humility it occurred to
me, upon seeing that all were advancing except myself— for I
was never good for anything — to gather up all their mantles when
they left the choir. It seemed to me I was serving those angels
that were praising God there. I did this until — I don't know
how — they came to know about it. This caused me no little em-
barrassment because my virtue hadn't reached the point of desir-
ing that they know these things; and this wasn't out of humility
but lest they laugh at me, since these things were such trifles.
25. O my Lord! What a shame it is to see so much wickedness
and to tell about some grains of sand, which even then I didn't
lift from the ground for Your service, since everything I did was
enveloped in a thousand miseries! The waters of Your grace
didn't flow yet under these grains of sand in order to raise them
up. O my Creator! Who could find among so many evils
something of substance to relate, since I am telling about the
great favors I've received from You! So it is, my Lord, that I
don't know how my heart can bear it or how anyone who reads
this can fail to abhor me in observing that such marvelous favors
were so poorly repaid and that I have no shame, in the end,
to recount these services as my own. Yes, I am ashamed, my
Lord; but having nothing else to tell about the part I played
makes me speak of such lowly beginnings so that anyone who
did great things in the beginning may have hope; since it seems
the Lord has taken my early actions into account, He will do
so more with theirs. May it please His Majesty to give me grace
so that I might not always remain at the beginning, amen.
276
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 32
Discusses how the Lord desired to put her spirit in a place in hell she
had deserved because of her sins. Gives a brief account of what was shown
her there. Begins to deal with the way in which the monastery of St. Joseph,
where she now is, was founded.
ALONG TIME AFTER THE LORD had already granted
me many of the favors I've mentioned1 and other very
lofty ones, while I was in prayer one day, I suddenly found that,
without knowing how, I had seemingly been put in hell. I
understood that the Lord wanted me to see the place the devils
had prepared there for me and which I merited because of my
sins. This experience took place within the shortest space of time,
but even were I to live for many years I think it would be im-
possible for me to forget it. The entrance it seems to me was
similar to a very long and narrow alleyway, like an oven, low
and dark and confined; the floor seemed to me to consist of dirty,
muddy water emitting a foul stench and swarming with putrid
vermin. At the end of the alleyway a hole that looked like a small
cupboard was hollowed out in the wall; there I found I was placed
in a cramped condition. All of this was delightful to see in com-
parison with what I felt there. What I have described can hard-
ly be exaggerated.
2. What I felt, it seems to me, cannot even begin to be exag-
gerated; nor can it be understood. I experienced a fire in the
soul that I don't know how I could describe. The bodily pains
were so unbearable that though I had suffered excruciating ones
in this life and according to what doctors say, the worst that can
be suffered on earth (for all my nerves were shrunken when I
was paralyzed,2 plus many other sufferings of many kinds that
I endured, and even some, as I said,3 caused by the devil),
these were all nothing in comparison with the ones I experienced
there. I saw furthermore that they would go on without end and
without ever ceasing. This, however, was nothing next to the
soul's agonizing: a constriction, a suffocation, an affliction so
keenly felt and with such a despairing and tormenting unhap-
piness that I don't know how to word it strongly enough. To
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 32
211
say the experience is as though the soul were continually being
wrested from the body would be insufficient, for it would make
you think somebody else is taking away the life, whereas here
it is the soul itself that tears itself in pieces. The fact is that I
don't know how to give a sufficiently powerful description of that
interior fire and that despair, coming in addition to such ex-
treme torments and pains. I didn't see who inflicted them on
me, but, as it seemed to me, I felt myself burning and crumbl-
ing; and I repeat the worst was that interior fire and despair.
3. Being in such an unwholesome place, so unable to hope
for any consolation, I found it impossible either to sit down or
to lie down, nor was there any room, even though they put me
in this kind of hole made in the wall. Those walls, which were
terrifying to see, closed in on themselves and suffocated
everything. There was no light, but all was enveloped in the
blackest darkness. I don't understand how this could be, that
everything painful to see was visible.
The Lord didn't want me to see any more of hell at that time.
Afterward I saw another vision of frightful things, the punish-
ment of some vices. With respect to the sight they seemed much
more frightening, but since I didn't feel the pain, they didn't cause
me so much fear. For in the former vision the Lord wanted me
actually to feel those spiritual torments and afflictions, as though
the body were suffering. I don't know how such an experience
was possible, but I well understood that it was a great favor and
that the Lord desired me to see with my own eyes the place His
mercy had freed me from. It amounts to nothing to hear these
pains spoken of, nor have I at other times thought about dif-
ferent torments (although not many, since my soul did not fare
well with such fearful thoughts; that is, that devils tear off the
flesh with pincers, or other various tortures I've read about) that
are anything in comparison to this pain; it is something different.
In sum, as a resemblance to the reality, being burned here on
earth is very little when compared to being burned by the fire
thai is there.
4. I was left terrified, and still am now in writing about this
almost six years later, and it seems to me that on account of
the fear my natural heat fails me right here and now. Thus I recall
278
St. Teresa of Avila
no time of trial or suffering in which it doesn't seem to me that
everything that can be suffered here on earth is nothing; so I
think in a way we complain without reason. Hence I repeat that
this experience was one of the greatest favors the Lord granted
me because it helped me very much to lose fear of the tribula-
tions and contradictions of this life as well as to grow strong
enough to suffer them and give thanks to the Lord who freed
me, as it now appears to me, from such everlasting and terrible
evils.
5. Since that time, as I say, everything seems to me easy when
compared to undergoing for a moment what I suffered there in
hell. I marvel how after having often read books in which the
pains of hell were somewhat explained I didn't fear them or take
them for what they were. Where was I? How could I find relax-
ation in anything when I was causing myself to go to such an
evil place? May You be blessed, my God, forever! How obvious
it is that You loved me much more than I did myself! How many
times, my Lord, have You freed me from so dark a prison, and
how often have I put myself in it again against Your will!
6. From this experience also flow the great impulses to help
souls and the extraordinary pain that is caused me by the many
that are condemned (especially the Lutherans, for they were
through baptism members of the Church). It seems certain to
me that in order to free one alone from such appalling torments
I would suffer many deaths very willingly. I notice that if we
see a person, whom in a special way we love here below, with
a great trial or suffering, it seems that our own very nature in-
vites us to compassion; and if their trial is great, we ourselves
become distressed. Well, who is there who can suffer seeing a
soul in the supreme trial of trials that has no end? No heart can
bear it without great pain. For if here on earth in knowing that
finally life will end and that it has its limit, we are still moved
to so much compassion, I don't know how we can rest in regard
to the other endless life when we see how the devil brings so many
souls each day with himself to hell.
7. This awareness also makes me desire that in a matter so
important we don't grow satisfied with anything less than doing
all we can on our part; let us neglect nothing, and may it please
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 32
279
the Lord that He be served by giving us the grace to do all we
can. I sometimes reflect that even though I was terribly wicked,
I had some concern about serving God, that I didn't do certain
things I see are done in the world as if they amount to nothing,
and, finally, that I suffered great illnesses and with a lot of
patience, which the Lord gave me, yet wasn't inclined to criticize
or speak evil of anyone — nor does it seem to me I could have
wished evil on anyone. Neither was I covetous, nor do I ever
recall being envious in such way that it would have been a grave
offense against the Lord; and there are some other things — for
even though I was so wretched, I usually had the fear of God.
Yet, in spite of all this, I see the place the devils had already
prepared for me. Indeed, on account of my faults, it seems to
me I still merited greater punishment. But, nonetheless, I say
that it was a terrible torment and that it is a dangerous thing
to be satisfied with ourselves, nor should the soul that falls at
every step into mortal sin be at rest or content. But for the love
of God we should avoid the occasions; the Lord will help us,
as He did me. May it please His Majesty not to let me out of
His hand lest I fall again, for I have already seen where I would
end up. May the Lord not allow it because of who His Majesty
is, amen.
8. After having seen this and other things and secrets that the
Lord, because of who He is, desired to show me about the glory
He will give to the good and the suffering that will go to the
evil, I was anxious to know the manner and way in which I could
do penance for so much evil and merit something in order to
gain so much good. I was desiring to flee people and withdraw
completely from the world. My spirit was not at rest, yet the
disquiet was not a disturbing but a delightful one. It was ob-
vious that it was from God and that His Majesty had given the
soul heat so as to digest other heavier foods than those it was
eating.
9. I was thinking about what I could do for God, and I thought
that the first thing was to follow the call to the religious life, which
His Majesty had given me, by keeping my rule as perfectly as
I could. Even though there were many servants of God in the
house where I was, and He was very well served in it, the nuns
280
St. Teresa of Avila
because of great necessity often went out to places where they
could stay — with the decorum proper to religious. Also, the rule
was not kept in its prime rigor, but was observed the way it was
in the whole order, that is, according to the bull of mitigation.4
There were also other disadvantages; it seemed to me the
monastery had a lot of comfort since it was a large and pleasant
one. But this disadvantage of going out, even though I was one
who did so a great deal, was now a serious one for me because
some persons to whom the superiors couldn't say "no" liked to
have me in their company; and when urged, the superiors
ordered me to go. So, by reason of their commands I wasn't able
to remain in the monastery much. The devil must have helped
partly to keep me from staying home; for since I was sharing
with some of the nuns what those with whom I was consulting
were teaching me, much good was being done.
10. It happened once while I was with someone that she
mentioned to me and to the others in the group that if we couldn't
be nuns like the discalced, it would still be possible to found a
monastery.5 Since I was having these desires, I began to
discuss the matter with that lady companion of mine,6 the
widow I mentioned, who had the same desires. She began to
draw up plans to provide the new house with income. Now I
see that there was little chance these plans would succeed, but
our desire made us think they would. Yet since, on the other
hand, I was so perfectly content in the house in which I was7
because it was very much to my liking and the cell in which I
lived was just what I wanted, I was still delaying. Nevertheless,
we agreed to pray fervently to God over the matter.
1 1 . One day after Communion, His Majesty earnestly com-
manded me to strive for this new monastery with all my powers,
and He made great promises that it would be founded and that
He would be highly served in it. He said it should be called St.
Joseph and that this saint would keep watch over us at one door,
and our Lady at the other, that Christ would remain with us,
and that it would be a star shining with great splendor. He said
that even though religious orders were mitigated one shouldn't
think He was little served in them; He asked what would become
of the world if it were not for religious and said that I should
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 32
281
tell my confessor" whar He commanded, that He was asking
him not to go against this or hinder me from doing it.
12. This vision had such great effects, and this locution the
Lord granted was of such a nature, that I couldn't doubt it was
from God. I felt the severest pain because on the one hand the
terrible disturbances and trials the new monastery would cost
me were partly represented to me, and on the other hand I was
very happy in my own monastery. Although I had been discuss-
ing it before, I hadn't done so with as much determination or
certitude as was necessary to bring it about. These words seemed
to compel me, and since I saw I would be starting something
that would disturb my calm, I was doubtful about what to do.
But often the Lord returned to speak to me about this new
monastery, presenting me with so many clear reasons and
arguments that I saw it was His will, and I could no longer help
but tell my confessor. I told him in writing all that happened.9
13. He didn't dare tell me definitely to forget about the new
monastery; but he was aware that it wasn't feasible from the view-
point of natural reason since my companion who was the one
who would have had to provide for the foundation had little or
almost no possible means for it. He told me to discuss it with
my superior and to do what the superior advised. I didn't discuss
these visions with the superior, but that lady who wanted to found
this monastery spoke with him. The provincial10 assented very
readily, for he is fond of all religious life, and he gave all the
necessary support and told her that he would accept that house
under his jurisdiction. They discussed the income it would have
to have, and for many reasons we never desired that it would
have more than thirteen nuns.11
Before we began to discuss it, we wrote to the holy friar Peter
of Alcantara about everything that was happening. He counseled
us not to fail to make the foundation, and he gave us his opinion
about it all.
14. Hardly had the knowledge of it begun to spread throughout
the city when the great persecution that cannot be briefly de-
scribed came upon us: gossip, derision, saying that it was foolish-
ness. As for me, they said I was well off in my own monastery;
with regard to my companion, there was so much persecution
282
St. Teresa of Avila
that she became very upset. I didn't know what to do; it seemed
to me they were partly right. While thus very wearied and recom-
mending myself to God, His Majesty began to console and en-
courage me. He told me that in this I would see what the saints
who had founded religious orders had suffered, that I would have
to suffer much more persecution than I could imagine, and that
we shouldn't let it bother us. He told me some things to tell my
companion, and, what I marvelled at most, we were immediately
consoled about what happened and were left with the courage
to withstand all. Indeed, among people of prayer and, in fact,
throughout the whole city there was hardly a person who was
not then against us; the project seemed to almost everyone to
be a lot of nonsense.
15. There was so much talk and such an outcry in my own
monastery that the provincial thought it would be imprudent
to go against all; so he changed his mind and didn't want to ac-
cept the foundation under his jurisdiction. He said the income
was not secure, that it was small, and that there was strong op-
position; and, all things considered, it seems he was right. Finally,
he abandoned the project and refused to accept it. For us who,
it seemed, had already received the first blows, the refusal was
most painful; especially in my case, it was painful to see the pro-
vincial opposed to it; had he accepted it, I'd have been excused
by all. As for my companion, they didn't want to give her
absolution unless she gave up the idea, because they said she
was obliged to remove the scandal.
16. She went to a most learned man, a very great servant of
God of the order of St. Dominic, to tell him about it and give
him an account of everything.12 She did this even before the
provincial had withdrawn his permission, for in the entire place
there was no one who wanted to give us an opinion; and thus
it was said to be just one of our own whims. This lady told the
holy man about everything and of the income she had from her
estate. She had a strong desire that he would help us because
he was the most learned man in the city at that time and there
were few in his order more learned than he. I told him all we
were thinking of doing and some of the reasons. I didn't say
anything about any revelation but mentioned only the natural
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 32
283
reasons that urged me, for I didn't want him to give any opinion
other than one in reply to these reasons. He told us to give him
a period of eight days to answer and asked if we were determined
to do what he would tell us. I told him we were. But even though
I told him this and it seems to me I would have done so (although
at that time I didn't see any other way of going forward with
the project), never did the assurance leave me that the founda-
tion would be made. My companion had more faith; she never
for anything they said to her decided to abandon it.
17. Yet, as I say, I thought it would be impossible to give up
the project. I believed that since it didn't go against Sacred
Scripture or against the laws of the Church, which we are obliged
to keep, the revelation was true. Although the undertaking really
seemed to me to be from God, if that learned man had told me
we couldn't do it without offending God and that we were doing
something against the demands of a good conscience, I think
I would have immediately given it up or sought another means.
But the Lord didn't give me any other than this one.
This servant of God told me afterward that he had taken it
upon himself and was fully determined to insist that we give up
the foundation, for he had already heard news about the public
outcry; also it seemed to him as it did to everyone to be foolish.
And he went on that when a certain gentleman had learned we
had gone to him, that gentleman informed him to be careful and
not help us. But then when he began to consider how he would
answer us and to think about the matter and our intention and
our plan of religious life, he felt assured it would be very much
in the service of God and that we shouldn't fail to go ahead with
it. So he answered us that we should hurry to bring the project
to a conclusion, and he mentioned the manner and way in which
it should be done. He said that although the estate was small,
one had to trust in God about something, that anyone who would
oppose the plan should come to him and that he would answer;
in this way he always helped us, as I shall say afterward.13
18. We were very consoled by his reply. On account of his
help some holy persons who were usually opposed to us were
more satisfied; and some helped us. Among them was the holy
gentleman14 whom I already mentioned, who because he real-
284
St. Teresa of Avila
ly was holy and it seemed to him that our plan bore promise
of great perfection, since our whole basis for wanting to carry
it out was prayer — although the means seemed to him very dif-
ficult and impractical — he gave his opinion that it could be
something from God. It seemed the Lord Himself moved him
to this. And the Lord did the same to the Master, who is the
cleric,15 the servant of God I mentioned I had spoken to before,
and who is an example to the entire city. He is a person whom
God keeps there as a help and advantage for many souls, and
now he agreed to help me in the project. Being at this juncture,
always having the help of many prayers, and having already
bought the house in a good section, I didn't worry about it be-
ing small. The Lord had told me to get started as best I could,
that afterward I would see what His Majesty would do. 16 And
how well I have seen it! Thus, though I knew the income was
small, I believed the Lord would help us and arrange things
through other means.
Chapter 33
Continues on the same subject, about the foundation dedicated to the glorious
St. Joseph. Tells how she was ordered not to become involved with the
project, of the time she abandoned it, of some trials she had, and of how
the Lord consoled her.
NOW THEN, WHEN THE BUSINESS matters had
reached this state and were at such a point that in another
day the deeds were to be drawn up and the matter concluded,
our Father Provincial changed his mind.1 I believe this was
providential, as it appeared to be afterward. Since the prayers
were so many, the Lord was perfecting the work and ordaining
that it be done in another way. Because my provincial didn't
want to receive the house under his jurisdiction, my confessor2
ordered me not to be involved with the foundation any more —
although the Lord knows the great trials and afflictions it had
cost me to bring the project to that state. Even though my pro-
vincial had ordered me to do what I had done thus far, the con-
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 33
285
viction became greater that it was all the foolishness of women —
and the criticism of me increased — when the endeavor was aban-
doned in this way.
2. I was very much disliked throughout my monastery5
because I had wanted to found a more enclosed monastery. They
said I was insulting them; that in my own monastery I could
also serve God since there were others in it better than I; that
I had no love for the house; that it would be better to procure
income for this place than for some other. Several of them said
I should be thrown into the prison cell;4 others — very few —
defended me somewhat. I saw clearly that in many matters my
opponents were right, and sometimes I gave them explanations.
Yet since I couldn't mention the main factor, which was that
the Lord had commanded me to do this, I didn't know how to
act; so I remained silent about the other things. God granted
me the very great favor that none of all this disturbed me; rather,
I gave up the plan with as much ease and contentment as I would
have if it hadn't cost me anything. No one could believe this,
not even the very persons of prayer who knew me. They thought
I was very afflicted and ashamed; even my own confessor couldn't
believe it. As for myself, since it seemed to me I had done
everything I could, I thought I wasn't obliged to do what the
Lord had commanded me; and I remained in the house, for I
was very satisfied and pleased there. Although I could never stop
believing that the foundation would come about, I no longer saw
the means, nor did I know how or when; but I was very certain
that it would.
3. What caused me great anguish was something my confessor
once wrote to me. It was as though I had done something against
his will. (The Lord also must have desired that in that area which
would be most painful to me I wouldn't be lacking a trial.) So
in the midst of this multitude of persecutions, when I thought
comfort would be coming from him, he wrote me that I should
now be able to see from what had happened that the project had
been all a dream, that I should make amends from then on by
not desiring to go out for anything or to speak any more about
it, since I had seen the scandal that had occurred; and he men-
tioned other things, all of them giving me pain. What he said
286
St. Teresa of Avila
grieved me more than everything else put together, since it
seemed to me that if I had been an occasion or had been at fault
for some offense against God, and that if these visions had been
an illusion, all the prayer I had experienced was self-deception,
and that I was being misled and going astray. This made me
so extremely distressed I was thrown into complete confusion
and severely afflicted. But the Lord, who never failed me, who
in all these trials I enumerated often consoled and fortified me —
there is no reason to mention it all specifically here — then told
me not to be anxious; that I had served God a great deal and
had not offended Him in that project; that I should do what my
confessor ordered me to do by being silent for the present, until
it would come time to return to the task. I was left so consoled
and happy that the persecution hanging over me seemed to be
all nothing.
4. In this way the Lord taught me what a tremendous good
it is to suffer trials and persecutions for Him. For the increase
of love of God I saw in my soul and many other things reached
such a point that I was amazed; and this makes me unable to
stop desiring trials. The other persons thought I was very
ashamed; and yes, I would have been if the Lord hadn't favored
me to such an extreme with so marvelous a gift. Then the im-
pulses of love of God that I mentioned5 began to grow in in-
tensity, and the raptures became greater, although I remained
silent and didn't mention these gains. The holy Dominican
friarb still thought it certain, as I did, that the foundation
would be made. Since I didn't want to get involved in it so as
not to go against obedience to my confessor, he conferred about
the matter with my companion; and they wrote to Rome to start
negotiating for it.
5. Likewise the devil began striving here through one person
and another to make known that I had received some revela-
tion about this work. Some persons came to me with great fear
to tell me we were in trouble and that it could happen that others
might accuse me of something and report me to the Inquisitors.
This amused me and made me laugh, for I never had any fear
of such a possibility. If anyone were to see that I went against
the slightest ceremony of the Church in a matter of faith, I myself
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 33
287
knew well that I would die a thousand deaths for the faith or
for any truth of Sacred Scripture. And I said they shouldn't be
afraid about these possible accusations; that it would be pretty
bad for my soul if there were something in it of the sort that
I should have to fear the Inquisition; that I thought that if I did
have something to fear I'd go myself to seek out the Inquisitors;
and that if I were accused, the Lord would free me, and I would
be the one to gain. I discussed this with my Dominican Father
who, as I say, was so learned I was able to feel fully assured
with what he told me. I told him then as clearly as I could about
all the visions and my manner of prayer and the great favors
the Lord granted me. I begged him to consider my prayer very
carefully and tell me if there was something opposed to Sacred
Scripture and what he felt about it all. He assured me very much,
and, in my opinion, it benefited him. For although he was very
good, from then on he dedicated himself much more to prayer
and withdrew to a monastery of his order where there was much
solitude so that he could practice prayer better.7 He remained
there more than two years, but then obedience drew him out —
which he felt keenly — since, on account of the kind of person
he was, they needed him.
6. To a certain extent, because of the great loss this was to
me, I felt it very much when he went away, although I didn't
try to prevent him. But I understood what he gained; for when
I was very troubled about his leaving, the Lord told me I should
be consoled and not troubled, that he was being well guided.
His soul improved so much in that place, and he made such
spiritual progress, that he told me, when he came back, that he
wouldn't have given up going there for anything in the world.
And I, too, was able to agree because previously he assured me
and consoled me only by his learning, but now he did so also
through his spiritual experience, for he was receiving a number
of supernatural experiences. And God brought him at the time
that His Majesty saw there was need for help in the work of
founding this monastery which His Majesty desired.
7. Well, for five or six months I remained in this silence, not
becoming involved in or speaking of this matter, and the Lord
never commanded me to do so. I didn't understand why, but
288
St. Teresa of Avila
I couldn't get it out of my mind that the foundation would be
accomplished. At the end of this period, when the rector of the
house of the Society of Jesus was transferred, His Majesty
brought here another very spiritual one who had great courage
and understanding and a good background in studies,8 and at
a time when I was in dire need. For since he who was my con-
fessor had a superior, and members of the Society have this virtue
to the extreme that they will not stir unless what they do is in
conformity with their superior's will, he didn't dare, for suffi-
cient reasons that he had, come to a decision about some things,
although he understood my spirit well and desired that it make
much progress. And now my spirit was moving with such great
impulses of love that it felt very keenly its bondage; nevertheless,
it didn't venture beyond what he commanded me.
8. One day, while I was greatly troubled with the thought that
my confessor didn't believe me, the Lord told me not to be
anxious, that that affliction would soon end. I rejoiced deeply,
thinking His words meant I was soon to die; and I became very
happy when I thought about it. Afterward, I saw clearly they
referred to the arrival of this rector I mentioned because the
occasion for that pain never presented itself again. The new rector
didn't restrain my confessor, but rather told him to console me;
that there was no reason for fear, and not to lead me by so con-
fining a path; that he should let the spirit of the Lord work, for
at times it seemed with these great spiritual impulses that my
soul couldn't even breathe.
9. This new rector came to see me. My confessor ordered me
to speak to him in all freedom and clarity. I usually felt the
greatest aversion toward speaking about myself. Thus it hap-
pened that when I entered the confessional, I felt in my spirit
I don't know what that I never recall having felt with anyone,
neither before nor afterward; nor would I be able to describe
what this experience was, or draw any comparisons. For it was
a spiritual joy and understanding within my soul that his soul
would understand mine and that mine would be in harmony
with his; although, as I say, I don't know how such an experience
was possible. For if I had spoken with him or had heard en-
thusiastic reports about him, it wouldn't have been a great thing
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 33
289
to experience joy in knowing he would understand me. But he
hadn't spoken one word to me, nor I any to him, nor was he
anyone of whom I had any previous knowledge. Afterward I
saw that my spirit was not deceived, for in every way it did me
and my soul great good to speak with him. His attitude is very
suited to persons whom it seerns the Lord has already brought
very far along, for he makes them run rather than walk with
measured step. His method is to detach them from everything
and to mortify them, for the Lord has given him the most
remarkable talent for doing this, as well as for many other things.
10. At the time of my initial conversations with him I im-
mediately understood his style and saw that his soul was a pure
and holy one and that he had a special gift from the Lord for
discerning spirits. He consoled me very much. A little while after
I had got to know him, the Lord began again to urge me to take
up once more the matter of the monastery and to give my con-
fessor and this rector many reasons and arguments why they
shouldn't impede me from the work. Some of these reasons made
them fear because this Father Rector never doubted the project
was from the spirit of God, for through much study and care
he considered all the consequences. After much reflection they
didn't dare venture to hinder me from carrying out this work.
1 1 . My confessor gave me permission again to dedicate myself
entirely to this foundation. I saw clearly the toil it would bring
upon me since I was very much alone and had hardly any means.
We agreed to carry on in total secrecy, and so I got one of my
sisters9 who lived outside this city to buy the house and fix it
up, as though it were for herself, with money the Lord provided,
in certain ways, for its purchase. It would take long to recount
how the Lord was looking after it, for I took great care not to
do anything against obedience. But I knew that if I said anything
to my superiors, everything would be lost as happened the
previous time, and things would even be worse. In procuring
the money, acquiring the house, signing the contract for it, and
fixing it up, I went through so many trials of so many kinds that
now I'm amazed I was able to suffer them. In some of them I
was completely alone; although my companion did what she
could. But she could do little, and so little that it almost amounted
290
St. Teresa of Avila
to nothing more than to have everything done in her name and
as her gift and all the rest of the trouble was mine. Sometimes
in distress I said: "My Lord, how is it You command things that
seem impossible? For if I were at least free, even though I am
a woman! But bound on so many sides, without money or the
means to raise it or to obtain the brief or anything, what can
I do, Lord?"
12. Once when in need, for I didn't know what to do or how
to pay some workmen, St. Joseph, my true father and lord, ap-
peared to me and revealed to me that I would not be lacking,
that I should hire them. And so I did, without so much as a
penny, and the Lord in ways that amazed those who heard about
it provided for me.10 The house struck me as being very small;
so small that it didn't seem to be adequate for a monastery, and
I wanted to buy another house next to it, which was also small,
to serve as the church. I had no means or way of buying this
nor did I know what to do. And one day after Communion, the
Lord said to me: "I've already told you11 to enter as best you
can." And by way of exclamation He added: "Oh, covetousness
of the human race, that you think you will be lacking even
ground! How many times did I sleep in the open because I had
no place else!" I was astonished and saw that He was right. I
went to the little house and drew up plans and found that
although small it was perfect for a monastery, and I didn't bother
about buying more property. But I arranged to have it fixed
up so that it could be lived in — with everything left rough and
unpolished — and likewise so that it would not be harmful to
health. And this is the way these things should be done always.
13. On her feastday,12 while I was going to Communion, St.
Clare appeared to me with striking beauty. She told me to take
courage and to continue on with what I had begun, that she
would help me. I became very devoted to her; and what she said
has indeed come true, for a nearby monastery of nuns of her
order helps sustain us.13 What is more important is that little
by little she brought this desire of mine to such perfection that
the poverty the blessed saint practiced in her house is practiced
in this one, and we are living on alms. For it had cost me no
small amount of trouble that this observance of poverty would
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 33
291
have all the backing and authority of the Holy Father behind
it so that no one could change it and that there never be any
income. And the Lord does more, and it must perhaps be through
the prayers of this blessed saint, for without any request His
Majesty fully provides what is necessary for us. May He be
blessed forever, amen.
14. On one of these same days, the feast of the Assumption
of our Lady while at a monastery of the order of the glorious
St. Dominic,14 I was reflecting upon the many sins I had in the
past confessed in that house and many things about my wretched
life. A rapture came upon me so great that it almost took me
out of myself. I sat down; it still seems to me I couldn't see the
elevation or hear Mass, and afterward I had a scruple about this.
It seemed to me while in this state that I saw myself vested in
a white robe of shining brightness, but at first I didn't see who
was clothing me in it. Afterward I saw our Lady at my right
side and my father St. Joseph at the left, for they were putting
that robe on me. I was given to understand that I was now
cleansed of my sins. After being clothed and while experiencing
the most marvelous delight and glory, it seemed to me then that
our Lady took me by the hands. She told me I made her very
happy in serving the glorious St. Joseph, that I should believe
that what I was striving for in regard to the monastery would
be accomplished, that the Lord and those two would be greatly
served in it, that I shouldn't fear there would ever be any failure
in this matter even though the obedience which was to be given
was not to my liking, because they would watch over us, and
that her Son had already promised us He would be with us, that
as a sign that this was true she was giving me a jewel. It seemed
to me she placed around my neck a very beautiful golden necklace
to which was attached a highly valuable cross. This gold and
these stones are incomparably different from earthly ones. Their
beauty is very different from what is imaginable here below. And
the intellect cannot attain to an understanding of the nature of
the robe that the Lord desires to have represented, nor can one
imagine its whiteness; everything here on earth in comparison
is like a sketch made from soot, so to speak.
15. The beauty I saw in our Lady was extraordinary, although
292
St. Teresa of Avila
I didn't make out any particular details except the form of her
face in general and that her garment was of the most brilliant
white, not dazzling but soft. I didn't see the glorious St. Joseph
so clearly, although I saw indeed that he was there, as in the
visions I mentioned that are not seen.15 Our Lady seemed to
me to be a very young girl. They were with me a little while;
and I was in a state of wonderful glory and happiness, which
in my opinion I had never experienced and which I did not want
to see come to an end; then it seemed to me I saw them ascend
to heaven with a great multitude of angels. I was left in deep
loneliness, although so consoled and elevated and recollected in
prayer and moved to love that I remained some time without
being able to stir or speak, but almost outside myself. I was left
with a great impulse to be dissolved for God and with similar
effects. And everything happened in such a way that I could never
doubt, no matter how much I tried, that the vision was from
God. It left me very comforted and with great peace.
16. As for what the Queen of Angels said concerning obe-
dience,16 it pertained to the fact that it distressed me not to give
obedience to the order, but the Lord had told me it wasn't suitable
to give it to my superiors. He gave me the reasons why it would
in no way be fitting that I do so. But He told me I should peti-
tion Rome in a certain way, which He also indicated to me, and
that He would take care that we get our request. And so it came
about, for the petition was made the way the Lord told me and
it was granted easily, whereas we had been unable to obtain it.
Because of some things that happened afterward it was very for-
tunate the obedience was given to the bishop. But at that time
I wasn't acquainted with the prelate, nor did I know who he
would be. The Lord willed that he be an excellent one and that
he be strongly in favor of this house, as was necessary because
of the great opposition there was to it, as I shall say after-
ward,17 and in order that it be established in its present state.
May He be blessed who in this way did everything, amen.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 34
293
Chapter 34
Discusses how at this time it was opportune for her to leave the city. Tells
about the reason and how her superior ordered her to go to console a lady
of the nobility who was very distressed. Begins to deal with what happened
there and the great favor the Lord granted her in making her the means by
which He awakened a very eminent person to serve Him wholeheartedly,
and how afterward she had this persons support and favor. The chapter is
most important.
WELL NO MATTER HOW CAREFUL I was that this
work be secret, I couldn't keep it all so hidden that there
wouldn't be those persons who would find out about it; some
believed what they heard, others didn't. I feared a great deal
that if someone should tell the provincial when he came, he would
order me not to continue; and immediately the whole thing would
have to stop. The Lord provided in this way. It happened that
in a large city, more than twenty leagues from here, a lady was
very grieved because of the death of her husband. Her distress
had reached such an extreme that they feared for her health.1
She had heard news about this little sinner, for the Lord had
so arranged matters that for the sake of other blessings that would
follow they spoke highly to her about me. This lady was well
acquainted with the provincial, and since she was a person of
the nobility and knew I was in a monastery where the nuns were
allowed to go out, the Lord gave her a strong, irresistible desire
to see me; she thought I would be able to console her. She im-
mediately tried by every means she could to bring me there, and
to this effect sent a message to the provincial who was far away.
He sent me an order, under precept of obedience, to go im-
mediately with another companion. I learned of it on Christmas
eve . 2
2 . It caused me some disturbance and a lot of affliction to know
that she wanted to bring me there because she thought there was
some good in me, for since I knew I was so wretched I couldn't
bear such a thought. Praying to God very earnestly about this,
I spent all of Matins, or a great part of it, in a deep rapture.
The Lord told me to go and not listen to opinions, because few
294
St. Teresa of Avila
would counsel me prudently; that even though I would have
trials, God would be greatly served; that for the business con-
cerning the monastery it was fitting I be absent until the brief
arrive because the devil had set up a cunning plot for when the
provincial would return; that I shouldn't fear anything; that He
would help me there. I was very much strengthened and con-
soled. I told the rector about it. He told me I should by no means
fail to go. For others told me that I shouldn't abide by the pro-
vincial's letter, that it was the invention of the devil so that some
harm could come to me there; that I should write back to the
provincial.
3. I obeyed the rector, and with what I had learned in prayer
I went without fear, although not without sheer embarrassment
in considering the title under which they were bringing me there
and how much they were being deceived. This made me beg
the Lord more that He not abandon me. I was very consoled
that there was a house of the Society of Jesus in that city where
I was going3 and that by submitting to their orders as I did
here I would, I thought, have some security. It pleased the Lord
that that lady was so comforted she soon began to improve
noticeably, and each day she found herself more at ease. She
valued this improvement highly because, as I said,4 the suffer-
ing had weighed on her heavily. And the Lord must have done
this through the many prayers good persons I knew offered in
order that things would turn out well for me. She was very God-
fearing and so good that her abundant Christian spirit supplied
for what was lacking in me. She grew deeply fond of me. I
esteemed her very much in observing her goodness. But almost
everything was a cross for me because the comforts caused me
great torment, and I was very fearful about the big fuss made
over me. My soul was so dispirited I didn't dare grow negligent,
nor did the Lord neglect me; while I was there He granted me
the most wonderful favors. These gave me such freedom and
made me so despise all that I saw — and the greater the favors,
the greater the contempt — that I conversed with those noble
ladies, whom it would have been an honor for me to serve, with
the freedom I would have felt had I been their equal.
4. I derived a very beneficial insight, and I told her about
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 34
295
it. I realized that she was a woman and as subject to passions
and weaknesses as I, and how little should be our esteem for
the status of nobility, and that the greater the nobility the more
the cares and trials. I observed the solicitude they had for preserv-
ing their composure in conformity with this status, which doesn't
allow them to live, obliging them to eat without rhyme or reason
because everything must be done in accordance with their status
and not with their bodily constitution. (They have often to eat
food that is more in harmony with their position than with their
liking.) As a result I totally abhorred any desire to become a
lady of the nobility — God deliver me from faulty composure! —
even though I believe there are few women more humble or of
greater simplicity than this lady who is one of the most noble
in the kingdom. I pitied her and felt it when I saw how often
she had to go against her inclination in order to fulfill the duties
of her state. As for the servants, what they can be trusted with
amounts to little, even though she had good ones. You dare not
speak to one more than to the other, or else the one you favor
will be disliked by the others. This is a kind of subservience that
makes calling such persons "lords" one of the world's lies, for
it doesn't seem to me they are anything but slaves to a thousand
things.
5. The Lord was pleased that while I stayed at that house the
persons who lived in it improved in their service of His Majesty,
although I wasn't free of some trials and some envy on the part
of a few because of the great love that lady had for me. They
perhaps must have thought I was aiming after some personal
advantage. The Lord most probably allowed them to provide
me with some trials and similar things as well as other things
of another kind so that I wouldn't be charmed by the comfort
I likewise experienced, and He was pleased to draw me out of
it all with improvement for my soul.
6. While I was there it happened that a certain religious came
to that city, a person from the nobility with whom I had some-
times conversed many years previously.5 Once, when attending
Mass at a monastery of his order near the place where I was
staying, there came over me a desire to know the condition of
his soul since I wanted him to be a great servant of God; and
296
St. Teresa of Avila
I rose to go to speak to him. Since I was already recollected in
prayer, it seemed to me after I got up that it was a waste of time,
and I wondered why I should meddle, and returned to my seat.
It seems to me that this happened three times, and finally, the
good angel was more powerful than the bad; I went to call him,
and he came to speak with me in the confessional. We began
to question each other — for it was many years since we had met —
about our lives. I began to tell him I had experienced many trials
of soul. He strongly urged me to tell him what the trials were.
I told him they were not meant to be known nor was it meant
that I should speak of them. He said that since the Dominican
Father I mentioned — 6who was a great friend of his — knew
about them he would find out from him and that I shouldn't
worry about it.
7. The fact is that neither was it in his power to stop pressing
me nor was it in mine, it seems to me, to resist speaking about
them. For despite all the displeasures and shame I usually felt
when I spoke about these things, I didn't feel any pain with him
or with the rector I mentioned;7 rather, I was very much con-
soled. I told him about them under the seal of confession. He
seemed to me wiser than ever, although I always thought he had
a great mind. I considered the wonderful talents and gifts he
had for doing much good, were he to give himself totally to God.
I've experienced this for some years: as soon as I see a person
who greatly pleases me, with longings I sometimes cannot bear,
I want to see him give himself totally to God. And although I
desire that all serve God, the longings come with very great
impulses in the case of these persons I like; so I beg the Lord
very much on their behalf. With the religious I'm speaking of,
it so happened to me.
8. He asked me to pray earnestly to God for him, but he had
no need to ask since I was already of such a mind that I couldn't
have done otherwise. I went to the place where I usually prayed
alone and, being deeply recollected, began to talk to the Lord
in a foolish way, which I often do without knowing what I'm
saying. It is love that is then speaking, and the soul is so
transported that I don't notice the difference there is between
it and God. Love that knows it possesses His Majesty forgets
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 34
297
the soul and thinks it is in Him and, as one without division,
speaks absurdities. I recall that after having begged Him with
many tears for that soul, that it be truly committed to His service,
I said that even though I considered him good this didn't satisfy
me, since I wanted him to be very good; and so I said to His
Majesty: "Lord, You must not deny me this favor; see how this
individual is fit to be our friend."
9. O goodness and great humanity of God! You don't look
at the words but at the desires and the will with which they are
spoken! How do You bear that one like myself should speak so
boldly to Your Majesty! May You be blessed forever and ever.
10. I recall that in those hours of prayer that night there came
over me a great affliction in wondering whether I was at enmity
with God. Since I couldn't know whether I was in grace or not
(not that I wanted to know, but that I desired to die so as not
to find myself in a life where I wasn't sure whether or not I was
dead — for there couldn't have been a more grievous death for
me than to wonder whether I had offended God), this pain op-
pressed me. All overflowing and dissolved in tears, I begged God
not to permit me to be without grace. Then I understood that
I could truly be consoled and certain that I was in grace because
a love of God like this, and those favors and sentiments His
Majesty gave me, could not exist harmoniously with a soul in
mortal sin. I remained confident the Lord would grant what I
begged of Him for this person. He told me some words to tell
him. I greatly disliked doing this because I didn't know how to
say them. This matter of giving a message to a third party, as
I said,8 is what I always dislike most; especially in this case
since I didn't know how the person would take it, or if he would
make fun of me. I got very distressed about it. Finally, I became
so persuaded that I believe I promised God I wouldn't fail to
tell this person; because of my great embarrassment, I put the
words in writing and gave them to him.
1 1 . They indeed seemed to be from God on account of the
effect they had upon him. He resolved very sincerely to dedicate
himself to prayer, even though he didn't do so at once. Since
the Lord had wanted this person for Himself, He sent him some
truths by means of me, which, without my understanding them,
298
St. Teresa of Avila
were so apropos that they amazed him. And the Lord must have
disposed him to believe they were from His Majesty. I, although
wretched, begged the Lord intensely to convert this individual
to Himself completely, and to make him abhor the satisfactions
and things of life. Consequently — may God be praised forever! —
he turned to God so completely that every time he speaks to me,
I'm stupefied. If I hadn't seen it, I would have doubted that in
such a short time the favors would have so increased and he would
have been so occupied with God that he no longer seemed to
live for anything else on earth. May His Majesty protect him,
for if he continues to advance like this (which I hope in the Lord
he will since he is well grounded in self-knowledge), he will
become one of God's most distinguished servants for the great
benefit of many souls. Within a short time he has had much ex-
perience in spiritual things; these are gifts God gives when he
desires and how He desires, and they depend neither on time
nor on services. I do not mean that time and services are not
important, but often the contemplation the Lord doesn't give
to one in twenty years He gives to another in one. His Majesty
knows the reason. This is a mistake we make: we think that with
years we shall come to understand what in no way can be compre-
hended without experience. And so many are wrong, as I
said,9 in wanting to discern spirits without having experience.
I don't say that anyone who has not had spiritual experience,
provided he is a learned man, should not guide someone who
has. But he ought to limit himself to seeing to it that in both
exterior and interior matters the soul walks in conformity to the
natural way through the use .of reason; and in supernatural ex-
periences he should see that it walks in conformity with Sacred
Scripture. As for the rest he shouldn't kill himself or think he
understands what he doesn't, or suppress the spirit;10 for now,
in respect to the spirit, another greater Lord governs them; they
are not without a Superior.
12. Let him not be surprised or think these things are impos-
sible—everything is possible with the Lord — but strive to
strengthen his own faith and humble himself in that the Lord
makes a little old woman wiser, perhaps, in this science than
he is, even though he is a very learned man. With his humility
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 34
299
he will do more good for souls and for himself than by becom-
ing a contemplative without it. For I repeat that if he doesn't
have experience and a very great deal of humility in knowing
that he doesn't understand the experience, but that it's not im-
possible on that account, he will be of little profit to himself and
of still less profit to those with whom he deals. If he's humble,
he shouldn't fear that the Lord will allow either of them to be
deceived.
13. The Lord gave humility in many things to this Dominican
Father of whom I'm speaking. As a result this Father strove to
learn through study everything he could in this matter, for he
is a good scholar. And what he doesn't know through experience
he finds out from one who has it. Thus the Lord helps him by
giving him deep faith, and so this Father has himself profited
very much and has helped other souls; and mine is one of them.
It seems that, since His Majesty was about to call to Himself
some who were guiding me,11 He provided that there be others
to help me through difficult troubles and do me great good. The
Lord changed him almost completely, in such a way that he hard-
ly knew himself, so to speak; and the Lord gave him bodily
strength for penance (which he didn't have before, but was sickly),
and courage for everything good, and other things. It indeed
seems to have been a very particular call from the Lord. May
He be blessed forever.
14.1 believe all the good comes to this Father from the favors
the Lord granted him in prayer, for this good is not counterfeit.
Already in some things the Lord has desired that he be tried,
and he has come out of these trials as one who has already learned
about the merit gained in suffering persecutions. I hope in the
greatness of the Lord that through him much good will come
to some persons of his order and to the order itself. This is already
beginning to be known. I have seen great visions, and the Lord
has told me some highly admirable things about him and about
the rector of the Society of Jesus, whom I mentioned,12 and
about two other religious of the order of St. Dominic — especially
about one of them,13 for His Majesty has already made known
in deed some things having to do with his progress that I had
known previously. But of the one of whom I'm now speaking
300
St. Teresa of Avila
many things have been manifested to me.
15. Now I want to say one thing here: I was once with him
in a parlor and my soul and spirit came to such an understand-
ing of the great love of God that burned in his spirit that this
knowledge almost absorbed me, for I was considering the
grandeur of God who in so short a time had raised a soul to such
a high state. It made me very embarrassed because I saw him
listening with so much humility to some things I was saying about
prayer and saw that I had little of it to be speaking in such a
way with a person like this. The Lord must have suffered it
because of the strong desire I had to see this person far advanced.
It benefited me so much to be with him that it seems he left my
soul fired anew with the desire to serve the Lord from the begin-
ning. O my Jesus, what a soul inflamed in Your love ac-
complishes! How highly we must esteem such a soul and how
we must beg the Lord to let it remain in this life! Whoever has
this same love must follow after these souls if possible.
16. It is a wonderful thing when a sick person finds another
wounded with that same sickness; how great the consolation to
find you are not alone. The two become a powerful help to each
other in suffering and meriting. What excellent backing they
give to one another since they are determined to risk a thous-
and lives for God and they desire the opportunities for losing
them. They are like soldiers who want to make war in order to
capture the spoils and become rich; they have understood that
such riches cannot be acquired any other way. This is their duty:
to labor. Oh, what a great thing it is when the Lord gives this
light to understand the abundance that is gained in suffering
for Him! This isn't well understood until one abandons all for
Him. For those who rest in something show that they esteem
it; surely if they esteem it they will be sorry to give it up — and
already everything is going imperfectly and astray. The saying
fits well here that the lost go after what is lost. And what greater
perdition, greater blindness, greater misfortune than to cherish
that which is nothing?
17. Well, to return to what I was saying,14 while with thej
deepest joy I was contemplating that soul, it seems the Lord
wanted me to see clearly the treasures He had placed in it. See-
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 34
301
ing the favor He granted me in that He used me as a means —
though I found myself unworthy to be such — I had higher esteem
for the favors the Lord granted this soul and considered them
more my own than if they had been given to me. I praised His
Majesty upon seeing that He was fulfilling my desires and had
heard my prayer, which was that the Lord awaken persons like
these. My soul being then in such a state that it couldn't bear
so much joy, it went out of itself and was lost, so the more to
gain. The reflections were forgotten, and while I was hearing
that divine language in which it seems the Holy Spirit was speak-
ing, a powerful rapture came over me which almost made me
lose my senses, although it lasted only a short while. I saw Christ
with awesome majesty and glory showing great happiness over
what was taking place. Thus He told me and wanted me to see
clearly that He was always present in conversations like these
and how much He is pleased when persons so delight in speak-
ing of Him.
At another time, I saw this Father, when he was away from
this place, raised up by angels in great glory.15 Through this
vision I understood that his soul was making much progress.
Thus it happened that serious testimony against his honor was
given by a person for whom he had done much good by pro-
viding a remedy for this person's soul and own loss of honor.
He underwent this with great happiness, performed other works
of much service to God, and suffered other persecutions.
18. It doesn't seem to me fitting now to describe anything
more. If afterward, since you know about these things,16 your
Reverence should think it is indeed appropriate, they can be put
down for the glory of the Lord. What I said about the prophecies
concerning this house, and other prophecies I shall mention, as
well as other things, were all fulfilled. Some the Lord told me
three years before they came about — others more than three,
others less. I always told them to my confessor and to this widow
friend of mine whom I had permission to tell, as I said.17 I
have known that she has told them to other persons, and these
persons know I am not lying; nor may God ever permit me to
lie, for in no instance would I speak anything but the complete
truth — and how much more in matters so serious.
302
St. Teresa of Avila
19. When a brother-in-law of mine died suddenly18 and I
was deeply grieved because he hadn't had the chance to go to
confession, it was told to me in prayer that my sister would die
this way, that I should go to her and try to get her to prepare
herself for such an event. I told my confessor and since he didn't
allow me to go, I heard the message at other times. When he
learned of this, he told me to go there, and that there was nothing
to lose. She lived in a small village;19 I went and, without tell-
ing her about the locution, enlightened her as I could about
everything and got her to confess very frequently and in all events
to take care of her soul. She was very good and she did so. Within
four or five days after she had gained this habit and become very
conscientious, she died without seeing anyone or being able to
confess. Happily, since she had acquired the habit, little more
than eight days had passed since she had gone to confession.
News of her death brought me great joy. She remained a very
short while in purgatory. I don't think more than eight days
passed when the Lord appeared to me after I received Commu-
nion and wanted me to see how He brought her to glory. In
all those years from the time He told me until she died, I didn't
forget what had been made known to me, nor did my compa-
nion; as soon as my sister died, my companion came to me very
much amazed to see how the revelation had been fulfilled. May
God be praised forever who takes such care of souls so that they
be not lost.
Chapter 35
Continues on the same subject: the foundation of this house of our glorious
father St. Joseph. Tells of the means the Lord provided by which holy
poverty would be observed in it, the reason why she left the lady she was
staying with and returned, and of some other things that happened to her.
WELL, WHILE I WAS WITH this lady I mentioned,1
with whom I stayed more than a half year, the Lord or-
dained that a beata2 of our order who lived more than seventy
leagues from here should find out about me. She decided to come
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 35
303
here, making a detour of several leagues, to speak to me. The
Lord had inspired her the same year and month He did me to
found another monastery of this order. As soon as He gave her
this desire, she sold all that she had and walked to Rome barefoot
to get a patent for it.
2. She is a woman who practices much penance and prayer;
the Lord has granted her many favors, and our blessed Lady
appeared to her and ordered her to make the foundation. She
was so far ahead of me in serving the Lord that I was ashamed
to stand in her presence. She showed me the patent letters she
brought from Rome, and during the fifteen days she stayed with
me we arranged how we should go about founding these mona-
steries. Until I had spoken to her, it hadn't been brought to my
notice that our rule — before it was mitigated — ordered that we
own nothing, 5 nor had I been about to found the house without
an income. My intention had been that we have no worries about
our needs; I hadn't considered the many cares ownership of pro-
perty brings with it. Since the Lord had taught her, this holy
woman understood well, without knowing how to read, what
I, after having read over our constitutions so often, didn't know.
As she told me about it, it seemed to me to be right, although
I feared they wouldn't allow me, but say I was doing something
foolish and that I shouldn't do a thing that would make others
suffer on my account. Had I been alone it wouldn't have held
me back either little or much; rather, it would have been a great
pleasure for me to think I was keeping the counsels of Christ,
our Lord, since His Majesty had already given me great desires
for poverty. Thus I didn't doubt that poverty was the best thing
for me, because for a long time I had been desiring that it would
be possible for me to go begging for love of God and not have
a house or anything. But I feared that if the Lord didn't give
the others these desires, their lives would be unhappy. I also
feared that poverty would be the cause of some distraction since
I observed certain poor monasteries in which there wasn't much
recollection. I failed to reflect that this lack of recollection was
the cause of their being poor and that it was not the practice
of poverty that caused their distraction. For distraction won't
make monasteries richer; nor does God ever fail anyone who
304
St. Teresa of Avila
serves Him. In sum, I had weak faith, which was not true of
this servant of God.
3. Since I consulted in all things with so many, I nonetheless
found almost no one with this opinion, neither my confessor nor
the learned men with whom I dealt. They brought out so many
reasons against poverty that I didn't know what to do. Since I
knew it was in the rule and saw that observing poverty would
be more perfect, I couldn't persuade myself that the monastery
should have an income. And if sometimes they had me con-
vinced, when I returned to prayer and contemplating Christ on
the cross, so poor and so naked, I couldn't patiently accept the
idea of being rich. I tearfully begged Him to ordain things so
that I would see myself poor, as He was.
4. I found so many disadvantages in having an income and saw
it would be so great a cause of disquiet and even distraction that
I did nothing else but dispute with learned men. I wrote about
it to the Dominican religious4 who was helping us. He sent me
two pages with objections and theology written on both sides
on why I shouldn't do it, and he also told me he had studied
the matter very carefully. I answered him that I didn't want to
benefit from theology if it wasn't conducive to my following my
vocation, my vow of poverty, and the counsels of Christ with
total perfection, and that in this case he did me no favor with
his learning. If I found some person who would help me, I
became very happy. That lady with whom I was staying' was
a great help to me in this matter. Some told me in the begin-
ning that the idea seemed to them good; afterward, as they began
to reflect about it, they found so many disadvantages that they
returned to insist on my not carrying it out. I told them that,
since they were so quick to change their opinion, I preferred
to follow the first.
5. At this time, since this lady hadn't seen the holy Friar Peter
of Alcantara, the Lord was pleased through my entreaties that
he come to her house. Because he was a true lover of poverty
and had practiced it for so many years, he knew well the riches
that lay within it; so he helped me a great deal and ordered that
I should by no means fail to go through with my plan.() With
this favorable opinion from one who could give the best opinion
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 35
305
since he had known about poverty through wide experience, I
made up my mind not to go looking for other opinions.
6. One day while praying intensely to God about this matter,
the Lord told me I shouldn't in any way fail to found the
monastery in poverty, that this was both the will of His Father
and His own, that He would help me. This took place during
a deep rapture with so many remarkable effects that I couldn't
have any doubt the desire was from God.
Another time He told me an income would cause disturbance
of mind, and added other things in favor of poverty, assuring
me that whoever would observe it would not lack the necessities
of life; this lack, as I say, I never feared for myself. The Lord
also changed the heart of the presentado,7 I mean of the
Dominican I mentioned who had written to me that I shouldn't
found the monastery without income. I was very happy to hear
this then and to have these opinions. It seemed to me I possessed
all the world's riches in resolving to live by the love of God.
7. At this time, since there was going to be an election in my
monastery, my provincial8 lifted his command and the obe-
dience he had placed me under to stay with this lady, and he
left it up to me to choose whether to return or to remain with
her for awhile. Some sent me the news that many wanted to give
me the charge of being superior. Merely to think of such a thing
was a terrible torment. Whereas I was determined to suffer easily
any martyrdom for God, by no artifice could I persuade myself
to suffer this one. Besides the great amount of work (there were
many nuns)9 and other reasons for which I never liked the
thought of having any office, it seemed to me that being superior
would be very dangerous for my conscience; so I praised God
I wasn't there. I wrote to my friends not to vote for me.
8. While I was very happy that I wasn't in the midst of all
that clatter, the Lord told me I should by no means fail to go,
that since I desired the cross a good one was ready for me, that
I shouldn't reject it, that I ought to go with courage, that He
would help me, and that I must go right away. I became very
disturbed and didn't do anything but weep, for I thought the
cross meant I would be elected superior; and, as I say, I couldn't
be persuaded that such an office would be any good for my
306
St. Teresa of Avila
soul — nor did I find in myself the qualifications. I gave an ac-
count of all to my confessor. He told me I should thus try to
go, that it would be clearly the more perfect thing to do, and
that since it was very hot it would be sufficient for me to be there
for the election, and that I could wait some days before going
so as not to get sick from the journey. But the Lord had ordained
otherwise, and so things came about.
Interiorly I was extremely restless, and I couldn't practice
prayer. It seemed to me I was failing to do what the Lord had
commanded me and that, since I was in that place to my own
liking and pleasure, I didn't want to go to offer myself to the
trial; that I was all words with God and that, since I could be
there where it would be more perfect for me to be, I had to ask
why I was failing to go; that if I should die, I should die! Along
with all this went a constriction of soul, and the Lord took away
all satisfaction in prayer. In sum, I was in such a state and so
severely tormented that I asked that lady to be good enough to
let me go. Already my confessor — since he saw me in this state —
had told me to go, for God likewise moved him as He did me.
9. She so regretted my leaving her that her sorrow was another
torment for me. It had cost her very much, many kinds of urgent
pleas, to get permission from the provincial to have me with her.
Thus it was a most difficult thing for her to let me go, and she
felt it keenly. But since she was very God-fearing and I told her,
in addition to many other things, that my going could render
God great service, and I gave her the hope it would be possible
for me to return to see her, she accepted the fact of my leaving —
although regretfully.
10. I no longer was sorry to go; once I understood it was
something more perfect and that it would render greater ser-
vice to God, by means of the happiness it gives me to please
Him, I was able to endure the pain of leaving that lady who
I saw felt the separation so deeply and other persons whom I
owed a great deal, especially my confessor, who was from the
Society of Jesus,10 and with whom I got along very well. But
the more I saw I was losing consolation for the Lord's sake, the
happier I became at losing it. I couldn't understand how this
was possible, because I saw clearly these two contraries: my being
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 35
307
pleased and consoled and happy over what weighed upon my
soul. For I had been consoled and at peace there and had found
time for many hours of prayer. I saw I was about to place myself
in a fire, for the Lord had already told me11 I was going to
undergo a great cross, although I never thought it would be as
great as I afterward found out it was. Nonetheless, I was happy
in going; and since the Lord had desired me to go, I was dis-
turbed that I hadn't entered the battle immediately. Thus His
Majesty sent strength and placed it in the midst of my weakness.
1 1 . I wasn't able, as I say, to understand how these contraries
were possible. I thought of this comparison: Were I to possess
a jewel, or something else that gave me great happiness, and
then to find out that one whom I loved and wanted to please
more than myself desired that object, my happiness in going
without it would be greater than in possessing it if I made that
other person happy. And because the happiness in pleasing the
other would surpass my first happiness, it would take away any
pain I might feel in the lack of the jewel, or of the thing cher-
ished, or in losing the happiness it gave me. Thus, though I
wanted to feel distress upon seeing that I was leaving persons
from whom I so much regretted being separated (and I am by
nature so grateful that at another time this would have been
enough to cause me deep affliction), now, even though I wanted
to feel it, I couldn't.
12. It was so important, as regards the business of this holy
house, for me not to have delayed a day longer that I don't know
how I might have brought things to a conclusion if I had then
stayed on there. O greatness of God! Often I am amazed when
I consider how particularly His Majesty wanted to help me found
this little dwelling corner for God. I believe this is what it is;
it is an abode in which His Majesty delights, for He once said
to me while I was in prayer that this house12 was a paradise of
delight for Him. And thus it seems His Majesty has selected the
souls He has brought to this monastery. I live in their company
very, very much ashamed. I wouldn't have known how to desire
for this purpose souls such as these; so austere, poor, and prayer-
ful. And they bear this austerity with a joy and happiness that
makes each one feel unworthy to have deserved to come to a
308
St. Teresa of Avila
place like this. There are some, especially, whom the Lord called
out of a world of much vanity and ostentation where they could
have been satisfied in conformity with its laws. And the Lord
has so doubled their joys in this house that they realized clearly
He has given them a hundred joys for every one they left.M
And they can't get enough of thanking His Majesty. With others,
He has changed what was good into something better. To those
who are young He gives fortitude and knowledge so that they
are unable to desire anything else, and they understand that to
be detached from all the things of life is to live in the greatest
calm, even in regard to earthly things. To those who are older
and have poor health He gives strength, and He gives them the
power to bear the austerity and penance the others do.
13. O my Lord, how obvious it is that You are almighty!
There's no need to look for reasons for what You want. For,
beyond all natural reason, You make things so possible that You
manifest clearly there's no need for anything more than truly
to love You and truly to leave all for You, so that You, my Lord,
may make everything easy. It fits well here to say that You feign
labor in Your law. For I don't see, Lord, nor do I know how
the road that leads to You is narrow.14 I see that it is a royal
road, not a path; a road that is safer for anyone who indeed takes
it. Very far off are the occasions of sin, those narrow mountain
passes and the rocks that make one fall. What I would call a
path, a wretched path and a narrow way, is the kind which has
on one side, where a soul can fall, a valley far below, and on
the other side a precipice: as soon as one becomes careless one
is hurled down and broken into pieces.
14. They who really love You, my Good, walk safely on a
broad and royal road. They are far from the precipice. Hardly
have they begun to stumble when You, Lord, give them Your
hand. One fall is not sufficient for a person to be lost, nor are
many, if they love You and not the things of the world. They
journey in the valley of humility. I cannot understand what it
is that makes people afraid of setting out on the road of perfec-
tion. May the Lord, because of who He is, give us understanding
of how wretched is the security that lies in such manifest dangers
as following the crowd and how true security lies in striving to
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 36
309
make progress on the road of God. Let them turn their eyes to
Him and not fear the setting of this Sun of Justice, nor, if we
don't first abandon Him, will He allow us to walk at night and
go astray.
15. They aren't afraid to walk among lions (by which I mean
whatever the world calls honors, delights, and similar pleasures)
where it seems each lion would want to tear off a piece of them;
and here on this road it seems the devil makes them afraid of
field mice. A thousand times do I marvel and ten thousand times
would I like to find satisfaction in bewailing and crying out to
everyone my great blindness and wickedness so that doing this
might help them open their eyes. May anyone who can, through
God's goodness, open them; and may He not permit me to
become blind, amen.
Chapter 36
Continues the same subject. Tells how this monastery of the glorious St.
Joseph was finally founded and of the strong opposition and persecution
the nuns had to undergo after taking the habit. Tells also of the great trials
and temptations she suffered and how the Lord brought her out of them
all victoriously to His own praise and glory.
ONCE I LEFT THAT CITY1 I journeyed very happily,
determined to undergo most willingly everything the Lord
desired. The very night I reached this city our patent and our
brief2 for the monastery arrived from Rome. I was amazed,
and, when they learned of the great need there was for my be-
ing here and of the coincidence the Lord had prepared for me,
so too were those who knew how He made me come quickly.
For I found here the bishop and the holy Friar Peter of Alcan-
tara and another gentleman, a very good servant of God,5 in
whose house this holy friar was staying; this gentleman was a
person in whom the servants of God found protection as well
as a welcome.
2. The two of them succeeded in getting the bishop to accept
310
St. Teresa of Avila
the monastery under his jurisdiction,4 which was no small
thing since the house was to be poor. But the bishop was so fond
of persons whom he saw determined to serve the Lord that he
soon grew fond of showing it his favor. And because this holy
old Friar Peter approved it and urged now some, now others,
to help us, it was he who did everything. If I hadn't by coin-
cidence come at this precise time — as I already mentioned — I
don't know how the monastery could have been founded. For
this saintly man was here only a little while (I don't believe as
many as eight days); he was very sick during them, and shortly
afterward the Lord brought him to Himself.1 It seems His
Majesty preserved him until this matter was taken care of because
for a long time — I don't know if it exceeded two years — he was
very sick.
3. Everything was done in deep secrecy; if it hadn't been,
nothing could have been accomplished since the people were op-
posed to the foundation, as became manifest afterward. The Lord
ordained that my brother- in-lawb become ill; since his wife was
not here and he was in such need, my superiors gave me per-
mission to stay with him. With this excuse nothing became
known, although some persons didn't fail to suspect something;
yet they didn't believe their suspicions. It was an amazing thing
that he wasn't any sicker than was necessary for the business
to be taken care of. When there was need that he get well so
that I could be free and that he could leave the house empty,
the Lord immediately brought this about; at which my brother-
in-law marvelled.
4. I had a lot of trouble with some persons at times — and with
others at other times — that the monastery be accepted. I had
trouble with my sick brother-in-law and with the workmen to
get them to convert the house into a monastery and make it ready
quickly, for there was still much to be done. Moreover, my
companion7 was not here; it seemed to us we could better con-
ceal what we were doing if she were absent. For many reasons
I was taking care that everything be done in a hurry; one of the
reasons for this was that I feared by the hour they would make
me return to my own monastery.8 There were so many trying
things that I wondered if this wasn't the cross;9 although it still
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 36
311
seemed to me small in comparison with the great cross I learned
from the Lord I would have to suffer.
5. When everything was ready the Lord was pleased that on
St. Bartholomew's day the habit was received by some10 and
the Blessed Sacrament was reserved, and with all due authority
and power our monastery of our most glorious father St. Joseph
was founded, in 1562. I, along with two other nuns from our
house who happened to be outside,11 was present at this
clothing. Since this house that was converted into a monastery
was the one in which my brother-in-law lived (for, as I said,12
he was the one who bought it in order to keep the project a better
secret), I was there with permission; and I hadn't done anything
without getting advice from learned men so as not to go one iota
against obedience. Since these learned men observed that for
many reasons the monastery would be very beneficial for the
whole order, they told me I could go ahead even though I did
so secretly and was careful that my superiors not find out about
it. If these learned men had told me an imperfection lay in what
I was doing, no matter how small, I would have given up found-
ing a thousand monasteries, how much more one. This is cer-
tain, for although I desired to withdraw more from everything
and live my profession and vocation with greater perfection and
enclosure, I desired this in such a way that if I had found out
it would have been of greater service to the Lord to abandon
the project, I would have done so with complete peace and calm,
as I did the other time.13
6. Well, with me it was like being in glory to see the Blessed
Sacrament reserved and that four poor orphans (for they didn't
bring any dowry)14 and four great servants of God (for this is
what I had in mind from the beginning, that persons would enter
who by their example of prayer and a very perfect life would
be a foundation upon which we could achieve our goal) would
give each other support; and to see a work accomplished that
I knew was for the service of the Lord and to the honor of the
habit of His glorious Mother — for these were my concerns. It
also consoled me to have done what the Lord had so often given
me the command to do; that there was another church in this
city, dedicated to my glorious father St. Joseph, in whose honor
312
St. Teresa of Avila
none was yet built. But this consolation didn't come because it
seemed to me that I myself did anything to bring about this new
foundation. To me it never seemed that I did anything, nor does
it now. I always know that the Lord did it, and what I did for
my part I did with so many imperfections that I rather find there
was a reason to blame myself than be pleased with myself. But
it was a great delight for me to see that His Majesty had used
me — who am so wretched — as an instrument for such a marve-
lous work. Thus I was so intensely happy that I was as though
outside myself, in deep prayer.
7. After all was over and about three or four hours had passed,
the devil stirred up within me a spiritual battle, as I shall now
describe. He brought doubts to my mind about whether what
I had done was wrong; whether I had gone against obedience
in having made the foundation without my provincial's orders.
For it indeed seemed to me the provincial would be somewhat
displeased because the house was under the jurisdiction of the
Ordinary and for my not having told him first; although, since
he had not wanted to give permission and I myself had not
changed my obedience, it also seemed to me that on the other
hand he wouldn't care at all. And there were doubts as to whether
those who lived here would be happy with so much austerity.
What if they lacked food? Wasn't it all foolishness? Who got me
involved in all this since I already had a monastery to live in?
All that the Lord had commanded me, and the great deal of
advice, and the prayers that for more than two years had gone
on almost without cease, all was erased from my memory as
though it had never been. I only remembered my own decisions.
And all the virtues, and my faith, were then suspended within
me without my having the strength to activate any of them or
defend myself against so many blows.
8. The devil raised doubts in me also about how I wanted to
shut myself up in so austere a house, and with my many illnesses.
How would I be able to endure so much penance and leave a
monastery that was large and pleasant and where I had always
been so happy? And how could I leave so many friends, for
perhaps those in the new house would not be to my liking? I
had obligated myself to a great deal; perhaps I would despair.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 36
313
The devil by chance may have intended to take away my peace
and quiet so that on account of such disturbance I wouldn't be
able to pray and thus would lose my soul.
Thoughts of this sort, all mixed together, he put before my
mind; I was powerless to think of anything else This state was
accompanied by an affliction and obscurity and darkness of soul
that I wouldn't know how to exaggerate. Finding myself in such
a condition, I made a visit to the Blessed Sacrament; although
I couldn't pray. It seems to me the anguish I experienced was
like that of someone in the death agony. I didn't dare speak of
it to anyone, for I still didn't have a designated confessor.
9. Oh, God help me, what a miserable life this is! There's no
secure happiness, nor anything that doesn't change. A short time
before it seemed to me I wouldn't change my happiness with
anyone on earth, and now the very reason for this happiness
tormented me in such a way that I didn't know what to do with
myself. Oh, if we would carefully observe the affairs of our life!
Each one would see through experience the little of either hap-
piness or unhappiness we ought to have on their account.
Certainly, I think, it was one of the most difficult periods in
my life. It seems my spirit anticipated the many things I had
yet to pass through, although they weren't as severe as this
suffering would have been should it have lasted. But the Lord
did not let His poor servant suffer long, for never did He fail
to succor me in my tribulations. And He did so in my present
one, for He gave me a little light to enable me to see it was the
devil and to understand the truth that it was all due to the devil's
desire to frighten me with lies. As a result I began to recall my
strong resolutions to serve the Lord and my desires to suffer for
Him. I reflected that if I were to fulfill these desires I couldn't
go about seeking rest; and that if I had trials, they would be
meritorious; and if unhappiness, it would serve as purgatory if
I accepted it in the service of God; that I had nothing to fear,
for since I desired trials, these troubles were good; that the greater
the opposition the greater the gain. And why did I lack courage
to serve one whom I owed so much?
With these and other reflections, drawing up all my strength,
I promised before the Blessed Sacrament to do all I could to
314
St. Teresa of Avila
obtain permission to come to live in this house, and to make
a promise of enclosure when able to do it in good conscience.
10. Once I did this the devil fled instantly and left me calm
and happy; and I remained so, and have remained so always.
All the enclosure and penance and other things that are observed
in this house are extremely easy for me and amount to little.
The happiness is so very great I sometimes wonder what I could
choose on earth that would be more pleasant for me. I don't know
if these observances are the reason for my having better health
than ever, or whether the Lord — since it is necessary and right
that I do as everyone else — wants to give me this consolation
of being able to keep them, even though with difficulty. But all
those persons who know about my illnesses marvel at this power.
May He be blessed who gives all things and in whose power all
things can be done!15
11. I was left truly exhausted from such a conflict, and I
laughed to myself at the devil, for I saw clearly it was he. I believe
the Lord permitted this conflict because I had never known what
it was to be unhappy with being a nun (not for even a moment
during the twenty-eight years or more that I was one), and that
I might know the great favor He had thereby granted me and
the torment He had freed me from; and also so that if I should
meet someone who was unhappy I wouldn't be surprised but
feel compassion for her and know how to console her.
Once this conflict was over, after dinner, I wanted to rest a
little since I had hardly slept the whole night, nor had I been
without work or worry some of the other nights; and all the days
had been truly tiring. But since what was done became known
in my monastery, and there arose in the city a great outcry for
the reasons I mentioned,16 which seemed to bear some weight,
the prioress17 sent me an order to return to my monastery at
once. On seeing her orders I left my nuns, who were very sad-
dened, and returned immediately. I saw clearly that many trials
would be awaiting me, but since the house was already estab-
lished, I didn't worry much. I prayed to the Lord to protect me
and to my father St. Joseph to bring me to his house, and I
offered God what I would have to undergo. I was very happy
about the coming opportunity to suffer for Him and be able to
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 36
315
serve Him, for I believed they would immediately throw me into
the prison cell. But I thought this would make me very happy
since I wouldn't have to speak to anyone and would be able to
rest a little in solitude, for which I had a real need because I
was worn out from so much dealing with people.
12. When I arrived and gave an account to my prioress, she
was somewhat placated. They sent everything to the provincial,
and the case was left up to him. When he came, I went before
him very happy to know I was suffering something for the Lord
because in this case I didn't find I had committed any offense
either against His Majesty or against the order. Rather, I was
trying with all my strength to bring our order increase, and I
would have eagerly died for it since my whole desire was that
our order fulfill its mission perfectly. I recalled the judgment
pronounced on Christ and saw how it amounted to nothing at
all, I accused myself of the fault as one who was very much to
blame,18 and this seemed true to anyone who didn't know all
the reasons. After having received a serious reprimand, although
not one as severe as the transgression deserved or in accordance
with what many told the provincial, I didn't want to excuse
myself; I had been determined about what I did. Rather, I
begged to be pardoned and punished and that he not be vexed
with me.
13. I saw clearly that in some matters they condemned me
without any fault on my part, for they said I did it so as to be
esteemed or to become famous and other similar things. But in
other matters I knew plainly they were speaking the truth, in
saying that I was worse than others, in asking how, since I hadn't
kept the strict religious observance of that house, I thought I
could keep it in another stricter one, and in asserting that I gave
scandal to the people and was promoting novelties. None of what
they said caused me any disturbance or grief, although I let on
that it did so as not to give the impression I didn't take to heart
what they said to me. Finally the provincial ordered me to go
before the nuns and give my account, and I had to do it.
14. Since I felt interiorly calm and the Lord helped me, I gave
my explanation in such a way that neither the provincial nor
those who were present found anything to condemn me for.
316
St. Teresa of Avila
Afterward I spoke to him more freely, and he was very satisfied
and promised — if all went well — to give me permission to go
there once the city quieted down, for the clamor throughout the
whole city was vehement, as I shall now describe.
15. After two or three days some of the councilmen as well
as the mayor and the city council gathered in a meeting and
unanimously stated they could by no means give consent, that
to do so would bring notable harm to the republic, and that the
Blessed Sacrament should be removed and the foundation should
not in any way be allowed to continue. They ordered a meeting
of all religious orders to be carried out in such a way that each
could give its opinion through two learned spokesmen. Some
of the spokesmen were silent, others condemned the new founda-
tion. Finally they concluded that it should be supressed at once.
Only one member, a pre 'sent ado of the order of St. Dominic,1"
although he was opposed (not to the monastery, but to its being
poor), said it wasn't something that had to be suppressed, that
the matter should be considered carefully, that there was time
for this, that such a decision pertained to the bishop — or other
things of this nature. What he said was very helpful for they
were so furious that it was a wonder they didn't carry out their
decision right away. What happened, finally, was that the foun-
dation had to continue in existence, for the Lord was pleased
with it; and all of them together could do little against His will.
They gave their reasons and were rightfully zealous; so, without
offending God, they made me suffer as well as all the persons
who were in favor of it (for there were some in its favor); and
these persons underwent much persecution.
16. The uproar among the people was such that they talked
of nothing else, and they were all condemning me and appeal-
ing to the provincial and to my monastery. I felt no more pain
over what they said about me than if they hadn't said it, yet I
was fearful the new house would be suppressed. This caused me
great disturbance, as did also the realization that the persons
who helped me were losing their credibility and suffering great
trial; for what others said against me, I think, made me rejoice.
If I had had a little faith, I wouldn't have experienced any distur-
bance; but a certain lack in one of the virtues is enough to put
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 36
317
them all to sleep. So, I was very afflicted for the two days in
which these meetings, I mentioned, among the people took place.
And while I was feeling really desolate, the Lord said to me:
"Don't you know that I am mighty? What do you fear?" And
He assured me the new monastery would not be suppressed.
As a result I was left very consoled. They sent an official denun-
ciation to the royal council. The reply that came asked for an
account of how the new monastery was founded.
17. As a result a long lawsuit began; the city sent its delegates
to the royal council, and some persons had to go to represent
the new monastery. But I had no money, nor did I know what
to do. The Lord so provided that my provincial never ordered
me to give up my involvement in the project. The provincial
is so well disposed to everything virtuous that, even though he
gave no actual help, he didn't want to oppose the foundation.
He didn't give me permission to come here until he saw what
the outcome of the lawsuit would be. These servants of God were
alone; and they did more through their prayers than I did through
my negotiations, although these negotiations required much
effort.
Sometimes it seemed that everything was failing, especially
one day before the provincial came when the prioress gave me
the order not to have anything more to do with the new
monastery; this meant abandoning everything. I went to God
and told Him: "Lord, this house is not mine; it was founded
for You; now that there is no one to take care of its affairs, You,
Your Majesty, must do so." I remained as at ease and undis-
turbed as I would have if the whole world had been taking care
of the business for me, and I immediately felt it was in safe hands.
18. A very good servant of God, a priest,20 who always
helped me and was eager about everything regarding perfection,
went to the royal council to take part in the negotiations and
worked very hard. And that saintly gentlemen, whom I men-
tioned,21 did a great deal in this matter and helped in every
way. He suffered a lot of trials and persecution, and always in
everything I esteemed him as a father and still do now. The Lord
gave so much fervor to those who helped us that each one con-
sidered the matter to be as much a part of them as it would if
318
St. Teresa of Avila
their life and honor depended on it, and they didn't think of it
as anything else than something by which the Lord was served.
It seemed clear that His Majesty helped the master I mention-
ed,22 that cleric who was also one of those who helped me a
great deal and whom the bishop made his representative in a
large meeting that was held. He stood alone against everyone
and finally appeased them by suggesting certain procedures
through which time was gained; but none of the procedures was
sufficient to keep them from soon returning to the question of
suppressing the foundation as though its suppression were a mat-
ter of life and death, as the saying goes. This servant of God
I'm speaking of officiated at the clothing ceremony and reserved
the Blessed Sacrament in the new monastery; he was the victim
of much persecution. This assault lasted almost half a year; to
tell in detail the great trials they suffered would take a long time.
19. I was startled by what the devil stirred up against a few
poor little women and how everyone thought — I mean those
opposed — that this house would be so harmful to the city. There
were only twelve women and the prioress (for there were to be
no more); and they were living such a strict life. If the house
were harmful or a mistake, it would be so for these women; but
that it would be harmful to the city didn't make sense. But the
adversaries found so many reasons for opposing it that they did
so in good conscience. Finally they came to agree that if it had
an income they would pass over the matter and let the founda-
tion continue. I was already so wearied of seeing the hardships
of all those who were helping me, more so than in seeing my
own, that it didn't seem to be a bad idea to have an income until
our adversaries quieted down, and then give it up afterward.
At other times, wretched and imperfect as I am, I thought that
perhaps the Lord wanted this since we couldn't succeed without
it; I was disposed to accept the compromise.
20. While I was in prayer the night before this matter was
to be discussed, and I had already begun to agree, the Lord told
me not to agree, that if in the beginning we accepted an income
they wouldn't allow us afterward to renounce it, as well as some
other things. That same night the holy Friar Peter of Alcantara
appeared to me, for he was already dead. And before he died
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 36
319
he had written to me — 23 since he had known about the strong
opposition and persecution we were undergoing — that he rejoiced
the foundation was being so vehemently opposed, that that was
a sign the Lord would be very much served in this monastery
in that the devil was interfering so much to prevent it, and that
I should in no way decide to receive an income. And in the letter
he urged me as much as two or three times not to accept an in-
come, and that if I followed this advice everything would come
about as I desired. I had already, two or three times since his
death, seen him and the great glory he possessed; so I wasn't
frightened. Rather I rejoiced greatly, for he always appeared
in his glorified body, filled with great glory; it gave me a powerful
feeling of glory to see him. I recall that the first time I saw him
he told me, among other things, about how sublime his joy was
and how the penance he had performed brought him fortune
in that he had gained such a reward.
21. Since I believe I already said something about these
apparitions,24 I'm not saying any more than that this time he
looked severe and told me only that I should by no means
accept an income and asked why I didn't want to take his
advice, and disappeared immediately. I was startled, and the
next day I at once told the gentleman — for he was the one to
whom 1 had recourse in everything since he was the most involved
in the project — what took place and that he should by no means
agree to an income, but that the lawsuit should go forward. He
was much more convinced about this than I, and very happy.
Later he told me how reluctantly he had agreed with the
compromise.
22. Afterward, when the negotiations were on their way toward
a settlement, another person, a very zealous servant of God came
to me saying the matter should be put into the hands of learned
men.25 As a result 1 had many worries. Some of those who
were helping me agreed with this proposal; this snarl in the
affairs, which was caused by the devil, turned out to be the most
complicated tangle of all. The Lord helped me in everything,
for in a summary like this you can't explain all that took place
in the two years from the time this house was founded to the
time the litigation ended. This last phase and the first were the
320
St. Teresa of Avila
most laborious.
23. Well, once the city was placated, the Dominican Father
Presentado26 managed to be a great help to us even though he
wasn't present. But the Lord had brought him at a time very
opportune for us, and it seemed His Majesty brought him here
solely for this purpose because this Father told me afterward that
he had not had any reason to come, but had learned of our need
by accident. His presence was what was needed. After he had
departed again, he tried in several ways to get our Father Pro-
vincial to give me and some others with me permission to come
to this house to recite the Divine Office and teach it to those
who were here, for it seemed almost impossible that the provin-
cial would give it so quickly. The day that we came was one
of greatest consolation for me.
24. Before entering the new monastery, while in prayer out-
side in the church, being almost in rapture, I saw Christ who
seemed to be receiving me with great love and placing a crown
on my head and thanking me for what I did for His Mother.
Another time while all were at prayer in choir after compline,
I saw our Lady in the greatest glory clothed in a white mantle;
it seemed she was sheltering us all under it. I understood how
high a degree of glory the Lord would give to those living in
this house.
25. Once the liturgical Offices were initiated the people began
to grow very devoted to this house. More nuns were accepted,
and the Lord started to inspire our most vigorous persecutors
to show us much favor; and they gave us alms. So they approved
of what they had so greatly disapproved. Little by little they aban-
doned the lawsuit and said that now they knew the house was
a work of God since in spite of so much opposition His Majesty
desired the foundation to go forward. And there isn't anyone
at present who doesn't think it was right to let the house be
founded. Thus they are so careful about providing us with alms
that, without our asking or begging from anyone, the Lord stirs
them to send alms to us. We get along without any lack of
necessities, and I hope in the Lord things will always be like this.
Since the nuns are few in number, if they do what they are
obliged to, as His Majesty now gives them the grace to do, I
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 36
321
am sure they won't lack anything or have need to be anxious
or to importune anyone. The Lord will take care of them as He
has up to now.
26. It is the most wonderful consolation for me to be able to
live with souls so detached. Their conversation is about how they
can make progress in the service of God. Solitude is their com-
fort, and the thought of seeing others (when doing so is not a
help toward an enkindling within them of a greater love of their
Spouse) is a burden to them even though these others may be
relatives. As a result no one comes to this house save those who
speak about this love, for otherwise neither are the nuns satisfied
nor are their visitors. Their language allows them to speak only
of God, and so they only understand one who speaks the same
language; nor would they in turn be understood by anyone who
doesn't. We observe the rule of our Lady of Mt. Carmel and
keep it without mitigation as ordained by the Friar Cardinal
Hugo of Saint Sabina and given in 1248, in the fifth year of the
pontificate of Pope Innocent IV.27
27. It seems to me that all the trials suffered were well worth
it. Now, although there is some austerity because meat is never
eaten without necessity and there is an eight-month fast and other
things, as are seen in the first rule, this is still in many respects
considered small by the Sisters; and they have other observances
which seemed to us necessary in order to observe the rule with
greater perfection. I hope in the Lord that what has been begun
will prosper, as His Majesty has told me it would.
28. The other house that the beata I mentioned28 was trying
to found was also favored by the Lord. It was established in
Alcala, and there was no lack of strong opposition to her; nor
did she fail to suffer great trials. I know that full religious observ-
ance is kept there in conformity with this first rule of ours. May
it please the Lord that all be to His glory and praise and to that
of the glorious Virgin Mary, whose habit we wear, amen.
29. I believe your Reverence29 will be annoyed by the long
account I've given of this monastery, but it is very short in com-
parison with the many trials we suffered and the wonders the
Lord has worked for it. There are many witnesses who are able
to swear to these marvels, and so I beg your Reverence for the
322
St. Teresa of Avila
love of God that if you think you should tear up what else is
written here you preserve whatever pertains to this monastery.
And when I'm dead, give it to the Sisters who live here that when
those who are to come see the many things His Majesty arranged
for its establishment by means of so wretched and dreadful a
thing as myself they might be greatly encouraged to serve God
and strive that what has been begun may not collapse but always
flourish.
Since the Lord has desired so particularly to show His favor
toward the establishment of this house, it seems to me that one
would be doing a great wrong and would be punished by God
were one to begin to mitigate the way of perfection that the Lord
has initiated here and so favored that it can be borne with such
great ease; it is very clearly seen to be bearable and can be carried
out calmly. The main disposition required for always living in
this calm is the desire to rejoice solely in Christ, one's Spouse.
This is what they must always have as their aim: to be alone
with Him alone. And there should be no more than thirteen in
the house,30 for after much advice I have learned that this is a
fitting number; and I've also found it out through experience.
To live the spiritual life as we do, as well as from alms, without
begging, does not allow for a larger number. Let them always
have greater trust in the one who through many trials and the
prayer of many persons strove for what would be better. And
by the great happiness and joy and small amount of hardship
we have had during these years spent in this house, in which
we find that all of us have had much better health than usual,
it is obvious that this number is what is fitting. Those who think
the life harsh should blame their own lack of spirituality and not
what is observed here, for they should be able to live it since
persons who are sickly or have delicate health live it with such
ease; they should go to another monastery where they can be
saved in a way comformable to their own spirituality.
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 37
323
Chapter 37
Discusses the effects of a certain favor the Lord granted her. Some very
good doctrine accompanies this discussion. Tells how one should strive
for a greater degree of glory, and esteem it highly, and that we shouldn't
neglect everlasting goods for any difficulty.
IT IS HARD FOR ME to say more than I've already said
about the favors the Lord has granted me,1 and it is already
too much for anyone to believe that He granted them to so dread-
ful a person. But to obey the Lord, who commanded me to do
so, and your Reverences,2 I will say something to give Him
glory. May it please His Majesty that some soul may benefit
by seeing that the Lord has desired to favor a thing so miserable.
(What will He grant to one who has truly served Him?) May
all be encouraged to please His Majesty since even in this life
He bestows tokens like these of His love.
2. First, it must be understood that in these favors the Lord
grants to the soul there can be either more or less glory. For
in some visions the glory, delight, and consolation so surpass
what is given in others that I am amazed the difference in
rejoicing can be so great, even in this life. The difference in a
delight and favor God gives in a vision or rapture can be so great
that it seems impossible that there could be anything more to
desire here below, and so the soul doesn't desire or ask for any
more happiness. Since the time the Lord showed me how great
the difference is in heaven between the joy of some and the joy
of others, I have seen clearly that also here on earth the Lord
has no measure in giving when He is pleased to do so. Thus
I wouldn't want to use any measure in my service of His Majes-
ty and in employing all my life and strength and health to this
end. I wouldn't want to lose through my own fault as much as
one tiny particle of greater glory. So I say that if I were to be
asked which I prefer, either to bear all the trials of the world
until its end and afterward ascend to a little more glory or without
any trials to descend to a little bit less, I would very eagerly choose
all the trials for a little more of rejoicing in the knowledge of
324
St. Teresa of Avila
God's grandeurs; I see that whoever understands Him more loves
and praises Him more.
3. I don't say that were I even in the lowest place in heaven
I wouldn't be very happy and consider myself very fortunate to
be there. Since I have deserved the lowest place in hell, the Lord
would be showing me great mercy in bringing me to heaven;
may it please His Majesty that I go there and that He not look
upon my great sins. What I am saying is that if I could and if
the Lord gave me the grace to work hard, I wouldn't want to
lose anything through my own fault even if avoiding the loss
were at a very great cost to myself. How wretched I am, for with
so many sins I had lost everything!
4. It is also noteworthy that in every favor the Lord granted
me, whether vision or revelation, my soul gained something;
through some visions it gained a great deal. The vision of Christ
left upon me an impression of His most extraordinary beauty,
and the impression remains today; one time is sufficient to make
this imprint. How much deeper it becomes as the Lord grants
this favor more often! The benefit I received was most advan-
tageous, and this is what it consisted of: I had a serious fault
that did me much harm; it was that when I began to know that
certain persons like me, and I found them attractive, I became
so attached that my memory was bound strongly by the thought
of them. There was no intention to offend God, but I was happy
to see these persons and think about them and about the good
things I saw in them. This was something so harmful it was
leading my soul seriously astray. After I beheld the extraordinary
beauty of the Lord, I didn't see anyone who in comparison with
Him seemed to attract me or occupy my thoughts. By turning
my gaze just a little inward to behold the image I have in my
soul, I obtained such freedom in this respect that everything I
see here below seems loathsome when compared to the excel-
ling and beautiful qualities I beheld in this Lord. There is no
knowledge or any kind of gift that I think could amount to
anything when placed alongside of what it is to hear just one
word spoken from that divine mouth; how much more so when
the words are so many. I hold that it would be impossible for
me (provided the Lord would not permit that, on account of
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 37
325
my sins, this impression be erased from my memory) to be so
occupied with the thought of anyone that I couldn't free myself
from it by only a slight effort to remember this Lord.
5. I experienced this freedom in the case of one of my con-
fessors. Since I believe that my confessors stand so truly in the
place of God, I think they are the ones for whom I feel the most
benevolence. Since I am always very fond of those who guide
my soul and since I felt secure, I showed them that I liked them.
They, as God-fearing servants of the Lord, were afraid lest in
any way I would become attached and bound to this love, even
though in a holy way, and they showed me their displeasure.
This happened after I became so subject to obeying them, for
before that I didn't experience this love. I laughed to myself to
see how mistaken they were, although I didn't always express
so clearly how little attached I was to anyone. But I assured them;
and as they got to know me better they realized what I owed
to the Lord, for these suspicions they had about me always came
at the beginning of our acquaintance.
A much greater love for and confidence in this Lord began
to develop in me when I saw Him as one with whom I could
converse so continually. I saw that He was man, even though
He was God; that He wasn't surprised by human weaknesses;
that He understands our miserable make-up, subject to many
falls on account of the first sin which He came to repair. I can
speak with Him as with a friend, even though He is Lord. I know
that He isn't like those we have as lords here on earth, all of
whose lordship consists in artificial displays: they have to have
designated times for speaking and designated persons to whom
they speak. If some poor little creature has any business matter
to take up, what roundabout ways they must go through and
what trials and favors it costs them in order to get to speak to
this lord! Oh, and if it is with the king! Then, people who are
poor or those who don't belong to the nobility can't even get near;
but they must ask those who are the court minions. And most
assuredly these latter are not persons who have trampled the
world underfoot, for those who have, speak the truth since they
know no fear, nor are they obligated to anyone. Such people
are not for the palace, for there you mustn't speak out but be
326
St. Teresa of Avila
silent about what appears to be wrong; you mustn't even dare
think about it if you dont' want to fall into disfavor.
6. O King of Glory and Lord of all kings! How true that Your
kingdom is not armed with trifles, since it has no end! How true
that there is no need for intermediaries with You! Upon
beholding Your person one sees immediately that You alone,
on account of the majesty You reveal, merit to be called Lord.
There's no need for people in waiting or for guards in order that
one know that You are King. Here on earth, if a king were all
by himself, he would fail to be recognized. However much he
would want to be recognized as king, he wouldn't be believed;
he would have no more to show than anyone else. It's necessary
that one see the reason for believing he is a king, and that is
the purpose of these artificial displays. If he didn't have them,
no one would esteem him at all; the appearance of power doesn't
come from him. It is from others that his display of grandeur
must come.
O my Lord! O my King! Who now would know how to repre-
sent Your majesty! It's impossible not to see that You in Yourself
are a great Emperor, for to behold Your majesty is startling;
and the more one beholds along with this majesty, Lord, Your
humility and the love You show to someone like myself the more
startling it becomes. Nevertheless, we can converse and speak
with You as we like, once the first fright and fear in beholding
Your majesty passes; although the fear of offending You becomes
greater. But the fear is not one of punishment, for this punish-
ment is considered nothing in comparison with losing You.
7. These are the benefits deriving from this vision, besides
other great ones it leaves in the soul. If the vision is from God
it is known through its effects — when the soul is in light. Since
the Lord often, as I mentioned,3 wants it to be in darkness and
not see this light, it is not surprising that one as wretched as
I be afraid. It happened just now that for eight days it seemed
there wasn't any knowledge in me — nor could I acquire any —
of what I owed God, or any remembrance of His favors; my
soul was in a terrible stupor and in I don't know what kind of
condition, nor do I know how it got that way. It wasn't having
bad thoughts, but it was so incapable of good thoughts that I
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 37
327
laughed at myself. It pleased me to see the weakness of a soul
when God is not always working in it. I saw clearly that in this
state the soul is not without Him, for this trial is not like the
great ones I mentioned I sometimes have.4 But even though
the soul puts wood on the fire and does this little it can do of
itself, the fire of love does not burn. It is through His great mercy
that it sees at least the smoke so as to know that the fire is not
entirely dead. The Lord returns to rekindle it. For even though
a soul breaks its head in arranging the wood and blowing on
the fire, it seems that everything it does only smothers the fire
more. I believe the best thing for it to do is to surrender itself
completely to the fact that of itself it can do nothing and to become
occupied, as I said,5 in some other meritorious works. For
perhaps the Lord removes the prayer so that it might undertake
these works and come to know through experience how little it
can do by itself.
8. Indeed, I took delight in the Lord today and dared to com-
plain of His Majesty, and I said to Him: "How is it, my God,
that it's not enough that You keep me in this miserable life and
that for love of You I undergo it and desire to live where
everything hinders the enjoyment of You, in that I have to eat
and sleep and carry on business and talk with everyone (and
I suffer all for love of You, as You well know, my Lord, because
it's the greatest torment for me); how is it that when there is
so little time left over to enjoy Your presence You hide from
me? How is this compatible with Your mercy? How can the love
You bear me allow this? I believe, Lord, that if it were possible
for me to hide from You as it is for You to hide from me that
the love You have for me would not suffer it; but You are with
me and see me always. Don't tolerate this, my Lord! I implore
You to see that it is injurious to one who loves You so much."
9. These and other things it occurred to me to say, while
understanding first how lenient the punishment reserved for me
in hell was in comparison with the place I deserved. But
sometimes love becomes so foolish I don't make sense; with my
whole mind I make these complaints, and the Lord puts up with
it all. May so good a King be praised! We wouldn't dare say
these things to earthly kings! Yet I'm not surprised that one
328
St. Teresa of Avila
doesn't dare speak to the king or to his representatives, for there
is reason for fear. The world is such that we would have to have
longer lives — if some part of our lives is going to be spent in
serving God — to learn all the nice points and new rules and prac-
tices of etiquette. I bless myself when I observe what is going
on. The fact is that when I entered this monastery of St. Joseph
I still didn't know how to live. It's no laughing matter when there
is some carelessness in dealing with people who deserve much
more. They, indeed, take it as such an affront that it becomes
necessary to show proof of your good intentions, if there is, as
I say, some carelessness; even then please God they will believe
you.
10. I repeat that indeed I didn't know how to live. Here is
a poor tired soul: it sees how they command her to keep her
thoughts always on God and they insist it is necessary to do this
in order to free oneself from many dangers; on the other hand
it sees it mustn't miss any fine points in the world's rules of eti-
quette lest it become an occasion of temptation to those whose
reputations are based on these details. These rules weary me, and
I was never done excusing myself, because I couldn't help —
even though I studied the matter — but to make many mistakes.
For, as I say, in the world these mistakes are not taken lightly.
And is it true that religious who should be held excused in these
matters are in fact excused? No, it is not; it is said that
monasteries must be schools of etiquette and that these things
should be known. I for one certainly cannot understand this.
I have thought that some saint said the monastery should be a
school for the instruction of those wanting to be courtiers in
heaven — and this has all been understood backward. It is right
for anyone who cares about heaven to have a continual solicitude
about pleasing God and despising the world. It is beyond me
how anyone can have so much concern about pleasing those who
live in the world by means such as these, which are so changeable.
If you could learn the rules once and for all, you could let the
matter pass. But just for the titles of address on a letter there's
need for a university chair, so to speak, to lecture on how it's
to be done. For sometimes you have to leave a margin on this
side of the page, sometimes on the other; and someone who's
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 38
329
not usually addressed as magnifico must be then addressed as
illustrious.
11. I don't know how it's all going to end up; even though
I'm not yet fifty, I've already seen so many changes I don't even
know how to live anymore. What will they do who are now being
born and will live for many years? I surely pity spiritual people
who are obliged for certain holy reasons to live in the world;
it is a terrible cross they must bear with all these rules of etiquette.
If you could reach an agreement with everyone and become ig-
norant in this science and desire that others consider you to be
so, you would be freed from a lot of troubles.
12. But what foolishness I've got into! Wanting to speak of
God's grandeurs, I've ended up speaking about petty worldly
things. Since the Lord has granted me the favor to abandon this
world, I want to go forth from it. Let those who love such trivial
things attend to them. Please God that in the next life, which
will be without change, we shall not have to pay for this. Amen.
Chapter 38
Deals with some great favors the Lord granted her by showing her certain
heavenly secrets, and with other great visions and revelations that His
Majesty wanted her to see. Tells of the effects they had on her and of the
great profit her soul derived from them.
ONE NIGHT, BEING SO ILL that I wanted to excuse
myself from mental prayer, I took my rosary in order to
occupy myself in vocal prayer. I tried not to recollect my in-
tellect, even though externally I was recollected in the oratory.
When the Lord desires, these devices are of little avail. I was
doing this for only a short while when a spiritual rapture came
upon me so forcefully that I had no power to resist it. It seemed
to me I was brought into heaven, and the first persons I saw
there were my father and mother. I saw things so marvelous —
in as short a time as it takes to recite a Hail Mary — that I in-
deed remained outside myself; the experience seemed to me too
330
St. Teresa of Avila
great a favor. I say it lasted a short time, but perhaps it took
a little longer; the impression is that the time was very short.
I feared lest the experience be some illusion, although it didn't
seem so to me. I didn't know what to do, because I was very
ashamed to go to my confessor about this. I don't think the shame
was from humility, but I thought he would make fun of me and
say: Oh, what a St. Paul you are, or a St. Jerome,1 that you
see heavenly things! And that these glorious saints experienced
similar things made me more afraid. I did nothing but weep a
great deal, for I didn't think there was any basis for my having
such an experience. Finally, however much I disliked doing so,
I went to my confessor; I never dared to remain silent about
such things — however much I regretted having to speak of
them — on account of the great fear I had of being deceived. Since
he saw I was so anxious, he consoled me very much and said
many kind things in order to free me from my troubled feelings.
2. As time went on, it happened — and continues to happen
sometimes — that the Lord showed me greater secrets. There is
no way in which the soul can see more than what is manifested,
nor is this possible; so my soul never saw more than what the
Lord wanted to show it each time. What He revealed was so
great that the least part of it would have been sufficient to leave
me marveling and very proficient in considering and judging
all the things of life as little. I should like to be able to explain
something about the least of what I came to know; and in think-
ing about how this can be done, I find that it is impossible. In
just the difference between the light we see and the one
represented there, although all is light, there is no comparison;
next to that light the sun's brilliance seems to be something very
blurred. In sum, the imagination, however keen it may be,
cannot paint or sketch what this light is like, or any of the things
the Lord gave me knowledge of. He bestows along with this
knowledge a delight so sublime as to be indescribable, for all
the senses rejoice to such a high degree and in such sweetness
that the delight cannot be exaggerated — so it's better not to say
any more.
3. Once, for more than an hour, since it doesn't seem to me
that He left my side, the Lord was showing me admirable things
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 38
331
in this way. He said to me: "See, daughter, what those who are
against me lose; don't neglect to tell them." Ah, my Lord, if Your
Majesty doesn't give them light, what little benefit will what I
say bring to those whose deeds blind them! Some persons to
whom You have given light will profit from knowing about Your
grandeurs; but I don't think anyone who sees they are revealed
to someone as dreadful and wretched as myself will believe me.
May Your name and mercy be blessed, because at least in myself
I have seen a recognizable improvement. Afterward I wanted
to remain in this state always and not return to everyday living,
for the contempt that was left in me for everything earthly was
great; these things all seemed to me like dung, and I see how
basely we are occupied, those of us who are detained by earthly
things.
4. Once, when I was with that lady I mentioned, I was ill with
heart sickness; as I said my heart trouble was severe.2 although
it isn't now. Since she was very charitable, she gave orders that
I be shown some of her jewels of gold and precious stone that
were very valuable, especially one of the diamonds that was ap-
praised highly. She thought they would make me happy. Recall-
ing what the Lord has kept for us, I was laughing to myself and
feeling pity at the sight of what people esteem. And I thought
of how impossible it would be for me, even if I tried, to esteem
those things if the Lord didn't remove from my memory the
things He had shown me. In this way the soul has great domi-
nion, so great that I don't know whether anyone who doesn't
possess this dominion will understand it. It is the detachment
proper and natural to us because it comes without labor on our
part. God does it all, for His Majesty shows these truths in such
a way, and they are so imprinted in the soul, that it is seen clearly
we couldn't acquire them by ourselves in this way and in so short
a time.
5. Likewise, little fear of death, which I always feared greatly
remained. Now death seems to me to be the easiest thing for
anyone who serves God, for in a moment the soul finds it is freed
from this prison and brought to rest. I think these raptures in
which God carries away the spirit and reveals to it such excellent
things are like the departure of the soul from the body, for in
332
St. Teresa of Avila
an instant these good things are seen all together. Let us omit
any word about the pains suffered when soul and body are torn
from each other, for little attention should be paid to them. And
the death of those who truly love God and have despised the
things of this life must be more gentle.
6. These revelations also helped me very much, I think, in
coming to know our true country and realizing that we are
pilgrims here below; it is a wonderful thing to see what is there
and know where we shall live. For if someone has to go to live
permanently in another country, it is a great help to them in
undergoing the struggle of the journey to have seen that it is
a land where they will be very much at ease. These revelations
are also a great help for reflecting on heavenly things and striv-
ing that our conversation be there; these things are done with
ease. Doing them is very beneficial; merely to look toward heaven
recollects the soul, for since the Lord desired to reveal something
of what is there, the soul concentrates on it. It happens to me
sometimes that those who I know live there are my companions
and the ones in whom I find comfort; it seems to me that they
are the ones who are truly alive and that those who live here
on earth are so dead that not even the whole world, I think,
affords me company, especially when I experience those impulses.
7. Everything I see with my bodily eyes seems to be a dream
and a mockery. What I have already seen with the eyes of my
soul is what I desire; and since it is seen as something far away,
this life is a death. In sum, the favor the Lord grants to whomever
He gives visions like these is extraordinary. They are a great
help, especially in bearing a heavy cross; since nothing satisfies
the soul, everything causes displeasure. And if the Lord didn't
allow that sometimes the favor be forgotten, even though it again
comes to mind, I don't know how one could live. May He be
blessed and praised forever and ever! May it please His Majesty,
by the blood His Son shed for me, since He has desired that
I understand something of so many great blessings and in some
way begin to enjoy them, that what happened to Lucifer, who
through his own fault lost everything, may not happen to me.
May He because of who He is not allow it, for I have no small
fear sometimes; although, on the other hand, and very habitually,
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 38
333
God's mercy makes me feel safe. Since He has freed me from
so many sins, He will not want to let me out of His hands to
go astray. This I beg your Reverence always to beg of Him.
8. The favors mentioned are not as great, in my opinion, as
the one I shall now speak of, and this for many reasons and on
account of the great blessings and remarkable fortitude of soul
it left in me; although each favor when looked at in itself is so
great it is beyond comparison.
9. One day on the vigil of Pentecost I went to a secluded spot
after Mass where I often prayed, and I began to read about this
feast in a volume by the Carthusian.5 Reading of the signs
beginners, proficients, and the perfect must have in order to
recognize whether the Holy Spirit is with them, it seemed to
me that by the goodness of God and insofar as I could make
out He was not failing to be with me. I praised Him and
remembered that once before when I read the passage I really
lacked everything; I had realized this very clearly, just as now
I understood the opposite about myself. So I knew that what
the Lord had granted me was a great favor. Thus I began to
consider the place I had merited in hell on account of my sins,
and I gave much praise to God because it didn't seem I recognized
my soul by the change I saw. While I was reflecting on this,
a great impulse came upon me without my understanding the
reason. It seemed my soul wanted to leave my body because it
didn't fit there nor could it wait for so great a good. The impulse
was so extreme I couldn't help myself, and it was, in my opi-
nion, different from previous impulses; nor did my soul know
what had happened, nor what it wanted, so stirred up was it.
Although I was seated, I tried to lean against the wall because
my natural power was completely gone.
10. While in this state I saw a dove over my head. It was very
different from doves on earth since it didn't have earthly feathers,
but the wings had little shells that gave off great brilliance. It
was larger than a dove. It seems to me I heard the noise it made
with its wings. It fluttered about for the space of a Hail Mary.
My soul was already in such a condition that in losing itself it
lost sight of the dove. The spirit was quieted by so good a guest;
for, in my opinion, a marvelous favor like this should have
334
St. Teresa of Avila
frightened and disturbed it. And when it began to enjoy the guest,
the fear was taken away and the joyous quietude began while
the soul continued in rapture.
11. The glory of this rapture was extraordinary. I remained
for the rest of Pentecost so stupefied and stunned I didn't know
what to do with myself, or how I had the capacity for so great
a favor and gift. I neither heard nor saw, so to speak, but ex-
perienced wonderful interior joy. I noted from that day the
greatest improvement in myself brought about by a more sublime
love of God and much stronger virtues. May He be blessed and
praised forever, amen.
12. One other time I saw the same dove over the head of a
Dominican Father,4 except that I think the rays and splendor
of the same wings extended much further. It was made known
to me that he would draw souls to God.
13. At another time I saw our Lady placing a very white mantle
on the presentado, from this Dominican order, of whom I have
sometimes spoken.5 She told me that, because of the service he
had rendered her in helping toward the foundation of this house,
she gave him that mantle as a sign that she would keep his soul
spotless from then on and that he would not fall into mortal sin.
I am certain that so it was. For a few years later he died, and
his death and the life he lived were so penitential, and the death
was so holy, that insofar as one can know there is no reason for
doubt. A friar who was present at his death told me that before
this dying Father expired he told this friar about how St. Thomas
was with him. He died with great joy and desire to leave this
exile. Afterward he at times appeared to me in resplendent glory
and told me some things. His prayer had reached such a degree
that at the time of his death when he wanted to avoid mental
prayer because of his great weakness, he couldn't on account
of his many raptures. He wrote to me a little before he died asking
what he should do, because when he finished saying Mass he
often went into rapture without being able to prevent it. God
in the end rewarded him for the great service he had rendered
Him throughout his whole life.
14. I saw some of the wonderful favors the Lord bestowed
on the rector of the Society of Jesus whom I have mentioned
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 38
335
at times.6 So as not to make this too long I will not put them
down here. Once a severe trial came upon him in which he was
very persecuted and found himself in deep affliction. One day,
while I was hearing Mass, at the elevation of the host, I saw
Christ on the cross. He spoke some words of consolation that
I was to tell this rector and some other words foretelling what
was to come and reminding the rector of what Christ suffered
for him and announcing that he should prepare himself to suf-
fer. This gave the rector great consolation and courage, and
everything came about afterward as the Lord had told me.
15.1 saw great things concerning members of the order (of
the whole order together) that this Father belonged to, that is,
of the Society of Jesus. I saw them in heaven, sometimes with
white banners in their hands, and, as I say, other very admirable
things about them. Thus I hold this order in great veneration,
for I've had many dealings with them and I see that their lives
are in conformity with what the Lord has made known to me
about them.
16. One night while I was in prayer the Lord began to speak
some words by which he made me remember how bad my life
had been, and these words filled me with shame and grief.
Although they were not severe, they caused consuming sorrow
and pain. More improvement in self-knowledge is felt from one
of these words than would be got from many days of reflection
on our wretchedness, for it engraves on us an undeniable truth.
He brought before me the extremely vain friendships I had had
and told me I should esteem highly the fact that a will that had
been as badly occupied as mine should desire to be fixed on Him,
and that He would accept it.
At other times He told me I should recall the time when, it
seems, I considered it an honor to go against His will. Again,
that I should remember what I owed Him, that when I was giv-
ing Him the hardest blow, He was granting me favors. If I have
some faults, which are not few, His Majesty gives me an
understanding of them that, it seems, reduces me to nothing;
and since I have many, this happens often. It happened to me
that, after having been reprimanded by my confessor, I desired
to find consolation in prayer; and found there the true reprimand.
336
St. Teresa of Avila
17. To return, then, to what I was saying;7 since the Lord
had begun to recall to me my wretched life and since I hadn't
done anything, in my opinion, I wondered, in the midst of tears,
if He desired to grant me some favor. It ordinarily happens when
I receive some favor from the Lord that I am first humbled within
myself so that I might see more clearly how far I am from deserv-
ing favors; I think the Lord must do this. After a short while
my spirit was so enraptured it seemed to me to be almost en-
tirely out of the body — at least the spirit isn't aware that it is
living in the body. I saw the most sacred humanity with more
extraordinary glory than I had ever seen. It was made manifest
to me through a knowledge admirable and clear that the humani-
ty was taken into the bosom of the Father. I wouldn't know how
to describe the nature of this, because, without my seeing
anything, it seemed to me I was in the presence of the Divinity.
My amazement was such that I think for several days I couldn't
return to myself; and it always seemed to me that I went about
in the presence of that majesty of the Son of God, although the
experience wasn't the same as when it first happened. This I
understood clearly, but the vision is so strongly engraved on the
imagination that no matter how short a while it lasts the im-
pression left cannot be removed for some time; and the impres-
sion is very consoling and beneficial.
18.1 saw this same vision three other times. It is in my opinion
the most sublime vision the Lord granted me the favor of see-
ing, and it bears along with it marvelous benefits. It seems it
purifies the soul in an extraordinary way and removes almost
entirely the strength of this sensitive part of our nature. It is a
great flame that seems to burn away and annihilate all of life's
desires. For even though, glory to God, I didn't have any desires
for vain things, it was made clear to me in this experience how
everything was vanity. How vain, how truly vain are the lord-
ships of earth! It is a powerful lesson for raising one's desires
to pure truth. There is impressed upon one a reverence I wouldn't
know how to speak of; for it is very different from the kind we
can acquire here on earth. Great fear is caused in the soul when
it sees how it dared, or how anyone can dare, to offend so extra-
ordinary a majesty.
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 38
337
19.1 have sometimes mentioned these effects of visions as well
as other things about them, and I have already said that the
benefit can be greater or less.8 The benefit coming from this
vision is extremely great. When I approached to receive
Communion and recalled that extraordinary majesty I had seen
and considered that it was present in the Blessed Sacrament (the
Lord often desires that I behold it in the host), my hair stood
on end; the whole experience seemed to annihilate me. O my
Lord! If You did not hide Your grandeur, who would approach
so often a union of something so dirty and miserable with such
great majesty! May the angels and all creatures praise You, for
You so measure things in accordance with our weakness that
when we rejoice in Your sovereign favors Your great power does
not so frighten us that, as weak and wretched people, we would
not dare enjoy them.
20. What once happened to a peasant could happen to us,
and I know that this really happened. He found a treasure that
was worth more than his lowly frame of mind was capable of
handling, and the possession of it caused such sadness to come
upon him that, from pure affliction and worry over not know-
ing what to do with the treasure, he gradually died. If he hadn't
found it all at once, but if it had been given to him little by little
in order to sustain him, since he was poor, he would have lived
more happily and it wouldn't have cost him his life.
21. O Wealth of the poor, how admirably You know how to
sustain souls! And without their seeing such great wealth, You
show it to them little by little. When I behold majesty as extra-
ordinary as this concealed in something as small as the host, it
happens afterward that I marvel at wisdom so wonderful, and
I fail to know how the Lord gives me the courage or strength
to approach Him. If He who has granted, and still does grant
me so many favors, did not give this strength, it would be im-
possible to conceal the fact or resist shouting aloud about marvels
so great. For what will a wretched person, like myself, who is
weighed down with abominations and who has wasted her life
with so little fear of God, feel when she sees she is approaching
this Lord of such powerful majesty and that this Lord desires
that the soul behold it? How will a mouth that has spoken so
338
St. Teresa of Avila
many words against this very Lord be united with that most
glorious body, which abounds in purity and compassion? For
the love that face shows, so beautiful in its tenderness and af-
fability, makes the soul much more sorrowful and afflicted for
not having served Him than does the majesty it beholds in Him
cause it to fear. But how could I have experienced twice what
I saw and am about to describe ?q
22. Certainly, my Lord and my glory, I am about to say that
in some way in these great afflictions my soul feels I have done
something in Your service. Alas! I don't know what I'm saying
to myself, because almost without my uttering this I'm already
putting it down in writing. I find I'm disturbed and somewhat
outside myself since I have brought these things back to mind.
If this sentiment had come from me, I might truly have said
that I had done something for You, my Lord; but since there
can be no good thought if You do not give it, there's no reason
to be thankful to myself. I am the debtor, Lord, and You the
offended one.
23. Once, while approaching to receive Communion, I saw
with my soul's eyes more clearly than with my bodily eyes two
devils whose appearance was abominable. It seems to me their
horns were wrapped around the poor priest's throat, and in the
host that was going to be given to me I saw my Lord with the
majesty I mentioned placed in the priest's hands, which were
clearly seen to be His offender's; and I understood that that soul
was in mortal sin. What would it be, my Lord, to see Your beauty
in the midst of such abominable figures? They were as though
frightened and terrified in Your presence, for it seems they would
have very eagerly fled had You allowed them. This vision caused
me such great disturbance I don't know how I was able to receive
Communion, and I was left with a great fear, thinking that if
the vision had been from God, His Majesty would not have per-
mitted me to see the evil that was in that soul. The Lord Himself
told me to pray for him and that He had permitted it so that
I might understand the power of the words of consecration and
how God does not fail to be present, however evil the priest who
recites them, and that I might see His great goodness since He
places Himself in those hands of His enemy, and all out of love
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 38
339
for me and for everyone. I understood well how much more
priests are obliged to be good than are others, how deplorable
a thing it is to receive this most Blessed Sacrament unworthily,
and how much the devil is lord over the soul in mortal sin. It
did me a great deal of good and brought me deep understanding
of what I owed God. May He be blessed forever and ever.
24. At another time something else happened to me that
frightened me very much. I was at a place where a certain person
died who for many years had lived a wicked life, from what I
knew. But he had been sick for two years, and in some things
it seems he had made amends. He died without confession, but
nevertheless it didn't seem to me he would be condemned. While
the body was being wrapped in its shroud, I saw many devils
take that body; and it seemed they were playing with it and
punishing it. This terrified me, for with large hooks they were
dragging it from one devil to the other. Since I saw it buried
with the honor and ceremonies accorded to all, I reflected on
the goodness of God, how He did not want that soul to be de-
famed, but wanted the fact that it was His enemy to be concealed.
25. I was half stupefied from what I had seen. During the whole
ceremony I didn't see another devil. Afterward when they put
the body in the grave, there was such a multitude of them inside
ready to take it that I was frantic at the sight of it, and there
was need for no small amount of courage to conceal this. I
reflected on what they would do to the soul when they had such
dominion over the unfortunate body. May it please the Lord
that what I have seen — a thing so frightful! — will be seen by all
those who are in such an evil state; I think it would prove a
powerful help toward their living a good life. All of this gives
me greater knowledge of what I owe God and of what He freed
me from. I was very frightened until I spoke about it to my
confessor, wondering if it was an illusion caused by the devil
to defame that soul, although it wasn't considered to be the soul
of someone with a very deep Christian spirit. Truly since the
vision was not an illusion, it frightens me every time I think of it.
26. Now that I have begun to speak of some visions of the
dead, I want to mention certain happenings in which the Lord
in this regard was pleased that I see some souls. I shall mention
340
St. Teresa of Avila
only a few so as to be brief and because knowing about them
isn't necessary; I mean for anyone's benefit.
I was told that someone who had been our provincial was dead
(although when he died he was in another province). I had had
some dealings with him and was indebted to him for some good
deeds.10 He was a person of many virtues. As soon as I learned
he was dead, I felt much disturbance because I feared for his
salvation in that he had been a superior for twenty years. Being
a superior is something I am indeed very afraid of since I think
having souls in one's charge involves a lot of danger; with much
anxiety I went to an oratory. I offered up for him all the good
I had done in my life, which must in fact amount to little, and
so I asked the Lord to supply from His own merits what was
necessary for that soul to be freed from purgatory.
27. While beseeching the Lord for this as best I could, it
seemed to me that person came out from the depths of the earth
at my right side and that I saw him ascend to heaven with the
greatest happiness. He had been well advanced in years, but
I saw him as only about thirty, or even less I think, and his
countenance was resplendent. This vision passed very quickly;
but I was so extremely consoled that his death could never cause
me any more sorrow, although I saw persons who were filled
with grief over his loss since he had been generally highly
esteemed. The consolation my soul experienced was so great I
couldn't worry about him, nor could I doubt that it was a vision;
I mean that it was not an illusion. No more than fifteen days
had passed since his death. However, I didn't neglect to get others
to pray for him and to pray myself, except that I couldn't do
so with the eagerness I would have if I hadn't seen this vision.
When the Lord shows some persons to me in this way and after-
ward I desire to pray for them to His Majesty, it seems to me,
without my being able to help it, that doing so is like giving alms
to the rich. Afterward I learned — for he died quite far from
here — of the death the Lord had given him; it was so greatly
edifying, because of the knowledge, tears, and humility with
which he died, that it left everyone amazed.
28. One of the nuns in the house who had been a great servant
of God had been dead a little more than a day and a half.11 A
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 38
341
nun was reciting a reading in the choir from the Office of the
dead, which was being said for the departed soul, and I was
standing so as to recite the verse with her. When she was half
through the reading, I saw the nun who had died; it seemed to
me her soul had come out at my right side just as in the previous
case and was going to heaven. This was not an imaginative vision
as was the former one, but like the others I mentioned;12 yet
this kind is as certain as the imaginative visions.
29. Eighteen or twenty years ago another nun died in the house
I was in. She had always been sick and been a very good ser-
vant of God, devoted to her choir duties and most virtuous. I
thought certainly she would not enter purgatory, because the
illnesses she had suffered were many, and that she would have
a surplus of merits. Four hours after her death, while reciting
the hours of the Office before her burial, I understood she
departed from purgatory and went to heaven.
30. While at a college of the Society of Jesus, experiencing
the great trials in soul and body I said I sometimes go
through,13 I was in such a state that I think I wasn't even able
to receive a good thought. That night a Brother from the Society
died in that house,14 and while I was praying for him as I could
and hearing Mass said for him by another Father of the Society,
a deep recollection came over me; I saw him ascend to heaven
in great glory, and the Lord along with him. By special favor
I understood that it was His Majesty going with him.
31. Another friar of our order, a truly very good friar, ,} was
seriously ill; while I was at Mass, I became recollected and saw
that he was dead and that he ascended to heaven without enter-
ing purgatory. He died at the hour I saw him, according to what
I learned later. I was amazed he hadn't entered purgatory. I
understood that since he was a friar who had observed his vows
well the Bulls of the order about not entering purgatory were
beneficial to him. I don't know why I came to understand this.
It seems to me it must have been because being a friar doesn't
consist in the habit — I mean in wearing it — but in enjoying the
state of higher perfection, which is what it means to be a friar.
32. I don't want to say anything more about these things, for
as I have said there's no reason for my doing so — ]b although
342
St. Teresa of Avila
there are many things the Lord has granted me the favor of see-
ing. But of all that I've seen, I haven't known any soul that did
not enter purgatory, with the exception of the soul of this Father
and that of the holy Friar Peter of Alcantara and the Dominican
Father I mentioned.17 In the case of some, the Lord was
pleased that I behold the degrees of glory they possess, and he
showed me the places assigned to them. Great is the difference
that lies between the glory of some and that of others.18
Chapter 39
Continues on the same subject, telling of the great favors the Lord granted
her. Treats of how He promised to answer her prayers for other persons.
Tells of some remarkable instances in which His Majesty granted her this
favor.
ONCE WHILE I WAS IMPLORING the Lord to give
sight to a person to whom I was obligated and who had
almost completely lost his vision, I was very grieved and feared
that because of my sins the Lord would not hear me. The Lord
appeared to me as He did at other times1 and began to show
me the wound in His left hand, and with the other hand He
drew out a large nail that had been embedded there. It seemed
to me that when the nail was pulled out His flesh was torn out
along with it. The sharp pain was clearly evident, and I felt great
pity. He told me that He who had suffered that for me should
not be doubted, but that in a better way He would do what I
had asked Him; that He had promised me there wasn't anything
I might ask Him that He wouldn't do; that He already knew
I wouldn't ask for anything other than what was in conformity
with His glory; and that thus He would do what I was now re-
questing; that I should consider that even when I wasn't serv-
ing Him there wasn't anything I asked for that He didn't grant,
and in a better way than I knew how to ask for; that how much
more He would grant my petitions now that he knew I loved
Him; that I shouldn't doubt this. I don't think eight days passed
before the Lord gave sight back to that person. My confessor
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 39
343
knew of this soon afterward. It could be that this cure didn't come
about because of my prayer; but since I had seen this vision,
I felt such certitude that I thanked His Majesty as though the
favor had been granted to me.
2. At another time there was a person very sick with a most
painful illness, which I won't name here because I don't know
what kind of illness it was.2 What he suffered for two months
was unbearable; the torment was lacerating. My confessor, who
was the rector I mentioned above,3 went to see him; he took
great pity on him and told me I should by all means go to see
him, that since he was a relative of mine I could do this. I went
and was moved to such pity for him that I began to beg the Lord
insistently for his health. In this experience I saw fully and clearly
the favor the Lord granted me; the next day this person was
completely cured of that affliction.
3. Once I felt severely troubled because I knew that a person
to whom I was very much obligated desired to do something
serious against the honor of God, as well as his own; he was
already very determined about the matter. My anxiety was so
great I didn't know what to do. It no longer seemed there was
any remedy to make him give up the idea. I begged the Lord
with all my heart to provide a cure for him; but until seeing this
cure I wasn't able to find any alleviation in my affliction. Being
in such a state, I went to a secluded hermitage (for we have them
in this monastery); and while in the one with the painting of
Christ at the pillar,4 and begging Him to grant me this favor,
I heard a very gentle voice speaking to me in a kind of whistling
sound. My hair stood on end, for the voice frightened me. I
wanted to understand what it was saying; but I couldn't, because
it passed very quickly. When my fear was gone, for it went away
quickly, I felt such quiet and joy and interior delight that I
marvelled that just hearing the sound of a voice could effect so
much in the soul; for I heard it with my bodily ears and without
understanding a word. In this experience I realized that what
I had asked for would be accomplished. As a result it happened
that my affliction left me completely even though the prayer was
not yet answered; the pain went away just as it would had I seen
the prayer answered as it really was afterward. I told this to my
344
St. Teresa of Avila
confessors, for I then had two who were very learned and were
good servants of God.5
4. I knew a person who had resolved to serve God very earnest-
ly and had devoted some days to prayer in which His Majesty
granted him many favors. Because of some occasions of sin that
he was in, he gave up prayer and did not withdraw from these
occasions; and they were indeed dangerous. This pained me
deeply since he was a person I loved very much and to whom
I owed a great deal. I believe it was more than a month in which
I didn't do anything else but beg God to bring this soul back
to Himself. One day, while in prayer, I saw a devil at my side
who very angrily was tearing to shreds some papers he had in
his hands. This gave me great consolation, for it seemed to me
that what I had been asking for had been accomplished. And
so it was, for afterward, I learned that this person had made
his confession with great contrition and returned to God so
sincerely that I hope in His Majesty he will always make pro-
gress. May God be blessed forever. Amen.
5. It often happens that our Lord draws souls away from
serious sin and also that He leads others to greater perfection
because of my beseeching Him. The Lord has granted me so
many favors by freeing souls from purgatory and doing other
noteworthy things that I would tire myself and tire whoever reads
this if I mentioned them all. He has granted much more in regard
to the health of souls than He has in regard to the health of bodies.
This has become something well known, and there are many
witnesses to it. At the beginning it made me very scrupulous
because I couldn't help believing that the Lord granted these
favors because of my prayer — setting aside the main fact of His
doing them solely out of His goodness. But now there are so
many cases, and they are so obvious to other persons, that it
doesn't bother me to believe this. I praise His Majesty — and am
embarrassed — because I see that I'm more indebted to Him; the
fact that He does this quickens my love and causes an increase
in my desire to serve Him. What amazes me more is that I'm
unable to ask, even though I want to, for the things the Lord
finds unsuitable; I feel so little enthusiasm, spirit, and concern
that, however much I want to force myself, it is impossible to
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 39
345
ask. Whereas in the case of other things that His Majesty is go-
ing to do, I find I can pray for them often, and with great in-
sistence. Even when I don't have this concern myself, it seems
to be put before me.
6. The difference between these two kinds of petition is so great
I don't know how to explain it. In the one case I don't cease forc-
ing myself to beg the Lord, even though I may not feel that fer-
vor in myself— although the petitions are close to my heart —
that I feel for other petitions. I feel like someone whose tongue
is tied; although she may want to speak, she cannot; and if she
does speak, she does so in such a way that she finds she isn't
understood. In the other case I feel like one who speaks clearly
and diligently to someone who is listening very eagerly. In the
first case, the petition is made, let us say for now, as it is in vocal
prayer; in the other, it is made in sublime contemplation; the
Lord so manifests Himself that He makes it known He hears
us and is glad we ask this of Him and to grant us the favor. May
He be blessed forever who gives so much, and to whom I give
so little. For what does one do, my Lord, who doesn't get rid
of everything for You? How I fail, how I fail — and I could say
it a thousand times — to get rid of everything for You! There's
no reason on this account to want to live (although there are
other reasons), because I don't live in conformity with what I
owe You. How many imperfections I see in myself! What laxi-
ty in serving You! Indeed I think sometimes I would like to be
without consciousness in order not to know so much evil about
myself. May He who is able provide the remedy.
7. While I was in the house of that lady I mentioned,6 where
it was necessary to be careful and ever reflect upon the vanity
all the things of life bear with them (for I was very much esteemed
and praised and was offered many things to which I could have
truly become attached, had I looked out for myself), He who
has true vision watched so as not to let me out of His
hand. . . .7
8. Now that I mention "true vision" I recall the great trials
persons whom God has brought to knowledge of the truth suf-
fer in dealing with these earthly things, where so much is covered
up, as the Lord once told me — for many of the things I write
346
St. Teresa of Avila
about here do not come from my own head, but my heavenly
Master tells them to me. The things I designate with the words
"this I understood" or "the Lord said this to me" cause me great
scrupulosity if I leave out even as much as a syllable. Hence
if I don't recall everything exactly, I put it down as coming from
myself; or also, some things are from me. I don't call mine what
is good, for I already know that there is nothing good in me but
what the Lord has given me without my meriting it. But when
I say "coming from me," I mean not being made known to me
through a revelation.
9. But alas, my God, how true it is that even in spiritual mat-
ters we often want to understand things through our own very
twisted opinion of the truth, just as we also do in worldly things.
We think we must measure our progress by the years in which
we have practiced prayer and, it even seems, put a measure on
Him who gives His gifts without any measure, when He so
desires. He can give more to one in half a year than to another
in many years! This is something I have seen so clearly in many
persons that I'm amazed how we can even stop to consider it.
10. I firmly believe that anyone who has talent in discerning
spirits and to whom the Lord may have given true humility will
not be deceived in this matter. For such a person judges by the
good effects, resolutions, and love; and the Lord gives light that
these may be recognized. As a result this person looks at the
improvement and progress of souls and not at their age. One
person in half a year can gain more than another can in twenty
years because, as I say, the Lord gives to whomever He wants
and also to whoever is better disposed. I now see some young
girls entering this house;8 because God has touched them and
given them a little light and love (I mean that after a short while
He gives them some gift), they do not wait for Him, or suffer
any obstacle in their path, or even remember to eat. On account
of Him who they know loves them, they close themselves up
forever in a house without income, like someone who doesn't
esteem her life. They give up everything; neither do they want
their own will, not does it even occur to them that they could
be unhappy with such enclosure and austerity: together they all
offer themselves as a sacrifice to God.
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 39
347
1 1 . How willingly in this regard I give them the advantage
over me; I should walk with shame before God! What His Ma-
jesty didn't succeed in doing with me in such a great number
of years, from the time I began to practice prayer and He began
to grant me favors, He has succeeded in doing with them in three
months — with some even three days — after granting them much
less than He did me, although He pays them well. Surely they
are not unhappy about what they have done for Him.
12. By noting this, I would like us to recall the many years
that have passed since we made profession and began to prac-
tice prayer, and not to disturb those who in a short time make
more progress, causing them to turn back in order to walk at
our pace; nor would I want to make those who fly like eagles
with the favors God grants them to advance like fettered chickens.
But let us fix our eyes on His Majesty; if we see they are hum-
ble, give them the rein; the Lord who grants them so many favors
will not let them fall from the precipice. They themselves trust
in God, for in this way the truth they know through faith benefits
them. And is it that we do not trust them but want to measure
them by our own measure conformed to our lowly spirits? Not
so; but if we don't attain to the wonderful good effects and resolu-
tions of their experience, let us humble ourselves and not con-
demn them; without experience one can misunderstand these
things. In thinking that we are looking after their progress, we
are avoiding and losing this occasion for progress ourselves. For
the Lord places this occasion before us so as to humble us and
that we might understand what we lack and how much closer
to God and more detached these souls must be than are ours
since His Majesty draws so close to them.
13. I don't mean, nor would I want it to be thought that I
mean, anything else than that I would prefer a prayer practiced
for only a short time and that produced marvelous effects that
can be seen at once; for it is impossible without a powerful love
to give up everything only so as to please God. Such prayer is
better than prayer practiced for many years in which one never,
either in the beginning or afterward, succeeds in resolving to
do anything at all for God — except some tiny little things, like
grains of salt, that have no weight or bulk and could be carried
348
St. Teresa of Avila
in a sparrow's beak, and that we do not consider to be a mor-
tification or a great effect of prayer. It's a pity we even know
about some things we do for the Lord and pay attention to them,
even though they be many.
I'm this way, and I forget the favors at every step. I do not
say that His Majesty, being so good, will not highly regard these
little deeds we perform. But I wouldn't want to pay attention
to them or observe that I'm doing them, since they are nothing.
Yet pardon me, my Lord, and don't blame me for having to
console myself with something, for I don't serve You in anything.
If I served You in great matters, I wouldn't be paying attention
to trifles. Blessed are those persons who serve You with great
deeds! If it were taken into account that I envy them and desire
these deeds, I wouldn't be very far behind in pleasing You; but
I'm not worth anything, my Lord. Give me worth Yourself since
You love me so much.
14. On one of these days, when a brief from Rome was suc-
cessfully obtained so that this monastery could exist without an
income,9 it happened that I thought the accomplishment had
cost me some difficulty. While being consoled in finding that
the matter was ended and thinking of the trials I had experi-
enced and praising the Lord for His having desired to make some
use of me, I began to consider the things I had undergone. As
a matter of fact, in each thing I did that seemed to be worth
something, I found many faults and imperfections, and
sometimes a lack of courage, and often little faith. For until the
present moment, when I see the fulfillment of everything the
Lord told me in regard to this house, I never succeeded in
definitely believing that what the Lord told me would come
about; but neither could I doubt that it would. It happened that
often on the one hand the fulfillment seemed to me impossible,
while on the other hand I couldn't doubt it — I mean believe it
would not come about. Finally, I discovered that the Lord for
His part did everything good and that I did the bad; so I stopped
thinking about the matter. I didn't want to recall it and thereby
stumble upon so many of my faults. May He be blessed who
when He so desires draws good out of everything, amen.
15. Well, I say that it is dangerous to count the number of
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 39
349
years in which you have practiced prayer; even though humili-
ty may be present, I think there can remain a kind of feeling
that you deserve something for the service. I don't mean that
you don't gain merit and that you will not be well paid. But I
consider it certain that spiritual persons who think that they
deserve these delights of spirit for the many years they have prac-
ticed prayer will not ascend to the summit of the spiritual life.
Isn't it enough that God take them by the hand to keep them
from committing the offenses they did before they practiced
prayer, without their wanting, so to speak, to sue God for money?
I don't think it shows profound humility. Indeed, it could; but
I consider it audacity. I don't think that I, who have little humili-
ty, would ever have dared to do so. Now it might be that since
I have never served, I have never asked; perhaps if I had served,
I would desire more than anyone that the Lord repay me.
16.1 don't say that a soul will not grow or that God will not
give this increase if its prayer has been humble, but I say that
those years of service should be forgotten; for in comparison with
one drop of the blood the Lord shed for us, everything we do
is disgusting. And if in serving more we become more indebted,
what is this we seek? For if we pay one maravedi of the debt,
we are given a thousand ducats in return. Let us out of love
for God set aside these judgments because they belong to Him.
These comparisons are always bad, even in earthly matters; what
must they amount to in matters that only God knows about?
And His Majesty showed it well when He paid as much to the
workers who came last as to those who came first.10
17. I've returned so often to write these three folios and so
many days have passed — for I have had and now have, as I said,
little time — 11 that I had forgotten what I began to say, which
was about this vision. I saw myself standing alone in prayer in
a large field; surrounding me were many different types of peo-
ple. All of them I think held weapons in their hands so as to
harm me: some held spears; others, swords; others, daggers; and
others, very long rapiers. In sum, I couldn't escape on any side
without putting myself in danger of death; I was alone without
finding a person to take my part. While my spirit was in this
affliction, not knowing what to do, I lifted my eyes to heaven
350
St. Teresa of Avila
and saw Christ, not in heaven but quite far above me in the
sky; He was holding out His hand toward me, and from there
He protected me in such a way that I had no fear of all the peo-
ple, nor could they harm me even though they wanted to.
18. This vision seems fruitless, but it greatly benefited me
because I was given an understanding of its meaning. A little
afterward I found myself almost in the midst of that battery,
and I knew that the vision was a picture of the world; everything
in the world, it seems, bears arms so as to injure the afflicted
soul. I'm not referring to those who don't serve God well, or to
honors, property, delights, and other similar things; for it is clear
that when you least expect you are ensnared — in any event, all
these things strive to ensnare. But I'm referring to friends,
relatives, and, what frightens me most, very good persons. I after-
ward found myself so oppressed by them all, while they thought
they were doing good, that I didn't know how to defend myself
or what to do.
19. Oh, God help me! Were I to speak of the different kinds
of trials I experienced at this time, even after those I described
before, how good would be the counsel to despise everything
completely! It was the greatest persecution, it seems to me, of
those I had undergone. I say that sometimes I found myself so
constricted on every side that the only remedy I discovered was
to raise my eyes to heaven and call upon God. I remembered
well what I had seen in that vision. It profited me a great deal
so that I didn't trust very much in anyone, for there is no stable
help but in God. The Lord always sent me in these great trials
a person on His side to lend me a hand, as He showed me in
this vision, who was unattached to anything other than pleas-
ing the Lord. He did this to sustain the little amount of virtue
I had to desiring to serve Him. May You, Lord, be blessed
forever!
20. Once while very disturbed and troubled, unable to recollect
myself and in battle and strife with my own thoughts which were
turning to imperfect matters — finding that I didn't have the
detachment I usually do — I feared, since I saw I was so wretched,
that the favors the Lord had granted me had been illusions. I
experienced, in sum, a great darkness of soul. While I was in
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 39
351
this affliction, the Lord began to speak to me. He told me not
to be anxious, that in seeing myself in this condition I would
understand how miserable I'd be if He withdrew from me, and
that there is no security while we live in this flesh. He made me
understand how worthwhile this war and strife is that merits such
a reward (it seemed to me the Lord took pity on those who live
in the world), that I should not think He had forgotten me, that
He would never abandon me, but that it was necessary I do what
I could. The Lord told me this with comforting compassion, and
He said other things by which He showed me His great favor
and which there is no reason for me to tell.12
21. His Majesty, showing me deep love, often speaks these
words to me: "Now you are Mine, and I am yours." The words
I always have the custom of saying, and I think I say them
truthfully, are: "What do I care about myself, Lord, when I care
only about You?" These words and gifts make me so extraor-
dinarily embarrassed when I recall what I am (as I have often
said,n I think, and now sometimes tell my confessor) that more
courage is necessary to receive these favors than to undergo the
severest trials. When they take place, I am almost completelv
forgetful of my deeds and am shown that I am wretched. This
happens without any discursive activity of the intellect, for it
also seems to me at times supernatural.
22. On occasion there come over me such ardent desires to
receive Communion that I don't think they could be exaggerated.
They came upon me one morning when it was raining so hard
it seemed impossible to leave the house. When I was outside
the house, I was already so outside myself with the desire for
Communion that even should lances have been held to my heart
I think I'd have gone into their midst; how much more into the
midst of rain. When I reached the church a great rapture came
upon me. It seemed to me I saw the heavens open, not just an
entrance as I have seen before. A throne was shown to me, which
at other times I've told your Reverence I've seen;14 and above
it another throne where the Divinity was. Although I didn't see
the Divinity, I knew with an indescribable knowledge that It
was there. Seemingly some animals were holding up the throne.
I think I have heard a description of these animals. I wondered
352
St. Teresa of Avila
if they were the Evangelists.15 But what the throne was like or
who was on it, I didn't see — only a great multitude of angels.
They seemed to me to be incomparably more beautiful than those
I had seen in heaven. I wondered if they were seraphim or
cherubim because they were very different in glory. It seemed
they were afire; the difference is great, as I've said.16 And the
glory I then experienced in myself cannot be put in writing or
described, nor could anyone who hadn't experienced it imagine
what it is like. I understood that everything desirable is brought
together there, yet I didn't see anything. I was told, I don't know
by whom, that what I could do there was understand that I
couldn't understand anything and reflect upon how in comparison
with that glory everything else was nothing at all. As a conse-
quence, my soul was afterward ashamed to see that it could be
detained by any created thing; how much more if it were to
become attached to it, for all things seemed to me like an ant-hill.
23. I was present at Mass and received Communion, but I
don't know how it was possible. It seemed to me only a short
time had passed. I was amazed when the clock struck and I found
I had been in that rapture and glory for two hours. It seems
this fire comes from above, from God's true love; for however
much I may desire and seek and strive after it, I play no part
in obtaining even a spark of it, save when His Majesty so desires,
as I have often said.17 I was amazed afterward how this fire,
when one is united to it, seems to consume the old man with
his faults and lukewarmness and misery. Like the phoenix —
according to what I have read — 18 which after it is burned rises
again from the same ashes, so afterward the soul becomes
another, with different desires and great fortitude. It doesn't seem
to be what it was before, but begins to walk on the Lord's path
with new purity. While I was beseeching His Majesty that so
it would be and that I would begin again to serve Him, He told
me: "You have made a good comparison; see that you don't forget
to strive always for improvement."
24. Once having the same doubt I just mentioned before,19
whether these visions were from God, the Lord appeared to me
and said to me severely: "O children of the earth! How long will
you be hard of heart?"20 He said that I should examine one
The Book of Her Life — Chap. 39
353
thing in myself: whether I was totally surrendered to Him, or
not; that if I was, I should believe He would not let me go astray.
I became very distressed by that exclamation. In a most tender
and comforting way He returned to say I shouldn't be distressed;
that He already knew that for my part I wouldn't fail to dedicate
myself entirely to His service; that everything I wanted would
be done (and so what I then begged for was done); that I should
behold the love for Him that was growing in me each day; that
from this I could see that my experiences weren't from the devil;
that I shouldn't think God would allow the devil to play such
a role in the souls of His servants, or that the devil could give
the quietude or clarity of understanding that I experienced. He
made me realize that since so many persons, of such quality,
told me these visions were from God I would be doing wrong
in not believing them.
25. Once while reciting the psalm Quicumque vultn I was
given so clear an understanding of how there is only one God
and three Persons that I was amazed and greatly consoled. It
was extraordinarily beneficial to me to have further knowledge
of the grandeurs of God and of His marvels. When I think about
or discuss the Blessed Trinity, it seems I understand how it is
possible; and this gives me great happiness.
26. One day, the feast of the Assumption of our Lady, Queen
of Angels, the Lord desired to grant me the following favor; in
a rapture He showed me her ascent to heaven, the happiness
and solemnity with which she was received, and the place where
she is. I wouldn't be able to describe how this happened. The
glory my spirit experienced in seeing so much glory was magnifi-
cent. The effects of this favor were great. I was helped in hav-
ing a deeper desire to undergo difficult trials, and I was left with
a longing to serve our Lady since she deserved this so much.
27. While at a college of the Society of Jesus22 and while the
Brothers in that house were receiving Communion, I saw a very
richly made pallium above their heads. I saw this twice. When
other persons were receiving Communion, I didn't see it.
354
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 40
Continues with the same subject, telling of the great favors the Lord granted
her. Good doctrine can be deduced from some of these favors; for, in addi-
tion to obeying, her main intention, as she said, has been to write about
those favors that will be of benefit to souls. With this chapter the written
account of her life comes to an end. May it be for the glory of the Lord, amen.
ONCE WHILE IN PRAYER the delight I felt within me
was so great that, as someone who is unworthy of such
good, I began to think about how I merited rather to be in that
place I had seen was reserved for me in hell. For, as I said,1
I never forget the situation I there found myself in. With this
reflection my soul began to grow more enkindled and there came
upon me a spiritual rapture that I don't know how to describe.
It seemed I was carried into and filled with that majesty I at
other times understood. Within this majesty I was given
knowledge of a truth that is the fulfillment of all truths. I don't
know how to explain this because I didn't see anything. I was
told without seeing anyone, but I clearly understood that it was
Truth itself telling me: "This is no small thing I do for you,
because it is one of the things for which you owe Me a great
deal; for all the harm that comes to the world comes from its
not knowing the truths of Scripture in clarity and truth; not one
iota of Scripture will fall short."2 To me it seemed I had always
believed this, and that all the faithful believed it. He told me:
"Alas, daughter, how few there are who truthfully love me! For
if they loved me, I would reveal to them my secrets. Do you
know what it is to love Me truthfully? It is to understand that
everything that is displeasing to me is a lie. By the beneficial
effects this understanding will cause in your soul you shall see
clearly what you now do not understand."
2. And this I have afterward come to realize, may the Lord
be praised. For ever since then, that which I observe as not
directed toward the service of God seems to me to be such vani-
ty and deception that I wouldn't know how to describe the manner
in which I understand this. Nor would I know how to describe
the grief caused me by those who I see are in darkness about
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 40
355
this truth, or, along with this, how to describe many other ad-
vantages that I shall mention here. The Lord spoke to me a par-
ticular word in this rapture by which He showed me extraor-
dinary favor. I don't know how this came about, because I didn't
see anything; but I was left with a feeling of indescribable good
fortune and with the greatest and most authentic fortitude in
using all my strength to carry out the least part of Sacred Scrip-
ture. It seems to me that no obstacle could cross my path that
I wouldn't overcome.3
3. From this divine Truth, which showed itself to me, there
was engraved upon me, without my knowing how or what, a
truth that gives me a new reverence toward God; for it gives
knowledge of His majesty and power in an indescribable way:
I know that this majesty and power are something great. There
was left in me a keen desire to speak only those things that are
very true, that reach beyond what is dealt with here in the world;
and so I began to experience the pain of living in the world.
This experience left me feeling great tenderness, consolation,
and humility. I think that, without my understanding how, the
Lord gave me very much with this favor. I felt no suspicion that
it was an illusion. I didn't see anything, but I understood the
great blessing there is in not paying attention to what doesn't
bring us closer to God. Thus I understood that the Lord gave
me understanding of what Truth itself is.4
4. All I have mentioned I have come to know sometimes
through locutions, at other times without them. Some things I
understood more clearly than I understand what is told me in
words. I understood extraordinary truths about this Truth, more
than if many learned men had taught me. I don't think they could
ever have impressed truth upon me in this way or made me
understand so clearly the vanity of this world.
This truth, which I say was given to my understanding, is
in itself truth, and it is without beginning or end; all other truths
depend upon this truth, just as all other loves depend upon this
love, and all other grandeurs upon this grandeur — although this
statement is obscure if compared to the clear understanding the
Lord wanted me to have. And what power this Majesty appears
to have since in so short a time He leaves such an abundant in-
356
St. Teresa of Avila
crease and things so marvelous impressed upon the soul! O my
Grandeur and Majesty! What are You doing, my all-powerful
Lord? Look upon whom You bestow such sovereign favors! Don't
You recall that this soul has been an abyss of lies and a sea of
vanities, and all through my own fault? For even though You
gave me the natural temperament to abhor the lie, I myself in
dealing with many things have lied. How do You bear it, my
God? How is such great consolation and favor compatible with
one who so poorly deserves this from You?
5. Once while I was reciting with all the Sisters the hours of
the Divine Office, my soul suddenly became recollected; and
it seemed to me to be like a brightly polished mirror, without
any part on the back or sides or top or bottom that wasn't total-
ly clear. In its center Christ, our Lord, was shown to me, in
the way I usually see Him.5 It seemed to me I saw Him clear-
ly in every part of my soul, as though in a mirror. And this mirror
also — I don't know how to explain it — was completely engraved
upon the Lord Himself by means of a very loving communica-
tion I wouldn't know how to describe. I know that this vision
is very beneficial to me each time I remember it, especially after-
receiving Communion. I was given understanding of what it is
for a soul to be in mortal sin. It amounts to clouding this mirror
with mist and leaving it black; and thus this Lord cannot be
revealed or seen, even though He is always present giving us
being.6 And I understood that heresies amount to breaking the
mirror; which is much worse than its being darkened. The way
in which this is seen is very different from telling about it because
it can be poorly described. But it brought me much profit and
caused me grief for the times in which through my sins I so
darkened my soul that I couldn't see this Lord.
6. I think this vision is advantageous to recollected persons,
in teaching them to consider the Lord as very deep within their
souls; such a thought is much more alluring and fruitful than
thinking of Him as outside oneself, as I mentioned at other
times.7 And some books on prayer tell about where one must
seek God. Particularly, the glorious St. Augustine speaks about
this for neither in the market place nor in pleasures nor anywhere
else that he sought God did he find Him as he did when he sought
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 40
357
Him within himself.8 Within oneself, very clearly, is the best
place to look; and it's not necessary to go to heaven, nor any
further than our own selves; for to do so is to tire the spirit and
distract the soul, without gaining as much fruit.
7. There is one thing I want to advise here, in case someone
should experience it. It happens in deep rapture that after the
time is past in which the soul is in union (for when it is in union
the faculties are totally absorbed, and this doesn't last long, as
I said,)9 the soul remains recollected and cannot yet return to
itself in exterior things; but the two faculties, the memory and
the intellect, are left almost delirious and mad. This I say hap-
pens sometimes, especially in the beginning. I think it proceeds
from the fact that our natural weakness cannot bear such spiritual
force, and the imagination is weakened. I know that it happens
to some persons. I would consider it advisable that they force
themselves to stop their prayer at that time and recover at another
time what they miss; provided they do not try to regain this all
at once, because this state could end up being harmful. And there
is experience of such harm and of how fitting it is to consider
what our health is capable of.
8. However, experience and a spiritual master are necessary
because once the soul has reached those boundaries many things
occur about which it is necessary to have someone to talk to.
If after one has looked for someone, no one is found, the Lord
will not fail; He hasn't failed me in spite of what I am. I believe
there are few who have arrived at the experience of so many
things. If there isn't anyone with experience, there is no remedy
at all; because lacking experience, the master will only disturb
and afflict the soul. But the Lord will also take this into account.
Hence it is necessary, especially in the case of women, to discuss
this with one's confessor, and that he be a qualified one. I've
said all this before, as well as, perhaps, all that I'm now saying
(for I don't recall well); and I say it now because I find it is very
important. There are many more women than men to whom
the Lord grants these favors. This I heard from the saintly Friar
Peter of Alcantara — and I too have observed it — who said that
women make much more progress along this path than men do.
He gave excellent reasons for this, all in favor of women; but
358
St. Teresa of Avila
there's no need to mention them here.
9. Once while in prayer I was shown quickly, without my see-
ing any form — but it was a totally clear representation — how
all things are seen in God and how He holds them all in Himself.
How to put this in writing, I don't know. But it was deeply im-
pressed upon my soul, and it is one of the great favors the Lord
has granted me and one of those that have most embarrassed
me and made me ashamed when I recalled the sins I commit-
ted. I believe that had the Lord been pleased that I should have
seen this before and that those who offend Him should have seen
it, neither I nor they would have had the heart or dared to of-
fend Him. I say "it seemed to me," without being able to affirm
that I saw anything; but something must have been seen since
I shall be able to draw a comparison. 10 But the vision is seen
in so subtle and delicate a manner that the intellect probably
doesn't attain to it; or I don't know how to explain these visions
that don't seem to be imaginative. Some of them must have
something of the imaginative. But since the faculties are in rap-
ture they are unable afterward to describe how the Lord is
represented there and how He desires that they enjoy Him.
10. Let us say, to make the comparison, that the Divinity is
like a very clear diamond, much greater than all the world; or
like a mirror, as I said referring to the soul in that other vi-
sion,11 except that it is a mirror in so sublime a way that I
wouldn't know how to exaggerate this. And we could say that
everything we do is visible in this diamond since it is of such
a kind that it contains all things within itself; there is nothing
that escapes its magnitude. It was a frightening experience for
me to see in so short a time so many things joined together in
this diamond, and it is most saddening, each time I recall, to
see appearing in that pure brilliance things as ugly as were my
sins. It happens that whenever I recall this, I fail to know how
I can bear it; as a result I am then left with such shame that
I don't think I know where to hide. Oh, who could explain this
to those who commit very indecent and ugly sins, that they might
recall that these sins are not hidden and that God is rightly aware
of them since they take place squarely in the presence of the Ma-
jesty? And we act so disrespectfully in front of Him! I saw how
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 40
359
truly hell is deserved through only one mortal sin because one
cannot understand how dreadfully serious it is to commit this
sin before such awesome Majesty and how far from what He
is are things of this sort. So His mercy is seen more clearly since
even when we understand all this He bears with us.
1 1 . It made me reflect that if something like this so frightens
the soul, what will the day of judgment be like when this Ma-
jesty will be shown to us clearly and we shall see the offenses
we have committed? Oh, God help me, what blindness this is
that I have borne! Many times I have been frightened over this
vision of what I have written. Your Reverence should not be
surprised about it, but rather about how I can go on living after
seeing these things and then looking at myself. May He be blessed
forever who has put up with so much from me!
12. Once while I was in prayer with deep recollection, delight,
and quiet, it seemed to me I was surrounded by angels and very
close to God. I began to beseech His Majesty for the Church.
A revelation was given me of the great good that would be done
by a religious order in the latter times and of the fortitude with
which its members would sustain the faith.12
13. Once while I was praying near the Blessed Sacrament,
a saint appeared to me whose order was somewhat fallen. He
held in his hands a great book. He opened it and told me to
read some large and very legible letters. This is what they said.
"In the time to come this order will flourish; it will have many
martyrs."
14. At another time while I was at Matins in the choir, there
were shown or represented to me six or seven members — it seems
there were that many — of the same order, holding swords in their
hands. I think this meant that they will defend the faith. For
at another time while I was in prayer, my spirit was carried off
to where it seemed to be in a large field in which many were
in combat, and those belonging to this order were fighting with
great fervor. Their faces were beautiful and very much aglow.
They conquered many, throwing them to the ground; others,
they killed. It seemed to me this battle was against the heretics.
15.1 sometimes saw this glorious saint, and he told me a few
things and thanked me for praying for his order and promised
360
St. Teresa of Avila
to recommend me to the Lord. I'm not naming the orders (if
the Lord were pleased that they be known, He would declare
them), lest others be offended. But each order, or, rather, each
member must strive that through his instrumentality the Lord
might make his order so prosperous that it will be of service to
God in the extreme need the Church is now in. Happy the lives
lost for such a purpose!
16. A person once asked me to beg God to let him know if
it would be to the Lord's service for him to accept a bishopric.
The Lord told me after I received Communion: "When he
understands in all truthfulness and clarity that real lordship con-
sists in possessing nothing, then he will be able to accept it."15
With these words He indicated that anyone who is about to
receive a prelacy must be far from desiring or wanting it, or at
least from striving after it.
17. The Lord granted and continues ordinarily to grant these
favors, and many others, to this sinner. It doesn't seem to me
necessary to mention these others, since from what was said my
soul can be understood as can also the spirit the Lord has given
me. May He be blessed forever who has taken such care of me.
18. Once in comforting me He told me with much love that
I shouldn't be anxious, that in this life we cannot always be in
a stable condition, that sometimes the soul will experience fer-
vor and at other times be without it, that sometimes it will have
disturbances and at other times have quiet, and again tempta-
tions; but that it should hope in Him and not be afraid.
19. One day I was wondering if it was an attachment for me
to find satisfaction in being with persons with whom I discuss
my soul and whom I love, or with those who I see are great ser-
vants of God since it consoled me to be with them. The Lord
told me that if a sick person who was in danger of death thought
a doctor was bringing about a cure, that sick person wouldn't
be virtuous for failing to thank and love the doctor; that if it
hadn't been for these persons what would I have done; that con-
versation with good persons is not harmful, but that my words
should always be well weighed and holy, and that I shouldn't
fail to converse with them; that doing so is beneficial rather than
harmful. This consoled me greatly because sometimes, since con-
The Book of Her Life -Chap. 40
361
versing with them seemed to me to be an attachment, I didn't
want to talk to them at all.
Always in all matters this Lord counseled me even to the point
of telling me how I should behave with the weak and with cer-
tain persons. Never does he neglect me.
20. Sometimes I worry because I see I do so little in His ser-
vice and that I must necessarily take time for a body as weak
and wretched as mine, more than I would want. Once I was
in prayer, and the hour for going to bed came; I was feeling
many pains and had to induce the usual vomiting.14 Since I
saw I was so bound to myself and that my spirit on the other
hand wanted more time, I got so wearied I began to weep free-
ly and grow distressed. (This has happened not only once but,
as I say, often.) It seems to me I became angry with myself in
such a way that I then truly hated myself. But usually I know
I don't hold myself in abhorrence, nor do I fail to do what I see
is necessary for myself. And may it please the Lord that I do
not care for myself more than is necessary, as sometimes I'm
afraid I do. This time of which I'm speaking, the Lord appeared
to me and greatly comforted me and told me I should suffer and
do these things for love of Him because they were now necessary
for my life. So I think I was never afflicted afterward, because
I'm determined to serve this Lord and my comforter with all
my strength; even though He allowed me to suffer a little, He
consoled me in such a way that I don't do anything in desiring
trials. So now it seems to me there is no other reason for living
than to suffer trials, and this is what I most willingly beg of God.
Sometimes I say earnestly to Him; "Lord, either to die or to suf-
fer; I don't ask anything else for myself." I am consoled to hear
the clock strike, for at the passing away of that hour of life it
seems to me I am drawing a little closer to the vision of God.
21 . At other times I am in such a condition that I neither feel
like living nor have any mind to die, but I experience a
lukewarmness and darkness in everything, with many trials, as
I've said I often do.15 And although the Lord desired that these
favors He grants me be publicly known , it has been a comfort
to me that they have not been made known through any fault
of mine. His Majesty told me some years ago that so it must
362
St. Teresa of Avila
be, for I was very worried. And up to the present time I have
suffered no small amount, as your Reverence knows, because
each one gives them their own interpretation. I took extreme
care not to tell anyone but my confessors or persons who, I
learned from these confessors, knew about them. And I did this
not out of humility but because, as I said,16 it is even painful
for me to tell my confessors. Now, glory to God (even though
many criticize me, and with true zeal, and others are afraid to
talk to me or even hear my confession, and others say numerous
things against me), I am bothered very little by it all since I
understand that by this means the Lord has desired to provide
a cure for many souls (because I have seen it clearly and recall
how much the Lord will suffer for only one soul). I don't know
if this public knowledge of these favors is partly the reason His
Majesty placed me in this little corner so enclosed,17 where, ac-
cording to what I thought, I would, as one dead, no longer be
remembered. But things haven't turned out quite as I had
wanted, for I am forced to speak to some persons. Yet since I'm
not where I can be seen, it seems the Lord has brought me to
a refuge which I hope, in His Majesty, will be safe.
22. Since I am among a few holy companions and am not
in the world, I observe as though from up high and am really
little bothered by what they say or know about me. Moreover,
I would like some soul to profit a little by all that can be said
about me. Since I have been living in this house, the Lord has
been pleased that all my desires converge upon this one desire.
And He has given me a kind of sleep in life, or it almost always
seems to me that I am dreaming what I see. I am aware in myself
of neither happiness nor pain, however great. If certain things
do give me either of these, the happiness or pain passes so quickly
I marvel, and the feeling left me is that it was like a dream. This
is the complete truth; for even though afterward I may want to
rejoice over that happiness or be sad about that pain, it is not
in my power to do so; just as a prudent person is unable to delight
in or grieve over a dream that was had. The Lord has now
awakened my soul from that which, because I was not mortified
or dead to the things of the world, caused me such feelings; and
His Majesty does not want my soul to become blind again.
The Book of Her Life— Chap. 40
363
23. This is the way in which I now live, my Lord and
Father.18 May your Reverence beg God that He either take me
to Himself or show me how to serve Him. May it please His
Majesty that what is here written be of some benefit to your
Reverence, for it was difficult to do on account of the small
amount of time I had. But the difficulty will have proved well
worthwhile if I have managed to say something that may bring
someone to praise the Lord, even if only once; with this I would
feel repaid even though your Reverence then burns it.
24. I wouldn't want you to do that until the three persons14
known by your Reverence have seen it, since they are and have
been my confessors. If this account of my life is badly done, it
will be a good thing if they lose their high opinion of me; if it
is done well, they are good and learned men, and I know they
will see where it comes from and praise Him who told it through
me.
May His Majesty always keep your Reverence in His hands
and make you so great a saint that with your spirit and light
you may illumine this miserable woman who has little humility
and is very bold in having dared to undertake the task of writing
things so sublime. May it please the Lord that I did not err in
doing so since my intention and desire was to do what was right
and to obey, and that through me He might receive some praise,
which is what I have been beseeching Him for many years. Since
I do not have the deeds that praise Him, I have dared to re-
count this dissipated life of mine, although I haven't spent any
more care or time on this account than was necessary to put it
in writing and record as clearly and truthfully as I could what
has taken place in me.
May it please the Lord, since He is powerful and can hear
me if He wants, that I might succeed in doing His will in
everything. May his Majesty not allow this soul to be lost, which,
with so many artifices, in so many ways, and so often, He has
rescued from hell and brought to Himself. Amen.
IHS
HE HOLY SPIRIT BE ALWAYS with your Reverence,
amen.
It wouldn't be wrong for me to recommend earnestly the
following service to your Reverence:1 that you feel the obliga-
tion of taking great care to pray to our Lord for me. For I cer-
tainly must have the right to ask this of you from what I have
undergone in writing about myself and calling to mind so many
of my miseries; although I can truthfully say it was more dif-
ficult for me to write about the favors His Majesty granted me
than about my offenses against Him.
2. I did what your Reverence commanded me and enlarged
upon the material.2 I did this on the condition that you do
what you promised by tearing up what appears to you to be bad.
I hadn't finished reading it after the writing was done when you
sent for it. It could be that some of the things are poorly ex-
plained and others put down twice, for I had so little time I
couldn't read over what I wrote. I ask your Reverence to cor-
rect it and have it transcribed if it is to be brought to the Father
Master Avila,3 for it could happen that someone might
recognize my handwriting. I urgently desire that he be asked
for his opinion about it since this was my intention in begin-
ning to write. If it seems to him I am walking on a good path,
I shall be very consoled; then nothing else would remain for me
than to do what lies within my power. Nevertheless, do what
you think best and remember you are obliged to one who has
so entrusted her soul to you.
3. I shall recommend your Reverence's soul to our Lord for
the rest of my life. So do me the favor of hurrying to serve His
Majesty; for you will see, from what is written here, how well
one is occupied when one gives oneself entirely — as your
Reverence has begun to do — to Him who so immeasurably gives
364
The Book of Her Life — Epilogue
365
Himself to us.
4. May He be blessed forever! I hope in His mercy that your
Reverence and I will see each other there where we shall behold
more clearly the great things He has done for us, and praise Him
forever and ever, amen.
This book was finished in June, 1562.
Spiritual Testimonies
SPIRITUAL TESTIMONIES
INTRODUCTION
The Life of St. Teresa covers, almost exactly, her first fifty
years. In our introductions to later volumes, within the context
of her other writings, more information will be given about
Teresa's life, interior and exterior, as it progressed after 1565.
In this volume we are including a collection of other written
reports left by Teresa about her spiritual experiences. Besides
the six longer accounts of her state of soul, there are in this group
numerous shorter reports and fragments in which she usually
describes some particular grace or counsel given her by the Lord.
It would seem from a statement made by Maria de San Jose
and from testimony 24 that these shorter accounts were written
down at our Lord's command.
Three of the longer accounts (testimonies 1-3) were composed
by Teresa for her confessors before she completed her Life) the
other three were written much later. Of the two written from
Seville in 1576 for Rodrigo Alvarez, S.J., one (testimoney 58)
is a reply to an investigation by the Inquisition. The final long
account was destined for a former confessor, the bishop of Osma,
and written in 1581 , the year prior to that in which Teresa died.
These lengthier accounts of her spiritual state of soul provide
an often neglected rich source for students of the mystical life.
It is particularly enlightening to note the difference between her
spiritual state as manifested in the report of 1560 and that shown
in the report of 1581 . There are also some excellent descriptions
of mystical prayer and, in testimony 59, an interesting summary
of its stages.
The writings in this collection taken as a whole have two com-
mon characteristics: a thematic unity, since all of them consist
of affirmations about Teresa's own spiritual life; and a
369
370
St. Teresa of Avila
chronological discontinuity, for they were written at different
times.
No consensus exists with respect to the place this collection
should occupy in the Teresian corpus. If one follows a
chronological order, the collection has to be divided up and the
various accounts put in different places throughout Teresa's
writings. Doing so prejudices the value the group of writings
has as a collection and as an important complement to the Life.
Some editors, on the other hand, though keeping the accounts
together, have tried to follow a thematic order, dividing the group
into two sections: one, under the title of Relations, which com-
prises the longer accounts; the other, under the title of Favors
of God, which comprises the shorter accounts which deal with
instances of particular graces more than with Teresa's spiritual
state in general.
In this new translation we have opted for keeping these writings
together under the general title of Spiritual Testimonies and for
arranging them in chronological order rather than thematic, plac-
ing them in this first volume after the Life. These testimonies
have been compared to X-rays of Teresa's soul, and, thematical-
ly, are indeed a complement to the Book of Her Life. Her Life
contains accounts of her state of soul as well as descriptions of
many of the favors the Lord granted her up to the time of the
completion of the book in 1565. The three first accounts could
serve as a kind of foreword to the Life, and all the others would
of necessity be a kind of epilogue since they deal with facts or
experiences occurring after the book was finished. Since the word
"relations" used in the title of former English translations is am-
biguous, the general title Spiritual Testimonies , though new, seems
more appropriate. These writings, as in the case of the Life, do
indeed have the value of being testimonies to Teresa's experience
of God and of His action within her.
We have followed the text presented in Fr. Tomas Alvarez's
edition (Burgos: Edit. El Monte Carmelo, 1971). He bases his text
on those autographs still preserved (testimonies 4, 5 [the words
spoken by our Lord], 12, 35, and 36) and on the text of Ribera
taken for the most part from copies in the Avila codex. The
headings at the beginning of each testimony were added by us
Spiritual Testimonies — Introduction
as a convenience for the reader.
K.K.
372
St. Teresa of Avila
1.
(Avila, 1560)1
Her spiritual state and manner of prayer
My present procedure in prayer is as follows: I am seldom
able while in prayer to use my intellect in a discursive
way, for my soul immediately begins to grow recollected; and
it remains in quiet or rapture to the extent that I cannot make
any use of the senses. This recollection reaches such a point that
if it were not for hearing— and this hearing does not include
understanding— none of the senses would be of any avail.
2. It often happens to me that this recollection and elevation
of the spirit comes upon me so suddenly I cannot resist; and
in a moment I receive the effects and benefits that it carries in
its wake. This recollection occurs without my desiring to reflect
on the things of God and while I am dealing with other things
and thinking that even if I tried to practice prayer I wouldn't
be able to because of great dryness, intensified by bodily pains.
It happens without my having a vision, or understanding
anything, or knowing where I am. But while it seems to me that
my soul is getting lost, I see what it gains, so that should I have
desired to obtain these blessings myself in the course of a year
I don't think it would have been possible to have acquired them.
3. At other times I receive a very intense, consuming impulse
for God that I cannot resist. It seems my life is coming to an
end, and so this impulse makes me cry out and call to God; and
it comes with great frenzy. Sometimes I'm unable to remain
seated because of the vomitings from which I suffer;2 and this
pain comes upon me without my seeking it. It is of such a kind
that the soul would never want to be relieved of it as long as
it lives. I have longings not to live this apparent life any more.
I cannot find any remedy for these longings, since the cure for
the desire to see God is death; and I cannot take this cure. Along
with this, it seems to my soul that everyone has the greatest con-
solation except itself and that all find a cure for their trials ex-
cept itself. This causes such affliction that if the Lord didn't pro-
vide a remedy by means of a certain rapture, in which everything
is^nade^p^a^ejiil^and the soul remains in deep quiet and
Spiritual Testimonies
373
satisfaction — now beholding something of what it desires, now
understanding other things — it would be impossible to get free
from that pain.
4. At other times, some desires to serve God come upon me
with impulses so strong I don't know how to exaggerate them,
and there is also pain in seeing of what little use I am. It seems
to me, then, that no trial, neither death, nor martyrdom, nor
anything could be offered to me that I wouldn't easily undergo.
This, too, occurs without reflection; but in an instant it changes
me completely, and I don't know where I get so much strength.
It seems to me I would want to cry out and make everyone
understand what is gained by not being satisfied with a few things
and how much good there is that God will give us if we dispose
ourselves for it. I say these desires are of a kind that consume
me, for I want what I am unable to procure. It seems to me
this body and this state bind me, for they are no good at all for
serving God. If I wasn't so bound, I would do very noble deeds
insofar as my strength would allow. But I feel such pain in see-
ing I have no power to serve Him that I cannot exaggerate it.
I end up with delight and recollection and consolations from God.
5. At other times, when these anxious longings to serve Him
come upon me, I feel I want to do penance; but I am unable.
Penance would bring me great relief, and it does bring me relief
and joy, although the penances amount to almost nothing on
account of the weakness of my body; yet were these desires to
remain, I think I would do too much.
6. Sometimes it gives me great pain to have to have dealings
with others; it afflicts me so much that it causes me to weep pro-
fusely, because all my longing is to be alone. And even though
sometimes I do not pray or read, solitude consoles me. Conver-
sation, especially with relatives, seems to me burdensome. I feel
as though I am among strangers, except when I am with those
to whom I speak about prayer and the soul, for with these per-
sons I am happy and consoled, although sometimes I have
enough of them and do not want to see them but want to go
where I can be alone; but this latter happens seldom, especially
in the case of those to whom I manifest my conscience, for they
are always a consolation to me.
374
St. Teresa of Avila
7. At other times it gives me great pain to have to eat and
sleep and to see that I more than anyone cannot give up these
actions. I perform them to serve God, and so I offer them to
Him. It seems to me that all time is short and that I don't have
enough for prayer, for I never tire of being alone. I always want
to have time to read because I have been very fond of reading.
I read very little, for in picking up a book I become recollected
in my contentment, and so the time for reading passes in prayer.
This time amounts to little, for I have many duties; and though
they are good, they do not provide me with the satisfaction
reading does. So I go about always wanting time, and the
awareness that what I want and desire is not granted is that
which, I think, makes everything insipid to me.
8. All these desires and those, too, for virtue were given me
by our Lord after He gave me this quiet prayer with these rap-
tures; and I found I was so improved that it seems to me I was
previously a total loss. These raptures and visions leave in me
the benefits I shall here describe. And I say that if I have anything
good, it has come from these.
9. There has come upon me a very strong determination not
to offend God, not even venially; for I would die a thousand
deaths rather than offend Him knowingly. There is the deter-
mination not to omit anything I think is more perfect or will
render greater service to our Lord when the one who has care
for me and directs me says this is so; and even though I may
perform such action reluctantly, I wouldn't for any treasure fail
to do it. And if I should do the contrary, I don't think I would
dare ask our Lord God for anything, or practice prayer, although
in all these matters I commit many faults and imperfections.
I obey my confessor, although imperfectly. Yet, once I have
understood that he wants something or has given me a command,
insofar as I know I wouldn't fail to carry it out; and were I to
fail, I would think I was being very much mistaken.
I desire poverty, although imperfectly. Yet, I think that even
were I to possess many treasures, I wouldn't keep any special
income or any money for myself alone, nor would this matter
to me. I would only want to have what's necessary. Still, I feel
I'm very much lacking in this virtue. For although I don't desire
Spiritual Testimonies
375
any money for myself, I should like to have it so as to give it
away, though I don't desire any income or anything for myself.
10. From almost all the visions I've experienced, I've received
some benefit, except in those cases where there is deception from
the devil. In this I submit to my confessors.
1 1 . When I see something beautiful or rich, like water, fields,
flowers, fragrances, music, and so on, it seems to me that I
wouldn't want to see or hear these things, so great is the dif-
ference between them and what I am accustomed to seeing; thus
all desire for such things is taken from me. And as a result I
have come to care so little for them that, save for the first stir-
rings, they make no impression on me and seem like dung.
12. If I speak or have dealings with some secular persons
because matters can't be otherwise, and even though the sub-
ject may concern prayer, I find that if the conversation is pro-
longed, just a diversion and unnecessary, I am forcing myself
to continue, because such conversation is a severe hardship for
me. Amusements that I used to like and things of the world,
all annoy me; and I cannot look at them.
13. These desires for loving and serving God and seeing Him,
which I mentioned that I have, are not fostered by reflections
as they were previously when it seemed to me I was very devout
and when I shed many tears. But they come with so excessive
an enkindling and fervor that I repeat that if God did not cure
me by means of some rapture, in which it seems to me my soul
is satisfied, I think my life would soon come to an end.
14.1 greatly love those who I see are more advanced and who
are determined, detached, and courageous; and they are the ones
with whom I would want to converse; it seems they help me.
Persons who I see are timid, who I think proceed with great cir-
cumspection so that things can be done here below in conform-
ity with reason are oppressive to me and make me cry to God
and to His saints, who undertook those things that now frighten
us. I feel this, not because I think I am worth anything but
because I think God helps those who set out to do much for Him
and that He never fails anyone who trusts in Him alone. I should
like to find someone who would help me believe this, and not
have to worry about what I must eat and wear, but be able to
376
St. Teresa of Avila
abandon that to God. It shouldn't be thought that this abandon-
ment to God in necessities means I don't try to procure them,
but I mean I don't do so with a concern that makes me worry.
Since He has given me this freedom, such abandonment does
me good, and I strive to forget myself as much as I can. It doesn't
seem a year has yet passed since our Lord has given me this
freedom.
15. Insofar as I know, glory to God, there is no reason for
me to experience vainglory. For I observe clearly in these things
God grants that I don't do anything myself; rather, God gives
me a feeling of my miseries. No matter how much thinking I
might do, I would never be able to see all the truths I come to
know in a moment.
16. For a few days now, it seems to me as if I am speaking
of another person when I speak of these things. Before, I was
ashamed sometimes that my experiences were known, but now
I think I'm no better on account of so many favors but worse,
since I profit so little from them. Indeed, I think there hasn't
been anyone worse than I in any part of the world. So it seems
to me that the virtues of others have much more merit, that I
don't do anything but receive favors, and that God will give others
all at once what He desires to give me here. I beseech Him not
to want to pay me in this life, and so I believe that because I
am weak and wretched the Lord has led me by this path.
17. While in prayer, and almost whenever I'm able to reflect
a little, I'm unable to ask for rest or to desire it from God, even
if I try. For I see that He didn't live but with trials; and I beg
Him to give me these, granting me first the grace to suffer them.
18. All these kinds of things that have to do with very sublime
perfection it seems are impressed upon me in prayer, so much
so that I am amazed to see so many truths and so clearly, for
the things of the world appear to me to be nonsense. So I need
to be careful by reflecting on what my attitude was previously
toward the things of the world, for it seems to me that to grieve
over its deaths and trials is foolish, at least if the sorrow or the
love of relatives, friends, and so on, lasts a long while. I say that
I proceed carefully, reflecting on what I was and what I used
to feel.
Spiritual Testimonies
377
19. If in some persons 1 see things that clearly seem to be sins,
I cannot come to the conclusion they have offended God. And
if I stop somewhat to consider them — which happens hardly or
not at all — I never reach that conclusion, although I may have
seen the things clearly. It seems to me the care I have about
serving God is had by all. In this matter He has granted me
a great favor, for I never pause to consider anything evil; because
when I afterward recall it, and if I recall it, I always see another
virtue in that person. Thus these things never distress me, unless
in the case of something that is common, or of heresies which
often cause me affliction. And almost as often as I think about
them it seems to me that this trial alone is the one that must
be felt. I also grieve if I see some persons who used to practice
prayer turn back. This grieves me, but not a lot, since I strive
not to pause to think about it.
20. I also find improvement in regard to my former vanities,
but it is not complete; for I'm not always mortified in this regard,
although sometimes, yes.
21. All of this I have said is what ordinarily takes place in
my soul insofar as I can understand. I very habitually keep my
mind fixed on God; and when I am dealing with other things,
without desire on my part — as I say— I am made attentive by
I don't know who. I am not always made attentive but only when
I'm dealing with some important matter; and this attentiveness
to these matters lasts for only a short while and, glory to God,
is not continuous.
22. It happens to me on some days — although not often, and
the experience lasts about three, four, or five days — that it seems
to me that all the good things, fervor, and visions have been
taken away; and even taken from my memory, for I don't know,
although I may want to, what good there has been in me.
Everything seems to have been a dream, at least I'm not able
to remember anything. All my bodily ills together afflict me.
My intellect disturbs me because I cannot think anything about
God, nor do I know what state I'm in. If I read, I don't under-
stand. It seems to me I am full of faults, without any courage
for virtue, and that that great courage I usually have dwindles
to this: that I'd be unable to resist the least temptation or criticism
378
St. Teresa of Avila
from the world. It occurs to me then that I'm good for nothing,
that no one could force me to do more than what is ordinary;
I feel sad; I feel I've deceived all those who have given me some
credit. I should like to hide some place where no one would see
me; not solitude for virtue's sake, but out of pusillanimity. It
seems to me I'd want to quarrel with everyone who contradicts
me. I carry about with me this battle, except that God grants
me the favor of not offending Him more than I usually do. Nor
do I ask Him to take away this state, but that if it is His will
it might remain always, that He keep me in His hands that I
might not offend Him; and I conform myself to Him with all
my heart. I believe it is an extraordinary favor He grants me
that I am not always in this condition.
23. One thing amazes me, that, while I'm in this state, with
one word alone of those I'm accustomed to hearing, or one vi-
sion, or a little recollection that lasts for the space of a Hail Mary,
or in approaching to receive Communion, my soul and body
will become very quiet, and my intellect very sound and clear,
and I will feel all the fortitude and desires I usually have. I have
experienced for more than a half year that at least when I am
receiving Communion I noticeably and clearly feel bodily health.
Sometimes I feel this by means of raptures, which occasionally
last more than three hours. At other times I am greatly improved
throughout the whole day. In my opinion this is not a matter
of fancy, because I have observed and taken note of it. As a result,
when I have this recollection I don't fear any illness. It is true
that when I experience the prayer I did before, I do not feel this
improvement.
24. All these things I mentioned make me believe these favors
are from God. For since I know who I was, that I was walking
on the road of perdition, it is certain that in a short while through
these experiences my soul became amazed, not knowing where
these virtues came from. I didn't know myself; I saw they were
something given and not gained through toil. I understand in
all clarity and truthfulness, and know I am not deceived, that
this has been a means by which God not only brought me to
His service but freed me from hell. All of this my confessors to
whom I've made my general confessions know.
Spiritual Testimonies
379
25. Also, when I meet any person who knows something about
me, I want to explain my life to him. For I think it is an honor
to me that our Lord be praised, and I don't care anything about
the rest. He knows this well, or I am very blind; for there is
no honor or life or glory of any good of body or soul that holds
me back, nor would I want or desire my own gain, but only
His glory. I cannot believe the devil sought out so many bless-
ings to win my soul in order that he might afterward lead it
astray, for I don't consider him to be that stupid. Nor can I
believe, though on account of my sins I deserve to be deceived,
that God would fail to hear so many prayers offered up over
a period of two years by so many good people — for I don't do
anything else but ask everyone for prayers — in order that He
would either let me know if this is for His glory or lead me by
another path. I don't believe His divine Majesty would permit
these experiences always to continue if they were not from Him.
26. Since I am so wretched, these things and the teachings
of so many saints give me assurance when I have these fears
about whether or not my experiences are from God. But if when
I'm in prayer or on the days in which I am quiet and my thoughts
are on God, all the learned men and saints in the world were
to join together and torture me with all the torments imaginable,
and I wanted to believe them, I wouldn't be able to make myself
believe that these things come from the devil; for I cannot. When
they wanted to force me to believe that the devil was the cause,
I feared, upon seeing who said this, and I thought they must
be saying the truth and that I, being what I was, was being
deceived. But at the first locution, or experience of recollection,
or vision, all they had told me was blotted out; I couldn't do
anything but believe God was the cause.3
27. Although I can realize the devil could sometimes meddle —
and this is so, as I have seen and said — the effects he causes are
different. And whoever has experience will not be deceived, in
my opinion. Still, I say that even were I to believe an experience
is certainly from God, I wouldn't do anything for any reason
if it didn't seem to the one who has the charge over me that it
would be for the service of our Lord. I have never thought but
that I should obey and not be silent about anything, because
380
St. Teresa of Avila
this is good for me.
28. I am ordinarily reprimanded for my faults, and in such
a way that it touches me to the very core. And when there is
or can be some danger in what I am dealing with, I receive
counsels which are very profitable to me. Often my past sins
are brought to memory and cause me much grief.
29. I have gone on at great length, but it is certainly true that
in regard to the blessings I see in myself when I come out of
prayer I have been brief. Afterward I find that I have many im-
perfections and that I'm useless and very wretched. Perhaps I
don't understand the good things, but am deceived; yet, the dif-
ference in my life is well-known and makes me reflect on what
I have said. In all I've said, I've told what it seems to me I have
truly experienced.
These are the perfect qualities I feel the Lord has wrought
in me who am so wretched and imperfect. I submit everything
to the judgment of your Reverence since you know my entire
soul.
2.
(1562, probably Toledo)1
Detachment and other virtues flowing from God's favors
I think more than a year has passed since I put the above in
writing. God has kept me in His hands throughout that time,
for I haven't become worse; rather, I see much improvement
in what I shall describe. May He be praised for everything.2
2. The visions and revelations have not ceased, but they are
much more sublime. The Lord has taught me a mode of prayer
by which I find I make more progress and have much greater
detachment from the things of this life, with greater courage and
freedom. The raptures have increased. At times they come with
an impulse and in such a way that without my being able to
help myself they are noticeable externally, and they come even
while I am in the company of others. They are of such a kind
that they cannot be concealed, unless — since I suffer from heart
sickness — I let it be thought I'm having some fainting spell.
Although I take great care to resist them at the beginning,
Spiritual Testimonies
381
sometimes I'm unable.
3. In the matter of poverty, I think God has bestowed on me
great favor; for I wouldn't even want to keep what is necessary,
unless it were an alms. And so I have a strong desire to be in
a place where I live only on alms. It seems to me that when I'm
in a place where I'm certain I shall not be lacking food and
clothing, I don't fulfill as perfectly the vow, or the counsel of
Christ, as when I'm where there will be no income and these
things will be sometimes lacking. The blessings gained through
true poverty I think are many, and I wouldn't want to lose them.
I am often aware of a faith within me so great that I think God
cannot fail anyone who serves Him. I know that there never is
or will be any time in which His words will fail; for I cannot
persuade myself otherwise, nor can I fear. So I feel very sad when
they counsel me to have an income; and I turn to God.
4. It seems to me I have much more compassion for the poor
than I used to. I feel such great pity and desire to find relief
for them that if it were up to me I would give them the clothes
off my back. I feel no repugnance whatsoever toward them,
toward speaking to or touching them. This I now see is a gift
given by God. For even though I used to give alms for love of
Him, I didn't have the natural compassion. I feel a very
noticeable improvement in this matter.
5. With regard to gossip about me, which is engaged in by
many and to my detriment, I also experience improvement.
What they say doesn't seem to make any more impression upon
me than it would upon a simpleton, and it seems to me sometimes
or almost always that they are right. I feel so little grief about
it that I still don't think I have anything to offer God. Since I
have experience of the great gain that comes to my soul, I rather
think these things do me good. And so when I go to prayer, no
feelings of hostility toward my critics remain in me. For when
I first hear about some criticism, it causes me a little feeling of
opposition but not disquiet or disturbance. Rather, when I
sometimes see other persons taking pity on me, it happens that
I laugh to myself; for all the insults in this life seem to be of
such little consequence that there is nothing to feel sorry about.
I imagine myself to be going about in a dream, and I see that
382
St. Teresa of Avila
upon awakening it will all amount to nothing.
6. Through visions God gives me more intense desires, a
greater inclination toward solitude, and much greater detach-
ment, as I have said. For they have made me understand what
everything is, and even made me give up friends and relatives,
which is the smallest sacrifice; rather, relatives tire me very much.
Since it's for the purpose of serving God a little more, I give
them up with complete freedom and satisfaction, and so I find
peace everywhere.
7. Some advice I received in prayer turned out to be very true
for me. Thus from the viewpoint of my being favored by God,
I find I'm much improved. But from the viewpoint of my doing
my part to serve Him, I am much more wretched; for I've had
more consolation, because it has been offered — even though it
frequently pains me very much — and done less penance. The
great honor that is shown me is often directly contrary to my
desire.
3.
(Avila, St. Joseph's, 1563)1
General account of her state of soul
It is a little more or less than nine months ago that I wrote
the above, which is in my own handwriting. Since then, not
turning back from the favors God granted me, it seems to me
I have received again, insofar as I understand, much greater
freedom. Up until now, I thought I needed others, and I had
more trust in help from the world. Now, I understand clearly
that all this help is like little sticks of dry rosemary and that in
being attached to it there is no security; for when some weight
of contradiction or criticism comes along, these little sticks break.
So I have experience that the true remedy against a fall is to
be attached to the cross and trust in Him who placed Himself
upon it. I discover that He is the true friend, and through this
friendship I find in myself a dominion by which it seems to me
I could resist, providing God doesn't fail me, anyone who might
be against me.
2. Though now I understand this truth so clearly, I used to
Spiritual Testimonies
383
be very fond of being liked. No longer does being liked matter
to me; rather, it seems in part to weary me, except in the case
of those with whom I discuss my soul or whom I am thinking
of helping. For I desire that the former like me so they might
bear with me and that the latter do so that they might be more
inclined to believe what I tell them about the vanity of everything.
3. In the very severe trials and persecutions and opposition
I experienced these past months,2 God has given me great
courage; and the greater these trials were the greater was the
courage, without my growing tired of suffering. Toward per-
sons who spoke evil of me, not only did I feel I bore no harsh
feelings but it seemed to me I gained new love for them. I don't
know how this came about; it was a blessing given by the hand
of the Lord.
4. It is usually my nature that when I desire something I am
impulsive in my desire for it. Now, my desires bear with them
such quiet that when I see them fulfilled I don't even know if
I rejoice. Sorrow and rejoicing, except in matters of prayer, are
completely softened in intensity; for I seem like a fool and go
around like one for some days.
5. The impulses to do penance that come upon me sometimes,
and have come upon me, are great. And if I do penance, I feel
it so little on account of that strong desire that sometimes it seems
to me — or almost always — that penance is a special favor;
although I don't do much since I am very sickly.
6. It is the greatest pain for me sometimes, and now more
extreme, to have to go to eat, especially when I'm in prayer.
This pain must be great because it makes me weep a good deal
and utter words of distress, almost without being aware of it,
which I usually do not do. However great the trials I have ex-
perienced in this life, I don't recall having said these words. I
am not at all like a woman in such matters, for I have a robust
spirit.
7. I feel in me the greatest desire, more than usual, that God
have persons, especially learned men, who serve Him with com-
plete detachment and who are held back by nothing here below;
because I see it is all a mockery. Since I'm aware of the great
needs of the Church — for these afflict me so much that it seems
384
St. Teresa of Avila
to me silly to feel sorrow about anything else — I don't do anything
but pray to God for these persons. For I see that one person
who is completely perfect would do more good with a true, fer-
vent love of God than many others would with lukewarmness.
8. In matters of faith, I find, in my opinion, that I have much
greater fortitude. It seems to me I would stand up alone against
all Lutherans in order to make them understand their error. I
greatly grieve over the perdition of so many souls. I see many
souls that are advanced, for I know clearly God has desired their
progress by means of me. And I recognize that through His
goodness my soul increases each day in loving Him more.
9. It seems to me that even were I to try to experience vain-
glory I wouldn't be able to, nor do I see how I could think that
any of these virtues are mine. It wasn't long ago that for many
years I saw myself without any. And now for my part I don't
do anything but receive favors, without serving, but as the most
useless thing in the world. So it is that I sometimes reflect how
all are advancing but me, that I am not worth anything. Cer-
tainly this is not humility but truth. And knowing I am so useless,
I sometimes become fearful in thinking I may be deceived. So
I see clearly that from these revelations and raptures — for I play
no part in them nor do I do anything more to receive them than
be a blank tablet — there come to me these benefits. This gives
me assurance and makes me more calm. I place myself in the
arms of God, and I trust in my desires. For these desires, cer-
tainly, I understand are to die for Him and lose all repose, come
what may.
10. There come days in which I recall an infinite number of
times what St. Paul says3 — although assuredly not present in
me to the degree it was in him — for it seems to me I neither
live, nor speak, nor have any desire but that He who strengthens
and governs me might live in me. I go about as though outside
myself, and so life is the severest pain for me. And the greatest
thing I offer God as a principal service to Him is that, since it
is so painful for me to live separated from Him, I desire to live,
but out of love for Him. I should like to live with great trials
and persecutions. Since I am no good for being of any help to
anyone, I should like to be good for suffering so that all who
Spiritual Testimonies
385
are in the world might receive a little more merit, I mean by
a better fulfillment of His will.
1 1 . I haven't experienced any promise in prayer that I haven't
seen fulfilled, even though the promise may have come many
years previously. There are so many things I see and under-
stand about the grandeurs of God, and of His providence, that
almost any time I begin to think about it my intellect fails me,
as when one sees things that are far beyond one's ability to under-
stand; and I remain in recollection.
12. God so guards me against offending Him that I am cer-
tainly sometimes amazed. For I think I see the great care He
takes of me, without my doing hardly anything. I was a sea of
sins and iniquities before receiving these favors, and it seemed
I was not master of myself in such a way that I could avoid them.
The reason I would like this known is that one might have
knowledge of the great power of God. May He be praised forever,
amen.
13. The account that is not in my own handwriting, the one
at the beginning, is the one I gave to my confessor,4 and he
copied it for himself without subtracting or adding anything.
He was a very spiritual man and a theologian with whom I
discussed everything about my soul. And he discussed these mat-
ters with other learned men, among whom was Father Man-
cio.5 They found that none of my experiences was lacking in
conformity with Sacred Scripture. This puts me very much at
peace now, although I understand that as long as God leads me
by this path I must not trust myself in anything. So I have always
consulted others, even though I find it difficult.
Remember that all of this must be kept under the secrecy of
confession, as I begged your Reverence.
4.
(Toledo, Nov. 17, 1569)1
Prophecy of her death
On November seventeenth, during the octave of St. Martin,
in the year 1569, I saw with regard to what I know that twelve
years had gone by out of the thirty- three, which is the number
386
St. Teresa of Avila
of years the Lord lived; so twenty-one still remained.
This happened in Toledo, in the monastery of the glorious
St. Joseph of Carmel.
I for you and you for me.
Life.
Twelve were lived for me and not for my will.
5.
(Toledo, 1570)
God's standards are different from the world's
While I was at the monastery in Toledo, some were advising
me that I shouldn't give a burying-place to anyone who had not
belonged to the nobility. The Lord said to me: "You will grow
very foolish, daughter, if you look at the world's laws. Fix your
eyes on me, poor and despised by the world. Will the great ones
of the world, perhaps, be great before me? Or, are you to be
esteemed for lineage or for virtue?"
(This concerned the advice they gave me not to grant a
burying-place in Toledo to one who did not belong to the
nobility.)1
6.
(Malagon, Feb. 9, 1570)
Our Lord encourages her to make more foundations
and to write their history
Right after I received Communion, on the second day of Lent,
in St. Joseph's at Malagon, our Lord Jesus Christ
appeared to me in an imaginative vision, as He usually does.
While I was gazing upon Him, I saw in place of the crown of
thorns a crown of great brilliance on His head, there where the
wounds must have been made.
Since I am devoted to this episode of the Passion, I was very
much consoled and began to think how great the torment must
have been since there were so many wounds; and I became af-
flicted. The Lord told me that I shouldn't grieve over those
wounds, but over the many that were now inflicted upon Him.
Spiritual Testimonies
387
I asked Him what I could do as a remedy for this because I was
determined to do everything I could. He told me that now was
not the time for rest, but that I should hurry to establish these
houses; that He found his rest with the souls living in them; that
I should accept as many houses as given me since there were
many persons who did not serve Him because they had no place
for it; that those houses I founded in small towns should be like
this one, for, by desire, as much could be merited as in the other
houses;1 that I should strive to put all the houses under the
government of a superior; that I should insist that the interior
peace not be lost through a concern for bodily sustenance; that
He would help us so nothing would be lacking; that the sick
especially should be cared for; that a prioress who did not pro-
vide for and favor the sick was like Job's friends;2 that He
made use of the scourge for the good of souls, and that in such
an event they should practice patience; and that I should write
about the foundation of these houses. I thought of how in regard
to the house at Medina I never understood anything in a way
that I could write of its foundation.3 He told me that that was
all the more reason to write of it since He wanted it to be seen
that the Medina foundation had been miraculous. He meant that
He alone founded that house, since it had seemed absolutely im-
possible to found. And as a result I decided to write about the
founding of these houses.
7.
(Place unknown; perhaps 1570)
A message to be given
While thinking about what I should say regarding a message
the Lord had given me, I didn't understand anything, even
though I prayed to Him. And I thought that the message must
have come from the devil. He told me that this was not so, that
He would advise me when the time came.1
388
St. Teresa of Avila
8.
(Place unknown; perhaps 1570)
Right intention and detachment
Once while thinking of how much more purely one lives when
withdrawn from business affairs and how when I am involved
in them I make poor progress and commit many faults, I heard:
"It cannot be helped, daughter; strive to have the right inten-
tion and to be detached in all things, and look at Me so that
what you do might be done in conformity with what I did."
9.
(Place unknown; probably 1570)
Public raptures
Once while wondering why I almost never had raptures in
public any more, I heard: "It's not necessary now; you have
enough approval for what I intend;1 let us look at the weakness
of the suspicious ones."
10.
(Salamanca or Alba, 1571)
Surrender and joy in God
One day while I was anxiously desiring to help the order, the
Lord told me: "Do what lies in your power; surrender yourself
to me, and do not be disturbed about anything; rejoice in the
good that has been given you, for it is very great; my Father
takes His delight in you, and the Holy Spirit loves you."
11.
(Salamanca, February, 1571)
Take courage, the order of the Blessed Virgin will flourish
One day the Lord told me: "You always desire trials, and on
the other hand you refuse them. I dispose things in conformity
with what I know is your will and not in conformity with your
sensual nature and weakness. Take courage, since you see how
Spiritual Testimonies
389
I help you. I have desired that you win this crown. In your days
you will see the order of the Blessed Virgin flourish."
I heard this from the Lord in the middle of February, 1571 . 1
12.
(Salamanca, April 15-16, 1571)1
Transpiercing of the soul
All day yesterday I felt very lonely, for except when I received
Communion I benefited little ffom the fact that it was Easter
Sunday. At night when I was with all the Sisters, a little song
was sung about how hard it is to endure life without God.2
Since I was already afflicted, the effect upon me was so great
that my hands began to grow numb. My efforts to resist weren't
enough; but just as I am carried out of my senses through the
joyous raptures, so in the same way through extreme affliction
my soul is suspended, for it is left enraptured. And even to the
present day, I haven't understood this. Rather, for some days
it seemed to me that I hadn't been experiencing impulses as great
as I previously had, and now I think the reason is this one I
mentioned. I don't know if it could be that previously the afflic-
tion wasn't great enough to make me go out of myself. Since
it is so intolerable, and I was still in possession of my senses,
it caused me to make loud cries without my being able to avoid
doing so. Now, since the pain has increased, it has reached this
extreme of transpiercing the soul. I have understood better what
our Lady experienced,3 for until today — as I say — I did not
understand the nature of this transpiercing. The body remains
so torn apart that even what I write today causes suffering, for
my hands are as though disjoined and in pain.
2 . Your Reverence can tell me when you see me whether pain
can cause suspension and whether I experience it as it is or
whether I'm being deceived.
3. Even this morning I felt the pain, for while in prayer I ex-
perienced a great rapture. And it seemed that our Lord brought
my spirit next to His Father and said to Him; "This soul You
have given to Me, I give to You." And it seemed the Father took
me to Himself. This was not an imaginative vision, but it caused
390
St. Teresa of Aviia
such great certitude and had a delicacy so spiritual that I don't
know how to describe it at all. He spoke some words I do not
recall; certain of them were about granting me a favor. It was
for some time that He kept me near Him.
4. Since your Reverence went away so quickly yesterday (and
I realize that your many occupations do not allow you time to
be consoling me, even when necessary — for I see that Your
Reverence's duties concern more important things), I remained
afflicted and sad for awhile. Perhaps the loneliness I mentioned
contributed to this. Since I don't think I'm attached to any
creature on earth, I felt some scruple and feared lest I begin to
lose this freedom. This sadness happened last night. And today
our Lord responded and told me I shouldn't be surprised, that
just as human beings desire companionship in order to com-
municate about the joys of their sensual natures so the soul desires
when there is someone who understands it to communicate about
its joys and pains; and it becomes sad when there is no one. He
told me: "He is doing well and his deeds are pleasing to Me."
5. Since our Lord remained some time with me, I recalled
I had told your Reverence that these visions pass away quickly.
He told me there is a difference between this one and the im-
aginative ones and that there couldn't be any fixed rule about
the favors He grants us because sometimes it was fitting that
they take place in one way and at other times in another way.
6. One day after receiving Communion, it seemed most clear
to me that our Lord sat beside me; and He began to console
me with great favors, and He told me among other things: "See
Me here, daughter, for it is I; give Me your hands." And it
seemed He took them and placed them on His side and said:
"Behold My wounds. You are not without Me. This short life
is passing away."
From certain things He told me, I understood that after He
ascended to heaven He never came down to earth to commune
with anyone except in the most Blessed Sacrament.
He told me that immediately after His resurrection He went
to see our Lady because she then had great need and that the
pain she experienced so absorbed and transpierced her soul that
she did not return immediately to herself to rejoice in that joy.
Spiritual Testimonies
391
By this I understood how different was this other transpiercing,
the one of my soul. But what must have been that transpiercing
of the Blessed Virgin's soul! He also said that He had remained
a long time with her because it was necessary in order to con-
sole her.
13.
(Avila, St. Joseph, May 29, 1571)
An intellectual vision of the Blessed Trinity
On the Tuesday following Ascension Thursday, having re-
mained a while in prayer after Communion, I was grieved
because I was so distracted I couldn't concentrate. So I com-
plained to the Lord about our miserable nature. My soul began
to enkindle, and it seemed to me I knew clearly in an intellec-
tual vision that the entire Blessed Trinity was present. In this
state my soul understood by a certain kind of representation (like
an illustration of the truth), in such a way that my dullness could
perceive, how God is three and one. And so it seemed that all
three Persons were represented distinctly in my soul and that
they spoke to me, telling me that from this day I would see an
improvement in myself in respect to three things and that each
one of these Persons would grant me a favor: one, the favor of
charity; another, the favor of being able to suffer gladly; and
the third, the favor of experiencing this charity with an enkindling
in the soul. I understood those words the Lord spoke, that the
three divine Persons would be with the soul in grace;1 for I saw
them within myself in the way described.2
2. While, afterward, thanking the Lord for so great a favor,
finding myself unworthy of it, I asked His Majesty with deep
feeling, why, since he was going to grant me favors like these,
He had allowed me out of His hand to become so wretched?
For on the previous day I had felt great suffering on account
of my sins since they were in my mind. I saw clearly how much
the Lord did on His part, from the time I was a little child, to
bring me to Himself through very efficacious means, and how
I didn't profit by any of them. Hence the excessive love God
has in pardoning us for all this failure when we want to return
392 St. Teresa of Avila
to Him was made clearly manifest to me; and for many reasons
this love was greater in my case than in anybody else's.
3. It seems those three Persons, being only one God, were
so fixed within my soul that I saw that were such divine com-
pany to continue it would be impossible not to be recollected.
There is no need here to put in writing some other experiences
and words that occurred in this state.
4. Once, a little before this, when I was about to receive Com-
munion, and the host was still in the ciborium — for it hadn't
been given to me yet — I saw a kind of dove that was noisily flut-
tering its wings. It so alarmed me and caused suspension of my
faculties that much effort was required to receive the host. This
all happened at St. Joseph's in Avila. Father Francisco de
Salcedo3 gave me the Blessed Sacrament.
5. On another day, while hearing his Mass, I saw the Lord
glorified in the host. He told me that Father Francisco's sacrifice
was pleasing to Him.
14.
(Avila, St. Joseph, June 30, 1571)
Habitual experience of the indwelling Trinity
I have experienced this presence of the three Persons, which
I mentioned at the beginning,1 up to this day which is the feast
of the Commemoration of St. Paul.2 They are very habitually
present in my soul. Since I was accustomed to experience only
the presence of Jesus, it always seemed to me there was some
obstacle to my seeing three Persons, although I understand there
is only one God. And the Lord told me today while I was reflect-
ing upon this that I was mistaken in thinking of things of the
soul through comparison with corporeal things, that I should
know that these spiritual things are very different and that the
soul is capable of great rejoicing. It seemed to me there came
the thought of how a sponge absorbs and is saturated with water;
so, I thought, was my soul which was overflowing with that
divinity and in a certain way rejoicing within itself and possess-
ing the three Persons.
La!so_heardjhe^vyc^^ yourself,!
Spiritual Testimonies
393
but try to hold yourself within Me." It seemed to me that from
within my soul — where I saw these three Persons present — these
persons were communicating themselves to all creation without
fail, nor did they fail to be with me.
15.
(Avila, St. Joseph, July 1571)
Enclosure and the will of God
A few days after the experiences mentioned above, while think-
ing about whether they who thought it was wrong for me to go
out to found monasteries might be right, and thinking that I
would do better to be always occupied in prayer,1 I heard the
words: "While one is alive, progress doesn't come from trying
to enjoy Me more but by trying to do My will."
I thought that their recommendation would be God's will
because of what St. Paul said about the enclosure of women,2
of which I was recently told and had even heard before. The
Lord said to me: "Tell them they shouldn't follow just one part
of Scripture but that they should look at other parts, and ask
them if they can by chance tie my hands."
16.
(Avila, St. Joseph, July 10, 1571)
Prayer for her brother Agustin de Ahumada
One day after the octave of the feast of the Visitation1 while
I was in a hermitage of our Lady of Mt. Carmel praying to God
for one of my brothers,2 I said to the Lord (I don't know,
perhaps I may have just thought it): "Why is my brother in a
place where his salvation is in danger? Were I, Lord, to see Your
brother in this danger, what wouldn't I do to help him!" It seemed
to me that I would have left nothing undone in order to help.
The Lord answered me: "Oh, daughter, daughter! These
Sisters in the Incarnation are My Sisters, and you delay? Well,
take courage; behold I want it, and it isn't as difficult as it seems
to you. And whereas you think some harm will come to your
houses, both they and the Incarnation will benefit. Do not resist,
394
St. Teresa of Avila
for My power is great."3
17.
(Avila, St. Joseph, July 22, 1571)
Desires for death
The desires and impulses for death, which were so strong, have
left me, especially since the feastday of St. Mary Magdalene;
for I resolved to live very willingly in order to render much ser-
vice to God. There is the exception sometimes when no matter
how much I try to reject the desire to see Him, I cannot.
18.
(Avila, St. Joseph, 1571)
Prophecy about St. Joseph's at Avila
Once I heard: "The time will come when many miracles will
be worked in this church; they will call it the holy church." It
was in St. Joseph's at Avila in 1571.
19.
(Probably Avila, 1571)
Penance and obedience
Once while thinking about the severe penance Dona Catalina
de Cardona1 performed and about how because of the desires
for penance the Lord sometimes gives me I could have done more
were it not for obedience to my confessors, I thought it might
be better not to obey them any longer in this matter. The Lord
told me: "That's not so; you are walking on a good and safe path.
Do you see all the penance she does? I value your obedience
more."
20.
(Avila, probably 1571)
Intellectual vision of a soul in grace and in sin
Once while I was in prayer, the Lord showed me by a strange
Spiritual Testimonies
395
kind of intellectual vision what a soul is like in the state of grace.
I saw this (through an intellectual vision) in the company of the
most Blessed Trinity. From this company the soul received a
power by which it had dominion over the whole earth. I was
given an understanding of those words of the Song of Songs that
say: Veniat dilectus meus in hortum suum et comedat.1 I was also
shown how a soul in sin is without any power, but is like a per-
son completely bound, tied, and blindfolded; for although want-
ing to see, such a person cannot, and cannot walk or hear, and
remains in great darkness. Souls in this condition make me feel
such compassion that any burden seems light to me if I can free
one of them. I thought that by understanding this condition as
I did — for it can be poorly explained — it wasn't possible for me
to desire that anyone lose so much good or remain in so much
evil.
21.
(Avila, Incarnation, Jan. 19, 1572)
Her vision of our Lady in the choir of the Incarnation
On the eve of the feast of St. Sebastian, the first year in which
I was prioress at the Incarnation, at the beginning of the Salve
Regina, I saw the Mother of God descend with a great multitude
of angels and sit in the prioress's choir stall where there was a
statue of our Lady. In my opinion I didn't then see the statue
but our Lady herself. It seemed to me she looked something like
she does in the painting the countess gave me;1 although the
power to discern this was quickly taken away, for my faculties
were soon held in great suspension. It seemed to me there were
angels above the canopies of the stalls in the back and above
the front stalls; although they were not in corporeal form, for
this was an intellectual vision.
She remained for the whole of the Salve, and she told me: "You
were indeed right in placing me here;2 I shall be present in the
praises they give my Son, and I shall offer these praises to Him."
2. After this I remained in the kind of prayer I now have,
that of keeping my soul present with the Blessed Trinity. And
it seemed to me that the Person of the Father drew me to Himself
396
St. Teresa of Avila
and spoke very pleasant words. Among them, while showing
me what He wanted, He told me: "I gave you My Son, and the
Holy Spirit, and this Blessed Virgin. What can you give Me?"
22.
(Probably Avila, March 30, 1572)
Eucharistic experience
On Palm Sunday after Communion, my faculties remained
in such deep suspension that I couldn't even swallow the host;
and, holding it in my mouth, after I returned a little to myself,
it truly seemed to me that my entire mouth was filled with blood.
I felt that my face and all the rest of me was also covered with
this blood, as though the Lord had just then finished shedding
it. It seemed to me warm, and the sweetness I then experienced
was extraordinary. The Lord said to me: "Daughter, I want my
blood to be beneficial to you, and don't be afraid that My mercy
will fail you. I shed it with many sufferings, and you enjoy it
with the great delight you are aware of; I repay you well for the
banquet you prepare me this day."
He said this because for more than thirty years I have received
Communion on this day when possible and have striven to
prepare my soul to give hospitality to the Lord. For it seemed
to me cruel of the Jews, after having given Him such an en-
thusiastic reception, to have let Him go so far away to eat; and
I imagined I invited Him to remain with me, which was very
bad lodging for Him, as I now see. Thus I made some foolish
reflections. The Lord must have accepted them, because this
is one of the visions I hold to be very certain; and so the Com-
munion was beneficial to me.
2. Previous to this, I believe for three days, I underwent that
great suffering I bear, sometimes more than at other times, of
being separated from God. During these days it had been very
great, for it seemed I couldn't endure it. Having been in such
anguish, I saw one evening that it was too late to eat supper,
and so I was unable to do so. (Because of the vomitings it made
me very weak not to have my supper earlier.) Thus with great
effort I put the bread in front of me so as to force myself to eat
Spiritual Testimonies
397
it. At once Christ appeared there, and it seemed to me He broke
the bread and was about to place it in my mouth when He said:
"Eat, daughter, and bear up as best you can. What you suffer
grieves me, but it suits you now."
That suffering was taken away and I was consoled, for it tru-
ly seemed that He was with me, and throughout the next day
as well. By this experience the desire for His presence was at
that time satisfied.
The words "grieves me" made me stop to think because it
doesn't seem to me He can be sorrowful over anything any more.
23.
(Place and date uncertain)
Am I not your God
"Why are you disturbed, little sinner? Am I not your God?
Don't you see how badly I was treated there? If you love me,
why don't you grieve for me?"
24.
(Avila, Incarnation, 1572)
True humility — Put my counsels in writing
With regard to the fear about whether or not I was in the state
of grace, He told me: "Daughter, light is very different from
darkness. I am faithful. Nobody will be lost unknowingly. They
who find security in spiritual favors will be deceived. True securi-
ty is the testimony of a good conscience. But people should not
think that through their own efforts they can be in light or that
they can do anything to prevent the night, because these states
depend upon my grace. The best help for holding on to the light
is to understand that you can do nothing and that it comes from
me. For even though you may be in light, at the moment I
withdraw, the night will come. This is true humility: to know
what you can do and what I can do.
"Don't fail to write down the counsels I give you, so that you
don't forget them. Since you want the counsels of men in writing,
why do you think you're losing time by writing down those I
398
St. Teresa of Avila
give you? The time will come when you will need them all."
25.
(Date and place uncertain)
The nature of union
In explaining the nature of union to me, He said:
1 . "Don't think, daughter, that union lies in being very close
to me. For those, too, who offend me are close, although they
may not want to be. Neither does it consist in favors and con-
solations in prayer, even though these may reach a very sublime
degree. Though these favors may come from Me, they are often
a means for winning souls, even souls that are not in the state
of grace."
I was experiencing a lofty elevation of the spirit when I heard
those words. The Lord gave me understanding of what spirit
was and in what state my soul then was and how to understand
the words of the Magnificat, Exultavit spiritus meus.1 I wouldn't
know how to describe this experience. It seems to me I was given
an understanding that the spirit is the higher part of the will.
2. Getting back to union, I understood that it consists in the
spirit being pure and raised above all earthly things so that there
is nothing in the soul that wants to turn aside from God's will;
but there is such conformity with God in spirit and will, and
detachment from everything, and involvement with Him, that
there is no thought of love of self or of any creature.
3. I have thought: if this is union, then we can say of a soul
that invariably has determination like this that it is always in
the prayer of union. It is true that this prayer of union lasts only
a short while. It occurred to me that with respect to walking in
uprightness, meriting, and making progress, union does last;
but it cannot be said that the soul is in union as it is when in
contemplation. It seems to me I understood, although not by
words, that the dust of our misery, faults, and impediments, in
which we again immerse ourselves, is so great that it would be
impossible to have the purity the spirit has when it is joined to
God; for the spirit then leaves and rises above our wretched
misery. And it seems to me that if this experience is union, that
Spiritual Testimonies
is, our will and spirit being thus made one with God's, it is im-
possible for anyone who is not in the state of grace to have it;
for 1 have been told it is. So it would seem to me very difficult,
unless by a special grace from God, to understand when there
is union since we cannot know when we are in the state of grace.
4. Will your Reverence2 write me your opinion and let me
know where I am mistaken, and send this paper back to me.
26.
(Avila, date uncertain)
Do not renounce what awakens love
I read in a book that it was an imperfection to have ornate
paintings. So I didn't want to keep one I had in my cell. Even
before I read this it seemed to me a practice of poverty not to
have any other images than paper ones. And since it was after
J had formed this opinion that I read the above, I had no longer
kept any other kind. And having forgotten about this, [ heard
the following: that what 1 wanted to do was not a good mor-
tification (what was better, poverty or charity?); that since love
was the better, I shouldn't renounce anything that awakened my
love, nor should I take such a thing away from my nuns; that
(he book was talking about the many carvings and adornments
surrounding the picture and not about the picture itself; that
what the devil did among the Lutherans was take away all the
means for awakening love, and so they went astray. ''My Chris-
tians, daughter, must now more than ever do the opposite of
what they do."
I understood that I had a great obligation to serve our Lady
and St. Joseph; for often when I went off the path completely,
God gave me salvation again through their prayers.
27.
(Avila, Incarnation, June 1572)
Spiritual improvement at the Incarnation
On the octave day of Pentecost the Lord granted me a favor
and gave me hope that this house would continue to improve — I
400
St. Teresa of Avila
mean that the souls in it would.
28.
(Avila, Incarnation, July 22, 1572)
A favor on St. Mary Magdalene's feast
On the feast of St. Mary Magdalene the Lord again confirmed
in me a favor He had granted me in Toledo, choosing me in
the place of a certain person who was absent.1
29.
(Avila, Incarnation, Sept. 22, 1572)
Infused knowledge of the Blessed Trinity
One day, after the feast of St. Matthew, being in the state
I'm usually in since I've seen the vision of the Blessed Trinity
and how it dwells in a soul in the state of grace,1 a very clear
understanding of this mystery was granted to me so that in cer-
tain ways and through comparisons I beheld it in an imaginative
vision. Although at other times knowledge of the Blessed Trini-
ty was given me through an intellectual vision, the truth, after
a few days, no longer remained with me so that I could think
about it and find consolation in it, as I can now. And now I
realize that in a similar way I had heard about this truth from
learned men but didn't understand it as I do at present, although
I always believed it without hesitation because I have never had
temptations against the faith.
2. To us ignorant people it appears that all three Persons ol
the Blessed Trinity are — as represented in paintings — in one
Person, as when three faces are painted on one body. And thus
we are so scared away that it seems the mystery is impossible
and that no one should dare think about it. For the intellect Feels
hindered and fears lest it might have doubts about this truth,
and it thereby loses something very beneficial.
3. What was represented to me were three distinct Persons,
for we can behold and speak to each one. Afterward I reflected
that only the Son took human flesh, through which this truth
of the Trinity was seen. These Persons love, communicate with.
Spiritual Testimonies
401
and know each other. Well, if each one is by Himself, how is
it that we say all three are one essence, and believe it? And this
is a very great truth for which I would die a thousand deaths.
In all three Persons there is no more than one will, one power,
and one dominion, in such a way that one cannot do anything
without the others. But no matter how many creatures there are,
there is only one Creator. Could the Son create an ant without
the Father? No, for it is all one power, and the same goes for
the Holy Spirit; thus there is only one all-powerful God and all
three Persons are one Majesty. Could one love the Father without
loving the Son and the Holy Spirit? No, but anyone who pleases
one of these three divine Persons, pleases all three, and the same
goes for anyone who might offend one. Could the Father exist
without the Son or without the Holy Spirit? No, because the
essence is one; and where one is, all three are, for they cannot
be separated. Well, how do we see that the three Persons are
separate, and how did the Son take on human flesh and not the
Father or the Holy Spirit? This I haven't understood. The
theologians know. I know well that in that work so marvellous
all three were present, and I don't get involved in thinking a
lot about this. I immediately conclude my reflection with the
observation that God is all-powerful and that whatever He
wanted to do He did, and thus He will be able to do all He
desires. And when I understand less, I believe more; and this
belief gives me greater devotion. May He be blessed forever.
Amen.
30.
(Place and date uncertain)
Her mission in Carmel
If our Lord hadn't granted me the favors He did, it doesn't
seem to me I would have had the courage for the works that
were done or the strength to support the trials suffered and the
statements and judgments made against me. So after the foun-
dations were begun, the fears I previously had in thinking I was
deceived left me. I grew certain the work was God's, and so I
threw myself into difficult tasks, although always with advice
402
St. Teresa of Avila
and under obedience. As a result I understand that since our
Lord desired to revive the original spirit of this order, and in
His mercy He took me as a means, His Majesty had to provide
me with what I was lacking, which was everything, in order to
get results and better manifest His greatness through so wretched
a thing.
31.
(Avila, Incarnation, Nov. 18, 1572)
Spiritual Marriage
While at the Incarnation in the second year that I was prioress,
on the octave of the feast of St. Martin, when I was receiving
Communion, Father John of the Cross1 who was giving me the
Blessed Sacrament broke the host to provide for another Sister.
I thought there was no lack of hosts but that he wanted to morti-
fy me because I had told him it pleased me very much when
the hosts were large (not that I didn't understand that the size
made no difference with regard to the Lord's being wholly pre-
sent, even when the particle is very small). His Majesty said
to me: "Don't fear, daughter, for no one will be a party to
separating you from Me," making me thereby understand that
what just happened didn't matter. Then He appeared to me in
an imaginative vision, as at other times, very interiorly, and He
gave me His right hand and said: "Behold this nail; it is a sign
you will be My bride from today on. Until now you have not
merited this; from now on not only will you look after My honor
as being the honor of your Creator, King, and God, but you
will look after it as My true bride. My honor is yours, and yours
Mine." This favor produced such an effect in me I couldn't con-
tain myself, and I remained as though entranced. I asked the
Lord either to raise me from my lowliness or not grant me such
a favor; for it didn't seem to me my nature could bear it.
Throughout the whole day I remained thus very absorbed. After-
ward 1 felt great pain, and greater confusion and affliction at
seeing 1 don't render any service in exchange for such amazing
favors.
Spiritual Testimonies
403
32.
(Probably Avila, 1572)
The way of suffering and love
On another day the Lord told me this: "Do you think,
daughter, that merit lies in enjoyment? No, rather it lies in work-
ing and suffering and loving. Haven't you heard that St. Paul
rejoiced in heavenly joys only once and that he suffered often.
Look at my whole life filled with suffering, and only in the inci-
dent on Mount Tabor do you hear about my joy.1 When you
see My Mother holding Me in her arms, don't think she enjoyed
those consolations without heavy torment. From the time Simeon
spoke those words to her,2 My Father gave her clear light to
see what I was to suffer. The great saints who lived in deserts,
since they were guided by God, performed severe penances; and
besides this, they waged great battle with the devil and with
themselves. They spent long periods without any spiritual con-
solation. Believe, daughter, that My Father gives greater trials
to anyone whom He loves more; and love responds to these.
How can I show you greater love than by desiring for you what
I have desired for Myself? Behold these wounds, for your suf-
ferings have never reached this point. Suffering is the way of
truth. By this means you will help me weep over the loss of those
who follow the way of the world, and you will understand that
all your desires, cares, and thoughts must be employed in how
to do the opposite."
2. When I had begun prayer I had such a bad headache I
thought it would be almost impossible to pray. The Lord said
to me: "In this way you will see the reward that comes from suf-
fering, for since you did not have the health to speak with Me,
I have spoken with you and favored you." And so it is certain
that I must have been recollected about an hour and a half. Dur-
ing that time He spoke the above words to me and all the rest.
I was not distracted, but neither did I know where I was; and
I was so happy I don't know how to describe it. My headache
went away — which surprised me — and I was left with a great
desire for suffering.
It is true, at least I haven't heard otherwise, that our Lord
404
St. Teresa of Avila
didn't have any joy in life other than this once, nor did St. Paul.
The Lord also told me I should keep very much in mind the
words He spoke to His apostles, that the servant must not be
greater than the lord.^
33.
(Place uncertain, 1572-1573)
A prophetic vision of victory for her Carmel
I saw a great tempest of trials and that just as the children
of Israel were persecuted by the Egyptians, so we would be
persecuted; but that God would bring us through dry-shod, and
our enemies would be swallowed up by the waves.1
34.
(Beas, 1575)
A spiritual token1
One day when I was staying at our monastery in Beas, our
Lord told me that since I was His bride I should make requests
of Him, for He had promised that whatever I asked He would
grant me. And as a token He gave me a beautiful ring, with
a precious stone resembling an amethyst but with a brilliance
very different from any here on earth, and He placed the ring
on my finger. I write this with confusion at seeing the goodness
of God and my wretched life, for I deserved hell. But, alas,
daughters, pray for me and be devoted to St. Joseph who can
do a great deal. I'm writing this foolishness. . .
35.
(Ecija, Andalusia, May 23, 1575)1
The vow of obedience to Father Gratian
On the second day after Pentecost, while at Ecija,2 a person
was recalling a great favor she had received from our Lord on
the vigil of this feast.3 Desiring to do something very special in
His service, she thought it would be good to promise from that
time on not to hide any fault or sin she had committed in her
Spiritual Testimonies
405
whole life from the one who stood in God's place. Even though
she had made a vow of obedience, this promise seemed to in-
volve something more, because there's no obligation like this
toward one's superiors. And she also promised to do all that this
confessor might tell her — with regard to serious matters, of
course — providing it would not go against her vow of obedience.
And even though keeping this promise was hard for her in the
beginning, she made it.
2. The first reason why she decided to do so was the thought
that she was rendering some service to the Holy Spirit; the sec-
ond was that she chose a person who was a great servant of God
and a learned man, who would help her serve the Lord more.
This learned man knew nothing about the above until some
days after she had made the promise. He was Friar Jerome
Gratian of the Mother of God.
36.
(Beas, April, 1575)
The vow of obedience to Father Gratian
Material having to do with my conscience and soul. Let no
one read it even though I be dead, but give it to the Father Master
Gratian.
IHS
1. In 1575, during the month of April, while I was at the foun-
dation in Beas, it happened that the Master Friar Jerome Gratian
of the Mother of God came there. I had gone to confession to
him at times, but I hadn't held him in the place I had other con-
fessors, by letting myself be completely guided by him. One day
while I was eating, without any interior recollection, my soul
began to be suspended and recollected in such a way that I
thought some rapture was trying to come upon me; and a vision
appeared with the usual quickness, like a flash of lightning.
2. It seemed to me our Lord Jesus Christ was next to me in
the form in which He usually appears, and at His right side stood
Master Gratian himself, and I at His left. The Lord took our
right hands and joined them and told me He desired that I take
this master to represent Him as long as I live, and that we both
406
St. Teresa of Avila
agree to everything because it was thus fitting.
3. I remained with very great assurance that the vision was
from God. The remembrance of the two confessors I had gone
to and followed for a long time and to whom I owed a great deal
made me undecided. The remembrance of one especially made
me put up strong resistance, since it seemed to me I was offen-
ding him; for I had great respect and love for him. In spite of
this I felt assurance from the vision that such an action suited
me, and also comfort coming from the thought that this going
about consulting different minds with different opinions was now
to end. For some, by not understanding me, made me suffer
very much; although I never gave up any of them until either
they moved away or I did, because I thought the fault was mine.
Twice more the Lord returned to tell me in different words not
to fear since He gave Master Gratian to me. So I resolved not
to do otherwise, and I made the proposal within myself to carry
out the Lord's request for the rest of my life, to follow Father
Gratian's opinion in everything as long as it wasn't cleariy of-
fensive to God — and I was certain it would not be; for, accor-
ding to some things I have heard, I believe he has made the same
promise I have made, of doing the more perfect thing in all
matters.
4. I was left with a peace and comfort so great 1 was amazed,
and I felt certain the Lord wanted this, for it doesn't seem to
me the devil could give such great peace and comfort of soul.
It seems to me I remained outside myself in a way 1 don't know
how to describe, but each time I recall this vision I again praise
our Lord and remember that verse which says, Qui po suit fines
suos in pace;1 and I want to be consumed in the praises of God.
It seems to me this promise must be for His glory, and so I
again propose never to make a change.
5. The second day of Pentecost, after this resolution, while
on our way to Seville, we heard Mass in a hermitage in Ecija-
and remained there for siesta. While my companions were in
the hermitage and I was alone in the sacristy there, I began to
think of the wonderful favor the Holy Spirit had granted me on
the vigil of that feast of Pentecost.3 Great desires came over me
to render Him a special service, but I couldn't find anything that
Spiritual Testimonies
407
wasn't done. I recalled that although I had made a vow of obe-
dience, it wasn't of a kind I could obey with perfection; and the
thought came to me that it would be pleasing to the Holy Spirit
to promise what I had proposed in regard to the friar, Father
Jerome. On the one hand it seemed to me I wouldn't be doing
anything by such a promise, and on the other hand it struck
me as something very arduous when I reflected that with
superiors you don't reveal your interior state; and that if you
don't get along well with one superior, there is finally a change,
and another one comes along; and that this promise would mean
remaining without any freedom either interiorly or exteriorly
throughout life.4 And I felt pressed a little, and even very
much, not to go through with it.
6. This very resistance that my thoughts caused in my will
reproached me. It seemed to me there was already something
presenting itself to me that I wasn't doing for God and which
I had always fled. The fact is the difficulty so bothered me I don't
think I did anything in my life, not even in making profession,
over which I felt within myself greater resistance, except when
I left my father's house to become a nun. This resistance was
the reason I didn't consider my love for this Father; but rather,
I then considered the matter as though it regarded a stranger.
Nor did I consider his good qualities, but only whether it would
be good to make this promise for the Holy Spirit. The doubts
that arose as to whether or not it would be of service to God,
I believe, caused me to delay.
7. At the end of a period of battle, the Lord gave me great
confidence so that it seemed to me I made that promise for the
Holy Spirit, and that the Spirit was obliged to give the Father
light so that he in turn might give it to me. It also seemed I was
to recall that it was our Lord Jesus Christ who had given me
the light. And at this point I knelt down and promised that for
the rest of my life I would do everything Master Gratian might
tell me, as long as there was nothing in opposition to God or
my superiors to whom I was obliged. It was my intention that
this would apply only in serious matters so as to avoid scruples;
for example, when I insist with Father Jerome about some trifl-
ing thing in regard to his comfort or mine, and he in turn tells
408
St. Teresa of Avila
me not to speak of it any more. For such insistence implies no
lack of obedience or intention to hide knowingly any of my faults
or sins. And not hiding these also involves more than what one
is obliged to with superiors. In sum, it was my intention to hold
him in the place of God, interiorly and exteriorly.
8. I don't know if I merited, but it seemed to me I did
something great for the Holy Spirit, at least all I knew how; and
so I remained with great satisfaction and happiness, and I have
remained so since then. And although I feared I might be
restricted, I was left with greater freedom; and I was more con-
fident our Lord would grant Father Gratian new favors for this
service I rendered to God and that I might share in them and
receive light in everything.
Blessed be He who created a person who so pleased me that
I could dare do this.
37.
(Place and year uncertain, July 22)
Desire to live and serve the Lord
On the feast of St. Mary Magdalene while I was reflecting
on the friendship with our Lord I'm obliged to maintain and
also on the words He spoke to me about this saint,1 and hav-
ing insistent desires to imitate her, the Lord granted me a great
favor and told me that from now on I should try hard, that I
was going to have to serve Him more than I did up to this point.
This favor gave me the desire not to die so soon, that I might
have time to be occupied in His service, and I was left with strong
determination to suffer.
38.
(Place and date uncertain)
Locution about Father Gratian
One day I was very recollected in recommending Eliseus1 to
God. I heard, "He is my true son, I shall not cease to help him,"
or some words to this effect which I don't remember well.
Spiritual Testimonies
409
39.
(Seville, Aug. 9, 1575)
Establishing a feast of our Lady
On the vigil of St. Lawrence, just after receiving Commu-
nion, my mental faculties were so scattered and distracted I
couldn't help myself, and I began to envy those who live in deserts
and to think that since they don't hear or see anything they are
free of this wandering of the mind. I heard: "You are greatly
mistaken, daughter; rather, the temptations of the devil there
are stronger; be patient, for as long as you live, a wandering
mind cannot be avoided."
2. While I was in this state, there suddenly came upon me
a recollection with an interior light so great it seemed I was in
another world. And my spirit found within itself a very delightful
forest and garden, so delightful it made me recall what is said
in the Song of Songs: Veniat dilectus mens in hortum suum. 1 I saw
my Eliseus there, certainly not in any way black, but with a
strange beauty. On his head was what resembled a garland of
precious stones, and many maidens went before him with bran-
ches in their hands singing songs of praise to God. I didn't do
anything but open my eyes so as to distract myself, and this wasn't
enough to take away my attention. It seemed to me there was
music from small birds and angels in which the soul rejoiced;
although I didn't hear it, but the soul was experiencing that
delight. I observed how there was no other man there. I was
told; "He deserved to be among you, and this whole festival you
see will be had on the day when the feast in praise of my Mother
will be established,2 and hurry if you wish to be where he is."
3. Bringing me great delight, this vision lasted more than an
hour and a half, for J couldn't distract myself; it was different
from other visions. And what I drew from this was love for Eliseus
and a remembrance of him in that beauty. I had feared lest it
be a temptation, for it was impossible that it be the work of my
imagination.
410
St. Teresa of Avila
40.
(Probably Seville, second half of 1575)
God's omnipresence
One time I understood how the Lord was present in all things,
and how in the soul, and I thought of the example of a sponge
which absorbs water.1
41.
(Seville, August, 1575)
The constitutions and the Lord's law
Since my brothers had come and I owe so much to one of them,
I didn't cease being with this one and discussing what was suited
to his soul and state;1 and this all made me weary and uneasy.
While offering these actions to the Lord and thinking I was thus
obliged, I recalled that our constitutions tell us we should keep
away from relatives.2 Thinking about whether I was obliged to
follow these constitutions in this matter, the Lord told me: "No,
daughter, for your institutions must be in conformity with My
law." Indeed, the intention of the constitutions is that there be
no attachment to relatives. And, in my opinion, it tires and
wearies me more to converse with them.
42.
(Seville, Aug. 28, 1575)
Infused knowledge of the Trinity
After having received Communion on the feast of St.
Augustine, I understood — I'm unable to say how — and almost
saw (although it was something intellectual and passed quickly)
how the three Persons of the Blessed Trinity, which I bear im-
printed in my soul, are one. By means of the strangest painting
and a very clear light, I was given an understanding that was
an activity very different from merely holding this truth by faith.
As a result I haven't been able to think of any of the three divine
Persons without thinking of all three. Thus I was reflecting to-
day upon how, since they were so united, the Son alone could
Spiritual Testimonies
411
have taken human flesh; and the Lord gave me understanding
of how although they are united they are distinct. These are
grandeurs which make the soul again desire to be free from this
body that hinders their enjoyment. For although it seems our
lowliness was not meant for understanding anything about them,
the soul, without knowing how, receives incomparably greater
benefit from this understanding even though it lasts only a
moment — than from many years of meditation.
43.
(Seville, Sept. 8, 1575)
Renewal of vows in our Lady's hands
On the feast of the Nativity of our Lady I feel special joy.
When this day comes, I think it's good to renew my vows. And
once while I was about to do so, the Blessed Virgin, our Lady,
appeared to me through an illuminative vision; and it seems to
me I renewed them in her hands and that they were pleasing
to her. This vision remained with me for some days, as though
she were next to me at my left.
44.
(Probably Seville, 1575)
Union with Christ in the Eucharist
One day after having received Communion, I truly thought
my soul was made one with the most sacred Body of the Lord.
He appeared to me and by His presence caused me to make much
progress.
45.
(Seville, late 1575)
The reform of the monastery of Paterna
I was once thinking about whether they were going to send
me to reform a certain monastery, and this troubled me. I heard:
"What do you fear? What can you lose but the lives you have
so often offered me? I shall help you." It happened on a certain
412
St. Teresa of Avila
occasion in such a way that my soul was much satisfied.1
46.
(Seville, late 1575)
An effect of the spiritual marriage
Having spoken one day to a person who had given up a great
deal for God and recalling how I had never given up anything
for Him — nor have I ever served Him in accordance with my
obligation — and considering the many favors he had bestowed
on my soul, I began to grow very anxious. And the Lord said:
"You already know of the epousal between you and Me. Because
of this epousal, whatever I have is yours. So I give you all the
trials and sufferings I underwent, and by these means, as with
something belonging to you, you can make requests of my
Father." Although I had heard we share these, now I had heard
it in such a different way that it seemed I felt great dominion.
The friendship in which this favor was granted me cannot be
described here. It seemed to me the Father accepted the fact of
this sharing; and since then I look very differently upon what
the Lord suffered, as something belonging to me — and it gives
me great comfort.1
47.
(Probably Seville, 1575)
The value of good works
Once while desiring to render some service to our Lord, I was
thinking about how little I was able to do for Him and I said
to myself: "Why, Lord, do You desire my works?" He answered:
"In order to see your will, daughter."
48.
(Seville, perhaps 1575)
The Lord tells her to record His words
Once the Lord granted me light on a matter it pleased me
to know about. Soon afterward I forgot, for I couldn't again
Spiritual Testimonies
413
remember what it was. And while trying to recall it I heard this:
"You already know I sometimes speak to you; don't neglect to
write down what I say; for even though it may not benefit you,
it can benefit others." I was wondering whether I was to be helpful
to others but on account of my sins be lost myself. He said to
me: "Have no fear."
49.
(Probably Seville, 1575)
God's presence in the soul
Once while I was recollected in this company I always bear
with me in my soul, God seemed so present to me that I thought
of St. Peter's words: You are Christ, Son of the Living God.1 For
God was thus living in my soul. This presence is not like other
visions, because it is accompanied by such living faith that one
cannot doubt that the Trinity is in our souls by presence, power,
and essence. It is an extremely beneficial thing to understand
this truth. Since I was amazed to see such majesty in something
so lowly as my soul, I heard: "It is not lowly, daughter, for it
is made in My image." I also understood some things about why
God delights to be with souls more than with other creatures.
These matters were so subtle that even though my intellect
understood them immediately, I shall not be able to explain them.
50.
(Seville, probably 1575)
Father Gratian's health
Having been so distressed over our Father's health that I
couldn't be at peace, and begging the Lord very emphatically
one day after Communion that since He had given our Father
to me He not allow me to be without him, the Lord told me:
"Don't be afraid."
414
St. Teresa of A Vila
51.
(Seville, 1575)
The indwelling of the Blessed Trinity
Once while with this presence of the three Persons that I carry
about in my soul, I experienced so much light you couldn't doubt
the living and true God was there. In this state He gave me
understanding of things I didn't know how to speak of afterward.
Among them was how the Person of the Son, and not the others,
took flesh. As I say, I wouldn't know how to explain any of these
things. For some of them take place so secretly in the soul that
it seems the intellect understands as in the case of a person who
while sleeping or half asleep thinks that what is spoken is
understood within. I was reflecting upon how arduous a life this
is that deprives us of being always in that wonderful company,
and I said to myself, "Lord, give me some means by which I
can put up with this life." He replied: "Think, daughter, of how
after it is finished you will not be able to serve me in ways you
can now. Eat for Me and sleep for Me, and let everything you
do be for Me, as though you no longer lived but I; for this is
what St. Paul was speaking of."1
52.
(Probably Seville, 1575)
Deep secrets revealed in Communion
Once after receiving Communion I was given understanding
of how the Father receives within our soul the most holy Body
of Christ, and of how 1 know and have seen that these divine
Persons are present, and of how pleasing to the Father this of-
fering of His Son is, because He delights and rejoices with Him
here — let us say — on earth. For His humanity is not present with
us in the soul, but His divinity is. Thus the humanity is so
welcome and pleasing to the Father and bestows on us so many
favors. I understood that He also receives this sacrifice from the
priest who is in sin, except that He doesn't grant to his soul the
favors He grants to those who are in the state of grace. But the
reason for this isn't because these influences proceeding from
Spiritual Testimonies
415
this communication, by which the Father receives this sacrifice,
lose their force, but because of a lack on the part of the one receiv-
ing it; just as the lack is not on the part of the sun when it fails
to shine on a piece of pitch as it does on crystal, but on the part
of the pitch. If I could now describe this, I would give a better
explanation. It is important to know the nature of this com-
munication, for there are deep interior secrets revealed when
one receives Communion. It is a pity that these bodies of ours
do not let us enjoy them.
53.
(Seville, Nov. 8, 1575)
Intellectual vision of the Lord's nearness
On the octave day of All Saints I spent two or three very
troublesome days over the remembrance of my great sins and
because of some fears of my being persecuted that had no foun-
dation, except that false testimony was going to be raised.1 And
all the courage I usually have for suffering left me. Although
I wanted to encourage myself, and I made acts and reflected
that this suffering would be very beneficial to my soul, all these
actions helped me little. For the fear didn't go away, and what
I felt was a vexing war. I chanced upon a letter in which my
good Father2 refers to what St. Paul says, that God does not
permit us to be tempted beyond what we can suffer/' That
comforted me a lot, but it wasn't enough. Rather, the next day
I became sorely afflicted in seeing I was without him, since I
had no one to whom I could have recourse in this tribulation.
It seemed to me I was living in great loneliness, and this loneliness
increased when I saw that there was no one now but him who
might give me comfort and that he had to be absent most of
the time, which was a great torment to me.1
2. On the next night, while reading in a book a saying of St.
Paul which began to console me, I was thinking of how present
our Lord had previously been to me, for He had so truly seemed
to be the living God. While I was thinking about this, He ap-
peared in an intellectual vision, very deep within me, as though
on the side where the heart is, and said: "Here I am, but I want
416
St. Teresa of Avila
you to see what little you can do without Me."
3. I felt reassured right away, and all my fears were gone.
While I was at Matins that same night, the Lord, through an
intellectual vision so intense it almost seemed to be an imaginative
one, placed Himself in my arms as in the painting of the fifth
agony.5 This vision caused me great fear. For it was so clear,
and He was so close to me that I wondered if it was an illusion.
He told me: "Don't be surprised by this, for My Father is with
your soul in an incomparably greater union."
This vision has so remained up till now. What I said of our
Lord lasted more than a month. Now it is gone.
54.
(Seville, 1575)
Vision of Father Gratian
One night I was very distressed because it had been a long
time since I had heard from my Father, and he had not been
well when he last wrote. My affliction though was not like it had
been when I first heard of his illness; for now I had confidence,
and I was never as distressed as I had been the first time.1 But
my concern hindered my prayer. He suddenly appeared to me,
and in such a way that it couldn't have been my imagination.
For a light appeared in the interior of my soul, and I beheld
him coming along the road, happy and with a white countenance.
Although by reason of the light by which I saw he had to have
a white countenance, it seems to me that so do all those who
are in heaven. And I wondered if the light and brilliance that
comes from our Lord makes them white. 1 heard: "Tell him to
begin at once without fear, for his is the victory."
2. The day after he came, while I was praising our Lord at
night for having granted me so many favors, the Lord said to
me: "What do you ask of Me, my daughter, that I do not do?"
Spiritual Testimonies
417
55.
(Seville, Nov. 21, 1575)
The feast of the Presentation of our Lady in the temple
On the day the brief was presented,1 while I was anxiously
waiting, I was all troubled and couldn't even pray vocally. For
they had come to tell me our Father's life was in danger. It wasn't
allowed for him to leave the monastery and there were so many
rumors. I heard these words: "O woman of little faith! Be calm,
for things are going very well."
2. It was the feast of the Presentation of our Lady, in the year
1575. I resolved within myself that if the Virgin would obtain
from her Son that we see both our Father and ourselves freed
from these friars, I would ask our Father for an indult that in
all of our monasteries of the discalced nuns this feast could be
celebrated with solemnity.
3. When I made this resolve I didn't recall what I had heard
in the vision I'd seen, that the Father would establish a feast.'
Now in turning back to read this little notebook, I have wondered
if the feast could be this one of the Presentation.
56.
(Seville, 1575 or 1576)
Infused understanding of a Magnificat verse
While in prayer one day, I felt my soul to be so deep in God
that it didn't seem there was a world; but while immersed in
Him, understanding of that Magnificat verse, et exultavit
spiritus,1 was given to me in such a way I cannot forget it.
57.
(Seville, spring, 1576)
Revelation about the survival of her Carmel
I was once thinking about their desire to suppress this
monastery of discalced nuns, and of whether it was their inten-
tion little by little to put an end to them all. I heard: "They are
attempting this, but will not succeed — on the contrary."
418
St. Teresa of Avila
58.
(Seville, 1576)
Account of her spiritual life for the Inquisitor of Seville1
Forty years ago this nun took the habit. And from the begin-
ning she has turned her thoughts to the mysteries and the
Passion of our Lord and to her sins without ever thinking about
supernatural experiences; rather, she has thought about how
quickly creatures or things come to an end. And she has spent
some periods of the day reflecting on these matters without it
even passing through her mind to desire anything more, for her
opinion of herself has been such that she has seen that she doesn't
deserve even to think about God.
2. She spent about twenty-two years in this way with great
dryness, devoting time also to reading good books. It was eight-
een years ago that she began to discuss — about three years before
the actuality — her first monastery of discalced nuns which she
founded in Avila. For, as it seemed to her, she began sometimes
to receive interior locutions, and she saw some visions and ex-
perienced revelations. She never saw anything, nor has seen
anything, of these visions with her bodily eyes. Rather, the
representation came like a lightning flash, but it left as great an
impression upon her and as many effects as it would if she had
seen it with her bodily eyes, and more so.
3. She was terrified, for sometimes she didn't even dare re-
main alone during the day. Since she couldn't avoid the ex-
periences no matter how much she tried, she went about ter-
ribly afflicted, fearing lest she be deceived by the devil. She began
to discuss the matter with spiritual persons of the Society of Jesus,
among whom were: Father Araoz2 who happened to go to
Avila, for he was the commissary of the Society of Jesus; Father
Francis,5 with whom she spoke twice, who had been duke of
Gandfa; a provincial of the Society, named Gil Gonzalez,1 who
is now in Rome and one of the four counselors; also the present
provincial of Castile, although she did not speak so much with
him; Baltasar Alvarez/1 who is now rector in Salamanca and
who was her confessor for six years; the rector at Cuenca, named
Salazar;b and, not for long, the rector at Segovia, named San-
Spiritual Testimonies
419
tander;7 the rector at Burgos, whose name is Ripalda,8 who
was even very unfavorable to her until she talked with him; Doc-
tor Pablo Hernandez of Toledo,9 who was a consultant to the
Inquisition; and another, Ordonez,10 who was rector at Avila.
In short, wherever she went she sought out those who were most
esteemed.
4. She spoke frequently with Friar Peter of Alcantara,11 and
it was he who did a great deal for her.
5. During this time (for more than six years), she was put to
the test, shed many tears, and underwent much affliction; and
the greater the trials the more favors she received. Often she
experienced suspension of the faculties while in prayer, and even
outside of it. Many prayers were said and Masses offered that
God might lead her by another path, for she had the greatest
fear when she was not in prayer, although in all things touching
upon the service of God she clearly understood there was im-
provement, and no vainglory or pride. On the contrary, she felt
embarrassed before those who knew about the favors, and regret-
ted speaking about these favors more than she did speaking about
her sins; for it seemed to her that her confessors would laugh
at her and attribute these favors to the foolish things of women.
6. It was about thirteen years ago, a little more or less, that
the Bishop of Salamanca went there, for he was the Inquisitor,
I believe, in Toledo and had been here.12 For the sake of
greater assurance she arranged to speak with him and gave him
an account of everything. He told her this whole matter was
something that didn't belong to his office because all that she
saw and understood strengthened her ever more in the Catholic
faith. For she always was and is firm in the faith, and she ex-
periences the strongest desires for the honor of God and the good
of souls. These desires are such that for one soul she would allow
herself to be killed many times. Since he saw she was so con-
cerned, he told her she should write to Master Avila13 — who
was alive — a long account of everything, for he was a man who
understood much about prayer; and that with what he would
write her, she could be at peace. She did so, and he replied giv-
ing her much assurance. Her account14 was of such a kind that
all the learned men who saw it — for they were her confessors —
420
St. Teresa of Avila
said it was very helpful for information about spiritual things.
They ordered her to make a copy and write another little book
for her daughters13 in which she could give some counsels, for
she was prioress.
7. In spite of all this, she was not without fears at times, and
it seemed to her that spiritual people could be deceived as well
as she. She wanted to speak with very learned men, even though
they might not be given to prayer, for she only wanted to know
whether all her experiences were in conformity with Sacred Scrip-
ture. And she was sometimes consoled, thinking that even though
she may have deserved to be deceived because of her sins, God
would not permit so many persons to be deceived since they
desired to give her light.
8. With this thought in mind she began to discuss these favors
with Dominican Fathers because previous to such experiences
she often had these Fathers as confessors. The following are the
ones whom she consulted. Friar Vicente Barron16 was her con-
fessor for a year and a half in Toledo, when she was there for
a foundation, for he was consultant to the Inquisition and a very
learned man. He gave her much assurance. (And all of them
told her that since she didn't offend God and knew she was
wretched, she had nothing to fear.) The Master, Friar Domingo
Bariez17 (who is now consultant to the Holy Office in
Valladolid) was her confessor for six years, and she always kept
in contact with him by letter when something new presented
itself. She consulted with Master Chaves.18 Besides Friar Dom-
ingo Banez, she consulted Friar Pedro Ibariez,14 who was then
a professor in Avila and a most learned man; and another
Dominican whose name was Friar Garcia de Toledo.20 She
consulted the Father Master, Friar Bartolome de Medina,21
who has a professor's chair at Salamanca, and who she knew
had a very bad opinion of her because he had heard about these
experiences. And she thought he better than anyone would tell
her if she were being deceived. She consulted him a little more
than two years ago when she came to Salamanca. She arranged
to go to confession to him and gave him a long account of
everything, and she provided that he see what she had written
so that he might understand her life better. He assured her very
Spiritual Testimonies
421
much — more than all of them — and became her close friend.
She also made her confession for a time to the Father Master,
Friar Felipe de Meneses,22 when she went to Valladolid for a
foundation and he was the prior or rector of that College of St.
Gregory. Having heard about these things, he went with great
charity to speak to her in Avila, wanting to know if she was be-
ing deceived, and pointing out that if she wasn't, there was no
reason for so much criticism of her; and he was very satisfied.
She also took the matter up with a Dominican provincial, nam-
ed Salinas,23 who was a very spiritual man and a great servant
of God; and with another professor, now in Segovia, named Friar
Diego de Yanguas,24 who has a truly keen mind.
9. During so many years in which she was subject to those
fears, she had the opportunity to consult with others, especially
since she went to so many places for foundations. They all tested
her because they all wanted to be certain in giving her light;
by this light they assured her and were assured themselves.
10. She ever was and ever is subject to all that the holy Catholic
faith holds, and all her prayer and the prayer in the houses she
has founded is for the increase in the faith. She used to say that
if any of her experiences were to induce her to turn against the
Catholic faith or the law of God, she would have no need to go
in search of proof, for then she would see it was the devil.
1 1 . She never did anything based on what she understood in
prayer. Rather, if her confessors told her to do the contrary,
she did it immediately, and always informed them about
everything. She never believed so decidedly that an experience
was from God that, no matter how much they told her it was,
she would swear to the fact; although by reason of the effects
and great favors that were granted her in some matters, the ex-
perience may have seemed to her to be from the good spirit.
But she always desired virtues, and this desire she urged upon
her nuns, saying that the most humble and mortified would be
the most spiritual.
12. What she has written25 she gave to the Father Master,
Friar Domingo Banez, who is in Valladolid. For it is with him
that she more often discusses and has discussed these experiences.
She thinks he has presented her written account to the Holy
422
St. Teresa of Avila
Office in Madrid.26 In all of it she submits to the correction of
the Catholic faith and of the Church. No one has blamed her,
for these experiences are not within anyone's power; and our
Lord doesn't ask the impossible.
13. Since an account was given to so many because of the great
fear she was undergoing, many of these experiences were told
around, which was for her an extraordinary torment and cross.
She says that this suffering was not caused by humility but by
the fear that these things would be attributed to women's fancy.
She went to the extreme of not submitting herself to the judg-
ment of any person who she thought believed that everything
was from God, for she feared that then the devil would deceive
both him and her. She discussed her soul more willingly with
anyone who she saw was more fearful, although it also caused
her grief to deal with those who completely despised these
experiences — they did so to try her — for some of these seemed
to her to be very much from God. And she did not want them
to give definite condemnation of the experiences simply because
they didn't see any reason for them. Nor did she want them to
act as though everything were from God, for she understood very
well that there could be some deception. For this reason it never
seemed to her that she could have complete assurance where there
could be danger. She tried as hard as she could not to offend
God in anything and always to obey. By these two means she
thought she could free herself even if her experience were from
the devil.
14. From the time she began to receive supernatural ex-
periences, her spirit was always inclined to seek what was most
perfect, and it almost habitually had great desires for suffering.
In persecutions — for she experienced many — she found consola-
tion and a special love for her persecutors. There was a great
desire for poverty and solitude, and to leave this exile so as to
see God. Because of these effects and other similar ones, she
began to grow calm since it seemed to her that a spirit that left
these virtues in her would not be bad. And those with whom
she discussed this idea agreed. However, this thought didn't make
her stop fearing; but it did help her to advance with less worry.
Never did her spirit persuade her to hide anything, but always
Spiritual Testimonies
423
to obey.
15. She never saw anything with her bodily eyes, as has been
said. But what she saw was so delicate and intellectual that
sometimes at the beginning she thought she had imagined it;
at other times she couldn't think such a thing. Nor did she ever
hear with her bodily ears — except twice; and these times she
didn't hear what was being said, nor did she know.
16. These experiences were not continual, but only came
sometimes when there was a need, as once when she endured
for some days certain unbearable interior torments and a distur-
bing inner fear about whether the devil was deceiving her, as
is explained more at length in the account of her life and also
of her sins, in which her sins were made public as were her other
experiences. That time, her fear made her forget her worth. And
while in this indescribable state of affliction, merely by hearing
the words within, "It is I, do not be afraid," the soul was left
so quiet and courageous and confident that it couldn't unders-
tand where such a great blessing came from. For neither her
confessor nor many learned men with many words sufficed to
give her that peace and quiet that were given with these words;
nor did these learned men suffice at other times, until she was
strengthened by some vision. Without this strength she would
have been unable to suffer such great trials, contradictions, and
sicknesses, which have been without number. And it happens
that she is never without some kind of suffering. There is more
and less of it; but ordinarily there are always pains with much
other sickness, although since she has been a nun she has been
afflicted with more suffering.
17. If some service she renders the Lord or the favors He grants
her suddenly come to mind, even though she frequently recalls
the favors, she cannot think of them for long as she can of her
sins, which are always tormenting her like foul-smelling mud.
That she committed so many sins and served God so little must
be the reason she is not tempted to vainglory.
18. She was never persuaded concerning any spiritual ex-
perience of hers unless it was completely clean and chaste, and
there was above all a great fear of offending God our Lord and
the desire to do His will in everything. This latter she begs of
424
St. Teresa of Avila
Him always. And in her opinion she is so determined not to turn
from His will that there is nothing her confessors or superiors
might tell her about what they think would be of service to God
that she would fail to carry out, confident that the Lord helps
those who are resolved to render Him service and glory.
19. Relative to this service, she no more thinks of herself or
of her own gain than if she did not exist, insofar as she and her
confessors understand concerning herself. Everything on this
paper is the full truth, and your Reverence can check with her
confessors if you want, and with all the persons who have dealt
with her during the past twenty years. Very habitually, her spirit
moves her to the praises of God; and she would want everyone
to be praising Him even were this to cost her a great deal. That
all be praising Him is the source of her desire for the good of
souls. And upon seeing how the exterior things of this world are
like dung, and how precious the interior are — for the two are
incomparable — she has come to have little esteem for the things
of the world.
20. The kind of vision your Reverence asked me about is a
kind in which nothing is seen, neither interiorly nor exteriorly,
because the vision is not an imaginative one. But without see-
ing anything, the soul understands who it is — and even where
the representation is — more clearly than if it saw the person,
except that nothing in particular is represented. It's as though
we were to feel that another is beside us, and because it is dark
don't see that person; yet certainly we know the other is there.
However this comparison is insufficient, for one who is in
darkness knows in some way, either by hearing a noise or hav-
ing seen the person before, that someone is there, or knows it
from previous knowledge. Here, there is nothing of this; but
without any exterior or interior word, the soul understands most
clearly who it is and where He is, and sometimes the meaning.
Where these visions come from, or how, the soul doesn't know;
but they happen in this way, and while they last they cannot
be ignored. When one of these visions is taken away, no matter
how much the soul wants to imagine it as it was, its efforts are
to no avail because what it forms is seen to be something im-
agined and not a presence; for this presence is not in its power
Spiritual Testimonies
425
to produce. And so it is with all the supernatural experiences.
This inability to produce them is why individuals to whom God
grants such a favor don't consider themselves to be anything,
for they see that their experience is a gift and that the soul can
neither add nor subtract anything. And this leaves the soul with
much more humility and much more love of always serving this
Lord, so powerful that He can do what we cannot even under-
stand. However much learning one may have, there are things
that cannot be grasped.
May He who grants this vision be blessed forever and ever,
amen.
59.
(Seville, 1576)1
The degrees of infused prayer
These inner spiritual experiences are difficult to speak about,
and still more so when one wants to speak of them intelli-
gibly. If this writing were not done under obedience, one would
be lucky to succeed especially in matters so hard to explain. But
such success makes little difference since these words are destined
for one who knows other more foolish things about me.
I beg your Reverence to realize that in all things I say it is
not my intention to think I am stating them correctly, for I could
be mistaken. But what I can certify is that I shall not mention
anything I have not sometimes, or many times, experienced.
Whether what I say is correct or incorrect, your Reverence may
discern and inform me.
2. It seems to me it would be pleasing to your Reverence if
from the beginning I started to deal with supernatural ex-
periences, for there is already understanding of the devotion,
tenderness, tears, and meditations we can ourselves, with the
help of the Lord, procure here below.
3. The first prayer2 I experienced that in my opinion was
supernatural (a term I use for what cannot be acquired by ef-
fort or diligence, however much one tries, although one can
dispose oneself for it which would help a great deal) is an interior
recollection felt in the soul. For it appears that just as the soul has
426
St. Teresa of Avila
exterior senses it also has other interior senses through which
it seems to want to withdraw within, away from the outside noise.
So, sometimes this recollection draws these exterior senses after
itself, for it gives the soul the desire to close its eyes and not hear
or see or understand anything other than that in which it is then
occupied, which is communion with God in solitude. In this state
none of the senses or faculties are lost, for all are left intact. But
they are left that way so that the soul may be occupied in God.
And this explanation will be easy to understand for anyone to
whom the Lord has granted this prayer; and for those to whom
He has not, there will be need at least for many words and
comparisons.
4. A very pleasing interior quiet and peace sometimes flow from
this recollection, so that it doesn't seem to the soul it is lacking
anything. Even speaking tires it, I mean reciting vocal prayer
and meditating. All it wants is to love. This quiet lasts a short
while, and even a longer while.
5. From this prayer there usually proceeds what is called a
sleep oj the faculties , for they are neither absorbed nor so suspended
that the prayer can be called a rapture. Although this prayer
is not complete union, the soul sometimes, and even often,
understands that the will alone is united, and this is known very
clearly; I mean it is clear in the soul's opinion. The will is com-
pletely occupied in God, and it sees it lacks the power to be en-
gaged in any other work. The other two faculties are free for
business and works of service of God. In sum, Martha and Mary
walk together. I asked Father Francis5 if this experience could
be deceiving because it puzzled me, and he told me that the ex-
perience is a frequent one.
6. When there is union of all the faculties, things are very dif-
ferent because none of them is able to function. The intellect
is as though in awe; the will loves more than it understands,
but it doesn't understand in a describable way whether it loves
or what it does; there is no memory at all, in my opinion, nor
thought; nor even during that time are the senses awake, but
they are as though lost, that the soul might be more occupied
in what it enjoys. This union passes quickly. By the wealth of
humility and other virtues and desires left in the soul, one discerns
Spiritual Testimonies
427
the great good that comes to one through that favor. But what
the union is cannot be described, for even though the soul is
given understanding, it doesn't know how it understands or how
to describe it. In my opinion, if this experience is authentic, it
is the greatest favor our Lord grants along this spiritual path,
at least among the greatest.
7. Rapture and suspension^ in my opinion, are both the same.
But I am used to saying suspension in order to avoid saying rap-
ture, a word that frightens. And indeed the union just described
can also be called suspension. The difference between rapture
and union is this: the rapture lasts longer and is felt more ex-
teriorly, for your breathing diminishes in such a way that you
are unable to speak or open your eyes. Although this diminishing
of these bodily powers occurs in union, it takes place in this prayer
with greater force, because the natural heat leaves the body, going
I don't know where. When the rapture is intense (for in all these
kinds of prayer there is a more and a less), when it is greater,
as I say, the hands are frozen and sometimes stretched out like
sticks, and the body remains as it is, either standing or kneel-
ing. And the soul is so occupied with rejoicing in what the Lord
represents to it that it seemingly forgets to animate the body and
leaves the body abandoned; and if the suspension lasts, the nerves
are left aching.
8. It seems to me the Lord here wants the soul to understand
more of what it enjoys in the union. So some things about His
Majesty are usually revealed to it in the rapture. And the ef-
fects left in the soul are great, and there is a forgetfulness of self
in the desire that so tremendous a Lord and God be known and
praised. In my opinion, if the suspension is from God the soul
cannot remain without a deep awareness of its inability to do
anything there and of its great misery and ingratitude for not
having served Him who solely out of His goodness grants it such
a wonderful favor. For the feeling and sweetness are so excessive
that if the remembrance of them didn't pass away, all the com-
parable satisfactions here on earth would ever be nauseating to
the soul. As a result, it comes to have little esteem for all the
things of the world.
9. The difference between rapture and transport is that in rap-
428
St. Teresa of A vita
ture the soul only gradually dies to these exterior things and loses
its senses and lives to God. The transport comes swiftly through
some knowledge the Lord gives in the soul's intimate depths that
makes it seem to the soul that its higher part is being carried
away; for in its opinion this higher part leaves the body. So
courage is necessary in the beginning for the soul to surrender
itself into the arms of the Lord to go wherever He may want
to bring it. Because until His Majesty places it in peace where
He desires to bring it (I say "bring it" by which is understood
to lofty things), there is certainly need to be determined to die
for Him. For the poor soul doesn't know what that experience
is, I mean at the beginning.
10. The virtues, in my opinion, are left much stronger from
this experience, for the soul desires and devotes itself more en-
tirely to understanding the power of this great God in order to
fear and love Him. Without our being able to resist, He carries
the soul away; indeed, as its Lord. It is left with deep repent-
ance for having offended Him, and fright at how it dared to of-
fend such great Majesty, and intense longing that no one of-
fend Him but that all praise Him. I think those extraordinary
desires for the salvation of souls, and for taking part in this work,
and that God might be praised as He deserves must come from
this experience.
11. The flight of the spirit is something I don't know what to
call that rises up from the most intimate part of the soul. I only
remember the following comparison, which I put down in that
place your Reverence knows of where these kinds of prayer and
others are explained at length;5 and my memory is such that I
quickly forget. I think the soul and the spirit must be one, but
that like a fire that is great and has been getting ready to start
blazing, so the soul, through the readiness it has from God does
suddenly begin to blaze and shoot forth a flame reaching high
in the air, even though the flame is just as much fire as that which
remains beneath. This flame doesn't cease to be fire just because
it rises up. So here in the soul it seems something is produced
so suddenly and delicately that it rises up to the superior part
and goes wherever the Lord wills. This cannot be explained any
further. It seems to be a flieht. for I don't know what else to
Spiritual Testimonies
429
compare it to. I know it is recognized very clearly and that it
cannot be stopped.
12. It seems that that little bird, the spirit, escapes from the
misery of the flesh and the prison of this body, and thus it can
be more occupied in what the Lord gives it. What He gives is
something so delicate and so precious, from what the soul
understands, that there doesn't seem to be any illusion in it or
in any of these things when they take place. Afterward there were
fears, since the one who received this favor was so wretched that
everything seemed to give reason for fearing; although in the
interior of the soul there remains a certitude and security that
enables one to live, but not to set aside any efforts against being
deceived.
13. An impulse is what I call a desire that sometimes comes
upon the soul, and even very habitually, without any preceding
prayer. But suddenly there comes to it a remembrance of its
separation from God, or of some word it hears that refers to this
separation. This remembrance is so powerful and has such force
sometimes that in an instant the soul seems to be beside itself.
It's as though you were suddenly given some unknown and very
painful news, or like a great and sudden shock that takes away
the mind's discursive power to console itself; the mind remains
as if absorbed. So it is here, except that the pain serves such
a purpose that the soul comes to know that the purpose is worth
dying for.
14. The fact is that it seems everything the soul understands
then adds to its pain, and that the Lord doesn't want it to profit
in its entire being from anything else. Nor does its will appear
to be alive, but it seems to be in so great a solitude and so for-
saken by all that this abandonment cannot be described in
writing. For the whole world and its affairs give it pain, and
no created thing provides it with company, nor does it want any
company but only the Creator; and it sees that having such com-
pany is impossible unless it dies. Since it must not kill itself, it
so dies with the longing to die that there is true danger of death;
and it finds itself as though hanging between heaven and earth.
It doesn't know what to do with itself. And from time to time
God gives it a knowledge of Himself in a strange and in-
430
St. Teresa of Avila
describable way so that it might see what it is missing. There
is no knowledge on earth, at least of what I have received, equal
to this divine knowledge. In the half hour this prayer lasts, there
is sufficient time to leave the body so disjoined and the arms
so straight that the hands can't even write; and the pains are
most severe.
15. Nothing of this is felt until that impulse passes. The soul
has enough to do in experiencing what is happening interiorly.
Nor do I believe it would feel heavy bodily torments. Yet it is
in possession of its senses, and it can speak and even see — but
not walk because the forceful blow of love prostrates it. But unless
God gives this impulse nothing is gained even were one to die
for it. It leaves the greatest effect and improvement in the soul.
Some learned men explain it one way, others another way; none
of them condemns it. The Master Avila wrote me that it was
good,'' and so says everyone. The soul understands clearly that
this impulse is a great favor of the Lord. Were it very frequent
one's life would not last long.
16. In the ordinary impulse there comes this extremely tender
desire to serve God, along with tearful wishes to leave this ex-
ile. But since there is freedom for the soul to consider that ii
is the Lord's will that it go on living, it is consoled by this thought
and offers Him its own life, begging Him that it be for no pur-
pose other than His glory. With this thought the soul can con-
tinue on.
17. Another type of prayer quite frequent is a kind of wound
in which it seems as though an arrow is thrust into the heart,
or into the soul itself. Thus the wound causes a severe pain which
makes the soul moan; yet, the pain is so delightful the soul would
never want it to go away. This pain is not in the senses, nor
is the sore a physical one; but the pain lies in the interior depths
of the soul without resemblance to bodily pain. Yet, since the
experience cannot be explained save through comparisons, these
rough comparisons are used (I mean rough when compared to
what the experience is); but I don't know how to describe it any
other way. For this reason these are not things to be written about
or spoken of, because it's impossible to understand them unless
one has experienced them. I mention the interior depths this
Spiritual Testimonies
431
pain reaches, because spiritual sufferings are extremely different
from physical ones. From this fact I deduce how much greater
the sufferings of souls in hell and purgatory are than what can
be understood of them from bodily sufferings here on earth.
18. At other times, it seems this wound of love rises out of
the intimate depths of the soul. Its effects are great. And when
the Lord does not provide a remedy, there is none, no matter
how much the soul strives to procure one. Nor can the soul resist
when the Lord is pleased to provide a remedy. These wounds
are like some longings for God, indescribably alive and refined.
Since the soul sees it is bound in such a way that it cannot enjoy
God as it would like, a great abhorrence for the body comes over
it. The body seems like a thick wall impeding the enjoyment
of what the soul, in its opinion, knows it possesses within itself
at that time without the hindrance of its body. Then it sees the
great evil that came upon us through the sin of Adam when this
freedom was lost.
19. This prayer was experienced before the raptures and great
impulses I mentioned. I forgot to say that those great impulses
are almost never taken away unless by a rapture and great favor
from the Lord, in which He comforts the soul and encourages
it to live for Him.
20. Because of some reasons, which would take a long time
to list, none of what has been said can be mere fancy. Whether
this wound is good or not the Lord knows. One cannot fail, in
my honest opinion, to recognize the effects and the improve-
ment it brings to the soul.
21. I see clearly that the Persons of the Trinity are distinct,
as I saw yesterday when your Reverence was speaking with the
provincial;7 except I do not see or hear anything, as I already
mentioned to you. But there is a strange certitude even though
the eyes of the soul do not see. And when that presence is gone,
the soul is aware that it is gone. The how of this presence I do
not know; but I do know very well that the experience is not
imagined. For even though afterward I may try vehemently to
represent it again, I cannot; and thus it is with everything writ-
ten down here insofar as I can understand. For since so many
years have gone by, one must have been able to see in order
432
St. Teresa of Avila
to speak of these things with this certitude.
22. It is true, and your Reverence should take note of this,
that I can easily affirm who I think is the Person who always
speaks; of the other Persons, I wouldn't be able to affirm that
they speak. One of them I know clearly has never done so. I
have never understood the reason why, nor do I occupy myself
any more in asking about what God wants. For it seems to me
that then the devil would deceive me; and neither would I ask
now, for I would be afraid of that.
23. The first Person, I think, spoke once; but since I do not
recall this clearly now, nor what was said, I wouldn't dare af-
firm it. Everything is written down in the place your Reverence
knows of and in a much more ample way than it is here, although
I don't know if it is put in the same words.8 Although
knowledge is given in a strange manner that these Persons are
distinct, the soul understands there is only one God. I don't recall
that it seemed to me our Lord spoke unless in His humanity,
and as I already said I can affirm that this experience is not the
work of imagination.
24. What your Reverence says about water, I don't know; nor
have I ever known where the terrestrial paradise is. I have already
said I cannot avoid knowing what the Lord gives me knowledge
of; I understand because I cannot do otherwise. But I have never
asked His Majesty to give me knowledge of anything, for then
it would seem to me I had imagined it and that the devil would
deceive me. And never, glory to God, did I have a curious desire
to know things, nor do I care to know anything more. This was
quite a trial to me that without having wanted to know, as I
say, I understood; although I think it was a means the Lord
made use of for my salvation since I saw I was so wretched. For
good people don't have need of so much in order to serve His
Majesty.
25. Another prayer I recall, which comes before the first kind
I mentioned, is a presence of God that is not a vision of any kind.
But it seems that when and each time (at least when there is
no dryness) one wants to pray to God, even though it be vocal
prayer, one finds Him.
May it please God to have mercy on me and that I not lose
Spiritual Testimonies
433
through my own fault so many favors.
60.
(Toledo, Aug. — Sept., 1576)
Changing confessors
I had begun to confess to a person in a city where I am at
present. But after his having been very kind to me, ever since
he accepted the guidance of my soul, he discontinued coming
here. While I was in prayer one night thinking about my need
for such a person, I understood that God had kept him from
coming because it was fitting for me to discuss my soul with
another person in this city.1
To do so was a burden to me because I would have to deal
with a person I didn't know. It could turn out that he wouldn't
understand me and would disturb me, and I loved the first one
who had been doing me this charity. Although, whenever I saw
or heard this other person preach he brought me spiritual con-
solation. But it also seemed to me inappropriate because he had
many duties. The Lord said to me: "I shall bring it about that
he listen to and understand you. Open your soul to him, for
some help will come from your troubles." This latter was said,
I think, because I was then extremely weary of being separated
from God. Then His Majesty also told me He was clearly aware
of my trial, but that it couldn't be otherwise while I lived in this
exile, that everything was for my greater good; and He consoled
me very much.
So it has come about that this other person is happy to listen
to me and finds the time and has understood me and given me
great comfort. He is a very learned and holy man.
61.
(Toledo, Nov. 21, 1577)
Perfection and poor health
On the feast of the Presentation while praying to God very
intensely for a person, it seemed to me it was still unbecoming
the great sanctity I desired for this person that he have his
434
St. Teresa of Avila
freedom and an income. I considered his poor health and the
abundant light he gave to souls, and I heard: "He serves Me
very much, but it is a great thing to follow me stripped of
everything as I was on the cross. Tell him to trust in me." He
mentioned the latter because I had concluded that this person
couldn't reach such perfection with his poor health.
62.
(Toledo, early 1577)
Self-love and the desire for penance
Once while thinking of the distress it caused me to eat meat
and not do penance, I understood that sometimes my distress
was more a matter of self-love than a desire for penance.
63.
(Toledo, early 1577)
Forgiveness of sins
Once while I was experiencing great distress over having of-
fended God, He said to me: "All your sins are before me as
though they were not; in the future make every effort, for your
trials are not over."
64.
(Avila, June 6, 1579)
Counsels for the Discalced Fathers
While at St. Joseph's in Avila, on the vigil of Pentecost, I was
in the hermitage of Nazareth reflecting upon a very great favor
our Lord had granted me on that day, more or less twenty years
before,1 when an intense spiritual impulse and fervor began
which caused my faculties to be suspended. In this great recollec-
tion I heard from our Lord the following:
That I should tell the Discalced Fathers that for their part they
ought to strive to observe four things and that as long as they
keep them their religious order will grow, and that when they
fail to do so they will be falling away from their original pur-
Spiritual Testimonies
435
pose. The first is that their leaders be in accord. The second,
that though they have many houses, there be few friars in each.
The third, that they speak little with seculars, but that when they
do, it be for the good of these persons' souls. The fourth, that
they teach by works more than by words.
This happened in the year 1579. And because it is very true,
I sign it with my name.
Teresa of Jesus.
65.
(Palencia, 1581)1
The present state of her spiritual life
Oh, who would be able to explain to your Excellency the
quiet and calm my soul experiences! It is so certain it will
enjoy God that it thinks it already enjoys the possession of Him,
although not the fruition. It's as though one had given another,
with heavily warranted deeds, the promise of a large revenue
that that other will be able to enjoy at a certain time. But until
then, this latter person enjoys only the promise that He shall
have the fruition of this revenue. Despite the gratitude the soul
feels, it would rather not rejoice. For it thinks it hasn't deserved
anything other than to serve, even if this service be through much
suffering. And sometimes it even seems to it that the period from
now until the end of the world would be a short time to serve
the one who gave it this possession. Because, to put it truthful-
ly, this soul is no longer in part subject to the miseries of the
world as it used to be. For although it suffers more, this is only
on the surface. The soul is like a lord in his castle, and so it doesn't
lose its peace; although this security doesn't remove a great fear
of offending God and of not getting rid of all that would be a
hindrance to serving Him. The soul rather proceeds more
cautiously, but it goes about so forgetful of self that it thinks
it has partly lost its being. In this state everything is directed
to the honor of God, to the greater fulfillment of His will, and
to His glory.
2. Since this is so, it seems to me that in what pertains to the
soul's body and health there is less mortification and more
436
St. Teresa of Avila
carefulness in eating; and in doing penance, the soul doesn't have
the desires it did. But everything is, it seems, directed toward
having the power to serve God more in other things. For as a
great sacrifice it offers Him the care it takes of its body, and
this care wearies it very much. At times it tests itself in something;
but in its honest opinion it cannot do this without harm to its
health, and it keeps in mind what its superiors order it to do.
In this respect and in the desire it has for its health, a lot of self-
love must also enter in. But, in my opinion, I think it would
make me much happier, and it did make me happier, to per-
form a lot of penance. When I did so, it at least seemed that
I was doing something; and I gave good example, and I didn't
have this trial that comes from not serving God in anything.
May your Excellency discern what might be the best thing to
do in this regard.
3. The imaginative visions have ceased, but it seems this in-
tellectual vision of these three Persons and of the humanity of
Christ always continues. This intellectual vision, in my opinion,
is something much more sublime. Now I understand, as it seems,
that those imaginative visions I experienced were from God, fcr
they disposed the soul for its present state. Since it was so
miserable and had so little fortitude, God led it as He saw was
necessary. In my opinion, when visions are from God they should
be greatly prized.
4. The interior locutions haven't gone away, because when
it's necessary our Lord gives me some advice; and even now in
Palencia I would have made a big blunder, although not one
involving sin, if it were not for this.2
5. The acts and desires don't seem to bear the force they used
to. Although they are great, much greater is the strength the
soul has for doing the will of God and what is for His greater
glory. Since it has well understood that His Majesty knows what
is fitting for the accomplishment of this, and it is so withdrawn
from self-interest, these desires and acts come to an end quick-
ly, and in my opinion they don't have any force. Hence I
sometimes feel fear, although not with pain and disturbance as
before, that my soul is in a stupor and that I am doing nothing
because I cannot do penance. Acts of desire for suffering and
Spiritual Testimonies
437
martyrdom and to see God have no force, and I'm usually not
able to make them. It seems I live only to eat and sleep and not
suffer in anything; and even this doesn't bother me, although
sometimes, as I say, I fear lest I be deceived. But I'm not able
to believe that I am, because from all that I discern there doesn't
reign in me any strong attachment to any creature or to all the
glory of heaven, but rather to loving this God of ours. This at-
tachment to loving God doesn't diminish; instead, in my opi-
nion, it increases along with the desire that all serve Him.
6. But besides this love, one thing amazes me: that those in-
terior feelings that were so extreme and used to torment me when
I saw souls being lost and I thought about whether some offense
was committed against God, cannot be felt by me any longer;
although I don't think the desire that He not be offended is any
less.
7. Your Excellency should take note that in all these ex-
periences, present or past, I have not had the power to do
anything more, nor do I now; I could serve more if I were not
so wretched. But I say that if I were now to strive with great
care to desire to die, I wouldn't be able to. Nor would I be able
to make the acts I used to, or feel the suffering over offenses
against God, or feel the fears that were so great and that I bore
for so many years because it seemed to me I was being deceived.
And as a result I no longer have any need to seek out learned
men or tell any one anything. I only need the satisfaction of know-
ing whether I am going along all right or whether I can do
something. I have spoken of this to some with whom I discussed
the other things, that is, with Friar Domingo^ and Master
Medina4 and some from the Society of Jesus.' With what your
Excellency might now tell me, I shall put an end to my con-
sultations because of the great esteem I have for you. Consider
it carefully for the love of God.
Neither has the knowledge been taken away that some souls
whom I'm interested in and that die are in heaven; in the case
of others, it has.
8. The solitude that makes one think cannot give that
understanding to him who nursed at my mothers breast.1" The flight
into Egypt. . .
438 St. Teresa of Avila
J
9. The interior peace, and the lack of strength that pleasures
or displeasures have for taking this peace away in any lasting
manner, ...
The presence of the three Persons is so impossible to doubt
that it seems one experiences what St. John says, that they will
make their abode in the soul.7 God does this not only by grace
but also by His presence, because He wants to give the experience
of this presence. It brings with it an abundance of indescribable
blessings, especially the blessing that there is no need to go in
search of reflections in order to know that God is there. j
This presence is almost continual, except when a lot of sickness
weighs down on one. For it sometimes seems God wants one
to suffer without interior consolation; but, never, not even in
its first stirrings, does the will turn from its desire that God's
will be done in it.
This surrender to the will of God is so powerful that the soul
wants neither death nor life, unless for a short time when it longs
to die to see God. But soon the presence of the three Persons
is represented to it so forcefully that this presence provides a
remedy for the pain caused by His absence, and there remains
the desire to live, if He wills, in order to serve Him more. And
if through my intercession I could play a part in getting a soul
to love and praise God more, even if it be for just a short time,
I think that would matter more to me than being in glory.
Soliloquies
SOLILOQUIES
INTRODUCTION
One of the distinctive traits of St. Teresa is the spontaneous
prayer to God that flows so easily and frequently from her pen.
Throughout her works there are many wonderful instances where
she shares her prayers with the reader. In the brief and fervent
outpourings of this collection, we are able to participate in the
prayer of Teresa and contemplate the ardor of the devotee. She
laments over the absence of her God, over the time she has lost
in living apart from Him, over a life that is an obstacle to perfect
union; and she praises God's mercy and grandeur, the adorable
humanity of Christ who suffers and seeks souls, Him whose
delight is to be with the children of the earth. The meditative,
prayerful quality of these writings is expressed in the long descrip-
tive title — a peculiarity of the period — given to the collection by
Fray Luis de Leon in the first edition of the Saint's works publish-
ed in Salamanca in 1588: Meditations or exclamations of the soul to
God written by Mother Teresa of Jesus in the year 1569 on different days
according to the spirit our Lord gave her after Communion.
Though we don't know exactly where Teresa wrote these
meditations, their form and the occasion on which they were
written are revealed by Luis de Leon in the above title. The cir-
cumstances in which she wrote them defined their meditative
form; but, being spontaneous, they manifest no organised plan.
The great number of "oh's" and other vehement utterances make
it clear why the first editor referred to them as exclamations.
The style of these meditations, however, greatly resembles that
found in the soliloquies that have come down to us under the
name of St. Augustine. The Soliloquies, together with the Medita-
tions (both known now as pseudo-Augustinian works), were
available in the vernacular in sixteenth-century Spain and bound
441
442
St. Teresa of Avila
together in one volume. They were probably read and reflected
on by Teresa. Because of the possible influence of that volume
by pseudo-Augustine on these Teresian writings but more par-
ticularly because of the similarity of literary genre we have chosen
for them the new, but simple, title Soliloquies in place of the more
elaborate, previously used, Exclamations of the Soul to God. The
introductory headings to each soliloquy are additions of our own
for the convenience of the reader.
Worth noting is that in these few soliloquies there are thirty-
six scriptural quotations, mainly from the Gospels, with Teresa's
personal insights and interpretations.
The collection is also, in a way, a complement to the Life,
and so we include it in this first volume. Through these medita-
tions and fervent outpourings Teresa's most intimate religious
sentiments reveal themselves to us.
The autograph of this work has not been preserved. A com-
plete copy by Ribera is the one Fray Luis de Leon probably used
and the one followed in this translation.
K.K.
Soliloquies
443
SOLILOQUIES
1
Separation from God
Olife, life! How can you endure being separated from your
Life? In so much solitude, with what are you occupied?
What are you doing, since all your works are imperfect and faul-
ty? What consoles you, O my soul, in this stormy sea? I pity
myself, and have greater pity for the time I lived without pity.
O Lord, how gentle are Your ways! But who will walk them
without fear? I fear to live without serving You; and when I set
out to serve You, I find nothing that proves a satisfactory pay-
ment for anything of what I owe. It seems I want to be com-
pletely occupied in Your service, and when I consider well my
own misery I see I can do nothing good, unless You give me
this good.
2. O my God and my Mercy! What shall I do so as not to
undo the great things You've done for me? Your works are ho-
ly, they are just, they are priceless and done with great wisdom,
since You, Lord, are wisdom itself. If my intellect busies itself
with this wisdom, my will complains. It wouldn't want anything
to hinder it from loving You, because the intellect cannot reach
the sublime grandeurs of its God. And my will desires to enjoy
Him, but it doesn't see how it can since it is placed in a prison
as painful as is this mortality. Everything hinders my will,
although it was helped by the consideration of your grandeurs,
by which my countless miseries are better revealed.
3. Why have I said this, my God? To whom am I complain-
ing? Who hears me but You, my Father and Creator? That You
might hear of my sorrow, what need have I to speak, for I so
clearly see that You are within me? This is foolish to me. But,
444
St. Teresa of Avila
alas, my God, how can I know for certain I'm not separated from
You? O my life, how can you live with such little assurance of
something so important? Who will desire you, since the gain
one can acquire or hope for from you, that is, to please God
in all, is so uncertain and full of dangers?
2
Solitude and thirst for souls
I often reflect, my Lord, that if there is something by which
life can endure being separated from You, it is solitude. For
the soul rests in the quiet of solitude; yet, since it is not com-
pletely free for the enjoyment of solitude, the torment is often
doubled. But the torment arising from the obligation to deal with
creatures and from not being allowed to be alone with one's
Creator makes the soul consider that first torment a delight. But
why is this, my God, that quiet tires the soul that aims only at
pleasing You? Oh, powerful love of God, how different are your
effects from those of the world's love! This latter love doesn't
want company since company would seem to oblige it to give
up what it possesses. In the case of the love of my God, the more
lovers that love knows there are, the more it increases; and so
its joys are tempered by seeing that not all enjoy that good. O
my God, what is this that happens: in the greatest favors and
consolations coming from You, the memory grieves over the
many there are who don't want these consolations and over those
who will lose them forever! So the soul looks for ways to find
company, and willingly sets aside its joy when it thinks it can
be of some help that others might strive to enjoy it.
2. But, my heavenly Father, wouldn't it be more worthwhile
to leave aside these desires until a time when the soul has less
experience of Your favors, and now be completely occupied in
enjoying You? Oh, my Jesus, how great is the love You bear
the children of the earth, for the greatest service one can render
You is to leave You for their sake and their benefit — and then
You are possessed more completely. For although the will isn't
so satisfied through enjoyment, the soul rejoices because it is
pleasing You. And it sees that while we live this mortal life, earth-
Soliloquies
445
ly joys are uncertain, even when they seem to be given by You,
if they are not accompanied by love of neighbor. Whoever fails
to love their neighbor, fails to love You, my Lord, since we see
You showed the very great love You have for the children of
Adam by shedding so much blood.
3
Merciful Redeemer and just Judge
My soul grew greatly distressed, my God, while consider-
ing the glory You've prepared for those who persevere
in doing Your will, the number of trials and sufferings by which
Your Son gained it, and how much in its greatness love, which
at such a cost taught us to love, deserves our gratitude. How
is it possible, Lord, that all this love is forgotten and that mor-
tals are so forgetful of You when they offend You? O my
Redeemer, and how completely forgetful of themselves they are!
What great goodness is Yours, that You then remember us, and
that though we have fallen through the mortal wound we in-
flicted on You, You return to us, forgetful of this, to lend a hand
and awaken us from so incurable a madness, that we might seek
and beg salvation of you! Blessed be such a Lord; blessed be
such great mercy; and praised forever such tender compassion!
2. Oh, my soul, bless forever so great a God. How is it possi-
ble to turn against Him? Oh, how the greatness of Your favor,
Lord, harms those who are ungrateful? May You, my God, pro-
vide the remedy. Children of the earth, how long will you be
hard of heart1 and keep your hearts opposed to this most meek
Jesus? What is this? Shall our wickedness against Him perhaps
endure? No, for the life of humans comes to an end like the flower
of the field, and the Virgin's Son must come to give that terri-
ble sentence.2 O my powerful God! Since even though we may
not so desire, You must judge us, why don't we consider how
important it is to please You before that hour comes? But who,
who will not want so just a Judge? Blessed will they be who in
that fearful moment rejoice with You, my God and Lord! The
soul You have raised up has known how miserably lost it was
for the sake of gaining a very brief satisfaction, and it is deter-
446
St. Teresa of Avila
mined to please You always. Since You, my soul's Good, do not
fail those who desire You or cease to respond to those who call
upon You, what remedy, through Your favor, Lord, will You
provide that the soul may be able to live afterward and not be
dying over the remembrance of having lost the great good it once
possessed through the innocence that came from baptism? The
best life it can have is to die always with this feeling of com-
punction. But the soul that loves You tenderly, how can it bear
this?
3. Yet, what foolishness I'm asking You, my Lord! It seems
I've forgotten Your grandeurs and mercies and how You've come
into the world of sinners and have purchased us for so great a
price5 and have paid for our false joys by suffering such cruel
torments and blows. You have cured my blindness with the blind-
fold that covered Your divine eyes and my vanity with that cruel
crown of thorns!
O Lord, Lord! All this saddens more the one who loves You.
The only consolation is that Your mercy will be praised forever
when my wickedness is known. Nevertheless, I don't know if
this weariness will be taken away until all the miseries of this
mortal life are removed by seeing You.
4
Recovering lost time
It seems, my Lord, my soul finds rest in considering the joy
it will have if through Your mercy the fruition of Yourself
is granted it. But first it would want to serve You since it will
be enjoying what You, in serving it, have gained for it. What
shall I do, my Lord? What shall I do, my God? Oh, how late
have my desires been enkindled and how early, Lord, were You
seeking and calling that I might be totally taken up with You!
Do You perhaps, Lord, abandon the wretched or withdraw from
the poor beggar when he wants to come to You? Do Your
grandeurs or You magnificent works, Lord, perhaps have a limit?
O my God and my Mercy, how You can show them now in Your
servant! You are mighty, great God! Now it can be known
whether my soul understands itself in being aware of the time
Soliloquies
447
it has lost and of how in a moment You, Lord, can win this time
back again. It seems foolish to me, since they usually say lost
time cannot be recovered. May You be blessed, my God!
2. O Lord, I confess Your great power. If You are powerful,
as You are, what is impossible for You who can do everything?
Please my Lord, give the order, give the order, for although I
am miserable, I firmly believe You can do what You desire. And
the more I hear of Your greater marvels and consider that You
can add to them, the more my faith is strengthened; and I believe
with greater determination that You will do this. What is there
to marvel at in what the Almighty does? You know well, my
God, that in the midst of all my miseries I never failed to
acknowledge Your great power and mercy. May that in which
I have not offended You, Lord, help me.
Recover, my God, the lost time by giving me grace in the
present and future so that I may appear before You with wed-
ding garments;1 for if You want to, You can do so.
5
Loving complaints and petitions; Martha's complaint
Omy Lord, how does anyone who has so poorly served You
and so poorly known how to keep what You have given
her dare ask for favors? What can be entrusted to one who has
often been a traitor? What, then, shall I do, Consoler of the
disconsolate and Cure for anyone who wants to be cured by You?
Would it be better, perhaps, to keep still about my needs, hop-
ing You will provide the remedy for them? Certainly not; for
You, my Lord and my delight, knowing the many needs there
must be and the comfort it is for us to rely on You, tell us to
ask you and that You will not fail to give.1
2. I sometimes remember the complaint of that holy woman,
Martha. She did not complain only about her sister, rather, I
hold it is certain that her greatest sorrow was the thought that
You, Lord, did not feel sad about the trial she was undergoing
and didn't care whether she was with You or not. Perhaps she
thought You didn't have as much love for her as for her sister
This must have caused her greater sorrow than did serving the
448
St. Teresa of Avila
one for whom she had such great love; for love turns work into
rest. It seems that in saying nothing to her sister but in direct-
ing her whole complaint to You, Lord, that love made her dare
to ask why You weren't concerned. And even Your reply seems
to refer to her complaint as I have interpreted it, for love alone
is what gives value to all things; and a kind of love so great that
nothing hinders it is the one thing necessary.2 But how can we
possess, my God, a love in conformity with what the Beloved
deserves, if Your love does not join love with itself? Shall I com-
plain with this holy woman? Oh, I have no reason at all, for
I have always seen in my God much greater and more extraor-
dinary signs of love than I have known how to ask for or desire!
If I don't complain about the many things Your kindness has
suffered for me, I have nothing to complain about. What, then,
can so miserable a thing as I ask for? That You, my God, give
to me what I might give to You, as St. Augustine says,3 so that
I may repay You something of the great debt I owe You; that
You remember that I am the work of Your hands; and that I
may know who my Creator is in order to love Him.
6
Painful longing for God
Omy delight, Lord of all created things and my God! How
long must I wait to see You? What remedy do You pro-
vide for one who finds so little on earth that might give some
rest apart from You? O long life! O painful life! O life that is
not lived! Oh, what lonely solitude; how incurable! Well, when,
Lord, when? How long? What shall I do, my God, what shall
I do? Should I, perhaps, desire not to desire You? Oh, my God
and my Creator, You wound and You do not supply the
medicine; You wound and the sore is not seen; You kill, leav-
ing one with more life! In sum, my Lord, being powerful You
do what You will. Well, my God, do You want so despicable
a worm to suffer these contradictions? Let it be so, my God,
since You desire it, for I desire nothing but to love You.
2. But, alas, alas, my Creator, what great pain it causes to
complain and speak of what has no remedy until You give one!
Soliloquies
449
And the soul so imprisoned wants its freedom, while desiring
not to depart one iota from what You want. Desire, my Glory,
that its pain increase; or cure it completely. O death, death, I
don't know who fears you, since life lies in you! But who will
not fear after having wasted a part of life in not loving God?
And since I am one of these, what do I ask for and what do I
desire? Perhaps the punishment so well deserved for my faults?
Don't permit it, my Good, for my ransom cost You a great deal.
3. Oh, my soul! Let the will of God be done; this suits you.
Serve and hope in His mercy, for He will cure your grief when
penance for your faults will have gained some pardon for them.
Don't desire joy but suffering. O true Lord and my King! I'm
still not ready for suffering if Your sovereign hand and greatness
do not favor me, but with these I shall be able to do all things.
7
Your delight is to be with the children of the earth
Omy Hope, my Father, my Creator, and my true Lord and
Brother! When I consider how You say that Your delights
are with the children of the earth,1 my soul rejoices greatly. O
Lord of heaven and earth, what words these are that no sinner
might be wanting in trust! Are You, Lord, perhaps lacking some-
one with whom to delight that You seek such a foul-smelling
little worm like myself? That voice that was heard at the Bap-
tism says You delight in Your Son.2 Well, will we all be equal,
Lord? Oh, what extraordinary mercy and what favor so beyond
our ability to deserve! And that mortals forget all of this! Be mind-
ful, my God, of so much misery, and behold our weakness, since
you are the Knower of everything.
2. O my soul: Consider the great delight and great love the
Father has in knowing His Son and the Son in knowing His
Father; and the enkindling love with which the Holy Spirit is
joined with them; and how no one of them is able to be separate
from this love and knowledge, because they are one. These
sovereign Persons know each other, love each other, and delight
in each other. Well, what need is there for my love? Why do
You want it, my God, or what do You gain? Oh, may You be
450
St. Teresa of Avila
blessed! May You be blessed, my God, forever! May all things
praise You, Lord, without end since in You there can be no end.
3. Be joyful, my soul, for there is someone who loves your
God as He deserves. Be joyful, for there is someone who knows
His goodness and value. Give thanks to Him, for He has given
us on earth someone who thus knows Him, as His only Son.
Under this protection you can approach and petition Him, for
then His Majesty takes delight in you. Don't let any earthly thing
be enough to separate you from your delight, and rejoice in the
grandeur of God; in how He deserves to be loved and praised;
that He helps you to play some small role in the blessing of His
name; and that you can truthfully say: My soul magnifies and praises
the Lord.1'
8
Cure the blindness caused by our evil deeds
OLord, my God, how You possess the words of eternal
life,1 where all mortals will find what they desire if they
want to seek it! But what a strange thing, my God, that we forget
Your words in the madness and sickness our evil deeds cause!
O my God, God, God, author of all creation! And what is crea-
tion if You, Lord, should desire to create more? You are
almighty; Your works are incomprehensible.2 Bring it about,
then, Lord, that my thoughts not withdraw from Your words.
2. You say: Come to me ail who labor and are burdened, for I will
comfort you.3 What more do we want, Lord? What are we ask-
ing for? What do we seek? Why are those in the world so unhappy
if not because of seeking rest? God help me! Oh, God help me!
What is this Lord? Oh, what a pity! Oh, what great blindness,
that we seek rest where it is impossible to find it! Have mercy,
Creator, on these Your creatures. Behold, we don't understand
or know what we desire, nor do we obtain what we ask for. Lord,
give us light; behold, the need is greater than with the man born
blind, for he wanted to see the light and couldn't.4 Now, Lord,
there is no desire to see. Oh, how incurable an illness! Here,
my God, is where Your power must be demonstrated; here, Your
mercy.
Soliloquies
451
3. Oh, what a difficult thing I ask You, my true God: that
You love someone who doesn't love You, that You open to one
who doesn't knock, that You give health to one who likes to be
sick and goes about looking for sickness. You say, My Lord,
that You come to seek sinners;5 these, Lord, are real sinners.
Don't look at our blindness, my God, but at all the blood Your
Son shed for us. Let Your mercy shine upon evil that has so
increased; behold, Lord, we are Your handiwork. May Your
goodness and mercy help us.
9
You give living water to the thirsty
O compassionate and loving Lord of my soul! You likewise
say: Come to me all who thirst, for I will give you drink. 1 How
can anyone who is burning in the living flames of cupidity for
these miserable earthly things fail to experience great thirst?
There is an extraordinary need for water so that one might not
be completely consumed by this fire. I already know, my Lord,
that out of Your goodness You will give it. You Yourself say
so; Your words cannot fail. Well, if those accustomed to living
in this fire and to being reared in it, no longer feel it or, like
fools, do not succeed in recognizing their great need, what
remedy is there, my God? You've come into the world as a
remedy for needs such as these. Begin, Lord! Your compassion
must be shown in the most difficult situations. Behold, my God,
Your enemies are gaining a great deal. Have pity on those who
have no pity on themselves; now that their misfortune has placed
them in a state in which they don't want to come to You, come
to them Yourself, my God. I beg this of You in their name; and
I know that as they understand and turn within themselves and
begin to taste You, these dead ones will rise.
2. O Life, who gives life to all! Do not deny me this sweetest
water that You promise to those who want it. I want it, Lord,
and I beg for it, and I come to You. Don't hide Yourself, Lord,
from me, since You know my need and that this water is the
true medicine for a soul wounded with love of You. O Lord,
how many kinds of fire there are in this life! Oh, how true it
452
St. Teresa of Avila
is that one should live in fear! Some kinds of fire consume the
soul, other kinds purify it that it might live ever rejoicing in You.
O living founts from the wounds of my God, how you have
flowed with great abundance for our sustenance, and how sure-
ly those who strive to sustain themselves with this divine liqueur
will advance in the midst of the dangers of this life.
10
Raise up sinners from their death
OGod of my soul, how we hasten to offend You and how
You hasten even more to pardon us! What reason is there,
Lord, for such deranged boldness? Could it be that we have
already understood Your great mercy and have forgotten that
Your justice is just?
The sorrows of death surround me.1 Oh, oh, oh, what a serious
thing sin is, for it was enough to kill God with so many sorrows!
And how surrounded You are by them, my God! Where can
You go that they do not torment You? Everywhere mortals
wound You.
2. O Christians, it's time to defend your King and to accom-
pany Him in such great solitude. Few are the vassals remaining
with Him, and great the multitude accompanying Lucifer. And
what's worse is that these latter appear as His friends in public
and sell Him in secret. He finds almost no one in whom to trust.
O true Friend, how badly they pay You back who betray You!
O true Christians, help your God weep, for those compassionate
tears are not only for Lazarus2 but for those who were not go-
ing to want to rise, even though His Majesty call them. O my
God, how You bear in mind the faults I have committed against
You! May they now come to an end, Lord, may they come to
an end, and those of everyone. Raise up these dead; may Your
cries be so powerful that even though they do not beg life of You,
You give it to them so that afterward, my God, they might come
forth from the depth of their own delights.
3. Lazarus did not ask You to raise him up. You did it for
a woman sinner;3 behold one here, my God, and a much
greater one; let Your mercy shine. I, although miserable, ask
Soliloquies
453
life for those who do not want to ask it of You. You already know,
my King, what torment it is for me to see them so forgetful of
the great endless torments they will suffer, if they don't return
to You.
O you who are accustomed to delights, satisfactions, and con-
solations, and to always doing your own will, take pity on
yourselves! Recall that you will have to be subject forever and
ever, without end, to the infernal furies. Behold, behold that
the Judge who will condemn you now asks you; and that your
lives are not safe for one moment. Why don't you want to live
forever? Oh, hardness of human hearts! May Your boundless
compassion, my God, soften these hearts.
11
The fear of endless torments
Oh, God help me! Oh, God help me! How great a torment
it is for me when I consider what a soul that has always
here below been valued, loved, served, esteemed, and pampered
will feel when after having died finds itself lost forever, and
understands clearly that this loss is endless. (Forgetting about
the truths of faith will be no help there, as it is here below.) Also
what a torment it is for me to consider what a soul will feel when
it finds itself separated from what seemingly it will not yet have
begun to enjoy (and rightly so, for all that which ends with life
is but a breath of wind), and surrounded by that deformed and
pitiless company with whom it will always have to suffer. It will
be placed in that fetid lake filled with snakes, and the bigger
the snake, the bigger the bite; in that miserable darkness where
it will only see what gives it torment and pain, without seeing
any light other than a dark flame! Oh, how ineffective exaggera-
tion is in expressing what this suffering is!
2. O Lord, who placed so much mud in the eyes of this soul
that it has not seen these things before it sees them there? O
Lord, who stopped its ears that it didn't hear the many times
these things were explained to it or of the eternity of these
torments? O life that shall not end! O torment without end! O
torment without end! How is it they don't fear you, those who
454
St. Teresa of Avila
are afraid to sleep on a hard bed lest they cause their body
discomfort?
3. O Lord, my God! I weep for the time I didn't understand;
and since You know, my God, the great number who don't want
to understand, I now beg You, Lord, let there be at least one,
at least one who will see Your light so that many might possess
it. Not through my merits, Lord, for I don't deserve it, but
through the merits of Your Son. Behold His wounds, Lord, and
since He pardoned those who inflicted them,1 may You pardon
us.
12
Those who withdraw from God are sick people
Omy God and my true Fortitude! What is this, Lord, that
we are cowards about everything except being against
You? In opposing You, all the strength of the children of Adam
is used up. And if their reason weren't so blind, the reasonings
of all together wouldn't suffice for them to dare to take up arms
against their Creator, and sustain a continual war against one
who in a moment can plunge them into the abyss. But since they
are blind, they are like mad people seeking their death because
in their imagination it seems to them that by death they gain
life. In sum, they are like people without reason. What can we
do, my God, with those who have this infirmity of madness?
It is said that evil itself brings them great strength. Thus, those
who withdraw from my God are sick people because all their
fury is turned against You who give them every good.
2. O incomprehensible Wisdom! How necessary is all the love
You have for creatures in order to endure so much madness and
to wait for our cure and strive to bring it about through a thou-
sand ways and means and remedies! It is something frighten-
ing to me when I consider that we lack the strength to be re-
strained in some very light matter (for they are truly convinced
that they are unable to give up an occasion and withdraw from
a danger where they may lose their souls), and yet we have
strength and courage to attack a Majesty as great as Yours. What
is this, my God? What is this? Who gives this strength? Isn't
Soliloquies
455
the captain, whom they follow in this battle against You, Your
slave damned to eternal fire? Why does one rise up against You?
How does the conquered one give courage? How is it they follow
one so poor that he is driven away from the heavenly riches?
What can anyone give who has nothing himself, other than a
lot of unhappiness? What is this, my God? What is this, my
Creator? Where does all this strength against You come from,
and all this cowardice against the devil? Such an attitude would
be the wrong way to attain what You have kept for us eternally
and to realize that all the devil's joys and promises are false and
traitorous, even if You, my Prince, did not favor Your own,
even if we owed something to this prince of darkness. What can
we expect from him who was against you?
3. Oh, great blindness, my God! What extraordinary in-
gratitude, my King! What incurable madness, that we serve the
devil with what You, my God, give us! Shall we repay the great
love You bear us by loving the one who so abhors You and must
abhor You forever? After the blood You shed for us, and the
blows and great sorrows You suffered, and the severe torments
You endured, do we, as a substitute for avenging Your heaven-
ly Father (since He doesn't want vengeance, and pardons the
great disrespect with which His Son was treated), accept as com-
panions and friends those who disrespectfully treated Him? Since
we follow their infernal captain, it is clear we shall all be one
and live forever in his company, if Your compassion does not
provide a remedy and bring us back to our senses and pardon
us for the past.
4. O mortals, return, return to yourselves! Behold your King,
for now you will find Him meek; put an end to so much
wickedness; turn your fury and your strength against the one
who makes war on you and wants to take away your birthright.
Turn, turn within yourselves, open your eyes, with loud cries
and tears seek light from the one who gave it to the world.
Understand for love of God that you with all your strength are
about to kill the one who to give you life lost His own. Behold
that it is He who defends you from your enemies. And if all this
is not enough, let it be enough for you to know that you cannot
do anything against His power and that sooner or later you shall
456
St. Teresa of Avila
have to pay through eternal fire for such great disrespect and
boldness. Why is it you see this Majesty bound and tied by the
love He bears us? What more did those who delivered Him to
death do, but inflict blows and wounds on Him after He was
bound?
5. Oh, my God, how much You suffer for one who grieves
so little over Your pains! The time will come, Lord, when You
will have to make known Your justice and whether it is the equal
of Your mercy. Behold, Christians, let us consider it carefully
and we shall never finish understanding the splendor of our Lord's
mercies and what we owe Him. For if His justice is so great,
alas, what will become of those who have deserved that it be
carried out and that it shine forth in them?
13
The souls of the blessed help us in our misery
O souls that without fear already have fruition of your joy
and are always absorbed in praises of my God, happy has
been your lot! What great reason you have for being ever engaged
in these praises. How my soul envies you, for you are already
free from the sorrow such terrible offenses committed against
my God cause in these unfortunate times, and from the sorrow
of seeing so much ingratitude, and seeing that there is no
awareness of the multitude of souls carried away by Satan. O
blessed heavenly souls! Help our misery and be our intercessors
before the divine mercy that we may be given some of your joy
and a share in this clear knowledge you possess.
2. Give us understanding, my God, of what it is that is given
to those who fight valiantly in the dream of this miserable life.
Obtain for us, O loving souls, understanding of the joy it gives
you to see the eternal character of your fruition, and how it is
so delightful to see certainly that it will have no end. Oh, how
fortunate we are, my Lord! For we believe in everlasting joy
and know the truth well; but with so pronounced a habit of fail-
ing to reflect on these truths, they have already become so foreign
to our souls that these souls neither know about them nor desire
to know about them. O selfish people, greedy for your pleasures
Soliloquies
457
and delights; not waiting a short time in order to enjoy them
in such abundance, not waiting a year, not waiting a day, not
waiting an hour — and perhaps it will take no more than a
moment — you lose everything, because of the joy of that misery
you see present!
3. Oh, oh, oh, how little we trust You, Lord! How much
greater the riches and treasures You entrusted to us, since after
His thirty-three years of great trials and so unbearable and
pitiable a death, You have given us Your Son; and so many years
before we were born! Even knowing that we wouldn't repay You,
You didn't want to cease trusting us with such an inestimable
treasure, so that it wouldn't be your fault, merciful Father, if
we fail to acquire what through Him we can obtain from You.
4. O blessed souls who with this precious price knew so well
how to profit and buy an inheritance so delightful and perma-
nent, tell us how you gained such an unending good! Help us,
since you are so near the fount; draw water for those here below
who are perishing of thirst.
14
The love and the wrath of God
Omy Lord and true God! Whoever does not know You does
not love You. What a great truth this is! But, alas, Lord,
there are those who don't want to know You! A dreadful thing
is the hour of death. But, alas, my Creator, how frightful will
be the day when Your justice will have to be exercised! I often
consider, my Christ, how pleasing and delightful Your eyes are
to one who loves You; and You, my God, want to look with
love. It seems to me that only one such gentle glance toward
souls that You possess as Yours is enough reward for many years
of service. Oh, God help me, how hard it is to explain this unless
to those who have already understood how gentle the Lord is.1
2. Christians, Christians! Behold the communion you have
with this great God; recognize it and don't despise it, for just
as this glance is agreeable to His lovers, it is frightful with a ter-
rifying wrath for His persecutors. Oh, how we fail to understand
that sin is a battle pitched against God with all our soul's senses
458
St. Teresa of Avila
and faculties. He who can commit more sins, invents more
treachery against his King. You already know, my Lord, that
recalling that I might see Your divine face angered with me on
this frightful day of the final judgment caused me greater fear
than all the pains and furies of hell shown to me. I beg You that
Your mercy may protect me from a thing that would be so sad
for me, and thus I beg it of You now, Lord. What can happen
to me on earth that would resemble this? I want to possess all,
my God. May I not fail to enjoy peacefully so much beauty.
Your Father gave You to us, may I not lose, my Lord, so precious
a jewel. I confess, eternal Father, I have kept it poorly. But there
is still a remedy, Lord, there is still a remedy while we live in
this exile.
3. O brothers, O brothers and sons of this God! Let us try
hard, let us trust hard, for you know that His Majesty says that
if we are sorry for having offended Him our faults and evils will
not be remembered.2 Oh, compassion so measureless! What
more do we desire? Is there by chance anyone who is not ashamed
to ask for so much? Now is the time to take what this compas-
sionate Lord and God of ours gives us. Since He desires our
friendship, who will deny it to one who did not refuse to shed
all His blood and lose His life for us? Behold that what He asks
for is nothing, since giving it is for our own benefit.
4. O Lord, God, help me! Oh, what hardness! Oh, what
foolishness and blindness! If when something is lost (a needle
or a sparrow hawk that isn't worth anything other than to give
a little pleasure upon seeing it fly through the air) we feel sad,
why don't we feel sad upon losing this royal eagle of God's ma-
jesty and a kingdom of endless enjoyment? What is this? I don't
understand it. My God, cure such a great foolishness and
blindness.
15
The suffering of longing for God
Woe is me, woe is me, Lord, how very long is this exile!
And it passes with great sufferings of longing for my God!
Lord, what can a soul placed in this prison do? O Jesus, how
Soliloquies
459
long is the life of humans, even though it is said to be short!
It is short, my God, for gaining through it a life that cannot end;
but it is very long for the soul that desires to come into the
presence of its God. What remedy do You provide for this suf-
fering? There isn't any, except when one suffers for You.
2. O gentle Repose of my God's lovers! You don't fail anyone
who loves You, since through You the torment the Beloved causes
the soul desiring Him must both increase and be mitigated. I
desire, Lord, to please You; but my happiness I know well doesn't
lie with any mortal beings. Since this is true, You will not blame
my desire. See me here, Lord; if it's necessary to live in order
to render You some service, I don't refuse all the trials that can
come to me on earth, as Your lover St. Martin said.1
3. But alas, woe is me, Lord, for he had works and I have
only words, because I'm not good for anything else! May my
desire be worthwhile, my God, before Your divine Presence,
and don't look at my lack of merit. May we all merit to love
You, Lord. Now that we must live may we live for You, may
our desires and self-interests come to an end. What greater thing
can be gained than to please You? O my Happiness and my
God, what shall I do to please You? Miserable are my services,
even though I may have rendered many to my God. Why, then,
must I remain in this miserable wretchedness? That the will of
the Lord may be done. What greater sin, my soul? Wait, wait,
for you know neither the day nor the hour.2 Watch with care,
for everything passes quickly, even though your desire makes
the certain doubtful and the short time long. Behold the more
you struggle the more you show the love you have for your God
and the more you will rejoice in your Beloved with a joy and
delight that cannot end.
16
The wounds of love
Otrue God and my Lord! It is a great consolation for the
soul wearied by the loneliness of being separated from You
to see that You are everywhere. But when the vehemence of love
and the great impulses of this pain increase, there's no remedy,
460
St. Teresa of Avila
my God. For the intellect is disturbed and the reason is so kept
from knowing the truth of Your omnipresence that it can neither
understand nor know. It only knows it is separated from You
and it accepts no remedy. For the heart that greatly loves receives
no counsel or consolation except from the very one who wounded
it, because from that one it hopes its pain will be cured. When
You desire, Lord, You quickly heal the wound You have caused;
prior to this there is no hope for healing or joy, except for the
joy of such worthwhile suffering.
2. O true Lover, with how much compassion, with how much
gentleness, with how much delight, with how much favor and
with what extraordinary signs of love You cure these wounds,
which with the darts of this same love You have caused! O my
God and my rest from all pains, how entranced I am! How could
there be human means to cure what the divine fire has made
sick? Who is there who knows how deep this wound goes, or
how it came about, or how so painful and delightful a torment
can be mitigated? It would be unreasonable were so precious
a sickness able to be mitigated by something so lowly as are the
means mortals can use. How right the bride of the Canticles is
in saying: My Beloved is for me and I for my Beloved and my Beloved
for me,1 for it is impossible that a love like this begin with
something so lowly as is my love.
3. Well, if it is lowly, my Spouse, how is it that it is not so
lowly in rising from the creature to its Creator? Oh, my God,
why "I for my Beloved"? You, my true Lover, have begun this
war of love, because this love doesn't seem to be anything else
than a restlessness and dereliction on the part of all the faculties
and senses; for they go out into the streets and squares entreating
the daughters of Jerusalem to tell of their God.2 Once, Lord,
this battle has begun, who are these faculties to fight against,
if not against the one who has been made lord of this fortress
where they dwell, which is the highest part of the soul? They
are driven out so that they might return to conquer their Con-
queror. And now, tired of seeing themselves without Him, they
quickly surrender and lose all their forces, and fight better; and
by surrendering they win the victory over their Victor.
4. O my soul, what a wonderful battle you have waged in this
Soliloquies
461
pain, and how literally true is what happens here! Since my Beloved
is for me and I for my Beloved, who will be able to separate and
extinguish two fires so enkindled? It would amount to laboring
in vain, for the two fires have become one.
17
All my good is in pleasing You
Omy God and my infinite Wisdom, measureless and
boundless and beyond all the human and the angelic in-
tellects! O love that loves me more than I can love myself or
understand! Why, Lord, do I want to desire more than what
You want to give me? Why do I want to tire myself in asking
You for something decreed by my desire? For with regard to
everything my intellect can devise and my desire can want You've
already understood my soul's limits, and I don't understand how
my desire will help me. In this that my soul thinks it will gain,
it will perhaps lose. For if I ask You to free me from a trial,
and the purpose of that trial is my mortification, what is it that
I'm asking for, my God? If I beg You to give the trial, it perhaps
is not a suitable one for my patience, which is still weak and
cannot suffer such a forceful blow. And if I suffer it with pa-
tience and am not strong in humility, it may be that I will think
I've done something, whereas You do it all, my God. If I want
to suffer, but not in matters in which it might seem unfitting
for Your service that I lose my reputation — since as for myself
I don't know of any concern in me about honor — it may be that
for the very reason I think my reputation might be lost, more
will be gained on account of what I'm seeking, which is to serve
You.
2. I could say many more things about this, Lord, in order
to explain that I don't understand myself. But since I know You
understand these things, why am I speaking? So that when I
awaken to my misery, my God, and see my blind reason, I might
be able to see whether I find this misery in what I write. How
often I see myself, my God, so wretched, weak, and fainthearted.
For I go about looking for what your servant has done, since
it already seemed to her she had received favors from You to
St. Teresa of Avila
fight against the tempests of this world. But no, my God, no;
no more trust in anything I can desire for myself. Desire from
me what You want to desire, because this is what I want; for
all my good is in pleasing You. And if You, my God, should
desire to please me by fulfilling all that my desire seeks, I see
that I would be lost.
3 . How miserable is the wisdom of mortals and uncertain their
providence!1 May You through Your providence, Lord, pro-
vide the necessary means by which my soul may serve You at
Your pleasure rather than at its own. Don't punish me by giv-
ing me what I want or desire if Your love, which lives in me
always, doesn't desire it. May this "I" die, and may another live
in me greater than I and better for me than I, so that I may
serve Him. May He live and give me life. May He reign, and
may I be captive, for my soul doesn't want any other liberty.
How will he be free who is a stranger to the Most High? What
greater or more miserable captivity than for a soul to be loosed
from the hand of its Creator? Happy are those who with the
strong fetters and chains of the kindnesses of the mercy of God
find themselves prisoners and deprived of the power to break
loose. Love is strong as death, and unyielding as hell.2 Oh, that I
might be slain by Him and thrown into this divine hell where
there is no longer any hope of coming out; or better, any fear
of finding oneself outside! But, woe is me, Lord; while this mortal
life lasts, eternal life is ever in danger!
4. O life at enmity with my good; who has leave to bring you
to an end? I bear with you because God bears with you; I main-
tain you because you are His; do not be a traitor or ungrateful
to me.
Nonetheless, woe is me, Lord, for my exile is long!1 Short
is all life in exchange for Your eternity; very long is one day
alone and one hour for those who don't know and who fear
whether they will offend You! O free will, so much the slave
of your freedom if you don't live fastened with fear and love of
your Creator! Oh, when will that happy day arrive when you
will see yourself drowned in the infinite sea of supreme truth,
when* you vill no longer be f^ee to sir..! Nor will yoi' want :o
-01 for voy \ h .safe fron <. \-ery misery, naturalized by
Soliloquies
463
life of your God!
5. He is blessed, because He knows, loves, and rejoices in
Himself without any other thing being possible. He neither has
nor can have — nor would He be a perfect God if He did have —
the freedom to forget Himself or cease loving Himself. Then,
my soul, you will enter into your rest when you become intimate
with this supreme Good, understand what He understands, love
what He loves, and rejoice in what gives Him joy. Now, you
will find you've lost your changeable will; now, there shall be
no more change! For God's grace will have done so much that
by it you will be so perfect a sharer in His divine nature4 that
you shall no longer be able, or want to be able, to forget the
supreme Good or fail to enjoy Him together with His love.
6. Blessed are those who are written in the book of this life/'
But you, my soul, if you are written there, why are you sad and
why do you disturb me? Hope in God, for even now I will con-
fess to Him my sins and His mercies. b And putting these all
together, I shall make a song of praise with perpetual sighs to
my Savior and my God. There may come a day when my glory
will sing to Him," and when my conscience will not feel com-
punction, where all sighs and fears will have ceased; but in the
meantime, in silence and hope will be my strength.8 I want to
live and die in striving and hoping for eternal life more than
for the possession of all creatures and all their goods; for these
will come to an end. Don't abandon me, Lord, because I hope
that in You my hope will not be confounded;9 may I always
serve You; and do with me whatever You will.
Notes
Notes to the Life
PROLOGUE
1 . She is referring to her confessors and the learned men who ordered
her to write her Life, that is, to Fathers Pedro Ibahez, O.P. , Gar-
cia de Toledo, O.P., Baltasar Alvarez, S J., etc. For more details
about all her confessors see Spir. Test., 58.
2. See Life, ch. 37, no. 1.
CHAPTER 1
1. The Saint's father was Don Alonso Sanchez de Cepeda
(1480?-1543). His first wife, D5na Catalina del Peso y Henao,
died in 1507. In 1509, he married Doha Beatriz de Ahumada
(1495?- 1529), who was fourteen at the time. She gave birth to
St. Teresa, March 28, 1515.
For more detailed information about persons and places men-
tioned in this book, see E. Allison Peers, Handbook to the Life and
Times of St. Teresa and St. John of the Cross (Westminster, Md.:
Newman Press, 1954).
2. At that time families belonging to the nobility had at their ser-
vice Moors who, with limited freedom, remained in Spain after
the conquest of Granada by the Catholic monarchs in 1492.
3. There were two from the first marriage: Maria de Cepeda, born
about 1505, and Juan de Cepeda, 1507. From the second mar-
riage, there were ten: Hernando de Ahumada, 1510; Rodrigo
de Cepeda, 1511; TERESA DE AHUMADA, 1515; Lorenzo
de Cepeda, 1519; Antonio de Ahumada, 1520; Pedro de Cepeda,
1521; Jeronimo de Cepeda, 1522; Agustm de Ahumada, 1527;
Juana de Ahumada, 1528; and another child of whom nothing
is known.
4. According to a note by Father Gratian on this passage, she is
referring to her brother Rodrigo de Cepeda, who sailed to
America in 1535 and later died there in battle.
5. Doha Beatriz signed her last will November 24, 1528, and, it is
believed, died a little later; so St. Teresa was about fourteen.
6. According to an old tradition, she is referring to a statue of Our
467
468
St. Teresa of Avila
Lady of Charity that was venerated in the hermitage of St.
Lazarus, outside the walls of the city, near the river Adaja. After
the destruction of the hermitage in the nineteenth century, the
statue was moved to the cathedral where it is venerated today.
CHAPTER 2
1. Ch. 1, no. 2.
2. These were adventure stories, very popular in sixteenth-century
Spain. They were later ridiculed by Cervantes in Don Quijote, Pt.
1, ch. 6.
3. She is probably referring to the sons of Don Hernando Mejia and
Dona Elvira de Cepeda, her father's sister. We know of three of
them: Vasco, born in 1507; Francisco, 1508; and Diego, 1513.
4. Her half sister, Maria de Cepeda.
5. It was a convent of Augustinian nuns, named Our Lady of Grace,
and it still exists in Avila. In St. Teresa's time, the nuns operated
a boarding school where girls from the nobility were prepared
for marriage. The intellectual level certainly would not have
reached that of the present-day high school. This took place about
1531, when Teresa was sixteen.
6. Her half sister married Don Martin Barrientos in January of 1531 .
They established their home in a little town about a day's journey
northwest of Avila, called Castellanos de la Canada.
7. This nun was Dona Maria de Briceno y Contreras. She was in
charge of the girls, who slept in large dormitories.
CHAPTER 3
1. Mt. 22:14.
2. Juana Suarez, according to Gratian. She was a nun at the
Carmelite monastery of the Incarnation in Avila.
3. See ch. 2, note 6.
4. This uncle was Don Pedro Sanchez de Cepeda, widower of Dona
Catalina del Aguila. He lived in the little town of Hortigosa, near
the town in which Teresa's sister lived. Later he retired to the
monastery of the Jeronimites, and it was there he died.
5. See ch. 1 , no. 4.
6. St. Jerome's letters were translated into Spanish by Juan de
Molina and first published in Valencia in 1520.
CHAPTER 4
1. This happened about 1535 when she was twenty. The brother
Notes to the Life
469
was Antonio de Ahumada, who applied to the Dominicans but
was unable to convince them to accept him without paternal con-
sent. He then joined the Jeronimites but did not persevere for
lack of health. He went to America and died in Quito (Ecuador)
from wounds received in the battle of I naquito, January 20, 1546.
2. Her friend was Juana Suarez (ch. 3, note 2). Teresa entered the
monastery of the Incarnation November 2, 1535, when twenty-
one years old.
3. According to the rules, the clothing took place after one year of
postulancy; in St. Teresa's case, November 2, 1536. The prioress
of the Incarnation was Dona Mencia Cimbron, a distant relative
of Teresa's.
4. She made her religious profession after one year of novitiate, that
is, November 3, 1537.
5. A little town called Becedas, about fifty miles southwest of Avila.
It was there that the much talked about quack doctor resided.
6. Juana Suarez.
7. See ch. 5, no. 7.
8. Maria de Cepeda. See ch. 3, no. 3.
9. Pedro Sanchez de Cepeda. See ch. 3, no. 4.
10. This was the distinguished spiritual work by the Franciscan, Fray
Francisco De Osuna. It was published in Toledo in 1527. The
copy used by St. Teresa can be seen in St. Joseph's monastery
at Avila. It is without doubt one of the books that left the deepest
impression on her. In 1931, it was translated into English by a
Benedictine of Stanbrook. Third Spiritual A Iphabet (London: Burns
Oates, 1931).
1 1 . She is referring to the path of the prayer of recollection as taught
in Osuna's book. As for the gift of tears, see ch. 11, no. 9. She
goes on to speak in this number of the prayer of quiet and of the
prayer of union. These are two higher degrees of prayer about
which she speaks in chapters 14-15 and 18-22 respectively.
12. By ths time, she was close to twenty-three.
CHAPTER 5
1. From Castellanos de la Canada to Becedas. See ch. 4, no. 6.
2. Juana Suarez.
3. Father Vicente Barron, confessor to her family and an outstand-
ing theologian.
4. Not the Dominican Father, but the priest of Becedas, whose name
was Pedro Hernandez.
470 St. Teresa of Avila
5. See above, no. 4.
6. She is referring here to the Morals of St. Gregory, Pope, Doctor of
the Church. This was the Spanish translation from the Latin, done
by Alonso Alvarez de Toledo and published in Seville in 1514.
The Carmelites of St. Joseph's in Avila have a copy of this two-
volume work. The second volume bears the notation: "These
Morals were those used by Our Holy Mother, and during the
hours of sleep she rested her holy head upon them; and some of
the marks she made with her holy hands to note the things that
stirred her devotion."
7. Jb. 2:10.
8. August 15-19, 1539, when she was twenty-four. See ch. 6, no. 1 .
9. She is referring probably to the popular custom, still existing in
some small towns in Castile, of closing the eyes of the dead with
a few drops of wax from the candle used during the death agony.
CHAPTER 6
1 . See ch. 5, no. 9.
2. A term to denote a fever that increased, along with chills, every
fourth day. They were called the tertian fevers if they increased 1
every other day.
3. This happened about the end of August, 1539.
4. From the middle of 1539 to about April of 1542. She attributed
her cure to St. Joseph. See nos. 6-8.
5. Ga. 2:20.
CHAPTER 7
1. This passage is further clarified in no. 14: "... I who was sicker
in soul, steeped in many vanities, than he was in body; although,
during this entire more lax period of which I am speaking, never
so steeped in them — insofar as I understood — as to be in mortal
sin."
2. The monastery of the Incarnation, not St. Joseph's.
3. Probably Dona Mencia Cimbron, prioress of the Incarnation dur-
ing Teresa's novitiate year.
4. No. 3.
5. Ch. 1, no. 1.
6. See ch. 8, no. 5; ch. 19, nos. 4, 10-15.
7. Don Alonso died December 24, 1543.
8. Father Vicente Barron, O.P.
9. Father Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
Notes to the Life
471
CHAPTER 8
1. See nos. 1-2; ch. 5, no. 11; ch. 7, no. 22.
CHAPTER 9
1 . Not a statue of Christ bound to the column as has been thought,
but an ecce homo that is still venerated at the monastery of the In-
carnation in Avila.
2. She probably had the translation done by the friar, Sebastian
Toscano. This was published in Salamanca in 1554, the same
year of her spiritual conversion.
3. The Augustinian nuns of Our Lady of Grace.
4. Confessions, VIII, ch. 12.
5. This conversion, as the event has been called, took place during
Lent of 1554, when she was thirty-nine.
6. The experiences related in nos. 1 and 8.
CHAPTER 10
1 . Reference to her confessors and particularly to Father Gracia de
Toledo O.P., to whom she addresses her Life.
2. In ch. 9, no. 9; ch. 4, no. 7.
3. In ch. 13, no. 4.
4. See note 1.
5. In ch. 13, no. 17; ch. 22, no. 3; ch. 28, no. 6.
CHAPTER 11
1 . Chapters eleven to twenty-two comprise a small treatise on mental
prayer and its degrees; the tone changes from autobiographical
to didactic. They prepare the reader for an understanding of what
she will begin to speak of in ch. 23.
2. In ch. 12, no. 5. In ch. 18, no. 2, she mentions the difficulty she
has with understanding and using the proper terminology.
3. The source of this allegory is not known with any certitude. See
ch. 14, no. 9.
4. According to Ribera there was a water wheel in the house in which
she grew up.
5. Most probably she is referring to Fr. Garcia de Toledo.
6. In ch. 13, nos. 14-15; ch. 15, no. 6, etc.
7. See Letters of St. Jerome, Letter 22: to Eustochium.
8. Mt. 11:30.
472
St. Teresa of Avila
CHAPTER 12
1 . She uses terms common among the spiritual writers of her times,
but with her own nuances. See Osuna, Third Spiritual Alphabet,
IX, ch. 8; Bernardino de Laredo, The Ascent of Mount Sion, trans.
E. A. Peers (London: Faber and Faber, Ltd., 1950), ch. 41. For
St. Teresa, "supernatural" corresponds roughly to "mystical" or
"infused." See Spiritual Testimonies, 5, no. 3.
2. A very popular book by a Franciscan friar, Alonso de Madrid,
published in Seville, 1521.
3. She is referring to the Dominican Fathers, Pedro Ibanez, Garcia
de Toledo, and Domingo Banez; to Baltasar Alvarez, S.J.; to
Master Gaspar Daza; and also perhaps to the Bishop Don Alvaro
de Mendoza.
4. See ch. 34, no. 7.
5. In ch. 10, no. 1; ch. 11, no. 5.
CHAPTER 13
1. Ch. 11, nos. 15-16.
2. References are to: Ph. 4:13; Confessions, X, ch. 29; Mt. 14:29-30.
3. In ch. 7, no. 17 et passim.
4. In ch. 7, no. lOff.
5. According to Gratian, the three were: Maria de San Pablo, a nun
at the Incarnation; Ana de los Angeles, a nun at the Incarnation
who went with St. Teresa on the new foundation in Avila and
became the first prioress there; and Maria de Cepeda y Ocam-
po, a lay woman who lived at the Incarnation (see ch. 32, no.
9) and also joined Teresa on the new foundation.
6. In the latter part of the book, chs. 32-36.
7. In ch. 12, no. 2.
8. In no. 11; ch. 12, no. 2.
9. Jn. 14:2.
10. See ch. 15, no. 12.
11. In no. 12; ch. 11, no. 6.
12. This was the opinion of St. Peter of Alcantara and others. They
held that in matters pertaining to the perfection of the spiritual
life one should consult those who are living this life, and not jurists
and theologians.
13. Good judgment, experience, and learning. See no. 16.
CHAPTER 14
1. See no. 7; ch. 15 passim.
Notes to the Life
473
2. In no. 6.
3. The new monastery she founded, St. Joseph's in Avila. She gives
an account of this foundation in chapters 32-36. The little com-
munity was extremely poor.
4. Reference to the Arabic spoken by the Moors who remained in
Spain and which was unintelligible to Castilians.
5. Pr. 8:31.
6. She is addressing Father Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
7. Biblical allusion to Lk. 7:47.
CHAPTER 15
1. Mt. 17:4.
2. Biblical allusion to Ex. 16:3.
3. In nos. 2-3.
4. See ch. 18, no. 2; ch. 32, nos. 2-3.
5. See no. 2.
6. Biblical allusion to Mt. 25:25.
7. In no. 3.
8. In no. 6.
9. Lk. 18:13.
10. In no. 4.
11. See ch. 11, nos. 12-16; ch. 12, no. 3.
12. In ch. 13, no. 15.
13. In no. 11.
14. Mt. 16:24.
CHAPTER 16
1. She continues to address Father Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
2. Lk. 15:9
3. See 2 S. 6:14. The feast of King David was approved for the
Carmelite liturgical calendar in 1564 and was celebrated
November 29.
4. Her motherly way of addressing Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
5. Among the five were certainly the Dominican, Garcia de Toledo,
and the saintly layman, Francisco de Salcedo (see ch. 23, no. 6).
Two other possible ones were: her friend and benefactress, Dona
Guiomar de Ulloa (see ch. 24, no. 4); and the pious, learned priest
and confessor, Gaspar Daza (see ch. 23, no. 6.)
CHAPTER 17
1. Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
474
St. Teresa of Avila
2. See ch. 14, no. 2.
3. She distinguishes, then, three kinds of union: the union just men-
tioned (the lowest kind, no. 4); another higher kind, but still not
complete union (no. 5); and the complete union, "that which was
mentioned in reference to this third water" (ch. 16 passim).
4. She refers to the memory and the imagination without
distinguishing them from each other.
5. In ch. 14, no. 3, ch. 15, nos. 6-9. Although in the latter reference,
she seems to refer preferably to the intellect, it should be
remembered that Teresa doesn't always make clear distinctions
between the intellect and the imagination.
6. Gn. 29:20-30.
7. In no. 5.
8. In ch. 16, no. 3; ch. 17, nos. 2-3.
9. In nos. 4-5.
CHAPTER 18
1. One of her censors, probably Father Banez, crossed out this last
sentence of the chapter heading. He was possibly somewhat
bothered by the high estimate the Saint had of her own work.
But this is an excellent example of the ingenuous way in which
she composed her chapter headings. See Chs. 14, 16, 19, 20, 21,
22, 25 and almost all the chapters in the Interior Castle.
2. In ch. 16, nos. 1 ff. She means that in the third water there is
no ecstatic suspension of either the faculties or the senses.
3. She refers to the prayer of quiet also in this way (see ch. 14, no.
1). She is using terminology learned from books read in her time,
particularly Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion (see ch. 12, note 1).
4. Ps. 92:6; 104:24.
5. Biblical allusion to 2 Co. 4:7.
6. Allusion to Mt. 25:18.
7. "Elevation of the spirit," "joining with heavenly love," "flight of
the spirit," "rapture," "suspension," and "transport" are analogous
terms which in Teresa's spiritual language are the equivalent of
ecstasy, although with slight differences. See ch. 20, no. 1.
8. See ch. 16, no. 2.
9. It was a custom at the joust for one in a group of supporters to
hold up a banner bearing the colors of the group's favorite knight.
In this prayer, it is the will that continues in act even when the
other two faculties falter.
10. The two faculties are the intellect and the memory. The mystical
Notes to the Life
475
terminology is inspired by the Song of Songs. A fluctuating bet-
ween the prayer of the sleep of the faculties (the third water) and
the prayer of ecstasy (the fourth water) is what is designated by
this imagery.
11. In nos. 10, 13.
12. According to Father Gratian, she is referring here to Father
Vicente Barron, O.P.
CHAPTER 19
1 . See ch. 7, no. 11. This was so important a fact to her in the story
of her interior life that she refers to it a number of times.
2. Saints Peter, Paul, Augustine, and Mary Magdalene, favorite
intercessors for Teresa.
3. Probable allusion to Lutheran doctrine which held that justifica-
tion does not take away sin but only covers the wounds of sin.
4. Ps. 119:137.
5. In no. 6.
6. In chs. 25-27.
7. There follows a series of allusions to the temptation to which she
yielded of abandoning prayer. See no. 4; ch. 7, no. 11.
8. Father Vicente Barron, according to Father Gratian. See ch. 7,
no. 17.
9. See ch. 20, no. 22; ch. 21, no. 11.
10. See ch. 20, nos. 22-29; ch. 21, no. 11.
11. In nos. 3-5, 10; ch. 7, no. 11.
12. In no. 4.
13. Allusion to biblical passages in which the Lord promises pardon
to the sinner; Ezk. 33:11; Mt. 9:13; Lk. ch. 15.
CHAPTER 20
1 . Some words of St. John of the Cross are worth noting here: "This
would be an apt place to treat of the different kinds of raptures,
ecstasies, and other elevations and flights of the soul. . . Then
too, the Blessed Teresa of Jesus, our Mother, left writings about
these spiritual matters, which are admirably done and which I
hope will soon be printed and brought to light." See The Collected
Works of St. John of the Cross, trans. K. Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and
O. Rodriguez, O.C.D. (Washington, D.C.: ICS Publications,
1973), p. 460. St. John of the Cross promoted publication of the
writings of St. Teresa in a council meeting, September 1, 1586.
2. In ch. 18, nos. 1,9; ch. 19, no. 1.
476
St. Teresa of Avila
3. She adds in the margin: "I have heard that this is so, that the
clouds gather up the vapors; or the sun "does."
4. The feast of St. Joseph.
5. Later she again experienced ecstasies, raptures, and levitations.
See Spir. Test. , 1 2 and 3 1 ; also her letter to Don Lorenzo de
Cepeda, January 17, 1577.
6. She writes of these visions and revelations in chs. 27, 28, 29, 32,
38, 39, 40.
7. See ch. 29, 8-14.
8. When she writes in Latin, Teresa spells the words according to
the way they were pronounced by Castilians, e.g. , "vigilavi edfatus
sun sicud passer solitarius yn tecto." Ps. 102:8.
9. Ps. 42:4.
10. Ga. 6:14.
11. In no. 9.
12. In chs. 4 and 5.
13. In nos. 7, 9.
14. In the margin after the last lines, she makes the annotation: "I
mean that these impulses come after the favors here mentioned
that the Lord granted me."
15. She began to speak of raptures in no. 1, and continued until the
subject of levitation came up in no. 5. In nos. 9-16 she speaks
of that strange solitude and infused prainful prayer.
16. See ch. 18, no. 12.
17. The suspension of the corporeal functions and the lightness of
the body of which she speaks in no. 18.
18. Ch. 18, no. 12.
19. Avila.
20. See chs. 23 and 24.
21 . St. Vincent Ferrer, O.P. , writes: "And know for certain that the
greater part of the raptures, indeed rabies, of the messengers of
the Antichrist comes in this way." Tractatus de Vita Spirituali
(Madrid, BAC, 1956), ch. 14.
22. Ps. 55:7.
23. Ps. 143:2.
CHAPTER 21
1. Teresa takes up again the theme of both the effects and the
spiritual state that correspond to the fourth degree of prayer. She
began to speak of this in ch. 19, no. 1, and returns to it in ch.
20, nos. 7, 23. She concludes in this chapter.
Notes to the Life
477
2. Reference to an old popular belief that when an important per-
son dies there are signs in the sky, as happened at the death of
our Lord. See Mt. 27:45.
3. See no. 1; ch. 20, nos. 22, 26.
4. Rm. 7:24.
5. In no. 5; ch. 20, no. 25.
6. In ch. 19, nos. 6-10; ch. 18, no. 4; ch. 15, no. 7; ch. 10, no. 4.
CHAPTER 22
1. Jn. 16:7. In the margin she adds: "It seems to me that if they
had faith that He was both God and man as they did after the
Holy Spirit came, this would not have hindered them; for these
words were not spoken to the Mother of God, even though she
loved Him more than all of them."
2. The clause beginning with the words, "that is," is a clarification
St. Teresa added in the margin.
3. In ch. 28.
4. The second reason will appear in nos. 9-10.
5. Jn. 19:26.
6. Mt. 3:17.
7. Jn. 10:9.
8. This is the first time that in addressing Father Garcia de Toledo
she alludes to his title of lord. He merited this title because he
was a nephew of the Count of Oropesa. The title provides fur-
ther evidence that it was to this Dominican priest that she ad-
dressed herself throughout her book.
9. In chs. 18 ff.
10. In no. 5.
11. Biblical allusion to Lk. 10:42.
12. In ch. 11, no. 13; ch. 12, no. 3.
13. In no. 9.
14. In no. 9.
15. Lk. 5:8.
16. In nos. 2,8.
17. In ch. 11, no. 10.
18. In ch. 14.
19. Lk. 14:10.
20. Lk. 10:39. The last clause alludes to the legend about St. Mary
Magdalene. Following St. Gregory the Great, the Latin Church,
generally but not universally, has in the past identified Mary
Magdalene with the repentant woman of Lk. 7:36-50 and with
478
St. Teresa of Avila
Mary of Bethany of Jn. 11.
21. Mk. 10:29-30.
22. In no. 5.
CHAPTER 23
1. She takes up again the account of her life, which she interrupted
in ch. 11 for her little treatise on the degrees of prayer.
2. A reference to the autos de fe against the Illuminists held by the
Inquisition in various cities, such as Cordoba, Seville, and
Valladolid, during the sixteenth century.
3. The Jesuit fathers made their foundation, named after St. Giles,
in Avila about 1554.
4. In no. 3.
5. See ch. 7, no. 1 .
6. Maestro Gaspar Daza, a diocesan priest in Avila. See ch. 16,
no. 7; ch. 36, no. 18.
7. Don Francisco de Salcedo, who became one of Teresa's closest
friends. His wife was Dona Mencia del Aguila, a cousin of the
wife of Teresa's uncle Don Pedro Sanchez, who had introduced
Teresa to spiritual books (ch. 3, no. 4; ch. 4, no. 7). Don Fran-
cisco attended classes in theology at the Dominican College of
St. Thomas in Avila for a period of twenty years. He was an
authentically spiritual man, and after his wife died he became
a priest.
8. Don Alonso Alvarez Davila.
9. In no. 5.
10. Bernardino de Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion. See Life, ch. 12, note
1. Laredo was a Franciscan Brother who had been a physician
before entering the religous life. His book was first published in
Seville in 1535.
11. See ch. 28, nos. 5-6, et passim in the final chapters.
12. A marked copy of the Ascent of Mount Sion and her first Spiritual
Testimony, or autobiographical account, which has been lost.
13. 1 Co. 10:13.
14. Another autobiographical account, lost as was the previous one.
15. Father Diego de Cetina, S. J., Teresa's confessor during the sum-
mer of 1555. See ch. 24, no. 1.
CHAPTER 24
1 The Incarnation in Avila.
2. St. Francis Borgia, S.J., (1510-15721). After succeeding his father]
Notes to the Life
479
as fourth Duke of Gandia, he joined the Society of Jesus and re-
nounced his titles and estates. In 1565 he was elected the Socie-
ty's third general. It is believed that he first met Teresa during
the summer of 1555. Teresa says that she met him twice. See
Spir. Test., 58, no. 3.
3. Father Diego de Cetina, S.J., St. Teresa's first Jesuit confessor.
He remained in Avila for only a few months, so he could not have
directed her for long.
4. Father Diego de Cetina, S.J.
5. Dona Guiomar de Ulloa. Her husband left her a small fortune
which she used largely for charity. She provided a great part of
the income for Teresa's new foundation of St. Joseph's, Avila.
Later on she tried the Carmelite life at St. Joseph's, but for lack
of health had to leave.
6. Father Juan de Pradanos, S.J., who was also confessor of Dona
Guiomar.
7. This was St. Teresa's first rapture; it took place either in 1556
or 1558. She speaks of her first vision in ch. 7, no 6, and of her
first locution in ch. 19, no. 9. For about two years she resisted
the raptures and locutions (ch. 25, no. 15; ch. 27. nos. 1-2).
CHAPTER 25
1. Here we have a communication of verbal knowledge in contrast
to the pure, distinct knowledge of the intellectual vision See ch.
27, no. 6.
2. See ch. 13, no. 3.
3. In nos. 2-3.
4. Not in the second but ?n the fourth water See ch. 1 8. nos 1 If;
ch 20. nos. 3 ff.
5. It is helpful to recall here St. TVresas teaching, about ec«uas\ ;n
rhs. 18 and 20, espeeiailv in ch. 18. <os 1 2- ! 3
In no. 4
7. In nos 1 and 6
3. In ch 23.
9. Inch. 31 See also ch. 32, no. 1. ch ''b. nos 7-1 !* ch 38 23-24,
ch 39, no. 4.
10 In ch. 7, nos. b-7 .
! 1 Thev were probably Caspar Daza. Conzalo de \randa. I nan d<
Pradanos, S.J., and the two lavmen. Francisco de SalonJo md
her cousin, Don Aionso Alvarez Daviia
11 Either juan de Pradanos, ^ J. or Baltasar Alvarez S.J
480
St. Teresa of Avila
13. In ch. 23, no. 13.
14. Mk. 4:39.
15. See chs. 31, 32, 38 and 39.
16. A gesture of contempt made by placing the thumb between the
first and second fingers and pointing it at the scorned object from
the tip of one's nose.
CHAPTER 26
1. In ch. 25, no. 1.
2. She will speak of this in ch. 29, nos. 8-14, and has already spoken
of it in ch. 20, nos. 9-14 and ch. 21, no. 6.
3. She is referring to her foundation of St. Joseph. See ch. 36.
4. In ch. 25, nos. 3 and 18.
5. Baltasar Alvarez, SJ. See ch. 28, no. 14.
6. In 1559, Don Fernando de Valdes, the Inquisitor General,
published an Index of forbidden books, among which were some
spiritual books written in the vernacular that he thought could
be harmful to simple souls.
CHAPTER 27
1. In ch. 25, no. 15.
2. In ch. 24, no. 5; ch. 25; ch.26, nos. 2 and 5.
3. It was an intellectual vision. St. Teresa will distinguish at least
three kinds of visions: intellectual (like the present one, which
she will describe in her own way in no. 3); imaginative (perceived
with what she calls "the eyes of the soul," that is, the imagination
or phantasy, and described in ch. 28); and corporeal (seen with
the bodily eyes and which she says, in ch. 28, no. 4, she never
experienced). She is very free in the use of language; so in speak-
ing of the intellectual vision, she says she felt this vision.
4. In nos. 16-20; ch. 30, nos. 2-7.
5. In ch. 25.
6. In nos. 2ff. She distinguishes three kinds of locutions: those that
are explicit and heard with the sense of hearing; those that are
explicit but not heard with the bodily ears, although they are
understood much more clearly than if heard (see ch. 25); those
that are not explicit, just as in heaven one understands without
speaking: "God and the soul understand each other only through
the desire His Majesty has that it understand Him, without the
use of any other means ..." (see ch. 27, no. 10). It is of this latter
that she now begins to speak.
Notes to the Life
481
7. She begins to list them in the following number, but loses the
thread and does not return to them until ch. 29, no. 1.
8. In ch. 25 passim.
9. Sg. 4:9; 6:5.
10. Rm. 2:11.
11. Lk. 23:27; Mt. 27:32.
12. See no. 14; ch. 16, nos. 1, 4, 8; ch. 21 passim.
13. She is referring to Venerable Maria Diaz (1495-1572). This pious
woman was guided by St. Peter of Alcantara and was renowned
in Avila for her sanctity.
14. In no. 3; ch. 30; ch. 36, no. 20.
15. He was born in 1499 and died in 1562. If this meeting took place
in 1558, he was only fifty-nine, hardly very old. She is probably
judging by appearance.
16. Ps. 122:1. Teresa, to give another example of her manner of spell-
ing Latin, wrote thus: letatum sun yn is que dita sun miqui. See ch.
20, note 8.
CHAPTER 28
1. That is, to the vision spoken of in ch. 27, nos. 2-5.
2. She is referring to a first account of her spiritual experiences made
for Garcia de Toledo, which has been lost. This vision of the
sacred humanity of Christ took place most probably on the feast
of the Conversion of St. Paul, January 25, 1561.
3. In ch. 29, no. 7.
4. In ch. 10, no. 9; ch. 13, no. 18.
5. In ch. 30, nos. 12, 15, 18.
6. In ch. 27, no. 2.
7. In this same number 10.
8. In ch. 27, nos. 7 ff.
9. In no. 4.
10. Baltasar Alvarez, S.J. He was twenty-five or twenty-six when he
undertook the direction of St. Teresa.
1 1 . He was her confessor for six years according to her own account
in Spir. Test., 58, no. 3. The first three difficult years to which
she refers here must have been from 1558-1561.
12. See ch. 25, no. 14.
CHAPTER 29
1 . In ch. 27, no. 7 she began to explain why the devil interferes least
in the intellectual vision, and the language God speaks without
482
St. Teresa of Avila
explicit words.
2. In nos. 8-14.
3. According to Gratian, she is referring to Gonzalo de Aranda.
4. In no. 4; ch. 27, no. 1.
5. June 29. See ch. 27, no. 2; ch. 28, no. 3.
6. In no. 8; ch. 30, nos. 8 ff; ch. 34, no. 16.
7. See no. 6.
8. In ch. 20, nos. 9 ff.
9. In nos. 8 and 10.
10. Ps. 42:2.
11. In ch. 27, no. 2. She does not mean she had a corporeal vision
but an imaginative one. See ch. 28, no. 4, where she says she
never experienced corporeal visions.
12. In ch. 20, nos. 9 ff.
CHAPTER 30
1. In ch. 27, nos. 16-20.
2. She is probably alluding to the Treatise on Prayer & Meditation,
trans. D. Devas, O.F.M. (Westminster, Md.: Newman Press
1949). But the authenticity of this work and others has been
challenged.
3. Dona Guiomar de Ulloa. See ch. 24, no. 4.
4. In ch. 28, no. 4.
5. The confessor was Baltasar Alvarez, S.J. The gentleman was
Francisco de Salcedo.
6. She is referring to the Franciscan semi-province that bore the ti-
tle of St. Joseph.
7. In no. 8.
8. Jb. 2:6.
9. Baltasar Alvarez, S.J., according to Gratian.
10. In ch. 25, no. 18; ch. 26, no. 2.
11. It is worth recalling that St. Teresa does not always distinguish
clearly between intellect, thought, and imagination.
12. In ch. 29, nos. 8-14; ch. 26, no. 1.
13. Jn. 4:15.
14. In ch. 10, no. 7; ch. 14, no. 8.
CHAPTER 31
1. In ch. 30, nos. 9 ff.
2. Domingo Banez, O.P., according to Gratian.
3. The diabolical interventions mentioned in no. 6.
Notes to the Life
483
4. In the monastery of St. Joseph.
5. She is referring to an intellectual vision, which she explains in
ch. 27, no. 2.
6. In note 1; ch. 30, nos. 9 ff.
7. Domingo Banez.
8. It is difficult to identify. Some think it was located outside Spain;
others think it was in Spain — perhaps the Incarnation at Valencia.
9. See ch. 22, no. 13.
10. In the rest of the chapter she addresses Garcia de Toledo, O.P.,
more expressly. It is he with whom she keeps up a dialogue
throughout almost the whole book.
1 1 . Her youngest sister, Dona Juana de Ahumada, who with her hus-
band came to Avila from Alba de Tormes. She had marriage dif-
ficulties because of her husband's troublesome temperament and
because of financial problems.
12. In ch. 30, no. 20.
CHAPTER 32
1. In chaps. 23-31.
2. See ch. 6, nos. 1-2.
3. In chaps. 30-31 .
4. A reference to the bull Romani Pontificis of Eugene IV, February
15, 1432. See ch. 36, no. 26. For the text of this bull see Monumenta
Historica Carmeli Teresiani, ed. Eulogio Pacho et al. (Rome,
Teresianum, 1973) I, 459-461. (Henceforth cited as Monumental
5. We know the names of almost everyone in the group. The one
who mentioned the idea was Maria de Ocampo, a daughter of
Teresa's cousin. She joined the Carmelite nuns at St. Joseph's
and took the name Maria Bautista. Almost all the others in the
group were likewise relatives of Teresa; some were Carmelites,
others, lay friends. They used to gather in Teresa's cell at the
monastery of the Incarnation. The group included: Beatriz de
Cepeda, Leonor de Cepeda, Maria de Cepeda, Isabel de San
Pablo, Ines de Tapia, Ana de Tapia, and Juana Suarez. Mana
de San Jose writes: "One day the Saint together with Mana de
Ocampo and other nuns from the Incarnation began to discuss
the saints of the desert. At this time some of them said that since
they couldn't go to the desert, they should found a little monastery
with few nuns and that there they could join together to do
penance." By the discalced, Maria de Ocampo was referring to
the Descalzas Reales, Franciscan nuns founded in Avila by Philip
484
St. Teresa of Avila
II's sister, Princess Dona Juana, who followed St. Peter of Alcan-
tara's initiative.
6. Dona Guiomar de Ulloa, already mentioned in ch. 24, no. 4;
ch. 30, no. 3.
7. The monastery of the Incarnation.
8. Baltasar Alvarez, SJ.
9. This written account has been lost.
10. Angel de Salazar, who in 1560 succeeded Gregorio Fernandez
as provincial of Castile.
1 1 . Later on Teresa changed her mind and allowed for a larger
number of nuns in her monasteries.
12. Pedro Ibanez, O.P.
13. See ch. 35, nos. 4-6; ch. 36, no. 23.
14. Francisco de Salcedo. See ch. 23, no. 6.
15. Gaspar Daza. See ch. 23, no. 6.
16. See ch. 33, no. 12.
CHAPTER 33
1. See ch. 32, no. 15.
2. The confessor she is referring to throughout this chapter is
Baltasar Alvarez, S.J.
3. The Incarnation.
4. A dark cell in the monastery for those who by law were to be
thus punished.
5. In ch. 29, nos. 9 ff.
6. Pedro Ibanez.
7. Pedro Ibanez retired to the solitary monastery of Trianos (Leon),
where he died February 2, 1565.
8. Dionisio Vazquez was followed in office by Gaspar de Salazar
in April, 1561. Disagreements with the Bishop of Avila led to
Salazar's removal early in 1562.
9. Dona Juana de Ahumada, who lived in Alba with her husband,
Juan de Ovalle. See ch. 31, no. 19.
10. She is referring to the money received from her brother Loren-
zo, who was living in Quito (Ecuador). See her letter thanking
him, December 23, 1561.
11. See ch. 32, no. 18.
12. August 12, 1561.
13. It was a monastery of Poor Clares in the City.
14. St. Teresa received this mystical experience in the Christ chapel
of the Dominican church of St. Thomas, outside the walls of
Notes to the Life
485
Avila, August 15, 1561.
15. In ch. 27, no. 2.
16. See no. 14.
17. See ch. 36, nos. 15 ff.
CHAPTER 34
1 . Dona Luisa de la Cerda was a daughter of the second Duke of
Medinaceli and, through him, descended from the royal houses
of Spain and France. Her husband, Arias Pardo de Saavedra,
one of the wealthiest men in Castile, died January 13, 1561.
2. December 24, 1561.
3. This Jesuit foundation was made by St. Francis Borgia in 1558.
The rector was Pedro Domenech, and the minister was Gil Gon-
zalez Davila.
4. In no. 1.
5. Garcia de Toledo, O.P., was a nephew of the Count of Oropesa
and cousin of the Viceroy of Peru. In 1555, he was subprior at
the Dominican house at Avila, St. Thomas. It was probably there
that Teresa met him the first time. In 1577, he went to Peru as
provincial. He returned in 1581 and died at Talavera in 1590.
6. Pedro Ibanez, in ch. 33, no. 5.
7. Gaspar de Salazar, S.J., in ch. 33, nos. 9-10.
8. In ch. 32, no. 12; ch. 33, no. 2.
9. In ch. 13, no. 14. She is referring, perhaps, to Baltasar Alvarez,
SJ. See ch. 28, nos. 14-16.
10. See 1 Th. 5:19.
11. At the time Teresa was writing this chapter, two of those who
had guided her were already dead: Peter of Alcantara, October
18, 1562, and Pedro Ibanez, O.P., February 2, 1565.
12. Gaspar de Salazar, in ch. 33, nos. 9-10.
13. Pedro Ibanez and Domingo Banez, especially the former.
14. In no. 15.
15. She is speaking of Garcia de Toledo, O.P. , who was not in Avila
at the time.
16. Teresa is speaking about the interior life of Garcia de Toledo for
whom these pages were destined. But since they were destined
for others as well, she speaks of these things in a veiled way.
17. Dona Guiomar. See ch. 30, no. 3.
18. Martin de Guzman y Barrientos, married to her half sister, Maria
de Cepeda.
19. Castellanos de la Canada, where Teresa went during her early
486
St. Teresa of Avila
illness. See ch. 3, no. 3; ch. 4, no. 6.
CHAPTER 35
1. Dona Luisa de la Cerda, in ch. 34, nos. 1,3.
2. A beata was a woman who wore a religious habit, but lived a life
of recollection and virtue outside a community. Maria de Jesus,
a young widow, after entering the Carmelite monastery in
Granada, felt called to leave before making profession and to
found a reformed Carmel. She founded the Carmel in Alcala,
a year after Teresa founded St. Joseph's, the life she inaugurated
there was extremely rigorous, and in 1568 it was mitigated by
Teresa herself.
3. The prescription of absolute poverty is not contained in the rule,
but was imposed by a brief of Gregory IX, April 6, 1229. See
Rule of St. Albert, Eds. H. Clarke, O.Carm. and B. Edwards,
O.C.D. (Aylesford: Carmelite Priory, 1973), pp. 19-21.
4. Pedro Ibanez, who at that time was living a solitary life at Trianos.
See ch. 32, nos. 16-17.
5. Doha Luisa de la Cerda.
6. Besides these oral counsels, he wrote to Teresa a famous letter
on poverty. See Monumenta, I, 17-19.
7. This was an academic title in use among Dominicans which was
the equivalent of licentiate. She is speaking of Pedro Ibanez.
8. Angel de Salazar.
9. There were more than 150 nuns according to what she later wrote
in Foundations, ch. 2, no. 1.
10. Pedro Domenech.
1 1 . See no. 8.
12. St. Joseph's in Avila.
13. Allusion to Mt. 19:29.
14. There is an allusion to three biblical passages here: Mk. 10:28;
Ps. 94:20; Mt. 7:14.
CHAPTER 36
1. Toledo.
2. Reference to the brief Ex parte vestra, February 7, 1562. See
Monumenta, I, 9-14.
3. The bishop was Don Alvaro de Mendoza, and the other
gentleman, in whose house St. Peter was staying, was probably'
Don Juan Blazquez.
4. The bishop did not at first show any willingness to accept the
Notes to the Life
monastery, but after an interview with Teresa he changed his
mind completely.
5. He died in Arenas (Avila) October 18, 1562.
6. Don Juan de Ovalle, the husband of her sister Dona Juana de
Ahumada.
7. Dona Guiomar de Ulloa.
8. To the Incarnation, as in fact happened.
9. See ch. 35, no. 8.
10. August 24, 1562. There were four: Antonia Henao (del Espiritu
Santo), Maria de la Paz (de la Cruz),- Ursula Revilla (de los San-
tos), and Maria de Avila (de San Jose).
11. They were Dona Ines and Dona Ana de Tapia. Later, as Dis-
calced, they were known as Ines de Jesus and Ana de la
Encarnacion.
12. In no. 3; ch. 33, no. 11.
13. See ch. 33, nos. 1-2.
14. Despite this remark, historians point out that Ursula de los San-
tos, for example, brought three hundred ducats.
15. Allusion to Ph. 4:13.
16. In ch. 32, nos. 14-15; ch. 33, no. 2.
17. The prioress of the Incarnation at that time was Dona Maria
Cimbron. She was elected in August, 1562, in those elections
Teresa had so feared. See ch. 35, nos. 7-8.
18. She is referring to the particular ceremony in which one in the
chapter of faults publicly accuses oneself before the provincial.
19. Domingo Banez.
20. Don Gonzalo de Aranda.
21. Francisco de Salcedo. See ch. 32, no. 18.
22. Gaspar Daza, in ch. 23, no. 6.
23. This letter has been lost.
24. See ch. 27, no. 19.
25. It is not known who this person was.
26. Pedro Ibanez.
27. Obviously Teresa is very careful in recording this data. But the
Apostolic Constitution, Quae Honorem Conditoris, which contains
the text of the Carmelite rule as ordained by Cardinal Hugo, was
given in 1247. It is noteworthy that the Carmelite rule was com-
posed about 1209 by St. Albert, patriarch of Jerusalem, and was
approved by Honorius III, with the bull Ut vivendi normam, in
1226. Later, it was modified by Innocent IV in 1247 and
mitigated by Eugene IV in 1432. When Teresa writes that in her
488
St. Teresa of Avila
monastery they keep the rule of our Lady of Mt. Carmel without
mitigation, she is referring to their giving up the text mitigated
by Eugene IV, which was observed in the monastery of the In-
carnation. They substituted for this text the rule as approved by
Innocent IV. This was the juridical and spiritual point of depar-
ture for her reform. See Rule of Saint Albert, also Monumenta, I,
455-459.
28. Maria de Jesus, in ch. 35, nos. 1 ff.
29. She is addressing Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
30. See ch. 32, note 11.
CHAPTER 37
1. With this chapter she begins the last fragment of her Life. This
was written, as she says, by order of God and her directors.
2. Domingo Banez, O.P. and Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
3. See ch. 30, nos. 8-18.
4. In ch. 30, nos. 8-18.
5. In ch. 11, nos. 15-16.
CHAPTER 38
1. Allusion to 2 Co. 12:2-4 and to Letters of St. Jerome, Letter 22:
to Eustochium.
2. She is speaking of Dona Luisa de la Cerda. See ch. 34, no. 1.
She mentions her heart trouble in ch. 4, no. 5; ch. 5, no. 7; ch.
7, no. 11.
3. This probably happened May 29, 1563. The secluded spot was
one of the hermitages at the monastery of St. Joseph. "A volume
by the Carthusian" refers to the Life of Christ written in Latin by
the Carthusian, Ludolph of Saxony. The four volumes were
translated into Spanish and first printed in 1502 at Alcala. The
meditation for Pentecost deals with the three stages of the spiritual
life: beginners, proficients, and the perfect.
4. Pedro Ibanez.
5. Pedro Ibanez.
6. Gaspar de Salazar.
7. At the beginning of no. 16.
8. She wrote about the effects of the visions in ch. 28, nos. 10-13;
ch. 32, no. 12; and of the differences in degree in ch. 37, no. 2.
9. In no. 23.
10. Gregorio Fernandez.
11. This nun and the one mentioned in no. 29 both died at the
Notes to the Life
489
Incarnation.
12. That is, an intellectual vision. See ch. 27, no. 2.
13. At the College of St. Giles in Avila. She speaks of these trials
in chaps. 23-25 and especially in ch. 30, particularly in no. 8.
14. The brother's name was Alonso de Henao. He died April 11,
1557.
15. She is speaking of Diego Matias, a Carmelite in Avila, who for
some time had been confessor at the Incarnation.
16. In ch. 37, no. 1. She will repeat this in ch. 39, no. 20 and in
ch. 40, no. 17.
17. In ch. 38, no. 13.
18. See 1 Co. 15:41.
CHAPTER 39
1 . She is alluding to the imaginative visions of the humanity of the
Lord, which were the more frequent. See ch. 29, no. 4; ch. 37,
no. 4.
2. This was her first cousin, Pedro Mejia. He was suffering from
stones.
3. Probably Gaspar de Salazar, S.J. See ch. 33, no. 7.
4. The hermitage of Christ at the Pillar in the monastery of St.
Joseph in Avila was so called because of a beautiful painting of
Christ done under the direction of Teresa herself, Isabel de San-
to Domingo declared in her testimony for the processes of Teresa's
canonization: "This painting of Christ at the Pillar, the Holy
Mother had painted in the said hermitage, after spending many
hours of prayer over it, and instructing a very good painter in
the way it should be painted, and how he should do the cords,
the wounds, the face, the hair, and especially a tattered piece on
the left arm near the elbow. And this declarant knows, as she
heard it from some Religious who were present, that, when the
painting was finished, and the Holy Mother went to see it, she
was enraptured before it, in the presence of the painter, without
being able to prevent it." Depositions of the Processes of St. Teresa
of Jesus, trans. E. Sarmiento and a Carmelite nun (Flemington,
N.J.: The Carmel, 1969), pp. 229-230.
5. Garcia de Toledo, O.P., and Domingo Bafiez, O.P.
6. Dona Luisa de la Cerda, in ch. 34, nos. 1 ff.
7. The thought is left suspended here and is interrupted by a sud-
den digression, a characteristic of Teresa's spontaneous way of
writing.
490
St. Teresa of Avila
8. She could be referring to Isabel de San Pablo, who made profes-
sion at the age of seventeen; to Maria Bautista, Maria de San
Jeronimo, and Isabel de Santo Domingo, who were all young
and received the religious habit between 1563 and 1564.
9. She is referring to the bull of Pius IV, Cum a Nobis petitur, given
July 17, 1565. See Monumenta, I, 43-47.
10. Mt. 20:12.
11. Seech. 10, no. 7. She returns here to speak of the vision she was
about to relate in no. 8.
12. Teresa is humbly reticent about words the Lord speaks to her
in her own favor. See ch. 38, no. 32; ch. 40, nos. 2, 17.
13. See ch. 7, no. 19; ch. 31, no. 12.
14. Allusion to oral accounts given to Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
15. Rv. 4:6-8; Ezk. 1:5 ff.
16. In ch. 29, no. 13.
17. See ch. 37, no. 7; ch. 21, no. 9.
18. She probably read it in Osuna's Third Spiritual Alphabet, XVI, ch.
5.
19. In no. 20.
20. The Lord uses the words of Ps. 4:3.
21. Not a psalm but the Athanasian Creed which used to be recited
at times in the Divine Office.
22. The College of St. Giles in Avila.
CHAPTER 40
1. She speaks of this vision in ch. 32, and of her lasting remem-
brance of it in nos. 1 and 4 of ch. 32.
2. Allusion to Mt. 5:18.
3. This whole passage (nos. 1-4) is a typical example of an ineffable
mystical experience of truth as an attribute of God and as con-
tained in Sacred Scripture.
4. This is the mystical experience that serves as the foundation for
Teresa's doctrine on humility. See the Interior Castle, VI, ch. 10,
no. 7.
5. That is, she sees Him in an imaginative vision and in glorified
form. See ch. 28, nos. 1, 3; ch. 29, no. 4; ch. 37, no. 4; ch. 39,
no. 1 .
6. Of all the mystical graces Teresa refers to in her Life, this is one
of the most doctrinally fruitful. It provided a basis for her book
Interior Castle (I, ch. 1) and for one of the most beautiful chapters
on The Way of Perfection, ch. 28, nos. 9-12. See also Spir Test.,
Notes to the Life
491
20, 13, 14.
7. In ch. 9, nos. 4-6. She stresses this in chaps. 28 and 29 of The
Way of Perfection.
8. The books she alludes to are probably Osuna's Third Spiritual
Alphabet (XVIII, 1) and Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion (III, chaps.
22 and 41). As for St. Augustine, she is referring either to the
pseudo-Augustinian Soliloquies, ch. 31; or to the Confessions , X,
ch. 27. See Interior Castle IV, ch. 3, no. 3; VI, ch. 7, no. 9; The
Way of Perfection, ch. 28, no. 2.
9. The absorption or suspension of all the faculties doesn't last long.
See ch. 18, no. 12; ch. 20, no. 18. As for the semi-ecstatic state
that follows the total absorption, see ch. 20, no. 19.
10. She does so in no. 10.
11. Mentioned in no. 5.
12. Teresa delicately avoids further specification about the religious
order. As a result, these lines,, which today go almost unnoticed,
were in the past the occasion of heated disputes during entire cen-
turies. Gratian identifies the order as Dominican; Ribera, as
Jesuit; there were other claims that it was Franciscan, Teresa's
own Carmelite reform, and, finally, Augustinian. These nos.
12-15 were drawn as well into other disputes. For the whole
strange story, see Tomas Alvarez (de la Cruz), "Pleito Sobre Vi-
siones," in Ephemerides Carmeliticae, VIII (Rome, 1957), 3-43.
13. The Inquisitor, Francisco de Soto y Salazar. See Spir. Test. , 58,
note 12.
14. See ch. 7, no. 11.
15. In ch. 30, nos. 8 ff.
16. In ch. 26, no. 4; ch. 38, no. 1.
17. Monastery of St. Joseph.
18 Garcia de Toledo, O.P.: "lord," because of his noble lineage;
"father ," because of his deep interest in her soul's welfare.
19. One of these three was for certain Domingo Bafiez, O.P., the
other two were probably Baltasar Alvarez, S.J., and Caspar de
Salazar, S.J.
EPILOGUE
1. Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
2. See ch. 10, no. 8; ch. 30, no. 22; ch. 37, no. 1.
3. She refers to St. John of Avila, to whom she does in fact send
the book.
492
St. Teresa of Avila
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies
TESTIMONY 1
1. Addressed to Pedro Ibanez, O.P. See Life, ch. 33, nos. 5-6.
2. Concerning this illness of St. Teresa, see Life, ch. 7, no. 11; ch.
40, no. 20; Spir. Test., 22, no. 2.
3. See Life, ch. 25, no. 14.
TESTIMONY 2
1. Written for Pedro Ibanez, O.P.
2. This improvement came while she was staying with Doha Luisa
de la Cerda. See Life, ch. 34, nos. 3-5.
TESTIMONY 3
1. Written for Garcia de Toledo, O.P.
2. She is referring to the foundation of St. Joseph's at Avila. See
Life, ch. 32, nos. 14-15.
3. Ga. 2:20.
4. Domingo Bahez, O.P. A kind of epilogue to the previous
testimonies, this no. 13 is preceded by the symbol IHS.
5. Mancio de Corpus Christi, O.P. , a noted Dominican theologian
who taught theology for sixteen years at the University of Alcala
and for eleven at that of Salamanca.
TESTIMONY 4
1. Historians have looked upon this obscure account as referring
to a prophecy about St. Teresa's death. However, if twenty-one
more years of her life remained, she would have died in 1590;
whereas she died in 1582.
TESTIMONY 5
1. She is referring to Martin Ramirez, a merchant from Toledo,
through whose charitable bequest she was able to make the foun-
dation at Toledo. See Foundations, ch. 15, no. 16.
TESTIMONY 6
1 . St. Teresa was doubtful about making foundations in small towns,
since she would then be forced to accept endowments for their
support. See Foundations, ch. 9, no. 2.
2. Jb. 16:1.
3. See Foundations, ch. 3.
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies
493
TESTIMONY 7
1. See Life, ch. 34, no. 10.
TESTIMONY 9
1. See Life, ch. 20, no. 5 and note 5.
TESTIMONY 11
1. St. Teresa inaugurated her Carmel in Alba on January 25, 1571.
See Foundations , ch. 20, no. 14. On February 2nd, she went back
to Salamanca, and it was most probably there that she received
this favor.
TESTIMONY 12
1. This was written for her confessor Martin Gutierrez, S.J., who
was rector of the Jesuit house in Salamanca. He helped Teresa
with the foundation she made in that city. See Foundations, ch.
18, no. 1.
2. The Sister who sang was Isabel de Jesus (Jimena). See Int. Cas-
tle, VI, ch. 11, nos. 8-10.
3. See Lk. 2:35.
TESTIMONY 13
1. Jn. 14:23.
2. See Int. Castle, VII, ch. 1, no. 6.
3. See Life, ch. 23, note 7.
TESTIMONY 14
1 . See Spir. Test. , 13.
2. June 30, 1571.
TESTIMONY 15
1. See Life, ch. 40, no. 21.
2. Tt. 2:5, 1 Co. 14:34.
TESTIMONY 16
1. July 10, 1571.
2. Agustfn de Ahumada, who went to South America in 1544 and
served the king in Peru and Chile. Later he served as governor
of Tacuman (Argentina). He did not return to Spain until after
Teresa's death.
3. The reference is to her reluctance to accept the appointment as
494
St. Teresa of Avila
prioress of the Incarnation made by the Apostolic Visitor, Pedro
Fernandez, O.P. See Foundations, ch. 21, no. 1.
TESTIMONY 19
1. See Foundations, ch. 28, nos. 21-36.
TESTIMONY 20
1. Sg. 4:16.
TESTIMONY 21
1. She is speaking of a painting given her by the Countess of Osor-
no, Dona Maria de Velasco, a friend of hers who lived in
Valladolid. The painting is still preserved at St. Joseph's of Avila
2. When she took possession of her office as prioress of the incar-
nation, October 14, 1571, she placed a statue of Our Lady of
Clemency in the prioress's stall with the kevs to the monastery
in its hands.
TESTIMONY 25
1. Lk 1:47.
2. She is probably referring 10 Father Martin Gutierrez, S.J., rec-
tor of the Jesuit college in Salamanca. See Spir lest. , 12, note ! .
TESTIMONY 28
L This is a probable reference to an event reported by \ epe^ in
his life of St. Teresa. One dav in Toledo, Teresa was envving
St. Mary Magdalene lor the love our Lord had for her The Lord
■hen appeared to Teresa ana said: "While I was on earth, ( took
ner for mv friend; but now (hat I am in heaven. I have cnosen
you
TESTIMONY L'9
1 S<-e Spir 'D si !;> and \ 4
TESTIMONY M
1. In May 1572, the Apostolic Visitor, Pedro Fernandez, O.P at
the request of St. Teresa, sent St. John of the Cross (o Avila to
be confessor to the nuns at the- Incarnation.
TESTIMONY T!
i Mt. 17:1-9
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies
495
2. Lk. 2:34-35.
3. Jn. 13:16.
TESTIMONY 33
1. Ex. 14:5-31.
TESTIMONY 34
1. This incomplete testimony is almost certainly spurious. She was
in Beas from February to May in 1575.
TESTIMONY 35
1. This is a rough draft concerning the vow of obedience she made
to her superior and director, Father Gratian.
2. She arrived in Ecija, Andalusia, on her way to Seville.
3 See Life, ch. 38, no. 9.
TESTIMONY 36
L Ps 147:14.
2 May 23, 1575, in the hermitage of St Anne
3 See Life, ch. 38, no. 9; Spir. Test., 64.
4. See Letters, to Gratian, Jan. 9, 1577
TESTIMONY 37
1 . See Spir Test. , 28.
TESTIMONY 38
1 Eliseus is a pseudonym St. Teresa used m referring to father
Gratian.
TESTIMONY ?Q
2 Recording to J- a 5 her Grjnan, sht is referring mcm- *o tht least
oi The Presents ion of Our Lady in ihv Tempi*-
FES n MO NY 40
1 See Spir Test. 14
TESTIMONY 41
L Her brothers Lorenzo and Pedro arrived at the port of Saniucar
upon their return from America on August 12, 1575 She is refer-
ring to her brother, Lorenzo, who brought with him his children
496
St. Teresa of Avila
See Foundations, ch. 25, no. 3.
2. See Constitutions (Avila 1567), on Enclosure.
TESTIMONY 45
1 . She is speaking of a monastery of Calced Carmelite nuns in Pater-
na and its reform by some nuns from her Carmel in Seville.
TESTIMONY 46
1. See Int. Castle, VI, ch. 5, no. 6.
TESTIMONY 49
1. Mt. 16:16.
TESTIMONY 51
1. 1 Co. 10:31.
TESTIMONY 53
1 . Allusion to the Accusation made against her to the Inquisition
of Seville by Maria del Corro. See Spir. Test., 58, note 1.
2. Father Gratian. This letter has been lost.
3. 1 Co. 10:13.
4. Because of his duties as Apostolic Visitor, Father Gratian had
to be absent from Seville most of the time.
5. In this devotional tradition, the fifth agony represented Christ
in the arms of His Blessed Mother after He had been taken down
from the cross.
TESTIMONY 54
1. She is referring to Father Gratian. as in Spir. Test., 50.
TESTIMONY 55
1. The brief concerned the visitation of the Calced Carmelites of
Andalusia.
2. Probable allusion to Spir. Test., 39.
TESTIMONY 56
1. Lk. 1:47. See Spir. Test., 39.
TESTIMONY 58
1. This is addressed to Rodrigo Alvarez, S.J., who became Teresa's
spiritual director when she was in Seville for her foundation there.
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies
When Maria del Corro was dismissed from her Carmelite com-
munity in Seville, she reported St. Teresa and her nuns to the
tribunal of the Inquisition in Seville as illuminists. The Inquisi-
tion entrusted the investigation to its consultants, Rodrigo Alvarez
and Enrique Enriquez, both Jesuits. According to the procedures,
after presenting to Teresa the accusations made against her, they
requested her answers in writing. For more details see Enrique
Llamas Martinez, O.C.D., Santa Teresa de Jesus y la Inquisicion
espanola (Madrid: CSIC, 1972).
2. Antonio Araoz, S.J. was sent to Spain by St. Ignatius of Loyola
in 1541. He met St. Teresa in Avila.
3. St. Francis Borgia. See Life, ch. 24, no. 3: Way of Perfection, ch.
31 , no. 5.
4. One of the Society's foremost administrators, Giles Gonzalez
Davila, was in contact with St. Teresa for a number of years,
especially while she was prioress at the Incarnation, 1571-1574.
5. Father Baltasar Alvarez, S.J., while still in his twenties, became
St. Teresa's confessor and guided her from 1559 to 1564. He was
at the time rector at St. Giles in Avila. See Life, ch. 28, nos. 14-16.
6. Gaspar de Salazar, SJ. , was helpful both materially and spiritual-
ly to St. Teresa while he was rector for a short while in Avila
in 1561 . Disagreements with the Bishop of Avila led to his removal
early in 1562. Later he was rector in Toledo and in Cuenca, where
in 1575 he was removed from office for undue harshness.
7. Luis de Santander, S.J., was founder and rector of the Jesuit Col-
lege at Segovia and helped St. Teresa make her foundation there
in 1574.
8. Jeronimo Martinez de Ripalda, S.J. , is best known as the author
of a famous catechism. He was Teresa's confessor at Salamanca.
It was at his command that she began to write her Foundations.
9. Pablo Hernandez, S.J., helped St. Teresa with her foundation
in Toledo in 1569.
10. Juan Ordonez, S.J., was a spiritual advisor to St. Teresa when
he was rector in Avila.
11. St. Peter of Alcantara, founder of a Franciscan reform, first met
St. Teresa in Avila in 1558. See Life, ch. 27, nos. 16-20; ch. 30,
nos. 2-7.
12. Francisco de Soto y Salazar was at first Canon of Avila, then In-
quisitor at Cordoba, Seville, and Toledo. Later, from 1571 to
1578, he was Bishop of Salamanca. See Life, ch. 40, no. 16.
13. St. John of Avila (1500-1569) was born in Almodovar del Cam-
498 St. Teresa of Avila
i
po, studied at Alcala and Salamanca, and became known as the
Apostle of Andalusia because of the great amount of preaching
he did in that area.
14. She is referring to The Book of Her Life.
15. The Way of Perfection.
16. Vicente Barron, O.P. was a consultant to the Inquisition and con-
fessor of Teresa's father. He was her confessor in her early years
and again from March, 1569 to August, 1570, when she made
her foundation in Toledo. See Life, ch 5. note 3; ch. 7, note 8.
17. Domingo Bariez, O.P. , was a professor of theology at St. Thomas
College in Avila. He was Teresa's confessor from 1561 to 1567,
and assisted her in her first foundation. Later, he was rector of
St. Gregory's College in Valladolid from 1573 to 1577.
18. Diego de Chaves, O.P., at one time confessor to Philip II, was
rector of St. Thomas in Avila, where he met St. Teresa.
19. Pedro Ibanez, O.P., was professor of theology at St. Thomas in
Avila, where he met St. Teresa. He was one of those who told
her to write her Life, and he helped her in founding her first
monastery of St. Joseph. Later, he retired to a more solitary
monastery in the province of Leon. See Life, ch. 32, nos. 16-17,
ch. 33, nos. 4-6.
20. Garcia de Toledo, O.P. , was a nephew of the Count of Orope^a.
He went to Mexico where he joined the Dominicans in 1535. He
returned to Spain in 1545. St. Teresa sent him the first redac-
tion of her Life, and he ordered her to add an account of the foun-
dation of St. Joseph (in the second redaction), all of which he
corrected together with her Way of Perfection. See Life, ch. 34, nos.
6-16.
21. Bartolome de Medina, O.P., was professor of theology at
Salamanca. At one time he was very critical of St. Teresa, but
later became one of her strong supporters.
22. Felipe de Meneses, O.P., was rector of St. Gregory's in
Valladolid, where he met St. Teresa. He was her confessor there
from 1567 to 1569.
23. Juan de Salinas, O.P., was a famous preacher and for many years
provincial of his order. 1
24. Diego de Yanguas, O.P., was a renowned preacher and
theologian. While prior in Segovia, he became St. Teresa's con-
fessor there. In collaboration with him and Gratian, she revised
her Interior Castle. It was he who ordered her to burn her
manuscript of commentary on the Song of Songs; he thought it un-j
Notes to the Spiritual Testimonies
499
suitable for a woman to write on this theme.
25. Her Life.
26. Reference to the Inquisition. See the introduction to her Life.
TESTIMONY 59
1. This testimony was also probably written for Rodrigo Alvarez,
S J. — not in his capacity as consultant to the Inquisition, but as
her spiritual director.
2. She speaks of a kind that comes before this "first prayer" in no.
25 of this testimony.
3. St. Francis Borgia, SJ. See Life, ch. 24, no. 3.
4. In no. 19, she states that the wound of love, the prayer described
in nos. 17 and 18, precedes the raptures.
5. See Life, ch. 18, no. 2.
6. St. John of Avila. His letter to St. Teresa was written on
September 12, 1568.
7. Diego de Acosta, S.J., was at the time provincial in Andalusia.
8. See Spir. Test., 21, no. 2.
TESTIMONY 60
1. For a further clarification of what she is speaking of here, see her
letter to Gratian from Toledo, September 5, 1576. The confessors
she refers to here are the Jeronimite, Diego de Yepes, and Dr.
Alonso Velazquez, who was later consecrated a bishop. See also
Foundations, ch. 30, no. 1; Spir. Test., 65.
TESTIMONY 64
1. See Life, ch. 38, no. 9.
TESTIMONY 65
1. Addressed to her former confessor at Toledo, Dr. Alonso
Velazquez, who at this time was bishop of Osma. In the margin
he wrote: "This is a part of an account Mother Teresa sent me
about her spirit and method of proceeding." See Spir. Test. , 60,
note 1.
2. See Foundations, ch. 29, no. 18.
3. See Spir. Test., 58, note 17.
4. Ibid., note 21.
5. Ibid, notes 2-10.
6. See Sg. 8:1. The allusion is to some theme or grace known to
the bishop but unknown to us.
500
St. Teresa of Avila
7. Jn. 14:23.
Notes to the Soliloquies
3
1. Ps. 4:3.
2. Ps. 103:15; Mt. 16:27.
3. 1 P. 1:19.
4
1. Mt. 22:11.
5
1. Mt. 7:7.
2. Lk. 10:40-42.
3. See Confessions, X, ch. 29.
7
1. Pr. 8:31.
2. Lk 3:22.
3. Lk. 1:46.
8
1. Jn. 6:67-68.
2. Rm 11:33; Jb. 9:10.
3. Mt. 11:28.
4. Jn 9.
5. Pr. 8:17; Mt. 7:7; 9:13.
9
1. Jn. 7:37.
10
1. Ps. 18:5.
2. Jn. 11:36.
3. Jn. 11:33.
11
1. Lk. 23:34.
Notes to the Soliloquies
501
14
1. Ps. 34:9.
2. Ezk. 18:21-22.
15
1. See Interior Castle, VI, ch. 6, no. 6.
2. Mt. 25:13.
16
1. Ws. 9:14.
2. Sg. 8:6.
3. Ps. 120:6.
4. 2 P. 1:4.
5. Rv. 19:9; 21:27.
6. Ps. 42:12.
7. Ps. 42:3; 30:13.
8. Is. 30:15.
9. Ps. 31:1.
BIBLICAL INDEX
Genesis
29:20-30 156
Exodus
14:5-31
16:3 140
2 Samuel
6:14 149
2:6 258
2:10 74
9:10 450
16:1 387
Psalms
4:3 352, 445
18:5 452
30:13 463
31:1 463
34:9 457
42:2 251
42:3 463
42:4 176
42:12 463
55:7 137
92:6 158
94:20 308
102:8 176
103:15 445
104:24 158
119:137 168
120:6 462
122:1 236
143:2 184
147:14 406
Proverbs
8:17 451
8:31 138, 449
Song of Songs
2:16 460
3:2 460
4:9 232
4:16 232, 395
5:1 409
6:5 232
8:1 437
8:6 462
Wisdom
15
172
9:14
462
15:9
149
I saiah
18:13
144
30:15
463
23:27
233
Ezechiel
23:34
454
33:11
172
John
l:55ff
352
4:15
263
18:21-22
458
6:67-68
450
Matthew
7:37
451
3:17
194
9
450
5:18
354
10:9
194
7:7
447, 451
11:33
452
7:14
308
11:36
452
9:13
172
13:16
404
11:28
450
14:2
129
11:30
118
14:23
391, 438
14:29-30
124
16:7
191
16:16
413
19:26
193
16:24
146
Romans
16:27
445
2:11
232
17:1-9
403
7:24
187
17:4
139
11:33
450
19:29
308
1 Corinthians
20:12
349
10:13
207, 415
22:11
447
10:31
414
22:14
61
14:34
391
25:13
459
15:41
342
25:18
159
2 Corinthians
25:25
141
4:7
159
27:32
233
12:2-4
330
27:45
186
Galatians
Mark
2:20
81
4:49
221
6:14
177
10:28
308
Phillipians
10:29-30
199
4:13
124, 314
Luke
1 Thessalonians
1:46
450
5:19
298
1:47
398, 417
Titus
2:34-35
403
2:5
391
2:35
389
1 Peter
3:22
449
1:19
446
5:8
148
2 Peter
7:47
139
1:4
463
10:39
197
Revelations
10:40-42
448
4:6-8
352
10:42
195
19:9
463
14:10
197
21:27
463
503
Index
Abandoned (forsaken), 429
Acceptance of God's gifts, 247
Acosta, Diego de, S.J., 499
Active life, 30, 154
Adam, 431, 445, 454
Advice, to Discalced Fathers, 434; to
her order, 321; to parents, 58, 84;
to persons of prayer, 80, 127; to
religious, 85, 111, 360; to rulers,
185-186
Affliction of soul, 350-351
Africa, 15
Aguiar, Antonio, 20
Aguila, Dona Catalina del, 468
Aguila, Dona Mencia, 478
Ahumada de, Agustm, 467, 493;
Antonio, 467, 469; Dona Beatriz,
16, 467; Hernando, 467; Juana,
467, 483, 484, 487; See TERESA
Alba de Tormes, 388, 483, 484
Alba, Duchess of, 46
Albert of Jerusalem, St., 487
Alcala de Henares, 486, 492, 498
Alcaraz, Pedro de, 23
Almodovar del Campo, 497
Alms, giving, 55, living from, 320,
381
Alumbrados, 22-24,. See also
Illuminists
Alvarez, Baltasar, S.J., 34, 418, 467,
472, 479, 480, 481, 482, 484, 485,
491, 497
Alvarez, Rodrigo, S. J., 49, 370, 491
Alvarez, Fr. Tomas (de la Cruz,)
O.C.D., 49, 370, 391
Alvarez, Davila, Don Alonso, 478,
479
America, 467, 469, 493. See also New
World
Ana de los Angeles, 472
Ana de la Encarnacion (Tapia), 483,
487
Ana de Jesus, 47
Andalusia, 46, 496, 498, 499
Angelism, 195
Angels, 211, 252, 292, 337, 352, 359
Anger and irritability, 259, 378
Anne, St., 495
Anthony of Padua, St., 194
Antonia del Espfritu Santo (Henao),
487
Antwerp, 48
Apostles, 151, 191, 234, 404
Aragonese, 22
Aranda, Gonzalo de, 479, 482, 487
Araoz, Antonio, S.J., 418, 497
Arenas (Avila), 487
Argentina, 493
Arias Pardo de Saavedra, 485
Asceticism, 23, 32, 38, 39, 45
Asia, 15
Assurance regarding favors, 26, 39,
163, 179, 201, 221-222, 237-238,
245, 249, 256, 283, 317, 379, 384,
505
506
Index
397, 415-416, 422, 429, 431-432
Attachment, 203, 360
Augustine, St., 20, 47, 103, 124,
356, 441, 448, 475, 491; pseudo-
Augustine, 441
Austerity, 19, 307, 321, 346
Avila, 15, 19, 36, 372, 382, 391-403,
418, 419, 420, 421, 434, 477-486,
498
Bafiez, Domingo, O.P., 34, 35, 47,
420, 421, 437, 472, 474, 482, 483,
485, 487, 489, 491, 492, 498
Barrientos, See Guzman
Barron, Vicente, O.P., 420, 469,
470, 475, 498
Bartholomew, St., 311
Beas, 404, 405, 495
Beata (beaterios), 19, 22, 302, 321,
486
Becedas, 19, 469
Beginners, 112-114, 117, 123-124,
127, 129, 132, 136, 145, 198, 204,
250
Benedictines, 22
Bernard, St., 194
Bishop's authority, 292, 310, 312,
316, 318
Blazquez, Don Juan, 486
Body, 118, 125, 156, 172-181, 187,
195, 228, 237, 238, 243, 333, 338,
343, 414, 427, 429, 430, 435
Books, 17-23, 24, 26, 30, 33, 34, 37,
40,62,63,66,67,68,74, 120, 136,
192, 205, 226, 261, 333, 467
Briceno y Contreras, Dona Maria,
418
Burgos, 419
Cano, Mekhior, O.P., 30, 31
Cardona, Catalina de, 394
Carmelite Fathers, 281, 282, 305,
312, 315, 320, 417, 434, 496
Carmelite nuns, 18-19, 31, 168,
279-280, 309-311, 319-320, 393,
417, 496. See also Monastery
Castellanos de la Canada, 18, 468,
469, 485
Castile, 15, 17, 22, 418, 470, 473
Catalans, 22
Catherine of Siena, St., 194
Cepeda de, Don Alonso Sanchez,
16, 17, 54, 57-60, 63, 88-90, 329,
467, 498; Dona Beatriz 54, 56, 58,
329; Dona Elvira 17; Jeromino
467; Juan 467; Leonor 483; Loren-
zo 467, 476, 484, 495; Maria (sister
of Teresa) 467, 468, 485; Maria
(relative) 483; Pedro 469, 495; Don
Pedro Sanchez 18, 468, 469, 478;
Rodrigo 16, 467.
Cerda, Dona Luisa de la, 36, 485,
486, 488, 489, 492
Cervantes, 468
Cetina, Diego de, S.J., 33, 479
Charity, 45, 93, 142, 143, 145, 147,
153, 188, 204, 207, 258, 278, 391,
399, 428, 444
Charles V, 15, 17
Chaves, Diego de, O.P., 420
Chile, 493
CHRIST
companionship of, 193, 351;
humanity of 23, 28, 38, 102, 120,
191, 192, 194, 195, 208, 209,
237, 238, 242, 246, 247, 325,
336, 414; not to be equated with
creatures, 191, 195; Incarnation,
414; risen Christ, 38, 193, 237,
247; shows annoyance, 249; is
'grieved', 397; Teresa's vision of,
28, 38, 85, 228-229, 237-242,
247, 301, 320, 324, 335, 336,
356, 415-416, 480, 481; wound-
ed Christ, yet glorified, 20, 100,
247, 335, 496
love of, 248, 134, 198, 199, 215,
221, 226, 231, 251, 325, 332,
338, 351, 397, 444, 457
tenderness of, 338, 445
Church, 30, 35, 47, 85, 127, 132,
142, 218, 248, 265, 278, 283,
286, 359, 360, 383; Teresa's sub-
mission to, 27, 109, 258,
Index
507
286-287, 420, 421, 422
Cimbron, Dona Maria, 487
Cimbron, Dona Mencia, 469
Cisneros, Cardinal, 22
Clare, St., 290
Clerics, 71, 72, 318; power to con-
secrate, 338; preaching, 100, 151
Communication, God to soul, 135,
158, 163, 176, 190, 231, 414; soul
to God, 45, 135
Community, 127, 137, 168, 281,
307, 314
Comparisons in spiritual matters,
349
Compassion, 54, 278, 381, 395
Compunction, 20; see Tears
Comuneros, 17, 25
Confessors, 21, 26, 53, 67, 71, 90,
99, 179, 207-212, 219, 223, 225,
228, 238, 240, 243, 244, 245, 247,
253, 259, 266, 269, 270, 281, 284,
285, 286, 288, 289, 302, 304, 306,
313, 325, 330, 339, 342, 343, 351,
357, 362, 375, 405, 419, 421, 433,
497, 498, 499
Confidence in God, 98, 99, 101, 103,
123, 125, 140, 166, 171, 272, 283,
317, 325, 360, 381, 384, 414, 434,
447
Conscience, 39, 68, 104, 122, 202,
224, 283, 305, 314, 318, 397, 463
Consolation, 29, 46, 103, 106, 111,
116, 117, 120, 134, 138, 144, 147,
154, 157, 166, 175, 193, 196, 197,
198, 208, 209, 211, 212, 217, 220,
260, 287, 297, 300, 306, 312, 314,
320, 321, 335, 336, 340, 344, 355,
356, 360, 390, 397, 398, 403, 433,
438
Constitutions, 303, 410
Contemplation, 20, 23, 24, 28, 30,
32, 68, 99, 154, 155, 191, 194, 196,
198, 230, 261, 298, 299, 304, 345,
398
Contrition, 203, 428
Converso, 15, 22
Cordoba, 478, 497
Courage (fortitude, strength), 18, 27,
46, 95, 98, 103, 104, 112, 115, 124,
152, 154, 164, 173, 182, 189, 190,
199, 212, 218, 221, 222, 223, 224,
233, 237, 248, 255, 263, 271, 282,
305, 307, 308, 313, 337, 339, 351,
352, 355, 383, 384, 388, 401, 415,
428, 436
Crashaw, Richard, 52
Creation, 191, 195, 393, 401, 450
Criticism, 165, 167, 168, 224, 285,
381, 382
Cuenca, 418, 497
Cyrenian, the, 233
Darkness, 361
Daughters of Jerusalem, 233, 460
David, King, 149, 251, 473
Davila, Gil Gonzalez, S.J., 418, 485,
497
Daza, Master Gaspar, 33, 35, 472,
473, 478, 479, 484, 487
Death, 73, 75-76, 100, 107, 176-178,
186, 187, 251, 331, 334, 337, 339,
340, 341, 361, 376, 385, 394, 429,
438, 457
Dejados, 23
Delight, see Joy
Delusions, 213, 216
Denis the Carthusian, 30
Depression, 377
Desert Fathers, 20
Desire, 27, 92, 104, 106, 146, 147,
148, 153, 154, 164, 165, 175-178,
181, 182, 186, 187, 224, 262, 263,
272, 280, 382, 383, 384, 390, 394,
395, 423, 424, 426, 427, 428, 430,
437, 438
Detachment, 27, 65, 125, 145, 160,
163, 165, 188, 189, 199, 212, 272,
273, 274, 308, 321, 331, 350, 380,
382, 383, 390
Determination, 44, 64, 113, 117,
118, 123, 124, 146, 199, 208, 212,
272, 274, 281, 374, 398, 408, 428
Devil, 24, 26, 29, 33, 60, 63, 69, 71,
508
Index
82, 93, 97, 98, 99, 118, 120, 122,
123, 125, 126, 127, 131, 136, 141,
144, 146, 166, 168, 169, 170, 171,
172, 201, 202, 204, 205, 206, 207,
217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223,
227, 228, 230, 238, 241, 242, 243,
244, 247, 248, 256, 257, 258, 264,
265, 266, 267, 268, 273, 277, 278,
279, 294, 312, 313, 314, 318, 319,
338, 339, 344, 353, 375, 379, 387,
399, 403, 406, 409, 421, 422, 423,
432, 455
Devotion, 23, 28, 29, 55, 79, 80, 104,
114, 117, 119, 120, 130, 144, 168,
192, 197, 217, 218, 240, 250, 425
Diaz, Ven. Maria, 481
Dignity of person, 110, 140, 272
Director. See Master (spiritual)
Discernment, 26, 137, 213, 215, 217,
218, 219, 246, 289, 298, 346
Discretion, 62, 123, 124, 125, 150,
171, 200, 206, 234, 250
Distraction, 101, 102, 125, 190, 214,
239, 303, 304, 409
Disturbances, 27, 118, 127, 155,
156, 166, 170, 190, 217, 237, 242,
257, 260, 264, 265, 305, 315, 316,
338
Divine Office, 19, 168, 267, 274,
320, 341, 353, 356, 359, 416
Domenech, Pedro, 485, 486
Dominic, St., 163, 282, 299, 316
Dominican Fathers, 22, 24, 30, 36,
46, 72, 163, 282, 286, 287,
296-299, 304, 316, 320, 334, 342,
477; College of St. Gregory, 421,
498; College of St. Thomas, 33,
478, 484, 485, 498
Doubt, 26, 163, 216, 238, 256, 312,
352
Dream, 150, 164, 256, 285, 332, 377,
381
Dryness, 28, 44, 45, 68, 104, 137,
217, 241, 257, 326, 377, 395, 418,
432; Duration of, 377
Duty, 377
Eboli, Princess of, 46
Ecija (Andalusia), 404, 495
Ecstasy, 24, 172, 184, 190, 241, 253,
474, 479
Ecuador, 469, 484
Efren de la Madre de Dios, Fr.,
O.C.D., 20, 50
Egypt, 437
Elevation of the spirit, 159, 160,
172, 173, 182, 183, 198, 331, 398,
428, 474
Elijah and Elisha, 19
"Eliseus" (Gratian), 495
Emotions. See Feelings
Enclosure, 19, 66, 83, 285, 311, 314,
346, 362, 393
Enriquez, Enrique, 497
Erasmus, 22, 25
Escorial, 47
Etiquette. See World
Eucharist. See Sacraments
Eugene IV, Pope, 483, 487
Europe, 15, 22
Evangelists, 352
Exaltations, See also Favors
Exorcise, 247
Experiences, 20, 21, 24, 29, 31, 32,
34, 38, 39, 59, 64, 65, 79, 96, 109,
110, 122, 126, 128, 129, 134, 135,
136, 137, 141, 147, 160, 161, 162,
163, 170, 171, 175, 182, 188, 193,
194, 195, 196, 197, 200, 201, 202,
211, 213, 215, 216, 218, 219, 220,
221, 226, 228, 229, 230, 232, 239-
245, 250-256, 257, 259, 260, 263,
265, 272, 287, 288, 289, 298, 299,
305, 313, 316, 322, 325, 327, 329,
330, 334, 336, 337, 338, 343, 347,
352, 353, 355, 357, 358, 421, 422,
423, 425, 426, 430, 431, 437, 438
Faculties (i.e., imagination, memory,
intellect and will), 20, 28, 38, 42,
102, 105, 114, 117, 120, 121, 128,
129, 133, 134, 139, 140, 142, 143,
147-158, 160, 161, 162, 163, 177,
180, 181, 195, 214, 215, 216, 217,
Index
509
229, 230, 239, 242, 243, 246, 256,
257, 258, 261, 357, 358, 372, 389,
395, 396, 398, 409, 414, 419, 426,
432, 438, 443, 444, 460, 461, 463,
474, 482; sleep of, 147-156, 426
Faith, 25, 27, 108, 167, 168, 199,
218, 221, 231, 232, 240, 254, 255,
257, 258, 298, 299, 312, 316, 347,
348, 377, 400, 413, 417, 419, 447,
453
Family of St. Teresa, father, 17, 18,
19, 54, 57, 58, 59, 60, 63, 87-90,
329; mother, 54, 56, 58, 329;
brothers, 16, 55, 410, 495; sisters,
17, 18, 55, 58, 66, 272, 289, 302,
310; grandfather, 15; cousins, 17,
57, 61; in-laws, 302, 310, 311;
relatives, 17, 18, 19, 57, 58, 62, 66,
211, 272, 343, 350, 373, 382, 410,
495
Fathers of the Church, 22
Faults, 62, 118, 126, 140, 183, 184,
245, 274, 315, 323, 324, 348. See
also Prayer, (rebuked in)
Favors received in prayer, 21, 26,
27, 53, 56, 67, 69, 77, 78, 80, 81,
91, 92, 104, 105, 150, 151, 160,
174, 189, 190, 198, 199, 209, 210,
218, 249, 285, 301, 322, 323, 324,
333, 334, 335, 336, 337, 390, 391,
419; resisting favors, 249.
Fear of God, 110, 136, 147, 175, 201,
245, 326, 332, 413, 429
Feelings, 20, 64, 100, 105, 117, 119,
139, 146, 157, 173, 178, 192, 217,
225, 237, 250, 259, 260, 262, 285,
306, 307, 313, 314, 326, 332, 350,
361, 362, 381, 383, 413, 427
Ferdinand and Isabella, 15
Fernandez, Gregorio, 484, 488
Fernandez, Pedro, O.P., 494
Figures of speech, ant, 273; anthill,
352; arrow, 251; banner, 181;
beehive, 142; bird (fledgling), 124,
161, 171, 181, 429; bottle, 159;
bread, 130; candle, 156; caterpillar,
273; cavalier, 145, chain and file,
273; chickens (hen), 125, 347;
child, 250; city, 159; cloud, 173;
cobwebs, 164, 184; crystal, 239;
custodian, 181; dart, 252; dead
body, 251; desert, 120, 149; dia-
mond, 358; dirt, 184; donkey, 197,
262; doves, 134, 182, 184; dung,
375; dust, 184; eagle, 173, 184,
347; file, 273; fire, 39, 141, 156,
158, 160, 164, 250, 257, 259, 263,
327, 336, 352, 428, 451, 460, 461;
flame, 158, 428; flight, 428, 474;
flight of dove, 182; flowers, 138;
food, 128, 130, 154, 165, 199, 230;
foreign country, 187, 332; foreign-
ers, 25; fortress, 159, 181; fruit,
273; garden and gardener, 110-
117; passim, 137, 166, 182, 197;
giant and straw, 198; gold, 260;
grains of salt, 347; grains of sand,
275; hart, 251, herb, 251; infant
(suckling), 130; iron, 160, 252;
jewels, 159, 243, 244, 307; king-
dom, 145; light, 239; lions, 309; li-
queur, 159; lizards, 124; madman,
261; measure (music), 273; mice,
309; mirror,, 356; moth, 155, 163;
mud, 165, 184, 198; needle, 458;
organ (music), 273; path, 258, 308;
pear tree, 182; phoenix, 352; pot
that boils, 250; road, 308; sailing
with calm wind, 262; sand, 262,
275; scarecrows, 267; sick persons,
300; sleep, 342; soldiers, 300; soot,
291; sound, 273; sponge in water,
392, 410; spark, 141, 251; spar-
row's beak, 348; sparrow hawk,
458; springs, 262; straw, 263, 274;
sun, 162, 184, 239; sundial, 180;
sword, 257; thirst, 251, 451, 457;
time (music), 273; toad, 124; toad
that flies, 198, 209; tree, 137, 273;
voice (singing), 197; water, 37,
251, 262; (See also Prayer); water
in glass, 184; living water, 263,
510
Index
451, 457; waterwheel, 197; wea-
pons, 349; wind, 262; wine, 162;
wood, 250, 263 327; worm, 165,
175; wound, 251, 430
Flemish school, 22
Flight of the spirit, 158, 428
Florence, Italy, 22
Foolishness of soul, 148, 262, 296,
327
Forgiveness of sin, 434
Fortitude. See Courage
Foundation of St. Joseph's in Avila,
280 ff. See also Monastery
France, 484
Francis of Assisi, St., 194, 254
Francis Borgia, St., 30, 35, 210, 418,
426, 478, 485, 497, 499
Franciscans, 19, 22, 23, 482, 491
Freedom, 46, 117, 119, 123, 125,
151, 157, 182, 187, 197, 209, 212,
233, 263, 270, 294, 324, 325, 329,
376, 380, 382, 390, 407, 408, 430,
434
Friendship, 28, 44, 45, 58, 61, 85,
92, 93, 96, 97, 141, 172, 184, 194,
211, 212, 221, 231, 297, 300, 335,
373, 376, 382, 390, 412, 458
Friends of God, 141, 202, 232. 325
Frustration, 122
Garcia de Toledo. See Toledo
German school, 22
Gifts from God. See Favors
Glory, 134, 149, 150, 157, 233. 236.
237, 238, 240, 242. 247, 252, 2^1
301, 302. 319, 320, 323, 334. 33b,
341, 352, 353, 438
GOD
Blessed Trinity, 39, 231, 353, 391,
395, 400, 410, 413, 414, 431,
438; indwelling of the Trinity.
393, 395, 400, 410, 413; the
Father, 305, 336, 388, 389. 391,
412, 414, 432, 449, 455, 458;
locution from the Father, 396;
the Son, 335, 391 (See also
CHRIST)
The Holy Spirit, 31, 44, 191, 202,
208, 210, 216, 254, 255, 289,
301, 333, 388, 391, 396, 401,
405, 406, 407, 431, 449, 477
fidelity of, 43, 207, 221
transcendent majesty of, 21, 336,
337, 351, 355, 358, 359
mercy of, 43, 69, 104, 138, 165,
167, 172, 257, 266, 333, 396,
445, 446, 447, 452, 456, 458, 463
presence of, 21, 28, 38, 67, 105,
120, 128, 133, 135, 143, 144,
163, 192, 194, 197, 224, 228,
229, 241, 356, 413, 432, 438
Gonzalez, Gil. See Davila
Grace, 40, 41, 42, 45, 46, 78, 106,
112, 123, 134, 136, 148, 154, 156,
208, 261, 271, 272, 275, 297, 324,
376, 391, 395, 397, 398, 399, 414,
438
Grace of speech, 40, 148
Graces received. See Favors
Granada, 467, 486
Granada, Luis de, 30
Gratian, Jerome, 408, 413, 416, 467,
468, 475, 482, 491, 495, 496, 498
Gratitude, 106, 107, 120, 122, 132,
144. 156, 165, 173, 211, 232, 307,
343, 449
Gregory the Great, St., 74, 4-77
Gregory IX, Pope, 486
Grief, 376, 377, 384, 397
Growth, 145. 275. 349
Guilt feelings, 20
Gutierrez, Martin, S.J., 4b, 493,
494
Guzman y Barrientos, Don Martin
de. 468. 485
Habit of the order, 311, 341
Harphius, 30
Health, 79, 88. 126, 162, 261, 290,
308. 322. 331. 357, 434. &<? Teresa
(health)
Hearing, 217, 231, 379, 423
Heaven, 10b, 140, 231. 233. 238,
252, 323, 121. 328, 332
Index
511
Hell, 83, 183, 187, 222, 227, 241,
259, 266, 276, 277, 278, 324, 327,
333, 354. 378, 431, 453, 454
Henao, Alonso de, 489
Heresy, 127, 151, 185, 256, 356
Hermitage, 55, 343, 393, 406, 434,
468
Hermit life, 16, 18
Hernandez, Francisca, 24
Hernandez, Pablo, S.J., 419, 497
Hernandez, Pedro, 469
Herrero, Pedro de, O.P., 46
Hilarion, St., 227
Holy Office, 420
Holy Spirit. See GOD
Honor, 58, 60, 125, 183, 185, 223,
233, 273, 274, 275
Honorius III, Pope, 487
Hope, 170, 360, 399, 463
Hortigosa, 18, 468
Hugo, Cardinal, 321, 487
Humanists, 22
Humanity of Christ. See CHRIST
Human nature, 118, 195
Humility, 20, 31, 46, 82, 93, 96, 104,
106, 120, 121, 123, 124, 138, 143,
146, 153, 164, 166, 174, 184, 188,
191, 193, 195, 196, 204, 219, 241,
242, 244, 247, 248, 256, 257, 261,
270, 273, 298, 299, 300, 308, 330,
336, 346, 347, 349, 355, 384, 397,
422, 425, 426
T of self, 462
Ibaiiez, Pedro, O.P., 32, 34, 420,
467, 472, 484, 485, 486, 487, 488,
492, 498
Ignatius of Loyola, St., 22, 25, 497
Illuminative vision, 409
Illuminative way, 191
Illuminists, 22, 23, 24, 26, 478, 497.
See also Alumbrados
Illusions, 122, 131, 151, 183, 186,
201, 238, 242, 330, 339, 350, 416,
429
Imagination. See Faculties
Imaginative visions, 38, 228, 237,
238, 242, 248, 341, 358, 390, 400,
416, 424, 436
Imperialists, 17,
Impulse of love. See Love
Iiiaquito, Ecuador, 469
Incarnation of the Second Person of
the Trinity. See CHRIST
Incarnation, Avila. See Monastery
Income, 281, 282, 284, 285, 303,
304, 318, 319, 346, 348, 381, 492
Indifference, 383
Indulgences, 101
Ines de Jesus (Tapia), 483, 487
Infused, 472. See Supernatural
Innocent IV, Pope, 321, 488
Inquisition, 16, 22, 24, 25, 27, 30,
31, 35, 47, 287, 419, 420, 496, 497,
498, 499
Institute of Carmelite Studies, 49
Intellect. See Faculties
Intellectual tendency, 30
Intellectual visions, 38, 238, 241,
252, 391, 395, 400, 415, 416, 436,
479, 489
Intention, 388
Interior life, 21, 22, 28, 37
Internal religion, 24
Intimidation, 106, 126, 129, 223
Irritability. See Anger
Isabel de la Cruz, Franciscan, 23
Isabel de Jesus (Jimena), 493
Isabel de Santo Domingo, 489, 490
Isabel de San Pablo, 483, 490
Italian school, 22
Italy, 22
Jacob, 156
James, William, 31
Jerome, St., 18, 63, 115, 330, 468,
471, 488
Jeronimites, 469, 499
Jerusalem, 233
Jesuits, 30, 31, 35, 46, 71, 201, 207,
208, 210, 211, 244, 288, 294, 299,
334, 335, 353, 437; College of St.
512
Index
Giles, Avila, 478, 489, 490, 497
Jews, 15, 22, 396
Job, 74, 258, 387
John of Avila, St., 22, 30, 46, 364,
419, 430, 491, 497, 499
John Chrysostom, St., 47
John of the Cross, St., 20, 47, 402,
475, 494
John the Evangelist, St., 438
Joseph, St., 20, 79, 80, 256, 280,
290, 291, 311, 314, 399, 404, 470,
476, 482
Joy, 20, 38, 64, 65, 82, 92, 1 13, 119,
'l23, 134, 136, 149, 152, 156, 157,
164, 179, 195, 253, 288, 289, 300,
301, .302, 322, 323, 334, 343, 388,
390, 403, 449, 459, 463
Juana, Princess Dona, 483
Judas, 169
Judging others, 377
Judgment Day, 241, 359, 458
Jurists, 472
Justice, 445, 456, 457
Knowledge, 143, 146. 165, 177,
190. 228, 229, 232, 308, 324, 326,
330, 331, 336, 339, 345, 351, 354,
355, 428, 429, 430, 432, 437, 479
Language of heaven, 121, 230, 301
Laredo, Bernardino de, 23, 35, 472,
478, 490
Lawsuit, 317, 319
Laypersons connected with Teresa's
reform, men, 202, 203, 204, 206,
309, 317; women, 211, 280, 282,
283, 289, 293, 294, 302, 303, 305
Lazarus, 452, 468
Leah, 156
Learning, 22, 26, 30, 31, 32, 121,
130, 136, 143, 153, 156, 181, 192,
202, 220, 221, 225, 228, 231, 239,
254, 257, 298, 299, 304, 311, 320,
355, 419, 423, 437
Leon, 498
Leon, Fray Luis de, O.S.A., 47, 441
Levitation, 173, 174, 476
Lie, 88, 144, 213, 223, 238, 252, 260,
295, 301, 313, 354, 356
Light, 20, 239, 330, 397, 412, 416
Limbo, 241
Liturgy, 79, 237, 290, 320, 333, 341,
252
Locutions, 29, 33, 38, 168, 199,
212-217, 220, 224, 225, 230, 231,
242, 260, 280, 281, 282, 284, 289,
297, 307, 317, 318, 343, 345, 351,
352, 354, 355, 360, 361, 395, 418,
423, 432, 436, 480
Loneliness, 390, 415
Longing for God, 372, 375, 431. 458
Love, of God, 117, 118, 119, 120.
198, 231, 241, 242, 248, 249, 250,
286, 296, 300, 308, 334, 348, 354,
384, 399, 428, 444, 445; impulse
of, 38. 40, 175, 180, 183, 187, 224,
234, 235, 249, 250, 253, 262, 286,
288, 332, 333, 'madness' of, 148,
150; wound of, 38, 430, 431, 460,
499, is fruit of prayer, 107; prayer
is the exercise of, 88; of neighbor,
278, 383, 445
Lucifer, 44, 116, 332, 452
Ludolph of Saxony, 488
Lutherans, 24, 278, 384, 399, 475
Madness against God, 454
Madrid, 47, 422
Madrid, Alonso de, Franciscan, 472
Magdalena de la Cruz, Poor Clare,
24
Malagon, 386
Malone, William, S.J., 48
Mancio de Corpus Christi, O.P.,
492
Maria Bautista (de Cepeda y
Ocampo), 472, 483, 490
Maria de Avila (de San Jose), 369,
483, 487
Maria del Corro, 496, 497
Maria de Jesus, 486, 488
Maria de la Paz (de la Cruz), 487
Maria de Santo Domingo Beata of
Piedrahita), 24
Maria de San Jeronimo, 490
Index
513
Maria de San Pablo, 472
Married persons, 125, 130, 203, 273
Martha, St., 153, 195, 426
Martin of Tours, St., 402, 459
Martyrdom, 55, 188, 271, 305
Mary of Bethany, 153, 195, 426, 478
Mary Magdalene, St., 101, 188,
197, 199, 394, 400, 408, 475, 477,
494
Mary, the Mother of God, 19, 54,
56, 73, 80, 167, 229, 256, 280, 291,
292, 303, 311, 320, 321, 333, 334,
353, 389, 395, 399, 403, 409, 411,
417, 445, 468, 477, 488, 494, 496
Master (spiritual), 21, 29, 31, 33,
67, 124, 125, 129, 130, 131, 132,
171, 181, 192, 203, 204, 205, 206,
207, 211, 219, 225, 226, 245, 254,
298, 317, 357, 407, 499; non-
submission to, 132
Matias, Diego, 489
Matthew, St., 400
Medina, Bartolome de, O.P., 46,
420, 437, 498
Medinaceli, Duke of, 485
Meditation, 28, 45, 89, 101, 128,
129, 133, 193, 208, 425, 441
Mejia, Diego, 468; Francisco, 468;
Don Hernando, 468; Pedro, 489;
Vasco, 468
Men, 22, 25, 29, 30, 31, 73, 85, 117,
121, 129-132, 143, 167, 191, 219,
228, 245, 254, 298, 304, 320, 325,
355, 357, 363
Mendoza, Bishop Don Alvaro de,
47, 472, 484, 486, 497
Meneses, Felipe de, O.P., 421, 498
Mental prayer, 19, 21, 22, 23, 26,
30, 33, 44, 82, 96, 97, 101, 116,
142, 161, 201, 329, 334, 471. See
also Prayer.
Mercy. See GOD
Mexico, 498
Michael, St., 227
Miracles, 387, 394
Mohammedans, 22
Molina, Juan de, 468
Monastery of the Incarnation,
Avila, 18, 19, 37, 393, 399, 400,
468, 470, 472, 483, 484, 488, 494,
497
Monastery of St. Joseph, Avila, 32,
36, 37, 394, 418, 434, 470, 472,
473, 479, 480, 483, 486, 488, 489,
491, 492, 494
Money, 183, 224, 289, 290, 317, 349,
374, 375
Moors, 15, 16, 18, 467, 473
Moral depravity, 24
Mortification, 204, 208, 210, 259,
348, 421, 461
Mystical life, 21, 28, 35, 37, 39, 45,
46; phenomena, 23, 26; theology,
28, 30, 105, 112, 121, 136, 158,
472. See also Supernatural.
Nakedness of spirit, 23
Natural phenomena, 186
Netherlands, 15, 22
New life, 21, 42, 200
New World, 15
Obedience, 23, 26, 130, 160, *01,
208, 210, 225, 226, 244, 248, 249,
283, 286, 287, 289, 291, 292, 293,
294, 305, 311, 312, 315, 325, 374,
379, 394, 402, 404, 405, 407, 408,
422, 425
Ocampo, Maria. See Maria Bautista
Ordonez, Juan, S.J., 419, 497
Original sin, 261. See also Adam
Oropesa, 34, 477
Osma, 369, 499
Osuna, Fray Francisco de, Francis-
can, 19, 23, 30, 469, 472, 490
Our Lady of Grace Convent, Avila,
17, 468, 471
Ovalle, Don Juan de, 484, 487
Palencia, 435
Parents. See Advice, Family
Passivity, 23, 24, 37
Pastrana, 46, 47
Paterna, 411, 496
Patience, 128, 461
514
Index
Paul, St., 124, 177, 187, 194, 207,
237, 248, 330, 392, 393, 403, 415,
475, 481
Paul VI, Pope, 47
Pavia, 17
Peace, 423. See also Quiet
Peers, E. Allison, 48
Penance, 23, 135, 209, 234, 236,
248, 251, 263, 279, 314, 319, 373,
383, 394, 434, 436. See Sacraments
Persecution, 168, 183, 226, 244, 247,
260, 270, 281, 282, 285, 286, 299,
301, 316, 317, 350, 383, 415, 422
Perseverance, 46, 96, 99, 112, 115,
140, 166
Peru, 34, 485, 493
Peso y Henao, Dona Catalina del,
467
Peter, St., 124, 139, 169, 196, 228,
248, 413, 475
Peter of Alcantara, St., 31, 32, 35,
228, 234, 235, 236, 253, 255, 281,
304, 309, 310, 318, 342, 357, 419,
472, 481, 484, 497
Philip II, 47, 483
Pius IV, Pope, 490
Poor Clares, Avila, 290, 484
Poverty, 111, 196, 281, 290, 303,
304, 305, 318, 321, 346, 348, 374,
381, 399. See also Income.
Pradonos, Juan de, S.J., 34, 479
Praise of God, 424, 452
Prayer, 19, 20, 21, 22, 28, 30, 31, 37,
44, 45, 46, 372, 376, 378, 379, 384,
385, 403, 418 ff, 425 ff, 471, 499;
answered, 342ff; apostolic efficacy
of, 113, 126, 127, 142, 154, 165,
186, 266, 317, 383; an exercise of
love, 88; as glory, 157; as work,
157; Four Waters of, first, medita-
tion, 114-133; second, prayer of
quiet, 133-147; third, sleep of
faculties, 147-156; fourth, union,
157-184; most effective, 142; of
petition, 345; person of, 328, 347,
383; rebuked in, 85, 214, 215, 224,
335, 336, 380; shared, 441; torment
in, 115, 178, 263; while sleeping,
249. See also Beginners, Con-
templation, Faculties, Medita-
tion, Mental Prayer, Quiet,
Union.
Presence of God. See GOD
Progress, 102, 119, 120, 125, 129,
142, 146, 150, 151, 179, 190, 195,
198, 272, 275, 301, 309, 321, 344,
346, 347, 357, 411
Prophecy, 208, 211, 213, 216, 224,
225, 280, 291, 293, 294, 301, 305,
335, 386, 394
Protestants, 22
Providence, 244, 284, 289, 291, 293,
308, 310, 381, 385, 462
Prudence, 130
Psyche, 37
Publican, the, 144
Purgative state, 191
Purgatory, 142, 178, 179, 268, 302,
313, 340, 341, 342, 431
Purity of blood, 25
Quiet, prayer of, 21, 23, 38, 67, 102,
129, 153, 156, 192, 201, 228, 229,
242, 426, 474. See also Prayer.
Quito, Ecuador, 469, 484
Rachel, 156
Ramirez, Martin, 492
Rapture, 28, 38, 45, 160, 172, 173,
179, 180, 181, 182, 188, 189, 198,
211, 212, 215, 235, 241, 247, 291,
292, 293, 301, 305, 329, 331, 334,
336, 351, 352, 353, 354, 355, 357,
358, 372, 374, 375, 380, 388, 389,
405, 426, 427, 431, 474, 499; dura-
tion of, 67, 180, 181, 199, 330, 333,
336, 352, 378; physical effects of,
173, 177, 178, 181, 182, 238, 251,
252, 337, 343, 357, 415, 418, 427,
430, 431, 438; spiritual effects of,
182, 188, 190, 199, 201, 214, 216,
217, 219, 224, 228, 241, 242, 249,
252, 297, 326, 353, 374, 427, 430,
431, 438
Index
515
Reading, 17, 57, 67, 68, 170, 226,
259, 261, 333, 374, 418
Reason, use of, 143, 146, 258, 282,
298
Recogidos, 23
Recollection, 19, 23, 38, 102, 114,
133, 139, 141, 192, 196, 208, 220,
226, 228, 234, 266, 296, 303, 329,
341, 356, 357, 372, 373, 374, 385,
425, 426, 434
Recreation, 86, 100, 112, 123, 205
Reform of Carmelite life, 279-284,
290, 291, 292, 293, 303, 307, 310,
316, 321; of religious life, 22
Renunciation, 144, 145
Reputation. See Honor
Revelations, 286, 330, 332, 354
Reverence, 169, 336, 355
Ribera, Francisco de, S.J., 17, 34,
370, 442, 471, 491
Rigorism, 393, 399
Ripalda, Jeronimo Martinez de,
S.J., 46, 419, 497
Rome, 17, 286, 292, 303, 309, 348,
418
Rule, 280, 303, 321
Sacraments, 167; Eucharist, 68, 75,
138, 148, 150, 160, 163, 170, 174,
192, 193, 219, 220, 240, 245, 247,
260, 280, 290, 302, 311, 313, 316,
318, 337, 338, 339, 351, 353, 356,
378, 389, 390, 391, 392, 396, 402,
410, 411, 414, 415; penance (con-
fession), 75, 90, 206, 207, 209;
anointing of the sick (extreme un-
ction), 75, 89
Sacred objects, cross (crucifix), 222,
249, 253; Holy Water, 29, 264,
265, 267; images, pictures, 29, 56,
102; religious habit (scapular), 311,
341; sign of the cross, 102, 169, 248
Saints, 43, 54, 167, 261, 332, 379,
403, 415, 456
Salamanca, 30, 46, 388, 389, 418,
419, 441, 471, 493, 494, 497, 498
Salazar, Angel de, 484, 486
Salazar, Gaspar de, S.J., 418, 484,
485, 488, 491, 497
Salcedo, Don Francisco de, 33, 35,
473, 478, 479, 482, 484, 487
Salinas, Juan de, O.P., 421, 498
Samaritan woman, the, 263
Sanctimoniales , 18
Sanlucar, 495
Santander, Luis de, S.J., 418, 497
Savanarola, 22
Scandal, 234, 282, 285, 315
Scripture, 31, 33, 61, 130, 131, 149,
156, 163, 182, 219, 232, 258, 263,
283, 287, 298, 354, 385, 393, 420,
442
Scholastics, 22
Sebastian, St., 395
Secrecy, 60, 206, 243, 310, 311, 385
Segovia, 47, 418, 421, 497, 498
Self, abandonment, 23, 152, 376; ac-
ceptance and appreciation, 57, 58,
59, 63, 294, 306, 342, 343, 361; ac-
cusation, 57, 58, 59, 63, 70, 79-87,
335-338; analysis, 372, 380, 381,
391, 392, 425, 435; complacency,
279, 349; confidence, 100, 123,
171; deception, 170, 213, 226, 286;
depreciation, 53, 55, 56, 65, 75, 93,
138, 261, 331, 391; esteem, 189,
190; excuse of, 61, 70; interest,
146, 165, 167, 184, 436; knowl-
edge, 129, 130, 146, 298, 335, 382,
391, 432; love, 125, 434, 436;
mistrust of, 272; reliance, 171; sur-
render, 42, 43, 111, 270, 388, 428,
438
Separation from God, 443
Servility, 146
Serving God, 360, 379, 383, 412,
443, 444
Serving the sick, 387
Seville, 409-418, 470, 478, 495, 496,
497
Silverio, Fr., O.C.D., 48
Sin, 21, 24, 240, 356, 394, 414, 415,
452
516
Index
Sleep in life, 362
Sleep of faculties. See Faculties
Society of Jesus. See Jesuits
Solitude, 38, 39, 67, 69, 70, 78, 83,
88, 93, 114, 116, 125, 146, 154,
157, 176, 178, 209, 220, 241, 259,
261, 315, 321, 333, 373, 382, 422,
426, 429, 437, 444, 476
Sorrow, 20
Soto y Salazar, Francisco de, 419,
491, 497
Spain in Teresa's time, 15-25,
29-30, 32, 45, 473, 483, 485, 493,
498; Catholic reform in, 22; politi-
cal situation of, 22, 23; race rela-
tions in, 25; spirituality of, 22, 23
Speech. See Figures of, Grace,
Language
Spirit (human), 398, 428
Spiritual Marriage, 402, 412
Strength of soul. See Courage
Stupor of soul, 326
Suarez, Juana, 468, 469, 483
Suffering, 98, 149, 150, 175, 177,
178, 181, 187, 196, 206, 220, 221,
223, 224, 225, 247, 251, 253, 259,
260, 264, 267, 276, 278, 279, 286,
300, 311, 313, 315, 318, 349, 361,
376, 381, 389, 391, 403, 408, 415,
422, 423, 429, 430, 431, 436, 437;
duration of, 258
Supernatural, 21, 26, 37, 39, 45,
120, 133, 136, 156, 179, 191, 192,
197, 202, 237, 241, 249, 272, 287,
298, 351, 418, 422, 425, 472
Superstition, 29
Suspension, 28, 121, 162, 177, 389,
395, 419, 426, 427; duration of,
162
Talavera, 485
Tauler, 30
Tears, 20, 65, 67, 70, 78, 92, 101,
103, 104, 105, 106, 114, 117, 119,
126, 134, 138, 164, 167, 170, 205,
207, 217, 221, 228, 238, 244, 248,
250, 263, 297, 304, 330, 361, 375,
383, 403, 419, 425, 452, 469
Temptation, 25, 83, 115, 123, 126,
127, 146, 182, 193, 217, 218, 225,
257, 260, 264, 266, 267, 268, 269,
270, 360, 400, 409, 475
TERESA of Jesus (de Ahumada),
16, 17, 20, 23, 24, 26, 27, 29, 30,
33, 34, 35, 36, 39, 40, 46, 47, 467;
age (her own references to), 56, 58,
67, 329;
as author, 16, 38, 46, 48, 49, 108,
346, 363, 364, 397, (see also
Church, Figures of speech);
character sketch, 16, 44, 383, (see
also Self);
education of, 17, 54, 57, 61, 103:
health of, 18, 19, 20, 62, 65-79,
264, 265, 314
illnesses, 19, 20, 62, 66, 71, 74, 79,
206, 210, 256, 331, 372, 438
physical description or, 16;
possible marriage of, 17, 61;
resistance to inspiration, 407;
vocation of, 18, 60-69
Theology, 30, 33, 34, 39, 136, 231,
304, 472
Thomas Aquinas, St., 25, 40, 334
Time, 374, 446, 447
Toledo, 15, 34, 380, 386, 419, 420,
433, 434, 469, 485, 486, 492, 497,
499
Toledo, Alonso Alvarez de, 470
Toledo, Garcia de, O.P., 33, 34, 36,
420, 467, 470, 472, 473, 477, 481,
483, 485, 488, 489, 490, 491, 492,
498
Toscano, Sebastian, 471
Touchiness. See Honor
Transfer to other Monastery, 269
Transformed by grace, 189, 231
Transverberation, 38, 252
Transport, 427, 474; See also Rapture
Trent, Council, 22
Trianos, 484, 486
Trinity. See GOD
Truth, 28, 31, 183, 186, 189, 194,
Index
517
223, 227, 228, 238, 249, 259, 336,
345, 346, 354, 355, 384, 413, 424
Turks, 15
Tyranny, 249
Ulloa, Dona Guiomar, 473, 479,
482, 484, 485, 487
Understanding, 40, 45, 103, 105,
122, 128, 129, 142, 148, 152, 154,
156, 157, 158, 160, lbl, 162, 163,
184, 185, 188, 189, 192, 193, 200,
205, 206, 213-217, 219, 221, 224,
225, 226, 230, 232, 233, 239, 240,
242, 243, 245, 254, 255, 258, 262,
263, 264, 270. 287, 288, 289, 297,
298, 300, 306, 308, 323, 324, 335,
336, 346, 350, 352, 354, 355, 356,
382, 400, 401, 410, 411, 413, 414,
426. 427, 429, 432, 433
Union, prayer of, 21, 23, 24, 28, 32,
38, 67. 142, 148, 153, 154, 192,
201, 205, 215, 217, 274, 357, 398,
41 1, 416, 426, 427. 474; duration
of, 67, 416, 430, 491. See also
Prayer (fourth water)
Ursula de los Santos (Revilla), 487
V aides, Fernando de, 30, 33, 480
Valencia, 468; Incarnation at, 483
Valladolid, 24, 421, 478, 494, 498
Values, comparison of, 54, 57, 62,
63, 64, 70, 71, 84, 106. 107, 115,
129, 130, 131, 132. 143, 161, 162,
234, 235, 270. 271, 274, 275, 278,
279, 324, 325, 345, 346, 385, 386,
398, 399, 443. 444
Vanity, 60, 223, 268, 295, 308, 336,
345, 355, 377
Vazquez, Dionisio, S.J., 484
Velasco, Dona Maria de (Countess
of Osorno), 494
Velazquez, Dr. Alonso, 369, 499
Vincent, Ferrer, St., 182, 476
Virtues, 23, 30, 69, 77, 108, 113,
116, 1 19, 120, 125, 126, 127, 128,
134. 135, 137, 153, 165, 171, 198,
202, 204, 244, 258, 272, 273, 274,
312, 316, 334, 350, 428
Visions and their effects, 28, 38, 39,
85, 86, 214, 215, 225, 229, 230,
237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 242, 243,
246, 247, 248, 249, 252, 260, 264,
265, 267, 268, 276, 277, 287, 290,
291, 292, 318, 319, 326, 329, 330,
332, 333, 334, 335, 337, 339, 340.
341, 342, 349, 350, 351, 352, 358,
359, 390, 391, 394, 395, 405, 406,
409, 415, 416, 418, 436. See also
CHRIST (Teresa's visions of)
Visionaries, 24
Vocal prayer, 45, 61, 82, 114, 163,
169, 220, 329, 345, 417, 426, 432
Vocation, 85, 279, 280, 303, 304,
308, 31 1, 345, 346
Water, symbol of prayer. See
Prayer.
Wealth, 331, 337
Women, 21, 24, 25, 26, 30, 32. 47,
73, 85, 98, 109. 112, 117. 122, 132,
159, 183, 186, 201, 206, 225, 235,
245, 254, 285, 290, 295, 298, 318,
357, 383, 419, 422, 452, 499
World, the, 44, 271, 295, 351, 355,
417, 429; acceptance of evil in, 92,
etiquette in. Ill, 189., 295, 308,
324, 328; manners of, 294, 295,
pleasing people in, 62, 328; relation
of religious to, 329; Teresa's vision
of, 350
Works, 23, 188. 214, 260, 327, 412,
428, 435
Wound of soul, 251 See also Love
(wound of).
Yanguas, Diego de, O.P., 421, 498
Yepes, Diego de, Jeronimite, 494,
499
Zeal, 127, 186, 316, 319, 428
The Institute of Carmelite Studies promotes research and
publication in the field of Carmelite spirituality. Its mem-
bers are Discalced Carmelites, part of a Roman Catholic
community — friars, nuns and laity — who are heirs to the
teaching and way of life of Teresa of Jesus and John of the
Cross, men and women dedicated to contemplation and
to ministry in the Church and the world. Information con-
cerning their way of life is available through local diocesan
Vocation Offices, or from the Vocation Director's Office,
514 Warren Street, Brookline, MA 02146.
The Collected Works
of
St Teresa of Avila
VOLUME TWO
The Collected Works
St. Teresa of Avila
VOLUME TWO
The Way of Perfection
Meditations on the Song of Songs
The Interior Castle
Translated by
Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D.
Otilio Rodriguez, O.C.D.
ICS Publications
Institute of Carmelite Studies
Washington, D.C.
1980
and
© Washington Province of Discalced Carmelites, Inc. 1980
ICS Publications
2131 Lincoln Road, N.E.
Washington, D.C. 20002
Typesetting by Carmel of Indianapolis
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data (Revised)
Teresa, Saint, 1515-1582.
The collected works of St. Teresa of Avila.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
CONTENTS: v. 1. The book of her life.
Spiritual testimonies. Soliloquies. —v. 2. The
way of perfection. Meditations on the Song of
Songs. The interior castle.
1. Catholic Church — Collected works.
2. Theology — Collected works - 16th century.
BX890.T353 1976 248 75-31305
ISBN 0-9600876-6-4 (v. 2)
CONTENTS
THE WAY OF PERFECTION
Introduction 15
Prologue 39
Chapter
1 The reason I founded this monastery with such strict
observance. 41
2 Treats of how one should not worry about bodily needs
and of the blessing there is in poverty. 43
3 Continues the subject she began to discuss in the first
chapter; she urges her Sisters always to busy themselves
begging God to help those who labor for the Church.
The chapter ends with an earnest plea. 47
4 Urges the observance of the rule and discusses three
things that are important for the spiritual life. Explains
the first of these, which is love of neighbor, and how
particular friendships do harm. 53
5 Continues on the subject of confessors. Speaks of the im-
portance of their being learned. 58
6 Returns to the subject already begun, that of perfect
love. 61
7 Treats of the same subject, spiritual love, and gives some
advice on how to obtain it. 65
8 The great good that lies in detaching oneself inwardly
and outwardly from all created things. 71
9 On how good it is for those who have left the world to
flee from relatives and how they find truer friends. 73
10 How it is not enough to be detached from what was men-
tioned if we are not detached from ourselves, and how
both this virtue of detachment and humility go together. 76
11 Continues to discuss mortification, and speaks about
what must be acquired in sickness. 79
12 How the true lover of God will have little regard for his
own life and honor. 81
13 Continues to discuss mortification and how one must
flee from the world's maxims and rules about honor in
order to arrive at true wisdom. 85
5
6 Contents
14 The importance of not allowing anyone to make profes-
sion whose spirit goes contrary to the things mentioned. 88
15 The great good that lies in not excusing oneself even
when blamed without fault. 90
16 The difference that must lie between the perfection of
the life of contemplatives and that of those who are
simply content with the practice of mental prayer. How
it is possible that God may at times raise a distracted
soul to perfect contemplation and the reason for His do-
ing so. This chapter and the following one are very
noteworthy. 93
17 Not all souls are suited for contemplation, and some
reach it late. The truly humble person must be content
with the path along which God leads him. 98
1 8 Continues on the same subject and tells how the trials of
contemplatives are much greater than those of persons
living an active life. This chapter is very consoling for
these latter. 102
19 Begins to discuss prayer. Speaks to souls unable to
reason with the intellect. 106
20 How in different ways consolation is never lacking on the
path of prayer. Counsels the Sisters to let their conversa-
tions deal always with prayer. 114
21 Tells how important it is to begin the practice of prayer
with great determination and not pay any attention to
obstacles set up by the devil. 117
22 Explains what mental prayer is. 121
23 Treats of how important it is for one who has begun the
path of prayer not to turn back and speaks once more of
the great value that lies in beginning with determination. 125
24 How vocal prayer must be recited with perfection, and
mental prayer joined with it. 128
25 Tells how much the soul gains through a perfect recita-
tion of vocal prayer and how God happens to raise it
from this prayer to supernatural things. 131
26 Explains a method for recollecting one's mind. Sets
down some ways of doing this. The chapter is very useful
for beginners in prayer. 133
27 Deals with the great love our Lord showed us in the first
words of the Our Father and how important it is for
Contents 7
those who truly want to be children of God to pay no at-
tention whatsoever to lineage. 137
28 Explains the nature of the prayer of recollection and sets
down some ways of getting accustomed to this form of
prayer. 140
29 Continues to present means for obtaining this prayer of
recollection. How little it should matter to us whether or
not we are favored by the bishop. 145
30 The importance of understanding what is being asked
for in prayer. Deals with the next words of the Our
Father: Sanctificetur nomen tuum, adveniat regnum
tuum. Applies these words to the prayer of quiet and
begins to explain this kind of prayer. 149
31 Continues on the same subject. Explains the nature of
the prayer of quiet. Gives some advice for those who ex-
perience it. This chapter should be carefully noted. 153
32 Discusses the words of the Our Father, Fiat voluntas tua
sicut in caelo et in terra; the great deal a person does
when he says them with full determination; and how
well the Lord repays this. [So I counsel you to be atten-
tive because the matter is very important.] 160
33 Deals with the great need we have that the Lord give us
what we ask for in these words of the Our Father: Panem
nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie. 165
34 Continues on the same subject. The matter is very
helpful with regard to the time immediately following
reception of the most Blessed Sacrament. 168
35 With a prayerful exclamation to the Eternal Father con-
cludes the subject that was begun. 174
36 Discusses these words of the Our Father: Dimitte nobis
debit a nostra. 177
37 Speaks of the excellence of this prayer, the Our Father,
and of how we shall in many ways find consolation in it. 183
38 Deals with the great need we have to beseech the Eternal
Father to grant us what we ask for in the words, Et ne nos
inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo; and ex-
plains some temptations. The subject matter is important. 185
39 Continues the same subject, gives advice about some dif-
ferent kinds of temptations, and sets down two remedies
by which to free oneself from them. 189
8
Contents
40 Tells how by striving always to walk in the love and the
fear of God we will proceed safely among so many
temptations. 192
41 Speaks of the fear of God and of how we must be on
guard against venial sins. 196
42 Discusses these last words of the Our Father: Sed libera nos
a malo. Amen. But deliver us from evil. Amen. 200
MEDITATIONS ON THE SONG OF SONGS
Introduction 207
Prologue 215
Chapter
1 Treats of the veneration with which the Sacred Scrip-
tures should be read and of the difficulty women have in
comprehending them, especially the Song of Songs. 216
2 Treats of nine kinds of false peace presented to the soul
by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Explains the
holiness of the religious state. This holiness leads to the
true peace desired by the bride in the Song of Songs. 222
3 Treats of the true peace God grants the soul and of His
union with it. Gives some examples of the heroic charity
of some servants of God. 236
4 Speaks of the prayer of quiet and of union and of the
sweetness and delight they cause in the spirit; in com-
parison, earthly delights are nothing. 242
5 Continues to deal with the prayer of union and tells of
the riches the soul acquires in it through the mediation
of the Holy Spirit. Tells of the soul's determination to
suffer trials for the Beloved. 247
6 Treats of how the benefits of this loving union surpass all
the desires of the bride. Speaks of the suspension of the
faculties and tells how some souls reach this sublime
prayer in a short time. 250
7 Explains the bride's strong desires to suffer much for
God and neighbor and the abundant fruits that come to
the Church from souls favored by the divine union and
detached from self-interest. 256
Contents
9
THE INTERIOR CASTLE
Introduction 263
[Prologue] 281
THE FIRST DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Discusses the beauty and dignity of our souls. Draws a
comparison in order to explain, and speaks of the
benefit that comes from understanding this truth and
knowing about the favors we receive from God and how
the door to this castle is prayer. 283
2 Treats of how ugly a soul is when in mortal sin and how
God wanted to let a certain person know something
about this. Discusses, also, some matters on the theme of
self-knowledge. This chapter is beneficial, for there are
noteworthy points. Explains what is meant by these
dwelling places. 288
THE SECOND DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Discusses the importance of perseverance if one is to
reach the final dwelling places; the great war the devil
wages; and the importance of taking the right road from
the beginning. Offers a remedy that has proved very efficacious. 297
THE THIRD DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Treats of what little security we can have while living in
this exile, even though we may have reached a high
state, and of how we should walk with fear. This chapter
has some good points. 304
2 Continues on the same topic; deals with dryness in
prayer; with what, in her opinion, might take place at
this stage; how it is necessary to test ourselves; and with
the fact that the Lord does try those who are in these
dwelling places. 309
10 Contents
THE FOURTH DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Discusses the difference between consolations (or feelings of
tenderness) in prayer and spiritual delights. Tells of her
happiness on learning the difference between the mind
and the intellect. This knowledge is very beneficial for
anyone who is greatly distracted in prayer. 316
2 Continues on the same subject and explains through a
comparison the nature of spiritual delight and how this
is attained by not seeking it. 322
3 Deals with the prayer of recollection which for the most
part the Lord gives before the prayer just mentioned.
Tells about its effects and about those that come from
that spiritual delight, given by the Lord, that was
discussed in the previous chapter. 327
THE FIFTH DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Begins to deal with how the soul is united to God in prayer.
Tells how one discerns whether there is any illusion.
2 Continues on the same topic. Explains the prayer of union
through an exquisite comparison. Tells about the effects it
leaves in the soul. The chapter is very important.
3 Continues on the same subject. Tells about another kind
of union the soul can reach with God's help and of how
important love of neighbor is for this union. The
chapter is very useful.
4 Continues with the same subject, explaining further this
kind of prayer. Tells how important it is to walk with
care because the devil himself uses a great deal of care in
trying to make one turn back from what was begun.
THE SIXTH DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Discusses how greater trials come when the Lord begins
to grant greater favors. Mentions some and how those
who are now in this dwelling place conduct themselves.
This chapter is good for souls undergoing interior trials. 359
2 Deals with some of the ways in which our Lord awakens
the soul. It seems there is nothing in these awakenings to
335
341
348
354
Contents
11
fear even though the experience is sublime and the
favors are great. 366
3 Deals with the same subject and tells of the manner in
which God, when pleased, speaks to the soul. Gives
counsel about how one should behave in such a matter
and not follow one's own opinion. Sets down some signs
for discerning when there is deception and when not.
This chapter is very beneficial. 370
4 Treats of when God suspends the soul in prayer with
rapture or ecstasy or transport, which are all the same in
my opinion, and how great courage is necessary to
receive sublime favors from His Majesty. 378
5 Continues on the same subject and deals with a kind of
rapture in which God raises up the soul through a flight
of the spirit, an experience different from that just ex-
plained. Tells why courage is necessary. Explains
something about this delightful favor the Lord grants.
The chapter is a very beneficial one. 386
6 Tells about an effect of the prayer discussed in the
previous chapter. How to understand whether this effect
is true rather than deceptive. Discusses another favor the
Lord grants so that the soul might be occupied in prais-
ing Him. 391
7 Discusses the kind of suffering those souls to whom God
grants the favors mentioned feel concerning their sins.
Tells what a great mistake it is, however spiritual one
may be, not to practice keeping the humanity of our
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ present in one's mind;
also His most sacred Passion and life, His glorious
Mother, and the saints. The chapter is very helpful. 397
8 Discusses how God communicates Himself to the soul
through an intellectual vision; gives some counsels. Tells
about the effects such a vision causes if it is genuine.
Recommends secrecy concerning these favors. 405
9 Treats of how the Lord communicates with the soul
through an imaginative vision; gives careful warning
against desiring to walk by this path and the reasons for
such a warning. The chapter is very beneficial. 410
10 Tells about other favors God grants the soul, in a way
different from those just mentioned, and of the great
profit that comes from them. 418
12
Contents
1 1 Treats of some desires God gives the soul that are so
powerful and vehement they place it in danger of death.
Treats also of the benefits caused by this favor the Lord
grants. 421
THE SEVENTH DWELLING PLACES
Chapter
1 Treats of the great favors God grants souls that have
entered the seventh dwelling places. Tells how in her
opinion there is a certain difference between the soul
and the spirit, although the soul is all one. The chapter
contains noteworthy doctrine. 427
2 Continues on the same subject. Explains the difference be-
tween spiritual union and spiritual marriage. Describes this
difference through some delicate comparisons. 432
3 Deals with the wonderful effects of this prayer that was
mentioned. It is necessary to pay attention and heed to
these effects, for the difference between them and the
previous ones is remarkable. 438
4 Concludes by explaining what she thinks our Lord's pur-
pose is in granting such great favors to the soul and how
it is necessary that Martha and Mary join together. This
chapter is very beneficial. 444
[Epilogue] 451
NOTES
Notes to The Way of Perfection 455
Notes to The Meditations on the Song of Songs 477
Notes to The Interior Castle 480
INDEX 501
The Way of Perfection
THE WAY OF PERFECTION
INTRODUCTION
Origins
IN THE LAST FIVE CHAPTERS of her Life, St. Teresa de-
scribes the unusual events that surrounded her first founda-
tion of a monastery for nuns. These chapters were added in her
revision of this work and were written when she was already liv-
ing in the new monastery called St. Joseph's.1 Her confessor at
the time was the Dominican theologian Domingo Banez, who
was a professor of theology at St. Thomas College in Avila. It
was another Dominican friar, however, Garcia de Toledo, for
whom she wrote her Life. Because he was anxious to have it,
she sent her final version to him without taking time to read it
over.2 This account of her life dealing with so many personal
matters and such unusual and sublime mystical experiences
passed, a few months later, into the hands of Banez. Though
the work contained excellent doctrine about contemplative
prayer, he nonetheless shunned the thought of allowing it to be
circulated among nuns or others interested in the subject.
Having got word of this work written by their Mother Foun-
dress, the nuns at St. Joseph's were understandably curious and
eager to read it. Teresa herself did not share her confessor's
misgivings and thought the book could be read profitably by
those who were favored with passive prayer.3 But since Banez
refused to hear of this and even threatened to throw the
manuscript into the fire, the nuns pressed Teresa to write
another work just for them about prayer. The learned
Dominican was more receptive to this idea, and he allowed
Teresa to "write some things about prayer."4 The nuns
15
16
St. Teresa of Avila
themselves, in addition to Banez's general permission, made
their own specific requests about the subject matter. Some of
them were eager to learn about contemplation — and even
perfect contemplation. Others, apparently frightened by the
thought of such elevated topics, asked for simpler themes such
as how to recite vocal prayer.5 In any event, Teresa wrote The
Way of Perfection for her nuns and with their requests and
needs in mind; and she therefore dialogues with them
throughout the work.
In Teresa's view, her response to the Sisters' urgings was like
an act of obedience; "I have decided to obey them,"6 she says.
And when at different times she begins to sense the lack of
order in the way she is proceeding, she comforts herself with
the thought that she is writing for her Sisters, in obedience to
them, and that they will not mind. At one point in the middle
of her work, she moans in complete dissatisfaction over the
jumbled way the material is being treated: "But what disorder
in the way I write! Really, it's as though the work were done by
one who doesn't know what she's doing. The fault is yours,
Sisters, because you are the ones who ordered me to write this.
Read it as best you can, for I am writing it as best I can. And if
you find that it is all wrong, burn it. Time is necessary to do the
work well, and I have so little as you see, for eight days must
have gone by in which I haven't written anything. So I forget
what I have said and also what I was going to say."7
When she comes to the conclusion of her work, Teresa sum-
marizes briefly the subject matter she dealt with: "how one
reaches this fount of living water, what the soul feels there,
how God satisfies it,"8 and so on. She then implies that she has
thought of this book as an introduction to her Life by asserting
that those who have reached the fount of living water will find
her Life very beneficial and receive much light from it.9
At the outset, Teresa tells of her intention to submit her
work to a theologian for censorship before turning it over to
any of her nuns to read. For reasons we do not know, the cen-
sor was not Baiiez, the person she mentions,10 but Garcia de
Toledo. Less severe as a censor than his Dominican confrere
would probably have been, Garcia de Toledo nonetheless per-
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
17
formed his task diligently, making in all about fifty correc-
tions. Some of them concerned trifles, but others were more ex-
tensive and amounted to cancelling entire pages. He obviously
had a clear grasp of the polemics underlying a number of the
topics that were discussed. Though posterity can be grateful to
him for not having consigned the book to the flames, as Teresa
suggested he might if it did not meet with his approval, the
number of corrections did call for a cautious revision of the
whole work.
Leaving the prologue almost intact, including the reference
to Bariez as the possible censor, Teresa amended the prob-
lematical passages and conformed them to the censor's opin-
ion. In addition, she elaborated on some doctrinal matters and
toned down many of the more spontaneous and confidential
assertions and some of the subtle irony that flowed from her
pen. Her second version also manifests a decided effort to write
more legibly, as though the censor might have complained of
difficulty in reading the text.
Teresa probably wrote her first redaction of The Way of
Perfection in 1566, the year after she had completed her Life.
Although some have thought the work was composed between
1562-1564, it seems from internal evidence, such as her
references to Bariez and to her Life, the date would more likely
be 1566. 11
The year in which she actually composed her second version
of The Way of Perfection is also a matter for debate. Almost
unanimously, historians of the past set 1569 as the date of com-
position. They established their opinion on the testimony given
by a young novice from the monastery of Toledo. The worth of
this testimony has been recently challenged, and the date sug-
gested is 1566. 12 Thus Teresa would have undertaken the task
as soon as the censored manuscript had been returned to her.
This opinion is based on her failure to allude to any new
Carmels founded by her or to the missionary spirit she received
from the enthusiastic Franciscan missionary Fr. Alonso
Maldonado in the autumn of 1566 after his return from the
Indies.
This second version of The Way of Perfection was censored
18
St. Teresa of Avila
again by Garcia de Toledo as well as by another censor whose
identity is unknown. Neither of them made cancellations or
observations that required any major change in the book this
time. One passage of the second redaction Teresa herself later
modified. It is in chapter 16. In answer to the question whether
God might give mystical graces to imperfect souls, Teresa
thinks that He would, so as to free them from their imperfec-
tions. But she categorically denies that contemplation would
ever be granted to someone in mortal sin. In her altered view
she simply says: "I want to say, then, that there are times when
God will want to grant some great favor to persons who are in a
bad state so as to draw them by this means out of the hands of
the devil."13
The Autographs
Happily the two autographs of The Way of Perfection cen-
sored by Garcia de Toledo are still conserved. The first is on
display in the royal library of the Escorial; and the second is
kept in the monastery of the Carmelite nuns in Valladolid, one
of Teresa's own foundations. The first manuscript, referred to
as "Escorial," begins with a prologue and continues without
any division into chapters, although Teresa did indicate where
she desired that a chapter begin. There are seventy- two
chapters and the headings of these are written in the back of
the book in Teresa's hand.
Since the length of some of the chapters in the Valladolid
manuscript was increased, there are, in all, only forty- two
chapters. Knowing now that this work would be read by others
besides her Sisters at St. Joseph's, and also, as was said, in
response to the remarks of the censors, Teresa suppressed some
of the material. But in other areas she enlarged upon the mat-
ter being discussed and developed her ideas further; for exam-
ple, this is seen in the important matter of the prayer of
recollection and quiet.
The autograph of Valladolid is the work approved by the
Dominican censor, and the text that was circulated in the new
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
19
Carmels. The copies made of Valladolid, however, were not
always carefully done. Two of the copies, which were reviewed,
corrected, and annotated by Teresa herself, are conserved to-
day in the monasteries of the Carmelite nuns in Salamanca and
Madrid.
Historical Context
In sixteenth-century Spain, political events were closely tied
to religious ideas. What was happening in the world at large,
particularly in Spain and in other parts of Europe, left its
traces on Teresa's works. What was happening in the little
world of the monastery of the Incarnation also left its mark on
Teresa and her writings. An understanding of some of these
events enlivens many of the pages of her treatises on prayer.
Reflecting on the final experiences of which Teresa writes in
her Life, the reader is left with the notion that the Castilian
Saint was living more among the Church triumphant of heaven
than the Church of this earth. She beholds the glorious risen
Christ, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the saints, and the angels. In
an extraordinary vision of the angels, she experiences the glory
of heaven within herself, though she does not see the Divinity
clearly.14 How much she was living in heaven is reflected in her
following thoughts: "These revelations helped me very much, I
think, in coming to know our true country and realizing that
we are pilgrims here below ... It happens to me sometimes that
those who I know live there are my companions and the ones in
whom I find comfort; it seems to me that they are the ones who
are truly alive and that those who live here on earth are so dead
that not even the whole world, I think, affords me company,
especially when I experience those impulses."15 All of this in
addition to the painful longings of love that she felt caused her
to surmise that she would soon die.16
The first chapter of The Way of Perfection, however, reveals
a Teresa very much back on earth, keenly distraught over the
afflicted Church. "At that time news reached me of the harm
being done in France and of the havoc the Lutherans had
20
St. Teresa of A vzla
caused and how much this miserable sect was growing. The
news distressed me greatly, and, as though I could do
something or were something, I cried to the Lord and begged
Him that I might remedy so much evil."17 What had occurred
is that some harsh rumors had reached Teresa, but her
remarks show that her knowledge of the facts was vague. It
must be remembered that her references to the Lutherans in
France represent her hazy way of speaking of Protestantism
and demonstrate neither historical nor geographical precision.
The unhappy news that had spread even to the enclosure of St.
Josephs concerned the religious war between the Catholics and
the Huguenots. Teresa's stereotyped remarks reflect the way
the ordinary people in Spain probably commented on the
news. "Churches were being destroyed, the Blessed Sacrament
taken away, many priests were being lost."18
In Teresa's mind the Church and Christianity were iden-
tical. The attack of "those Lutherans" was an attack against
Christianity, she thought. Nowhere in this work does she use
the qualifier "Catholic" to designate the members of the
Church or the Church itself. Moreover the relationship be-
tween her mystical life and the Church, both in its ministry
and its sufferings, was inseparable.
Curiously enough, despite all her locutions, visions, and
communications from God, Teresa never received revelations
destined for the Church as did other saints, such as Bridget of
Sweden, Catherine of Siena, and Margaret Mary Alacoque.
Her mystical life, rather, consisted of an inner experience of
the content of Revelation. While it issued from within the
faith, it also brought what was contained in that faith into
sharper focus resulting for her in a convinced and powerful
awareness of faith's mysteries. Understandably a love of the
faith accompanied her experiences and, in addition, moved
her to look to the Church and Scripture for guidance. In this
respect she writes: "And with this love of the faith, which God
then infuses and which is strong living faith, it always strives to
proceed in conformity with what the Church holds, asking of
this one and that, as one who has already made a firm assent to
these truths."19 And further on she adds: "For from what I see
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
21
and know through experience, a locution bears the credentials
of being from God if it is in conformity with Sacred
Scripture."20 In her mind, the faith was what the Church
holds, the truths of Sacred Scripture.
Consequently, in consulting learned men and giving them
an account of her spiritual life, Teresa was most of all con-
cerned with whether or not her life and experiences were in
agreement with the truths of the Sacred Scriptures. In a
general manifestation of her soul, written in 1563 for Garcia de
Toledo, she explains with reference to Domingo Banez: "He
was a very spiritual man and a theologian with whom I dis-
cussed everything about my soul. And he discussed these mat-
ters with other learned men, among whom was Father Mancio.
They found that none of my experiences was lacking in
conformity with Sacred Scripture. This puts me very much at
peace now, although I understand that as long as God leads me
by this path I must not trust myself in anything. So I have
always consulted others, even though I find it difficult."21 The
learned man, the theologian, is envisioned by Teresa as the
spokesman for "what the Church holds," a master in "the
truths of Sacred Scripture."
Not for the mere sake of fulfilling a formality, then, did
Teresa submit her writings. Thus, at the beginning and end of
The Way of Perfection, she mentions Fr. Banez as the one who
she thinks will take on the task of being her censor; and on two
occasions in the course of her work she states her adherence to
the faith professed by the Church.22 An interesting aside is that
only later, sometime around 1578, when reviewing her text in
preparation for its publication, she added the qualifier
"Roman." The attestation of faith at the beginning was also in-
serted at this time. Similar changes were introduced into the
Interior Castle and the Book of Foundations. These factors, it
would seem, point to little more than her eagerness for or-
thodoxy. In her simple view, she finds in "Holy Mother
Church," the truths of Revelation, the sacraments, and a fami-
ly of Christians.
"Don't allow any more harm to come to Christianity,
Lord."23 It was easy to speak of the Church as Christianity; just
22
St. Teresa of A Vila
as easily did Teresa feel that what was done against the Church
was done against Christ, "who is so roughly treated."24 What
might Teresa do to prevent this harm, these "great evils"? She
has no use for any recourse to violence. "Human forces are not
sufficient to stop the spread of this fire caused by these
heretics, even though people have tried to see if with the force
of arms they could remedy all the evil that is making such pro-
gress. It has seemed to me that what is necessary is a different
approach. . . . For as I have said, it is the ecclesiastical, not the
secular, arm that will save us."25 Now the "ecclesiastical arm"
consisted of preachers and theologians; and on the plane of
knowledge, they were the ones who must through their learn-
ing and words defend the Church. This excluded Teresa. "I
realized I was a woman and wretched and incapable of doing
any of the useful things I desired to do in the service of the
Lord."26 The result of these reflections, though, was not a sur-
render to apathy but the resolve "to do the little that was in my
power."27
This "little" developed into the Teresian ideal: a small group
of Christians (in the beginning only eleven or twelve, later in-
creased to fifteen and then to twenty-one), who would be good
friends of the Lord by striving to follow the evangelical
counsels as closely as possible and living a life of prayer for
preachers and theologians, the defenders of the Church; thus a
life in service of the Church, in service of Christ.
But a group of women dedicating themselves to a life of
prayer and contemplation in that age and in those cir-
cumstances was destined to be looked upon, if not with com-
plete distrust, then at least with caution.28 The Spanish people
in general were officially taught to follow the "level" and "safe"
paths of both the ascetical life and vocal prayer and to shun the
extraordinary ways of mysticism, especially its accessory
phenomena of locutions, visions, and revelations.
In the case of women, the teaching was put forward with
greater urgency. And the examples of false women mystics
became material for small talk and subtle threat. Moreover,
there were the interpretations of genetic laws which claimed
that women were a mistake of nature, a kind of unfinished
The Way of Perfect ion- Introduction
23
man. The shocking extent to which antifeminism could reach
is evident in a passage from a writing by Francisco de Osuna:
"Since you see your wife going about visiting many churches,
practicing many devotions, and pretending to be a saint, lock
the door; and if that isn't sufficient, break her leg if she is
young, for she can go to heaven lame from her own house
without going around in search of these suspect forms of
holiness. It is enough for a woman to hear a sermon and then
put it into practice. If she desires more, let a book be read to
her while she spins, seated at her husband's side."29 More than
mere jest was involved in a saying of the time that a woman
should be allowed to leave the house on only three occasions:
once for her baptism, another in order to go to the house of the
man she marries, and a third for her burial.
The scholastic theologians themselves were influenced by
Aristotle's reasoning that women were guided by their passions
rather than by stable judgments. In the processes for Teresa's
canonization, Banez acknowledged his unwillingness to let the
writings of women be circulated.30 And in his official judgment
of Teresa's Life, he praises her virtues but warns against the
many revelations and visions "which are always to be greatly
feared, especially in women, who are more inclined to believe
that these are from God and to make sanctity consist of
them."31
The deleterious effects these attitudes may have had on
women can be imagined; and as a woman Teresa indeed did
feel incapable of much. Nonetheless, her defense of women
was so clear and forceful in her first writing of The Way of
Perfection that the censor intervened, and she felt obliged to
omit a large portion in her revision. After pointing out that the
Lord found as much love in women as in men, and more faith,
while He was on this earth and that the world has so in-
timidated women that they do not dare do anything worth-
while in public for Him or "dare speak some truths that we la-
ment over in secret," she concludes sharply: "Since the world's
judges are sons of Adam and all of them men, there is no virtue
in women that they do not hold suspect. Yes, indeed, the day
will come, my King, when everyone will be known for what he
24
St. Teresa of A Vila
is. I do not speak for myself, because the world already knows
my wickedness — and I have rejoiced that this wickedness is
known publicly — but because I see that these are times in
which it would be wrong to undervalue virtuous and strong
souls, even though they are women."32
Teresa's small group of women were to become good friends
of the Lord, developing this friendship through a life of unceas-
ing prayer as the Carmelite rule prescribed. But over and above
their being women, the notion that they were to practice mental
prayer also created problems. For both the followers of Erasmus
and the Alumbrados went to such extremes in urging the prac-
tice of mental prayer that they manifested a certain contempt
for vocal prayer, including liturgical prayer and other
ceremonies and rituals. Whether or not such contempt was in-
deed a part of the teaching of many of the groups classified as
Alumbrados is a matter for further research. Archbishop Car-
ranza intimates the possibility of false accusations when he
speaks of a person who was accused of being an Alumbrado
merely for praying before a crucifix.33 In his defense of mental
prayer, Carranza holds that such prayer is more excellent than
vocal prayer, but he does not condemn the latter.
Nonetheless, conservative theologians feared that in the
practice of mental prayer lay the seeds of Protestantism, which
was as dreaded as the plague by both the civil and the ec-
clesiastical rulers of Spain in the golden age. The Dominican
friar Melchior Cano, a theologian at the Council of Trent and
consultant to Philip II and to the Inquisition, attacked his
fellow Dominican, Archbishop Carranza, and Luis de
Granada for promoting the practice of mental prayer among
the common people. Fernando Valdes, the Inquisitor General,
complained that Luis de Granada was trying to write things
about contemplation for mere carpenter's wives.34 It was
Valdes who published in 1559 an Index of forbidden books
which included almost all those dealing with prayer.35 The or-
dinary people were to be busy maintaining their households.
For such people, Mass and vocal prayer were sufficient.
Another theologian in this camp, Domingo Soto, confessed
that he did not understand how those who were on their knees
The Way of Perfection Introduction
25
before the tabernacle for two hours could be thinking of God
since God is invisible.36 And Mancio de Corpus Christi,
another theologian at Trent, criticized Carranza for speaking
of prayer as though it were a sharing between friends.
This was the skeptical environment in which Teresa founded
a monastery of women who would dedicate themselves to a life
of prayer, of intimate friendship with God, of living faith and
love, the most perfect exemplar of which was, for her, the
Blessed Mother, a carpenter's wife. All this mistrust of women
is clearly enough implied in Teresa's words: "You will hear
some persons frequently making objections: there are dangers;
so-and-so went astray by such means; this other one was de-
ceived; another who prayed a great deal fell away; it's harmful
to virtue; it's not for women, for they will be susceptible to illu-
sions; it's better they stick to their sewing; they don't need these
delicacies; the Our Father and the Hail Mary are sufficient."37
With the last statement, however, Teresa was in full agree-
ment. If the Our Father is to be prayed in an authentic man-
ner, it must be joined by mental prayer. Almost as if she were a
mother scolding her child, she points accusingly to the
senselessness of what was being urged. "Well, what is this,
Christians, that you say mental prayer isn't necessary? Do you
understand yourselves? Indeed, I don't think you do, and so
you desire that we all be misled. You don't know what mental
prayer is, or how vocal prayer should be recited, or what con-
templation is, for if you did you wouldn't on the one hand con-
demn what on the other hand you praise."38 Teresa, here, of-
fers a strong defense of mental prayer, but she exalts vocal
prayer joining it to mental prayer and observing that it may
lead one into perfect contemplation.
While insisting that if there is any danger that danger lies in
the neglect of mental prayer, she exclaims with enthusiasm:
"Hold fast, daughters, for they cannot take from you the Our
Father and the Hail Mary."39 Here the censor, quick to catch
the point, intervened and, going a step further from his usual
method of simply crossing out a passage, wrote in the margin:
"It seems she is reprimanding the Inquisitors for prohibiting
books on prayer."40
26
St. Teresa of Avila
That prayer is a work of the Church and particularly ef-
ficacious in the case of God's close friends, Teresa is convinced,
even though it may be women's prayer. "I trust, my Lord, in
these your servants who live here, and I know they desire and
strive for nothing else than to please You. For You they re-
nounced the little they had — and would have wanted to have
more so as to serve You with it. Since You, my Creator, are not
ungrateful, I think You will not fail to do what they beg of
You. Nor did You, Lord, when You walked in the world
despise women; rather, You always, with great compassion,
helped them."41 The petitions of these souls closely united to
Christ, she further observes, are in conformity with Him and
His Spirit and are granted through His own merits.42
This community of women that had come together to live a
life of prayer could find support also in the spirit of the
Carmelite rule. The hermits of the past who had spent their
days in rugged solitude and contemplation on Mount Carmel
were to be the group's inspiration.43 Despite the fact that
Teresa did not seem to know about the earlier Carmelite rule
written for hermits and approved by Honorius III in 1226,
there was for her enough of the eremitical spirit in the rule for
Carmelite mendicants approved in 1247 by Innocent IV to lead
her to emphasize the practice of solitude through an enclosure
and withdrawal from the world greater than that which existed
at the Incarnation.44 Because of the large numbers living in the
Incarnation and the penury of the community, the nuns were
obliged to spend more time in the company of benefactors both
in the monastery and outside in private homes. For similar
reasons, in times of sickness they often had to leave their
monastery and seek assistance outside. There were other
motives as well for which they could easily enough obtain per-
mission to leave the enclosure. Some nuns at the Incarnation
desired a stricter observance of enclosure so as to comply with
the mandate of the Council of Trent in this regard. But
Teresa's appeal was to the eremitical spirit: "For the style of life
we aim to follow is not just that of nuns but of hermits."45
Solitude was important for her small community dedicated to
prayer. Thus work in a common room was to be avoided;
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
27
"silence is better observed when each nun is by herself; and to
get used to solitude is a great help for prayer."46
Though there is much evidence to attest to the fact that the
community of the Incarnation was a devout and fervent one,
there did exist a class structure with its varying lifestyles
according to whether one was of wealthy or poor background.
Individuals were able to obtain permission to keep money,
from whatever source they may have received it, and some
were even allowed to have an income. Thus we find references
to the custom of buying and selling rooms, the better rooms, of
course, going to the richer nuns. And the nuns who were poor
didn't have rooms at all but slept in dormitories. The dif-
ference between the rich and the poor was indicated also in the
religious garb by means of such things as pleats, colors,
buckles, and so on. Some wore rings, and others owned pet
dogs. There were those who, like Teresa, kept the title dona
and had ample private quarters where members of their
families could visit or stay. Some had servants or slaves. There
were those who in virtue of their family rank took the first
places in the choir. It might be added as well that in those
times it was not unusual for many to enter a monastery as the
solution to a social problem rather than in response to a
religious vocation.47
Upon all these practices and ways of looking at religious life,
Teresa turned her back. The poverty of spirit of the gospels,
like a powerful magnet, drew her. "But the one who is from
nobler lineage should be the one to speak least about her
father. All the Sisters must be equal."48 Poverty was to be the
insignia of Teresa's nuns: "in houses, clothing, words, and
most of all in thought."49 And closely linked with detachment
from money is detachment from honor because "honor and
money always go together; anyone who wants honor doesn't
despise money, and anyone who despises money doesn't care
much about honor."50 This life of equality and humility was
meant, as Teresa envisioned it, to blossom into a life of authen-
tic sisterly love, the love Christ insisted upon for His fol-
lowers. As she puts it, "in this house where there are no more
than thirteen — nor must there be any more — all must Jbe_
28
St. Teresa of A vila
friends, all must be loved, all must be held dear, all must be
helped."51
The Central Theme
When Teresa revised The Way of Perfection after Fr. Garcia
de Toledo had examined the work, she wrote somewhat for-
mally on the opening page: "This book deals with the advice
and counsel Teresa of Jesus gives to her religious Sisters and
daughters." Only later was a title given to this book of "advice
and counsel," and the title was not composed by Teresa.
However she knew of it and approved. The title appears in her
manuscript on the opposite side of the opening page: "The
book called The Way of Perfection written by Teresa of Jesus,
a nun of the Order of our Lady of Mount Carmel." The Way
of Perfection is therefore a practical book of advice and
counsel destined to initiate the Carmelite nun into the life of
prayer. Thus, Teresa is a teacher throughout the work,
demonstrating how, pointing to the pitfalls, and explaining the
right way from the wrong.
The Foundation of Prayer
In beginning her work, she first established the reasons
behind this new manner of contemplative life. Because of her
keen desire that the Lord's friends be good ones, she wanted
the little community to follow Christ's counsels as perfectly as
possible.52 This implies careful observance of the rule, and for
Teresa the essential element of the Carmelite rule is unceasing
prayer.53 Peace is necessary for a life of prayer. Thus Teresa
avoids placing burdens on her nuns. She dwells mainly on only
three practices because these will help them to possess both in-
wardly and outwardly the peace the Lord recommends to them
and will dispose them to a life of prayer.54 What are these three
practices? Love of neighbor, detachment, and humility.
Together they form a foundation for prayer. Since they touch
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
29
upon the ties that are felt in one's relationship to others, to the
world, and to oneself, they free the spirit.
Though admittedly there is an underlying structure and a
logic in her works, Teresa makes little effort to present her
ideas according to a well-ordered plan. In her characteristical-
ly simple manner, she confesses at the outset: "Since I don't
know what I am about to say, I cannot say it in an orderly
way."55 It is not only in the first part of her work that she
speaks of these practices that serve as a foundation for prayer,
but the subjects of charity, detachment, and humility provide
material for discussion again later as effects of prayer. Her
digressions, too, for which she is well known, may cause readers
some frustration in their efforts to follow her thought; hardly
does she begin her work when she goes off into a lengthy digres-
sion (the entire second chapter) that would fit better elsewhere.
Consequently, subjects treated in one section of the book will
frequently be complemented by what is said on the matter in
other places.
Taking up the first practice, love of neighbor, Teresa
devotes four chapters to an analysis of love. Dividing love into
that which is purely spiritual and that which is mixed with sen-
suality, she met with particular difficulty in explaining the lat-
ter. After rewriting the entire part in her revision, she then tore
out the page and tried a third time.56
With regard to the whole subject of love, she complains that
the term "love" is applied to much that has nothing to do with
true and perfect love. She acknowledges the importance of
friendships and of how they must grow into this perfect love
and are enriched by it; but for her nuns living close together
and only few in number she encourages them all to be friends.
Furthermore, with her great capacity for friendship, Teresa
observed that too much restraint could frighten people away
from the service of God. "Our nature is such that this con-
straint is frightening and oppressive to others, and they flee
from following the road that you are taking, even though they
know clearly it is the more virtuous path."57 Her own spon-
taneity and freedom from excessive constraint are noticeable in
many passages of her first redaction that were censored or
30
St. Teresa of Avila
omitted in her revision. For example, in warning her nuns
against magnificent buildings, she concluded: "And if I can
say this in good conscience, may such a building fall to the
ground the day you construct one." But the words used in her
first writing are much stronger: " . . . may such a building fall to
the ground and kill you all the day you desire one."58
However sublime the spirituality of which she speaks, Teresa
would never want her daughters or any of her readers to lose
the compassion that goes with charity. "For at times it happens
that some trifle will cause as much suffering to one as a great
trial will to another; little things can bring much distress to
persons who have sensitive natures. If you are not like them, do
not fail to be compassionate."59
The subject of detachment includes all that Teresa has to
say through such expressions as poverty of spirit, mortification,
and surrender to the will of God. What she observed in the
human condition that most influenced her thinking about
detachment was "how quickly all things come to an end."60
Nor is the practice of detachment exclusively for nuns, no more
than is that of charity or humility. Though Teresa wrote The
Way of Perfection for her nuns, and it is, in a sense, a com-
mentary on the constitutions she drafted for them, the treatise
has become a popular book of spirituality since much of her
advice is applicable to whoever is reading it. Remarkably,
Teresa avoids any claim that nuns have a greater occasion for
the practice of detachment or that their life is harder; rather,
at times, she observes that married people are forced to prac-
tice greater self- discipline because of their obligations and that
people living in the world have difficult trials from which the
nuns are freed.61 She states: "I do not call 'giving up
everything' entering religious life, and the perfect soul can be
detached and humble anywhere."62
The happy result of detachment is inner freedom, freedom
from worry about bodily comfort, honor, and wealth. Con-
sidering the times in which she lived, the role Teresa gives to
spartan fasts and penances is a small one. "But I am speaking
about persons who by temperament like to be esteemed and
honored and who look at the faults of others and never at their
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
31
own, and other similar things that truly arise from lack of
humility."63
Detachment and humility: so closely joined that Teresa
could not speak of the one without the other; these two virtues
"it seems always go together."64 For humility implies detach-
ment from oneself, from worry about esteem and honor. Then,
just as the Virgin by humility drew the King of heaven to earth,
so the soul by humility draws Love into itself. "I cannot under-
stand how there could be humility without love or love without
humility; nor are these two virtues possible without detach-
ment from all creatures."65
There is that lack of self-esteem which has nothing to do
with humility and is discernible through the agitation it causes.
"Humility does not disturb or disquiet," Teresa writes,
"however great it may be; it comes with peace, delight, and
calm. . . .The pain of genuine humility doesn't agitate or afflict
the soul; rather, this humility expands it and enables it to serve
God more."66
In humility one is touched with the conviction that every
good thing comes from God. If she felt great detachment from
all things one day, Teresa knew through experience that on
another such detachment could be taken from her; and she
therefore concludes: "Now since this is true, who will be able to
say of himself that he is virtuous or rich? For at the very mo-
ment when there is need of virtue one finds oneself poor."67
A Method of Prayer
A question often proposed is whether Teresa had a method
of prayer which she taught. A popular method of prayer in her
day was that of discursive meditation. And in turning her at-
tention to the subject of prayer in the second part of her work
in which she writes a commentary on the Our Father, she
begins by referring to the many books of meditations. One of
the most famous was the Dominican friar Luis de Granada's
Book of Prayer and Meditation, published in 1554, a work she
recommends in her constitutions. While praising these books,
32
St. Teresa of A vtla
Teresa adds a significant qualification: "There are so many
good books written by able persons for those who have
methodical minds and for souls that are experienced and can
concentrate within themselves that it would be a mistake if you
pay attention to what I say about prayer."68 She, indeed, does
not intend to write for those who possess these qualities. Her
method is for those whose minds, similar to hers, are like "wild
horses."69 "I pity these souls greatly, for they seem to be like
very thirsty persons who see water in the distance, but when
they want to go there, they meet someone who prevents their
passing from the beginning through the middle to the end."70
To these persons and to all others who cannot follow the
path of discursive meditation, Teresa offers her method. In do-
ing so, she turns to the Our Father, the prayer Christ taught
us; for vocal prayer does not impede contemplation. But the
recitation of this prayer must be informed by Teresa's method,
which she calls the prayer of recollection. She calls it "recollec-
tion" because "the soul collects its faculties together and enters
within itself to be with its God."71 What is necessary along with
this centering of attention is the realization that God is very
close. She insists on the nearness of God to each one. "All the
harm comes from not truly understanding that He is near."72
Not only is He near, but He "never takes His eyes off you." And
she asks: "Who can keep you from turning the eyes of your soul
toward this Lord?"73
Her method is one of presence, of being fully present to God
in our prayer, for He is fully present to us at all times. "What
I'm trying to point out is that we should see and be present to
the One with whom we speak without turning our back on
Him."74 Centering the attention within, being fully present,
looking at, gazing upon; these are the expressions that fit her
method. "I'm not asking you now that you think about Him or
that you draw out a lot of concepts or make long and subtle
reflections with your intellect. I'm not asking you to do
anything more than look at Him."75
It is sufficient that one make the effort, and for that reason
Teresa calls this prayer of recollection a method.76
Understandably, the degrees of this recollection may vary, and
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
33
Teresa predicts that in the beginning it may be a little difficult,
but soon "the gain will be clearly seen."77
This prayer of recollection, accompanied by vocal prayer,
proved to be an excellent method, Teresa discovered, of
disposing one for contemplative prayer. "And its divine Master
comes more quickly to teach it and give it the prayer of quiet
than He would through any other method it might use."78 She
claims she "never knew what it was to pray with satisfaction un-
til the Lord taught me this method."79 And concludes:
"Therefore, Sisters, out of love for the Lord, get used to pray-
ing the Our Father with this recollection, and you will see the
benefit before long. This is a manner of praying that the soul
gets so quickly used to that it doesn't go astray, nor do the
faculties become restless, as time will tell."80
Strict adherence to any one formula never became a part of
Teresa's teaching. Her own spontaneity in prayer is displayed
on almost every page and includes petitions, praise, adoration,
offering, thanksgiving — all the forms of prayer. The opening
words of the Our Father lead her into flights of her own un-
premeditated prayer, and she teaches us to pray by praying
herself. But the Our Father is always there to return to. In ad-
dition to this freedom from restriction, she values variety in the
mode of being present to Christ: in joy, to be with Him as risen;
in trial and sadness, to be with Him in His Passion. Presence to
Christ within as He is shown to us in the different gospel ac-
counts can be a further important aid, then, to the practice of
recollection and of centering one's attention on Him. Although
risen, He still influences us through His earthly mysteries by
which He draws close to us in a more tangible way.81
At times during this prayer, the soul will feel a passive
quieting and be drawn gradually to a greater silence. "I know
there are many persons who while praying vocally, as has been
already mentioned, are raised by God to sublime contempla-
tion."82 From this method of recollection, then, Teresa goes on
to describe the prayer of quiet, the initial stage of contempla-
tion which, in her terminology, is always passive prayer and
unattainable through any human efforts. This initial stage of
contemplation, in which there is not yet a complete silencing of
34
St. Teresa of Avila
the faculties, is followed by the prayer of union in which all the
faculties come to rest in the inner silence. As contemplation
begins, the recollection takes deeper hold; the words become
fewer, one word uttered from time to time being sufficient.
But one's own efforts are of no avail in either producing or
holding on to mystical prayer. "The best way to hold on to this
favor is to understand clearly that we can neither bring it about
nor remove it; we can only receive it with gratitude, as most
unworthy of it; and this not with many words."83 Contempla-
tion is like living water drunk from the fount; yet it is different
from earthly water in that, while satisfying the soul's thirst, at
the same time it increases that thirst.
The Lord gave the Our Father in a rather obscure form,
Teresa thinks, so that each one may petition according to his
own intention. As for herself, she came to the knowledge of
many deep secrets unfolded before her by the Master who
teaches those who say this prayer. "Certainly, it never entered
my mind that this prayer contained so many deep secrets; for
now you have seen the entire spiritual way contained in it, from
the beginning stages until God engulfs the soul and gives it to
drink abundantly from the fount of living water, which He said
was to be found at the end of the way."84
The end of the way cannot be reached without Teresa's in-
domitable determination a muy determinada determination.
"They must have a great and very resolute determination to
persevere until reaching the end, come what may, happen
what may, whatever work is involved, whatever criticism arises,
whether they arrive or whether they die on the road, or even if
they don't have courage for the trials that are met, or if the
whole world collapses."85
Our Translation
Because of the demand and the lack of copies, Teresa
thought, after a time, of having her book printed; but she felt
the need of help for some careful editing. The unknown editor
she commissioned entered unscrupulously into the delicate
The Way of Perfection-Introduction
35
task. His polished text no longer bore many of the fascinating
Teresian traits. She dutifully reviewed it, patiently cancelling
and rewriting some of his excessive changes; and this
manuscript is now conserved in the monastery of the Carmelite
nuns in Toledo. It was a copy of this text that served for the
first editions of The Way of Perfection that appeared in Evora,
1583, in Salamanca, 1585, and in Valencia, 1587. But since
those acquainted with Teresa's unlabored, conversational style
were unhappy with it, Fray Luis de Leon in his edition of
Teresa's complete works chose the autograph of Valladolid as
the text. The different versions of the book, however, left the
matter very confused, even into our own century, until Fr.
Silverio brought clarity to the entire question in his critical
editions.
Our translation is of the Valladolid autograph, the work
revised by Teresa and for which she received approval from Fr.
Garcia de Toledo. A translation only of the Valladolid text,
however, would bring with it certain disadvantages. The lively
passages and interesting variations in the Escorial text would
be lost to the English-speaking reader. Many of these omissions
and variations from Escorial can be inserted into the
Valladolid text without seriously damaging the flow of
thought. We have indicated whatever is taken from Escorial
and introduced into our main text from Valladolid by enclos-
ing it in brackets. Where there are two versions of the same
passage, yet with significant differences, we give a translation
of the Escorial version in a note.
The Way of Perfection may be divided as follows:
I. Purpose of the Teresian Carmel (chs. 1-3)
II. Foundations of prayer: love of neighbor, detachment,
and humility (chs. 4-15)
III. Diversity of paths in contemplative communities (chs.
16-18)
IV. Prayer in general (chs. 19-26)
V. Commentary on the Our Father (chs. 27-42)
A. Christ as Master and Guide in prayer (chs. 26-27)
B. prayer of recollection (chs. 28-29)
36
St. Teresa of Avila
C. prayer of quiet (chs. 30-31)
D. abandonment to the will of God (ch. 32)
E. the Eucharist (chs. 33-35)
F. pardon of offenses and detachment from honor
and esteem (chs. 36-37)
G. deliverance from deception and illusions (chs.
38-41)
H. desires for eternal life (ch. 42)
1979
Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D.
Carmelite Monastery
Brookline, Massachusetts
Many have helped in the preparation of this volume and
deserve to receive an expression of gratitude. Special thanks go
to Padre Tomas de la Cruz (Alvarez) for allowing the transla-
tors to make use of his Spanish edition of the complete works of
St. Teresa. His plentiful footnotes were indispensable to us in
preparing our own notes. I would also like to thank the Carmel
in Elysburg, Pennsylvania, for its important contribution of an
index. Several other Carmels were helpful with some much-
needed editorial assistance and proofreading, the Carmels of
Danvers, Roxbury, and Indianapolis. Father Adrian Cooney
assisted with some editorial advice, and Jean Mallon carefully
typed the entire manuscript. Finally, I must express my ap-
preciation to the many who have encouraged Father Otilio and
me, after the appearance of volume one, to persevere trans-
lating through all the writings of this great Saint.
K. K.
THE WAY OF PERFECTION
The book called The Way of Perfection written by Teresa of
Jesus, a nun of the Order of our Lady of Mount Carmel. This
book is intended for the discalced nuns who observe the
primitive rule of our Lady of Mount Carmel.
37
JHS
This book deals with the advice and counsel Teresa of Jesus
gives to her religious Sisters and daughters who live in the
monasteries that, with the help of our Lord and the glorious
Virgin Mother of God, our Lady, she founded. These
monasteries follow the primitive rule of our Lady of Mount
Carmel. She directs her counsel particularly to the Sisters at St.
Joseph's monastery in Avila, which was the first foundation and
the place where she was prioress when she wrote this book.1
In all that I say in this book I submit to what our Mother the
Holy Roman Church holds.2 If there should be anything con-
trary to that, it will be due to my not understanding the mat-
ter. And so I beg the learned men who will see this work to look
it over carefully and to correct any mistake there may be as to
what the Church holds, as well as any other mistakes in other
matters. If there should be anything good in this work, may it
be for the honor and glory of God and the service of His most
Blessed Mother, our Lady and Patroness, whose habit I wear
despite my being very unworthy to do so.
38
JHS
Prologue
1. The Sisters in this monastery of St. Joseph have known
that I received permission from the Father Presentado, 1 Friar
Domingo Banez, of the order of the glorious St. Dominic, who
at present is my confessor,2 to write some things about prayer.
It seems I might be able to meet with success in doing this
because I have discussed prayer with many spiritual and holy
persons. The Sisters have urged me so persistently to tell them
something about it that I have decided to obey them. I am
aware that the great love they have for me will make what I
say, so imperfectly and with such poor style, more acceptable
than what is in some books that are very well written by those
who know what they are writing about. And I trust in the
Sisters' prayers that possibly through them the Lord will be
pleased that I manage to say something about the mode and
manner of life proper to this house. And if I should be
mistaken, the Father Presentado , who will be the first to see
this book, will either make corrections or burn it. I will not
have lost anything by obeying these servants of God, and they
will see what I have when left to myself and when His Majesty
doesn't help me.
2. I am thinking of listing some remedies for certain com-
mon, small temptations of the devil, for since they are so com-
mon perhaps little attention is paid to them. And I shall write
of other things as the Lord inspires me or that might come to
my mind; for since I don't know what I'm going to say, I can-
not say it in an orderly way. I believe this lack of order is best
since writing this book is a thing already so out of order for me.
May the Lord have a hand in all that I do so that it may con-
form to His holy will; these are my desires always, even though
my works are as faulty as I am.
39
40
St. Teresa of Avila
3. I know there is no lack of love in me and of the desire to
help as much as I can that the souls of my Sisters may advance
in the service of the Lord. This love together with my age and
the experience I have from living in some monasteries may help
me in speaking of ordinary things to be more successful than
learned men. Since these learned men have other more impor-
tant occupations and are strong, they don't pay so much atten-
tion to things that don't seem to amount to much in
themselves. But everything can be harmful to those as weak as
we women are. The wiles of the devil are many for women who
live a very cloistered life, for the devil sees that new weapons
are needed in order to do harm. I, as wretched as I am, have
known how to defend myself only poorly. So I have desired that
my Sisters might take warning from my own experience. I shall
say nothing about what I have not experienced myself or seen
in others [or received understanding of from our Lord in
prayer.]
4. Not long ago I was ordered to write a certain account of
my life, in which I also dealt with some things about prayer.3 It
could be that my confessor would not want you to see this ac-
count, and so I shall put down here something of what was said
there. I shall also write of other things that to me seem
necessary. May the Lord's own hand be in this work, as I have
begged Him; and may He direct the work to His glory, amen.
Chapter 1
The reason I founded this monastery with such strict
observance.
WHEN I BEGAN to take the first steps toward found-
ing this monastery (for the reasons given in the book I
mentioned that I wrote and also because of some great favors
from the Lord through which I learned that He would be
greatly served in this house), it was not my intention that there
be so much external austerity or that the house have no in-
come; on the contrary, I would have desired the possibility that
nothing be lacking. In sum, my intention was the intention of
the weak and wretched person that I am — although I did have
some good motives besides those involving my own comfort.
2. At that time news reached me of the harm being done in
France and of the havoc the Lutherans had caused and how
much this miserable sect was growing. The news distressed me
greatly, and, as though I could do something or were
something, I cried to the Lord and begged Him that I might
remedy so much evil. It seemed to me that I would have given a
thousand lives to save one soul out of the many that were being
lost there. I realized I was a woman and wretched and in-
capable of doing any of the useful things I desired to do in the
service of the Lord. All my longing was and still is that since He
has so many enemies and so few friends that these few friends
be good ones. As a result I resolved to do the little that was in
my power; that is, to follow the evangelical counsels as perfect-
ly as I could and strive that these few persons who live here do
the same. I did this trusting in the great goodness of God, who
never fails to help anyone who is determined to give up
everything for Him. My trust was that if these Sisters matched
the ideal my desires had set for them, my faults would not have
41
42
St. Teresa of Avila
much strength in the midst of so many virtues; and I could
thereby please the Lord in some way. Since we would all be oc-
cupied in prayer for those who are the defenders of the Church
and for preachers and for learned men who protect her from
attack, we could help as much as possible this Lord of mine
who is so roughly treated by those for whom He has done so
much good; it seems these traitors would want Him to be
crucified again and that He have no place to lay His head.
3. O my Redeemer, my heart cannot bear these thoughts
without becoming terribly grieved. What is the matter with
Christians nowadays? Must it always be those who owe You the
most who afflict You? Those for whom You performed the
greatest works, those You have chosen for Your friends, with
whom You walk and commune by means of Your sacraments?
Aren't they satisfied with the torments You have suffered for
them?
4. Indeed, my Lord, one who withdraws from the world
nowadays is not doing anything. Since the world so little ap-
preciates You, what do we expect? Do we perhaps deserve to be
treated better? Have we perhaps done better toward those in
the world that they would keep us in their friendship? What is
this? What do we now expect, those of us who through the
goodness of the Lord are freed of that contagious, scabby sore,
that sect whose followers already belong to the devil? Indeed,
they have won punishment with their own hands and have easi-
ly earned eternal fire with their pleasures. That's their worry!
Still, my heart breaks to see how many souls are lost. Though I
can't grieve so much over the evil already done — that is ir-
reparable—I would not want to see more of them lost each day.
5. O my Sisters in Christ, help me beg these things of the
Lord. This is why He has gathered you together here. This is
your vocation. These must be the business matters you're
engaged in. These must be the things you desire, the things you
weep about; these must be the objects of your petitions — not,
my Sisters, the business matters of the world. For I laugh at
and am even distressed about the things they come here to ask
us to pray for: to ask His Majesty for wealth and money — and
this is done by persons who I wish would ask Him for the grace
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 2
43
to trample everything underfoot. They are well intentioned,
and in the end we pray for their intentions because of their
devotion — although for myself I don't think the Lord ever
hears me when I pray for these things. The world is all in
flames; they want to sentence Christ again, so to speak, since
they raise a thousand false witnesses against Him; they want to
ravage His Church — and are we to waste time asking for things
that if God were to give them we'd have one soul less in heaven?
No, my Sisters, this is not the time to be discussing with God
matters that have little importance.
6. Indeed, were I not to consider the human weakness that
is consoled by receiving help in time of need (and it is good that
we help in so far as we can), I'd be happy only if people
understood that these are not the things they should be beg-
ging God for with so much care.
Chapter 2
Treats of how one should not worry about bodily needs and of
the blessing there is in poverty.
DON'T THINK, my Sisters, that because you do not strive
to please those who are in the world you will lack food. I
assure you that such will not be the case. Never seek sustenance
through human schemes, for you will die of hunger — and
rightly so. Your eyes on your Spouse! He will sustain you. Once
He is pleased, those least devoted to you will give you food even
though they may not want to, as you have seen through ex-
perience. If in following this advice you should die of hunger,
blessed be the nuns of St. Joseph's! For the love of the Lord, do
not forget this. Since you have given up an income, give up
worry about food. If you don't, everything will be lost. God
wants some to have an income, and in their case it's all right for
them to worry about their income since that goes with their
vocation; but for us to worry, Sisters, would be absurd.
2. Worry about the financial resources of others, it seems to
me, would amount to thinking about what others are enjoying.
44
St. Teresa of Avila
Indeed, your worrying won't make the other change his think-
ing, nor will it inspire him with the idea to give alms. Leave
this worrying to the One who can move all, for He is the Lord
of money and of those who earn money. By His command we
came here. His words are true; they cannot fail; rather, heaven
and earth will fail.1 Let us not fail Him; do not fear that He
will fail you. And if some time He should fail you, it will be for
a greater good. The lives of the saints failed when they were
killed because of the Lord, but this happened so that through
martyrdom their glory would be increased. It would be a good
exchange to give up everything for the enjoyment of everlasting
abundance.
3. Sisters, what I am saying is so important that I want you
to remember it after my death — and that's why I'm leaving it
for you in writing — for while I live I will remind you of it. I
have seen by experience the great gain that comes from not
worrying about such things. The less there is the more carefree
I become. The Lord knows that, in my opinion, it distresses me
more when we have a large surplus than when we are in need. I
don't know if this is because I've experienced that the Lord im-
mediately gives what we need. For us to worry about money
would amount to deceiving the world, making ourselves poor
in an exterior way but not being poor in spirit. I would feel
scrupulous, so to speak, and it would seem to me as though a
rich person were begging alms. Please God such may not be the
case, for where there are too many cares about whether others
will give us alms, sooner or later these cares will become
habitual; or it could happen that we would go asking for what
we have no need of, perhaps from someone more needy than
we ourselves. Although those who give to us cannot lose
anything but only gain, we would be losing. No, please God,
my daughters! If you should start worrying like this, I would
prefer that you have an income.
4. I beg you for the love of God and as an alms to me, in no
way let your thoughts be taken up with these cares. If at any
time such cares should be present in this house, let the
youngest Sister cry out to His Majesty and bring the matter to
the attention of the prioress. She may humbly tell the prioress
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 2
45
that the latter is mistaken, and so mistaken that little by little
true poverty will be lost. I hope in the Lord that this will never
happen and that He will not abandon His servants. May this
book you have asked me to write, even if it do no more, serve to
awaken you in these matters.
5. Believe me, my daughters, that for your good the Lord
has given me a little understanding of the blessings that lie in
holy poverty. Those who experience them will understand,
though perhaps not as much as I. For not only had I failed to
be poor in spirit, even though I professed it, but I was foolish in
spirit. Poverty of spirit is a good that includes within itself all
the good things of the world. [And I believe it has many of the
good things contained in all the virtues. I am not saying this for
certain, because I don't know the worth of each virtue. I will
not speak about what in my opinion I do not understand well.
But, for myself, I hold that poverty of spirit embraces many of
the virtues.] In it lies great dominion. I say that it gives once
again to one who doesn't care about the world's good things
dominion over them all. What do kings and lords matter to me
if I don't want their riches, or don't care to please them if in
order to do so I would have to displease God in even the
smallest thing? Nor what do I care about their honors if I have
understood that the greatest honor of a poor person lies in the
fact of his being truly poor?
6. In my opinion honor and money almost always go
together; anyone who wants honor doesn't despise money, and
anyone who despises money doesn't care much about honor.
Let this be clearly understood, for it seems to me that the
desire for honor always brings with it some interest in money or
income. It would be a wonder if any poor person were honored
in the world; on the contrary, even though he may be worthy of
honor, he is little esteemed.2 True poverty brings with it over-
whelming honor. Poverty that is chosen for God alone has no
need of pleasing anyone but Him. It is certain that in having
need of no one a person has many friends. I have become clear-
ly aware of this through experience.
7. So much is written about this virtue that I wouldn't know
how to understand it all or still less speak of it. And so in order
46
St. Teresa of Avila
not to do an injustice to this virtue by trying to praise it, I will
say no more. I have only spoken of what I have seen through
experience, and I confess that until now I have been so ab-
sorbed in speaking of these things that I did not realize I was
doing so. But since I have written this, for the love of the Lord,
keep in mind that holy poverty is our insignia and a virtue
which at the beginning, when our order was founded, was so
esteemed and well kept by our holy fathers. For I have been
told, by someone who knows, that they did not keep anything
for the next day. If exteriorly we do not carry out this practice
so perfectly, let us strive to do so interiorly. Life lasts but a cou-
ple of hours; exceedingly great will be the reward. If we should
do nothing else but what the Lord counseled us to do, the pay
of just being able in some way to imitate Him would be great.
8. These are the insignia that must be on our coat of arms,
for we must desire to observe poverty in every way: in houses,
clothing, words, and most of all in thought. As long as you do
this, have no fear that the religious life in this house will fail;
God will help. As St. Clare said, great walls are those of pover-
ty. She said that it was with walls like these, and those of
humility, that she wanted to enclose her monasteries.3 Surely,
if poverty is truly observed, recollection and all the other vir-
tues will be much better fortified than with very sumptuous
buildings. Be careful of buildings like these; I beg you for the
love of God and by His precious blood. And if I can say this in
good conscience, may such a building fall to the ground the
day you construct one.4
9. It looks very bad, my daughters, if large houses are built
with money from the poor. May God not allow it. The houses
must be poor and small in every way. Let us in some manner
resemble our King, who had no house but the stable in
Bethlehem where He was born and the cross where He died.
These were houses where there was little room for recreation.
Those who build large ones know what they are doing; they
have other holy intentions. But for thirteen poor little women,
any corner should be enough.5 If it is necessary because of the
extremely secluded life you live to have a stretch of land (and
this even helps prayer and devotion) with some hermitages
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 3
47
where you can withdraw to pray, well and good. But no
buildings, or large and ornate house. God deliver us from them!
Always remember that everything will come tumbling down on
the day of judgment. Who knows whether this will come soon?
10. Now it would not be right for the house of thirteen poor
little women to make a loud crash when it falls; the truly poor
must make no noise. They must be noiseless people so that
others will take pity on them. And how they will rejoice when
they see someone who was freed from hell because of the alms
he gave them! That's all possible because they are much
obliged to pray continually for the souls of their benefactors,
since their food comes from them. The Lord also desires that,
even though it comes from Him, we show gratitude to those
persons through whose means He gives this food to us. Do not
be negligent about showing gratitude.
11. I don't know what I began to say, for I have wandered
off the subject. I believe the Lord wanted me to do so, for I
never thought about saying what I have said here. May His
Majesty always help us so that we never fail in the practice of
poverty, amen.
Chapter 3
Continues the subject she began to discuss in the first chapter;
she urges her Sisters always to busy themselves begging God to
help those who labor for the Church. The chapter ends with an
earnest plea.
TO RETURN TO THE MAIN REASON the Lord brought
us together in this house and why I have greatly desired
that we live so as to please His Majesty, I want to speak of help-
ing to remedy the great evils I have seen. Human forces are not
sufficient to stop the spread of this fire caused by these
heretics, even though people have tried to see if with the force
of arms they could remedy all the evil that is making such prog-
ress. It has seemed to me that what is necessary is a different
approach, the approach of a lord when in time of war his land
48
St. Teresa of Avila
is overrun with enemies and he finds himself restricted on all
sides. He withdraws to a city that he has well fortified and from
there sometimes strikes his foe. Those who are in the city, being
chosen people, are such that they can do more by themselves
than many cowardly soldiers can. And often victory is won in
this way. At least, even though victory is not won, these chosen
people are not conquered. For since they have no traitor, they
cannot be conquered — unless through starvation. In this ex-
ample the starvation cannot be such as to force them to sur-
render—to die, yes; but not to surrender.
2. But why have I said this? So that you understand, my
Sisters, that what we must ask God is that in this little castle
where there are already good Christians not one of us will go
over to the enemy and that God will make the captains of this
castle or city, who are the preachers and theologians, very ad-
vanced in the way of the Lord. Since most of them belong to
religious orders, ask God that they advance very far in the
perfection of religious life and their vocation; this is most
necessary. For as I have said, it is the ecclesiastical, not the
secular, arm that will save us. Since in neither the ecclesiastical
nor the secular arm can we be of any help to our King, let us
strive to be the kind of persons whose prayers can be useful in
helping those servants of God who through much toil have
strengthened themselves with learning and a good life and have
labored so as now to help the Lord.
3. You may perhaps ask why I am stressing this so much,
and saying that we must help those who are better than we
ourselves are. I will tell you why: it is because I don't think that
as yet you understand well how much you owe the Lord for
bringing you here where you are so removed from business af-
fairs, occasions of sin, and worldly occupations. Indeed, it is a
very great mercy. As for those persons I mentioned, who are
not free in this way, it is good that they are not free; more so in
these times than in the past. They are the persons who must
strengthen people who are weak, and encourage the little ones.
A fine state things would be in — soldiers without captains!
These persons must live among men, deal with men, live in
palaces, and even sometimes outwardly behave as such men
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 3
49
do. Do you think, my daughters, that little is required for them
to deal with the world, live in the world, engage in its business,
and, as I said, resemble it in its conversation, while interiorly
remaining its strangers, its enemies; in sum, not being men but
angels? For if they do not live in this way, they do not deserve to
be called captains; nor may the Lord allow them to leave their
cells, for they will do more harm than good. This is not the
time for seeing imperfections in those who must teach.
4. And if they are not interiorly fortified through an under-
standing of the importance of trampling everything underfoot,
of detachment from things that come to an end, and of attach-
ment to eternal things, they will show some sign of this lack no
matter how much they try to conceal it. Is it not the world they
have to deal with? Have no fear that the world will forgive this
deficiency; nor is there any imperfection it fails to recognize. It
will overlook many good things and perhaps not even consider
them good; but have no fear that it will overlook any evil or im-
perfect things. Now I wonder who it is that teaches people in
the world about perfection, not so much that these people
might seek perfection (for it doesn't seem to them they have
any obligation to do this, but they think they are doing enough
if they keep the commandments reasonably well), but that they
might condemn others. And at times what is virtuous seems to
them luxury. So, then, do not think that little help from God is
necessary for this great battle these preachers and theologians
are fighting; a very great deal is necessary.
5. I beg you to strive to be such that we might merit from
God two things: First, that among the numerous learned men
and religious there be many who will meet these requirements I
mentioned that are necessary for this battle, and that the Lord
may prepare those who do not meet them; one who is perfect
will do much more than many who are not. Second, that after
being placed in this combat, which, as I say, is not easy, they
may receive protection from the Lord so as to remain free of
the many perils there are in the world, and stop their ears in
order not to hear the siren's song on this dangerous sea. If we
can obtain some answers from God to these requests, we shall
be fighting for Him even though we are very cloistered. And if
50
St. Teresa of Avila
some of our requests are answered, I would consider well
worthwhile the trials I have suffered in order to found this little
corner, where I have also sought that this rule of our Lady and
Empress be observed with the perfection with which it was
observed when initiated.
6. Do not think it is useless to have these petitions1 con-
tinually in your heart, for with some persons it seems a difficult
thing for them not to be praying a great deal for their own
soul. But what better prayer is there than these petitions I
mentioned? If you are uneasy because you think your sufferings
in purgatory will not be shortened, know that by this prayer
they will be; and if you must still pay some debts, so be it.
What would it matter were I to remain in purgatory until judg-
ment day if through my prayer I could save even one soul? How
much less would it matter if my prayer is to the advantage of
many and for the honor of the Lord. Pay no attention to suffer-
ings that come to an end if through them some greater service
is rendered to Him who endured so many for us. Always try to
be informed about what is more perfect [for as I will ask you
later, and will give my reasons, you must always communicate
with learned men].
So, then, I beg you for the love of the Lord to ask His Majes-
ty to hear us in this matter. Miserable though I am, I ask His
Majesty this since it is for His glory and the good of the Church;
this glory and good is the object of my desires.
7. It seems bold that I think I could play some role in ob-
taining an answer to these petitions. I trust, my Lord, in these
Your servants who live here, and I know they desire and strive
for nothing else than to please You. For You they renounced
the little they had - and would have wanted to have more so as
to serve You with it. Since You, my Creator, are not
ungrateful, I think You will not fail to do what they beg of
You. Nor did You, Lord, when You walked in the world,
despise women; rather, You always, with great compassion,
helped them. [And You found as much love and more faith in
them than You did in men. Among them was Your most bless-
ed Mother, and through her merits — and because we wear her
habit we merit what, because of our offenses, we do not
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 3
51
deserve. Is it not enough, Lord, that the world has intimidated
us. . .so that we may not do anything worthwhile for You in
public or dare speak some truths that we lament over in secret,
without Your also failing to hear so just a petition? I do not
believe, Lord, that this could be true of Your goodness and
justice, for You are a just judge and not like those of the world.
Since the world's judges are sons of Adam and all of them men,
there is no virtue in women that they do not hold suspect. Yes,
indeed, the day will come, my King, when everyone will be
known for what he is. I do not speak for myself, because the
world already knows my wickedness — and I have rejoiced that
this wickedness is known publicly — but because I see that these
are times in which it would be wrong to undervalue virtuous
and strong souls, even though they are women.]2 When we ask
You for honors, income, money, or worldly things, do not hear
us. But when we ask You for the honor of Your Son, why
wouldn't You hear us, eternal Father, for the sake of Him who
lost a thousand honors and a thousand lives for You? Not for
us, Lord, for we don't deserve it, but for the blood of Your Son
and His merits.
8. O eternal Father, see to it that so many lashes and in-
juries and such heavy torments are not forgotten! How then,
my Creator, can a heart as loving as Yours allow that the deeds
done by Your Son with such ardent love and so as to make us
more pleasing to You (for You commanded that He love us) be
esteemed so little? For nowadays these heretics have so little
regard for the Blessed Sacrament that they take away its dwell-
ing places by destroying churches. Was something still to be
done to please You? But He did everything. Wasn't it enough,
eternal Father, that while He lived He did not have a place to
lay His head — 3 and always in the midst of so many trials? But
now they take away the places He has at present for inviting
His friends, for He realizes that we are weak and knows that the
laborers must be nourished with such food. Hasn't He already
paid far more than enough for the sin of Adam? Whenever we
sin again must this loving Lamb pay? Don't allow this, my
Emperor! Let Your Majesty be at once appeased! Do not look
at our sins but behold that Your most blessed Son redeemed us,
52
St. Teresa of Avila
and behold His merits and those of His glorious Mother and of
so many saints and martyrs who died for You!
9. Ay, what a pity, Lord, and who has dared to make this
petition on behalf of all of us? What a bad intermediary, my
daughters, is she who seeks to be heard and to make such a
petition for you! Indeed, this sovereign Judge should become
more indignant — and rightly and justly so — at seeing me so
bold! But behold, my Lord, that You are a God of mercy; have
mercy on this little sinner, this little worm that is so bold with
You. Behold, my God, my desires and the tears with which I
beg this of You; forget my deeds because of who You are; have
pity on so many souls that are being lost, and help Your
Church. Don't allow any more harm to come to Christianity,
Lord. Give light now to these darknesses.
10. I ask you, my Sisters, for the love of the Lord, to recom-
mend to His Majesty this poor little thing, and beg Him to give
her humility. Do this as something you are obliged to do. I am
not requesting you to pray in particular for kings and prelates
in the Church, especially our bishop.4 I see you now so careful
about doing so that it doesn't seem necessary for me to insist.
Let those who are to come realize that if the bishop is holy the
subjects will be so too; and as something very important always
ask this of the Lord in your prayers. And when your prayers,
desires, disciplines, and fasts are not directed toward obtaining
these things I mentioned, reflect on how you are not ac-
complishing or fulfilling the purpose for which the Lord
brought you here together. [And may the Lord because of who
His Majesty is never allow you to forget this.]
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 4
53
Chapter 4
Urges the observance of the rule and discusses three things that
are important for the spiritual life. Explains the first of these,
which is love of neighbor, and how particular friendships do
harm. 1
NOW, DAUGHTERS, you have seen the great task we have
undertaken [for the prelate and bishop who is your
superior and for the order, already included in what was men-
tioned, since all is for the good of the Church; and to pray for
the Church is an obligation]. What do you think we must be
like if we are not to be considered very bold by God and the
world? Clearly, we must work hard, and it helps a great deal to
have lofty thoughts so that we will exert ourselves and make our
deeds comply with our thoughts. For if we strive to observe our
rule and constitutions very carefully, I hope in the Lord that
our prayers will be heard. I am not beseeching you to do
something new, my daughters, but only that we observe what
we profess; to observe this is our vocation and obliga-
tion—although there are many degrees of observance.
2. Our primitive rule states that we must pray without ceas-
ing.2 If we do this with all the care possible — for unceasing
prayer is the most important aspect of the rule — the fasts, the
disciplines, and the silence the order commands will not be
wanting. For you already know that if prayer is to be genuine,
it must be helped by these other things; prayer and comfort-
able living are incompatible.
3. It is about prayer that you asked me to say something,
and I beg you that in recompense for what I am going to say
you eagerly do what I have said up until now, and read it often.
Before I say anything about interior matters, that is, about
prayer, I shall mention some things that are necessary for those
who seek to follow the way of prayer; so necessary that even if
these persons are not very contemplative, they can be far ad-
vanced in the service of the Lord if they possess these things.
And if they do not possess them, it is impossible for them to be
very contemplative. And if they think they are, they are being
54
St. Teresa of A vila
highly deceived. May the Lord help me speak of these things,
and may he teach me what I am about to say so that it may be
for his glory, amen.
4. Do not think, my friends and daughters, that I shall
burden you with many things; please God, we shall do what
our holy fathers established and observed, for by walking this
path they themselves established they merited this title we give
them. It would be wrong to seek another way or try to learn
about this path from anyone else. I shall enlarge on only three
things, which are from our own constitutions, for it is very im-
portant that we understand how much the practice of these
three things helps us to possess inwardly and outwardly the
peace our Lord recommended so highly to us. The first of these
is love for one another; the second is detachment from all
created things; the third is true humility, which, even though I
speak of it last, is the main practice and embraces all the
others.
5. About the first, love for one another, it is most important
that we have this, for there is nothing annoying that is not suf-
fered easily by those who love one another — a thing would have
to be extremely annoying before causing any displeasure. And
if this commandment were observed in the world as it should
be, I think such love would be very helpful for the observance
of the other commandments. But, because of either excess or
defect, we never reach the point of observing this command-
ment perfectly.
It may seem that having excessive love among ourselves
could not be evil, but such excess carries with it so much evil
and so many imperfections that I don't think anyone will
believe this save the one who has been an eyewitness. The devil
lays many snares here, for this excess is hardly noticed by per-
sons having consciences that deal only roughly with pleasing
God, and the excess even seems to them virtuous; but those
who are interested in perfection have a deep understanding of
this excessive love, because little by little it takes away the
strength of will to be totally occupied in loving God.
6. I believe this excessive love must be found among women
even more than among men; and the harm it does in the com-
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 4
55
munity is well known. It gives rise to the following: failing to
love equally all the others; feeling sorry about any affront to
the friend; desiring possessions so as to give her gifts; looking
for time to speak with her, and often so as to tell her that you
hold her dear and other trifling things rather than about your
love for God. For these great friendships are seldom directed
toward helping one love God more. On the contrary, I think
the devil gets them started so as to promote factions in religious
orders. For when love is in the service of His Majesty, the will
does not proceed with passion but proceeds by seeking help to
conquer other passions.
7. I should like that there be many of these friendships
where there is a large community, but in this house where
there are no more than thirteen — nor must there be any
more3 — all must be friends, all must be loved, all must be held
dear, all must be helped. Watch out for these friendships, for
love of the Lord, however holy they may be; even among
brothers they can be poisonous. I see no benefit in them. And
if the friends are relatives, the situation is much worse — it's a
pestilence!4 And believe me, daughters, even though this kind
of talk seems extreme, great perfection and great peace lie in
keeping my advice; and many occasions are removed from
those who are not strong. But if the will should be inclined to
one more than to another (this cannot be helped, for it is
natural and we are often drawn to love the worst one if that
person is endowed with more natural graces), let us be careful
not to allow ourselves to be dominated by that affection. Let us
love the virtues and interior good, and always studiously avoid
paying attention to this exterior element.
8. Let us not condescend, oh daughters, to allow our wills to
be slaves to anyone, save to the One who bought it with His
blood.5 Be aware that, without understanding how, you will
find yourselves so attached that you will be unable to manage
the attachment. Oh, God help me, the silly things that come
from such attachment are too numerous to be counted. And
because these things are so minute that only the one who sees
such friendship will understand and believe what is said about
them, there's no reason to say any more here — except that such
56
St. Teresa of Avila
a friendship is bad when found in anyone; but when found in
the prioress it's a pestilence.
9. To break away from these friendships involving a par-
ticular fondness, great care is necessary at the outset of the
friendship. This breaking away should be done delicately and
lovingly rather than harshly. In providing a remedy it is impor-
tant that the friends avoid being together and speaking to each
other save at the designated hours. This would be in conformity
with the custom we now follow, which is that we are not to be
together but each one alone in her own cell, as the rule com-
mands.6 At St. Joseph's the nuns should be excused from having
a common workroom, for although having one is a laudable
custom, silence is better observed when each nun is by herself;
and to get used to solitude is a great help for prayer. Since
prayer must be the foundation of this house, it is necessary that
we strive to dedicate ourselves to what most helps us in prayer.
10. Returning to the subject of our loving one another, it
seems pointless to be recommending this love. For are there
persons who can be so like brutes that they will not love each
other even though they must always deal with and be in the
company of one another and have no dealings and no recrea-
tion with persons outside the house and believe that God loves
them and they Him, since for His sake they have left
everything? I say this especially since virtue always inspires
love, and I hope in His Majesty that those living in this house
will with the help of God always be virtuous. So, in my opinion,
I don't have to recommend this love a great deal.
11. What I would like to say a little about now is how this
love for one another must be practiced. I would like to speak
also of the nature of this virtuous love — which is the love I want
practiced here — and how we know if we have this love; for our
Lord recommended it so highly and so urgently to His
apostles.7 What I say will be in conformity with my dullness of
mind; and if in other books you find a detailed explanation
don't take anything from me, for perhaps I don't know what
I'm talking about.
12. Two kinds of love are what I'm dealing with: One kind is
spiritual, because it in no way seems to stir sensuality or affect
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 4
57
the tenderness of our nature so as to take away purity. The
other is spiritual mixed with our sensuality and weakness or
good love, for it seems to be licit, as is love for our relatives and
friends. I have already said something about it.8
13. I want to speak now about the love that is spiritual, that
which is not affected by any passion; where passion is present
the good order is thrown into complete disorder. And if we
deal with virtuous persons discreetly and moderately, especially
confessors, we will benefit. But if you should become aware
that the confessor is turning toward some vanity, be suspicious
about everything and in no way carry on conversations with
him even though they may seem to be good, but make your
confession briefly and bring it to a conclusion. And it would be
best to tell the prioress that your soul doesn't get on well with
him and change confessors. That would be the most proper
thing to do — if you can do it without hurting his reputation.
14. In similar cases and others as well, in which the devil
could ensnare one in many difficulties and in which one does
not know what counsel to take, the best thing to do is try to
speak with some learned person; when necessary there should
be the freedom to do this. Make your confession to him and do
what he tells you to do about the matter; for since one must
provide some remedy, one could fall into great error. How
many mistakes have been made in the world by doing things
without counsel, especially in matters that could be harmful to
someone! Failing to provide a remedy cannot be allowed; for
unless the devil is quickly cut short, the effect will not be
something of minor importance when he begins to interfere.
Thus what I have said about trying to speak with another con-
fessor is what is best to do, provided that there be an oppor-
tunity; and I hope in the Lord there will be.
15. Keep in mind that this is a very important point, for
such friendship is dangerous, harmful, and a hell for all the
Sisters. I say that you must not wait until you recognize that
serious evil is present, but you should in the beginning cut the
relationship short by every possible and knowable means. In
good conscience you can do so. But I hope in the Lord that He
will not permit that persons who must always be engaged in
58
St. Teresa of Avila
prayer will be able to love anyone who is not the Lord's great
servant. That they ought not is very certain — or else they have
neither the prayer nor the perfection that is in conformity with
our goal here. For if they see that a person doesn't understand
their language and doesn't love to speak of God, they will not
be able to love him, because he will not be like them. If he is
like them, since the opportunities for these servants of God to
engage in such friendship are so few, he will not want to
disturb them; or he will be a simpleton.
16. Now I have begun to speak about this matter because,
as I have said,9 the harm the devil can here cause is great, and
only very slowly is it recognized; thus perfection can be
gradually vitiated without one's knowing why. For if this con-
fessor wants to allow room for vanity, because he himself is
vain, he makes little of it even in others. May God, because of
who He is, deliver us from such things. A situation like this
would be enough to disturb all the nuns because their con-
sciences tell them the opposite of what their confessor does.
And if they are restricted to only one confessor, they don't
know what to do or how to be at peace. For the one who should
be calming them and providing a remedy is the one who is
causing the harm. There must be a lot of these kinds of afflic-
tion in some places. It makes me feel great pity, and so you
shouldn't be surprised if I have tried to explain this danger to
you.
Chapter 5
Continues on the subject of confessors. Speaks of the impor-
tance of their being learned.
MAY THE LORD, because of who He is, not allow anyone
in this house to undergo the trial that has been men-
tioned; that is, to find oneself in this affliction of body and
soul. Nor may He allow a situation in which if the prioress gets
along well with the confessor no one dares to speak either to
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 5
59
him about her or to her about him. The result of this state of
affairs will be the temptation to omit the confession of very
serious sins for fear of being disturbed. O God help me, what
harm the devil can cause here, and how dearly the nuns will
pay for this restriction and concern about honor! For while
they think that by dealing with no more than one confessor
they are doing something great for religious life and the
reputation of the monastery, the devil manages in this way to
catch souls, since he cannot in any other. If they ask to go to
another confessor, it immediately seems as if the peace and
harmony of religious life will be lost. Or if the desired confessor
is not from the same order, merely speaking with him, even
though he may be a saint [Jerome], is taken as an affront by the
others. [Praise God very much, daughters, for this freedom
that you have, since you are able here to speak to
others — though not too many others — besides your ordinary
confessors, and these will give you light about everything.]1
2. I ask, for the love of the Lord, that this holy freedom be
allowed by the one who is superior. May she always ask permis-
sion from the bishop or the provincial that, besides speaking
with the ordinary confessors, she and all the others might
sometimes speak and discuss their souls with learned persons,
especially if the confessors, however good, may not be
learned.2 Learning is a great help for shedding light upon
every matter. It will be possible to find both learning and
goodness in some persons. And the more the Lord favors you in
prayer, the more necessary it will be that your prayer and good
works have a good foundation.
3. You already know that the cornerstone must be a good
conscience and that with all your strength you must strive to
free yourselves even from venial sins and seek what is the most
perfect. It will seem to you that any confessor knows this, but
that is misleading. It happened to me that I spoke about mat-
ters of conscience with a confessor who had gone through the
whole course of theology, and he did me a great deal of harm
by telling me that some matters didn't amount to anything. I
know that he didn't intend to misinform me and had no reason
to, but he simply didn't know any more. And the same thing
60
St. Teresa of Avila
happened to me with two or three others, besides the one I
mentioned.3
4. Having true light at our disposal for the sake of keeping
the law of God with perfection is all our good; prayer is well
founded on such light. Without this strong foundation and if
the Sisters are not given freedom to confess and discuss their
souls with persons like those I have mentioned, the whole
building will be wobbly. [Thus they must speak to spiritual and
learned persons. If the appointed confessor is not spiritual and
learned, they should at times seek out others. And if, perhaps,
they receive orders not to confess to others, they can speak out-
side of confession to the kind of person I mentioned.] And I
dare say more, that even if the confessor has all the qualities I
mentioned, it is good sometimes to consult others because it is
still possible for him to be mistaken; and it is important that
not all be misled by him. One should seek always that there be
nothing contrary to obedience, for there are ways and means
for everything. And so it is good that in all possible ways one
seek such counsel that is so valuable to souls.
5. All this that I have said should be of concern to the
prioress. So I beg her again that, since no other consolation is
sought here than the soul's, she should seek the soul's consola-
tion by doing what I said. For there are different paths along
which God leads souls, and one confessor perhaps will not
know them all. I assure you there will not be lacking holy per-
sons who will want to speak to you about your souls and bring
you comfort — if your souls are what they should be — even
though you may be poor. He who sustains your bodies will
awaken someone and give him the desire to enlighten your
souls and bring a remedy to this evil that I fear. For even if the
devil tempts a confessor so as to deceive him about some doc-
trine, he will be careful and consider with caution everything
he does when he knows that you speak to others.
Once this entrance has been taken away from the devil, I
hope in God he will not find another one in this house. So I beg
the bishop, whoever he may be, for love of the Lord, to allow
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 6
61
the Sisters this freedom and not take it away from them when
the persons they consult possess learning and goodness, a fact
they can easily get to know in a city as small as this.4
6. I have seen and understood what I have mentioned here,
and discussed it with learned and holy persons who have con-
sidered what was most suitable for this house so that there
would be progress along the path of perfection. Among
dangers, which are always present as long as we live, we find
that this one is a lesser one. The vicar5 should never have a free
hand to come and go, nor should the confessor have this
freedom. Rather, they should be protecting the recollection
and decorum of the house and its progress, both interior and
exterior, and should tell the bishop when there is some fault;
but neither the vicar nor the confessor should be the superior.6
7. This is our practice at present — but not merely because
of my opinion. The bishop we now have, under whose obe-
dience we are (for many reasons obedience was not given to the
order),7 is a person fond of religious life and holiness and is a
great servant of God. (His name is Don Alvaro de Mendoza; he
is of high nobility and lineage and very fond of favoring this
house in every way.) He gathered persons of learning,
spirituality, and experience together in order to deal with this
point; and freedom was decided upon. It is only right that the
superiors who follow should hold to this opinion; it was decided
upon by such good persons and sought from God with many
prayers for enlightenment about the best thing to do. And
from what has been known up until the present, this practice
certainly is the best thing. May the Lord be pleased to preserve
it always since it is for His greater glory, amen.
Chapter 6
Returns to the subject already begun, that of perfect love.
I HAVE DIGRESSED ENOUGH, but what was said is so im-
portant that anyone who understands it will not blame me.
62
St . Teresa of A vila
Let us return now to the love that it is good for us to have, that
which I say is purely spiritual.1 I don't know if I know what I
am saying. At least I don't think it's necessary to speak much
about this love, because few have it. Let the one to whom the
Lord has given it praise Him very much because such a person
must have reached the highest perfection. Anyway, I want to
say a little about this love. Doing so will perhaps be of some
benefit; for when virtue is placed before our eyes, the one who
desires it grows fond of it and seeks to gain it.
2. May it please God that I understand this love; and even
more, that I know how to speak of it. For I don't think I know
which love is spiritual, or when sensual love is mixed with
spiritual love, nor do I know why I want to speak about this
spiritual love. My situation is like that of one who hears others
speaking in the distance but doesn't understand what they are
saying. So it is that sometimes I don't think I understand what
I'm saying, but the Lord wills that it be well said. If at other
times what I say is nonsense, that is what is most natural to
me — not being correct in anything.
3. Now it seems to me that those whom God brings to a cer-
tain clear knowledge love very differently than do those who
have not reached it. This clear knowledge is about the nature
of the world, that there is another world, about the difference
between the one and the other, that the one is eternal and the
other a dream; or about the nature of loving the Creator and
loving the creature (and this seen through experience, which is
entirely different from merely thinking about it or believing it);
or this knowledge comes from seeing and feeling what is gained
by the one love and lost by the other, and what the Creator is
and what the creature is, and from many other things that the
Lord teaches to anyone who wants to be taught by Him in
prayer, or whom His Majesty desires to teach.
4. It may be, Sisters, that you will think it useless for me to
speak of this love and that you will say everybody already knows
these things I have mentioned. May it please the Lord that this
be so, that you know them in such a way that they be impor-
tant to you and impressed deep within your being. For if
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 6
63
you have this knowledge, you will see that I do not lie in saying
that whoever the Lord brings to the state of perfection has this
love. The persons the Lord brings to this state are generous
souls, majestic souls. They are not content with loving
something as wretched as these bodies, however beautiful they
may be, however attractive. Yes, it pleases them to see such
bodies, and they praise the Creator; but, no, they do not stop
there. I mean stop in such a way that they love these things. It
would seem to them that they were loving something of no
substance, loving a shadow. They would feel chagrin, and they
wouldn't have the courage, without great shame, to tell God
they love Him.
5. You will tell me that such perfect persons do not know
how to love or repay the love others have for them — at least,
they care little about being loved. At times nature suddenly re-
joices at being loved, but then when these persons return to
themselves they see that this is foolish, unless the souls of the
others will benefit either by doctrine or by prayer. All other af-
fection wearies these persons, for they understand that no
benefit comes from it and that it could be harmful. But this
does not make these persons ungrateful or unwilling to repay
the love of others by recommending them to God. They entrust
to the Lord the care of those who love them, for they under-
stand that the love comes from Him. It doesn't seem there is
anything within themselves to love, and they immediately think
they are loved because these others love God. They leave it to
His Majesty to repay those who love them, and they beg Him to
do so. In this way they remain free, for it seems to them that
repaying the love is not their business. And, in fact, I think at
times that if love does not come from those persons who can
help us gain the blessings of the perfect, there would be great
blindness in this desire to be loved.
6. Now, note well that when we desire love from some per-
son, there is always a kind of seeking our own benefit or
satisfaction, and these perfect persons have already trampled
underfoot all the good things and comforts the world has to of-
fer them. Their consolations are of a kind that even though
they may desire them, so to speak, they cannot tolerate having
64
St. Teresa of Avila
them apart from God or from speaking of Him. For what
benefit can come to them from being loved?
7. Since this truth is made known to them, they laugh at
themselves because of the affliction they once suffered as to
whether or not their love was repaid. Although our affection is
good, the desire that it be repaid is very natural. But once we
receive the payment, we realize that the pay is all straw; it s all
air and without substance so that the wind carries it away. No
matter how much we have been loved, what is there that re-
mains for us? As a result, you shouldn't care whether you are
loved or not, unless the love is for your spiritual benefit as in
the case of those perfect souls I mentioned, for they realize that
our nature is such that if we are not loved we soon grow weary.
It will seem to you that such persons do not love or know
anyone but God. I say, yes they do love, with a much greater
and more genuine love, and with passion, and with a more
beneficial love; in short, it is love. And these souls are more in-
clined to give than to receive. Even with respect to the Creator
Himself they want to give more than to receive. I say that this
attitude is what merits the name "love," for these other base at-
tachments have usurped the name "love."
8. You will also wonder what they have affection for if they
do not love because of the things they see. It is true that what
they see they love and what they hear they become attached to;
but the things that they see are stable. As soon as these persons
love, they go beyond the bodies and turn their eyes to the soul
and look to see if there is something to love in the soul. And if
there isn't anything lovable, but they see some beginning and
readiness so that if they love this soul and dig in this mine they
will find gold, their labor causes them no pain. Nothing could
be presented to them that they wouldn't eagerly do for the
good of this soul, for they desire to continue loving it; but they
know that if it does not love God very much and have His bless-
ings, their loving it is impossible. And I say that this is impossi-
ble, no matter how much they are obligated to it; and even if it
dies with love for them and does all the good works it can for
them and possesses all natural graces combined, their wills will
not have the strength to love it or make this love last. These
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 7
65
persons with perfect love already have experience and know
what everything is; they will not be deceived. They see that
they are not at one with the other and that it is impossible for
the two to continue loving each other. For it is a love that must
end when they die if the other is not keeping the law of God,
and these persons understand that the other does not love God
and that the two must then go to their different destinies.
9. And one of these persons to whom the Lord has given
true wisdom cannot esteem this love, which lasts only here on
earth, for more than what it is worth, or even for less. Those
who like to find their pleasure in the things of the world, in its
delights, honors, and riches will attribute some value to
whether the other is rich or has the means to provide for diver-
sion and recreation. But whoever has already come to abhor all
of this cares little or nothing about such things.
Well now in the case of perfect love, if a person loves there is
the passion to make the other soul worthy of being loved, for,
as I say, this person knows that otherwise he will not continue
to love the other. It is a love that costs dearly. This person does
everything he can for the other's benefit; he would lose a thou-
sand lives that a little good might come to the other soul. O
precious love that imitates the Commander-in-chief of love,
Jesus, our Good!
Chapter 7
Treats of the same subject, spiritual love, and gives some ad-
vice on how to obtain it.
ITS STRANGE HOW IMPASSIONED THIS LOVE IS, the
tears it costs, the penances and prayer; what concern to ask
prayers for the one loved from all who it thinks can help that
person toward God; what constant desire that others recom-
mend him to God. It is not happy unless it sees that person
make progress. If, on the other hand, it sees him improving
and then sees him turning back somewhat, there doesn't seem
to be any pleasure for it in life. It neither eats nor sleeps
66
St. Teresa of Avila
without this care about the other. It is always fearful lest the
soul it loves so much be lost and the two be separated forever.
Death here below matters nothing to it, for it doesn't want to
become attached to anything that in a mere moment escapes
from one's hand and cannot be grasped again. It is, as I said,1
a love with no self-interest at all. All that it desires or wants is
to see the other soul rich with heavenly blessings.
2. This is what love is, and not these other miserable earthly
affections — although I don't mean evil ones, for God deliver us
from them. We must never tire of condemning anything that
leads to hell, for the slightest evil of hell cannot be exag-
gerated. We shouldn't let our mouths utter even a word about
this sinful love, Sisters, nor should we think that it exists in the
world. We shouldn't listen to anything said about it, whether
this be done in jest or in truth. Do not allow that this type of
love be spoken of or discussed in your presence. Such love has
nothing good in it, and even hearing about it can be harmful.
You may speak about the licit love I mentioned, which we have
for one another or for relatives and friends and in which our
care is that our loved ones don't die; or, if the other's head
aches our souls seem to ache too, and if they suffer trials, it
seems that we lose our patience; and other things like that.
3. Spiritual love is not like this. Even though some grief is at
first felt through natural weakness, reason immediately con-
siders whether the trial is good for the one loved, whether there
is an enrichment in virtue and how that soul bears the suffer-
ing; it asks God to give the other patience and merit in the
trials. If this love sees that the other person has patience, no
distress is felt; rather it rejoices and is consoled. This love
would much rather suffer the trial itself than see the other suf-
fer it if the merit and gain that lies in suffering could be given
to the other entirely — but not because this love is disquieted
and disturbed.
4. I say once again2 that spiritual love seems to be imitating
that love which the good lover Jesus had for us. Hence, these
lovers advance so far because they embrace all trials, and the
others, without trial, receive benefit from those who love. And
The Way of Perfection Chap. 7
67
believe me, either these lovers will cut off their relationship — I
mean special friendship — or they will obtain from our Lord
that the one loved walk along their own way toward the same
goal, as did St. Monica with St. Augustine. These lovers cannot
in their hearts be insincere with those they love; if they see
them deviate from the path or commit some faults they im-
mediately tell them about it. They cannot help but do so. And
since they are not going to change their attitude, nor are they
going to flatter or hide anything from the other, either that
other person mends his ways or the friendship is broken. For
these lovers cannot suffer such a thing, nor should it be suf-
fered. There is a continual war between the two attitudes these
lovers have; on the one hand they go about forgetful of the
whole world, taking no account of whether others serve God or
not but only keeping account of themselves; on the other hand,
with their friends, they have no power to do this, nor is
anything covered over; they see the tiniest speck. I say that they
bear a truly heavy cross. [Oh fortunate are the souls loved by
such as these! Fortunate was the day they came to know them!
O my Lord, would you not be doing me a favor if there were
many who so loved me? Certainly, it would be more beneficial
to me than if I were loved by all the kings and lords of the
world; and rightly so, for these persons strive in as many ways
as they can that we ourselves be lords of that very world and
that all things be subject to us.
When you know some person like this, Sisters, let the Mother
prioress diligently strive that he speak with you. Love such per-
sons as much as you like. They must be few, but the Lord does
desire that it be known when someone has reached perfection.
You will be immediately told that speaking with him is un-
necessary, that it is enough to have God. But a good means to
having God is to speak with His friends, for one always gains
very much from this. I know through experience. After the
Lord, it is because of persons like these that I am not in hell,
for I was always very attached to their praying for me, and so I
strove to get them to do this. Now let us return to our subject.]
5. This spiritual love is the kind of love I would desire us to
have. Even though in the beginning it is not so perfect, the
68
St. Teresa of Avila
Lord will gradually perfect it. Let us begin by using the
suitable means, for even though the love bears with it some
natural tenderness no harm will be done provided this
tenderness is shown toward all. It is good and necessary
sometimes in loving to show and also have affection, and to feel
some of the trials and sicknesses of the Sisters, even though
these may be small. For at times it happens that some trifle will
cause as much suffering to one as a great trial will to another;
little things can bring much distress to persons who have sen-
sitive natures. [And do not be surprised, for perhaps the devil
employed all his energy here, more energy than what he uses
when you feel great sufferings and trials.] If you are not like
them, do not fail to be compassionate. And perhaps our Lord
desires to exempt us from these sufferings, whereas in other
matters we will suffer. And those sufferings that for us are
heavy — even if in themselves they truly are — may be light for
another. So in these matters let us not judge from ourselves,
nor let us think that we are at a stage in which perhaps the
Lord without our own effort has made us stronger, but let us
think of the stage we were at when we were weaker.
6. Consider that this advice is important for knowing how to
sympathize with your neighbor in his trials, however small they
may be. This is especially true in the case of those souls that
were mentioned.3 Since they desire trials they make little of
everything, and it is very necessary that they take the time to
remember how they themselves were once weak and that if they
are not weak now, their strength doesn't come from
themselves. For it could be that the devil by this means will
make charity toward one's neighbor grow cold, and make us
think that what in reality is a fault belongs to perfection. It is
necessary to be careful and awake in everything, for he does
not sleep. This is truer in the case of those advancing in perfec-
tion. The temptations are then very deceiving, since the devil
wouldn't dare anything else. It doesn't seem the harm is
recognized until it is already done— if, as I say, one doesn't
take care. In sum, it is necessary to watch and pray always, for
there is no better remedy than prayer for discovering these
secret things of the devil and bringing them to light.
The Way of Perfection Chap. 7
69
7. Strive also to take time for recreation with the Sisters
when there is need and during the time set aside for it by
custom, even though this may not be to your pleasure, for
everything done with a pure intention is perfect love. [And so it
is that when I desire to speak of that other love that is not so
perfect, I do not find in this house any path in which I think it
would be good for us to have such love. For however good this
love might be, everything must hark back to its origin, which is
the perfect love I spoke of. I thought of saying much about this
other love, and now that I've come to discuss its fine points, I
don't think it fits our way of life. So, I want to leave the matter
as it stands; I hope in God that in this house there will be no
opportunity for any other kind of love than perfect love, even
though our love may not be entirely perfect.] Thus, it is very
good that some take pity on others in their need. Let them take
care that there be no lack of discretion in things that would go
against obedience. Even though within yourself the prioress'
commands may seem harsh, don't show this or let anyone know
about it — unless, with humility, the prioress herself for you
would cause much harm. And learn how to understand which
are the things one ought to feel sorry about and take pity on
with regard to the Sisters. And always grieve over any fault, if it
is publicly known, that you see in a Sister. Here love shows
itself, and it is practiced well when you know how to suffer the
fault and not be surprised; so the others will do with respect to
your faults, for you may have many more than you are aware
of. Recommend the Sister to God and strive yourself to practice
with great perfection the virtue opposite the fault that appears
in her. Make every effort to do this so that you teach that Sister
in deed what perhaps through words or punishment she might
not understand or profit by; and the imitation of the virtue in
which one sees another excel has a great tendency to spread.
This is good advice; don't forget it.
8. Oh, how good and true will be the love of the Sister who
can help others by setting aside her own advantage for their
sake. She will make much progress in all the virtues and keep
her rule with great perfection. Better friendship will this be
than all the tender words that can be uttered, for these are not
70
St. Teresa of Avila
used, nor should they be used, in this house; those like, "my
life," "my soul," "my only good," and other similar expressions
addressed now to one, now to another, of the Sisters. Keep
these words of affection for your Spouse, for you must be with
Him so much and so alone that you will need to be
helped by everything; His Majesty allows us to use these words
with Him. But if they are used a lot among ourselves, they will
not be so touching when used with the Lord. And besides,
there's no reason for using them. They are very womanish, and
I would not want you, my daughters, to be womanish in
anything, nor would I want you to be like women but like
strong men. For if you do what lies in your power, the Lord will
make you so strong that you will astonish men. And how easy
this is for His Majesty since He made us from nothing.
9. Another very good proof of love is that you strive in
household duties to relieve others of work, and also rejoice and
praise the Lord very much for any increase you see in their vir-
tues. All these things, not to mention the great good they con-
tain in themselves, help very much to further peace and con-
formity between the Sisters, as we now, by God's goodness, see
through experience. May it please His Majesty that this love
always continue. The contrary would be a terrible thing, and
very difficult to endure: that is, few in number and disunited.
God forbid.4
10. If by chance some little word should escape, try to
remedy the matter immediately and pray intensely. And if
things of this sort against charity continue, such as little fac-
tions, or ambition, or concern about some little point of honor
(for I think my blood freezes when I write about this and think
that at some time it could happen, because I see it is the main
evil in monasteries); when these things begin to take place con-
sider yourselves lost. Think and believe that you have thrown
your Spouse out of the house and have made it necessary for
Him to go in search of another dwelling, since you threw Him
out of His own house. Cry out to His Majesty. Seek a remedy;
for if you don't find one after such frequent confession and
Communion, there is reason to fear a Judas among you.
1 1 . Let the prioress for the love of God watch carefully that
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 8
71
no place be given to such concerns, and root them out from the
beginning; from whether she does this or not will stem either
all the harm or all the remedy. [And if love doesn't suffice to do
this, let it be done with severe punishments.] And anyone
found to be the cause of such disturbance should be sent to
another monastery, for God will provide her with the dowry.
Get rid of this pestilence; cut off the branches as best you can,
and if this is not enough pull up the roots. And if that doesn't
work, do not let the one who is taken up with these things leave
the prison cell. That's much better than letting so incurable a
pestilence infect all the nuns. Oh, how great an evil it is! God
deliver us from the monastery where it enters; I would rather
that the monastery catch fire and all be burned. Because
I believe I shall say something about this elsewhere — since
it is something so important — I'll not enlarge on it any more
here.5
Chapter 8
The great good that lies in detaching oneself inwardly and out-
wardly from all created things.
NOW LET US TALK ABOUT the detachment we ought to
have, for detachment, if it is practiced with perfection,
includes everything. I say it includes everything because if we
embrace the Creator and care not at all for the whole of crea-
tion, His Majesty will infuse the virtues. Doing little by little
what we can, we will have hardly anything else to fight against;
it is the Lord who in our defense takes up the battle against the
demons and against the world.
Do you think, Sisters, it is a small blessing we receive in ob-
taining this grace to give ourselves to the All entirely and
without reserve? And since in Him are all blessings, as I say, let
us praise Him very much, Sisters, for having brought us
together here where the only concern is to give ourselves entire-
ly to Him. Indeed, I don't know why I am saying this because
72
St. Teresa of Avila
every one of you here can teach me. I confess that in this mat-
ter so important I am not as perfect as I desire or understand to
be fitting. And this goes for all the virtues and all that I say
here, for it is much easier to write about these things than to
put them into practice. And I don't even succeed in writing
about them, because sometimes knowing how to speak of them
requires experience; and if I do succeed, it is perhaps by
writing of the opposite of what I have practiced.
2. With regard to externals, obviously we are separated here
from everything. [I think the Lord wants all of us He has
gathered together in this house to withdraw from everything so
that His Majesty may unite us to Himself here without any hin-
drance. O my Creator and Lord! When did I merit such honor?
For it seems you went a roundabout way to bring us closer to
Yourself. May it please Your goodness that we do not lose
through our own fault this nearness to You.] O Sisters, under-
stand, for the love of God, the great favor the Lord has granted
those whom he brought here. Each of you should reflect upon
this carefully, for there are only twelve here and His Majesty
desired that you be one of them.1 And how many there are who
are better than I, who I know would take this place eagerly,
and the Lord gave it to me who so poorly deserved it! May You
be blessed, my God, and may all creatures praise You! One
cannot repay You for this favor — as is likewise so for many
others You have granted me — for my vocation to be a nun was
a very great favor! Since I have been so miserable, You did not
trust me, Lord. Instead of keeping me where there were so
many living together and where my wretchedness would not
have been so clearly seen during my lifetime, You have brought
me to a place where, since there are so few nuns, it seems im-
possible for this wretchedness not to be known. That I might
walk more carefully, You have removed from me all oppor-
tunities to conceal it. Now I confess there is no longer an excuse
for me, Lord, and so I have greater need of Your mercy that
You might pardon any fault I may have.2
3. What I ask of you, Sisters, is that if anyone sees within
herself that she is unable to follow what is customarily prac-
ticed here she say so; there are other monasteries where the
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 9
73
Lord is also served. Do not disturb these few nuns brought here
together by His Majesty. In other places there is the freedom to
find relief by being with relatives; here if some relatives are
allowed to visit, it is that they might find relief by being with
us. But the nun who desires to see them for her own consola-
tion, if these relatives are not spiritual persons, should consider
herself imperfect. She ought to believe that she is not de-
tached, not healthy; she will not possess freedom of spirit; she
will not possess complete peace. She needs a doctor; and I say
that if this attachment is not removed and she is not cured, she
is not meant for this house.
4. The best remedy I know is that she not see them until ob-
viously she is free and obtains this freedom from the Lord
through much prayer. When it is clear that she considers these
visits a cross, it will be all right for her to see them, for then she
will be of benefit to her relatives and not be harmed herself.
[But if she loves her relatives, if she grieves a great deal over
their sufferings and eagerly listens to what they tell her about
their business affairs in the world, she should believe that she
will bring harm to herself and no good to them.]
Chapter 9
On how good it is for those who have left the world to flee from
relatives and how they find truer friends.
OH, IF WE RELIGIOUS COULD understand the great
harm that comes from having too much to do with rela-
tives! How we would flee them! I don't know what consolation
they give us (if in talking with them we leave out what pertains
to God and deal only with what pertains to our comfort and
rest), for we cannot enjoy their recreations, nor would this
be lawful for us. Oh yes, we can grieve over their trials; in fact,
we do cry over all their tribulations and sometimes more than
they themselves do. Surely, if they give the body some comfort,
the spirit pays well for it. You are removed from this here.
74
St. Teresa of A vtla
Since everything is held in common and no one can have any
special comfort, the alms they give you are given in a general
way; and you are freed from trying to please them on this ac-
count, for you know that it is the Lord who provides for all in
common.
2. I am astonished by the harm that is caused from dealing
with relatives. I don't think anyone will believe it except the
one who has experienced it for himself. And how this practice
of perfection seems to be forgotten nowadays in religious
orders. I don't know what it is in the world that we renounce
when we say that we give up everything for God if we do not
give up the main thing, namely, our relatives. The situation
has reached the state in which it seems to be a lack of virtue for
religious not to love and talk a great deal with their relatives,
and these religious are not afraid to say and even advance their
reasons.
3. In this house, daughters, great care should be taken to
recommend them to God; that is right. As for the rest, we
should keep them out of our minds as much as possible,
because it is a natural thing for the will to become attached to
them more than to other persons.
I have been much loved by my relatives — according to what
they have said — and I loved them so much that I didn't let
them forget me. But I know through my own experience as well
as that of others that in time of trial my relatives helped me
least. It was the servants of God who helped me. By relatives I
do not mean parents, for parents very seldom fail to help their
children, and it is right for us to console them in their need.
Let us not remain aloof from them if we see that com-
municating with them does no harm to our religious life. This
communication can be carried on with detachment; and so,
too, with brothers and sisters.
4. Believe, Sisters, that if you serve His Majesty as you
ought, you will not find better relatives than those He sends
you. I know that this is so. Convinced of that, as you are here,
and understanding that in doing otherwise you would be fail-
ing your true Friend and Spouse, believe that in a very short
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 9
75
time you will gain this freedom. Believe that you can trust
those who love you only for His sake more than you can all your
relatives, and that these former will not fail you. And you will
find fathers and brothers in those about whom you had not
even thought. For since these seek to be repaid by God, they do
things for us. Those who seek to be repaid by us soon grow
tired, since they see that we are poor and unable to help them
in any way. And although this may not be universally so, it is
now more usually so; for, after all, the world is the world.
Do not believe whoever tells you to do something else and
that it is virtue to do so. For if I should mention all the harm
that this association with relatives brings in its wake, I would
have to enlarge a great deal. And because others who know
what they are saying better than I do have written about this,
what I have said should suffice. If I who am so imperfect have
understood so much about this, I wonder what those who are
perfect know?
5. All that the saints counsel us about fleeing the world is
clearly good. Well, believe me, our relatives are what clings to
us most from the world, as I have said,1 and the most difficult
to detach ourselves from. Consequently, those who flee from
their own countries do well — if it helps them, I say, for I don't
think it helps to flee bodily; rather what helps is that the soul
embrace the good Jesus our Lord with determination, for since
in Him everything is found, in Him everything is forgotten.
Yet, it is a very great help to withdraw even bodily until we
have come to know this truth. For afterward it may be that the
Lord will want us to have dealings with them, giving us a cross
where we used to find pleasure.
76
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 10
How it is not enough to be detached from what was mentioned
if we are not detached from ourselves, and how both this virtue
of detachment and humility go together.
ONCE WE HAVE DETACHED ourselves from the world
and from relatives and have enclosed ourselves here
under the conditions that were mentioned, it seems that we
have done all there is to do and that we don't have to struggle
with anything. Oh, my Sisters, do not feel secure or let
yourselves go to sleep! By feeling secure you would resemble
someone who very tranquilly lies down after having locked his
doors for fear of thieves while allowing the thieves to remain in-
side the house. And you already know that there is no worse
thief than we ourselves. For if you do not walk very carefully
and if each Sister is not alert in going against her own will as
though doing so were more important than all else, there are
many things that will take away this holy freedom of spirit by
which you can fly to your Maker without being held down by
clay or leaden feet.
2. A great aid to going against your will is to bear in mind
continually how all is vanity and how quickly everything comes
to an end. This helps to remove our attachment to trivia and
center it on what will never end. Even though this practice
seems to be a weak means, it will strengthen the soul greatly,
and the soul will be most careful in very little things. When we
begin to become attached to something, we should strive to
turn our thoughts from it and bring them back to God — and
His Majesty helps. He has done us a great favor because in this
house most of the work of detachment has been done —
although this turning and being against ourselves is a difficult
thing because we live very close together and love ourselves
greatly.
3. Here true humility can enter the picture because this vir-
tue and the virtue of detachment it seems to me always go
together. They are two inseparable sisters. These are not the
relatives I advise you to withdraw from; rather, you should em-
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 10
77
brace them and love them and never be seen without them. O
sovereign virtues, rulers over all creation, emperors of the
world, deliverers from all snares and entanglements laid by the
devil, virtues so loved by our teacher Christ who never for a
moment was seen without them! Whoever has them can easily
go out and fight with all hell together and against the whole
world and all its occasions of sin. Such a person has no fear of
anyone, for his is the kingdom of heaven. He has no one to fear
because he doesn't care if he loses everything, nor would he
consider this a loss. The only thing he fears is displeasing his
God, and he begs God to sustain him in these virtues lest they
be lost through his own fault.
4. It is true that these virtues have the characteristic of so
hiding themselves from the person who possesses them that he
never sees them or manages to believe that he has them even
though he is told he does. But he esteems them so highly that
he always goes about striving to obtain them, and he gradually
perfects them within himself. Yet, they are so manifest in the
one who possesses them that without his desiring it, these vir-
tues are at once recognized by others who deal with him.
But what foolishness that I should set about praising humili-
ty and mortification when they were so much praised by the
King of Glory and so confirmed by His many trials. Now, my
daughters, this is the work that must be done in order to escape
from the land of Egypt, for in finding these virtues you will find
the manna.1 All things will taste good to you. However bad a
thing may taste to those who are in the world, you will find it
sweet.
5. Now, then, the first thing we must strive for is to rid
ourselves of our love for our bodies, for some of us are by
nature such lovers of comfort that there is no small amount of
work in this area. And we are so fond of our health that it is
amazing what a war our bodies cause, especially with nuns and
even with those who are not. But some nuns it seems, including
myself, didn't come to the monastery for any other reason than
to strive not to die; each one strives for this as best she can.
Here, truthfully, there is little opportunity to do this in deed,
but I wouldn't want there to be even the desire. Be deter-
78
St. Teresa of Avila
mined, Sisters, that you came to die for Christ, not to live com-
fortably for Christ. The devil suggests that you indulge
yourselves so that you can keep the observance of the order;
and a nun will so eagerly want to strive to care for and preserve
her health for the sake of keeping the observance of the order
that she dies without ever having kept this observance entirely
for so much as a month, nor perhaps for even a day. Well, I
don't know why we have come here!
6. Do not fear; very seldom will we lack discretion in this
matter, for our confessors will at once be afraid that we may
kill ourselves with penances. And the lack of such discretion is
so abhorred by us that I wish we'd be so discreet in everything.
I know that those who do the opposite will not care that I say
this, nor do I care if they say I am judging from myself, for they
would be saying the truth. I find for myself that the Lord
wishes that we be sickly; at least in my case He granted me a
great mercy in my being sick; for since I would have looked
after my comfort anyway, He desired that there be a reason for
my doing so.
Now it is amusing to see these persons and the torment they
put themselves through. Sometimes they feel a desire to do
penances without rhyme or reason, a desire that lasts a couple
of days, so to speak; subsequently the devil makes them
imagine that the penances did them harm. He makes them
fear penance, and after some attempts they don't even dare
carry out what the order commands.2 We don't keep some of
the very ordinary things of the rule, such as silence, which isn't
going to do us any harm. Hardly does our head begin to ache
than we stop going to choir, which won't kill us either. [We stay
away one day because our head ached, another because it was
just now aching, and three more so that it won't ache again.]
And we seek to invent penances in our heads with the result
that we can neither do the penances nor keep the observance.
And at times the illness is slight, but we think we aren't obliged
to do anything since we have done our duty by asking
permission.
7. You will ask why the prioress gives it. If she knew what
was going on inside us, perhaps she wouldn't give it. But since
The Way of Perfection Chap. 11
79
you tell her about your need and there is no want of a doctor to
side with you about the advisability of such permission, or a
friend or relative to weep at your side, what can she do? She has
a scruple that she might fail in charity. She would rather that
you fail than that she herself fail. [And it doesn't seem to her
right to judge badly of you. Oh, God help me, this complain-
ing among nuns! May He forgive me, but I fear it has already
become a custom. Once there was a nun who complained to
me about a headache, and she complained a great deal about
it. When it came time to examine her, the head didn't ache at
all, but she felt an ache somewhere else.]
8. These are the things that can happen sometimes; that
you might be on guard against them, I am putting them down
here. For if the devil begins to frighten us about losing our
health, we shall never do anything. May the Lord give us the
light to be right about everything, amen.
Chapter 11
Continues to discuss mortification, and speaks about what
must be acquired in sickness.
IT SEEMS TO ME AN IMPERFECTION, my Sisters, to be
always complaining about light illnesses. If you can tolerate
them, don't complain about them. When the sickness is
serious, it does the complaining itself; this is different and the
sickness is immediately obvious. Consider that you are few, and
if one has this habit of complaining, it wears everyone out if
you have love for one another and there is charity. If someone
is truly sick, she should say so and take the necessary remedy. If
you have lost self-love, you will feel any self-indulgence so keen-
ly that there is no fear you will take anything without necessity
or complain needlessly. If there is some need, it would be worse
not to say anything than to seek your comfort without being
sick, and it would be very wrong if the others did not feel com-
passion for you.
2. Moreover, where there's charity, and so few nuns, con-
80
St. Teresa of A vila
cern about your getting well will surely never be lacking. But
with regard to some of the weaknesses and little illnesses of
women, forget about complaining of them, for sometimes the
devil makes us imagine these pains. They are things that come
and go. If you do not lose the habit of speaking and complain-
ing about everything — unless you do so to God — you will never
finish your lamenting. [I insist so much on this because I think
it's very important and a reason why monasteries have
mitigated their observance.] A fault this body has is that the
more comfort we try to give it the more needs it discovers. It's
amazing how much comfort it wants; and since in the case of
health the need presents itself under the color of some good,
however small it may be, the poor soul is deceived and doesn't
grow.
3. Remember how many sick people there are who are poor
and have no one to complain to; now it is nonsense to think one
can be poor and live in comfort. Recall as well many women
who are married. I know of some who are persons of high sta-
tion and who have serious illnesses and heavy trials but for fear
of annoying their husbands dare not complain. Well, sinner
that I am! Indeed, we have not come here to receive more com-
fort than they! Oh, you who are free from the great trials of the
world, learn how to suffer a little for love of God without hav-
ing everyone know about it! If a woman in an unhappy mar-
riage suffers much adversity without being able to receive com-
fort from anyone lest her husband know that she speaks and
complains about it, shouldn't we suffer just between ourselves
and God some of the illnesses He gives us because of our sins?
And even more so because by our complaining the sickness is
not alleviated.
4. In all this that I have said I am not dealing with serious
illnesses, when there is great fever — although I beg for modera-
tion and always patience — but of little ailments, that one can
bear on one's feet. But what would happen if this that I'm
writing were seen outside the house? What would all the nuns
say about me? How willingly I would suffer their talk if some-
one were to make amends! For if there is but one nun like this,
the situation can reach a point that for the most part no one is
The Way of Perfection Chap. 12
81
believed no matter how serious her sickness may be. Let us
remember our holy fathers of the past, those hermits whose
lives we aim to imitate. What sufferings they endured! What
solitude, cold, and hunger, and what sun and heat, without
anyone to complain to but God! Do you think they were made
of steel? Well, they were as delicate as we. And believe,
daughters, that when we begin to conquer these wretched little
bodies, we will not be so troubled by them. There will be
enough Sisters to look after what is necessary; forget about
yourselves except in what concerns a definite need. If we do not
determine once and for all to swallow death and the lack of
health, we will never do anything. Strive not to fear them;
abandon yourselves totally to God, come what may. So what if
we die? If our body has mocked us so often, shouldn't we mock
it at least once?
5. And believe that this determination is more important
than we can realize. For little by little as we grow accustomed
to this attitude we shall, with the Lord's help, remain lords of
our bodies. Now, then, conquering such an enemy is a very im-
portant means to enduring the battle of this life. May the Lord
conquer him as He alone can. I truly believe that the benefits
coming from this practice are not known except by one who
already enjoys the victory. They are so great, from what I
believe, that no one would feel he was undergoing trial if he
could remain in this calm and dominion.
Chapter 12
How the true lover of God will have little regard for his own life
and honor.
LET US GO ON to other things that are also quite important,
Jalthough they may seem small. Everything seems to be
a heavy burden, and rightly so, because it involves a war
against ourselves. But once we begin to work, God does so
much in the soul and grants it so many favors that all that one
can do in this life seems little. And as nuns we do the most we
82
St. Teresa of A vtla
can; that is, we give up our freedom for the love of God, plac-
ing it in the power of another, and undergo so many trials and
fasts, so much silence, enclosure, and service in choir that
however much we may want to please ourselves we can only
seldom do so. And in many of the monasteries that I have seen,
perhaps I am the only one who pleases herself. Why should we,
then, delay in practicing interior mortification? For interior
mortification makes everything else more meritorious and
perfect, and afterward enables us to do the other things with
greater ease and repose. This interior mortification is ac-
quired, as I have said,1 by proceeding gradually, not giving in
to our own will and appetites, even in little things, until the
body is completely surrendered to the spirit.
2. I repeat2 that the whole matter, or a great part of it, lies
in losing concern about ourselves and our own satisfaction.
The least that any of us who has truly begun to serve the Lord
can offer Him is our own life. Since we have given the Lord our
will, what do we fear? It is clear that if someone is a true
religious or a true person of prayer and aims to enjoy the
delights of God, he must not turn his back upon the desire to
die for God and suffer martyrdom. For don't you know yet,
Sisters, that the life of a good religious who desires to be one of
God's close friends is a long martyrdom? A long martyrdom
because in comparison with the martyrdom of those who are
quickly beheaded, it can be called long; but all life is short,
and the life of some extremely short. And how do we know if
ours won't be so short that at the very hour or moment we
determine to serve God completely it will come to an end? This
is possible. In sum, there is no reason to give importance to
anything that will come to an end. And who will not work hard
if he thinks that each hour is the last? Well, believe me, think-
ing this is the safest course.
3. So, let us try hard to go against our own will in
everything. For if you are careful, as I said,3 you will gradually,
without knowing how, find yourselves at the summit. But how
extremely rigorous, it seems, to say that we shouldn't please
ourselves in anything when we do not also mention the pleasure
and delight this going against our will carries in its wake and
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 12
83
what is gained by it even in this life. What security! Since all of
you practice this denial here, the most is done; for you awaken
and help one another. This is the practice in which each one
should strive to be ahead of the others.
4. Take careful note of interior stirrings, especially if they
have to do with privileges of rank. God, by His Passion, deliver
us from dwelling on such words or thoughts as, "I have seniori-
ty," "I am older," "I have done more work," "the other is
treated better than I." If such thoughts come they should be
quickly cut off. If you dwell on them or begin to speak about
them, the result is a pestilence from which great evils arise [in
monasteries. Be careful, for I know a great deal about it!] If
you should have a prioress who consents to this kind of thing,
however small, believe that God has permitted, on account of
your sins, that you have her as prioress so that you will begin to
go astray; and pray hard that He will provide a remedy because
you are in great danger.
5. Perhaps you will say: "Why should I give so much impor-
tance to this detachment and be so rigorous about it, for God
gives consolations to those who are not so detached?" I believe
He does do this, for in His infinite wisdom He sees that this is
fitting so as to draw them to give up everything for Him. I do
not call "giving up everything" entering religious life, for there
can be impediments to entering religious life, and the perfect
soul can be detached and humble anywhere; although this lat-
ter may involve greater trial, for being in a monastery is a big
help. But believe me in one thing: if there is any vain esteem of
honor or wealth (and this can be had inside monasteries as well
as outside, although inside the occasions for it are more re-
moved and the fault would be greater), you will never grow
very much or come to enjoy the true fruit of prayer. And this is
so even though you may have many years of experience in
prayer — or, better, I should say reflection because perfect
prayer in the end removes these bad habits.
6. Consider, Sisters, whether any of these things pertain to
you; you are here for no other purpose. It will be due to your
vain esteem of honor that you will not be honored. Moreover,
84
St. Teresa of Avila
you will lose the benefit you could have otherwise gained; thus
dishonor and loss will be joined together here.
Let each one consider how much humility she has, and she
will see what progress has been made. It doesn't seem to me the
devil will tempt the truly humble person about rank even with
the first stirrings. Since he is so shrewd, he fears getting hurt. It
is impossible for a person who is humble not to gain strength
and progress in humility when the devil tempts him in this way.
Clearly, a humble person will reflect on his life and consider
how he has served the Lord in comparison with how the Lord
ought to be served and the wonders the Lord performed in
lowering Himself so as to give us an example of humility; and
he will consider his sins and where he merited to be on account
of them. The soul ends up with so much gain that the devil
doesn't dare return another day lest he get his head crushed.
7. Take this advice from me and do not forget it; do not
strive only in an interior way- for it would be a very great loss
if we didn't derive some benefit from these acts of
humility — but strive also in an exterior way that the Sisters
draw some benefit from your temptation. If you wish to take
revenge on the devil and free yourself more quickly from temp-
tation, ask the prioress as soon as the temptation comes to give
you orders to do some lowly task; or, if possible, do it on your
own and go about studying how to double your willingness to
do things that go contrary to your nature. The Lord will reveal
these things to you, and in this way and as a result the tempta-
tion will last only a short while.4 God deliver us from persons
who are concerned about honor while trying to serve Him.
Consider it an evil gain, and, as I said,5 honor is itself lost by
desiring it, especially in matters of rank. For there is no toxin
in the world that kills perfection as do these things.
8. You will say that these are natural little things to which
we need pay no attention. Don't fool yourselves, they increase
like foam, and there is nothing so small in which there is so ob-
vious a danger as this concern about honor and whether we
have been offended. Do you know why besides many other
reasons? Perhaps this concern begins in someone as something
small and amounting to hardly anything, and then the devil
The Way of Perfection - Chap. 13
85
stirs another to think it is something big, and this other will
even think she is practicing charity by going and saying to the
offended nun, "How do you put up with such an offense? God
give you patience to offer it up; a saint wouldn't suffer more."
The devil puts such malicious talk on the other Sister's tongue
that though you barely overcome the offense, you are still
tempted to vainglory, when in reality you did not suffer with
the perfection with which you should have suffered.
9. And this nature of ours is so weak that merely by telling
ourselves that the offense should not be tolerated, we think and
believe that we have done something; how much more is this so
when we see that others feel this way for us. As a result, the soul
loses the occasions it had for meriting; it becomes weaker and
opens the door for the devil to come again with something
worse. And it could even happen, when you want to suffer the
injury, that they will come to you and say: "Are you a beast or
what? It's good for you to feel things." [Huh, and if one of them
is a friend!] Oh, for love of God, my Sisters! May no one be
moved by an indiscreet charity to show pity for another in
something that touches upon these false injuries, for such pity
is like that of Job's wife and friends.6
Chapter 13
Continues to discuss mortification and how one must flee from
the world's maxims and rules about honor in order to arrive at
true wisdom.
I HAVE OFTEN TOLD YOU, Sisters, and now I want to leave
it in writing here so that you will not forget it, that in this
house — and even in the case of any person seeking perfec-
tion — you should run a thousand miles from such expressions
as: "I was right." "They had no reason for doing this to me."
"The one who did this to me was wrong." God deliver us from
this poor way of reasoning. Does it seem to have been right that
our good Jesus suffered so many insults and was made to
undergo so much injustice? I don't know why the nun who
86
St. Teresa of Avila
doesn't want to carry the cross, except the one that seems to her
reasonable, is in the monastery. Let her return to the world,
although even there they will not respect such reasonings.
Could you by chance suffer as much as you deserve? What kind
of reasoning is this? I certainly don't understand it.
2. Let us reason in such a way when some honor is paid to
us, or when we are given some comfort or receive good treat-
ment; for certainly it isn't right that we be so treated in this
life. When wrongs are done — that's what they call them
without there being any wrong done to us — I don't know what
there is to talk about. Either we are brides of so great a King or
we are not. If we are, what honorable woman is there who does
not share in the dishonors done to her spouse even though she
does not will them? In fact, both spouses share the honor and
the dishonor. Now, then, to enjoy a part in His kingdom and
want no part in His dishonors and trials is nonsense.
3. May God not allow us to refuse the latter; but the nun to
whom it seems she is herself least of all should consider herself
the most blessed of all. And she indeed is. If she bears dishonor
as it must be borne, she will not be without honor either in this
life or in the next. Believe me in this. But what nonsense I have
spoken — that you believe me, when it has been said by true
Wisdom, [who is Truth itself, and by the Queen of the angels.1
Let us, at least, imitate His humility in some way. I say "in
some way," for however much we might lower and humble
ourselves, someone like myself does nothing; for because of her
sins she has merited that the devils humiliate and despise her,
even though she wouldn't like their doing so. For even if you
may not have so many sins, seldom is there anyone who hasn't
done something by which he has merited hell.]
Let us, my daughters, imitate in some way the great humility
of the Blessed Virgin, whose habit we wear, for it is embarrass-
ing to call ourselves her nuns. However much it seems to us
that we humble ourselves, we fall far short of being the
daughters of such a Mother and the brides of such a Spouse.
Thus, if you do not diligently put a stop to the things men-
tioned, what today seems to be nothing will tomorrow perhaps
be a venial sin; and it is so dangerous that if you are careless
The Way of Perfection Chap. 13
87
about it you will suffer its ill effects, for it is something very bad
for religious communities.
4. We who live in community should be very careful about it
so as not to harm those who work to do good for us and give us
good example. And if we could understand what great harm is
done when a bad custom is begun, we would rather die than be
the cause of it. For such a death would be a bodily one, but the
loss of souls is a great loss, and it doesn't seem there is any end to
the loss. Once some are dead, others follow after; and all,
perhaps, are hurt more from a bad custom we have started than
from many virtues. For the devil does not allow the bad custom
to cease, but natural weakness causes the virtues to be lost.
5. Oh, what a great act of charity and what a great service
to God a nun would perform if when she sees she cannot follow
the customs of this house she would recognize the fact and
leave! And she ought to do so if she doesn't want to go through
a hell here on earth; and, please God, there won't be another
in the next life,2 for there are many reasons to fear such perdi-
tion, and perhaps neither she nor the others will understand
this as I do.
6. Believe me in this matter; and if you don't, time will be
my witness. For the style of life we aim to follow is not just that
of nuns but of hermits, and thus you detach yourselves from
every creature. I see the Lord gives this favor of detachment in
a special way to the one He has chosen for this life. Even
though the detachment may not be entirely perfect from the
beginning, it is seen that she is advancing toward it by the great
contentment and happiness she finds in not having to deal
again with anything of the world and by how she relishes
everything about the religious life.
I repeat that if she is inclined to the things of the world and
not seen to be making progress that she should leave. If she still
desires to be a nun, let her go to another monastery; and if she
doesn't she will see what will happen to her. Don't let her com-
plain about me, who started this way of life, for not having
warned her.
7. This house is a heaven, if one can be had on this earth.
Here we have a very happy life if one is pleased only with pleas-
88
St. Teresa of A vila
ing God and pays no attention to her own satisfaction. If a nun
desires something in addition to pleasing God, all will be lost
because that something cannot be had. The discontented nun
is like someone who feels great loathing for food; however good
the food may be, it nauseates him, and the food that healthy
people find great pleasure in eating is repugnant to such a per-
son. This nun will be saved better elsewhere, and it may be
that little by little she will reach the perfection that here she
couldn't endure because she had to undertake it all at once.
For although interiorly it takes time to become totally detached
and mortified, exteriorly it must be done immediately. I fear
that any nun who walks in such good company and sees that all
the other nuns are detached but does not herself make progress
in a year will not make more progress in many years, but less. I
don't say that the detachment need be as complete as it is with
the other nuns, but that you recognize that health is returning;
for when the sickness is mortal, the fact becomes immediately
obvious.
Chapter 14
The importance of not allowing anyone to make profession
whose spirit goes contrary to the things mentioned.
I TRULY BELIEVE that the Lord highly favors the one who
has real determination. Thus, the intention of the new
member should be considered, lest she merely be looking for a
secure future, as will be the case with many,1 although the
Lord can bring this intention to perfection if she has good in-
telligence; but if she doesn't, in no way should she be accepted,
for neither will she understand why she is entering, nor after-
ward will she understand those who desire to lead her along the
best spiritual path. For the most part those who have this fault
always think they know more about what suits them than do
those who are wiser. And the fault is an evil I consider in-
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 14
89
curable, for it would be a wonder if those having this fault ever
gave up their malice. Where there are many nuns this fault
could be tolerated, but where there are so few it shouldn't be
allowed.
2. When a nun with good intelligence begins to grow at-
tached to good, she takes hold of it with fortitude because she
sees that doing so is most appropriate. And if her intelligence
doesn't help her to attain a high degree of spirituality, it will be
useful for giving good counsel and for many other services
without being a bother to anyone. If this good intelligence is
lacking, I don't know how she can be of any use to the com-
munity, and she could be the cause of much harm.
This lack of intelligence is not so quickly noticed. For many
speak well but understand poorly; others speak little and
without polish but they have the intelligence for a great deal of
good. In fact, there is a holy simplicity that knows little about
the affairs and style of the world but a lot about dealing with
God. Hence much information is necessary before accepting
new members and a long probation before admitting them to
profession. Let the world understand once and for all that you
have the freedom to dismiss the new members and that in a
monastery where austerities are practiced, there are many oc-
casions for doing so. And when decisions of this sort become
the custom, no one will take the dismissal as an affront.
3. I say this because we are living in such miserable times
and our nature is so weak that we don't want to offend
relatives, and so it is not enough that we have a command from
our forefathers to stop paying attention to what people
nowadays take for honor. May it please God that we do not pay
in the next life for the new members we admit in this life; there
is never lacking a pretext for convincing ourselves that we can't
do otherwise. [And in a matter so important no pretext is good,
for when the bishop without attachment or passion looks after
the good of the house, I don't think God will ever let him be
mistaken. And I do believe that there will always be some
mistake made if he is affected by such pity and foolish ideas
about one's honor.]
90
St. Teresa of Avila
4. And this is a matter that each one should consider,
recommend to God, and encourage the prioress about, for it's
something so important. Thus, I beg God to give you light.
You are very fortunate that you do not receive dowries, for it
can happen that in monasteries where they are accepted the
nuns, so as to avoid giving back the money — which they no
longer have — leave the thief in the house who steals the
treasure from them; which is a great pity. In this matter you
shouldn't take pity on anyone, for you would be doing harm to
the person you are trying to help.
Chapter 15
The great good that lies in not excusing oneself even when
blamed without fault.
rT3 UT WHAT DISORDER IN THE WAY I write! Really, it's as
[-U though the work were done by one who doesn't know what
she's doing. The fault is yours, Sisters, because you are the ones
who ordered me to write this. Read it as best you can, for I am
writing it as best I can. And if you find that it is all wrong,
burn it. Time is necessary to do the work well, and I have so lit-
tle as you see, for eight days must have gone by in which I
haven't written anything. So I forget what I have said and also
what I was going to say. Now it is wrong for me to ask you to
avoid doing what I have just finished doing, that is, making ex-
cuses. For I see that not making excuses for oneself is a habit
characteristic of high perfection, and very meritorious; it gives
great edification. And although I have often taught it to you,
and by God's goodness you practice it, His Majesty has never
given it to me.]
I am very embarrassed about what I am going to try to per-
suade you of, for I should have practiced at least something of
what I am about to tell you concerning this virtue. The fact is,
I confess, that I have made very little progress. It always seems
to me there is some reason for my thinking it is greater virtue to
The Way of Perfection Chap. 15
91
make an excuse for myself. Since at times it is lawful to give an
excuse and it would be wrong not to do so, I don't have the
discretion or, to put it better, humility to do so when fitting.
Indeed, it calls for great humility to be silent at seeing oneself
condemned without fault. This is a wonderful way to imitate
the Lord who took away all our faults. So, I ask you to take
great care about this practice; it brings with it great benefits. I
see no reason at all for us to try to excuse ourselves, unless, as I
say, in some cases where not telling the truth would cause
anger or scandal. When to excuse oneself will be recognized by
those who have more discretion than I.
2. I believe it's very advantageous to get in the habit of prac-
ticing this virtue, or to strive to attain from the Lord the true
humility that comes from it. The truly humble person must in
fact desire to be held in little esteem, persecuted, and con-
demned without fault even in serious matters. If she desires to
imitate the Lord, in what better way can she do so? For here
there is no need of bodily strength or help from anyone but
God.
3. I should like us, my Sisters, to strive very much for these
great virtues; and let us do this penance, for you already know
that I am rather strict when there is question of your doing too
many penances. They can do harm to one's health if done
without discretion. In this practice there is nothing to fear.
However great the interior virtues may be, they do not take
away the bodily strength necessary to keep the religious observ-
ance; on the contrary, they strengthen the soul. And from very
little things, as I have said at other times,1 one can gain the
light so as to come out the victor in great things. [But how easi-
ly one writes of this and how poorly I practice it!] Indeed, in
these great things I have not been able to test this myself, for I
have never heard anything evil said of me that I didn't see that
it fell short; for even though I had not failed in the things they
accused me of, I have offended God in many other areas, and
it seemed to me they were being quite kind by not mentioning
these other offenses. I am always happier that they speak about
what is not true of me than the truth.2
4. It is a great help to reflect upon the many things that are
92
St. Teresa of Avila
gained through all the various ways and how — if we observe
carefully — we are never, never blamed without there being
faults on our part, for we always go about full of them since the
just man falls seven times a day, and it would be a lie to say we
have no sin.3 Thus even though we are blamed for faults we
haven't committed, we are never entirely without fault, as was
the good Jesus.
5. O my Lord, when I think of the many ways You suffered
and how You deserved none of these sufferings, I don't know
what to say about myself, nor do I know where my common
sense was when I didn't want to suffer, nor where I am when I
excuse myself. You already know, my Good, that if I have some
good it is a gift from no one else's hands but Yours. Now, Lord,
what costs You more, to give much or little? If it is true that I
have not merited this good, neither have I merited the favors
You have granted me. Is it possible that I have wanted anyone
to feel good about a thing as bad as I after so many evil things
have been said about You who are the Good above all goods?
Don't allow, don't allow, my God — nor would I ever want You
to allow — that there be anything in Your servant that is
displeasing in Your eyes. Observe, Lord, that mine are blind
and satisfied with very little. Give me light and grant that I
may truly desire to be abhorred by all since I have so often
failed You who have loved me so faithfully.
6. What is this, my God? What do we expect to obtain from
pleasing creatures? What does it matter if we are blamed a lot
by all of them if in Your presence we are without fault? O my
Sisters, we never completely understand this virtue; so, we are
never completely perfect if we do not reflect and think a great
deal upon what is and what is not. For when you have no other
gain than the embarrassment of the person who after having
blamed you sees that you are in fact without fault and yet allow
yourself to be condemned, that gain is extremely great. At
times something like this elevates a soul more than ten ser-
mons. We must all try to be preachers through our deeds since
the Apostle4 and our incapacity prevent us from being
preachers through our words.
7. However enclosed you are, never think that the good or
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 16
93
evil you do will remain a secret. And do you think, daughters,
that when you do not excuse yourselves there will be lacking
someone to defend you? Observe how the Lord answered for
the Magdalene both in the house of the Pharisee and when her
sister accused her.5 He will not be as harsh with you as He was
with Himself, for at the time that one of the thieves defended
Him, He was on the cross.6 So His Majesty will inspire someone
to defend you; and when He doesn't, the defense won't be
necessary. I have seen this, and it is true. But I wouldn't want
you to be thinking about being defended, but that you rejoice
in being blamed; and time will be the witness to the benefit you
will see in your soul. For one begins to obtain freedom and
doesn't care whether they say good or evil of him but rather
thinks of what is said as though it were another's affair. The
situation is like that in which we have two persons talking
together but not to us; we then don't care about answering. So
it is here; with the habit that has been acquired of not
responding, it doesn't seem they are speaking to us.
This will seem impossible to those of us who are very sensitive
and little mortified. In the beginning it is difficult; but I know
that such freedom, self-denial, and detachment from ourselves
can, with God's help, be attained.
Chapter 16
The difference that must lie between the perfection of the life
of contemplatives and that of those who are simply content
with the practice of mental prayer. How it is possible that God
may at times raise a distracted soul to perfect contemplation
and the reason for His doing so. This chapter and the following
one are very noteworthy. 1
[DON'T THINK THAT WHAT I HAVE SAID so far is all I
have to say, for I am just setting up the game, as they say. You
asked me to mention something about the foundation for
prayer. Even though God did not lead me by means of this
foundation, for I still don't have these virtues,2 I know of no
94
St. Teresa of A vila
other. Now realize that anyone who doesn't know how to set up
the pieces for a game of chess won't know how to play well.
And if he doesn't know how to check his opponent's king, he
won't know how to checkmate it either. Well, you will repri-
mand me because I am speaking about a game we do not have
in this house, nor should we have it. Here you see the kind of
Mother God has given you, that she even knows about this
vanity; although they say that sometimes the game is permissi-
ble. And oh, how permissible this kind of game will be for us;
and how quickly, if we play it often, will we checkmate this
divine King, who will not be able to escape, nor will He want
to.
2. The queen is the piece that can carry on the best battle in
this game, and all the other pieces help. There's no queen like
humility for making the King surrender. Humility drew the
King from heaven to the womb of the Virgin, and with it, by
one hair,3 we will draw Him to our souls. And realize that the
one who has more humility will be the one who possesses Him
more; and the one who has less will possess Him less. For I can-
not understand how there could be humility without love or
love without humility; nor are these two virtues possible
without detachment from all creatures.
3. You will ask me, daughters, why I am speaking to you
about virtues when you have enough books to teach you about
them, and you will say that you want to hear only about con-
templation. I say that had you asked about meditation I could
have spoken about it and counseled all to practice it even
though they do not possess the virtues, for meditation is the
basis for acquiring all the virtues, and to undertake it is a mat-
ter of life and death for all Christians. And no one, however
lost he may be, should set it aside if God has awakened him to
so great a good, as I have already written elsewhere4 and as
have many others who know what they are writing about; for I
certainly don't know what I'm writing about — God knows.
4. But contemplation is something else, daughters. This is
the mistake we all make, that if a person spends a little time
each day thinking about his sins — for he is obliged to do that if
The Way of Perfection Chap. 16
95
he is a Christian more than in name- they immediately say he
is a very contemplative soul and they want him to possess at
once virtues as great as those a very contemplative soul is
obliged to have; and even the person himself wants this, but is
mistaken. In the beginning he didn't know how to set up the
game. He thought it was enough to know the pieces in order to
checkmate the King. But that was impossible, for this King
doesn't give Himself but to those who give themselves entirely
to Him.]
5. Therefore, daughters, if you desire that I tell you about
the way that leads to contemplation, you will have to bear
with me if I enlarge a little on some other matters even though
they may not seem to you so important; for in my opinion they
are. And if you don't want to hear about them or put them in-
to practice, stay with your mental prayer for your whole life,
for I assure you and all persons who aim after true contempla-
tion (though I could be mistaken since I am judging by myself
for whom it took twenty years) that you will not thereby reach
it.
6. I now want to explain — because some of you don't
know — what mental prayer is, and please God we shall practice
this as it ought to be practiced. But I fear that mental prayer
also involves much labor if the virtues are not obtained —
although it's not necessary that they be possessed in as high a
degree as is required for contemplation. I say that the King of
glory will not come to our soul — I mean to be united with it — if
we do not make the effort to gain the great virtues. I want to
explain this because if you should catch me saying something
that isn't true you wouldn't believe anything, and you would be
right if I did so knowingly; but God forbid! If I should say
something that isn't true, it would be a matter of my not know-
ing more or not understanding. I want to say, then, that there
are times when God will want to grant some great favor to per-
sons who are in a bad state so as to draw them by this means
out of the hands of the devil.5
7. O my Lord, how often do we make You fight the devil in
arm to arm combat! Isn't it enough that You allowed him to
take You in his arms when he carried You to the pinnacle of
96
St. Teresa of Avila
the temple6 so that You might teach us how to conquer him?
But what would it be like, daughters, to see him, with his
darknesses, next to the Sun. And what fear that unfortunate
one must have borne without knowing why, for God didn't
allow him to understand it.7 Blessed be such compassion and
mercy. What shame we Christians ought to have for making
Him wrestle arm to arm, as I have said, with so foul a beast. It
was truly necessary, Lord, that you have such strong arms. But
how is it that they didn't weaken by the many torments You
suffered on the cross? Oh, how everything that is suffered with
love is healed again! And so I believe that had You survived,
the very love You have for us would have healed Your wounds,
for no other medicine was necessary. [It seems I am speaking
nonsense, but I'm not; for divine love can do greater things
than these. But to avoid seeming strange — which I really
am — and so as not to give you bad example, I'll say no more.]
O my God, grant that I might put medicine like this in
everything that causes me pain and trial! How eagerly I would
desire these if I could be sure that I'd be healed with so
soothing a balm!
8. To return to what I was saying,8 there are souls that God
thinks He can win to Himself by these means. Since He sees
they are completely lost, His Majesty desires that nothing be
wanting on His part. And even though they are in a bad state
and lacking in virtue, He gives them spiritual delight, consola-
tion, and tenderness that begin to stir the desires. And He even
places them in contemplation sometimes, though He does so
rarely and it lasts only a short while. He does this, as I say, so as
to try them to see if with that favor they will want to prepare
themselves to enjoy Him often. But if they don't prepare
themselves — pardon me; or better, may You pardon us, Lord,
for it is a great evil when after You bring a soul like this to
Yourself it approaches and becomes attached to some earthly
thing.
9. For myself I hold that there are many to whom our Lord
God gives this test, but few who prepare themselves for the en-
joyment of the favor of contemplation. When the Lord grants
it and we do not fail on our part, I hold as certain that He
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 16
97
never ceases to give until we reach a very high degree. When
we do not give ourselves to His Majesty with the determination
with which He gives Himself to us, He does a good deal by leav-
ing us in mental prayer and visiting us from time to time like
servants in His vineyard.9 But these others are favored
children. He would not want them to leave His side, nor does
He leave them, for they no longer want to leave Him. He seats
them at His table, He shares with them His food even to the
point of taking a portion from His own mouth to give them.
10. Oh, blessed care, my daughters! Oh, blessed renuncia-
tion of things so small and so base that reaches so high a state.
What would it matter, when you are in the arms of God, if the
whole world blamed you! He has the power to free you from
everything, for once He commanded that the world be made,
it was made; His will is the deed. Now do not fear that He will
allow others to speak against you except for the benefit of those
He loves. His love for those who love Him is not so small. Well
why, my Sisters, shouldn't we show our love for Him as much as
we can? Behold it is a beautiful exchange to give our love for
His. Consider that He can do all things, and we can't do
anything here below but what He enables us to do. Well, what
is this that we do for You, Lord, our Maker? It amounts to
almost nothing, just a little determination. Well, if from that
which is nothing His Majesty desires us to merit everything,
let's not be foolish.
11. O Lord, how true that all harm comes to us from not
keeping our eyes fixed on You; if we were to look at nothing
else but the way, we would soon arrive. But we meet with a
thousand falls and obstacles and lose the way because we don't
keep our eyes — as I say — on the true way. It seems so new to us
that you would think we had never walked on it. It's certainly
something to excite pity, that which sometimes happens. [I say
that it doesn't seem we are Christians or that we ever in our
lives read the Passion. God help me, if I neglect a little rule
concerning someone's honor! If anyone tells you not to worry
about your honor, he at once seems to be unchristian. I laughed
to myself— or rather was distressed — at what I sometimes saw
in the world and even, because of my sins, in religious com-
98
5/. Teresa of Avila
munities.] For any slight loss in one's honor is not tolerated, nor
does it seem that such a loss should be tolerated. They im-
mediately say:"We're not saints."
12. God deliver us, Sisters, when we do something im-
perfect, from saying: "We're not angels, we're not saints."
Consider that even though we're not, it is a great good to think
that if we try we can become saints with God's help. And have
no fear that He will fail if we don't fail. Since we have not come
here for any other thing, let us put our hands to the task, as
they say. May we presume to use everything we learn about
greater service of the Lord in His favor. The presumption I
would like to see present in this house, for it always makes
humility grow, is to have a holy daring; for God helps the
strong and He shows no partiality.10
13. I have digressed a good deal. I want to return to what I
was saying,11 that is, explaining the nature of mental prayer
and of contemplation. It may seem impertinent for me to be
doing that, but for you everything is acceptable. It may be that
you will understand the matter better through my rough style
than through other more elegant styles. May the Lord help me,
amen.
Chapter 17
Not all souls are suited for contemplation, and some reach it
late. The truly humble person must be content with the path
along which God leads him.
IT SEEMS I AM ALREADY DEALING with prayer. But
something still remains to be said that is very important
because it pertains to humility and is necessary in this house1
where the main occupation is prayer. And, as I have said,2 it is
only right that you should try to understand how to train
yourselves a great deal in humility. In fact, this is an important
aspect of prayer and indispensable for all persons who practice
it. How could a truly humble person think he is as good as
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 17
99
those who are contemplatives? Yes, it is true, God can make
you a contemplative — through His goodness and mercy; but,
in my opinion, one should always take the lowest place, for this
is what the Lord told us to do3 and taught us in deed. Prepare
yourself so that God may lead you along this path if He so
desires. When He doesn't, you can practice humility, which is
to consider yourself lucky to serve the servants of the Lord and
praise His Majesty because He brought you among them and
drew you away from the devils in hell where you deserved to be
a slave of these devils.
2. I don't say this without serious cause, because, as I have
said,4 it is important to understand that God doesn't lead all by
one path, and perhaps the one who thinks she is walking along
a very lowly path is in fact higher in the eyes of the Lord.
So, not because all in this house practice prayer must all be
contemplatives; that's impossible. And it would be very
distressing for the one who isn't a contemplative if she didn't
understand the truth that to be a contemplative is a gift from
God; and since being one isn't necessary for salvation, nor does
God demand this, she shouldn't think anyone will demand it of
her. So, you will not fail to be very perfect if you do what has
been mentioned. Indeed, it could be that a Sister will gain
much more merit because she must work harder and the Lord
leads her as one who is strong, saving for her what she doesn't
enjoy here below so as to give it to her all at once. Not for this
reason should she grow fainthearted or give up prayer or what
all the other Sisters are doing, for sometimes the Lord comes
very late and pays just as well, and all at once, what He was giv-
ing to others in the course of many years.
3. I spent fourteen years never being able to practice
meditation without reading. There will be many persons of this
sort, and others who will be unable to meditate even with the
reading but able only to pray vocally, and in this vocal prayer
they will spend most of their time. There are minds so active
they cannot dwell on one thing but are always restless, and to
such an extreme that if they want to pause to think of God, a
thousand absurdities, scruples, and doubts come to mind.
I know an elderly person who lives a good life, is penitential
100
St. Teresa of Avila
and an excellent servant of God, who has spent many hours for
many years in vocal prayer, but in mental prayer she's helpless;
the most she can do is go slowly in reciting the vocal prayers.5
There are a number of other persons of this kind. If humility is
present, I don't believe they will be any the worse off in the end
but will be very much the equals of those who receive many
delights; and in a way they will be more secure, for we do not
know if the delights are from God or from the devil. Now if the
delights are not from God, there is greater danger because the
work of the devil here is to instigate pride. But if they are from
God, there is nothing to fear; they bring with them humility, as
I have written very much at length in another book.6
4. Those who do not receive these delights walk with humili-
ty, suspecting that this lack is their own fault, always con-
cerned about making progress. They don't see anyone shed a
tear without thinking that if they themselves don't shed any
they are very far behind in the service of God. And perhaps
they are much more advanced, for tears, even though they be
good, are not all perfect. In humility, mortification, detach-
ment, and the other virtues there is always greater security.
There is nothing to fear; don't be afraid that you will fail to
reach the perfection of those who are very contemplative.
5. St. Martha was a saint, even though they do not say she
was contemplative. Well now, what more do you want than to
be able to resemble this blessed woman who merited so often to
have Christ our Lord in her home, give Him food, serve Him,
and eat at table with Him [and even from His plate]?7 If she
had been enraptured like the Magdalene, there wouldn't have
been anyone to give food to the divine Guest. Well, think of
this congregation as the home of St. Martha and that there
must be people for every task. And those who are led by the ac-
tive life shouldn't complain about those who are very much ab-
sorbed in contemplation, for these active ones know that the
Lord will defend the contemplatives, even though these latter
are silent8 since for the most part contemplation makes one
forgetful of self and of all things.
6. Let them recall that it is necessary for someone to prepare
His meal and let them consider themselves lucky to serve with
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 17
101
Martha. Let them consider how true humility consists very
much in great readiness to be content with whatever the Lord
may want to do with them and in always finding oneself unwor-
thy to be called His servant. If contemplating, practicing men-
tal and vocal prayer, taking care of the sick, helping with
household chores, and working even at the lowliest tasks are all
ways of serving the Guest who comes to be with us and eat and
recreate, what difference does it make whether we serve in the
one way or the other?
7. I don't say that we shouldn't try; on the contrary, we
should try everything. What I am saying is that this is not a
matter of your choosing but of the Lord's. If after many years
He should give to each a certain task, it would be a nice kind of
humility for you to want to choose for yourselves. Leave it up to
the Lord of the house; He is wise, He is mighty, He
understands what is suitable for you and what is suitable for
Him as well. Be sure that if you do what lies in your power,
preparing yourselves for contemplation with the perfection
mentioned, and that if He doesn't give it to you (and I believe
He will give it if detachment and humility are truly present),
He will save this gift for you so as to grant it to you all at once in
heaven. And, as I have said before,9 He wants to lead you as
though you were strong, giving you the cross here below,
something that His Majesty always had. What better friend-
ship than that He desire for you what He desired for Himself?
And it could be that you would not have received so great an
award in contemplation. The judgments are His, there's no
reason for us to become involved in them. It is good that the
choice is not up to us, for then — since contemplation seems a
more restful path — we would all be great contemplatives.
O wonderful gain, not to want to gain from following our
own judgment lest we suffer any loss! God, in fact, never per-
mits any loss to come to a person truly mortified save for a
greater gain.
102
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 18
Continues on the same subject and tells how the trials of con-
templatives are much greater than those of persons living an
active life. This chapter is very consoling for these latter.
NOW, DAUGHTERS, I TELL THOSE OF YOU whom God
does not lead by this path that from what I have seen and
understood concerning the lives of those who do walk along it,
contemplatives do not bear a lighter cross; and you would be
surprised at the ways and modes in which God gives them
crosses. I know both paths, and I know clearly that the trials
God gives to contemplatives are intolerable. These trials are of
such a kind that if He didn't give that food with its delights,
these persons wouldn't be able to endure the trials. And it is
clear that since God wants to lead those whom He greatly loves
by the path of tribulation — and the more He loves them the
greater the tribulation — there is no reason to think that He
despises contemplatives, for with His own mouth He praises
them and considers them His friends.1
2. Well, to think that He admits into His intimate friend-
ship people who live in comfort and without trials is foolish. I
am very certain that God gives contemplatives much greater
trials. Thus, since He leads them along a rough and uneven
path and at times they think they are lost and must return to
begin again, His Majesty needs to give them sustenance, and
not water but wine so that in their inebriation they will not
understand what they are suffering and will be able to endure
it. So, I see few true contemplatives who are not courageous
and determined to suffer, for the first thing the Lord does, if
they are weak, is to give them courage and make them un-
afraid of trials.
3. I believe that when those of the active life see the con-
templative favored a little, they think there is nothing else to
the contemplative's life than receiving favors. Well, I say that
perhaps these active persons couldn't endure one day of the
kind the contemplative endures. Thus, since the Lord knows
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 18
103
what each one is suited for, He gives to each person a proper
task, one that He sees as appropriate for that person's soul, for
the service of the Lord Himself and for the good of neighbor.
And if you have done what you can to be prepared, do not fear
that your effort will be lost. Keep in mind that I say we should
all try to be contemplatives, since we are not here for any other
reason. And we should try not for just a year, nor for only two,
nor even for just ten; otherwise we leave the impression that we
are giving up as cowards; and it is good for the Lord to know
we are doing our best. We must be like soldiers who even
though they may not have served a great deal must always be
ready for any duty the captain commands them to undertake,
since it is he who gives them their salary. And how much better
the pay our King gives than the pay of earthly kings.2
4. Since the captain sees his soldiers present and eager to
serve and has understood the capability of each one, he
distributes the duties according to the strengths he sees. And if
these soldiers were not present, he wouldn't give them
anything, nor would he command them to serve.
So it is with us, Sisters; let us give ourselves to mental prayer.
And let whoever cannot practice it turn to vocal prayer,
reading, and colloquy with God, as I shall say afterward.3 Do
not abandon the hours of prayer we have in common;4 you
don't know when the Spouse5 will call — let not what happened
to the foolish virgins happen to you.6 He may want to give
more work, disguised in delight. If He doesn't, you should
understand that this delight is not meant for you, that it is fit-
ting for you to go without it. And here is where meriting
through humility enters; one truly believes that he isn't even
capable of doing the little he does.
5. You should be happy to serve in what they command you
to do, as I have said.7 And if this humility is true, blessed be
such a servant in the active life, for she will not complain but of
herself. [I would much rather be like her than like some con-
templatives.] Let the others fight their own war, which is not
small. Even though the standard-bearer doesn't fight in the
battle, he doesn't for that reason fail to walk in great danger;
and interiorly he must do more work than anyone. Since he
104
St. Teresa of Avila
carries the flag, he cannot defend himself; and even though
they cut him to pieces he must not let it out of his hands. So it is
with contemplatives: they must keep the flag of humility raised
and suffer all the blows they receive without returning any.
Their duty is to suffer as Christ did, to hold high the cross, not
to let it out of their hand whatever the dangers they see
themselves in, nor let any weakness in suffering be seen in
them; for this reason they are given so honorable an office. The
contemplative must be careful about what he is doing, for if he
lets go of the flag the battle will be lost. Thus, I believe that
great harm is done to those who are not so advanced when they
see that the deeds of those they consider to be captains already
and friends of God are not in conformity with this office.
6. The other soldiers advance as best they can, and
sometimes they retreat from where they see greater danger;
and no one notices this, nor do these soldiers lose honor. As for
the former ones, the eyes of all are upon them; they cannot
stir. So their office is a good one, and the king does a great
honor and favor to the one he gives it to, but the obligation in
accepting it is not a small one.
So, Sisters, we don't know what we are asking for. Let us
leave it to the Lord. [For He knows us better than we do
ourselves. And true humility is content with what is received.]
There are some persons who demand favors from God as
though these were due them in justice. That's a nice kind of
humility! Thus, He who knows all very seldom grants such per-
sons favors, and rightly so. He sees clearly that they are not
ready to drink from the chalice.8
7. What each of you will understand, daughters, if you are
advanced, will be that you are the most wretched of all. And
this understanding will be manifested in deeds done for your
own spiritual growth and for the good of others, and not in
having more delights and raptures in prayer, or visions, or
favors of this kind that the Lord grants; for we shall have to
wait for the next world to see the value of such experiences.
This understanding is like current coin, like unfailing revenue,
like having a perpetual annuity and not a sum that's paid only
once; for these other experiences come and go. This attitude
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 18
105
includes the great virtues of humility and mortification,
careful obedience by not in any way going against what the
superior commands, for you truly know that God, in whose
place the superior stands, commands it.
It is into this obedience that you must put the most effort;
and, in my opinion, where there is no obedience there are no
nuns. I am not saying anything about this virtue because I am
speaking with nuns and, I think, good ones — at least they
desire to be good. In a matter of such wisdom and importance,
no more than a word so that it won't be forgotten.
8. I say that I don't know why a nun under obedience by
vow is in the monastery if she doesn't make every effort to prac-
tice this obedience with greater perfection. At least I can assure
her that as long as she fails in obedience she will never attain to
being a contemplative, nor will she even be a good active
Sister; and I hold this as very, very certain. Even though a per-
son may not have this obligation of the vow, if he desires or
aims after contemplation, it is necessary for him in order to
proceed correctly to give up his will, with complete determina-
tion, to a confessor, who must be the kind [that will understand
him.] Since this practice is something already well known — for
there is more progress made in this way in one year than
without it in many — and it is not necessary for you, there's no
need to talk of it.
9. I conclude by saying that these are the virtues I desire you
to have, my daughters, the ones you must strive for and about
which you should have holy envy. As for those other devotions,
there's no need to be sorry about not having them; having
them is an uncertain matter. It could be that in other persons
they may be from God, whereas in your case His Majesty may
permit them to be an illusion of the devil and that you be
deceived by him, as were other persons [for in women this is
something dangerous]. Why desire to serve the Lord in a
doubtful way when you have so much that is safe? Who places
you in these dangers?
10. I have enlarged so much on this subject because I know
it is important; for this nature of ours is weak, and His Majesty
will strengthen anyone to whom He wishes to give contempla-
106
St. Teresa of Avila
tion. I have paused to give these counsels to those to whom He
doesn't give contemplation. By practicing them, the con-
templatives, also, may humble themselves. [If, daughters, you
say that you don't need them, perhaps someone else will come
along who will be pleased to have them.]
May the Lord, because of who He is, give us light to follow
His will in everything, and there will be nothing to fear.
Chapter 19
Begins to discuss prayer. Speaks to souls unable to reason with
the intellect.
SO MANY DAYS HAVE GONE BY since I wrote the above,
days in which I haven't had time to return to it, that if I
don't reread it I won't know what I was saying. So as not to take
up time, I'll have to let this work turn out in whatever way it
does, without any order. There are so many good books written
by able persons for those who have methodical minds and for
souls that are experienced and can concentrate within
themselves that it would be a mistake if you paid attention to
what I say about prayer. As I say, there are books in which the
mysteries of the Lord's life and Passion are divided according
to the days of the week, and there are meditations about judge-
ment, hell, our nothingness, and the many things we owe God
together with excellent doctrine and method concerning the
beginning and end of prayer. 1 There is nothing for me to say to
anyone who can form the habit of following this method of
prayer, or who has already formed it, for by means of so good a
path the Lord will draw him to the haven of light. And
through such a good beginning the end will be reached. All
who are able to walk along this path will have rest and security,
for when the intellect is bound one proceeds peacefully.
But what I would like to speak about and offer a remedy for,
if the Lord should will that I succeed — and if I don't, at least
you will understand that there are many souls who undergo this
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 19
107
trial, and those of you who suffer it will not grow weary — is the
following.
2. There are some souls and minds so scattered they are like
wild horses no one can stop. Now they're running here, now
there, always restless. [And if the rider is skillful, there is not
always a danger— just sometimes. But even though his life is in
no danger, he is not free from some dishonor in mounting the
wild horse; and there is always some hardship.] This
restlessness is either caused by the soul's nature or permitted by
God. I pity these souls greatly, for they seem to be like very
thirsty persons who see water in the distance, but when they
want to go there, they meet someone who prevents their pass-
ing from the beginning through the middle to the end. It hap-
pens that after they have conquered the first enemy through
their labor — and through a great deal of labor — they let
themselves be conquered by the second; they would rather die
of thirst than drink water so costly. Their efforts cease, their
courage fails. And when some have the courage to conquer the
second class of enemy as well, their strength gives way when
they meet the third, and perhaps they were no more than two
steps from the fount of living water, of which the Savior said to
the Samaritan woman, "whoever drinks of it will never thirst."2
How right and true, as words coming from the mouth of Truth
Itself, that such a person will not thirst for anything in this
life — although thirst for the things of the next life increases
much more than can ever be imagined through natural thirst!
How thirsty one becomes for this thirst! The soul understands
the great value of this thirst, and even though the thirst is a
most painful, wearying one, it brings with it the very satisfac-
tion by which it is assuaged, in such a way that it is a thirst un-
quenchable except in earthly things. Indeed, this thirst slakes
in such a way that when God satisfies the thirst, the greatest
favor He can grant the soul is to leave in it this same need — and
a greater one — to drink the water again.
3. Water has three properties that I now recall as applicable
to our subject, for it must have many more. The first is that it
refreshes; for, no matter how much heat we may experience, as
soon as we approach the water the heat goes away. If there is a
108
St. Teresa of Avila
great fire, it is extinguished by water — unless the fire burns
from pitch; then it is enkindled more. Oh, God help me, what
marvels there are in this greater enkindling of the fire by water
when the fire is strong, powerful, and not subject to the
elements. For this water doesn't impede the fire, though it is
fire's contrary, but rather makes the fire increase! It would be a
great help here to be able to speak with someone who knows
philosophy, for in knowing the properties of things he would be
able to explain to me what I enjoy thinking about but don't
know how to speak of or even perhaps understand.
4. Those of you, Sisters, who drink this water and you
others, once the Lord brings you to drink, will enjoy it and
understand how the true love of God — if it is strong, complete-
ly free of earthly things, and if it flies above them — is lord of all
the elements and of the world. And since water flows from the
earth, don't fear that it will extinguish this fire of the love of
God; such a thing does not lie within its power. Even though
the two are contraries, this fire is absolute lord; it isn't subject
to water. Hence do not be surprised, Sisters, about the many
things I have written in this book so that you might obtain this
liberty. Isn't it wonderful that a poor nun of St. Joseph's can at-
tain dominion over all the earth and the elements? No wonder
the saints, with the help of God, were able to do with the
elements whatever they wanted. Fire and water obeyed St.
Martin; even the birds and the fish, St. Francis; and so it was
with many other saints. There was clear evidence that they had
dominion over all worldly things because they labored to take
little account of them and were truly subject with all their
strength to the Lord of the world. So, as I say, the water that
rises from the earth has no power over the love of God; the
flames of this love are very high, and the source of it is not
found in anything so lowly.
There are other little fires of love of God that any event will
extinguish. But extinguish this fire? No, not at all! Even though
a whole sea of temptations comes, the fire will not be put out
and thereby made to lose control over these temptations.3 [For
with the help of God and doing what lies in their power, men
can almost seek this love by right. Do you think that because
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 19
109
the Psalmist says that all things are subject to man and put
under his feet that it is so with all men? Not at all! On the con-
trary, I see many of them subject to and trampled upon by
things. In fact, I knew a gentleman who was killed in a quarrel
over a few dimes. What a miserable price he was subject to.
There are many things you will see every day from which you
will know that I am speaking the truth. If the psalmist couldn't
lie — for what he says is from the Holy Spirit — it seems to me
that the saying, "they will rule over all earthly things," pertains
to the perfect. It could be that I don't understand and am
foolish, but I have read this.4]
5. Well, if it is water that rains from heaven, so much less
will it extinguish this fire; the two are not contraries but from
the same land. Have no fear that the one element will do harm
to the other; rather, they help each other produce their effect.
For the water of true tears, those that flow in true prayer,
readily given by the King of heaven, helps the fire burn more
and last longer; and the fire helps the water bring refreshment.
Oh, God help me, what a beautiful and marvelous thing, that
fire makes one feel cooler! Yes, and it even freezes all worldly
attachments when it is joined to the living water from heaven.
Heaven is the source of the tears that were mentioned, for they
are given and not acquired through our own efforts.
Therefore, this living water will certainly not let the heat from
worldly things detain the soul — unless to allow the soul to com-
municate this fire to others. For by its nature this fire is not
content with little; it would burn up the whole world if it
could.
6. Another property of water is that it cleans dirty things.
What would the world be like if there were no water for
washing? Do you know how clean this water is, this heavenly
water, this clear water, when it isn't cloudy, when it isn't mud-
dy, but falls from heaven? Once this water has been drunk, I
am certain that it leaves the soul bright and cleansed of all
faults. Since this divine union is something very supernatural,
it is not a matter of our own choosing. As I have written,5 God
doesn't permit a soul to drink this water unless to cleanse it and
leave it clean and free from all the mud and misery in which,
no
St. Teresa of Avila
through its own faults, it was stuck. Other delights that come
through the medium of the intellect, however much they may
accomplish, come from water running on the ground; they do
not come from drinking at the fount. There is never a lack of
muddy things to detain one on this path, and the water is not
so pure and clean. Living water is not what I call this prayer in
which, as I say, there is reasoning with the intellect; I mean
from the way I understand things. For something from the
road that we don't want will stick to our soul and be helped to
cling there by our body and natural lowliness, however much
we may want to avoid this.
7. Let me explain myself further: suppose that in order to
despise the world we are thinking about its nature and how all
things come to an end. Almost without our realizing it we find
ourselves thinking about the things we like in the world; and in
desiring to flee them, we are at least hindered a little by think-
ing about how they were and how they will be and what we will
do; in order to think of what we must do to free ourselves, we
place ourselves in danger again. Not that this reasoning must
be abandoned, but one must be fearful; it's necessary to pro-
ceed with care.
By means of this living water the Lord Himself takes up
these cares, for He doesn't want to entrust them to us.6 He so
esteems our soul that He doesn't allow it to be occupied with
things that can harm it during the time He wishes to favor it.
Rather, He immediately places it near Himself and shows it in
an instant more truths, and gives it clearer understanding of
what everything is, than we could have here below in many
years. For our eyes don't see clearly; the dust blinds us as we
walk. By this living water the Lord brings us to the end of the
journey without our understanding how.
8. The other property of water is that it satisfies to the full
and takes away thirst. To me it seems that thirst signifies the
desire for something of which we are in great want, so that if
the thing is completely lacking its absence will kill us. How
strange that if water is lacking, this lack kills us; and if there is
too much, we die, as is seen through the many who drown. O
my Lord, and who will find himself so immersed in this living
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 19
111
water that he will die! But, is this possible? Yes, because the
love of God and desire for Him can increase so much that the
natural subject is unable to endure it, and so there have been
persons who have died from love. I know of one who would
have died if God hadn't succored her immediately with such an
abundance of this living water, for she was almost carried out
of herself with raptures.7 I say that she was almost carried out
of herself because in this water the soul finds rest. It seems that
while she is drowning from not being able to endure the world,
she is revived in God; and His Majesty enables her to enjoy
what in herself she couldn't without dying.
9. It should be understood here that since there can be
nothing imperfect in our supreme Good, everything He gives is
for our good; and however great the abundance of this water He
gives, there cannot be too much in anything of His. If He gives a
great deal, He gives the soul, as I said,8 the capacity to drink
much; like a glassmaker who makes the vessel a size he sees is
necessary in order to hold what he intends to pour into it.
In desiring this water there is always some fault, since the
desire comes from ourselves; if some good comes, it comes from
the Lord who helps. But we are so indiscreet that since the pain
is sweet and delightful, we never think we can have enough of
this pain. We eat without measure, we foster this desire as
much as we can, and so sometimes it kills. How fortunate such
a death! But perhaps by continuing to live we can help others
die of desire for this death. And I believe the devil causes this
desire for death, for he understands the harm that can be done
by such a person while alive; and so at this stage he tempts one
to perform indiscreet penances so that one's health will be lost,
which would be no small gain for the devil.
10. I say that anyone who reaches the experience of this
thirst that is so impelling should be very careful because I
believe he will have this temptation. And although he may not
die of thirst, his health will be lost and he will give exterior
manifestations of this thirst, even though he may not want to;
these manifestations should be avoided at all costs. Sometimes
our diligence is of little avail, for we will be unable to hide
everything we would like to hide. But when these impulses that
112
St. Teresa of Avila
so greatly increase this desire to die come, we should be careful
not to add to the desire, but gently cut the thread with another
consideration. For our nature at times can be as much at work
as the love; there are persons who will vehemently desire
anything, even if it is bad. I don't believe these persons will be
very mortified, for mortification helps in everything. It seems
foolish to cut short something so good; but it isn't. For I do not
say that the desire is taken away, but that it is cut short, and
perhaps by another desire as meritorious as the former.
11. I wish to say something in order to explain myself better:
a great desire is given to see oneself with God and to be loosed
from this prison, like the desire St. Paul had.9 Pain for a reason
like this must in itself be very delightful; no small amount of
mortification is needed to break it off, and one will be unable
to do so completely. Sometimes the pain is seen to afflict so
much that it almost takes away one's reason. Not long ago I
saw a person of an impetuous nature who, even though she was
experienced in going against her will — I think she had already
lost it, as was seen in other things — was deranged for a while by
the great pain and the effort that was made to conceal this
pain. I hold that in so extreme a case, even though the ex-
perience may come from the Spirit of God, the humble thing is
to be fearful, for we shouldn't think we have so much charity
that it will put us in such straits.
12. If a person is able — for perhaps he will not always be
able — I say that I wouldn't consider it wrong if he were to
remove the desire by the thought that if he lives he will serve
God more and enlighten some soul that would have been lost,
and that by serving more he will merit the capacity to enjoy
God more. And let him fear the little that he has served. These
consoling thoughts are good for so great a work. His affliction
will be mitigated, and he will gain very much. For in order to
serve the Lord Himself, one should desire to suffer here below
and live with the Lord's affliction. It's as when one has a great
trial or a heavy sorrow; you comfort him by telling him to be
patient and leave it in the hands of God and that the Lord's
will is being done by it, for in every event the best we can do is
leave ourselves in the hands of God.
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 19
113
13. It would be possible for the devil in some way to foster
such a great desire. The account is given, I believe in Cassian,
of a hermit who lived a most austere life. The devil made him
think that by throwing himself into a well he would see God
more quickly.10 I truly believe that this hermit could not have
served with humility or goodness; for the Lord is faithful, and
His Majesty would not consent that one be blinded in a matter
so obvious. But clearly, if the desire were from God, it wouldn't
cause any harm: such a desire bears light, discretion, and
measure. But this adversary and enemy of ours tries to cause
harm wherever he can; and since he doesn't go about careless-
ly, neither should we. This is an important point for many
reasons. Thus the time of prayer should be shortened, however
delightful the prayer may be, when it is seen that the bodily
energies are failing or that the head might suffer harm. Discre-
tion is very necessary in all.
14. Why do you think, daughters, that I have tried to ex-
plain the goal and show you the reward before the battle, by
telling you about the good that comes from drinking of this
heavenly fount, of this living water? So that you will not be
dismayed by the trial and contradiction there is along the way,
and advance with courage and not grow weary. For, as I have
said,11 it can happen that after having arrived you will have
nothing left to do but stoop and drink from the fount; and yet
you will abandon everything and lose this good, thinking that
you have not the strength to reach it and that you are not
meant for it.
15. Behold, the Lord invites all. Since He is truth itself,
there is no reason to doubt. If this invitation were not a general
one, the Lord wouldn't have called us all, and even if He called
all, He wouldn't have promised, "I will give you to drink."12 He
could have said, "Come all of you, for in the end you won't lose
anything, and to those whom I choose I will give to drink." But
since He spoke without this condition to all, I hold as certain
that all those who do not falter on the way will drink this living
water. May the Lord, because of who He is, give us the grace to
seek this living water as it should be sought, for He promises it.
114
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 20
How in different ways consolation is never lacking on the path
of prayer. Counsels the Sisters to let their conversations deal
always with prayer.
IT SEEMS I CONTRADICTED in the previous chapter what
I had said before. When I was consoling those who were not
contemplatives, 1 I said that the Lord had different paths by
which to go to Him just as there are many dwelling places.2 So I
repeat it now. Since His Majesty has understood our weakness,
He has provided after the manner of who He is. But He did not
say: "some come by this path, and others by another." Rather,
His mercy was so great He excluded no one from striving to
come to this fount of life to drink. May He be blessed forever!
And how rightly might He have excluded me!
2. Now, since He didn't stop me when I started to walk
along this path, nor order me to be thrown into the abyss, sure-
ly He excludes no one; rather, He calls us publicly, crying
aloud.3 But since He is so good, He does not force us; on the
contrary, in many ways He gives drink to those who wish to
follow Him so that no one will go without consolation or die of
thirst. Rivers stream from this overflowing fount, some large,
others small; and sometimes little pools for children for that
is enough for them, and moreover it would frighten them to see
a lot of water. These children are the ones who are at the
beginning. So, Sisters, do not fear that you will die of thirst on
this road. Never is the lack of consoling water such that it can-
not be endured. Since this is so, take my advice and do not stop
on the road but, like the strong, fight even to death in the
search, for you are not here for any other reason than to fight.
You must always proceed with this determination to die rather
than fail to reach the end of the journey. If even though you so
proceed, the Lord should lead you in such a way that you are
left with some thirst in this life, in the life that lasts forever He
will give you to drink in great plenty and you will have no fear
of being without water. May it please the Lord that we
ourselves do not fail, amen.
The Way of Perfection Chap. 20
115
3. Now, that you might so walk along this path of prayer
that you do not go astray at the beginning, let us deal a little
with how this journey must begin; for the beginning is the more
important part — indeed it is the most important part for
everything. I don't say that if a person doesn't have the deter-
mination of which I shall speak here, he should stop trying; for
the Lord will continue perfecting him. And if that person
should do no more than take one step, the step will contain in
itself so much power that he will not have to fear losing it, nor
will he fail to be very well paid.
This situation can be compared to that of a person who uses
beads to count indulgenced prayers. If he uses them once, he
gains the indulgences; if he uses them more often, he gains
more; but if he never uses them, keeping them rather in a
chest, it would be better for him not to have them. So it is here:
even though afterward a person may not continue on the same
road, the little progress he may have made on it will have pro-
vided him with light so that he may walk well on other paths;
and the greater the progress, the more light. In sum, even if
later he gives up, he may be certain that it will not have done
him any harm to have begun; for good never produces evil.
Thus, daughters, in reference to all the persons who speak
with you, if they are disposed and there is some friendship, try
to remove any fear they may have of beginning to use so great a
good. And for the love of God I beg you that your conversation
always be directed toward bringing some good to the one with
whom you are speaking, for your prayer must be for the benefit
of souls. And since the good of souls is what you must always
beg the Lord for, it would seem wrong, Sisters, if you did not
strive for this in every way.
4. If you want to be a good relative, this desire to be of
benefit to the relative is where true friendship lies; if you want
to be a good friend, know that you cannot be one save by this
path. Let truth dwell in your hearts, as it should through
meditation, and you will see clearly the kind of love we are
obliged to have for our neighbor.
There's no longer time, Sisters, for children's games, for
116
St. Teresa of Avila
these worldly friendships, even though they may be good, seem
to be nothing else. Unless there is a very good reason and it is
for the benefit of that soul, don't let your conversation be of
the sort in which you ask, "Do you like me?" or "Don't you like
me?" It can happen that in order that your relative or brother
or a similar person listen to a truth you want to point out and
admit it you will have to dispose him by means of these words
and demonstrations of love that are always pleasing to sensuali-
ty. It will happen that a good word, as these are called, will do
more and dispose one more than will many about God so that
afterward these latter may be accepted. And thus if you use
them knowingly for the benefit of others, I do not forbid them.
But if they are not used for this reason, they will be of no avail
and may do harm without your realizing it. Others already
know that you are religious and that your business is prayer.
Don't think to yourself that you don't want them to consider
you good, for what they see in you is to the benefit or harm of
all. And it is a serious wrong for those who have so great an
obligation to speak of God, as do nuns, to think that it is good
for them to hide their feelings about God; although they may
be allowed to do this sometimes for a greater good. God is your
business and language. Whoever wants to speak to you must
learn this language; and if he doesn't, be on your guard that
you don't learn his; it will be a hell.
5. If they should think you're unsophisticated, what does it
matter? If they take you for hypocrites, it matters even less.
You will gain in that no one will want to see you except the one
who understands this language. There wouldn't be much
reason for anyone who doesn't know Arabic to enjoy speaking a
great deal with one who knows only that language. And so,
neither will they make you weary or do you harm, for to begin
to speak a new language would cause no small amount of
harm, and all your time would be spent in learning it. And you
cannot know as I do, for I have experience of it, the great evil
this new language is for the soul; in order to know the one, the
other is forgotten. The new language involves a constant
disturbance from which you ought to flee at all costs, for what
is very suited to this path that we are beginning to discuss is
peace and tranquillity of soul.
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 21
117
6. If those who speak with you wish to learn your language,
though it is not your business to teach anyone, you can tell
about the riches that are gained in learning it since telling of
this is beneficial to the other, and when he learns about the
great gain that is to be had, he may go and seek out a master
who will teach him. It would be no small favor from the Lord if
you were to succeed in awakening some soul to this good.
But how many things come to mind in beginning to discuss
this path, even to the mind of one who has walked it as poorly
as I. [Would that I had many hands with which to write so that
while putting down some of these things I wouldn't forget the
others.] May the Lord be pleased, Sisters, that I know how to
speak of it better than I have practiced it, amen.
Chapter 21
Tells how important it is to begin the practice of prayer with
great determination and not pay any attention to obstacles set
up by the devil
DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED, daughters, by the many
things you need to consider in order to begin this divine
journey which is the royal road to heaven. A great treasure is
gained by traveling this road; no wonder we have to pay what
seems to us a high price. The time will come when you will
understand how trifling everything is next to so precious a
reward.
2. Now returning to those who want to journey on this road1
and continue until they reach the end, which is to drink from
this water of life,2 I say that how they are to begin is very im-
portant—in fact, all important.3 They must have a great and
very resolute determination to persevere until reaching the
end, come what may, happen what may, whatever work is in-
volved, whatever criticism arises, whether they arrive or
whether they die on the road, or even if they don't have
courage for the trials that are met, or if the whole world col-
118
St. Teresa of A vila
lapses. You will hear some persons frequently making objec-
tions: "there are dangers"; "so-and-so went astray by such
means"; "this other one was deceived"; "another who prayed a
great deal fell away"; "it's harmful to virtue"; "it's not for
women, for they will be susceptible to illusions"; "it's better
they stick to their sewing"; "they don't need these delicacies";
"the Our Father and the Hail Mary are sufficient."
3. This last statement, Sisters, I agree with. And indeed
they are sufficient! It is always good to base your prayer on
prayers coming from the mouth of the Lord. In this matter
those who warn us are right, for if our nature were not so weak
and our devotion so lukewarm there wouldn't be any need to
compose other prayers, nor would there be need for other
books. As I say,4 I am speaking to souls that cannot recollect
their minds in the thought of other mysteries because they
think some kind of skill is needed, and there are some minds so
ingenious that they're never satisfied with any of their
thoughts. So it seems to me now that I should proceed by set-
ting down some points here about the beginning, the means,
and the end of prayer. I shall not take time to dwell on more
sublime things. No one will be able to take from you these
books (the Our Father and the Hail Mary), and if you are eager
to learn you won't need anything else provided you are hum-
ble.5 I have always been fond of the words of the Gospels [that
have come from that most sacred mouth in the way they were
said] and found more recollection in them than in very cleverly
written books. I especially had no desire to read these books if
the author was not well approved. If, then, I draw near to this
Master of wisdom, He will perhaps teach me some worthwhile
thoughts that will please you.
I don't say that I'm going to write a commentary on these
divine prayers,6 for I wouldn't dare. Many commentaries have
been written; and even if they hadn't been, it would be absurd
for me to write one. But I will mention some thoughts on the
words of the Our Father. For sometimes, with regard to many
books, it seems we lose devotion in the very exercise in which it
is so important for us to have devotion. Clearly, when a master
teaches something he gets to love his disciple and is pleased if
The Way of Perfection Chap. 21
119
that which he teaches satisfies his pupil, and he helps him a
great deal to learn the material. The heavenly Master will do
the same with us.
5. Hence, don't pay any attention to the fears they raise or
to the picture of the dangers they paint for you. Wouldn't it be
nice if while desiring to procure a great treasure I should want
to walk without danger along a path where there are so many
robbers. It would be a pleasant world if they would let you get
the treasure in peace. But for a penny's worth of self-interest
they will go many nights without sleep and disturb you in body
and soul. For when you are about to gain the treasure — or steal
it, since the Lord says that the violent take it away7 -by a royal
road and by a safe road, the road chosen by our King and all
His elect and saints, they will tell you that there are so many
dangers and so many things to fear. How many more dangers
are there for those who think they obtain this good without
following a road?
6. Oh, my daughters! There are incomparably more
dangers for such persons, but people don't know about them
until they bump blindly into the true danger when there is no
one to give them a hand; and they lose the water entirely
without drinking either little or much — neither from a small
pool nor from a stream.
So you see, how will one journey without a drop of this water
on a road where there are so many struggles? It is clear that
when it is needed most they will not have it and will die of
thirst. Because whether we like it or not, my daughters, we
must all journey toward this fount, even though in different
ways. Well, believe me; and don't let anyone deceive you by
showing you a road other than that of prayer.
7. I am not speaking now about whether the prayer should
be mental or vocal for everyone. In your case, I say that you
need both. Such is the duty of religious. Should anyone tell you
that prayer is dangerous, consider him the real danger and run
from him. Don't forget this counsel, for perhaps you will need
it. There will be danger in not having humility and the other
virtues. But that the way of prayer be a way of danger — God
120
St. Teresa oj A vila
would never will that. It seems the devil has invented these
fears, and so he has been skillful, apparently, in making some
who have practiced prayer fall away.
8. And see how blind the world is, for they fail to consider
the many thousands who have fallen into heresies and great
evils because they didn't practice prayer but engaged in
distractions. And if in order to carry on his work better the
devil has caused, among this multitude of persons, some of
those who practiced prayer to fall, he has caused as much fear
in others about virtuous things. Those who take this reasoning
as a refuge in order to free themselves should be on their
guard, for they are running away from good in order to free
themselves from evil. Never have I seen such a wicked con-
trivance; it really seems to come from the devil. O my Lord,
defend Yourself! See how they understand Your words in
reverse. Don't permit such weaknesses in Your servants. [Hold
fast, daughters, for they cannot take from you the Our Father
and the Hail Mary.]8
9. There's one great blessing: you will always find some who
will help you, because this is a characteristic of the real servant
of God to whom His Majesty has given light concerning the
true way; in the midst of these fears the desire not to give up in-
creases within him. He understands clearly where the devil is
going to strike, flees from him and crushes his head. The devil
feels more regret over this than he does satisfaction over the
many pleasures that others give him. In a time of disturbance,
of discord caused by the devil— for it seems all are following
him half blind because they do so under the guise of zeal — God
will raise up someone to open the eyes of these half-blind peo-
ple and tell them that the devil has placed a cloud in front of
them to prevent their seeing the way. Oh, the greatness of God,
for sometimes one or two men alone can do more when they
speak the truth than many together! Little by little, souls
discover again the way; God gives them courage. If they are
told there is danger in prayer, one of these servants of God will
strive, if not in words then in deeds, to make known how good
prayer is. If they are told that frequent Communion is not
good, he will receive more frequently. Thus, since there are
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 22
121
one or two who fearlessly do what is best, the Lord at once
begins to win back gradually the ground that was lost.
10. Therefore, Sisters, give up these fears; never pay atten-
tion in like matters to the opinion of the crowd. Behold, these
are not the times to believe everyone; believe only those who
you see are walking in conformity with Christ's life. Try to
preserve a pure conscience, humility, and contempt for all
worldly things; believe firmly what Holy Mother Church holds,
and you can be sure you will be walking along a good path.
Leave aside, as I said,9 your fears where there is no reason
for fear. If someone should raise these fears to you, humbly ex-
plain the path to him. Tell him you have a rule that commands
you to pray unceasingly — for that's what it commands
us10 — and that you have to keep it. If they tell you that the
prayer should be vocal, ask, for the sake of more precision, if in
vocal prayer the mind and heart must be attentive to what you
say. If they answer "yes" — for they cannot answer other-
wise—you will see how they admit that you are forced to prac-
tice mental prayer and even experience contemplation if God
should give it to you by such a means.
Chapter 22
Explains what mental prayer is.
REALIZE, DAUGHTERS, that the nature of mental
prayer isn't determined by whether or not the mouth is
closed. If while speaking I thoroughly understand and know
that I am speaking with God and I have greater awareness of
this than I do of the words I'm saying, mental and vocal prayer
are joined. If, however, others tell you that you are speaking
with God while you are reciting the Our Father and at the same
time in fact thinking of the world, then I have nothing to say.
But if you are to be speaking, as is right, with so great a Lord,
it is good that you consider whom you are speaking with as well
as who you are, at least if you want to be polite. How can you
122
St. Teresa of A vila
call the king "your highness" or know the ceremonies to be
observed in addressing a highest ranking nobleman if you do
not clearly understand what his position is and what yours is?
For it is in conformity with these facts that you must show
respect, and in conformity with custom — because you also
need to know even the customs. If you don't know them, you
will be sent away as a simpleton and will fail to negotiate
anything. [And what's more, if you don't know these things
well, you will need to find out and even rehearse what you must
say. Once it happened to me1 that, not having been accus-
tomed to speaking with lords and ladies I had to speak with
someone who was to be addressed as your ladyship; and so they
had to show me how to say it. Since I am dull and was not used
to these titles, I didn't get it right when the time came. I decid-
ed to tell her what happened and, laughing at myself, asked
her to allow me to address her with the ordinary form "you";
and so I did.]
Well, what is this, my Lord? What is this, my Emperor? How
can it be tolerated? You are King forever, my God; Your
kingdom is not a borrowed one. When in the Creed the words,
"and His kingdom will have no end," are said, it is almost
always a special delight for me. I praise You, Lord, and bless
You forever; in sum, Your kingdom will last forever. Well
then, may You never permit, Lord, that anyone who is about
to speak to You consider it good to do so only vocally.
2. What is this, Christians, that you say mental prayer isn't
necessary? Do you understand yourselves?2 Indeed, I don't
think you do, and so you desire that we all be misled. You don't
know what mental prayer is, or how vocal prayer should be
recited, or what contemplation is, for if you did you wouldn't
on the one hand condemn what on the other hand you praise.
3. I shall always have to join mental prayer to vocal
prayer — when I remember — so that others don't frighten you,
daughters. I know how this criticism of mental prayer will end
up, for I have suffered some trials in this matter, and thus I
wouldn't want anyone to disturb you. It is harmful to walk on
this road with fear. It is very important for you to know that
you are on the right road. When a traveler is told that he has
The Way of Perfection Chap. 22
123
made a mistake and lost his way, he is made to go from one end
to another, and all his searching for the way tires him, and he
wastes time and arrives late.
Who can say that it is wrong, when we begin to recite the
Hours or the rosary, to consider whom we are going to speak
with, and who we are, so as to know how to speak with Him?
Now I tell you, Sisters, if before you begin your vocal prayer
you do the great deal that must be done in order to understand
these two points well, you will be spending a good amount of
time in mental prayer. Yes, indeed, for we must not approach
a conversation with a prince as negligently as we do one with a
farm worker, or with some poor thing like ourselves for whom
any manner of address is all right.
4. It is only right that we consider these two points since,
because of his humility, this King listens to me and lets me ap-
proach Him; and His guards do not throw me out, even though
as an uneducated person I don't know how to speak to Him.
The angels who assist Him know well the attitude of their King,
for He delights more in the unpolished manners of a humble
shepherd who He realizes would say more if he knew more than
He does in the talk of very wise and learned men, however
elegant their discourse, if they don't walk in humility. But just
because He is good doesn't mean that we should be rude. At
least, in order to thank Him for the bad odor He must endure
in consenting to allow one like myself to come near Him, we
should strive to be aware of His purity and of who He is. It's
true that upon approaching Him one understands immediate-
ly, just as with lords here below; for when they tell us who their
father was and about the millions they get in rent and of their
title of dignity, there's no more to know. In fact, here below
people in paying honor don't take into account the persons
themselves, however much these persons may deserve the
honor, but their wealth.
5. O miserable world! Praise God very much, daughters,
because you have left something so wretched, where men pay
attention not to what they have within themselves but to what
their tenant farmers and vassals have; and if these men lack
subordinates then no honor is paid them. It's something amus-
124
St. Teresa of Avila
ing to relax over when you all have to take some recreation. For
this is a good pastime: to notice how blindly those who are in
the world spend their time.
6. Oh, our Emperor, supreme Power, supreme Goodness,
Wisdom itself, without beginning, without end, without any
limit to Your works; they are infinite and incomprehensible, a
fathomless sea of marvels, with a beauty containing all beauty,
strength itself! Oh, God help me, who might possess here all
human eloquence and wisdom together in order to know how
to explain clearly — insofar as is possible here below, because in
this case all knowledge is equivalent to knowing nothing— a
number of the many things we can consider in order to have
some knowledge of who this Lord and Good of ours is!
7. Yes, bring yourselves to consider and understand whom
you are speaking with, or, as you approach, with whom you are
about to speak. In a thousand lives we would never completely
understand the way in which this Lord deserves that we speak
with Him, for the angels tremble before Him. He commands
all; He can do all; for Him, to will is to do. Well then, it is only
right, daughters, that we try to delight in these grandeurs our
Spouse possesses and that we understand whom we are wedded
to and what kind of life we must live. Oh, God help me, here
below before getting married a person will know the other par-
ty, who he is and what he possesses. We are already betrothed
and before the wedding must be brought to His house. Here
below they don't try to make those who are betrothed renounce
such thoughts. Why should they try to prevent us from think-
ing about who this man is, who His Father is, what country He
is going to bring me to, what good things He promises to give
me, what His status is, how I can make Him happy, and in
what ways I can please Him, and from studying how I can con-
form my way of life to His? Now if a woman is to be happily
married, she must, according to the advice she receives, strive
for this conformity even though her husband is a man of lowly
estate.
8. Well, my Spouse, must they in everything pay less atten-
tion to You than to men? If paying more attention to You
doesn't seem right to them, let them at least leave Your brides
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 23
125
alone, for these latter must live their lives with You. Indeed,
their life is a good one. If a spouse is so jealous that he doesn't
want his bride to talk to anyone, it would be a fine thing if she
didn't think about how she might please him in this matter and
the reason she has for putting up with this jealousy and for
wanting to avoid speaking with another since in him she has all
that she could want!
This is mental prayer, my daughters: to understand these
truths. If you should want to grow in understanding these
things and pray vocally, well and good. You should not be
thinking of other things while speaking with God, for doing so
amounts to not knowing what mental prayer is. I believe the
matter has been explained. May it please the Lord that we
know how to put it into practice. Amen.3
Chapter 23
Treats of how important it is for one who has begun the path of
prayer not to turn back and speaks once more of the great
value that lies in beginning with determination.
WELL NOW, I SAY there are so many reasons why it
is extremely important to begin with great determina-
tion that I would have to go on at much length if I mentioned
them all. Sisters, I want to mention only two or three.
One is that if we resolve to give something, that is, this little
care, to someone who has given so much to us and continually
gives — giving this little care is certainly to our advantage and
we thereby gain so many wonderful things — there is no reason
for failing to give with complete determination. There's no
reason for being like the lender who gives something with the
intention of getting it back again. Lending doesn't seem to me
to amount to giving; rather, there is always some displeasure
felt by the borrower when the object is taken back, especially if
he needs it and has already used it as his own, or if the lender is
126
St. Teresa of A vzla
his friend, or if the borrower has given the lender many gifts
without any self-seeking. The borrower would rightly think
there was very little love in the lender who won't even let him
keep a little thing, not even as a sign of love.
2. What bride is there who in receiving many valuable
jewels from her bridegroom will refuse to give him even a ring,
not because of what it is worth, for everything belongs to him,
but to give it as a pledge that she will be his until death? Does
this Lord deserve less, that we should mock Him by giving and
then taking back the trifle that we gave Him? But this little bit
of time that we resolve to give Him, which we spend on
ourselves and on someone who will not thank us for it, let us
give to Him, since we desire to do so, with our thoughts free of
other things and unoccupied by them. And let us be wholly
determined never to take it back from Him, neither because of
trials on this account, nor because of contradictions, nor
because of dryness. I should consider the time of prayer as not
belonging to me and think that He can ask it of me in justice
when I do not want to give it wholly to Him.
3. In saying "wholly," I do not mean that abandoning it for
a day or for a few days on account of some just occupations or
because of some indisposition is the equivalent of taking it
back. Let the intention be firm; my God is not at all touchy;
He doesn't bother about trifling things. Thus you will have
something to be grateful for; this intention amounts to giving
something. As for others, for anyone who is not generous but so
stingy that he doesn't have the spirit of giving, it is enough for
them to lend. In the end, one who lends does do something,
and this Lord of ours takes everything into account. He adjusts
Himself to our way of giving. In taking account of us, He is not
at all petty, but generous. However great our debt may be, He
finds it easy to pardon; but when there is a question of His
repaying us, He's so careful that you need have no fear. Just the
raising of our eyes in remembrance of Him will have its reward.
4. Another reason for beginning with determination is that
the devil will not then have so free a hand to tempt. He's ex-
tremely afraid of determined souls, for he has experienced the
The Way of Perfection Chap. 23
127
great harm they do him. And all the harm he plans to do them
turns out to their benefit and to that of others as well; and he
comes out with a loss. But we should not be careless or trust in
this fact, for we are dealing with traitors, and they don't dare
attack so often those who are well prepared; they are very
cowardly. But if the devil should see carelessness, he would do
great harm. And if he knows that someone is changeable and
unstable in being good and not strongly determined to
persevere, he will keep after him day and night; he will cause
fears and never-ending obstacles. I know this very well through
experience, and that's why I'm able to say, and do say, that no
one knows how important determination is.
5. The other reason for beginning with determination
is — and it is very much to the point — that the person who does
so struggles more courageously. He knows that come what may
he will not turn back. As in the case of one who is in a battle,
he knows that if he is conquered they won't spare him his life
and that if he doesn't die in battle he will die afterward. He
struggles with greater determination and wants to fight like a
desperado — as they say— and he doesn't fear the blows so
much, because he is convinced of how important victory is and
that for him to conquer is to live. It's also necessary to begin
with the assurance that if we don't let ourselves be conquered,
we will obtain our goal; this without a doubt, for no matter
how small the gain, one will end up being very rich. Don't be
afraid that the Lord will leave you to die of thirst, for He calls
us to drink from this fount.1 I have already said this2 and
would like to say it many times, for the devil intimidates per-
sons who don't yet fully know the goodness of the Lord through
experience, even though they know it through faith. But it is a
great thing to have experienced the friendship and favor He
shows toward those who journey on this road and how He takes
care of almost all the expenses.
6. I'm not surprised that those who have not experienced
this want the assurance of some gain for themselves. Well, you
already know there is the hundredfold even in this life3 and
that the Lord says, "ask, and you will receive."4 If you don't
believe His Majesty in the sections of His gospel that insure this
128
St. Teresa of Avila
gain, it will be of little benefit, Sisters, for me to break my head
in trying to tell you about it. Nevertheless, I say that should
anyone have some doubt little would be lost in trying the
journey of prayer; for this journey brings with it the following
good: more is given than is asked for, beyond what we could
desire. This is absolutely true; I know. And those of you who
know it by experience, through the goodness of God, can be
my witnesses.5
Chapter 24
How vocal prayer must be recited with perfection, and mental
prayer joined with it.
NOW, THEN, LET US SPEAK AGAIN1 to those souls I
mentioned that cannot recollect or tie their minds down
in mental prayer or engage in reflection. Let's not mention
here by name these two things, since you are not meant to
follow such a path. As a matter of fact there are many persons
seemingly terrified by the mere term "mental prayer" or "con-
templation," and perhaps one of these might come to this
house, for as I have also said2 not everyone walks by the same
path.
2. Well what I now want to counsel you about (I can even
say teach you, because as a Mother, having the office of
prioress, I'm allowed to teach) is how you must pray vocally,
for it's only right that you should understand what you're say-
ing. And because it can happen that those who are unable to
think about God may also find long prayers tiring, I don't want
to concern myself with these. But I will speak of those prayers
we are obliged as Christians to recite (such as, the Our Father
and the Hail Mary) so that people won't be able to say of us
that we speak and don't understand what we're speaking
about — unless we think it is enough for us to follow the practice
in which merely pronouncing the words is sufficient. I'm not
concerned with whether this is sufficient or not; learned men
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 24
129
will explain [the matter to those persons to whom God gives
light to ask the question. And I'm not meddling with what
doesn't belong to our state.] What I would like us to do,
daughters, is refuse to be satisfied with merely pronouncing the
words. For when I say, "I believe," it seems to me right that I
should know and understand what I believe. And when I say,
"Our Father," it will be an act of love to understand who this
Father of ours is and who the Master is who taught us this
prayer.
3. If you reply that you already know this and that there is
no reason to recall it, you are wrong. There is a large dif-
ference in teachers; but it is even a great misfortune if we
forget those who teach us here below. Especially, if they are
saints and spiritual masters and we are good disciples, it is im-
possible to forget them [but we love them very much and even
take pride in them and often speak of them.] Well, God never
allows us to forget the Master who taught us this prayer, and
with so much love and desire that it benefit us. He wants us to
remember Him often when we say the prayer, even though
because of our weakness we do not remember Him always.
4. Now with regard to vocal prayer you already know that
His Majesty teaches that it be recited in solitude.3 This is what
He always did when He prayed,4 and not out of any need of His
own but for our instruction. It has already been mentioned5
that one cannot speak simultaneously to God and to the world;
this would amount to nothing more than reciting the prayer
while listening to what is being said elsewhere or to letting the
mind wander and making no effort to control it. There can be
exceptions at times either because of bad humors — especially if
the person is melancholic — or because of faint feelings in the
head so that all efforts become useless. Or it can happen that
God will permit days of severe temptation in his servants for
their greater good. And though in their affliction they are
striving to be quiet, they cannot even be attentive to what they
are saying, no matter how hard they try; nor will the intellect
settle down in anything, but by the disordered way it goes
about, it will seem to be in a frenzy.
5. Whoever experiences the affliction these distractions
130
St. Teresa of A vtla
cause will see that they are not his fault; he should not grow
anxious, which makes things worse, or tire himself trying to put
order into something that at the time doesn't have any, that is,
his mind. He should just pray as best he can; or even not pray,
but like a sick person strive to bring some relief to his soul; let
him occupy himself in other works of virtue. This advice now is
for persons who are careful and who have understood that they
must not speak simultaneously to both God and the world.
What we ourselves can do is to strive to be alone; and please
God it will suffice, as I say, that we understand to whom we are
speaking and the answer the Lord makes to our petitions. Do
you think He is silent? Even though we do not hear Him, He
speaks well to the heart when we beseech Him from the heart.
And it is good for us to consider that He taught this prayer to
each of us and that He is showing it to us; the teacher is never
so far from his pupil that he has to shout, but he is very close. I
want you to understand that it is good for you, if you are to
recite the Our Father well, to remain at the side of the Master
who taught this prayer to you.
6. You will say that doing so involves reflection and that you
neither can nor want to pray any other way but vocally; for
there are also impatient persons who like to avoid any suffer-
ing. Since such individuals do not have the habit, it is difficult
for them to recollect their minds in the beginning; and so as to
avoid a little fatigue, they say they neither can nor know how to
do anything else than pray vocally.
You are right in saying that this vocal prayer is now in fact
mental prayer. But I tell you that surely I don't know how men-
tal prayer can be separated from vocal prayer if the vocal
prayer is to be recited well with an understanding of whom we
are speaking to. It is even an obligation that we strive to pray
with attention. Please God that with these remedies we shall
recite the Our Father well and not end up in some other irrele-
vant thing. I have experienced this sometimes, and the best
remedy I find is to strive to center the mind upon the one to
whom the words are addressed. So, be patient and strive to
make a habit out of something that is so necessary [if you are to
be good nuns, and even pray as good Christians, in my opinion.]
The Way of Perfection Chap. 25
131
Chapter 25
Tells how much the soul gains through a perfect recitation of
vocal prayer and how God happens to raise it from this prayer
to supernatural things.
TO KEEP YOU FROM THINKING that little is gained
through a perfect recitation of vocal prayer, I tell you
that it is very possible that while you are reciting the Our
Father or some other vocal prayer, the Lord may raise you to
perfect contemplation. By these means His Majesty shows that
He listens to the one who speaks to Him. And it is His grandeur
that speaks to the soul, suspending one's intellect, binding
one's imagination, and, as they say, taking the words from
one's mouth; for even though the soul may want to do so, it
cannot speak unless with great difficulty.
2. The soul understands that without the noise of words this
divine Master is teaching it by suspending its faculties, for if
they were to be at work they would do harm rather than bring
benefit. They are enjoying without understanding how they
are enjoying. The soul is being enkindled in love, and it doesn't
understand how it loves. It knows that it enjoys what it loves,
but it doesn't know how. It clearly understands that this joy is
not a joy the intellect obtains merely through desire. The will is
enkindled without understanding how. But as soon as it can
understand something, it sees that this good cannot be merited
or gained through all the trials one can suffer on earth. This
good is a gift from the Lord of earth and heaven, who, in sum,
gives according to who He is. What I have described,
daughters, is perfect contemplation.
3. Now you will understand the difference that lies between
perfect contemplation and mental prayer. Mental prayer con-
sists of what was explained: being aware and knowing that we
are speaking, with whom we are speaking, and who we
ourselves are who dare to speak so much with so great a Lord.
To think about this and other similar things, of how little we
have served Him and how much we are obliged to serve Him, is
132
St. Teresa of Avila
mental prayer. Don't think it amounts to some other kind of
gibberish, and don't let the name frighten you.
To recite the Our Father or the Hail Mary or whatever
prayer you wish is vocal prayer. But behold what poor music
you produce when you do this without mental prayer. Even the
words will be poorly pronounced at times. In these two kinds of
prayer we can do something ourselves, with the help of God. In
the contemplation I now mentioned, we can do nothing; His
Majesty is the one who does everything, for it is His work and
above our nature.
4. Since I explained contemplation very much at length and
as best I could in the account of my life that I said I wrote for
my confessors1 — for they had ordered me to write that ac-
count — I will not speak of contemplation here or do any more
than touch upon it. Those of you who have been so fortunate
as to be brought by the Lord to the state of contemplation
may, if you can get that account, find there some advice and
counsel which God granted that I be able to give; it will be very
consoling and beneficial to you. This is what I think, and so do
some of those who have seen it — for they have the account in
order to make a judgment about it. What shame I feel in tell-
ing you that you should pay attention to something I have
done, and the Lord knows the embarrassment with which I
write much of what I write. May He be blessed for so putting
up with me! Those of you who, as I say, experience super-
natural prayer may obtain that account after my death; those
of you who do not, need not worry about obtaining it but only
about striving after what is contained in this present book and
leave the rest to God; for it is He who must bestow supernatural
prayer, and He will grant it to you if you do not stop short on
the road but try hard until you reach the end.2
The Way of Perfection -Chap. 26
133
Chapter 26
Explains a method for recollecting one's mind. Sets down some
ways of doing this. The chapter is very useful for beginners in
prayer.
NOW THEN LET US RETURN to our vocal prayer that it
may be so recited that, without our being aware of the
fact, God may grant us everything together and also enable us
to say vocal prayers as we should, as I have mentioned.1
As is already known, the examination of conscience, the act
of contrition, and the sign of the cross must come first. Then,
daughters, since you are alone, strive to find a companion.
Well what better companion than the Master Himself who
taught you this prayer? Represent the Lord Himself as close to
you and behold how lovingly and humbly He is teaching you.
Believe me, you should remain with so good a friend as long as
you can. If you grow accustomed to having Him present at your
side, and He sees that you do so with love and that you go about
striving to please Him, you will not be able — as they say — to get
away from Him; He will never fail you; He will help you in all
your trials; you will find Him everywhere. Do you think it's
some small matter to have a friend like this at your side?
2. O Sisters, those of you who cannot engage in much
discursive reflection with the intellect or keep your mind from
distraction, get used to this practice! Get used to it! See, I know
that you can do this; for I suffered many years from the
trial and it is a very great one — of not being able to quiet the
mind in anything. But I know that the Lord does not leave us
so abandoned; for if we humbly ask Him for this friendship, He
will not deny it to us. And if we cannot succeed in one year, we
will succeed later. Let's not regret the time that is so well spent.
Who's making us hurry? I am speaking of acquiring this habit
and of striving to walk alongside this true Master.
3. I'm not asking you now that you think about Him or that
you draw out a lot of concepts or make long and subtle reflec-
134
St. Teresa of Avila
tions with your intellect. I'm not asking you to do anything
more than look at Him. For who can keep you from turning the
eyes of your soul toward this Lord, even if you do so just for a
moment if you can't do more? You can look at very ugly things;
won't you be able to look at the most beautiful thing im-
aginable? Well now, daughters, your Spouse never takes His
eyes off you. He has suffered your committing a thousand ugly
offenses and abominations against Him, and this suffering
wasn't enough for Him to cease looking at you. Is it too much
to ask you to turn your eyes from these exterior things in order
to look at Him sometimes? Behold, He is not waiting for
anything else, as He says to the bride,2 than that we look at
Him. In the measure you desire Him, you will find Him. He so
esteems our turning to look at Him that no diligence will be
lacking on His part.
4. They say that for a woman to be a good wife toward her
husband she must be sad when he is sad, and joyful when he is
joyful, even though she may not be so. (See what subjection you
have been freed from, Sisters!) The Lord, without deception,
truly acts in such a way with us. He is the one who submits, and
He wants you to be the lady with authority to rule; He submits to
your will. If you are joyful, look at Him as risen. Just imagining
how He rose from the tomb will bring you joy. The brilliance!
The beauty! The majesty! How victorious! How joyful! Indeed,
like one coming forth from a battle where he has gained a great
kingdom! And all of that, plus Himself, He desires for you.
Well, is it such a big thing that from time to time you turn your
eyes to look upon one who gives you so much?
5. If you are experiencing trials or are sad, behold Him on
the way to the garden: what great affliction He bore in His
soul; for having become suffering itself, He tells us about it and
complains of it. Or behold Him bound to the column, filled
with pain, with all His flesh torn in pieces for the great love He
bears you; so much suffering, persecuted by some, spit on by
others, denied by His friends, abandoned by them, with no one
to defend Him, frozen from the cold, left so alone that you can
console each other. Or behold Him burdened with the cross,
for they didn't even let Him take a breath. He will look at you
The Way of Perfection Chap. 26
135
with those eyes so beautiful and compassionate, filled with
tears; He will forget His sorrows so as to console you in yours,
merely because you yourselves go to Him to be consoled, and
you turn your head to look at Him.
6. O Lord of the world, my true Spouse! (You can say this to
Him if He has moved your heart to pity at seeing Him thus, for
not only will you desire to look at Him but you will also delight
in speaking with Him, not with ready-made prayers but with
those that come from the sorrow of your own heart, for He
esteems them highly.) Are You so in need, my Lord and my
Love, that You would want to receive such poor company as
mine, for I see by Your expression that You have been consoled
by me? Well then, how is it Lord that the angels leave You and
that even Your Father doesn't console You? If it's true, Lord,
that You want to endure everything for me, what is this that I
suffer for You? Of what am I complaining? I am already
ashamed, since I have seen You in such a condition. I desire to
suffer, Lord, all the trials that come to me and esteem them as
a great good enabling me to imitate You in something. Let us
walk together, Lord. Wherever You go, I will go;J whatever
you suffer, I will suffer.
7. Take up that cross, daughters. Don't mind at all if the
Jews trample upon you, if His trial can thereby be lessened.
Pay no attention to what they say to you, be deaf to their
gossip. In stumbling, in falling with your Spouse, do not
withdraw from the cross or abandon it. Consider carefully the
fatigue with which He walks and how much greater His trials
are than those trials you suffer, however great you may want to
paint them and no matter how much you grieve over them.
You will come out consoled because you will see that they are
something to be laughed at when compared to those of the
Lord.
8. You will ask, Sisters, how you can do this, saying that if
you had seen His Majesty with your bodily eyes at the time He
walked in this world that you would have looked at Him very
willingly and done so always. Don't believe it. Whoever doesn't
want to use a little effort now to recollect at least the sense of
sight and look at this Lord within herself (for one can do so
136
St. Teresa of Avila
without danger but with just a little care) would have been
much less able to stay at the foot of the cross with the
Magdalene, who saw His death with her own eyes. But how
much the glorious Virgin and this blessed saint must have suf-
fered! How many threats, how many wicked words, how much
shoving about and rudeness! For the people around them were
not exactly what we would call courteous! No, thev were people
from hell, ministers of the devil. Indeed, what these two suf-
fered must have been terrible; but in the presence of another
greater affliction they didn't feel their own.
So, Sisters, don't think you are capable of such great trials if
you are not capable of such little ones. By exercising yourselves
in these little trials, you will come to be able to suffer other
greater ones. [And believe that I am speaking the truth in say-
ing that you can speak with Him, for I have passed through this
difficulty.]
9. What you can do as a help in this matter is try to carry
about an image or painting of this Lord that is to your liking,
not so as to carry it about on your heart and never look at it but
so as to speak often with Him; for He will inspire you with what
to say. Since you speak with other persons, why must words fail
you more when you speak with God? Don't believe they will; at
least I will not believe they will if you acquire the habit. Other-
wise, the failure to communicate with a person causes both
estrangement and a failure to know how to speak with him. For
it seems then that we don't know him, even if he may be a
relative; family ties and friendship are lost through a lack of
communication.
10. It is also a great help to take a good book written in the
vernacular in order to recollect one's thoughts and pray well
vocally, and little by little accustom the soul with coaxing and
skill not to grow discouraged. Imagine that many years have
passed since the soul left the house of its Spouse and that until
it returns to this house there's a great need that it know how to
deal with Him. For so we sinners are: our soul and our thoughts
are so accustomed to wandering about at their own plea-
sure or grief, to put it better — that the poor soul doesn't
understand itself. In order that it get to love remaining at
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 27
137
home once again, a great deal of skill is necessary. If little by
little this is not accomplished, we shall never do anything.
And I again assure you that if with care you grow accus-
tomed to what I have said4 your gain will be so great that even
if I wanted to explain this to you I wouldn't know how. Draw
near, then, to this good Master with strong determination to
learn what He teaches you, and His Majesty will so provide that
you will turn out to be good disciples. He will not abandon you
if you do not abandon Him. Consider the words that divine
mouth speaks, for in the first word you will understand im-
mediately the love He has for you; it is no small blessing and
gift for the disciple to see that his Master loves him.
Chapter 27
Deals with the great love our Lord showed us in the first words
of the Our Father and how important it is for those who truly
want to be children of God to pay no attention whatsoever to
lineage.
OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN.1 O my Lord, how
You do show Yourself to be the Father of such a Son; and
how Your Son does show Himself to be the Son of such a
Father! May You be blessed forever and ever! This favor would
not be so great, Lord, if it came at the end of the prayer. But
at the beginning, You fill our hands and give a reward so large
that it would easily fill the intellect and thus occupy the will in
such a way one would be unable to speak a word.
Oh, daughters, how readily should perfect contemplation
come at this point! Oh, how right it would be for the soul to
enter within itself in order to rise the better above itself2 that
this holy Son might make it understand the nature of the place
where He says His Father dwells, which is in the heavens. Let
us go forth from the earth, my daughters, for there is no reason
that a favor like this should be so little esteemed, that after we
have understood how great it is, we should still want to remain
on earth.
138
St. Teresa of Avila
2. O Son of God and my Lord! How is it that You give so
much all together in the first words? Since You humble
Yourself to such an extreme in joining with us in prayer and
making Yourself the Brother of creatures so lowly and wretch-
ed, how is it that You give us in the name of Your Father
everything that can be given? For You desire that He consider
us His children, because Your word cannot fail.3 You oblige
Him to be true to Your word, which is no small burden since in
being Father He must bear with us no matter how serious the
offenses. If we return to Him like the prodigal son, He has to
pardon us.4 He has to console us in our trials. He has to sustain
us in the way a father like this must. For, in effect, He must be
better than all the fathers in the world because in Him
everything must be faultless. And after all this He must make
us sharers and heirs with You.5
3. Behold, my Lord, that since with the love You bear us
and with Your humility, nothing will stop you ... in sum,
Lord, You are on earth and clothed with it. Since You possess
our nature, it seems You have some reason to look to our gain.
But behold, Your Father is in heaven. You Yourself said so. It
is right that You look to His honor. Since You have vowed to
undergo disgrace for us, leave Your Father free. Don't oblige
Him to do so much for a people so wretched, like myself, who
will not thank You properly [and there are no others who will
do better.]
4. O good Jesus! How clearly You have shown that You are
one with Him, and that Your will is His and His, Yours!6 How
clear your declaration, my Lord! How magnificent it is, the
love You bear us! You made use of roundabout ways, hiding
from the devil the fact that You are the Son of God; and with
the great desire You have for our good, nothing was able to
stop You from granting us so very great a favor. Who could
have done it but You, Lord? I don't know how the devil failed
to understand in these words who You were, and had doubts
about it. At least I see it clearly, my Jesus. You have spoken, as
a favored son, for Yourself and for us; and You are powerful
enough so that what You say on earth will be done in heaven.
The Way of Perfection Chap. 27
139
May You be blessed forever, my Lord, for You are so willing to
give that nothing will stop You from doing so.
5. Well, daughters, doesn't it seem to you that this Master is
a good one, since in order to make us grow fond of learning
what He teaches us He begins by granting us so wonderful a
favor? Does it seem right to you now that even though we recite
these first words vocally we should fail to let our intellects
understand and our hearts break in pieces at seeing such love?
What son is there in the world who doesn't strive to learn who
his father is when he knows he has such a good one with so
much majesty and power? If our Father had not so much ma-
jesty, it wouldn't surprise me if we refused to be known as His
children. The world has come to such a state that if the father
is of a lower status than his son, the son doesn't feel honored in
recognizing him as his father.
6. Such an attitude doesn't belong here. In this house,
please God, may there never be any thought about such a
thing; it would be a hell. But the one who is from nobler
lineage should be the one to speak least about her father. All
the Sisters must be equal.
O college of Christ, where St. Peter, being a fisherman, had
more authority — and the Lord wanted it so— than St. Bar-
tholomew, who was a king's son!7 His Majesty knew what would
take place in the world where people dispute over lineage.
These disputes in reality amount to nothing much more than a
debate about whether the mud is better for making bricks or
adobes. God help me, what a great trial we bear! God deliver
us, Sisters, from similar disputes, even though they be in jest; I
hope in His Majesty that He will do so. When this concern
about lineage is noticed in a Sister, apply a remedy at once and
let her fear lest she be Judas among the apostles. Give her
penances until she understands that she doesn't deserve to be
thought of as made from even a very wretched kind of mud.8
You have a good Father, for He gives you the good Jesus. Let
no one in this house speak of any other father but Him. And
strive, my daughters, so to behave that you will deserve to find
your delight in Him; and cast yourselves into His arms. You
140
5/. Teresa of Avila
already know that He will not reject you if you are good
daughters. Who, then, would fail to strive so as not to lose such
a Father?
7. Oh, God help me! How much there is in these words to
give you consolation. So as not to enlarge any more on this
matter, I want to leave it to your own reflection. For no matter
how unruly one's mind may be, the truth is leaving aside our
gain in having so good a Father — that the Holy Spirit must be
present between such a Son and such a Father, and He will
enkindle your will and bind it with a very great love.
Chapter 28
Explains the nature of the prayer of recollection and sets down
some ways of getting accustomed to this form of prayer.
NOW CONSIDER WHAT YOUR MASTER SAYS: Who art
in heaven. 1 Do you think it's of little importance to know
what heaven is and where you must seek your most sacred
Father? Well, I tell you that for wandering minds it is very im-
portant not only to believe these truths but to strive to under-
stand them by experience. Doing this is one of the ways of
greatly slowing down the mind and recollecting the soul.
2. You already know that God is everywhere. It's obvious,
then, that where the king is there is his court; in sum, wherever
God is, there is heaven. Without a doubt you can believe that
where His Majesty is present, all glory is present. Consider what
St. Augustine says, that he sought Him in many places but
found Him ultimately within himself.2 Do you think it matters
little for a soul with a wandering mind to understand this truth
and see that there is no need to go to heaven in order to speak
with one's Eternal Father or find delight in Him? Nor is there
any need to shout. However softly we speak, He is near enough
to hear us. Neither is there any need for wings to go to find
Him.3 All one need do is go into solitude and look at Him
The Way of Perfection Chap. 28
141
within oneself, and not turn away from so good a Guest but
with great humility speak to Him as to a father. Beseech Him
as you would a father; tell Him about your trials; ask Him for a
remedy against them, realizing that you are not worthy to be
His daughter.
3. Leave aside any of that faintheartedness that some per-
sons have and think is humility. You see, humility doesn't con-
sist in refusing a favor the King offers you but in accepting such
a favor and understanding how bountifully it comes to you and
being delighted with it. What a nice kind of humility! I have
the Emperor of heaven and earth in my house (for He comes to
it in order to favor me and be happy with me), and out of
humility I do not want to answer Him or stay with Him or take
what He gives me, but I leave Him alone. Or, while He is tell-
ing me and begging me to ask Him for something, I do not do
so but remain poor; and I even let Him go, for He sees that I
never finish trying to make up my mind.
Have nothing to do with this kind of humility, daughters,
but speak with Him as with a father, or a brother, or a lord, or
as with a spouse; sometimes in one way, at other times in
another; He will teach you what you must do in order to please
Him. Don't be foolish; take Him at His word. Since He is your
Spouse, He will treat you accordingly. [Consider that it is well
worthwhile for you to have understood this truth: that the
Lord is within us, and that there we must be with Him.]
4. The intellect is recollected much more quickly with this
kind of prayer even though it may be vocal; it is a prayer that
brings with it many blessings. This prayer is called "recollec-
tion," because the soul collects its faculties together and enters
within itself to be with its God. And its divine Master comes
more quickly to teach it and give it the prayer of quiet than He
would through any other method it might use. For centered
there within itself, it can think about the Passion and represent
the Son and offer Him to the Father and not tire the intellect
by going to look for Him on Mount Calvary or in the garden or
at the pillar.
5. Those who by such a method can enclose themselves
142
St. Teresa of Avila
within this little heaven of our soul, where the Maker of heaven
and earth is present, and grow accustomed to refusing to be
where the exterior senses in their distraction have gone or look
in that direction should believe they are following an excellent
path and that they will not fail to drink water from the fount;
for they will journey far in a short time. Their situation is like
that of a person who travels by ship; with a little wind he
reaches the end of his journey in a few days. But those who go
by land take longer. [It's the path of heaven. I say "of heaven,"
because they are there in the palace of the King; they are not
on earth and are more secure against many occasions.]
6. Those who know how to recollect themselves are already
out to sea, as they say. For even though they may not have got
completely away from land, they do what they can during that
time to get free from it by recollecting their senses within. If
the recollection is true, it is felt very clearly; for it produces
some effect in the soul. I don't know how to explain it.
Whoever has experienced it will understand; the soul is like one
who gets up from the table after winning a game, for it already
sees what the things of the world are. It rises up at the best
time, as one who enters a fortified castle to be safe from
enemies. There is a withdrawing of the senses from exterior
things and a renunciation of them in such a way that, without
one's realizing it, the eyes close so as to avoid seeing them and
so that the sight might be more awake to things of the soul.
So, anyone who walks by this path keeps his eyes closed
almost as often as he prays. This is a praiseworthy custom for
many reasons. It is a striving so as not to look at things here
below. This striving comes at the beginning; afterward, there's
no need to strive; a greater effort is needed to open the eyes
while praying. It seems the soul is aware of being strengthened
and fortified at the expense of the body, that it leaves the body
alone and weakened, and that it receives in this recollection a
supply of provisions to strengthen it against the body.
7. And even though it isn't aware of this at the beginning,
since the recollection is not so deep — for there are greater and
lesser degrees of recollection — the soul should get used to this
recollection; although in the beginning the body causes dif-
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 28
143
ficulty because it claims its rights without realizing that it is
cutting off its own head by not surrendering. If we make the ef-
fort, practice this recollection for some days, and get used to it,
the gain will be clearly seen; we will understand, when begin-
ning to pray, that the bees are approaching and entering the
beehive to make honey. And this recollection will be effected
without our effort because the Lord has desired that, during
the time the faculties are drawn inward, the soul and its will
may merit to have this dominion. When the soul does no more
than give a sign that it wishes to be recollected, the senses obey
it and become recollected. Even though they go out again
afterward, their having already surrendered is a great thing;
for they go out as captives and subjects and do not cause the
harm they did previously. And when the will calls them back
again, they come more quickly, until after many of these entries
the Lord wills that they rest entirely in perfect contemplation.
8. May what has been said be well understood; even though
it seems obscure, it will be understood by anyone who desires to
practice it.
Therefore, those who know how to recollect themselves are
like those who travel by sea; and since it is important for us not
to proceed so slowly, let us speak a little about how we should
get accustomed to a method that's so good. These souls are
safer from many occasions. The fire of divine love is more
quickly enkindled when they blow a little with their intellects.
Since they are close to the fire, a little spark will ignite and set
everything ablaze. Because there is no impediment from out-
side, the soul is alone with its God; it is well prepared for this
enkindling. [I would like you to understand clearly this manner
of prayer, which, as I have said, is called recollection.]
9. Well, let us imagine that within us is an extremely rich
palace, built entirely of gold and precious stones; in sum, built
for a lord such as this. Imagine, too, as is indeed so, that you
have a part to play in order for the palace to be so beautiful;
for there is no edifice as beautiful as is a soul pure and full of
virtues. The greater the virtues the more resplendent the
jewels. Imagine, also, that in this palace dwells this mighty
King who has been gracious enough to become your Father;
144
St. Teresa of A vtla
and that He is seated upon an extremely valuable throne,
which is your heart.
10. This may seem trifling at the beginning; I mean, this
image I've used in order to explain recollection. But the image
may be very helpful — to you especially — for since we women
have no learning, all of this imagining is necessary that we may
truly understand that within us lies something incomparably
more precious than what we see outside ourselves. Let's not im-
agine that we are hollow inside. And please God it may be only
women that go about forgetful of this inner richness and beau-
ty. I consider it impossible for us to pay so much attention to
worldly things if we take the care to remember we have a Guest
such as this within us, for we then see how lowly these things
are next to what we possess within ourselves. Well, what else
does an animal do upon seeing what is pleasing to its sight than
satisfy its hunger by taking the prey? Indeed, there should be
some difference between them and us.
11. You will laugh at me, perhaps, and say that what I'm
explaining is very clear, and you'll be right; for me, though, it
was obscure for some time. I understood well that I had a soul.
But what this soul deserved and who dwelt within it I did not
understand because I had covered my eyes with the vanities of
the world. For, in my opinion, if I had understood as I do now
that in this little palace of my soul dwelt so great a King, I
would not have left Him alone so often. I would have remained
with Him at times and striven more so as not to be so unclean.
But what a marvelous thing, that He who would fill a thousand
worlds and many more with His grandeur would enclose
Himself in something so small! [And so He wanted to enclose
Himself in the womb of His most Blessed Mother.] In fact,
since He is Lord He is free to do what He wants, and since He
loves us He adapts Himself to our size.
12. So that the soul won't be disturbed in the beginning by
seeing that it is too small to have something so great within
itself, the Lord doesn't give it this knowledge until He enlarges
it little by little and it has the capacity to receive what He will
place within it. For this reason I say He is free to do what He
wants since He has the power to make this palace a large one.
The Way of Perfection Chap. 29
145
The whole point is that we should give ourselves to Him with
complete determination, and we should empty the soul in such
a way that He can store things there or take them away as
though it were His own property. And since His Majesty has
the rights of ownership, let us not oppose Him. [Even here
below guests in the house are a bother when we cannot tell
them to leave.] And since He doesn't force our will, He takes
what we give Him; but He doesn't give Himself completely un-
til we give ourselves completely.
This fact is certain; and because it is so important, I bring it
to your minds so often. He never works in the soul as He does
when it is totally His without any obstacle, nor do I see how He
could. He is the friend of all good order. Now, then, if we fill
the palace with lowly people and trifles, how will there be room
for the Lord with His court? He does enough by remaining just
a little while in the midst of so much confusion.
13. Do you think, daughters, that He comes alone? Don't
you see that His Son says, "who art in heaven"? Well, since He
is such a King, certainly His court attendants would never leave
Him alone, but they will always be with Him; and they beseech
Him on our behalf since they are full of charity. Don't think
that things in heaven are like they are here below; for if here
below a lord or prelate, because of certain of his own aims or
because he wants to, favors someone, the envy of others is im-
mediately stirred, and that poor person is hated without having
done anything against them.
Chapter 29
Continues to present means for obtaining this prayer of
recollection. How little it should matter to us whether or not we
are favored by the bishop.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, daughters, don't bother about
being favored by lords or prelates. Let each nun strive to
do what she ought; if the bishop doesn't show gratitude for what
146
St. Teresa of Avila
she does, she can be sure that the Lord will repay and be
grateful for it. Indeed, we have not come here to seek a reward
in this life. Let us always direct our thoughts to what is lasting
and pay no attention to things here below, for even though our
lives are short these preferences do not last for us. Today the
bishop will favor one Sister, and tomorrow he will favor you if
he sees one virtue more in you; and if he doesn't favor you, it
matters little. Give no room to these thoughts. Sometimes they
begin in a small way, but they can become very disturbing to
you. Cut them off with the thought that your kingdom is not
here below and of how quickly all things come to an end.
2. But even this kind of remedy is a lowly one and not in-
dicative of great perfection. It is better that this disfavor of
your superior continue, that you be unappreciated and hum-
bled, and that you accept this for the Lord who is with you.
Turn your eyes inward and look within yourself, as has been
said.1 You will find your Master, for He will not fail you;
rather, the less you have of exterior consolation the more He
will favor you. He is very merciful, and He never fails persons
who are afflicted and despised if they trust in Him alone. So,
David says that the Lord is with the afflicted.2 Either you
believe this or you don't. If you believe it, then why are you kill-
ing yourselves?
3. O my Lord, if we truly knew You we wouldn't care at all
about anything, for You give much to those who sincerely want
to trust in You! Believe, my friends, that it is a great thing to
have knowledge of this truth so that you can then see that all
favors here below are a lie when they divert the soul somewhat
from entering within itself. Oh, God help me, who will make
you understand this! Certainly, not I; for I know that I, who
more than anyone should understand, have not succeeded in
understanding it as it should be understood.
4. Now to return to what I was saying.3 I would like to know
a way of explaining how this holy fellowship with our Com-
panion, the Saint of saints, may be experienced without any
hindrance to the solitude enjoyed between the soul and its
Spouse when the soul desires to enter this paradise within itself
to be with its God and close the door to all the world. I say
The Way of Perfection Chap. 29
147
"desires" because you must understand that this recollection is
not something supernatural, but that it is something we can
desire and achieve ourselves with the help of God — for without
this help we can do nothing,4 not even have a good thought.
This recollection is not a silence of the faculties; it is an
enclosure of the faculties within the soul.
5. The soul gains from this recollection in many ways as is
written in some books [on mental prayer.5 Since I'm speaking
only of how vocal prayer should be recited well, there's no
reason to say so much. What I'm trying to point out is that we
should see and be present to the One with whom we speak
without turning our backs on Him, for I don't think speaking
with God while thinking of a thousand other vanities would
amount to anything else but turning our backs on Him. All the
harm comes from not truly understanding that He is near, but
in imagining Him as far away. And indeed how far, if we go to
heaven to seek Him! Now, is Your face such, Lord, that we
would not look at it when You are so close to us? If people
aren't looking at us when we speak, it doesn't seem to us that
they are listening to what we say. And do we close our eyes to
avoid seeing that You, Lord, are looking at us? How will we
know whether You've heard what we're saying to You? This
alone is what I want to explain: that in order to acquire the
habit of easily recollecting our minds and understanding what
we are saying, and with whom we are speaking, it is necessary
that the exterior senses be recollected and that we give them
something with which to be occupied. For indeed we have
heaven within ourselves since the Lord of heaven is there.]
We must, then, disengage ourselves from everything so as to
approach God interiorly and even in the midst of occupations
withdraw within ourselves. Although it may be for only a mo-
ment that I remember I have that Company within myself, do-
ing so is very beneficial. In sum, we must get used to delighting
in the fact that it isn't necessary to shout in order to speak
to Him, for His Majesty will give the experience that He is
present.
6. With this method we shall pray vocally with much calm,
and any difficulty will be removed. For in the little amount of
148
St. Teresa of A vtla
time we take to force ourselves to be close to this Lord, He will
understand us as if through sign language. Thus if we are
about to say the Our Father many times, He will understand us
after the first. He is very fond of taking away our difficulty.
Even though we may recite this prayer no more than once in an
hour, we can be aware that we are with Him, of what we are
asking Him, of His willingness to give to us, and how eagerly
He remains with us. If we have this awareness, He doesn't want
us to be breaking our heads trying to speak a great deal to
Him. [Therefore, Sisters, out of love for the Lord, get used to
praying the Our Father with this recollection, and you will see
the benefit before long. This is a manner of praying that the
soul gets so quickly used to that it doesn't go astray, nor do the
faculties become restless, as time will tell. I only ask that you
try this method, even though it may mean some struggle;
everything involves struggle before the habit is acquired. But I
assure you that before long it will be a great consolation for you
to know that you can find this holy Father, whom you are
beseeching, within you without tiring yourself in seeking where
He is.]
7. May the Lord teach this recollection to those of you who
don't know about it, for I confess that I never knew what it was
to pray with satisfaction until the Lord taught me this method.
And it is because I have always found so many benefits from
this habit of recollection that I have enlarged so much upon it.
I conclude by saying that whoever wishes to acquire
i; — since, as I say, it lies within our power — should not tire of
getting used to what has been explained. It involves a gradual
increase of self-control and an end to vain wandering from the
right path; it means conquering, which is a making use of one's
senses for the sake of the inner life. If you speak, strive to
remember that the One with whom you are speaking is present
within. If you listen, remember that you are going to hear One
who is very close to you when He speaks. In sum, bear in mind
that you can, if you want, avoid ever withdrawing from such
good company; and be sorry that for a long time you left your
Father alone, of whom you are so much in need. If you can,
practice this recollection often during the day; if not, do so a
The Way of Perfection Chap. 30
149
few times. As you become accustomed to it you will experience
the benefit, either sooner or later. Once this recollection is
given by the Lord, you will not exchange it for any treasure.
8. Since nothing is learned without a little effort, consider,
Sisters, for the love of God, as well employed the attention you
give to this method of prayer. I know, if you try, that within a
year, or perhaps half a year, you will acquire it, by the favor of
God. See how little time it takes for a gain as great as is that of
laying a good foundation. If then the Lord should desire to
raise you to higher things He will discover in you the readiness,
finding that you are close to Him. May it please His Majesty
that we not consent to withdrawing from His presence. Amen.
[Perhaps all of you know what I've explained, but someone
may come along who will not know it. For that reason don't be
annoyed that I've mentioned it here. Now let us come to learn
how our good Master continues and begins to petition His holy
Father for us; it is good that we understand what He asks.]
Chapter 30
The importance of understanding what is being asked for in
prayer. Deals with the next words of the Our Father: Sanctificetur
nomen tuum, adveniat regnum tuum. Applies these words to the
prayer of quiet and begins to explain this kind of prayer.
IS THERE ANYONE, however foolish, who when he is
about to ask for something from an important person
doesn't think over how he should go about asking? He must
find favor with this person and not seem rude. He thinks about
what he should ask for and why he needs it, especially if he is
asking for something significant, which is what our good Jesus
teaches us to ask for. There is something it seems to me that
should be noted: Couldn't You, my Lord, have concluded the
Our Father with the words: "Give us, Father, what is fitting for
us"? It doesn't seem there would have been need to say
anything else to One who understands everything so well.
150
St. Teresa of Avila
2. O Eternal Wisdom! Between You and Your Father these
words would have sufficed. Your petition in the garden was like
this. You manifested Your own desire and fear, but You aban-
doned them to His will.1 Yet, You know us, my Lord, that we
are not as surrendered to the will of Your Father as You were.
You know that it was necessary for You to make those specific
requests so that we might pause to consider if what we are seek-
ing is good for us, so that if it isn't we won't ask for it. If we
aren't given what we want, being what we are, with this free
will we have, we might not accept what the Lord gives. For
although what He gives is better, we don't think we'll ever
become rich, since we don't at once see the money in our hand.
3. Oh, God help me! What a pity to have so unawakened a
faith that we never come to understand fully the certainty of
both punishment and reward! As a result it is good, daughters,
that you understand what you are asking for in the Our Father
so that if the Eternal Father should offer it to you, you will not
scoff at it. And consider very carefully whether what you ask
for is good for you; if it isn't, don't ask for it, but ask His Majes-
ty to give you light. For we are blind and feel loathing for the
food that will give us life; we want the food that will bring us
death. And what a death! So dangerous and so everlasting!
4. Well, Jesus says that we may recite these words in which
we ask for a kingdom like His to come within us: "Hallowed be
Your name, Your kingdom come within us."2
Now behold, daughters, how great the wisdom of our Master
is. I am reflecting here on what we are asking for when we ask
for this kingdom, and it is good that we understand our re-
quest. But since His Majesty saw that we could neither hallow,
nor praise, nor extol, nor glorify this holy name of the Eternal
Father in a fitting way, because of the tiny amount we
ourselves are capable of doing, He provided for us by giving us
here on earth His kingdom. That is why Jesus put these two
petitions next to each other. I want to tell you here, daughters,
what I understand so that we may know what we are asking for
and the importance of our begging persistently for it, and do as
much as we can so as to please the One who is to give it to us. If
I do not satisfy you, you can think up other reflections
The Way of Perfection Chap. 30
151
yourselves. Our Master will allow us to make these reflections
provided that we submit in all things to what the Church3
holds, as I do [always. And I will not even give you this to read
until learned persons have seen it. At least, if there is anything
incorrect, the error will not be done through malice but for my
not knowing any better.]
5. Now, then, the great good that it seems to me there will
be in the kingdom of heaven, among many other blessings, is
that one will no longer take any account of earthly things, but
have a calmness and glory within, rejoice in the fact that all are
rejoicing, experience perpetual peace and a wonderful inner
satisfaction that comes from seeing that everyone hallows and
praises the Lord and blesses His name and that no one offends
Him. Everyone loves Him there, and the soul itself doesn't
think about anything else than loving Him; nor can it cease
loving Him, because it knows Him. And would that we could
love Him in this way here below, even though we may not be
able to do so with such perfection or stability. But if we knew
Him we would love in a way very different from that in which
we do love Him.
6. It seems I'm saying that we would have to be angels in
order to make this petition and recite well our vocal prayers.
Our divine Master would truly desire this since He asks us to
make so lofty a petition, and certainly He doesn't tell us to ask
for impossible things. The above would be possible, through
the favor of God, for a soul placed in this exile, but not with
the perfection of those who have gone forth from this prison;
for we are at sea and journeying along this way. But there are
times when, tired from our travels, we experience that the
Lord calms our faculties and quiets the soul. As though by
signs, He gives us a clear foretaste of what will be given to those
He brings to His kingdom. And to those to whom He gives here
below the kingdom we ask for, He gives pledges so that through
these they may have great hope of going to enjoy perpetually
what here on earth is given only in sips.
7. If you wouldn't say that I'm treating of contemplation,
this petition would provide a good opportunity for speaking a
little about the beginning of pure contemplation; those who ex-
152
St. Teresa of Avila
perience this prayer call it the prayer of quiet. But since, as I
say, I'm dealing with vocal prayer, it may seem to anyone who
doesn't know about the matter that vocal prayer doesn't go
with contemplation; but I know that it does. Pardon me, but I
want to say this: I know there are many persons who while
praying vocally, as has already been mentioned,4 are raised by
God to sublime contemplation [without their striving for
anything or understanding how. It's because of this that I insist
so much, daughters, upon your reciting vocal prayer well.] I
know a person5 who was never able to pray any way but vocal-
ly, and though she was tied to this form of prayer she ex-
perienced everything else. And if she didn't recite vocal prayer
her mind wandered so much that she couldn't bear it. Would
that our mental prayer were as good! She spent several hours
reciting a certain number of Our Fathers, in memory of the
times our Lord shed His blood, as well as a few other vocal
prayers. Once she came to me very afflicted because she didn't
know how to practice mental prayer nor could she con-
template; she could only pray vocally. I asked her how she was
praying, and I saw that though she was tied to the Our Father
she experienced pure contemplation and that the Lord was
raising her up and joining her with Himself in union. And
from her deeds it seemed truly that she was receiving such
great favors, for she was living a very good life. So I praised the
Lord and envied her for her vocal prayer.
If this account is true, as it is, those of you who are the
enemies of contemplatives should not think that you are free
from being a contemplative if you recite your vocal prayers as
they should be recited, with a pure conscience. [And so I will
speak of this again. Whoever doesn't want to hear it may pass
on.]
The Way of Perfection Chap. 31
153
Chapter 31
Continues on the same subject. Explains the nature of the
prayer of quiet. Gives some advice for those who experience it.
This chapter should be carefully noted.
WELL, DAUGHTERS, I NONETHELESS want to explain
this prayer of quiet. I have heard talk about it, or the
Lord has given me understanding of it, perhaps, that I might
tell you of it [and that others may praise Him; although since I
have written about it elsewhere, as I said, I will not give lengthy
explanations but just say something.] In this prayer it seems the
Lord begins, as I have said,1 to show that He hears our petition.
He begins now to give us His kingdom here below so that we may
truly praise and hallow His name and strive that all persons do so.
2. This prayer is something supernatural, something we
cannot procure through our own efforts. In it the soul enters
into peace or, better, the Lord puts it at peace by His presence,
as He did to the just Simeon,2 so that all the faculties are
calmed. The soul understands in another way, very foreign to
the way it understands through the exterior senses, that it is
now close to its God and that not much more would be re-
quired for it to become one with Him in union. This is not
because it sees Him with the eyes either of the body or of the
soul. The just Simeon didn't see any more than the glorious,
little, poor child. For by the way the child was clothed and by
the few people that were in the procession, Simeon could have
easily judged the babe to be the son of poor people rather than
the Son of our heavenly Father. But the child Himself made Si-
meon understand. And this is how the soul understands here,
although not with as much clarity. For the soul, likewise, fails to
understand how it understands. But it sees it is in the kingdom,
at least near the King who will give the kingdom to the soul.
And seemingly the soul has so much reverence that it doesn't
even dare ask for this. The state resembles an interior and ex-
terior swoon; for the exterior man (or so that you will under-
stand me better, I mean the body [for some simpleton will come
along who won't know what "interior" and "exterior" means])
154
St. Teresa of A vila
doesn't want any activity. But like one who has almost reached
the end of his journey he wants to rest so as to be better able to
continue; in this rest his strength for the journey is doubled.
3. A person feels the greatest delight in his body and a great
satisfaction in his soul. He feels so happy merely with being
close to the fount that he is satisfied even without drinking. It
doesn't seem there is anything else for him to desire. The
faculties are still; they wouldn't want to be busy; everything
else seems to hinder them from loving. But they are not com-
pletely lost; they can think of who it is they are near, for two of
them are free. The will is the one that is captive here. If there is
some sorrow that can be experienced while in this state, that
sorrow comes from a realization that the will must return to the
state of being free. The intellect wouldn't want to understand
more than one thing; nor would the memory want to be oc-
cupied with anything else. Persons in this prayer see that only
this one thing is necessary, and everything else disturbs them.
They don't want the body to move because it seems they would
thereby lose that peace; thus they don't dare stir. It pains them
to speak; in their saying "Our Father" just once a whole hour
passes. They are so close that they see they are understanding
as though through signs. They are within the palace, near the
King, and they see that He is beginning to give them here His
kingdom. It doesn't seem to them that they are in the world,
nor would they want to see or hear about anything other than
their God. Nothing pains them, nor does it seem anything ever
will. In sum, while this prayer lasts they are so absorbed and
engulfed with the satisfaction and delight they experience
within themselves that they do not remember there is more to
desire; they would eagerly say with St. Peter: "Lord, let us
build three dwelling places here."3
4. Sometimes in this prayer of quiet the Lord grants another
favor which is very difficult to understand if there is not a great
deal of experience. But if there is some experience, the one
who receives it will immediately understand. It will be a great
consolation for you to know what it is, and I believe God often
grants this favor together with the other one. When this quiet
is great and lasts for a long while, it seems to me that the will
The Way of Perfection Chap. 31
155
wouldn't be able to remain so long in that peace if it weren't
bound to something. For it may happen that we will go about
with this satisfaction for a day or two and will not understand
ourselves — I mean those who experience it — and they definite-
ly see that they are not wholly in what they are doing, but that
the best part is lacking, that is, the will. The will, in my opin-
ion, is then united with its God, and leaves the other faculties
free to be occupied in what is for His service — and they then
have much more ability for this. But in worldly matters, these
faculties are dull and at times as though in a stupor.
5. This is a great favor for those to whom the Lord grants it;
the active and the contemplative lives are joined. The faculties
all serve the Lord together: the will is occupied in its work and
contemplation without knowing how; the other two faculties
serve in the work of Martha. Thus Martha and Mary walk
together.
I know someone whom the Lord often placed in this state.
She didn't know what to make of it and asked a great con-
templative. He answered that the experience was very possible,
that it had happened to him.4 Thus, I think that because the
soul is so satisfied in this prayer of quiet the faculty of the will
remains more continually united with Him who alone can
satisfy it.
6. I think it would be good here to give some counsels for
those of you, Sisters, whom the Lord, solely through His
goodness, has brought here, for I know there are some of you.
The first is that since they see themselves in that content-
ment and do not know how it came on them — at least they see
they cannot obtain it by themselves — they experience this
temptation: they think they'll be able to hold on to that
satisfaction and they don't even dare take a breath. This is
foolish, for just as there's nothing we can do to make the sun
rise, there's little we can do to keep it from setting. This prayer
is no longer our work, for it's something very supernatural and
something very much beyond our power to acquire by
ourselves. The best way to hold on to this favor is to understand
clearly that we can neither bring it about nor remove it; we can
156
St. Teresa of Avila
only receive it with gratitude, as most unworthy of it; and this
not with many words, but by raising our eyes to Him, as the
publican did.5
7. It is good to find more solitude so as to make room for the
Lord and allow His Majesty to work as though with something
belonging to Him. At most, a gentle word from time to time is
sufficient, as in the case of one who blows on a candle to enkin-
dle it again when it begins to die out. But if the candle is burn-
ing, blowing on it will in my opinion serve no other purpose than
to put it out. I say that the blowing should be gentle lest the will
be distracted by the intellect busying itself with many words.
8. And note well, friends, this counsel that I now wish to
give, for you'll often see that you'll be unable to manage these
other two faculties.6 It happens that the soul will be in the
greatest quiet and the intellect will be so distracted that it
won't seem that the quiet is present in the intellect's house. It
seems to the intellect, during that time, that it is nowhere else
than in a stranger's house, as a guest, and seeking other dwell-
ing places because the house it's in doesn't satisfy it and it
knows little about how to remain stable. Perhaps it's only my
intellect that's like this, and others' intellects are not. I am
speaking about myself, for sometimes I want to die in that I
cannot cure this wandering of the intellect. At other times I
think it takes up residence in its own house and accompanies
the will. It's a wonderful thing when all three faculties are in
accord. It's like what happens between two married people: if
they love each other, the one wants what the other wants. But
if the husband is unhappily married, it's easy to see what
disturbance he'll cause his wife. Thus when the will finds itself
in this quiet [and note well this counsel, for the matter is im-
portant], it shouldn't pay any more attention to the intellect
than it would to a madman. For should it want to keep the in-
tellect near itself, it will necessarily have to be somewhat
disturbed and disquieted. And in this state of prayer
everything will then amount to working without any further
gain but with a loss of what the Lord was giving the will
without its own work.
9. And notice carefully this comparison [for the Lord put it
in my mind while I was at prayer]; it seems to me very ap-
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 31
157
propriate: the soul is like an infant that still nurses when at its
mother's breast, and the mother without her babe's effort to
suckle puts the milk in its mouth in order to give it delight. So
it is here; for without effort of the intellect the will is loving,
and the Lord desires that the will, without thinking about the
matter, understand that it is with Him and that it does no more
than swallow the milk His Majesty places in its mouth, and en-
joy that sweetness. For the will knows that it is the Lord who is
granting that favor. And the will rejoices in its enjoyment. It
doesn't desire to understand how it enjoys the favor or what it
enjoys; but it forgets itself during that time, for the One who is
near it will not forget to observe what is fitting for it. If the will
goes out to fight with the intellect so as to give a share of the ex-
perience, by drawing the intellect after itself, it cannot do so at
all; it will be forced to let the milk fall from its mouth and lose
that divine nourishment.
10. This is the way this prayer of quiet is different from that
prayer in which the entire soul is united with God, for then the
soul doesn't even go through the process of swallowing this
divine food. Without its understanding how, the Lord places
the milk within it. In this prayer of quiet it seems that He wants
it to work a little, although so gently that it almost doesn't feel
its effort. [Whoever experiences this prayer will understand
clearly what I'm saying if after having read this he reflects on it
carefully; and let him consider how important the matter is. If
he doesn't experience the prayer, this will seem like gibberish.]
That which torments the will is the intellect. The intellect
doesn't cause this torment when there is union of all three
faculties, for He who created them suspends them. With the
joy He gives them He keeps them all occupied without their
knowing or understanding how. Thus, as I say, they feel this
prayer within themselves, a quiet and great contentment of the
will, without being able to discern what it is specifically. Yet
the soul easily discerns that it is far different from earthly
satisfactions and that ruling the world with all its delights
wouldn't be enough to make the soul feel that delight within
itself. The delight is in the interior of the will, for the other
consolations of life, it seems to me, are enjoyed in the exterior
of the will, as in the outer bark, we might say. When the will
158
St. Teresa of Avila
sees itself in this degree of prayer so sublime (for the prayer is,
as I have already said,7 very recognizably supernatural), it
laughs at the intellect as at a fool when this intellect — or mind,
to explain myself better — goes off to the more foolish things of
the world. The will remains in its quietude, for the intellect
will come and go. In this prayer the will is the ruler and the
powerful one. It will draw the intellect after itself without your
being disturbed. And if the will should desire to draw the in-
tellect by force of arms, the strength it has against the intellect
will be lost. This strength comes from eating and receiving that
divine food. And neither the will nor the intellect will gain
anything, but both will lose. As the saying goes, whoever tries
to grasp too much loses everything; this it seems to me is what
will happen here. Experience will enable one to understand,
for I wouldn't be surprised if to anyone who doesn't have this
experience what I've said would seem very obscure and un-
necessary. But I've already mentioned8 that with a little ex-
perience one will understand it, be able to benefit from it, and
will praise the Lord because He was pleased that I managed to
explain it here.
11. Now, then, let's conclude by saying that to the soul
placed in this prayer it seems the Eternal Father has already
here below granted its petition for His kingdom. Oh, blessed
request, in which, without realizing it, we ask for so much
good! What a blessed way of asking! For this reason, Sisters, I
want us to look at how we recite this prayer, the Our Father,
and all other vocal prayers. For when this favor is granted by
God, we shall forget the things of the world; when the Lord of
the world arrives He casts out everything else. I don't say that
all those who experience this prayer must by necessity be com-
pletely detached from the world. At least, I would like them to
know what is lacking and that they humble themselves and try to
go on detaching themselves from everything; if they don't, they
will remain in this state. A soul to whom God gives such pledges
has a sign that He wants to give it a great deal; if not impeded
through its own fault, it will advance very far. But if the Lord
sees that after He places the kingdom of heaven in the soul's
house this soul turns to earthly things, He will not only fail to
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 31
159
show it the secrets there are in His kingdom but will seldom
grant it this favor, and then for just a short space of time.
12. Now it could be that I am mistaken in this matter, but I
see and know that this is what happens, and in my opinion this
is why there are not many more spiritual persons. When in-
dividuals do not respond by service that is in conformity with so
great a favor, when they do not prepare themselves to receive it
again, but take back their wills from the hands of the Lord who
already possesses these wills as His own, and set them upon
base things, the Lord goes in search of those who do love Him
so as to give more to them. Yet He doesn't take away entirely
what He has given, when one lives with a pure conscience. But
there are persons — and I have been one of them — who make
themselves deaf when the Lord, taking pity on them, gives
them holy inspirations and light concerning the nature of
things, and, in sum, gives this kingdom and places them in this
prayer of quiet. For they are so fond of speaking and reciting
many vocal prayers very quickly, like one who wants to get a
job done, since they oblige themselves to recite these every day,
that even though, as I say, the Lord places His kingdom in
their hands, they do not receive it. But with their vocal prayers
they think they are doing better, and they distract themselves
from the prayer of quiet.
13. Do not do this, Sisters, but be on your guard when the
Lord grants you this favor. Consider that you are losing a great
treasure and that you do much more by saying one word of the
Our Father from time to time than by rushing through the en-
tire prayer many times. You are very close to the One you peti-
tion; He will not fail to hear you. And believe that herein lies
the true praise and hallowing of His name. For now, as one
who is in His house, you glorify the Lord and praise Him with
more affection and desire; and it seems that you cannot fail to
serve Him. [Thus I counsel you to be very careful in this matter
because it is extremely important.]
160
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 32
Discusses the words of the Our Father, Fiat voluntas tua sicut
in caelo et in terra; the great deal a person does when he says
them with full determination; and how well the Lord repays
this. [So I counsel you to be attentive because the matter is very
important.]
NOW THAT OUR GOOD MASTER has asked, and taught
us to ask, for something so highly valuable that it in-
cludes everything we can desire here below and that He has
granted us so wonderful a favor as to make us His brothers, let
us see what He desires us to give His Father, and how He offers
this gift for us and what He asks of us. For it is right that we
somehow serve Him in return for such great favors. O good
Jesus! What You give on our behalf in return for what You re-
quested for us is no small thing, although it really amounts to
nothing when compared to the greatness of the Lord and what
we owe Him. But certainly, my Lord, You do not leave us
empty-handed when we give You everything we can — I mean if
we really give it, as we say we will.
2. "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." You did
well, good Master of ours, to make this petition so that we
might accomplish what You give on our behalf. For certainly,
Lord, if You hadn't made the petition, the task would seem to
me impossible. But when Your Father does what You ask Him
by giving us His kingdom here on earth, I know that we shall
make Your words come true by giving what You give for us.
For once the earth has become heaven, the possibility is there
for Your will to be done in me. But if the earth hasn't — and
earth as wretched and barren as mine — I don't know, Lord,
how it will be possible. It is indeed a great thing, that which
You offer!
3. When I think of this, I am amused by persons who don't
dare ask for trials from the Lord, for they suppose that in doing
so they will be given them at once. I'm not speaking of those
who fail to do so out of humility, thinking they will be in-
capable of suffering them; although I myself hold that He, who
gives these persons the love to ask for these means, which are so
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 32
161
harsh, in order that they may show their love, will give them
the capacity to suffer them. I would like to question those who
fear to ask for trials, lest these be given them at once, about
what they say when they beseech the Lord to do His will in
them. Perhaps they say the words just to say what everyone else
is saying but not so that His will be done. To do this, Sisters,
would not be right. Consider that Jesus acts here as our am-
bassador and that He has desired to intervene between us and
His Father, and at no small cost of His own. It would not be
right for us to fail to do what He has offered on our behalf; if
we don't want to do it we shouldn't say these words.
4. Now let me put it in another way. Look, daughters, His
will must be done whether we like this or not, and it will be
done in heaven and on earth. Believe me, take my advice, and
make a virtue of necessity. O my Lord, what a great comfort
this is for me, that you didn't want the fulfillment of Your will
to depend on a will as wretched as mine! May You be blessed
forever, and may all things praise You! Your name be glorified
forever! I'd be in a fine state, Lord, if it were up to me as to
whether or not Your will were to be done! Now I freely give
mine to You, even though I do so at a time in which I'm not
free of self-interest. For I have felt and have had great ex-
perience of the gain that comes from freely abandoning my will
to Yours. O friends, what a great gain there is here! Oh, what a
great loss there is when we do not carry out what we offer to the
Lord in the Our Father!
5. Before I tell you about what is gained, I want to explain
the great deal you offer so that afterward you won't take back
what you gave, claiming that you hadn't understood. Don't be
like some religious who do nothing but promise; and when we
don't follow through, we make an excuse saying we didn't
understand what we were promising. And this could be so,
because to say that we abandon our will to another's will seems
very easy until through experience we realize that this is the
hardest thing one can do if one does it as it should be done. But
superiors are not always strict in leading us since they see we
are weak. And at times they lead both the weak and the strong
in the same way. With the Lord, such is not the case; He knows
162
St. Teresa of A vila
what each one can suffer. He does not delay in doing His will in
anyone He sees has strength.1
6. Well, I want to advise you and remind you what His will
is. Don't fear that it means He will give you riches, or delights,
or honors, or all these earthly things. His love for you is not
that small, and He esteems highly what you give Him. He
wants to repay you well, for He gives you His kingdom while
you are still alive. Do you want to know how He answers those
who say these words to Him sincerely? Ask His glorious Son,
who said them while praying in the Garden.2 Since they were
said with such determination and complete willingness, see if
the Father's will wasn't done fully in Him through the trials,
sorrows, injuries, and persecutions He suffered until His life
came to an end through death on a cross.
7. Well, see here, daughters, what He gave to the one He
loved most. By that we understand what His will is. For these
are His gifts in this world. He gives according to the love He
bears us: to those He loves more, He gives more of these gifts;
to those He loves less, He gives less. And He gives according to
the courage He sees in each and the love each has for His Ma-
jesty. He will see that whoever loves Him much will be able to
suffer much for Him; whoever loves Him little will be capable
of little. I myself hold that the measure for being able to bear a
large or small cross is love. So, Sisters, if you love Him, strive
that what you say to the Lord may not amount to mere polite
words; strive to suffer what His Majesty desires you to suffer.
For, otherwise, when you give your will, it would be like show-
ing a jewel to another, making a gesture to give it away, and
asking that he take it; but when he extends his hand to accept
it, you pull yours back and hold on tightly to the jewel.
8. This is no way to mock Him who was the butt of so much
mockery for our sakes. Even if there were no other reason, it
would not be right to mock Him so often; the number of times
we say the Our Father is not small. Let's give Him the jewel
once and for all, no matter how many times we have tried to
give it before. The truth is that He rewards us beforehand so
that we might give it to Him. [Oh, God help me, how obvious it
is that my good Jesus knows us! For He doesn't say at the outset
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 32
163
that we should give this will to the Lord, but first reveals that
we will be well paid for this little service and that the Lord
wants us to benefit a great deal by it. Even in this life He begins
to reward us, as I shall now say.] Those in the world will be do-
ing enough if they truly have the determination to do His will.
You, daughters, will express this determination by both saying
and doing, by both words and deeds, as indeed it seems we
religious do. But at times we not only commit ourselves to giv-
ing the jewel but place it in His hand, only to take it back
again. We are quick to be generous, but afterward so stingy
that it would have been more fruitful, in part, if we had
delayed in giving.
9. Because everything I have advised you about in this book
is directed toward the complete gift of ourselves to the Creator,
the surrender of our wills to His, and detachment from
creatures — and you have understood how important this
is — I'm not going to say any more about the matter; but I will
explain why our good Master teaches us to say the words men-
tioned above, as one who knows the many things we gain by
rendering this service to His eternal Father. For we are prepar-
ing ourselves that we may quickly reach the end of our journey
and drink the living water from the fount we mentioned.3
Unless we give our wills entirely to the Lord so that in
everything pertaining to us He might do what conforms with
His will, we will never be allowed to drink from this fount.
Drinking from it is perfect contemplation, that which you told
me to write about.
10. In this contemplation, as I have already written,4 we
don't do anything ourselves. Neither do we labor, nor do we
bargain, nor is anything else necessary — because everything
else is an impediment and hindrance — than to say fiat voluntas
tua: Your will, Lord, be done in me in every way and manner
that You, my Lord, want. If You want it to be done with trials,
strengthen me and let them come; if with persecutions, ill-
nesses, dishonors, and a lack of life's necessities, here I am; I
will not turn away, my Father, nor is it right that I turn my
back on You. Since Your Son gave You this will of mine in the
name of all, there's no reason for any lack on my part. But
164
St. Teresa of A vila
grant me the favor of Your kingdom that I may do Your will,
since He asked for this kingdom for me, and use me as You
would Your own possession, in conformity with Your will.
11. O my Sisters, what strength lies in this gift! It does
nothing less, when accompanied by the necessary determina-
tion, than draw the Almighty so that He becomes one with our
lowliness, transforms us into Himself, and effects a union of the
Creator with the creature. Behold whether or not you are well
paid and have a good Master; since He knows how the love of
His Father can be obtained, He teaches us how and by what
means we must serve Him.
12. And the more our deeds show that these are not merely
polite words, all the more does the Lord bring us to Himself
and raise the soul from itself and all earthly things so as to
make it capable of receiving great favors, for He never finishes
repaying this service in the present life. He esteems it so highly
that we do not ourselves know how to ask for ourselves, and His
Majesty never tires of giving. Not content with having made
this soul one with Himself, He begins to find His delight in it,
reveal His secrets, and rejoice that it knows what it has gained
and something of what He will give it. He makes it lose these
exterior senses so that nothing will occupy it. This is rapture.
And He begins to commune with the soul in so intimate a
friendship that He not only gives it back its own will but gives it
His. For in so great a friendship the Lord takes joy in putting
the soul in command, as they say, and He does what it asks
since it does His will. And He does this even better than the
soul itself could, for He is powerful and does whatever He
wants and never stops wanting this.
13. The poor soul cannot do what it desires even though it
may want to; nor can it give anything save what is given. This is
its greatest wealth: the more it serves, the more indebted it re-
mains. It often grows weary seeing itself subject to so many dif-
ficulties, impediments, and fetters, which result from dwelling
in the prison of this body. It would want to repay something of
what it owes. To grow weary is quite foolish; for even though
one does what's in one's power, what can those of us repay who,
as I say, don't have anything save what we have received? All
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 33
165
we can do is know ourselves and what we are capable of, which
is to give our will, and give it completely. Everything else en-
cumbers the soul brought here by the Lord and causes it harm
rather than benefit. Only humility can do something, a humili-
ty not acquired by the intellect, but by a clear perception that
comprehends in a moment the truth one would be unable to
grasp in a long time through the work of the imagination about
what a trifle we are and how very great God is.
14. I give you one counsel: that you don't think that through
your own strength or efforts you can arrive, for reaching this
stage is beyond our power; if you try to reach it, the devotion
you have will grow cold. But with simplicity and humility,
which will achieve everything, say: fiat voluntas tua.
Chapter 33
Deals with the great need we have that the Lord give us what
we ask for in these words of the Our Father: Panem nostrum
quotidianum da nobis hodie.
AS I HAVE SAID,1 Jesus understands what a difficult thing
l it is He offers for us. He knows our weakness, that we
often show we do not understand what the Lord's will is. We
are weak and He is merciful. He knows that a means was
necessary. He saw it would not be in any way to our benefit if
we failed to give what He gave, because all our gain lies in giv-
ing this. He saw that doing the Father's will was difficult. If we
tell a rich person living in luxury that it is God's will that he be
careful and use moderation at table so that others might at
least have bread to eat, for they are dying of hunger, he will
bring up a thousand reasons for not understanding this save in
accordance with his own selfish purposes. If we tell a backbiter
that it is God's will that he love his neighbor as himself, he will
become impatient and no reason will suffice to make him
understand. We can tell a religious who has grown accustomed
to freedom and comfort that he should remember his obliga-
tion to give good example and keep in mind that when he says
166
St. Teresa of A vzla
these words they be not just words but be put into practice
since he has promised them under oath; and that it is God's will
that he be faithful to his vows and that he should note that if he
gives scandal he is acting very contrary to them, even though
he may not be breaking them entirely; and that since he has
promised poverty, he should observe it without subterfuge, for
this is what the Lord wills. But it is just useless to insist
nowadays with some of them. What would happen if the Lord
had not provided for us with the remedy He gave? There would
have been only a very few who would have carried out these
words He spoke for us to the Father, fiat voluntas tua.
Now then, once Jesus saw the need, He sought out a wonder-
ful means by which to show the extreme of His love for us, and
in His own name and in that of His brothers He made the
following petition: "Give us this day, Lord, our daily bread."
Let us understand, Sisters, for the love of God, what our
good Master is asking for; it is a matter of life and death not to
pass over these words hastily. Consider what you have given as
very little since you will receive so much.
2. Now I think — unless one has a better opinion — that Jesus
observed what He had given for us, how important it was that
we in turn give this, and the great difficulty there is in our do-
ing so, as was said,2 since we are the way we are: inclined to
base things and with so little love and courage that it was
necessary for us to see His love and courage in order to be
awakened — and not just once but every day. After He saw all
this, He must have resolved to remain with us here below.
Since to do this was something so serious and important, He
desired that it come from the hand of the Eternal Father. For
even though they are one and He knew that what He did on
earth God would do in heaven and consider good — since His
will and that of His Father were one — the humility of Jesus was
such that He wanted, as it were, to ask permission. He already
knew that His Father loved Him and took His delight in Him.3
He well understood that He was asking for more in this request
than He was in the others, for He knew beforehand the death
they would make Him die and the dishonors and insults He
would suffer.
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 33
167
3. Well, what father could there be, Lord, who in having
given us his son, and a son like this who receives such treat-
ment, would consent that he remain among us every day to suf-
fer? Certainly no father, Lord, but Yours. You well know
whom You are petitioning.
Oh, God help me, what great love from the Son and what
great love from the Father! Yet I am not so surprised about
Jesus, for since He had already said,yia£ voluntas tua, He had
to do that will, being who He is. Yes, for He is not like us!
Since, then, He knows that He does it by loving us as Himself,
He went about looking for ways of doing it with greater perfec-
tion, even though His fulfillment of this commandment was at
a cost to Himself. But You, Eternal Father, how is it that You
consented? Why do You desire to see Your Son every day in
such wretched hands? Since You have already desired to see
Him in these hands and given Your consent, You have seen
how they treated Him. How can You in Your compassion now
see Him insulted day after day? And how many insults will be
committed today against this Most Blessed Sacrament! In how
many enemies' hands must the Father see Him! How much ir-
reverence from these heretics!
4. O eternal Lord! Why do You accept such a petition? Why
do You consent to it? Don't look at His love for us, because in
exchange for doing Your will perfectly, and doing it for us, He
allows Himself to be crushed to pieces each day. It is for You,
my Lord, to look after Him, since He will let nothing deter
Him. Why must all our good come at His expense? Why does
He remain silent before all and not know how to speak for
Himself, but only for us? Well, shouldn't there be someone to
speak for this most loving Lamb? [Allow me, Lord, to
speak — since You have willed to leave Him to our power — and
to beseech You since He so truly obeyed You and with so much
love gave Himself to us.] I have noticed how in this petition
alone He repeats the words: first He says and asks the Father to
give us this daily bread, and then repeats, "give it to us this
day, Lord," invoking the Father again.4 It's as though Jesus
tells the Father that He is now ours since the Father has given
Him to us to die for us; and asks that the Father not take Him
168
St. Teresa of Avila
from us until the end of the world; that He allow Him to serve
each day. May this move your hearts, my daughters, to love
your Spouse, for there is no slave who would willingly say he is a
slave, and yet it seems that Jesus is honored to be one.
5. O Eternal Father! How much this humility deserves!
What treasure do we have that could buy Your Son? The sale
of Him, we already know, was for thirty pieces of silver.5 But to
buy Him, no price is sufficient. Since by sharing in our nature
He has become one with us here below — and as Lord of His
own will — He reminds the Father that because He belongs to
Him the Father in turn can give Him to us. And so He says,
"our bread." He doesn't make any difference between Himself
and us, but we make one by not giving ourselves up each day
for His Majesty.
Chapter 34
Continues on the same subject. The matter is very helpful with
regard to the time immediately following reception of the most
Blessed Sacrament.
IN THIS PETITION THE WORD "DAILY" seems to mean
forever. Reflecting upon why after the word "daily" the
Lord said "give us this day, Lord," that is, be ours every day,
I've come to think that it is because here on earth we possess
Him and also in heaven we will possess Him if we profit well by
His company.1 He, in fact, doesn't remain with us for any other
reason than to help, encourage, and sustain us in doing this
will that we have prayed might be done in us.
2. In saying "this day," it seems to me, He is referring to one
day: that which lasts as long as the world and no longer. And
one day indeed! With regard to the unfortunate ones who will
be condemned (who will not enjoy Him in the next life), it will
not be the Lord's fault if they let themselves be conquered.2 He
doesn't stop encouraging them until the battle is over. They
will have no excuse or complaint to make to the Father for tak-
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 34
169
ing Him away when they most need Him. So the Son tells His
Father that because there is no more than one day the Father
should let Him pass it in servitude. Since the Father has already
given us His Son and, just because He wanted to, sent Him into
the world, the Son, just because He wants to, desires not to
abandon us but to remain here with us, to the greater glory of
His friends and the affliction of His enemies. He asks again for
no more than to be with us this day only, because it is a fact
that He has given us this most sacred bread forever. His Majes-
ty gave us, as I have said, the manna and nourishment of His
humanity that we might find Him at will and not die of
hunger,3 save through our own fault. In no matter how many
ways the soul may desire to eat, it will find delight and consola-
tion in the most Blessed Sacrament. [I don't want to think the
Lord had in mind the other bread that is used for our bodily
needs and nourishment; nor would I want you to have that in
mind. The Lord was in the most sublime contemplation (for
whoever has reached such a stage has no more remembrance
that he is in the world than if he were not, however much there
may be to eat), and would He have placed so much emphasis
on the petition that He as well as ourselves eat? It wouldn't
make sense to me. He is teaching us to set our wills on heavenly
things and to ask that we might begin enjoying Him from here
below; and would He get us involved in something so base as
asking to eat? As if He didn't know us! For once we start worry-
ing about bodily needs, those of the soul will be forgotten!
Well, we are such temperate people that we are satisfied by lit-
tle and ask for little! On the contrary, the more He gives us the
more we think we are lacking everything, even water. Let
those, my daughters, who want more than is necessary ask for
this material bread.] There is no need or trial or persecution
that is not easy to suffer if we begin to enjoy the delight and
consolation of this sacred bread.
3. Ask the Father, daughters, together with the Lord, to give
you your Spouse "this day" so that you will not be seen in this
world without Him. To temper such great happiness it's suffi-
cient that He remain disguised in these accidents of bread and
wine. This is torment enough for anyone who has no other love
170
St. Teresa of Avila
than Him nor any other consolation. Beg Him not to fail you,
and to give you the dispositions to receive Him worthily.
4. Don't worry about the other bread, those of you who have
sincerely surrendered yourselves to the will of God. I mean dur-
ing these times of prayer when you should be dealing with more
important things; there are other times for working and for
earning your bread. [Have no fear that you will be in want of
bread if you are not wanting in what you have said about the
surrender of yourselves to God's will. And indeed, daughters, I
say for myself, if I should maliciously fail in this surrender, as I
have many other times, I would not beg that He give me this
bread or anything else to eat. Let me die of hunger; why
should I want life if with it I am daily gaining more of eternal
death?] Carefully avoid wasting your thoughts at any time on
what you will eat. Let the body work, for it is good that you
work to sustain yourselves; let your soul be at rest. Leave this
care, as has been amply pointed out,4 to your Spouse; He will
care for you always.
5. Your attitude should be like that of a servant when he
begins to serve. His care is about pleasing his master in
everything. But the master is obliged to provide his servant
with food as long as the servant is in the house and serves him,
unless the master is so poor that he doesn't have enough either
for himself or for his servant. In our case this isn't so; the
Master always is, and will be, rich and powerful. Well, it
wouldn't be right for the servant to go about asking for food
when he knows that the master of the house takes care of pro-
viding it for him, and must do so. The master would rightly tell
his servant to be occupied in serving and seeking ways to please
the master, for the servant, by worrying about what isn't his
own business, would be doing everything wrong.
Thus, Sisters, let whoever wants be concerned with asking
for this bread. As for ourselves, let us ask the Eternal Father
that we might merit to receive our heavenly bread in such a
way that the Lord may reveal Himself to the eyes of our soul
and make Himself thereby known since our bodily eyes cannot
delight in beholding Him, because He is so hidden. Such
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 34
171
knowledge is another kind of satisfying and delightful susten-
ance that maintains life. [In order to sustain life we will be
desiring that other bread more often than we want and asking
for it even without realizing we're doing so. There's no need to
stir ourselves to ask for it; for our wretched tendency toward
base things will awaken us, as I say, more often than we may
desire. But let us watch so that we don't advertently place our
care on anything other than begging the Lord for what I have
mentioned; in having this, we will have everything.]
6. Do you think this heavenly food fails to provide sus-
tenance, even for these bodies, that it is not a great medicine
even for bodily ills? I know that it is. I know a person5 with
serious illnesses, who often experiences great pain, who
through this bread had them taken away as though by a
gesture of the hand and was made completely well. This is a
common experience, and the illnesses are very recognizable,
for I don't think they could be feigned. And because the
wonders this most sacred bread effects in those who worthily
receive it are well known, I will not mention many that could
be mentioned regarding this person I've spoken of. I was able
to know of them, and I know that this is no lie. But the Lord
had given her such living faith that when she heard some per-
sons saying they would have liked to have lived at the time
Christ our Good walked in the world, she used to laugh to
herself. She wondered what more they wanted since in the most
Blessed Sacrament they had Him just as truly present as He was
then.
7. But I know that for many years, when she received Com-
munion, this person, though she was not very perfect, strove to
strengthen her faith so that in receiving her Lord it was as if,
with her bodily eyes, she saw Him enter her house. Since she
believed that this Lord truly entered her poor home, she freed
herself from all exterior things when it was possible and
entered to be with Him. She strove to recollect the senses so
that all of them would take notice of so great a good, I mean
that they would not impede the soul from recognizing it. She
considered she was at His feet and wept with the Magdalene,
no more nor less than if she were seeing Him with her bodily
172
St. Teresa of A vila
eyes in the house of the Pharisee.6 And even though she didn't
feel devotion, faith told her that He was indeed there.
8. If we don't want to be fools and blind the intellect there's
no reason for doubt. Receiving Communion is not like pictur-
ing with the imagination, as when we reflect upon the Lord on
the cross or in other episodes of the Passion, when we picture
within ourselves how things happened to Him in the past. In
Communion the event is happening now, and it is entirely
true. There's no reason to go looking for Him in some other
place farther away. Since we know that Jesus is with us as long
as the natural heat doesn't consume the accidents of bread, we
should approach Him. Now, then, if when He went about in
the world the mere touch of His robes cured the sick,7 why
doubt, if we have faith, that miracles will be worked while He
is within us and that He will give what we ask of Him, since He
is in our house? His Majesty is not accustomed to paying poorly
for His lodging if the hospitality is good.
9. If it pains you not to see Him with your bodily eyes, con-
sider that seeing Him so is not fitting for us. To see Him in His
glorified state is different from seeing Him as He was when He
walked through this world. On account of our natural
weakness there is no person capable of enduring such a glorious
sight, nor would anyone in the world want to continue in it. In
seeing this Eternal Truth one would see that all the things we
pay attention to here below are lies and jokes. And in
beholding such great Majesty, how would a little sinner like
myself who has so much offended Him remain so close to Him?
Beneath that bread He is easy to deal with. If a king were
disguised it wouldn't matter to us at all if we conversed with
him without so many gestures of awe and respect. It seems he
would be obliged to put up with this lack since he is the one
who disguised himself. Who would otherwise dare approach so
unworthily, with so much lukewarmness, and with so many
imperfections!
10. Oh, how we fail to know what we are asking for;8 and
how His wisdom provided in a better way! He reveals Himself
to those who He sees will benefit by His presence. Even though
they fail to see Him with their bodily eyes, He has many
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 34
173
methods of showing Himself to the soul, through great interior
feelings and through other different ways. Be with Him will-
ingly; don't lose so good an occasion for conversing with Him as
is the hour after having received Communion.9 If obedience
should command something, Sisters, strive to leave your soul
with the Lord. If you immediately turn your thoughts to other
things, if you pay no attention and take no account of the fact
that He is within you, how will He be able to reveal Himself to
you? This, then, is a good time for our Master to teach us, and
for us to listen to Him, kiss His feet because He wanted to teach
us, and beg Him not to leave.10
11. If you have to pray to Him by looking at His picture, it
would seem to me foolish. You would be leaving the Person
Himself in order to look at a picture of Him. Wouldn't it be sil-
ly if a person we love very much and of whom we have a por-
trait came to see us and we stopped speaking with him so as to
carry on a conversation with the portrait? Do you want to know
when it is very good to have a picture of Christ and when it is a
thing in which I find much delight? When He himself is ab-
sent, or when by means of a great dryness He wants to make us
feel He is absent. It is then a wonderful comfort to see an image
of One whom we have so much reason to love.11 Wherever I
turn my eyes, I would want to see His image. With what better
or more pleasing thing can our eyes be occupied than with One
who loves so much and who has in Himself all goods. Unfor-
tunate are those heretics who through their own fault have lost
this consolation among others.
12. But after having received the Lord, since you have the
Person Himself present, strive to close the eyes of the body and
open those of the soul and look into your own heart. For I tell
you, and tell you again, and would like to tell you many times
that you should acquire the habit of doing this every time you
receive Communion and strive to have such a conscience that
you will be allowed to enjoy this blessing frequently. Though
He comes disguised, the disguise as I have said,12 does not pre-
vent Him from being recognized in many ways, in conformity
with the desire we have to see Him. And you can desire to see
Him so much that He will reveal Himself to you entirely.
174
St. Teresa of Avila
13. On the other hand, if we pay no attention to Him but
after receiving Him leave Him and go seeking after other base
things, what is there for Him to do? Must He force us to see
Him, since He wants to reveal Himself to us? No, for they
didn't treat Him so well when He let Himself be seen openly by
all and told them clearly who He was; very few were those who
believed Him. So His Majesty is being merciful enough to all of
us who love Him, by letting us know that it is He who is present
in the most Blessed Sacrament. He doesn't want to show
Himself openly, communicate His grandeurs, and give His
treasures except to those who He knows desire Him greatly;
these are His true friends. I tell you that whoever is not His true
friend and does not draw near to receive Him as such, by doing
what lies in her power, will never trouble Him with requests
that He reveal Himself. Such a person will hardly have fulfilled
what the Church requires when she will leave and quickly
forget what took place. Thus, such a person hurries on as soon
as she can to other business affairs, occupations, and worldly
impediments so that the Lord of the house may not occupy it.
Chapter 35
With a prayerful exclamation to the Eternal Father concludes
the subject that was begun.
BECAUSE THIS MATTER is so important I have greatly
enlarged upon it, even though in discussing the prayer of
recollection I spoke of the significance of entering within
ourselves to be alone with God. When you do not receive Com-
munion, daughters, but hear Mass, you can make a spirit-
ual communion. Spiritual communion is highly beneficial;
through it you can recollect yourselves in the same way after
Mass, for the love of this Lord is thereby deeply impressed on
the soul. If we prepare ourselves to receive Him, He never fails
to give in many ways which we do not understand. It is like ap-
proaching a fire; even though the fire may be a large one, it
will not be able to warm you well if you turn away and hide
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 35
175
your hands, though you will still get more heat than you would
if you were in a place without one. But it is something else if we
desire to approach Him. If the soul is disposed (I mean, if it
wants to get warm), and if it remains there for a while, it will
stay warm for many hours.
2. Now then, Sisters, consider that if in the beginning you
do not fare well (for it could be that the devil will make you feel
afflicted and constrained in heart since he knows the great
damage that will be caused him by this recollection), the devil
will make you think you find more devotion in other things and
less in this recollection after Communion. Do not abandon this
practice; the Lord will see in it how much you love Him.
Remember that there are few souls who accompany Him and
follow Him in trials. Let us suffer something for Him; His Ma-
jesty will repay you for it. Remember also how many persons
there are who not only refuse to remain with Him but rudely
reject Him. Well, we have to suffer something that He may
understand we desire to see Him. And since He suffers and will
suffer everything in order to find even one soul that will receive
Him and lovingly keep Him within, let your desire be to do
this. If there isn't anyone who will do it, the Eternal Father will
lightly refuse to let Him remain with us. But the Father is so
fond of friends and so much the Lord of His servants that
in seeing the will of His good Son He doesn't want to hinder
this excellent work; in it the Son's love for Him is fully
demonstrated [by the invention of this admirable means in
which He shows how much He loves us and helps us suffer our
trials.]
3. Well, holy Father in heaven, since You desire and accept
this work, and it is clear that You will not deny us anything
that is good for us, there has to be someone, as I said in the
beginning,1 who will speak for Your Son since He never looks
out for Himself. Let us be the ones, daughters, even though the
thought is a bold one, we being who we are. But obeying and
trusting in the Lord's command to us that we ask,2 let us
beseech His Majesty in the name of Jesus that, since nothing re-
mained for Him to do and He left sinners a gift as great as this
one, He might in His compassion desire and be pleased to pro-
176
St. Teresa of A vila
vide a remedy that His Son may not be this badly treated. Let
us beseech Him that, since His Son provided a means so good
that we may offer Him many times in sacrifice, this precious
gift may avail; that there'll be no advance made in the very
great evil and disrespect committed and shown in places where
this most Blessed Sacrament is present among those Lutherans,
where churches are destroyed, so many priests lost, and the
sacraments taken away.3
4. Well, what is this, my Lord and my God! Either bring the
world to an end or provide a remedy for these very serious evils.
There is no heart that can suffer them, not even among those
of us who are wretched. I beseech You, Eternal Father, that
You suffer them no longer. Stop this fire, Lord, for if You will
You can. Behold that Your Son is still in the world. Through
His reverence may all these ugly and abominable and filthy
things cease. In His beauty and purity He doesn't deserve to be
in a house where there are things of this sort. Do not answer for
our sakes, Lord; we do not deserve it. Do it for Your Son's sake.
We don't dare beseech You that He be not present with us;
what would become of us? For if something appeases You, it is
having a loved one like this here below. Since some means must
be had, my Lord, may Your Majesty provide it.
5. O my God, would that I might have begged You much
and served You diligently so as to be able to ask for this great
favor in payment for my services, since You don't leave anyone
without pay! But I have not done so, Lord; rather, perhaps I
am the one who has angered You so that my sins have caused
these many evils to come about. Well, what is there for me to
do, my Creator, but offer this most blessed bread to You, and
even though You have given it to us, return it to You and beg
You through the merits of Your Son to grant me this favor
since in so many ways He has merited that You do so? Now,
Lord, now; make the sea calm! May this ship, which is the
Church, not always have to journey in a tempest like this. Save
us, Lord, for we are perishing.4
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 36
177
Chapter 36
Discusses these words of the Our Father: Dimitte nobis debita
nostra.
SINCE OUR GOOD MASTER SAW that with this heavenly
bread everything is easy for us, save through our own fault,
and that we can carry out very well what we have said about
the Father's will being done in us, He now tells the Father to
forgive us our debts since we ourselves forgive. Thus, He says,
going on with the prayer He teaches us, "And forgive us, Lord,
our debts as we forgive our debtors."1
2. Let us observe, Sisters, that He doesn't say "as we will
forgive." We can thereby understand that whoever asks for a
gift as great as the one last mentioned and whoever has already
surrendered his will to God's will should have already forgiven.
So, He says, "as we forgive." Thus, whoever may have said
sincerely to the Lord fiat voluntas tua should have done that
will entirely; at least have had the resolve to.
You see here why the saints were pleased with the wrongs
and persecutions they suffered; they then had something to of-
fer the Lord when they prayed to Him. What will someone as
poor as I do, who has had so little to pardon and so much to be
pardoned for?
This is a matter, Sisters, that we should reflect upon very
much: that something so serious and important, as that our
Lord forgive us our faults, which deserve eternal fire, be done
by means of something so lowly as our forgiving others. And I
have so little opportunity to offer even this lowly thing, that the
Lord has to pardon me for nothing. [What can be said against
someone like myself, or what wrong can be done to her who has
deserved to be always mistreated by the demons? If the world
were to treat me very badly, such mistreatment would be just.
In sum, my Lord, I have nothing as a result to give You by
means of which I may ask You to forgive my debts. May Your
Son pardon me; no one has done me an injustice, and so I have
nothing to pardon for your sake, unless, Lord, You accept my
178
St. Teresa of Avila
desire. It seems to me that anything I might forgive I would
forgive in order that You would forgive me, or to do Your will
unconditionally. Yet I don't know what I would do actually if I
were condemned without fault. Now I see myself so deserving
of blame in Your presence that everyone falls short with respect
to blaming me; although those who do not know what I am, as
You know, think they are offending me.] Here Your mercy fits
in well. May You be blessed for putting up with one so poor as
I. What Your Son says in the name of all has to exclude me
because of what I am and because I am so penniless.
3. But, my Lord, are there some persons in my company
who have not understood this? If there are, I beg them in Your
name to remember this and pay no attention to the little things
they call wrongs. It seems that, like children, we are making
houses out of straw with these ceremonious little rules of eti-
quette. Oh, God help me, Sisters, if we knew what honor is and
what losing honor consists in! Now I am not speaking of
ourselves, for it would be quite bad for us not to have
understood this yet, but of myself at the time when I prized
honor without understanding what it was. I was following the
crowd [through what I heard.] Oh, by how many things was I
offended! I am ashamed now. Yet, I wasn't at that time one of
those who pay close attention to these little rules of etiquette.
But neither was I careful about the main rule, because I didn't
consider or pay any heed to the honor that is beneficial; that is,
the honor that benefits the soul. And how well it was said by
whoever said it that honor and profit don't go together;
although I don't know if it was said with this purpose in mind.
But it is right to the point because the soul's profit and what
the world calls honor can never go together. It's a frightful
thing; the world moves in the opposite direction. Blessed be the
Lord who drew us out of it. [May it please His Majesty that
such a concept of honor always be as far from this house as it is
now. God deliver us from monasteries where they pay attention
to these ceremonious little rules. He is never much honored in
such monasteries. God help me, what great foolishness, that
religious seek honor in such trifles; I am astonished! You don't
The Way of Perfection Chap. 36
179
know about this, Sisters, but I want to tell you about it so that
you will guard yourselves against it.]
4. But consider, Sisters, that the devil hasn't forgotten us.
He also invents his own honors in monasteries and establishes
his own laws. There, people ascend and descend in rank just as
in the world. Those with degrees must follow in order, accord-
ing to their academic titles. Why? I don't know. The one who
has managed to become professor of theology must not descend
to professor of philosophy, for it is a point of honor that he
must ascend and not descend. Even if obedience should com-
mand, he would consider the change an affront. And there will
always be someone standing by to defend him and tell him that
it's an insult; then the devil at once discloses reasons why even
according to God's law this thinking seems right. Well, now,
among ourselves: the one who has been prioress must remain
ineligible for any lower office; a preoccupation about who the
senior is — for we never forget this — and we even think at times
we gain merit by such concern because the order commands it.
5. One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry; the latter
would be more fitting. The order doesn't command us to lack
humility. It commands that there be a balanced arrangement
of things, but I don't have to be so careful about this arrange-
ment when it comes to matters of self-esteem that I am as con-
cerned about these little ceremonious rules as about other
practices that perhaps we observe imperfectly. All of our
perfection doesn't consist in the observance of what has to do
with our honor. Others will look after me if I forget about
myself. The fact is that since we are inclined to ascend — even
though we will not ascend to heaven by such an inclina-
tion—there must be no descending. O Lord, Lord! Are You
our Model and Master? Yes, indeed! Well then, what did Your
honor consist of, You who honored us? Didn't you indeed lose it
in being humiliated unto death? No, Lord, but You won it for
all.
6. Oh, for the love of God, Sisters, how we get lost on the
road because we start out wrong from the beginning.2 Please
God no soul will be lost because it keeps these miserable little
180
St. Teresa of A vzla
rules of etiquette without understanding what honor consists
in. And then we shall reach the point of thinking that we have
done a great deal if we pardon one of these little things that
was neither an offense, nor an injury, nor anything. Like
someone who has accomplished something, we shall think that
the Lord pardons us because we have pardoned others. Help us
understand, my God, that we do not know ourselves and that
we come to You with empty hands; and pardon us through
Your mercy. [Indeed, You are always the wronged and the of-
fended one.] Truly, Lord, since all things come to an end, but
the punishment is without end, I don't see anything that would
give us a reason to remind You to grant us so great a favor;
unless You would grant it because of Your Son who asks it of
You.
7. But yet, how the Lord must esteem this love we have for
one another! Indeed, Jesus could have put other virtues first
and said: forgive us, Lord, because we do a great deal of
penance or because we pray much and fast or because we have
left all for You and love You very much. He didn't say forgive
us because we would give up our lives for You, or, as I say,
because of other possible things. But He said only, "forgive us
because we forgive." Perhaps He said the prayer and offered it
on our behalf because He knows we are so fond of this
miserable honor and that to be forgiving is a virtue difficult for
us to attain by ourselves but most pleasing to His Father.
8. Well, consider carefully, Sisters, that He says, "as we
forgive," as though it were something already being done, as I
have mentioned.3 And pay very close attention, for when
among the favors God grants in the prayer of perfect con-
templation that I mentioned4 there doesn't arise in the soul a
very resolute desire to pardon any injury however grave it may
be and to pardon it in deed when the occasion arises, do not
trust much in that soul's prayer. And I don't refer to these
nothings that they call injuries. For the soul God brings to
Himself in so sublime a contemplation is not touched by these
wrongs nor does it care at all whether it is esteemed or not. I
didn't say this well, "nor does it care at all," for it is much more
afflicted by honor than by dishonor and by a lot of ease and
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 36
181
rest than by trials. For when truly the Lord has given His
kingdom here below, the soul no longer desires honor in this
world. And so as to reign more sublimely it understands that
the above-mentioned way is the true way; it has already seen
through experience the great gain and progress that comes to it
by suffering for God. Very seldom does God give such great
gifts, save to persons who have willingly undergone many trials
for Him. As I have said in another part of this book,5 the trials
of contemplatives are great, and so the Lord looks for con-
templatives among people who have been tested.
9. Now then, Sisters, realize that since these contemplatives
already know what everything is worth, they are not long
delayed by a passing thing. If at first a great affront or trial
causes pain, their reason comes to their rescue, before the pain
is fully felt, with another consideration as if to raise the banner
and almost annihilate the pain by means of joy. This joy comes
from their seeing that the Lord has placed in their hands
something by which they will gain more graces and perpetual
favors from His Majesty than they would in ten years through
trials they might wish to undertake on their own. This is very
common from what I understand, for I have dealt with manv
contemplatives and am certain that this is what happens. Just
as others prize gold and jewels, they prize trials and desire
them; they know that these latter are what will make them
rich.
10. Self-esteem is far removed from these persons. They like
others to know about their sins and like to tell about them when
they see themselves esteemed. The same is true in matters con-
cerning their lineage. They already know that in the kingdom
without end they will have nothing to gain from this. If they
should happen to be pleased to be of good descent, it's when this
would be necessary in order to serve God. When it isn't, it
grieves them to be taken for more than what they are; and
without any grief at all but gladly they disillusion others. So it is
with those to whom God grants the grace of this humility and
great love for Himself. In what amounts to His greater service,
they are already so forgetful of self that they can't even believe
that others feel some things and consider them an affront.
182
St. Teresa of Avila
1 1 . These effects I just mentioned are found in persons who
are closer to perfection and whom the Lord very habitually
favors by bringing to Himself through perfect contemplation.
But of the first effect, which is the resolve to suffer wrongs and
suffer them even though this may be painful, I say that it will
soon be possessed by anyone who has from the Lord this favor
of the prayer of union. If one doesn't experience these effects
and come away from prayer fortified in them, one may believe
that the favor was not from God but an illusion, or the devil's
gift bestowed so that we might consider ourselves more
honored.
12. It can happen that in the beginning when the Lord
grants these favors the soul will not immediately experience
this fortitude. But I say that in a short while if He continues to
grant them, it will have fortitude in this virtue of forgiving
others even though it may not have fortitude in other virtues. I
cannot believe that a person who comes so close to Mercy itself,
where he realizes what he is and the great deal God has par-
doned him of, would fail to pardon his offender immediately,
in complete ease, and with a readiness to remain on very good
terms with him. Such a person is mindful of the gift and favor
granted by God, by which he saw signs of great love; and he re-
joices that an opportunity is offered whereby he can show the
Lord some love.
13. I repeat that I know many persons whom the Lord has
favored by raising to supernatural things, giving them this
prayer or contemplation that was mentioned and, even though
I see other faults and imperfections in them, I have never seen
anyone with this one; nor do I believe that such a fault will be
present if the favors are from God, as I have said.6 The one
who receives greater favors should observe whether these ef-
fects are increasing within him. If he doesn't see any increase,
he should be afraid and refuse to believe that these gifts are
from God, as I have said. For God's favor always enriches the
soul it reaches. This is certain. Although the favor and gift
passes quickly, it is gradually recognized through the benefits
the soul receives. Since Jesus knows this well, He says resolutely
to His holy Father that "we pardon our debtors.''
The Way of Perfection Chap. 37
183
Chapter 37
Speaks of the excellence of this prayer, the Our Father, and of
how we shall in many ways find consolation in it.
WE OUGHT TO GIVE GREAT PRAISE to the Lord for the
sublime perfection of this evangelical prayer. Each of
us, daughters, can apply the prayer to her own needs since it
was composed by such a good Master. I marvel to see that in so
few words everything about contemplation and perfection is in-
cluded; it seems we need to study no other book than this one.
Up to now the Lord has taught us the whole way of prayer and
of high contemplation, from the beginning stages to mental
prayer, to the prayer of quiet, and to that of union; so much so
that, if I knew how to explain the matter, a large book on
prayer could be written based on this genuine foundation.1
From here on, the Lord begins to teach us about the effects of
His favors, as you have seen.
2. I have wondered why His Majesty did not explain more
about these sublime and obscure things that we might all know
about them. It has seemed to me that since this prayer was in-
tended for general use so that each one could petition accord-
ing to his own intention, be consoled, and think that he has a
good understanding of the prayer, the Lord left it in this
obscure form. Contemplatives and persons already very much
committed to God, who no longer desire earthly things, ask for
the heavenly favors that can, through God's goodness, be given
on earth. Those who still live on earth, and it is good that they
live in conformity with their state in life, may ask also for
bread. They must be sustained and must sustain their
households. Such a petition is very just and holy, and so also is
their petition for other things according to their needs.
3. But both should consider that two of the things men-
tioned pertain to all: giving Him our will and forgiving others.
True, there is a more and a less in the degree to which this is
done, as has been said.2 The perfect will give their will in the
way perfect souls do and forgive with that perfection that was
184
St. Teresa of Avila
mentioned. We, Sisters, will do what we can; the Lord receives
everything.3 It seems that on our behalf He makes a kind of
pact with His Eternal Father, like one who says: "You do this,
Lord, and My brothers will do that." Well, surely He doesn't
fail to do His part. Oh, oh, how well He pays! And He pays
without measure!
4. We can say this prayer only once in such a way that the
Lord will enrich us since He sees that we do so sincerely and are
determined to do what we say. He likes us to be truthful with
Him. If we speak plainly and clearly so that we don't say one
thing and then act differently, He always gives more than what
we ask of Him.
Our good Master knows this well. He knows that those who
ask with perfection will be filled with such favors from His
Father that they will reach a high state. In fact, those who are
already perfect or those who are approaching it are not afraid
of anything, nor should they be, since they have trampled the
world underfoot, as the saying goes. The Lord of the world is
pleased with them, and they have the greatest hope of this in
the effects of the favors He grants them. Absorbed in these
delights they don't want to remember even that there is a world
or that they have enemies.
5. O Eternal Wisdom! O good Teacher! What a wonderful
thing it is, daughters, to have a wise and cautious teacher who
foresees the dangers. This is the entire good that a spiritual
soul can desire here below because it provides great security.
One could not exaggerate the importance of this. Thus since
the Lord sees that it is necessary to awaken and remind us that
we have enemies, that it is very dangerous to be negligent with
regard to these enemies, and that we need much more help
from the Eternal Father because our fall will be from a higher
place, and so that we do not go about mistaken and without
self-knowledge, He makes the following petitions so necessary
for all as long as we live in this exile: "And lead us not, Lord,
into temptation; but deliver us from evil."
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 38
185
Chapter 38
Deals with the great need we have to beseech the Eternal
Father to grant us what we ask for in the words, Et ne nos in-
ducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a mak ; ind explains some
temptations. The subject matter is important .
WE HAVE GREAT THINGS to think about and understand
here, Sisters, because these things are what we are ask-
ing for. Now see, I am certain that those who reach perfection
do not ask the Lord to free them from trials or temptations or
persecutions or struggles. This is another very great and certain
effect of the contemplation and the favors His Majesty gives,
and of the Lord's Spirit rather than of an illusion. On the con-
trary, as I have said a little while ago,1 these persons desire, ask
for, and love trials. They are like soldiers who are happier
when there are more wars because they then hope to earn
more. If there is no war, they receive their wages but realize
they won't get rich.
2. Believe, Sisters, that the soldiers of Christ, those who ex-
perience contemplation and engage in prayer, are eager to
fight. They never fear public enemies very much; they already
recognize them and know that these enemies have no power
against the strength the Lord gives and that they themselves
always come out the victors and with much gain. They never
turn from these enemies. Those whom they fear — and it is
right they fear and always ask the Lord to be freed from
them — are the traitorous enemies, the devils who transfigure
themselves into angels of light,2 who come disguised. Not until
they have done much harm to the soul do they allow themselves
to be recognized. They suck away our blood and destroy our
virtues, and we go about in the midst of the same temptation
but do not know it. With regard to these enemies, daughters,
let us ask and often beg the Lord in the Our Father to free us
and not let us walk into temptation, so that they will not draw
us into error or hide the light and truth from us, that the
poison will be discovered. Oh, how rightly does our good
Master ask this for us and teach us to ask for it.
186
St. Teresa of Avila
3. Consider, daughters, the many ways these enemies can
cause harm. Don't think they do so only by making us suppose
that the delights and consolations they can feign in us are from
God. This seems to me the least harm — in part — they can
cause; rather, it could be that by means of this they will make
one advance more quickly. For, in being fed on that delight,
such a person will spend more hours in prayer. Since he doesn't
know that the delight is from the devil and since he sees he is
unworthy of those consolations, he doesn't stop thanking God.
He will feel greater obligation to serve Him and, thinking the
favors come from the hand of the Lord, he will strive to dispose
himself so that God will grant him more.
4. Strive always, Sisters, for humility and to see that you are
unworthy of these favors; do not seek them. I hold that the
devil loses many souls who strive for this humility. He thinks he
is going to bring them to perdition, but the Lord draws good
from the evil the devil aims at. His Majesty looks at our inten-
tion, which is to please and serve Him and remain with Him in
prayer; and the Lord is faithful.3 It's good to be on one's guard
lest there be a break in humility, or some vainglory emerge. If
you beseech the Lord to free you from this, do not fear,
daughters, that His Majesty will allow you to be favored very
much by anyone other than Himself.
5. The way the devil can do a great deal of harm, without
our realizing it, is to make us believe we have virtues when we
do not. This is a pestilence.4 In regard to the delights and con-
solations, it seems merely that we are receiving and that we
have the greater obligation to serve. In regard to our thinking
we are virtuous, it seems we are serving and giving and that the
Lord is obliged to pay. Thus little by little this latter notion
does great harm. On the one hand it weakens humility, and on
the other hand we grow careless about acquiring that virtue we
think we have already acquired. Well, what is the remedy,
Sisters? That which seems best to me is what our Master
teaches us: prayer and supplication to the Eternal Father not to
let us enter into temptation.5
6. I also want to tell you something else. If it seems the Lord
The Way of Perfection Chap. 38
187
has already given us virtue, let us understand that actually it
has been received and that He can take it away, as in fact often
happens, but not without His wonderful providence. Haven't
you ever seen this for yourselves, Sisters? I have. Sometimes I
think I am very detached; and as a matter of fact when put to
the test, I am. At another time I will find myself so attached,
and perhaps to things that the day before I would have made
fun of, that I almost don't know myself. At other times I think I
have great courage and that I wouldn't turn from anything of
service to God; and when put to the test, I do have this courage
for some things. Another day will come in which I won't find
the courage in me to kill even an ant for God if in doing so I'd
meet with any opposition. In like manner it seems to me that I
don't care at all about things or gossip said of me; and when
I'm put to the test this is at times true — indeed I am pleased
about what they say. Then there come days in which one word
alone distresses me, and I would want to leave the world
because it seems everything is a bother to me. And I am not
alone in this. I have noticed it in many persons better than I,
and know that it so happens.
7. Now since this is true, who will be able to say of himself
that he is virtuous or rich? For at the very moment when there
is need of virtue one finds oneself poor. No, Sisters; but let us
always think we are poor, and not go into debt when we do not
have the means with which to repay. The treasure will have to
come from elsewhere, and we do not know when the Lord will
want to leave us in the prison of our misery without giving us
anything. And if others in thinking that we are good, bestow
favor and honor on us — which is the borrowing I men-
tioned—both they and we ourselves will have been fooled.
True, if we serve with humility, the Lord in the end will succor
us in our needs; but if this poverty of spirit is not genuinely
present at every step, as they say, the Lord will abandon us.
And this abandonment by the Lord is one of His greatest
favors, for He does it so that we might be humble and under-
stand in truth that we have nothing we haven't received.
8. Now, then, take note of some other advice: the devil
188
St. Teresa of Avila
makes us think we have a virtue, let's say of patience because
we resolve and make very frequent acts of willingness to suffer
much for God, and it seems to us as a matter of fact that we
would suffer much; so we are very satisfied, for the devil helps
us to believe this. I advise you not to pay any attention to these
virtues; let us neither think we know them other than by name
nor, until we see the proof, think the Lord has given them to
us. For it will happen that with one displeasing word spoken to
you, your patience will go tumbling to the ground. When you
suffer often, praise God that He is beginning to teach you this
virtue of patience and strive to endure, for the suffering is a
sign that in this way He wants you to pay for the virtue. He
gives it to you, and you do not possess it save as though on
deposit, as has already been said.6
9. The devil brings about another temptation. We think we
are very poor in spirit and have the habit of saying that we
don't desire anything or that we couldn't care less about
anything. But hardly does the occasion arise to receive a
gift — even if it would be more than we need — than our poverty
of spirit is completely ruined. So often do we say we have this
virtue that we end up believing we have it.
Great is the importance of always being careful to under-
stand this temptation, both in the things I have mentioned as
well as in many others. For when the Lord truly gives one of
these solid virtues, it seems it carries all the others in its wake.
This is something felt very clearly. But I again warn you that
even though it seems you possess it, you should fear lest you be
mistaken. The truly humble person always walks in doubt
about his own virtues, and usually those he sees in his
neighbors seem more certain and more valuable.
The Way of Perfection Chap. 39
189
Chapter 39
Continues the same subject, gives advice about some different
kinds of temptations, and sets down two remedies by which to
free oneself from them.
NOW BE ALSO ON YOUR GUARD, daughters, against
some types of humility given by the devil in which great
disquiet is felt about the gravity of our sins. This disturbance
can afflict in many ways even to the point of making one give
up receiving Communion and practicing private prayer.1
These things are given up because the devil makes one feel un-
worthy. And when such persons approach the Blessed Sacra-
ment, the time they used to spend in receiving favors is now
spent in wondering whether or not they are well prepared. The
situation gets so bad that the soul thinks God has abandoned it
because of what it is; it almost doubts His mercy. Everything it
deals with seems dangerous, and what it uses, however good,
seems fruitless. It feels such distrust of itself that it folds its
arms and remains idle; what is good in others seems evil when
the soul sees it within its own self.
2. Consider carefully, daughters, the matter I'm going to
speak to you about, for sometimes it will be through humility
and virtue that you hold yourselves to be so wretched, and at
other times it will be a gross temptation. I know of this because
I have gone through it. Humility does not disturb or disquiet or
agitate, however great it may be; it comes with peace, delight,
and calm. Even though a person upon seeing himself so
wretched understands clearly that he merits to be in hell, suf-
fers affliction, thinks everyone should injustice abhor him, and
almost doesn't dare ask for mercy, his pain, if the humility is
genuine, comes with a sweetness in itself and a satisfaction that
he wouldn't want to be without. The pain of genuine humility
doesn't agitate or afflict the soul; rather, this humility expands
it and enables it to serve God more. The other type of pain
disturbs everything, agitates everything, afflicts the entire soul,
and is very painful. I think the devil's aim is to make us think
190
St. Teresa of A vila
we are humble and, in turn, if possible, make us lose con-
fidence in God.
When you find yourselves in this condition, stop thinking
about your misery, insofar as possible, and turn your thoughts
to the mercy of God, to how He loves us and suffered for us.
And if you are undergoing a temptation, you will not even be
able to do this, for the devil will not let you quiet your mind or
concentrate on anything unless so as to tire you all the more. It
will be enough if you recognize that this is a temptation.2
Likewise he tempts us in regard to excessive penances so that
we might think we are more penitential than others and are do-
ing something. If you hide them from your confessor or prioress,
or if when told to stop you do not do so, you are clearly undergo-
ing a temptation. Strive to obey, even if this may be more pain-
ful for you, since the greatest perfection lies in obedience.
4. The devil sets up another dangerous temptation: self-
assurance in the thought that we will in no way return to our
past faults and worldly pleasures: "for now I have understood
the world and know that all things come to an end and that the
things of God give me greater delight." If this self-assurance is
present in beginners, it is very dangerous because with it a per-
son doesn't take care against entering once more into the occa-
sions of sin, and he falls flat; please God the relapse will not
bring about something much worse. For since the devil sees
that he is dealing with a soul that can do him harm and bring
profit to others, he uses all his power so that it might not rise.
Thus, however many delights and pledges of love the Lord
gives you, never proceed with such self-assurance that you stop
fearing lest you fall again; and be on guard against the occa-
sions of sin.
5. Strive, without hiding anything, to discuss these favors
and consolations with someone who will enlighten you. And
take care about this: however sublime the contemplation, let
your prayer always begin and end with self-knowledge. And if
the favor is from God, even though you may not want to follow
the advice, you will still follow it most of the time because
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 39
191
God's favor brings humility and always leaves greater light that
we may understand the little that we are.
I don't want to enlarge on this any more, for you will find
many books with such advice. I have said what I did because I
have experienced it and found myself in trouble at times. All
that we say, however much it is, cannot give us complete
security.
6. Thus, Eternal Father, what can we do but have recourse
to You and pray that these enemies of ours not lead us into
temptation? Let public enemies come, for by Your favor we
will be more easily freed. But these other treacheries; who will
understand them, my God? We always need to pray to You for
a remedy. Instruct us, Lord, so that we may understand
ourselves and be secure. You already know that few take this
path; but if they have to travel it with so many fears, many
fewer will take it.
7. What a strange thing! It's as though the devil tempts only
those who take the path of prayer. And everyone is more sur-
prised by a mistake of one of those who are nearing perfection
than by the public mistakes and sins of a hundred thousand
others. With these latter mistakes there is no need to consider
whether they are good or bad, for from a thousand-leagues
distance one recognizes that they come from Satan.
As a matter of fact people are right in being surprised, for
among those who recite the Our Father as was explained there
are so very few deceived by the devil that as something new and
unusual their mistake causes surprise. It is something very com-
mon among mortals that they pass over easily what they con-
tinually see, and wonder about what seldom or almost never
happens. And the devil himself causes them to be surprised,
for this surprise is to his advantage; he loses many souls
through one who reaches perfection. [And I say that this is so
surprising I do not marvel that others are surprised. Unless it is
very much due to their own fault, souls who practice prayer
walk so much more securely than those who take another road.
They are like those in the stands watching the bull in com-
parison with one who is right in front of its horns. I have heard
this comparison, and it seems to me true to the letter.
192
St. Teresa of Avila
Do not fear, Sisters, to travel these paths, for in prayer there
are many. Some souls profit by one path, and others by
another, as I have said. Prayer is a safe road; you will be more
quickly freed from temptation when close to the Lord than
when far. Beseech Him and ask Him to deliver you from evil as
you do so often each day in the Our Father.]
Chapter 40
Tells how by striving always to walk in the love and the fear of
God we will proceed safely among so many temptations.
NOW THEN, GOOD MASTER, teach us how to live
without any sudden assault in so dangerous a war. What
we can have, daughters, and what His Majesty gave us are love
and fear. Love will quicken our steps; fear will make us watch
our steps to avoid falling along the way. On this way there are
many stumbling blocks for all of us who are alive and continue
our journey. With this fear we will be secure against being
deceived.
2. You will ask me how you can tell if you have these two vir-
tues which are so great; and you are right in doing so, for you
cannot be very certain and definite about them. If we possess
love, we are certainly in the state of grace. But reflect, Sisters,
that there are some signs that even the blind, it seems, see.
They are manifest signs, though you may not want to recognize
them. They cry out loudly, for not many possess them perfect-
ly; and hence these signs are more obvious. Love and fear of
God: what more could you ask for! They are like two fortified
castles from which one can wage war on the world and the
devils.
3. Those who truly love God, love every good, desire every
good, favor every good, praise every good. They always join,
favor, and defend good people. They have no love for anything
but truth and whatever is worthy of love. Do you think it is
possible for a person who really loves God to love vanities? No,
indeed, he cannot; nor can he love riches, or worldly things, or
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 40
193
delights, or honors, or strife, or envy. All of this is so because
he seeks only to please the Beloved. These persons go about dy-
ing so that their Beloved might love them, and thus they
dedicate their lives to learning how they might please Him
more. Hide itself? Oh, with regard to the love of God — if it is
genuine love — this is impossible. If you don't think so, look at
St. Paul or the Magdalene. Within three days the one began to
realize that he was sick with love; that was St. Paul. The
Magdalene knew from the first day; and how well she knew!
Love has this characteristic: it can be greater or lesser in
degree. Thus, the love makes itself known according to its in-
tensity. When slight, it shows itself but slightly; when strong, it
shows itself strongly. But where there is love of God, whether
little or great, it is always recognized.
4. However, the things with which we are now dealing more
specifically, the deceptions and illusions the devil brings on
contemplatives, are not few. With contemplatives there is
always much love, or they wouldn't be contemplatives; and so
their love is clearly recognized and in many ways. It is a great
fire; it cannot but shine brightly. And if this splendor is not
present, they should walk with serious misgivings; they should
believe that they indeed have many reasons for fear; they
should strive to understand these; they should pray, walk with
humility, and beseech the Lord not to lead them into tempta-
tion. For certainly if this sign isn't present, I fear we may walk
into temptation. But if one proceeds with humility, strives to
know the truth, is subject to a confessor, and communicates
with him openly and truthfully, it will come about, as has been
said,1 that the things by which the devil intends to cause death
will cause life, however many the haunting illusions he wants to
scare you with.
5. But if you feel this love of God I've mentioned and the
fear I shall now speak of,2 rejoice and be at peace. In order to
disturb your soul so that you will not enjoy these wonderful
blessings the devil will set a thousand false fears before you and
strive that others do so. Since he cannot win us over, he can at
least try to make us lose something. He may strive to make souls
lose when they might have gained a great deal by thinking that
194
St. Teresa of Avila
his favors are from God and are bestowed on creatures as
wretched as themselves and that it is possible for God to grant
favors — for it seems sometimes we have forgotten about the
Lord's ancient mercies.3
6. Do you think it matters little to the devil to set up these
fears? No, it matters a great deal, for he causes two kinds of
harm. First, those who listen to him are struck with a terror of
approaching prayer, for they think they will be deceived. Sec-
ond, if it were not for these fears many more would come closer
to God in seeing that He is so good, as I have said,4 and that it
is possible for Him now to communicate so much with sinners.
They covet these favors. And they are right, for I know some
persons who were encouraged by such favors and began
prayer; and in a short while the favors became authentic, and
the Lord granted them great ones.
7. So, Sisters, when you see among yourselves someone to
whom the Lord gives favors, praise the Lord very much but
don't think she is for this reason safe; rather help her with more
prayer. No one can be safe while living and engulfed in the
dangers of this tempestuous sea.
You will not fail to recognize this love where it is present, nor
do I know how it can be concealed.5 If we love creatures here
on earth, it's impossible, we are told, to hide this, and the more
we do to hide it the more it is revealed (and it is something so
lowly that it doesn't merit the name "love," for it is grounded
on nothing). And could one conceal a love that is so strong and
just that it always increases and sees no reason to stop since its
foundation is made from the cement of being repaid by
another love? This other love can no longer be doubted since it
was shown so openly and with so many sufferings and trials,
and with the shedding of blood even to the point of death in
order that we might have no doubt about it. Oh, God help me,
how different must the love of God be from the love of
creatures for whoever has experienced the former!
8. May it please His Majesty to give us His love before He
takes us out of this life, for it will be a great thing at the hour of
death to see that we are going to be judged by the One whom
we have loved above all things. We shall be able to proceed
The Way of Perfection Chap. 40
195
securely with the judgment concerning our debts. It will not be
like going to a foreign country but like going to our own,
because it is the country of one whom we love so much and who
loves us. [In this love — besides everything else — there is greater
security than with earthly loves; in loving God we are certain
that He loves us.] Remember here, my daughters, the gain
there is in this love, and the loss in not having it. Such a loss
puts us in the hands of the enemy, in hands so cruel, hands so
hostile toward everything good, and so fond of everything bad.
9. What will become of the poor soul that, after being freed
from the sufferings and trials of death, falls immediately into
these hands? What terrible rest it receives! How mangled as it
goes to hell! What a multitude of different kinds of serpents!
What a terrifying place! What a wretched inn! If it is hard for a
self-indulgent person (for such are the ones who will be more
likely to go there) to spend one night in a bad inn, what do you
think that sad soul will feel at being in this kind of inn forever,
without end?
Let us not desire delights, daughters; we are well-off here;
the bad inn lasts for only a night. Let us praise God; let us force
ourselves to do penance in this life. How sweet will be the death
of one who has done penance for all his sins, of one who won't
have to go to purgatory! Even from here below you can begin to
enjoy glory! You will find no fear within yourself but complete
peace.
10. As long as we have not reached this state, Sisters, let us
beseech God that if therefore we are to receive sufferings, they
will be received here below. For, with the hope of being freed
from them, we can bear them here willingly, and we will not
lose His friendship and grace. Let us beseech Him to give us
His grace in this life so that we will not walk unawares into
temptation.6
196
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 41
Speaks of the fear of God and of how we must be on guard
against venial sins.
HOW LENGTHY I HAVE BEEN! But not as lengthy as I
wanted to be, for it is a delight to speak about the love of
God. What will it be like to possess it? May the Lord give it to
me because of who His Majesty is. [Let me not leave this life, O
my Lord, until I no longer desire anything in it; neither let me
know any love outside of You, Lord, nor let me succeed in us-
ing this term "love" for anyone else. Everything is false since
the foundation is false, and so the edifice doesn't last. I don't
know why we are surprised. I laugh to myself when I hear it
said: "That person repaid me badly." "This other one doesn't
love me." What does anyone have to repay you for, or why
should anyone love you? This experience will show you what
the world is, for your very love for it will afterward punish you.
And this is what wears you down: you realize you have let your
affection become involved like children in their games.]1
Now let us deal with the fear of God.2 This trait is also
something easily recognized by the person who has it as well as
by those who approach him. But I want you to understand that
in the beginning it is not so developed, unless in some persons
to whom, as I have said,3 the Lord grants great favors, for in a
short time He makes them rich in virtue. Hence this fear isn't
discernible in everyone — at the outset, I mean. It goes on in-
creasing in strength each day. But it is soon recognized because
in the beginning one starts to turn away from sin and its occa-
sions and from bad companions; and other signs as well are
seen. But once the soul has reached contemplation — which is
what we are now dealing with most — the fear of God also, as
with love, becomes very manifest; it doesn't disguise itself even
exteriorly. Despite the fact that you may watch these persons
very carefully, you will not see them become careless. For no
matter how long we observe them, the Lord keeps them in such
a way that even if a thing very much to their own interest
comes along, they will not advertently commit a venial sin;
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 41
197
mortal sins they fear like fire. And illusions involving sin are
the ones I would want us, Sisters, to be very much afraid of.
Let us beseech God always that the temptation may not be so
strong as to make us offend Him, that its strength might not
outweigh the fortitude He gives us to conquer it. This fear is
what is important; it is what I desire may never be taken from
us, for it is what will help us.
2. Oh, what a great thing it is to have resisted offending the
Lord so that His slaves and servants in hell may be bound; for
in the end all must serve Him despite themselves. But those in
hell do so by force, whereas we do so willingly. Therefore, if we
please the Lord, those in hell will be kept bound; they will not
do anything that may be harmful to us however much they
might draw us into temptation and set secret snares for us.
3. Be careful and attentive this is very important — until
you see that you are strongly determined not to offend the
Lord, that you would lose a thousand lives rather than commit
a mortal sin, and that you are most careful not to commit
venial sins — that is, advertently; for otherwise, who can go
without committing many? But there is an advertence that is
very deliberate; another that comes so quickly that committing
the venial sin and adverting to it happen almost together in
such a way that we don't first realize what we are doing. But
from any very deliberate sin, however small it be, may God
deliver us. [I don't know how we could be so bold as to go
against such a great Lord, even though it be in something very
small.] What's more, there is nothing small if it goes against
His immense Majesty and we see He is looking at us. It seems to
me a sin is very deliberate when, for example, one says: "Lord,
although this grieves You, I will do it; I'm already aware that
You see it, and I know You do not want it, and I understand
this; but I want to follow my whim and appetite more than
Your will." It doesn't seem to me possible that something like
this can be called little, however light the fault; but it's serious,
very serious. [For the love of God, daughters, never become
careless in this regard; now — glory be to the Lord— you are
not.]
4. Consider, Sisters, for the love of God, if you want to gain
198
St. Teresa of A vila
this fear of the Lord, that it is very helpful to understand the
seriousness of an offense against God and to reflect on this fre-
quently in your thoughts; for it is worth our life and much
more to have this virtue rooted in our souls. And until you have
it, you must always proceed carefully and turn from every oc-
casion and companion who does not help you come closer to
God. We should take great care in everything we do to bend
our will, and take care that our speech be edifying; we must
flee those places where conversations are not of God.
It's very necessary that this fear be deeply impressed within
the soul. Such fear is easy to obtain if there is true love together
with a great inner determination, as I have said,4 not to com-
mit an offense against God for any created thing, even though
afterward the soul may sometimes fall because we are weak and
have no reason to trust ourselves. When we are more deter-
mined we are less confident of ourselves, for confidence must
be placed in God. When we understand this that I said about
ourselves, there will be no need to go about so tense and con-
strained; the Lord will protect us, and the habit acquired will
now be a help against offending Him. The need instead will be
to go about with a holy freedom, conversing with those who are
good even though they may be somewhat worldly. For those
who, before you possessed this authentic fear of God, were a
poison and a means of killing the soul will afterward often be a
help to your loving and praising God more because He has
freed you from that which you recognize as a glaring danger. If
previously you played a part in contributing to their
weaknesses, now by your mere presence you contribute to their
restraint; this happens without their having any idea of paying
you honor.
5. I often praise the Lord, thinking how it comes about that
often a servant of God, without uttering a word, prevents
things from being said against God. This must happen for the
same reason that something similar happens here below: there
is always some restraint so as not to offend an absent person in
the presence of someone known to be his friend. So it is with a
servant of God: his friendship with God wins him respect no
matter how lowly his status, and others avoid afflicting him in
The Way of Perfection- Chap. 41
199
a matter they so well realize would grieve him; that is, they
avoid offending God in his presence. The fact is that I don't
know the reason for this, but I do know that it's a common oc-
currence. So do not be tense, for if you begin to feel con-
strained, such a feeling will be very harmful to everything
good, and at times you will end up being scrupulous and
become incapable of doing anything for yourself or for others.
And if you don't end up being scrupulous, this constraint will
be good for you but it will not bring many souls to God,
because they will see so much repression and tenseness. Our
nature is such that this constraint is frightening and oppressive
to others, and they flee from following the road that you are
taking, even though they know clearly that it is the more vir-
tuous path.
6. Another harm derives from this attitude; it is that of
judging others. There are those who advance with greater
holiness and in order to be of benefit to their neighbor speak
with him freely and without this constraint; but since they do
not journey by your path they at once seem to you to be im-
perfect. If they have a holy joy, it will seem to be dissipation,
especially to those of us who have no learning or knowledge of
what one can speak about without sinning. This constraint is a
very dangerous thing; it means going about in continual temp-
tation and it bears ill effects; it is detrimental to your neighbor.
To think that if all do not proceed as you do, in this con-
strained way, they are not proceeding well is extremely wrong.
And there is another harm: in some things of which you
must speak, and it is right that you speak, you don't dare do so
for fear of going to extremes; rather, perhaps, you speak well
of something that it would be very good for you to abhor.
7. So, Sisters, strive as much as you can, without offense to
God, to be affable and understanding in such a way that
everyone you talk to will love your conversation and desire your
manner of living and acting, and not be frightened and in-
timidated by virtue. This is very important for religious; the
holier they are the more sociable they are with their Sisters.
And even though you may feel very distressed if all your Sisters'
conversations do not go as you would like them to, never turn
200
St. Teresa of Avila
away from them if you want to help your Sisters and be loved.
This is what we must strive for earnestly, to be affable,
agreeable, and pleasing to persons with whom we deal,
especially our Sisters.
8. Thus, my daughters, strive to think rightly about God,
for He doesn't look at trifles as much as you think, and don't
lose your courage or allow your soul to be constrained, for
many blessings could be lost. Have the right intention, a
resolute will, as I have said,5 not to offend God. Don't let your
soul withdraw into a corner, for instead of obtaining sanctity
you will obtain many imperfections that the devil in other ways
will place before you; and, as I have said,6 you will not be of as
much benefit to yourself or to others as you could have been.
9. Here you see how, with these two virtues — love and fear
of God — you can advance on this road calmly and quietly, but
not carelessly since fear must always take the lead. As long as
we live, we will never have complete security; that would be a
great danger. And this is what our Teacher understood when
at the end of this prayer He spoke these words to His Father as
one who well understood they were necessary.7
Chapter 42
Discusses these last words of the Our Father: Sed libera nos a
malo. Amen. But deliver us from evil. Amen.
IT SEEMS TO ME JESUS WAS RIGHT to include Himself in
this petition, for we already see how tired He was of this life
when He said to His Apostles at the last supper: / have greatly
desired to eat this supper with you. 1 Here we see how weary He
must have been of living. Nowadays people don't tire of living
even if they go on to be a hundred, but always want to live
longer. True, we don't suffer in life as much evil and as many
trials as His Majesty suffered, nor such poverty. What was His
whole life if not a continual death, in which He always saw
beforehand that most cruel death they were going to inflict on
Him? And this was the least of His sufferings; but how many
The Way of Perfection-Chap. 42
201
offenses committed against His Father and what a multitude of
souls that were lost! If one who possesses charity here on earth
finds all this a great torment, what must have been the Lord's
torment, with His boundless and immeasurable charity? And
what a good reason He had to beseech the Father to free Him
finally from so many evils and trials and bring Him to rest
forever in the Father's kingdom, since He was its true inheritor!
2. Amen. By the "amen" I understand that since with this
word all things come to an end, the Lord asks likewise that we
be freed from all evil forever. [It is useless, Sisters, to think that
while we live we can be free of many temptations and im-
perfections and even sins, for it is said that whoever thinks he is
without sin deceives himself2 — and this is true. Now, if we turn
to bodily ailments and hardships, who is without very many
and in many ways? Nor is it good that we ask to be without
them.
Well, then, let us understand what we are asking for here
since it seems impossible to say "from all evil," whether of the
body or, as I have said, of imperfections and faults in the serv-
ice of God. I am not speaking about the saints — they can do
everything in Christ, as St. Paul said3 — but sinners like myself.
I see myself closed in by weakness, lukewarmness, and a lack of
mortification, and many other things. I see that it behooves me
to ask the Lord for a remedy. You, daughters, ask according to
what you think. I do not find this remedy while living, and so I
ask the Lord to deliver me from all evil forever. What good do
we find in this life, Sisters, since we lack so much good and are
absent from Him?
Deliver me, Lord, from this shadow of death, deliver me
from so many trials, deliver me from so many sufferings, deliver
me from so many changes, from so many compliments that we
are forced to receive while still living, from so many, many,
many things that tire and weary me, that would tire anyone
reading this if I mentioned them all. There's no longer anyone
who can bear to live. This weariness must come to me because I
have lived so badly, and from seeing that the way I live now is
still not the way I should live since I owe so much.] Thus I
beseech the Lord to deliver me from all evil forever since I do
202
St. Teresa of Avila
not make up for what I owe; it could be that perhaps each day
I become more indebted. And what is unendurable, Lord, is
not to know for certain that I love You or that my desires are
acceptable before You. O my Lord and my God, deliver me
now from all evil and be pleased to bring me to the place where
all blessings are. What do they still hope for here, those to
whom You have given knowledge of what the world is, and
those who have a living faith concerning what the Eternal
Father has kept for them?
3. To ask for these blessings with great desire and complete
determination is a clear sign for contemplatives that the favors
they receive in prayer are from God. Thus those who have this
sign should esteem their prayer highly. In the case of my asking
for these things the same is not true; I mean that it shouldn't be
interpreted as a sign of divine favors; but since I have lived so
badly, I fear living still longer; and so many trials weary me. It
is no surprise that those who have a share in the consolations of
God desire to be there where they will enjoy them more than in
mere sips, that they do not want to remain in a life where there
are these many obstacles to the enjoyment of so much good,
and that they desire to be where the Sun of justice4 does not set.
Everything they afterward see here below will be completely
dark to them, and I marvel at how they live. They could not
live with any contentment if they have received and already
begun to enjoy the Lord's kingdom here below. And such a
person must not live for his own will but for the will of his King.
4. Oh, how different this life would have to be in order for
one not to desire death! How our will deviates in its inclination
from that which is the will of God. He wants us to love truth;
we love the lie. He wants us to desire the eternal; we, here
below, lean toward what comes to an end. He wants us to
desire sublime and great things; we, here below, desire base
and earthly things. He would want us to desire only what is
secure; we, here below, love the dubious. Everything is a
mockery, my daughters, except beseeching God to free us from
these dangers forever and draw us at last away from every evil.
Even though our desire may not be perfect, let us force
ourselves to make the request. What does it cost us to ask for a
The Way of Perfection Chap. 42
203
great deal? We are asking it of One who is powerful. But in
order to be right, let us leave the giving to His will since we
have already given Him our own. His name be forever hal-
lowed in heaven and on earth, and may His will be always done
in me. Amen.
[Here you see, friends, what it means to pray vocally with
perfection. It means that you be aware of and understand
whom you are asking, who it is that is asking, and what you are
asking for. When they tell you that it isn't good to practice any
other kind of prayer than vocal prayer, do not be distressed.
Read this very carefully, and what you do not understand
about prayer, beseech the Lord to teach you. For no one can
take vocal prayer from you or make you recite the Our Father
hastily and without understanding it. If some person should
take it from you or counsel you to give it up, do not believe
him. Believe that he is a false prophet and consider that in
these times of ours you don't have to believe everybody. Even
though there is nothing to fear from those who can counsel you
now, we don't know what will come in the future.
I have also thought of saying something to you about how to
recite the Hail Mary. But I have been so lengthy that I have to
let it go. It is enough for you to have understood how to recite
the Our Father well in order to know how to recite all the vocal
prayers you must recite.]
5. Now see, Sisters, how the Lord by giving me understand-
ing of the great deal we ask for when reciting this evangelical
prayer has removed the difficulty involved in my teaching you
and myself the path that I began to explain to you. May He be
blessed forever! Certainly, it never entered my mind that this
prayer contained so many deep secrets; for now you have seen
the entire spiritual way contained in it, from the beginning
stages until God engulfs the soul and gives it to drink abun-
dantly from the fount of living water, which He said was to be
found at the end of the way.5 [And having come out of it — I
mean of this prayer— I don't know how to go any further.]
It seems the Lord has desired to give us understanding,
Sisters, of the great consolation contained in this prayer. It is
highly beneficial to persons who don't know how to read. If
204
St. Teresa of A vila
they understand this prayer, they can draw a lot of doctrine
from it and find consolation there. [And when books are taken
away from us, this book cannot be taken away, for it comes
from the mouth of Truth itself, who cannot err. And since, as I
have said, we recite the Our Father so many times in a day, let
us delight in it and strive to learn from so excellent a Master
the humility with which He prays and all the other things that
were mentioned.]
6. Sisters, beg this good Master to pardon me, for I have
been bold to speak of such sublime things. His Majesty knows
well that my intellect would not have been capable of it if He
had not taught me what I have said. Be grateful to Him,
Sisters, for He must have done so because of the humility with
which you asked me and desired to be taught by someone so
miserable.
[Well, Sisters, it now seems the Lord doesn't want me to say
any more, for I don't know what to say; although I thought of
going on. The Lord has taught you and me the path that I
have described in the book I said I wrote,6 how one reaches this
fount of living water, what the soul feels there, how God
satisfies it, takes away thirst for earthly things, and makes it
grow in the things pertaining to the service of God. Those who
have reached this fount will find that book very beneficial and
receive much light from it. You may get it from Father Do-
mingo Banez, a presentado of the Order of St. Dominic, who
as I said is my confessor and the one to whom Til give this book.
If this one is all right for you to see and he gives it to you, he'll
also give you that other one.]
7. If he thinks this book will be helpful and gives it to you, I
will be consoled that you are consoled. If it should be such that
no one may see it, you can accept my good will, for by this work
I have obeyed your command. I consider myself well paid for
the trouble involved in writing it, for there has been no trouble
at all in thinking out what I have said.
May the Lord be blessed and praised; from Him comes every
good we speak of, think about, and do. Amen.
Meditations on
the Song of Songs
MEDITATIONS ON THE SONG OF SONGS
INTRODUCTION
ALTHOUGH AT BOTH the beginning and the end of
these meditations Teresa says she wrote them out of obe-
dience, the obviously main motivating force was her desire to
share with her Sisters the delight and the understanding she ex-
perienced in the Song of Songs. Her hope was that her
daughters would receive some of the consolation and
knowledge given to her when she heard those mysterious words
of love.1 Thus Teresa does not begin this work reluctantly or as
a sacrifice of obedience as she did some of her other writings.
Rather, she admits that "it consoles me to tell my meditations
to my daughters."2 Even if she fails to explain the understand-
ing of them that was given to her mystically, she reasons that
her time will have been well spent in reflecting on such sublime
themes.3 Furthermore, she felt that the Lord's love is so poorly
understood that people refuse to think of the mysteries con-
tained in these words "spoken by the Holy Spirit."4 "I know
someone who for a number of years had many fears, and
nothing gave her assurance, but the Lord was pleased that she
hear some words from the Song of Songs, and through them
she understood that her soul was being well guided. As I have
said, she understood that it was possible for a soul in love with
its Spouse to experience all these favors, swoons, deaths, afflic-
tions, delights, and joys in relation to Him."5 Teresa reasoned
that it was wrong that women were being prevented from en-
joying the riches contained in God's words and works.6
207
208
St. Teresa of Avila
Historical Context
The daring behind her Meditations can only be grasped
somewhat if we consider the prevalent attitude in Spain at the
time with regard to the Scriptures. The vernacular versions of
the Bible were neither as numerous nor as important as in
other countries of Europe, for the Spanish Inquisition acted as
a tight check on them. There is an example of the seriousness
of the situation in the life of Fray Luis de Leon who made a
literal prose translation of the Song of Songs; the circulation of
this version in manuscript form was one of the charges brought
against him by the Inquisition and led to his imprisonment
from 1572-1576.
In the fourth session of the Council of Trent in 1546, the
suitability of translating the Bible into the language of the peo-
ple was debated. The Spanish theologians were opposed; and
though the Council in the end made no legislation about the
matter, Spain, on its own, included vernacular versions of the
Bible in its indexes of forbidden books. The reasoning behind
this prohibition is expressed by Archbishop Carranza when he
points to particular cases of error that arose because simple
and unlearned people read parts of Scripture without
understanding them. The prohibitions affected mainly women
and unlearned people because they were the ones, it was
thought, who could more easily fall into error through the free
examen of the Sacred text.
The Spanish indexes that would have affected Teresa were
those of the Inquisitor, Fernando Valdes, published in 1551,
1554, and 1559. In them, both the publication and the reading
of Sacred Scripture in the vernacular were forbidden. It was
permissible, however, to provide translations of Scriptural
passages in spiritual books. The spiritual writers as a result
made such ample use of this permission that the claim has been
made that a Bible in the vernacular could have been con-
structed from the Scriptural citations that filled the pages of
these works.
In light of such facts, Teresa could not have had access to
Meditations on the Song of Songs Introduction 209
the Bible in the vernacular; and therefore she could not have
used a Bible for her meditations. With respect to the verses
from the Song of Songs that she uses, there are a number of
ways in which she may have come to know them and cite them
in her own tongue.
We know she read verses in Latin in the breviary and
understood the meaning despite her lack of knowledge of
Latin. She tells us this herself: 'Tor a number of years now the
Lord has given me great delight each time I hear or read some
words from Solomon's Song of Songs. The delight is so great
that without understanding the vernacular meaning of the
Latin, my soul is stirred and recollected more than by devo-
tional books written in the language I understand. And this
happens almost all the time, and even when the Latin words
were translated for me into the vernacular I did not under-
stand the text any more."7
It is possible that she may have used a translation from some
Office of the Blessed Virgin, from one of the many copies of
the Spanish Book of Hours. She suggests this possibility when
she says: "And thus you can see, daughters, in the Office of our
Lady which we recite each week, how much in its antiphons
and readings is taken from this Song of Songs."*
She may have asked some learned man or confessor for a
translation. This possibility is indicated in her statement that
she questioned learned men about what the Holy Spirit meant
by the verses.9 And it is possible she may have gotten the
passages from some spiritual book.
The Word of God
A study of Teresa's life shows clearly enough that she re-
ceived no education in Sacred Scripture. Nonetheless, one is
amazed by her knowledge and use of the Scriptures despite this
lack of formal training and the limited access she had to the
contents of the Bible. Without any previous understanding of
210
St. Teresa of Avila
the meaning of a passage, without a knowledge even of the ex-
act meaning of the words, the text being in Latin, she would
suddenly penetrate, through mystical experience, to the deep-
est sense contained there and taste and enjoy it. "And, in fact,
it has happened to me that while in this quietude, and under-
standing hardly anything of the Latin prayers, especially of the
psalter, I have not only understood how to render the Latin
verse in the vernacular but have gone beyond to rejoicing in the
meaning of the verse."10 The obstacle to an understanding of
this kind is not lack of learning but sin. "Since such persons
have no love, they can easily read the Song of Songs every day
and not themselves become involved with the words; nor would
they even dare take these words on their lips/111
By all of this Teresa did not mean that her experience was
the criterion for judging Scripture; the contrary was true. She
recognized that there are those who by profession have the
obligation to explain the Scriptures and are thus required to
work hard at their task; and she believed that much could be
gained through their careful studies. Yet even these learned
masters of the Scriptures whom she humbly consulted admit-
ted to her with respect to the Song of Songs that the doctors
had written many commentaries and had never finished ex-
plaining the words.12 Understanding the awesomeness of the
task of interpreting the Scriptures, Teresa at one point ex-
claims: "For one word of His will contain within itself a thou-
sand mysteries, and thus our understanding is only very
elementary."1 3 The attitude, then, that must accompany
anyone's approach to the Bible is humility. The supreme ex-
ample of this humility is found in the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Once the angel had responded to her question and told her
how the word of God would be accomplished, "she engaged in
no further discussion." And then, in an occurrence rare in her
writings, Teresa expresses displeasure with some learned men
and sharply observes: "She did not act as do some learned men
(whom the Lord does not lead by this mode of prayer and who
haven't begun a life of prayer), for they want to be so rational
about things and so precise in their understanding that it
doesn't seem anyone else but they with their learning can
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Introduction
211
understand the grandeurs of God. If only they could learn
something from the humility of the most Blessed Virgin!"14
In keeping with the custom followed by spiritual writers and
preachers in her day, Teresa often uses Scripture in an accom-
modated sense. On the other hand an abundance of instances
can be cited in which her use of Scripture corresponds general-
ly with the literal meaning. Through her mystical experience,
moreover, she was able to penetrate to the deepest content of
the Biblical texts; and this is especially true when these texts
center on such themes as: God's truth and fidelity;15 the in-
dwelling of the Blessed Trinity; 1 6 union with Christ in both His
humanity and divinity;17 and the peace of Christ.18
Justifiably, the Song of Songs may be applied, as it has been
in Christian tradition, to the mutual love between Christ and
His Church, the Blessed Virgin Mary, or the individual soul.
Generally speaking, there can be noted in the Song a crescendo
in both the love and the intimacy between bride and
bridegroom. The culmination, at least according to a large
number of exegetes, lies in the total gift of marriage. If this is
applied to an individual member of Christ's Church, then who
better than a soul that has experienced them can understand
the "favors, swoons, deaths, afflictions, delights, and joys" that
accompany the ascent to total union with God?
In her reflections on the Song, Teresa covers only a few
verses of the entire text. While admitting their perfect applica-
tion to the Blessed Virgin Mary,19 she chooses to concentrate
on an interpretation that speaks of the love between Christ and
the soul.
Copies and Date of Composition
Jerome Gratian, who edited and published this work for the
first time in Brussels in 1611, gives the reason the autograph
has been lost to posterity. It seems that though Teresa wrote
her Meditations with the approval of her confessor, a later con-
fessor, upon hearing of the existence of so daring a work,
became frightened. Gratian says that this later confessor
212
St. Teresa of Avila
thought it a dangerous novelty for a woman to write on the
Song of Songs and "moved with zeal by the words of St. Paul
that women should be silent in the Church," ordered Teresa to
burn it. Gratian's account goes on to say that at the moment
Teresa was told to do so, she threw the book in the fire.
Through witnesses in the process for beatification and
canonization, we know that this cautious director was the
Dominican preacher, theologian, and writer, Diego de
Yanguas.20 But since the incident took place as late as 1580,
copies of these meditations were already in circulation and
carefully guarded by persons who valued them as spiritual
treasures.
The Discalced Carmelite nuns in Alba de Tormes hid their
copy in the monastery. When Fr. Yanguas ordered that the
copies they possessed be burned "not because the work was bad
but because he didn't think it was proper for a woman to ex-
plain the Song of Songs," the nuns demonstrated their exper-
tise in casuistry by giving the manuscript away, to the Duchess
of Alba, who they knew would value and guard it safely.21
Four copies of this work are extant. We can distinguish two
groups based on different renderings: the copy of Alba de
Tormes (the most complete) and that of Baeza; and the copies
of Consuegra and Las Nieves. The copy of Alba is the one ap-
proved by Domingo Bariez, June 10, 1575. All four are con-
served in the Biblioteca National de Madrid.
From the manner in which these meditations end, it is
generally supposed that we possess the complete text excepting
some lines in the prologue. These lines are missing because of
the deterioration of the copy of Alba, the only one that con-
tains the prologue.
Although none of the manuscripts contains chapter divi-
sions, Gratian in his edition divided the work into seven
chapters and composed headings for each. He, too, is the
author of the frequently used title of the work, Conceptos del
amor de Dios, rendered in English as Conceptions of the Love
of God. But since this title is not Teresa's and she herself refers
to the work more simply as "my meditations,"22 a number of
editors have changed Gratian's title to Meditations on the Song
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Introduction
213
of Songs. Although somewhat misleading since Teresa reflects
on only a few verses of the Song, this is the title we have chosen
for this edition.
Establishing the date of composition has required a study of
evidence internal to the text since no definite external
testimony remains. The reference to Friar Alonso de Cor-
dobilla, his visit and later death, indicates that Teresa possibly
wrote the work at St. Joseph's in Avila before making her next
foundation in August of 1567, for this friar died in October
1566. 2 3 Still, her reference in the prologue to "these
monasteries" indicates that more monasteries had been found-
ed and thus some later date. More specifically, in this line, she
speaks of a personal experience of hers which took place at
Easter in 1571. 24 The latest date that could be mentioned is
August 10, 1575, when Banez gave his approval to the writing.
With respect to the earliest date, the work could not have been
written before 1566 because she speaks of two books she had
already written: her Life and the Way of Perfection. 25 The ap-
parent contradiction in this evidence has led scholars to con-
clude that the work was drafted at least twice. The first draft
would have been written at Avila in late 1566, or the first part
of 1567; and the second rendered sometime between 1572 and
1575.
Our translation is made from the copy of Alba, the one
preferred by Spanish editors; but the chapter divisions and
headings are taken from Gratian's edition. Those important
additions not found in Alba but in the copies of Consuegra and
Las Nieves are indicated in our translation by the use of
brackets.
Though small in size, these Meditations are both fascinating
and fresh in insight. They merit all the attention given to other
Teresian works.26 The content may be generally divided as
follows:
I. Mystical experience of "some words from Solomon's
Song of Songs' (Prologue and ch. 1, nos. 1-7)
II. Purpose in writing (ch. 1, nos. 8-12
III. The kiss: symbol of peace and friendship
A. false peace
214
St. Teresa of A vila
III. (continued)
a. from friendship with the devil (ch. 2, nos.
1-6)
b. from the world and the flesh
from riches (ch. 2, nos. 8-10)
from honors (ch. 2, nos. 11-13)
from comforts (ch. 2, nos. 14-15)
B. peace from friendship with the Lord (ch. 2, nos.
16-18)
a. imperfect kinds of friendship with Him
(ch. 2, nos. 19-30)
b. the peace of union and its signs (ch. 3)
IV. Communion in friendship
A. prayer of quiet and of union (chs. 4-6)
B. effects of this prayer: the desire to serve; union of
both the active and the contemplative life (ch. 7)
K.K.
Prologue
1HAVE SEEN THE MERCIES our Lord grants souls He has
brought to these monasteries which observe the primitive
rule of our Lady of Mount Carmel and which have been found-
ed through His Majesty's good pleasure. For so many are the
favors our Lord grants to some of the Sisters in particular that
only souls who know about the need there is for an explanation
of some of the things that pass between the soul and our Lord
will be able to see the trial that is suffered in not having light.
For a number of years now the Lord has given me great delight
each time I hear or read some words from Solomon's Song of
Songs. The delight is so great that without understanding the
vernacular meaning of the Latin my soul is stirred and
recollected more than by devotional books written in the
language I understand. And this happens almost all the time,
and even when the Latin words were translated for me into the
vernacular I did not understand the text any more ... 1
2. For about two years, more or less, it seems to me the Lord
has been giving me, for the sake of my purpose in writing this
work, some understanding of the meaning of certain words,
and I think these words will bring consolation to the Sisters our
Lord leads by this path and also to me. For at times the Lord
gives understanding of so much that I find myself hoping I
won't forget, but I didn't dare put anything in writing.
3. Now in accord with the opinion of persons whom I'm oblig-
ed to obey, I shall write something about the understand-
ing the Lord gives me of what is contained in the words that bring
delight to my soul about this path of prayer. As I have said, it is
along this path that the Lord leads these Sisters, and my
daughters, in these monasteries. If this writing is such that you
may see it, accept this poor little gift from one who desires for you
as well as for herself all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, in whose name
I begin. If I succeed in saying something worthwhile, the success
will not be from me. May it please the divine Majesty. . . 2
215
Chapter 1
Treats of the veneration with which the Sacred Scriptures
should be read and of the difficulty women have in com-
prehending them, especially the Song of Songs.
1HAVE CAREFULLY NOTED that it seems from what is
manifested here that the soul is speaking with one person
and asking peace from another. It says: Let Him kiss me with
the kiss of His mouth; and next, seemingly, it speaks to
someone whom it is with: Your breasts are better.
I don't understand why this is; and that I don't understand
gives me great delight. Indeed, daughters, the soul will not
have to reflect upon the things it seems we can grasp with our
lowly intellects here below as intensely as it will upon those that
can in no way be understood; nor will the former make it
respect God as much as do His mysteries. Thus I highly recom-
mend that when you read some book or hear a sermon or think
about the mysteries of our sacred faith you avoid tiring
yourselves or wasting your thoughts in subtle reasoning about
what you cannot properly understand. Many things are not
meant for women to understand, nor even for men.
2. When the Lord desires to give understanding, His Majes-
ty does so without our effort. I am saying this to women, and
also to men who aren't obliged to defend the truth through
their learning. For those whom the Lord has called to explain
the Scriptures to us must understandably work, and they will
gain much from their work. But we should accept with
simplicity whatever the Lord gives us; and what He doesn't we
shouldn't tire ourselves over, but rejoice in considering what a
Let the Lord kiss me with the kiss of His
mouth, for Your breasts are better than wine,
etc (Sg. 1:2)
216
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 1 217
great Lord and God we have. For one word of His will contain
within itself a thousand mysteries, and thus our understanding
is only very elementary. That we do not understand His words
when they are written in Latin or Hebrew or Greek is no sur-
prise. But even in our own language; how many things there
are in the psalms of the glorious King David that after being
translated into the vernacular for us remain as obscure as they
were in Latin! Thus always guard against wasting your
thoughts on these things or tiring yourselves, for women have
need of no more than what is sufficient for their meditations.
With this, God will favor them. When His Majesty desires to
give us understanding of the words, without worry or work on
our part, we shall surely find it. As for the rest, let us humble
ourselves and, as I have said, rejoice that we have such a Lord,
that even words of His spoken in our own language cannot be
understood.
3. It will seem to you that there are some words in the Song
of Songs that could have been said in another style. In light of
our dullness such an opinion doesn't surprise me. I have heard
some persons say that they avoid listening to them. Oh, God
help me, how great is our misery! Just as poisonous creatures
turn everything they eat into poison, so do we. From favors as
great as those the Lord gives us here in revealing what is
possessed by the soul who loves Him and in encouraging it to
speak with His Majesty and find delight in Him, we have to
create fears and give opinions that manifest the small degree of
love of God we have.
4. O my Lord, how poorly we profit from the blessing You
grant us! You seek ways and means and you devise plans to
show Your love for us; we, inexperienced in loving You, esteem
this love so poorly that our minds, little exercised in love, go
where they always go and cease to think of the great mysteries
this language, spoken by the Holy Spirit, contains within itself.
What more was necessary than this language in order to enkin-
dle us in His love and make us realize that not without good
reason did He choose this style.
5. Indeed, I recall hearing a priest who was a religious
preach a very admirable sermon, most of which was an ex-
218
St. Teresa of Avila
planation of those loving delights with which the bride com-
muned with God. And there was so much laughter, and what
he said was so poorly taken, that I was shocked. He was speak-
ing about love since the sermon was on Maundy Thursday,1
when one shouldn't be speaking of anything else. And I see
clearly that the reason for not understanding is the one I men-
tioned (that we practice so poorly the love of God), for it
doesn't seem to us possible for a soul to commune in such a way
with God. These people did not benefit, surely because they
did not understand, nor, I believe, did they think anything but
that the preacher made the sermon up in his own head. Yet, I
know other persons who have drawn out great good, delight,
and security against fears, so much so that they had to offer
special praise to our Lord. He has left a salutary remedy to
souls that love Him with a fervent love because they under-
stand and see that it is possible for God to humble Himself so
much. For experience was not enough to keep them from fear-
ing when the Lord granted them great favors. What they see
represented here makes them feel secure.
6. I know someone who for a number of years had many
fears, and nothing gave her assurance, but the Lord was
pleased that she hear some words from the Song of Songs, and
through them she understood that her soul was being well
guided. As I have said,2 she understood that it was possible for
a soul in love with its Spouse to experience all these favors,
swoons, deaths, afflictions, delights, and joys in relation to
Him. It does so after it has left all the world's joys out of love
for Him and is completely given over and abandoned into His
hands, and when it has done this not just in words, as happens
with some, but in all truth, confirmed with works.
Oh, my daughters, how well God repays! You have a Lord
and Spouse with whom nothing takes place without His seeing
and understanding it! Thus, even though the things be very
small, do not fail to do what you can for love of Him. His Maj-
esty will repay for them; He looks only at the love with which
you do them.
7. Hence, I conclude this matter by saying that you should
never dwell on what you do not understand in Sacred Scripture
Meditations on the Song of Songs Chap. 1 219
or the mysteries of our faith more than I have said, nor should
you be startled by the lofty words that take place between God
and the soul. Being what we are, the love that He had and has
for us surprises and bewilders me more; for knowing that He
has such love I already understand that there is no exaggera-
tion in the words by which He reveals it to us, for He has shown
this love even more through his deeds. But when you reach this
place in my writing, I ask you that for love of me you pause a
little to think upon what He has shown us and what He has suf-
fered for us, observing clearly that a love so powerful and
strong that it made Him suffer so much could not reveal itself
in words that should be any surprise to us.
8. Well now, to return to what I began saying, i these words
must contain great things and mysteries since they are of such
value that when I asked learned men to explain what the Holy
Spirit meant by them and what the true meaning was they
answered that the doctors wrote many commentaries and yet
never finished explaining the words fully. Since this is so, it will
seem to be excessive pride on my part to want to explain
something about them for you. It is not my intention, however
little my humility, to think that I can get to the truth of them.
What I do intend is that, just as I delight in what the Lord
gives me understanding of when I hear some passage from the
Song of Songs, you will perhaps find consolation in it, as I do,
if I tell you. And I interpret the passage in my own way, even
though my understanding of it may not be in accord with what
is meant. For if we do not depart from what the Church and
the saints hold (which is why learned men who understand the
matter will examine this carefully before you see it), the Lord
gives us license — from what I think — just as He does when we
think of the Passion and consider many more things about the
anguish and torments the Lord must have suffered than the
Evangelists record. And if we do not indulge in curiosity, as I
said at the beginning,4 but accept the understanding His Maj-
esty gives us, I hold it as certain that we do not offend Him
when we find delight and consolation in His words and works.
A king would be happy and pleased if he saw a little shepherd
he loved looking spellbound at the royal brocade and wonder-
220
St. Teresa of Avila
ing what it is and how it was made. Nor must we make women
stand so far away from enjoyment of the Lord's riches. If they
argue and teach and think they are right without showing their
writings to learned men; yes, that would be wrong. Conse-
quently, I am not thinking I am right in what I say — the Lord
knows this well. But as with this little shepherd I mentioned, it
consoles me to tell my meditations to my daughters; and what I
tell will contain plenty of foolishness. Thus I begin with the
favor of my divine King and with the permission of my con-
fessor. May it please His Majesty that as He has wanted me to
succeed in explaining other things for you5 — and perhaps He
did so because they were for you — I might succeed in explain-
ing these. If I don't, I will consider the time well spent that I
occupy in writing and reflecting upon material so divine that I
haven't deserved to hear it.
9. It seems to me from what she says in the beginning that
she is speaking with a third person; and she herself makes it
known that there are in Christ two natures, one divine and the
other human. I'm not going to dwell on this, because my inten-
tion is to speak about what I think can be beneficial to us who
engage in prayer; although everything is beneficial for the en-
couragement and admiration of a soul that ardently loves the
Lord. His Majesty knows well that even though at times — and
these were few— I have heard explanations of some of these
words and have been told their meaning when I asked, I don't
remember the explanations at all, for I have a very poor
memory. Thus, I shall be able to say only what the Lord
teaches me and what serves my purpose; and I don't remember
ever having heard anything about this first verse.
Let Him kiss me with the kiss of His mouth.
10. O my Lord and my God, and what words are these that
a worm speaks them to its Creator! May You be blessed, Lord,
for in so many ways have You taught us! But who will dare, my
King, utter these words without Your permission? The thought
is frightening, and so it will be frightening that I tell anyone to
utter them. People will say I am a fool, that the words don't
mean this, that they have many meanings, that obviously we
must not speak such words to God, that for this reason it is
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 1 221
good that simple people do not read these things. I confess that
the passage has many meanings. But the soul that is enkindled
with a love that makes it mad desires nothing else than to say
these words. Indeed, the Lord does not forbid her to say them.
God help me! Why are we surprised? Isn't the deed more ad-
mirable? Do we not approach the most Blessed Sacrament?
And I was even wondering if the bride was asking for this favor
that Christ afterward gave us. I also wondered whether she was
asking for that union so great that God became man, for that
friendship that he effected with the human race. Obviously a
kiss is the sign of great peace and friendship among two per-
sons. May the Lord help us understand how many kinds of
peace there are.
11. Before I go any further, and so as not to forget, I want
to say one thing — very important in my opinion — although the
matter would fit better at another time. I hold as certain that
there are many persons who approach the most Blessed Sacra-
ment (and please the Lord I be lying) with serious mortal sins.
Yet, if such persons were to hear a soul dying with love of its
God say these words, they would be surprised and consider it
great boldness. At least I am sure they themselves would not
say them, for these words and other similar ones in the Song of
Songs are said by love. Since such persons have no love, they
can easily read the Song of Songs every day and not themselves
become involved with the words; nor would they even dare take
the words on their lips. For truly even hearing them makes one
fear, for these words bear in themselves great majesty. How
much majesty You bear, my Lord, in the most Blessed Sacra-
ment. But since these persons do not have a living faith but a
dead one, You do not speak to them when they see You so
humble under the species of bread. They do not deserve to
hear — and thus they are not so daring.
12. As a result these words in themselves, taking them only
literally, would truly cause fear if the one uttering them were in
his senses. But the one whom Your love, Lord, has drawn out
of himself, You will truly pardon if he says them and also
others, even though to say them is daring. And my Lord, if the
kiss signifies peace and friendship why shouldn't souls ask You
222
St. Teresa of Avila
for this kiss? What better thing can we ask for than what I ask
You for, my Lord; that You give me this peace "with the kiss of
Your mouth"? This, daughters, is a lofty petition, as I shall tell
you afterward.6
Chapter 2
Treats of nine kinds of false peace presented to the soul by the
world, the flesh, and the devil. Explains the holiness of the
religious state. This holiness leads to the true peace desired by
the bride in the Song of Songs.
GOD DELIVER YOU from the peace of many kinds that
worldly people have. May He never allow us to try it, for
it brings perpetual war. When such persons of the world re-
main quiet, while going about in serious sin, and so tranquil
about their vices, for their consciences don't feel remorseful
about anything, their peace, you have read, is a sign that they
and the devil are friends. While they live, the devil does not
wage war against them. For bad as they are they would then
return to God somewhat, not out of love for Him but so as to
flee from this war. Those who would act in such a way would
never persevere in serving God. Soon, since the devil
understands this, he would again give them delight in their
pleasure and they would return to their friendship with him,
until he has them in that place where he shows them how false
their peace was. There is no reason to speak of these persons
here; let them worry about it, for I hope in the Lord that so
much evil will not be found among you. But the devil could
begin to offer you another peace in small things, and always,
while we live, daughters, we must fear.
2. When a Sister begins to grow lax in things that in
themselves seem small, persisting in them for a long time
without feeling any remorse of conscience, the resulting peace
is bad. And consequently the devil can draw her into a thou-
sand evils. Examples of these little things would be an infrac-
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 2 223
tion of something in the constitutions, which in itself would not
be a sin, or being careless, even though without malice, about
what the bishop commands (in fact he stands in God's place,
and it is good always — for this reason we have come here — to
consider what he desires), and many other little things that
come along and which in themselves do not appear to be sins.
In sum, there are faults and always will be, for we are
miserable creatures. I don't say that there are not; what I say is
that these faults should be felt when they are committed and
that the soul should understand that there was a fault. For if
the soul doesn't, the devil, as I say, can rejoice and gradually
make it insensible to these little things. I tell you, daughters,
that when the devil attains this, he has attained no small thing,
for I fear he will go further. Hence, for love of God be very
careful. There must be war in this life.1 In the face of so many
enemies it's not possible for us to sit with our hands folded;
there must always be this care about how we are proceeding in-
teriorly and exteriorly.
3. I tell you that even though in prayer the Lord grants you
favors and gives you what I shall speak of later,2 when you
leave prayer you will meet with a thousand little obstacles, a
thousand little occasions to break one rule carelessly, or not to
carry out another well, interior disturbances and temptations.
I don't say that this war must be going on always or habitually;
but it is a wonderful favor from the Lord. By this means the
soul advances. It's impossible for us to be angels here below
because such is not our nature. In fact, a soul doesn't disturb
me when I see it with great temptations. If love and fear of our
Lord are present, the soul will gain very much; I'm certain of
that. If I see a soul always quiet and without any war — for I've
run into some like this — I always fear even if I do not see it of-
fending the Lord. Never do I finish seeking to assure myself;
and trying and tempting such persons, if I can, since the devil
doesn't do so, in order that they may know themselves. I have
met a few; to be without war is possible, once the Lord has
brought the soul to an abundance of contemplation.
4. There is a variety of ways to proceed in prayer. These
souls I am referring to remain in an habitual and interior hap-
224
St. Teresa of A vila
piness. Yet, I think they do not understand themselves. And
after I take a careful look I see that sometimes they have their
little wars, though these are few. But it is a fact that I do not
envy these souls. I have considered the matter attentively and
see that those who have to fight the war that was mentioned
advance much further in the things pertaining to perfection,
without experiencing such abundant prayer, than we can
understand here below. Let us exclude souls that are far ad-
vanced and very mortified after having endured this war for
many years. Since they are already dead to the world, our Lord
ordinarily gives them peace, but not in such a way that they
don't deplore a fault they may commit and experience deep
sorrow over it.
5. Thus, daughters, the Lord leads souls along many paths.
But always fear, as I have said,3 when some fault you commit
does not grieve you. For in regard to sin, even venial, you
already know that the soul must feel deep sorrow, and, glory to
God, I believe and see that you do feel it now.
Note one thing, and remember this for love of me: if a per-
son is alive, doesn't he feel a tiny pinprick or a thorn however
small? Well then, if our souls are not dead but alive in the love
of God, isn't it a great favor to feel any little thing we do
against our obligations or what we have professed? Oh, His
Majesty is making a bed of roses and flowers for Himself in the
soul to whom He gives this care, and it is impossible that He
fail to come and favor it, even though late. God help me, what
are we religious doing in the monastery? Why did we leave the
world? For what reason did we come? In what better way could
we be occupied than to prepare rooms within our souls for our
Spouse and reach the stage in which we can ask Him to give us
the kiss of His mouth? Happy will be the soul that makes this
request and whose lamp will not be out when the Lord comes,4
otherwise the Lord will grow tired of knocking, and turn away.
Oh, my daughters! What a great state of life we are in, for no
one but we ourselves can keep us from saying these words to
our Spouse since we took Him for our Spouse when we made
our professions.
6. Let scrupulous souls understand me, for I am not speak-
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 2 225
ing of some fault that is committed occasionally or of faults
that cannot be recognized or always felt by everyone, but of
one who commits faults habitually without paying any atten-
tion to them, thinking they are trifles, and without any
remorse, and who does not strive to make amends. I repeat
that peace of this sort is dangerous and you should be warned
about it. Well now, what will be the peace of those who are
very lax about the observance of their rule? (Please God there
will be none.) In many ways the devil will give them peace, for
God permits him to do so on account of our sins. There is no
reason to discuss the matter. I wanted to warn you with this
small comment. Let us go on to the peace and friendship the
Lord begins to show us in prayer, and I will tell what His Maj-
esty makes known to me.
7. But before I do, I think it will be good to tell you a little
about the peace the world and our own sensuality give. Even
though in many books this topic has been discussed better than
I'm capable of doing, perhaps you will not have money to buy
books, for you are poor, or have any benefactor to give them to
you. Whereas this writing of mine will remain in the house,
and you will have all the material together. Souls could in
many ways be deceived by the peace the world gives. From
some of these ways that I shall mention you will deduce the
rest.
8. Oh, as for riches! If people have easily what they need
and a lot of money in their coffers and guard against commit-
ting serious sins, they think everything is done. They enjoy
what they have. They give an alms from time to time. They do
not reflect that their riches are not their own but given by the
Lord so that they, as His stewards, may share their wealth
among the poor, and that they must give a strict account for
the time they keep a surplus in their coffers while delaying and
putting off the poor who are suffering. This topic is not perti-
nent to us except that you beg the Lord to give rich people
light that they may not continue in this daze and have happen
to them what happened to the covetous rich man,5 and that
you praise His Majesty because He has made you poor, and
that you accept poverty as a particular favor from Him.
226
St. Teresa of Avila
9. Oh, my daughters, what a great relief it is, even with
respect to our tranquillity here below, not to have these
burdens; as for the final day, you can't imagine. The rich are
the slaves and you are the masters. By the following example
you will see this clearly. Who is more at rest? A gentleman who
has all he needs to eat on the table and all his clothing laid out
for him or his steward who must render him an account of
every penny? The gentleman spends without measure since all
belongs to him. The poor steward is the one who suffers for it.
And the more wealth there is the more vigilant the steward has
to be, for he has to give an accounting. He will especially have
a large balance to make up if he has held the office for many
years and has been a little careless. I don't know how he stays
calm. Don't read this, daughters, without praising our Lord very
much, and always go forward doing what you are now doing in
not having any possessions in particular. For without worry we
eat what the Lord sends since His Majesty takes care that we lack
nothing. We don't have to give an account of what is left over
because His Majesty provides in such a way that what is left is so
small that we are not obliged to share it with others.
10. What is necessary, daughters, is that we be content with
little. We must not want as much as those who give a strict ac-
counting, as any rich person will have to give, even though he
may not have to do so here on earth but receives it from his
stewards. And how strict an accounting he will have to give! If
he understood he would not eat so happily nor would he spend
what he has on vanities and trivialities. As for you, daughters,
look always for the poorest things, which will be enough to get
by on; in clothing as well as in food. If you don't, you will find
yourselves frustrated because God is not going to give you
more, and you will be unhappy. Strive always to serve His Maj-
esty in such a way that you do not eat the food of the poor
without serving Him for it; although one can only poorly repay
in service for the calm and repose the Lord gives when there is
no obligation to account for riches. I well know that you
understand, but it's necessary that at times you give special
thanks to His Majesty for riches.
11. Concerning the peace the world gives through honors, I
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 2 227
don't think I have to say anything for you; the poor are never
honored very much. What can do you great harm is
praise — for once it starts it never ends — if you are not careful,
so as to humble yourselves more afterward. The most common
way will be by telling you that you are saints, in such exag-
gerated terms that it seems the devil teaches these words. And
indeed he must sometimes. For if the words were spoken in the
person's absence, they could be tolerated. But spoken in the
person's presence, what fruit can they bear? Only harm, if you
are not very cautious.
12. For love of God I ask you that you never seek peace for
yourselves through these words of praise, for little by little they
could do you harm and make you believe that the truth was
spoken or make you think that now everything is accomplished
and that you have done your part. You should never let a word
of praise pass without it moving you to wage war interiorly, for
this is easily done if you acquire the habit. Remember how the
world treated Christ, our Lord, and how they exalted Him on
Palm Sunday. Look at the esteem it had for St. John the Bap-
tizer, for they wanted to take him for the Messiah, and how
and why they beheaded him.
13. Never does the world exalt without putting down, if the
exalted are the sons of God. I have a lot of experience of this. It
used to afflict me to see so much blindness in these praises, and
now I laugh to myself as though someone crazy were speaking.
Remember your sins, and if in some matters people speak the
truth in praising you, note that the virtue is not yours and that
you are obliged to serve more. Awaken fear in your soul so that
you do not rest in the kiss of this false peace given by the world;
think that it is a kiss from Judas. Although some do not praise
you with such an intention, the devil is watching to see how he
can take away the spoils if you do not defend yourselves against
him. Believe that you have to stand here with a sword in the
hand of your thoughts. Although you think the praise does you
no harm, do not trust it. Remember how many were at the top
and are now at the bottom. There is no security while we are
alive. For love of God, Sisters, always wage an interior war
against these praises, for thus you will come away from them
228
St. Teresa of A vila
with the gain of humility, and the devil and the world who are
on the lookout for you will be abashed.
14. Concerning the peace and harm that this security can
cause in your own flesh, there would be much to say. I shall
mention some points, and from them, as I have said,6 you can
go on to deduce the rest. The flesh is very fond of com-
fort—you have already seen this. If we could understand we
would realize that to seek one's peace in comforts is very
dangerous. I often think about the matter and cannot under-
stand how there can be so much peace and calm in persons
who live very comfortably. Does the most sacred body of our
Model and Light perhaps deserve less comfort than our own
bodies? What did the Lord do to suffer so many trials? Have we
read in the lives of the saints, those who we know for sure are in
heaven, that they had a comfortable life? Where does this tran-
quillity in comfort come from? Who has told us that comfort-
able living is good? What is this, that some persons spend their
days eating well and sleeping and seeking recreations and all the
rest they can? I'm stunned when I consider this. It doesn't seem
to them there will be another world and they think that the
things mentioned are the least dangerous of this present world.
15. Oh, daughters, if you knew what great evil lies enclosed
here. The body grows fat and the soul weakens. If we were to
see the soul, we would think it about ready to expire. In many
books you will find doctrine written about the great evil found
in seeking one's peace in comforts, for if we understand that to
do so is wrong, we will have hope for a remedy. But I fear that
the thought doesn't pass through peoples' minds. I'm not sur-
prised since the evil is so common. I tell you that even though
through comforts a person's flesh is at rest, in a thousand ways
there will be war if such a person is going to be saved. And it
would be more valuable for souls to understand themselves and
take up gradually the penance that otherwise will come to
them all at once. I have said this that you might fervently
praise God, daughters, that you are in a place where your flesh
cannot find peace in comforts even though it may want to.
Such craving for comfort could harm you without your being
aware, that is, under the excuse of sickness. You need to be
Meditations on the Song of Songs Chap. 2 229
very careful about this. For one day it will hurt you to take the
discipline7 and eight days later perhaps not. Another day or
number of days you will be unable to bear the coarse tunics,8
but this won't be permanent. Some days eating fish may hurt
you, but once your stomach gets used to it, it will not harm
you. Another time you will think you are so weak that you'll be
unable to go without eating meat,9 but by not fasting for one
day you will overcome this weakness. Of these things and of
much more, I have experience. It shouldn't be thought that
these things involve serious fault, but that there may not be
much need for them. What I am saying is that we must not
find our rest in being lax, but must test ourselves sometimes. I
know that this flesh is very deceptive and that we need to
understand it. May the Lord out of His goodness give us light
for everything. Discretion is very important, as is also trust in
our superiors rather than in ourselves.
16. To return to our topic;10 since the bride indicates the
peace she is seeking by saying, Let Him kiss me with the kiss of
His mouth, we have a sign that the Lord has other ways of
bestowing peace and showing friendship. I now want to explain
some to you so that you will see the kind of lofty petition this is
and the difference that lies between these two types of peace.
O great God and Lord of ours, what profound wisdom! Well
could the bride have said, let Him kiss me, and, it seems, have
concluded her petition in fewer words. Why does she specify,
with the kiss of His mouth? Surely, there is not a letter too
many. I don't know the reason, but I shall say something about
this. It matters little if what I say is not what the passage means
provided, as I said,11 we benefit from the thoughts. Now then,
in many ways does our King offer souls peace and friendship,
as we see each day both in prayer and outside of it; but our
friendship with His Majesty is only skin-deep, as the saying
goes. You will observe, daughters, the degree of love you have
reached in that you will be able to ask for that which the bride
does if the Lord brings you to Himself. If He doesn't do so, do
not become discouraged; whatever the friendship you have
with God, you will be very rich if there is no fault on your part.
But we should grieve and be very sorry that through our own
230
5/. Teresa of Avila
fault we do not reach this excellent friendship and that we are
happy with little.
17. O Lord, why is it that we do not remember that the
reward is great and everlasting, and that once we have reached
such close friendship here below the Lord gives us the reward,
and that many remain at the foot of the mount who could as-
cend to the top? In other little things I have written for you12 I
have often mentioned this, and now I repeat and ask that you
always have courageous thoughts. As a result of them the Lord
will give you grace for courageous deeds. Believe that these
brave thoughts are important. There are some persons who
have already attained friendship with the Lord because they
have confessed their sins well and have repented, but two days
don't pass before they return to them. Indeed, that is not the
friendship the bride is asking for. Always strive, O daughters,
so that you don't go to the confessor each time to confess the
same fault.
18. It's true that we cannot live without faults, but at least
there should be some change so that they don't take root. If they
take root, they will be harder to eradicate and even many
others could arise from them. If we plant an herb or small tree
and water it each day, it grows so strong that afterward you
need a shovel and a pickax to get it out by the roots. Commit-
ting the same fault each day, however small, if we do not make
amends for it, is like watering a plant each day. And if one day
it is planted and ten more pass by, it can still be easily rooted
out. In prayer you must ask help from the Lord, for we of
ourselves can do little; rather, we add faults instead of taking
them away. Reflect that in that frightful judgment at the hour
of death we shall see that this was no small matter especially for
those the Judge took for His brides in this life.
19. Oh, great dignity, worthy of awakening us that we
might try diligently to please this Lord and King of ours! But
how badly these persons repay this friendship since they turn so
quickly into mortal enemies! Indeed, how great is the mercy of
God. Where would we find a friend so patient? And even if a
friend commits one fault, it is never erased from the other's
memory, nor do the two manage to have a friendship as
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 2 231
trusting as before. Now then, how often will souls similarly fail
in their friendship with our Lord, and how many years He
waits for us in this way? May You be blessed, Lord, my God,
for You show us so much pity that it seems You forget Your
greatness so as not to punish — as would be right — a betrayal as
treacherous as this. I think this infidelity is a dangerous state,
for even though the mercy of God is what it is we also frequent-
ly see people dying in this state without confession. May His
Majesty deliver us, because of who He is, daughters, from be-
ing in so dangerous a state.
20. There is another kind of friendship, stronger than this,
had by persons who guard themselves against offending the
Lord mortally. Those who have reached this stage have at-
tained much, the world being what it is. These persons even
though they guard themselves against sinning mortally do not
fail to fall now and again, from what I believe. For they care
little about venial sins; they commit many daily, and thus they
are very close to committing mortal sins. They will ask: "Do
you pay attention to that?" Many others I have heard say:
"That's why we have holy water and the remedies of our holy
Mother the Church." Such remarks are certainly something to
grieve over very much. For love of God, take great care never to
grow careless about venial sin, however small, by recalling that
we have a remedy. It is not right that something good be the
occasion for doing wrong. To be mindful of this remedy after
the fact and to strive to use it at once is, of course, good.
21. It is a very important thing always to have a conscience
so pure that nothing hinders you from asking our Lord for the
perfect friendship the bride asks for. At least, the kind of
friendship we just mentioned is not the one the bride asks for.
That friendship just mentioned is truly suspect for many
reasons. And those given over to comforts and prepared for
much lukewarmness will not know clearly whether what they
do is a venial or mortal sin. God deliver us from this lukewarm-
ness. Since it seems to them that they do not commit the serious
sins they see in others — and such is not the state of perfect
humility — they judge these others to be wicked. It could be
that these latter are much better because they weep over their
232
St. Teresa of Avila
sins with deep repentance and, perhaps, with a better purpose
of amendment, which will result in their never offending the
Lord in little or much. Those doing the judging, since it seems
to them they don't do any of these bad things, give themselves
greater latitude for their enjoyments. For the most part, they
will recite their vocal prayers, but not very well, because their
consciences are not so delicate.
22. There is another kind of friendship and peace our Lord
begins to give some persons who are totally committed to not
offending Him in anything, although they don't withdraw so
much from the occasions. They have their times for prayer.
Our Lord gives them tenderness and tears. Yet, they do not
want to give up the enjoyments of this life. They want to live a
good and well-ordered life, for they think it is beneficial for
them to live here below with tranquillity. Life bears with it
many changes. They will be doing enough if they continue in
the practice of virtue. But if they don't withdraw from the
satisfactions and pleasures of the world, they will soon grow lax
again in walking the Lord's path; there are great enemies we
must defend ourselves against. Such, daughters, is not the
friendship the bride desires; neither should you desire it. Turn
away always from any little occasion, however small, if you
want the soul to grow and live securely.
23. I don't know why I'm saying these things to you unless
so that you will understand the dangers that lie in not turning
resolutely from all worldly things. For if we do turn from them
we will spare ourselves many faults and trials. There are so
many ways in which our Lord begins to exchange friendship
with souls that I don't think I would ever finish recounting the
ones I've recognized, even though I am a woman. What would
confessors or those who deal with them more particularly have
to say? Indeed, some of those persons bewilder me, for it seems
they have everything that is required for them to be friends of
God. I shall tell you about one lady in particular, for it is not
long ago that I spoke with her in a special way. She was very
fond of receiving Communion frequently, never said anything
bad about anyone, experienced devotion in her prayer, and
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 2 233
lived in constant solitude because she was in her house by
herself. She was so mild in her temperament that nothing said
to her ever made her angry or say any bad word, for she was
quite perfect. She had never married, nor was she now at an
age in which she could, and she had undergone many con-
tradictions along with having this peace. Since I saw all these
virtues, it seemed to me they were effects of a very advanced
soul and of deep prayer. And I esteemed this lady highly at the
beginning because I didn't see her offend God and understood
that she guarded against doing so.
24. After getting to know her I began to understand that all
was peaceful as long as her self-interest was not affected. But
when her own interests were at stake, her conscience was not so
delicate, but actually easygoing. I learned that although she
would suffer all the things that were said against her, she would
not tolerate anything said against her reputation even in some
tiny point concerning her honor or the esteem she thought was
her due. She was so overcome by this misery, so eager to know
everything that was said against these and so fond of her com-
fort that I was amazed how such a person could live even an
hour. She embellished all this in such a way that it appeared
free from sin. And taking into account the reasons she gave to
justify some of her actions I think I would have tried to defend
her if someone had blamed her. In other things it was quite ob-
vious that she was wrong though perhaps this judgment came
from not understanding her motives well. I was really
bewildered. Almost everyone considered her to be a saint,
although I observed that she must have been somewhat at fault
for the persecutions she underwent. And I did not envy her
manner of living and sanctity. Rather, she and two other souls
that I have seen in this life — for now I recall them1 3 — who were
saints in their own opinion, caused me more fear, after I spoke
with them, than all the sinners I have seen. I beg the Lord to
give us light.
25. Praise Him, daughters, very much for He brought you to
the monastery where, however much the devil may do, we can-
not be deceived as much as can those who live in their own
homes. There are souls whom, it seems, nothing keeps from fly-
234
St. Teresa of A vila
ing off to heaven; they seek perfection in every thing — in their
opinion. But there is no one to inform them of their faults. In
monasteries I have never seen this lack, for souls must do, not
what they want, but what they are told. Instead, people living
in their own homes cannot know their faults, even though they
would like to because they want to please the Lord. For, in the
end, what they do is their own will. And even though they may
go against their own will sometimes, they do not exercise
themselves so much in mortification. Let us exclude some per-
sons to whom our Lord has given light for many years, for these
persons seek someone who will inform them of their faults and
to whom they may submit, and their great humility leads them
to have little confidence in themselves, however learned they
may be.
26. There are others who have left everything for the Lord
and have neither house nor possessions, nor do they take
pleasure in comfort — on the contrary, they are penitential — or
in the things of the world, because the Lord has already given
them light about how miserable these things are. But they are
too attached to their honor. They would not want to do
anything that was not really acceptable to men as well as to the
Lord; great discretion and prudence. It is not always easy to
reconcile these two, for the trouble is that without one's being
aware the interests of the world almost always gain more than
do those of God. These souls, for the most part, grieve over
anything said against them. They do not embrace the cross but
drag it along, and so it hurts and wearies them and breaks
them to pieces. However, if the cross is loved, it is easy to bear;
this is certain.
27. No, neither is this the friendship the bride seeks. As a
result, my daughters, since you have done what I mentioned
here first, be careful not to let yourself be overcome by the sec-
ond thing.14 Everything should be wearisome to you; if you
have given up the most (you have left the world, its comforts,
joys, and riches, which, even though false, in the end are pleas-
ing) what do you fear? Look how you fail to understand, for in
order to free yourselves from some bitterness a word can cause
you, you burden yourselves with a thousand worries and
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 2 235
obligations. There are so many of these, if we want to please
those who are in the world, that one can't bear mentioning
them all or enlarging upon them, nor would I even know how.
28. There are other souls, and in speaking of them I'm go-
ing to conclude, for if you pay attention to what I have said you
will understand many ways by which they begin to make prog-
ress and then falter on the road. I say "there are other souls,"
because no longer are they concerned about what people say or
about their own honor. But these souls are not exercised in
mortification and in denying their own will, and so they never
get over their fear. Since they are determined to suffer every-
thing, it may seem that the job is done. But in serious matters
concerning the honor of the Lord their concern for their own
honor revives. Yet, they don't seem to understand. They think
they don't fear the world but fear God. They figure out how
dangers might arise in that virtuous deeds could result in much
evil. It seems the devil teaches them; a thousand years in ad-
vance they prophesy what could come, if doing so is necessary.
29. These are not souls of the kind that would do what St.
Peter did, by throwing himself into the sea,15 or what many
other saints did. In their calm they will draw souls to the Lord,
but not by putting themselves in dangers. Nor does the faith
they have do much for them in their efforts to carry out their
resolutions with deeds. One thing I have noticed; we see few in
the world, outside of religious life, entrust their livelihood to
God. I know only two persons. In religious life it is already
known that there will be no lack — although whoever truly
enters for God alone, I believe, will not think of this. But how
many there are, daughters, who will not give up what they
have unless it be with security! In other writings where I have
given you advice, I have spoken much about these
pusillanimous souls and mentioned the harm their faint-
heartedness does them and how good it is for them to have
great desires since they cannot do great works.1 6 I don't say any
more about these, although I would never tire of doing so.
Once the Lord brings them to so great a state, let them serve
Him through it, and not be shy. For even if someone who is a
religious — especially a woman — cannot help her neighbor, her
236
St. Teresa of Avila
prayer will be powerful if she has strong determination and ar-
dent desires for souls. Even, perhaps, the Lord will desire that
either in life or in death she will help others, as the holy friar
Diego does now.17 He was a lay brother and did nothing more
than serve; and after his death, so many years ago, his memory
is revived by the Lord that he might be an example to us. Let
us praise His Majesty!
30. Thus, my daughters, if the Lord has brought you to this
state, little is lacking for you to receive the peace and friend-
ship the bride asks for. Don't fail to beg the Lord for it with
continual tears and desires. Do what you can for your part that
He might give it to you. Realize that the religious state itself is
not the peace and friendship the bride asks for, even though
the Lord grants a great favor to the one He has brought to it.
For only after one has been occupied in much prayer, penance,
humility, and many other virtues, will that peace come. May
the Lord always be praised for He gives all, amen.
Chapter 3
Treats of the true peace God grants the soul and of His union
with it. Gives some examples of the heroic charity of some serv-
ants of God.
Let Him kiss me with the kiss of His mouth.
(Sg 1:2)
OHOLY BRIDE, let us turn to what you ask for: that holy
peace which makes the soul, while remaining itself com-
pletely secure and tranquil, venture out to war against all
worldly kinds of peace. Oh, how happy will be the lot of one
who obtains this favor since it is a union with the will of God;
such a union that there is no division between Him and the
soul, but one same will. It is a union not based on words or
desires alone, but a union proved by deeds. Thus, when the
bride knows she is serving the Bridegroom in something, there
is so much love and desire to please Him that she doesn't listen
to the reasons the intellect will give her or to the fears it will
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 3 237
propose. But she lets faith so work that she doesn't look for her
own profit or rest; rather, she succeeds now in understanding
that in this service lies all her profit.
2. It will seem to you, daughters, that this way of acting is
not advisable, since doing things with discretion is so
praiseworthy a practice. You must keep in mind one point: the
Lord has heard your petition (from what you can understand, I
mean, for one cannot know with certainty) that He kiss you
with the kiss of His mouth. For if you know this through the ef-
fects of His having done so, there is no reason to delay in
anything; but forget yourselves so as to please this most sweet
Bridegroom. His Majesty gives many signs of Himself to those
who enjoy this favor. One sign is contempt for all earthly
things, in which they are judged to be as little as they in fact
are. Another, not desiring one's own good, because one's own
vanity is already understood. A third, not rejoicing except with
those who love their Lord. Life becomes wearisome to these
persons; their esteem is for the riches they merit. And there are
other similar signs that He who placed them in this state
teaches.
3. Once the soul has arrived here, it has nothing to fear ex-
cept that God may not make use of it by giving it trials and the
occasions for serving Him even at a great cost to itself. Hence,
as I've said,1 love and faith are at work. And the soul does not
want to benefit by what the intellect teaches it, for this union
between the bride and Bridegroom has taught it other things
the intellect cannot attain to, and the soul tramples the in-
tellect underfoot.
Let us draw a comparison so that you may understand.
There is a captive in the land of the Moors whose father is
poor, but who has a good friend. If this friend doesn't ransom
him, the captive has no means of liberation. What his friend
possesses is not enough to pay the ransom, but the friend will
have to go to serve in the captive's place. The great love the
friend has makes him want freedom for the captive more than
for himself. But then discretion comes along with many reasons
and tells the friend that he is more obligated to himself and
that he perhaps has less fortitude than the one who is now in
238
St. Teresa of Avila
captivity and that the Moors will make him lose his faith, that
it is not good to place oneself in this danger, and many other
things.
4. Oh, strong love of God! And how true it is that nothing
seems impossible to the one who loves! Oh, happy the soul that
has obtained this peace from its God, for it is master over all
the trials and dangers of the world, fears no one provided it
serves so good a Spouse and Lord. Its reason to love Him is far
greater than the reason the father and friend have for loving
the captive. Well, daughters, you've already read about a saint
who when a widow came to him in desolation went to the land
of the Moors to exchange himself for her son.2 He did this not
for a son or for a friend but because he must have truly arrived
at this blessed state in which God must have given him this
peace and so that he could please His Majesty and somehow
imitate Him. You've also read how things turned out and how
spiritually enriched this saint was when he returned from
captivity.
5. [I would think that his mind did not fail to come up with
some more reasons besides those I mentioned, because he was a
bishop and would have had to abandon his flock, and perhaps
he would have had fears. Consider one thing that comes to me
now and is appropriate for those who are pusillanimous and
weak in spirit — for the most part they will be women. Although
in truth their souls may have reached this state, their weak
nature fears. It's necessary for us to be on guard because this
natural weakness will make us lose a great crown. When you
feel this pusillanimity, have recourse to faith and humility, and
don't fail to go on fighting with faith, for God can do all. Thus
He was able to give fortitude to many saintly girls, and He gave
it so that they were able to suffer many torments, since they
were determined to suffer for Him.
6. By means of this determination in the soul, the Lord
desires to make it master of its own free will, for in no way does
He need our strength. Rather, His Majesty enjoys having His
works shine forth in weak people, for in them there is more
room for His power to work and fulfill the desire He has to
grant us favors. As a result, the virtues God has given you will
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 3 239
help you act with determination and forget the reasons the in-
tellect presents and your own weakness. These virtues will pre-
vent this weakness from increasing when there are thoughts
about what will or will not happen or thoughts, perhaps, that
because of my own sins I will not deserve that He give me the
fortitude He has given others. This isn't the time to think about
your sins; leave them aside, as I have said. Such humility is in-
opportune right now and comes at the worst moment.
7. When others desire to give you something very honorable
or when the devil incites you to a comfortable life or to other
similar things, be afraid lest because of your sins you will not be
able to bear these things with rectitude. And when you have to
suffer something for our Lord or for your neighbor, do not be
afraid of your sins. You could perform one of these works with
so much charity that all your sins would be pardoned. The
devil fears this, and that's why he reminds you of your sins at
such a time. Be certain that the Lord will never fail His lovers,
when they take a risk for Him alone. What they should watch
out for are other selfish intentions, for I am not speaking ex-
cept of those who aim after pleasing the Lord with the greatest
perfection.]
8. And now in our times, I know a person — and you have
seen him for he came to see me — who was moved by the Lord
with such great charity that it cost him many tears not to be
able to go in exchange for a captive. He spoke of the matter to
me — he was one of the discalced followers of Friar Peter of
Alcantara — and after many urgent entreaties got the permis-
sion from his Father General. And when he was four leagues
from Argel — about to realize his good desire — the Lord
brought him to Himself.3 Surely he received a good reward.
Well now how many discreet persons there were who told him
his idea was crazy! For those of us who have not reached such
love of God, it may seem so. And how much crazier it will be to
come to the end of the dream that is this life with so much
common sense! Please God we will merit to enter heaven; and,
what is more, to be numbered among those who have ad-
vanced so far in the love of God.
9. Now I realize that God's great help is necessary for things
240
St. Teresa of Avila
like this. Consequently, I counsel you, daughters, always to ask
with the bride for this peace that is so delightful. With it the
soul will reign over all these little fears of the world. And
peacefully and quietly the soul will conquer the world. Isn't it
clear that the soul to whom God grants so great a favor as to
join it with Himself in a friendship like this will be left truly
rich in His blessings? For certainly these things cannot be ours.
We can ask and desire that He grant us this favor — and even
the asking is done with His help. As for the rest, what power
has a worm? Sin keeps it so cowardly and miserable that all the
virtues we can imagine are appraised according to our lowly
nature.
Well then, what is the remedy, daughters? To ask for what
the bride asks for. If a peasant girl should marry the king and
have children, don't the children have royal blood? Well, if our
Lord grants so much favor to our soul that He joins Himself to
it in this inseparable way, what desires, what effects, what
heroic deeds will be born from it as offspring, if the soul be not
at fault!
10. [Hence I repeat that in similar cases if the Lord should
grant you the favor of offering you something to be done for
Him that you pay no attention to the fact that you have been
sinners. It is necessary here that faith master our misery and
that you be not frightened if at the beginning in making the
resolution, and even afterward, you feel fear and weakness.
Pay no attention to these except to encourage yourselves more;
don't interfere with the flesh. Behold what the good Jesus says
in His prayer in the garden, the flesh is weak;4 and remember
His admirable and sorrowful sweat. Now then, if His Majesty
says that the divine and sinless flesh is weak, how is it we desire
our flesh to be so strong that it doesn't feel the persecutions and
the trials that can come to it? And in these very trials the flesh
will be as though subject to the spirit. When the soul's will is
joined to the will of God, the flesh does not complain.
11. The thought comes to me now that our good Jesus
showed us the weakness of His humanity previous to the trials,
and when He was in the abyss of His sufferings showed such
great fortitude that He not only did not complain but did
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 3 241
nothing that would make it appear He was suffering with
weakness. When He went to the garden, He said: My soul is
sorrowful even to death.5 Yet, while on the cross, for He was
already suffering death, He did not complain. Nor did He do
so when in the prayer of the garden He went to awaken His
apostles. With greater reason might He have complained to
His Mother and our Lady when she was at the foot of the cross,
and not asleep but suffering in her most holy soul and dying a
harsh death; it always consoles us more to complain to those
who we know feel our trials and love us more.
12. So, let's not complain of fears or become discouraged at
seeing our nature weak and without strength. Let us strive to
strengthen ourselves with humility and understand clearly the
little we ourselves can do and that if God does not favor us, we
are nothing. Let us distrust completely our own strength and
confide in His mercy, and until we attain this mercy our
weakness will persist. Not without reason did our Lord show us
His weakness, for it is clear that He was not weak since He was
fortitude itself. But He did so for our consolation and that we
might understand how it is fitting for us to carry out our desires
with deeds. Let us observe that when the soul begins to mortify
itself, everything is painful to it. If it begins to give up com-
forts, it grieves; if it must give up honor, it feels torment; and if
it must suffer an offensive word, the hurt becomes intolerable
for it. In sum, there are never lacking sorrows for it until
death. But as it succeeds in its determination to die to the
world, it will find itself freed of these sufferings; and, on the
contrary, there will be no fear of its complaining any longer,
for the peace the bride asks for will have been attained.]
13. Certainly, I think that if we were to approach the most
Blessed Sacrament with great faith and love, once would be
enough to leave us rich. How much richer from approaching so
many times as we do. The trouble is we do so out of routine,
and it shows. O miserable world, you have so covered the eyes
of those who live in you that they do not see the treasures by
which they could win everlasting riches!
14. O Lord of heaven and earth, how is it possible that even
while in this mortal life one can enjoy You with so special a
242
St. Teresa of Avila
friendship, that the Holy Spirit says this so clearly in these
words, and that still we do not want to understand that these
are the delights You share with souls in this Song of Songs!
What endearing words! What sweetness! One of these words
would have been enough for us to be dissolved in You. May
You be blessed, Lord, because we don't lose anything through
Your fault. Along how many paths, in how many ways, by how
many methods You show us love! With trials, with a death so
harsh, with torments, suffering offenses every day and then
pardoning; and not only with these deeds do You show this
love, but with words so capable of wounding the soul in love
with You that You say them in this Song of Songs and teach the
soul what to say to You. For I don't know how the words can be
endured if You do not help the one who hears them to bear
them — because of our weakness, not because of what the words
deserve.
15. Hence, my Lord, I do not ask You for anything else in
life but that You kiss me with the kiss of Your mouth, and that
You do so in such a way that although I may want to withdraw
from this friendship and union, my will may always, Lord of
my life, be subject to Your will and not depart from it; that
there be nothing to impede me from being able to say: "My
God and my Glory, indeed Your breasts are better and more
delightful than wine. "6
Speaks of the prayer of quiet and of union and of the sweetness
and delight they cause in the spirit; in comparison, earthly
delights are nothing.
OH, MY DAUGHTERS, what deep secrets there are in these
words! May the Lord give us experience of them, for they
are very difficult to explain.
Chapter 4
Your breasts are better than wine, and give
forth the most sweet fragrance. (Sg. 1:2-3)
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 4 243
When His Majesty, through His mercy, desires to answer the
petition of the bride, He begins to commune with the soul in so
friendly a way that only those who experience this friendship
will understand it, as I say. I have written much about this in
two books1 (which, if the Lord is pleased, you will see after my
death) in a very detailed way and at length, for I see that you
will need them. Thus, I will do no more here than touch upon
the matter. I don't know whether I will succeed in using the
same words by which the Lord wished to explain the matter
there.
2. In the interior of the soul a sweetness is felt so great that
the soul feels clearly the nearness of its Lord. This experience is
not merely one of devotion moving a person to shed many
tears — which give satisfaction — either by thinking of the Pas-
sion of the Lord or of our sins. In this prayer of which I speak,
that I call "quiet" because of the calm caused in all the
faculties (for it seems the person has them well under con-
trol—although sometimes the experience is not like this,
because the soul is not so absorbed in this sweetness), it seems
that the whole man interiorly and exteriorly is comforted. It's
as though there were poured into the marrow of one's bones a
sweet ointment with a powerful fragrance. If we were suddenly
to enter a place where this fragrance was strong and not from
one thing but from many, and we did not know what it was or
where it came from except that it permeated everything, we
would have some idea of this most sweet love of our God. He
enters the soul and does so with wonderful sweetness. He
pleases and makes it happy, and it cannot understand how or
from where that blessing enters. It would not want to lose that
good; it would not want to stir or speak or even look lest the
blessing go away.
3. [And this is what the bride says here according to my in-
terpretation, that the breasts of the Bridegroom give forth
fragrance greater than that of precious ointments.]
In these books I mentioned2 I spoke of what the soul must do
in order to make progress, and my purpose here is solely to ex-
plain the type of prayer I am dealing with. Thus, I do not want
to enlarge any more than to say that in this friendship (for the
244
St. Teresa of Avila
Lord now shows the soul that He loves it in so particular a way
that there is nothing separating the two) great truths are com-
municated to the soul. For this light that dazzles the soul, since
it is not understood, makes one see the vanity of the world. The
soul doesn't see the good Master who teaches it, although it
understands that He is with it. But it is left so well instructed,
with such great effects and fortitude in the virtues, that it
doesn't know itself afterward; nor would it want to do or say
anything other than praise the Lord. While in this joy it is so
enwrapped and absorbed that it doesn't seem to be within itself
but in a kind of divine intoxication so that it doesn't know what
it wants or what it says or what it asks for. In sum, it doesn't
know itself; but it isn't outside itself to the extent that it fails to
understand something of what is going on.
4. But when this most wealthy Bridegroom desires to enrich
and favor the soul more, He changes it into Himself to such a
point that, just as a person is caused to swoon from great
pleasure and happiness, it seems to the soul it is left suspended
in those divine arms, leaning on that sacred side and those
divine breasts. It doesn't know how to do anything more than
rejoice, sustained by the divine milk with which its Spouse is
nourishing it and making it better so that He might favor it,
and it might merit more each day.
When it awakens from that sleep and that heavenly inebria-
tion, it remains as though stupefied and dazed and with a holy
madness. It seems to me it can say these words: Your breasts
are better than wine.
While it was in that intoxication, the soul thought it had no
farther to ascend. But when it saw itself in a higher degree and
completely drenched in the countless grandeurs of God, and
sustained in this way, it makes a delicate comparison and says:
Your breasts are better than wine.
An infant doesn't understand how it grows nor does it know
how it gets its milk, for without its sucking or doing anything,
often the milk is put into its mouth.3 Likewise, here, the soul is
completely ignorant. It knows neither how nor from where that
great blessing came to it, nor can it understand. It knows that
the blessing is the greatest that can be tasted in life, even if all
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 4 245
the delights and pleasures of the world were joined together. It
sees that it is nourished and made better and doesn't know
when it deserved this. It is instructed in great truths without
seeing the Master who teaches it; fortified in virtues and
favored by One who knows it well and can do these things for
it. It doesn't know what to compare His grace to, unless to the
great love a mother has for her child in nourishing and caress-
ing it.
5. [This comparison is appropriate. For the soul is so
elevated and beyond the ability to benefit from its intellect,
that it is, in part, like an infant that delights in a caress but
doesn't have an intellect by which to understand how that good
comes. For in the sleep coming from the divine inebriation the
soul is still functioning because it understands and does
something. It understands that it is near its God, and thus it
has reason for saying: Your breasts are better than wine.
6. Great is this favor, my Spouse; a pleasing feast. Precious
wine do You give me, for with one drop alone You make me
forget all of creation and go out from creatures and myself, so
that I will no longer want the joys and comforts that my sen-
suality desired up until now. Great is this favor; I did not
deserve it.
After His Majesty granted it a greater favor and brought it
closer to Himself, it rightly says: Your breasts are better than
wine. The past favor was a great one, my God, but much
greater is this one because I do less in it, and thus it is in every
way better. The joy and delight of the soul are great when it ar-
rives here.]
7. Oh, my daughters, may our Lord give us understanding
or, to put it better, a taste — for there is no other way of being
able to understand — of what the soul's joy is in this state. Let
worldly people worry about their lordships, riches, delights,
honors, and food, for even if a person were able to enjoy all
these things without the accompanying trials — which is im-
possible—he would not attain in a thousand years the hap-
piness that in one moment is enjoyed by a soul brought here by
the Lord. St. Paul says, all the trials of the world are not wor-
thy to be compared with the glory which we await. 4 I say that
246
St. Teresa of Avila
in addition they are not worthy nor can they merit even one
hour of this satisfaction, joy, and delight given here by God to
the soul. There is no comparison between this delight and the
baseness of worldly things, in my opinion. Nor can one merit so
delightful a favor from our Lord, so intimate a union, or a love
so destined to be experienced and felt. How ridiculous it would
be to compare the trials of worldly people with those suffered
here by the soul. If trials are not suffered for God, they are
worth nothing; if they are suffered for Him, His Majesty adapts
them to our strength. Thus, if we are so afraid of them it is
because we are fainthearted and miserable.
8. Oh, Christians and my daughters! Let us now, for love of
the Lord, awake from this sleep and behold that He does not
keep the reward of loving Him for the next life alone. The pay
begins in this life. O my Jesus, who could explain the benefit
that lies in throwing ourselves into the arms of this Lord of ours
and making an agreement with His Majesty that / look at my
Beloved, and my Beloved at me, 5 and that He look after my
things and I look after His!6 Let's not, as the saying goes, love
ourselves to death. I repeat, my God, and beg You through the
blood of your Son that You grant me this favor: Let Him kiss
me with the kiss of His mouth, for without You, what am
I, Lord? If I am not close to You, what am I worth? If I stray a
little from Your Majesty, where will I end up?
9. Oh, my Lord, my Mercy, and my Good! And what
greater good could I want in this life than to be so close to You,
that there be no division between You and me? With this com-
panionship, what can be difficult? What can one not under-
take for You, being so closely joined? What is there in me to be
grateful for, my Lord? Rather, I must blame myself very much
for my failure to serve You. And thus I beg You, with St.
Augustine, and with full determination, that You "give me
what You command and command what You will."7 Never,
with Your favor and help, will I turn my back on You.
10. Now I see, my Bridegroom, that You are mine.8 I can-
not deny it. You came into the world for me; for me You
underwent severe trials; for me You suffered many lashes; for
me You remain in the most Blessed Sacrament; and now You
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 5
247
grant me so many wonderful favors. Well then, O most holy
bride, with what ardor I have said what you say: "What can I
do for my Spouse?"
11. [Indeed, Sisters, I don't know how to go on from here.
How can I be Yours, my God? What can one who has used so
unskillfully the favors You have granted do for You? What can
be expected of her services? Since with Your help she does
something, consider what a poor worm will be able to do. Why
does a Lord so powerful need her? Oh, love! How I would want
to say this word everywhere because love alone is that which
can dare say with the bride, / am my Beloved's. He gives us
permission to think that He, this true Lover, my Spouse and
my Good, needs us.
12. Since He gives us permission, let us repeat, daughters,
my Beloved is mine and I am my Beloved's. You are mine,
Lord? If You come to me, why do I doubt that I will be able to
serve You? From here on, Lord, I want to forget myself and
look only at how I can serve You and have no other desire than
to do Your will. But my desire is not powerful, my God; You
are the powerful One. What I can do is be determined; thus
from this very moment I am determined to serve You through
deeds.]
Continues to deal with the prayer of union and tells of the
riches the soul acquires in it through the mediation of the Holy
Spirit. Tells of the souls determination to suffer trials for the
Beloved.
NOW LET US question the bride. Let us learn from this
blessed soul that has approached the divine mouth and
been sustained by these heavenly breasts; and we shall learn
from it further what we must do, how we must act, what we
Chapter 5
I sat down under the shadow of Him whom I
desired and His fruit is sweet to my taste. (Sg.
2:3)
248
St. Teresa of A Vila
must say if the Lord is to bring us sometime to the experience
of this wonderful favor.
2. What she tells us is: / sat down under the shadow of Him
whom I desired and His fruit is sweet to my taste. The King
brought me into the wine cellar and set charity in order in me. 1
She says, I sat down under the shadow of Him whom I desired.
God help me, how exposed to the sun, and burned by it, is the
soul! She says she sat under the shadow of Him whom she
desired. Here she compares Him to the apple tree, and she says
its fruit is sweet to her taste. O souls that practice prayer, taste
all these words! How many ways there are of thinking about our
God. How different the kinds of food we can make from Him!
He is manna, for the taste we get from Him conforms to the
taste we prefer.2 Oh, what heavenly shade this is! And who
could say what the Lord reveals from it! I recall what the angel
said to the most Blessed Virgin, our Lady: the power of the
Most High will overshadow you. 3 How fortified will a soul be
when the Lord places it in this grandeur! Rightly can it sit
down and be assured.
3. Now note that for the most part, and almost always, God
gives these sublime gifts and great favors to persons who have
labored much in His service and desired His love and striven to
prepare themselves so that in all things they might be agreeable
to His Majesty. There may be some exception when the Lord
wishes to give some person a special call, as He did St. Paul, for
He brought him at once to the peak of contemplation and ap-
peared to him and spoke in such a way that immediately that
saint was truly exalted.4 But when souls are worn out from
many years of meditation and of having sought this
Bridegroom, and most weary of worldly things, they sit under
the shadow of Truth, they do not seek their comfort or calm or
rest anywhere except where they understand they can truly
have it. They place themselves under the protection of the
Lord; they desire no other. And how well they are acting by
trusting in His Majesty; for just as they have desired, they sit
under His shadow. Fortunate is the soul that merits to remain
under this shadow even from the viewpoint of things that can
be seen here below! In regard to things the soul alone can
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 5 249
understand — that's something else as I have often realized.
4. It seems that while the soul is in this delight that was
mentioned it feels itself totally engulfed and protected in this
shadow and kind of cloud of the Divinity. From it come in-
spirations and a delightful dew which indeed rightly takes away
the weariness that worldly things have caused the soul. The
soul feels there a kind of repose that will even make breathing
wearisome to it. And the faculties are so quiet and calm that
the will would not want them to admit any thoughts, even good
ones, nor does it admit any by way of inquiry or striving after
them. There's no need to move the hand or raise it — I'm refer-
ring to reflection — for anything, for the Lord gives from the
apple tree (to which she compares her Beloved) the fruit
already cut, cooked, and even chewed. So she says that His
fruit is sweet to her taste. For in this prayer all the soul does is
taste, without any work on the part of the faculties; and pre-
sent in this shadow of the Divinity — well does she say
"shadow," since we cannot see It clearly here below but only
under this cloud — is that brilliant Sun. This Sun sends, by
means of love, the knowledge that His Majesty is indescribably
close. I know that anyone who has undergone this experience
will understand how truly this meaning can be given to these
words spoken by the bride.
5. It seems to me the Holy Spirit must be a mediator be-
tween the soul and God, the One who moves it with such ar-
dent desires, for He enkindles it in a supreme fire, which is so
near. O Lord, how great are these mercies You show to the soul
here! May You be blessed and praised forever, for You are so
good a Lover. O my God and my Creator! Is it possible that
there is no one who loves You? Oh, alas, and how often it is I
who do not love You! Why didn't I merit to know You? How
low do the branches of this divine apple tree reach, so that at
times the soul may take hold of them by reflecting upon the
grandeurs and multitude of mercies shown to it, and that it
might see and enjoy the fruit that Jesus Christ, our Lord, drew
from His Passion, watering this tree with His precious blood,
with so admirable a love.
Previously, the soul says, it enjoyed sustenance from his divine
250
St. Teresa of A vila
breasts. As a beginner in receiving these favors the soul was
nourished by the Bridegroom. Now it is growing, and He is
enabling it to receive more. He nourishes it with apples.5 He
wants it to understand how it is obliged to serve and suffer.
And the Lord is not content with all this — something
marvelous, worthy of careful attention — for He understands
that the soul is totally His, without any other interests. This
means that things must not move it because of what they are,
but that it be moved because of who its God is and out of love
for Him, since He never ceases to commune with it in so many
ways and manners, as One who is Wisdom itself.
6. In the first kind of peace, it seemed that no more could
be given, yet this favor that was just mentioned is a much more
sublime one. It is badly explained because my only intention is
to note it briefly. In the book I mentioned to you,6 daughters,
you will find — if the Lord wills that it be published — the favor
explained much more clearly. Well now, what more could we
desire than this favor just mentioned? Oh, God help me, how
little we desire to reach Your grandeurs, Lord! How miserable
we would remain if Your giving were in conformity with our
asking! Now let us consider what the bride said further on.
Chapter 6
Treats of how the benefits of this loving union surpass all the
desires of the bride. Speaks of the suspension of the faculties and
tells how some souls reach this sublime prayer in a short time.
The King brought me into the wine cellar and
set charity in order within me. (Sg. 2:4)
WELL, NOW THAT THE SOUL is resting under the
longed-for shadow,1 and rightly so, what is left for it to
desire unless that it never lack this good? It doesn't think there
is anything more to desire. But our most sacred King has still
much to give. He would never want to do anything else than
give if He could find receivers. And as I have said often — I
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 6 251
want you never to forget, daughters — the Lord is never content
with giving us as little as we desire; I have seen it here.2 He
grants the soul in answer to some of its petitions an opportunity
to merit and suffer something for Him, whereas the soul's in-
tention was to suffer only what its strength could bear. Since
His Majesty can make one's strength increase in payment for
the little that one determines to do for Him, He will give so
many trials and persecutions and illnesses that a poor man
won't know himself.
2. This happened to me when I was quite young. Sometimes
I would say, "Oh, Lord, I didn't want so much." But His Maj-
esty gave strength and patience in such a way that even now I
am amazed at how I was able to suffer, and I would not ex-
change those trials for all the world's treasures.
The bride says: The King brought me. How appropriate this
name, "powerful King," is, for the Lord has no superior, nor
will His reign ever end. Surely the soul in such a state will
understand much about the greatness of this King; but not
everything since that is impossible in this mortal life.
3. She says: He brought me into the wine cellar; set charity
in order within me. I understand from these words the
grandeur of this favor. For a greater or less amount can be
given a person to drink, a good or a better wine, and the wine
will leave him more or less inebriated and intoxicated. So with
the favors of the Lord; to one He gives a little wine of devotion,
to another more, with another He increases it in such a way
that the person begins to go out from himself, from his sen-
suality, and from all earthly things; to some He gives great fer-
vor in His service; to others, impulses of love; to others, great
charity toward their neighbors. These gifts are given in such a
way that these persons go about so stupefied they do not feel
the great trials that take place here. But much is contained in
what the bride says. He brings her into the wine cellar so that
she may come out more abundantly enriched. It doesn't seem
the King wants to keep anything from her. He wants her to
drink in conformity with her desire and become wholly in-
ebriated, drinking of all the wines in God's storehouse. Let the
soul rejoice in these joys. Let it admire God's grandeurs.
252
St. Teresa of Avila
Let it not fear to lose its life from drinking so much beyond
what its natural weakness can endure. Let it die in this
paradise of delights. Blessed be such a death that so makes
one live! And truly this is what it makes the soul do. For the
marvels the soul understands are so great — without its
understanding how it understands — that it remains outside
itself. The bride refers to this in saying: He set charity in order
within me.
4. Oh, words that should never be forgotten by the soul to
whom the Lord gives delight! Oh, sovereign favor! How im-
possible it is to deserve if the Lord does not give the wealth re-
quired for it. Indeed the soul does not even find itself awake in
order to love. But blessed sleep, happy inebriation that makes
the Bridegroom supply for what the soul cannot do; that is, set
up so wonderful an order. For while the faculties are dead or
asleep, love remains alive. And the Lord ordains that the soul
function so wonderfully, without its understanding how, that it
is made one, in great purity, with the very Lord of love, who is
God. For no one hinders the soul, neither senses nor faculties (I
mean intellect and memory), nor is the will aware of itself.
5. I was wondering now whether there is some difference
between the will and love. And it seems to me there is. I don't
know whether or not I'm speaking foolishly. But it seems to me
that love is like an arrow sent forth by the will. If it travels with
all the force that the will has, freed from all earthly things, and
directed to God alone, it truly must wound His Majesty. Thus,
fixed in God Himself, who is love, it is brought back from there
with the greatest gain, as I shall say. I have been informed by
some persons whom our Lord has brought to this great favor in
prayer that He brings them to this holy inebriation with a
suspension and that even exteriorly one can see they are not in
themselves. When I ask what they feel, they are completely
unable to explain; nor could they know how to do so, nor
would they be able to understand anything of how love works
there.
6. The tremendous gain drawn from this kind of prayer is
clearly recognized through the effects, the virtues, the living
faith and the contempt for the world left in the soul. But since
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 6 253
these blessings and what the soul enjoys here are gifts, nothing
is understood — except at the beginning — for the sweetness is
very great. Thus what the bride says is clear: that is, the
wisdom of God supplies here for the soul, and He ordains the
way in which it gains these marvelous favors during that time.
Since it is so outside itself and so absorbed that it can do
nothing with the faculties, how can it merit? Well, is it possible
for God to grant it a favor so great that it wastes time and gains
nothing in Him? No, I don't think so.
7. Oh, secrets of God! Here there is no more to do than sur-
render our intellects and reflect that they are of no avail when
it comes to understanding the grandeurs of God. It is good to
recall here how God acted with the Blessed Virgin, our Lady.
In spite of all her wisdom she asked the angel: How can this be?
But after he answered, The Holy Spirit will come upon you;
the power of the Most High will overshadow you, 3 she engaged
in no further discussion. As one who had such great faith and
wisdom, she understood at once that if these two intervened,
there was nothing more to know or doubt. She did not act as do
some learned men (whom the Lord does not lead by this mode
of prayer and who haven't begun a life of prayer), for they
want to be so rational about things and so precise in their
understanding that it doesn't seem anyone else but they with
their learning can understand the grandeurs of God. If only
they would learn something from the humility of the most
Blessed Virgin!
8. O Blessed Lady, how perfectly we can apply to you what
takes place between God and the bride according to what is
said in the Song of Songs. And thus you can see, daughters, in
the Office of our Lady, which we recite each week, how much
in its antiphons and readings is taken from this Song of Songs.
As for other souls, each one can understand according to the
understanding God wants to give him, for he will see very clear-
ly if he is receiving some of these favors, similar to what the
bride says: He set charity in order within me. For souls that
receive this favor do not know where they were, or how through
a delight so sublime they could have pleased the Lord, or what
they were doing since they did not give Him thanks for it.
254
St. Teresa of A vila
9. O soul, beloved of God! Do not be anxious when His Maj-
esty brings you here and speaks so endearingly; as you will see
in many words that He says to the bride in the Song of Songs,
such as: You are all beautiful, my love,4 and many others, as I
say. By these He shows He is happy with her. Thus you should
believe that He will not consent to your being displeasing to
Him at that time, but He will help you in what you might not
have known so that He may be more pleased with you. He sees
the soul lost to itself, transported so as to love Him, and that
love's very force has taken away the intellect in order that the
soul may love more. Indeed, His Majesty is not wont to fail nor
can He fail to give Himself to the one who has given Him
everything, nor could He endure not doing so.
10. It seems to me His Majesty is embellishing with His gifts
this gold He has prepared and tested so as to see how many
carats the soul's love is. These gifts are bestowed in a thousand
ways and modes of which only the soul having arrived here will
be able to speak. This soul, which is the gold, no more moves
or works during this time than if it were in fact gold. And
divine Wisdom, happy to see it thus (since there are so few who
love Him with this strength) makes a thousand designs in the
gold with inlays of precious stones and enamels.
11. Well now, this soul, what does it do at this time? This is
what cannot be understood or known beyond what the bride
says: He set charity in order within me. The soul, at least if it
loves, does not know how nor does it understand what it loves.
The King's most intense love, which has brought the soul to
this high state, must have joined this soul's love to itself in such
a way that the intellect does not deserve to understand; but
these two loves become one again. Since the soul's love is
brought so truly close to the love of God, how can the intellect
reach that far? The intellect loses sight at that time, for the
union never lasts long, but is brief. And there God sets love in
order in such a way that it then knows well how to please His
Majesty and even afterward, without understanding on the
part of the intellect, as was said. But the intellect understands
well afterward when it sees this soul with the enamel and inlays
of precious stones and pearls of virtue, for it is amazed and can
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 6 255
say: Who is this that is as bright as the sunP
O true King, and how right the bride was in giving You this
name! For in a moment You can give riches and place them in
a soul that they may be enjoyed forever. How well ordered love
is in this soul!
12. I shall be able to give good examples of this because I
have met some persons in this stage of prayer. I now remember
one of them. Within three days the Lord gave her such bless-
ings that were it not for my experience with her for some years
and my seeing her always improve, I would not have believed
the blessings possible. And I saw Him do the same for another
within three months; and both were quite young. Others I have
seen to whom God grants this favor after a long time. I have
mentioned these two — and I could mention some
others — because I have written here that few are those to
whom our Lord grants these favors without their having
undergone many years of trials, and thus it may be understood
that there are some exceptions. One must not place limits on a
Lord so great and desirous to grant favors. I am speaking of
true favors from God, not of illusions or of the results of melan-
choly or of our own natural efforts. Only time will tell where
the favors come from. When they are from God the virtues
grow so strong and love becomes so enkindled that there's no
concealing the two. Even without any specific desire on the
part of the soul, they always bring profit to other souls.
13. The King set charity in order within me, set it in order
so well that the love the soul had for the world is taken away;
the soul's love of itself turns to disregard; its love for its relatives
is such that it loves them solely for God; its love for its
neighbors and its enemies is unbelievable unless ex-
perienced—a very strong love; its love of God is boundless, for
sometimes the love impels it so much that its lowly nature can-
not endure the love. And since the soul sees that it is now grow-
ing weak and about to die, it says: Sustain me with flowers; sur-
round me with apples for I am dying with the sickness of love. 6
256
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 7
Explains the bride's strong desires to suffer much for God and
neighbor and the abundant fruits that come to the Church
from souls favored by the divine union and detached from self-
interest.
Sustain me with flowers and surround me
with apples, for I am dying of love. (Sg. 2:5)
OH, HOW WELL this divine language applies to what I
want to speak of here! Holy bride, how is it that this
sweetness slays you! From what I have known, sometimes the
delight is so excessive that it seems to dissolve the soul in such a
way that there is no longer any desire to live. And do you ask
for flowers? What flowers will these be? Flowers will provide no
remedy unless you ask for them so as to die, for in truth
nothing else is desired when the soul arrives here. But this in-
terpretation doesn't fit well because the bride says: sustain me
with flowers. Asking to be sustained doesn't seem to me to in-
volve a request for death but for life and the desire to serve in
some way the One to whom she sees she owes so much.
2. Don't think, daughters, there is any exaggeration in say-
ing that she dies. As I have said, it indeed happens that love
sometimes operates with such force that it rules over all the
powers of the natural subject. Thus, I know a person who while
in this kind of prayer heard someone, writh a beautiful voice,
singing; and she certifies that, in her opinion, if the singing
had not stopped the soul would have gone out of itself on ac-
count of the great delight and sweetness the Lord gave it to en-
joy. His Majesty provided that the singing stop, for the one who
was in this suspension could easily have died. But because she
was powerless to stir or make any exterior movement, she
couldn't tell the one singing to stop. And she was clearly aware
of the danger she was in, but her state resembled that of some-
one in a deep sleep who is unable to come out of it and speak
even though he may want to.1
Meditations on the Song of Songs- Chap. 7 257
3. In this suspension the soul would not want to come out of
this sleep, nor would death be painful to it but great hap-
piness, for this is what it desires. And how happy a death it
would be, at the hands of this love! But sometimes His Majesty
gives it light to see that living is good for it. However, the soul
sees that its natural weakness will not be able to suffer that
good for long if the delight lasts, and begs Him for another
good so as to escape from that one that is so extraordinary, and
thus it says: sustain me with flowers.
The fragrance of these flowers is different from the
fragrance of flowers we smell here below. I understand by these
words that the soul is asking to perform great works in the serv-
ice of our Lord and of its neighbor. For this purpose it is happy
to lose that delight and satisfaction. Although a person's life
will become more active than contemplative, and one will
seemingly lose if the petition is granted, Martha and Mary
never fail to work almost together when the soul is in this state.
For in the active — and seemingly exterior — work the soul is
working interiorly. And when the active works rise from this in-
terior root, they become lovely and very fragrant flowers. For
they proceed from this tree of God's love and are done for Him
alone, without any self-interest. The fragrance from these
flowers spreads to the benefit of many. It is a fragrance that
lasts, not passing quickly, but having great effect.
4. I want to explain myself further so that you understand.
Someone preaches a sermon with the intention of benefitting
souls, but he is not so detached from human considerations
that he doesn't make some attempt to please, or to gain honor
or credit; or he has his mind set on receiving some canonry for
having preached well. There are also other things people do for
their neighbor's benefit — many things — and with a good inten-
tion, but with much care not to lose anything through them
and not to displease. They fear persecution; they want to be
pleasing to kings, lords, and the people; they proceed with the
discretion the world so much honors. This discretion is a
shelter for many imperfections; they call it "discretion," and
please God it will be.
5. These persons will serve His Majesty, and they profit
258
St. Teresa of Avila
much. But, in my opinion, such are not the works and flowers
asked for by the bride; she looks only for the honor and glory of
God in everything. Truly, I don't believe that souls brought to
this state by the Lord, from what I have understood of some,
think of themselves, and of whether they will lose or gain, any
more than if they did not exist. They look only at serving and
pleasing the Lord. And because they know the love He has for
His servants, they like to leave aside their own satisfaction and
good so as to please Him and serve and tell souls beneficial
truths by the best means they can. Nor do they, as I say, think
about whether or not they will themselves lose. They keep
before their minds the benefit of their neighbor, nothing else.
So as to please God more, they forget themselves for their
neighbor's sake, and they lose their lives in the challenge, as
did many martyrs. They are not aware of the words they say
while enveloped in so sublime a love of God, in their inebria-
tion from that heavenly wine. And if they are aware, they don't
care if they displease men. These souls do much good.
6. I recall now what I have often thought concerning that
holy Samaritan woman,2 for she must have been wounded by
this herb. How well she must have taken into her heart the
words of the Lord, since she left the Lord for the gain and
profit of the people of her village. This explains well what I am
saying. And in payment for her great charity, she merited to be
believed and to see the wonderful good our Lord did in that
village.3
It seems to me that one of the greatest consolations a person
can have on earth must be to see other souls helped through his
own efforts. Then, it seems to me, one eats the delicious fruit
of these flowers. Happy are those to whom the Lord grants
these favors. These souls are indeed obligated to serve Him.
This holy woman, in that divine intoxication, went shouting
through the streets. What amazes me is to see how the people
believed her — a woman. And she must not have been well-off
since she went to draw water. Indeed she was very humble
because when the Lord told her faults to her she didn't become
offended (as the world does now, for the truth is hard to bear),
but she told Him that He must be a prophet. In sum, the peo-
Meditations on the Song of Songs-Chap. 7 259
pie believed her; and a large crowd, on her word alone, went
out of the city to meet the Lord.
7. So I say that much good is done by those who, after
speaking with His Majesty for several years, when receiving His
gifts and delights, want to serve in laborious ways even though
these delights and consolations are thereby hindered. I say that
the fragrance of these flowers and works produced and flowing
from the tree of such fervent love lasts much longer. One of
these souls does more good with its words and works than do
many others whose works carry the dust of our sensuality and
some self-interest.
8. From these flowers comes the fruit, the apples of which
the bride then says: Surround me with apples. Give me trials,
Lord; give me persecutions. And truly this soul desires them
and indeed passes through them well. For since it no longer
looks to its own satisfaction but to what pleases God, its
pleasure is in somehow imitating the laborious life that Christ
lived.
By the "apple tree," I understand the tree of the cross
because it is said in another verse in the Song of Songs: under
the apple tree I raised you up.4 And a soul that is surrounded
by crosses, trials, and persecutions has a powerful remedy
against often continuing in the delight of contemplation. It
finds great delight in suffering; but suffering doesn't consume
it and waste its strength, as would this suspension, if very fre-
quent, of the faculties in contemplation. And the soul also has
another reason for making this request, for it must not be
always enjoying without serving and working in something. I
notice in some persons — there are not many because of our
sins — that the more they advance in this kind of prayer and the
gifts of our Lord the more attention they pay to the needs of
their neighbor, especially to the needs of their neighbors' souls.
For to draw one soul away from mortal sin it seems such per-
sons would give many lives, as I said at the beginning.
9. Who will make those to whom our Lord begins to give
these delights believe this? But perhaps it will seem to them
that such persons are not making good use of their lives and
that to remain in a corner enjoying this delight is what is im-
260
St. Teresa of A Vila
portant. It belongs to the Lord's providence, in my opinion,
that these beginners do not understand where these other souls
are because with this initial fervor they would immediately
want to leap forward to that stage. But such a quick move
ahead does not suit them, for they are still not weaned. It's
necessary that they be nourished some days more with the milk
I mentioned at the beginning.5 Let them remain close to those
divine breasts, for the Lord will take care, when they are
strong, to bring them further. Otherwise, they would not do
the good they think; rather they would harm themselves. Since
in the book I mentioned6 you will find very detailed explana-
tions about when a soul may go out to benefit others and about
the danger that lies in going out ahead of time, I do not want
to mention the matter here or enlarge upon this any more.
When I began, my intention was simply to explain how you can
find comfort when you hear some words from the Song of
Songs, and how, even though they are obscure to your
understanding, you can reflect upon the profound mysteries
contained in them. It would be bold of me to go on at any
greater length.
10. May it please the Lord that what I have said may not
have been bold. The work has been done to obey the one who
commanded me to do it. May His Majesty be served in
everything. If something good is here, you can indeed believe
that it does not come from me; the Sisters here with me have
seen that because of my many occupations I have written this
hastily. Beseech His Majesty that I may understand through
experience what has been said. Any Sister who thinks she has
some experience of these delights should praise our Lord and
ask Him for the latter-mentioned works and trials so that the
gain will not be just for herself.
May it please our Lord to keep us in His hands and teach us
always how to carry out His will, amen.
The Interior Castle
THE INTERIOR CASTLE
INTRODUCTION
IN THE WAY OF PERFECTION, Teresa assures her readers
that the prayer of the Our Father leads to the fount of living
waters. She then refers them to her Life, the book she had writ-
ten in which she describes what the soul feels when it drinks
this living water, how God satisfies and takes away thirst for
earthly things.
Some ten or so years later, after she had labored much and
increased the number of her new Carmels to twelve, she was
speaking again, on May 28, 1577, for basically the same
reasons, of what was contained in her Life. But this time the
result was the command to write another book since the Life
was then in the scrupulously cautious hands of the Inquisition.
The scene of the fateful incident took place at Toledo at the
Carmel founded by Teresa. Fr. Gratian, her confessor and also
enthusiastic supporter as a Carmelite friar in her reform, has
left us his account of the event: "What happened with regard
to the book of the Dwelling Places is that while I was superior
and speaking with her once in Toledo of many things concern-
ing her spirit, she said to me: 'Oh, how well this point was
described in the book about my life which is in the Inquisition!'
I answered: 'Since we cannot have it, recall what you can and
other things and write another book, but put down the doc-
trine in a general way without naming the one to whom the
things you mentioned there happened.' And thus I ordered her
to write this book of the Dwelling Places.'^
263
264
St. Teresa of Avila
Now sixty- two years old, Teresa had for five years been
aware of the depth of spiritual life she describes as the ultimate
stage of the mystical journey. She had come, then, to an ex-
periential grasp of so much more than what she had written
previously in her Life. In evidence of this, toward the outset of
her Interior Castle she admits: "And although in other things
I've written the Lord has given me some understanding, I know
there were certain things I had not understood as I have come
to understand them now, especially certain more difficult
things."2
"Business Matters and Poor Health"
If from the viewpoint of her own more evolved experience
and understanding the command to undertake such a task
again seemed well advised, from the standpoint of her physical
sufferings and the external problems and trials that were being
heaped upon her at this time the mere thought of writing a
new book was painful to her. The prologue begins in com-
plaint. Not many things that obedience had asked of her — and
obedience had asked many difficult things — were as difficult as
the chore of writing at this time yet another book. "I have been
experiencing now for three months," she wearily reports, "such
great noise and weakness in my head that I've found it a hard-
ship even to write concerning necessary business matters."3
In addition to this miserable health, the year was a
troublesome and discouraging one; what she had struggled for
zealously over the previous fifteen years could now be sup-
pressed by the new authorities. Her work had become the
center of a conflict that raged between Madrid and Rome. The
jurisdictional complexities became so tangled and the
misunderstandings, rivalries, and calumnies so much a part of
everyday life that historians today find it difficult to judge
objectively.4
In 1576 Fr. Jeronimo Tostado arrived in Spain with the
faculties of visitator, reformer, and commissary general of the
Spanish provinces and with the responsibility of carrying out
The Interior Castle-Introduction
265
the decrees of the order's chapter at Piacenza which had
directed that the houses opened in Andalusia against the will of
the general be abandoned. The "contemplative," or
"primitive," fathers were forbidden to form a province or a
congregation separate from the province of Castile. Mother
Teresa was not to leave her monastery. The unpleasant rumor
was that Tostado had come to quash Teresa s work; and his
presence was the cause of considerable disquiet. But the papal
nuncio in Spain, Nicolas Ormaneto, who favored Teresa and
her foundation, advised Tostado to postpone his visit of An-
dalusia (where Gratian, under an assignment of the nuncio,
was on a mission of reform among the Carmelites there) and to
pass instead on to Portugal. In a letter dated September 7,
1576, Teresa thus wrote to Maria de San Jose: "But, as God has
delivered us from Tostado, I hope His Majesty will help us in
everything. You are not maligning him in describing how he
has worked against the discalced Fathers and against me, for
he has given clear indications of having done so."
In June of 1577, Ormaneto died, and without the nuncio's
favor Teresa's followers now felt lost. With the death of Or-
maneto, the Mother foundress thought it would be better to
return to her monastery of St. Joseph in Avila and to remain
there, "as a kind of prisoner" in accordance with the order of
the general definitory. To make matters worse, Ormaneto's
successor, Felipe Sega, whose reference to Teresa as a "restless
gadabout" at least demonstrated a lack of firsthand informa-
tion, immediately set out with his new authority to discard the
plans of reform sponsored by Ormaneto.
About this time, as well, there appeared a scurrilous pam-
phlet denouncing Teresa and calumniating Gratian with a
number of crimes, some too foolish and lurid to be believed but
yet sufficient to arouse at least faint suspicions. Again in Oc-
tober of 1577 Teresa was once more elected prioress of the In-
carnation; she felt nothing but aversion toward taking up
again such a responsibility. When this election became known,
Tostado unwittingly came to Teresa's rescue and gave orders to
annul the valid election. The nuns persisting to vote for Teresa
in a second election were duly excommunicated. Though hap-
266
St. Teresa of Avila
py to be left in peace, Teresa protested the injustice: "Learned
men declare that they are not excommunicated at all and that
the friars are going against the Council in declaring anyone
elected prioress who has a minority of votes .... Everyone is
shocked to see something like this, so offensive to everyone."5
It was while she was in the midst of all these unpleasant and
disturbing events that Teresa was engaged in writing her
sublime book on prayer. The work was begun, appropriately,
on the feast of the Holy Trinity, June 2, 1577. Within little
more than a month, she had proceeded as far as the fifth
dwelling place. We may suppose this from the copy made in
Toledo and ending with chapter two of the fifth dwelling place
when Teresa departed for Avila in mid-July. Already in
chapter two of the fourth dwelling place she had alluded to the
inconvenience of interruptions: "God help me with what I have
undertaken! I've already forgot what I was dealing with, for
business matters and poor health have forced me to set this
work aside just when I was at my best; and since I have a poor
memory everything will come out confused because I can't go
back to read it over."6
Nothing more was done on the work until the beginning of
November, as she asserts at the outset of chapter four of the
fifth dwelling place: "About five months have passed since I
began, and because my head is in no condition to read over
what I've written, everything will have to continue without
order, and perhaps some things will be said twice."7 She com-
pleted the remaining large section, more than half the work,
by November 29, within less than a month. Thus the actual
time spent on this spiritual masterpiece was a mere two
months.
Inspiration
Despite her trials and ill health, Teresa held firmly to her
belief that "obedience usually lessens the difficulty of things
that seem impossible."8 She prayed when beginning: "May He,
The Interior Castle-Introduction
267
in whose mercy I trust and who has helped me in other more
difficult things so as to favor me, do this work for me."9 Her
prayer was heard. By the time she had reached the epilogue,
her mood was entirely changed: "Although when I began
writing this book I am sending you I did so with the aversion I
mentioned in the beginning, now that I am finished I admit
the work has brought me much happiness, and I consider the
labor, though I confess it was small, well spent."10
At times she seemed to feel special inspiration, and that a
work of such brilliance was brought to a conclusion so quickly
is itself extraordinary. In one instance she wrote: "If what I
have said up to now about this prayer is worthwhile, I know
clearly that I'm not the one who has said it."1 1 When she turns
to the topic of mystical prayer she prays: "In order to speak of
the fourth dwelling places I really need to entrust myself, as
I've already done, to the Holy Spirit and beg Him to speak for
me from here on that I may say something about the remaining
rooms in a way that you will understand."1 2 Among those who
actually saw Teresa writing this book was Maria del Nacimien-
to who gave the following testimony: "When the said Mother
Teresa of Jesus wrote the book called The Dwelling Places, she
was in Toledo, and this witness saw that it was after Commun-
ion that she wrote this book, and when she wrote she did so
very rapidly and with such great beauty in her countenance
that this witness was in admiration, and she was so absorbed in
what she was writing that even if some noise was made there, it
did not hinder her; wherefore this witness understood that in
all that which she wrote and during the time she was writing
she was in prayer."13
The Image of a Castle
The Interior Castle has come to be regarded as Teresa's best
synthesis. In it the spiritual doctrine is presented through the
unifying outline of seven dwelling places among which there is
a division into two sections. The first three groups of dwelling
places speak of what is achievable through human efforts and
268
St. Teresa of A vila
the ordinary help of grace. The remaining four groups deal
with the passive, or mystical, elements of the spiritual life. By
the term "supernatural prayer" (contemplation), Teresa refers
to the whole series of forms and degrees of infused or mystical
prayer. By the term "perfect contemplation," she refers only to
those pure forms of contemplation found in the fifth, sixth,
and seventh dwelling places.
The question has been raised, as one would expect in
academics, as to how Teresa conceived the notion of using the
castle as a symbol for the interior life. What she reveals leaves
room for interpretation: "Today while beseeching our Lord to
speak for me because I wasn't able to think of anything to say,
nor did I know how to begin to carry out this obedience, there
came to my mind what I shall now speak about, that which will
provide us with a basis to begin with. It is that we consider our
soul to be like a castle made entirely out of a diamond or of
very clear crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in
heaven there are many dwelling places."14 Previously, in the
Way of Perfection, with similar thoughts, Teresa had advised:
"Well, let us imagine that within us is an extremely rich
palace, built entirely of gold and precious stones; in sum, built
for a Lord such as this. . . Imagine, also, that in this palace
dwells this mighty King."15
In an interesting account, one of her early biographers, Fr.
Diego de Yepes, testifies that Teresa told him that on the eve of
Trinity Sunday, 1577, God showed her in a flash the whole
book. There was "a most beautiful crystal globe like a castle in
which she saw seven dwelling places, and in the seventh, which
was in the center, the King of Glory dwelt in the greatest splen-
dor. From there He beautified and illumined all those dwelling
places to the outer wall. The inhabitants received more light
the nearer they were to the center. Outside of the castle all was
darkness, with toads, vipers, and other poisonous vermin.
While she was admiring this beauty which the grace of God
communicates to souls, the light suddenly disappeared and,
although the King of Glory did not leave the castle, the crystal
was covered with darkness and was left as ugly as coal and with
an unbearable stench, and the poisonous creatures out-
The Interior Castle Introduction
269
side the wall were able to get into the castle. Such was the state
of a soul in sin."16 This was told to Yepes, a former confessor of
Teresa's, when she met him by chance one snowy day in an inn
in Arevalo either in 1579 or 1580. Yepes also adds with a cer-
tain self-satisfaction that "although in the Book of Her Life
and the Dwelling Places she mentions this, she doesn't in either
of them communicate this vision as specifically as she did to
me."17 But if this vision came to Teresa in 1577, we are left
wondering both how she could have referred to it in her Life,
written in the 1560's, and about the value of Diego de Yepes'
testimony. Nonetheless, Teresa's vague expression "there came
to my mind" (se me ofrecio) does not rule out the possibility of
a vision as a basis of her symbol.
As described in her Life, she once did receive a mystical vi-
sion of God's presence and what it is for a soul to be in mortal
sin: "Once while I was reciting with all the Sisters the hours of
the Divine Office, my soul suddenly became recollected; and it
seemed to me to be like a brightly polished mirror, without any
part on the back or sides or top or bottom that wasn't totally
clear. In its center Christ, our Lord, was shown to me ... I was
given understanding of what it is for a soul to be in mortal sin.
It amounts to clouding this mirror with mist and leaving it
black; and thus this Lord cannot be revealed or seen even
though He is always present giving us being."18 Later in the
same chapter it seems from her reference that this experience
influenced her thinking when she compares the Divinity to a
very clear diamond in which everything is visible including sin
with all its ugliness.19
Whatever the speculation on matters like the above, the point
must be made that the Interior Castle is principally the fruit of
her own experience, and though Teresa makes the effort to hide
her identity by referring to this other person she knows, her
talents for concealing her identity were abysmally poor.
The Synthesis
Although the outer wall of the castle (the body) is ordinary,
270
St. Teresa of A vila
it nonetheless may lure the soul's attention from the inner
brilliant castle.20 Inside the castle are many dwelling places,
above, below, and to the sides. In other words, the spiritual life
that goes on within the castle is a complex matter involving the
individual's capacities, the diversity of ways, and differing
spiritual depths. The seven stages represent only types and
allow for a wide range of variations. In speaking of the seven
dwelling places, we must keep in mind that "in each of these
there are many others, below and above and to the sides, with
lovely gardens and fountains and labyrinths, such delightful
things that you would want to be dissolved in praises of the
great God who created the soul in His own image and
likeness."21 At the center of the castle is God's dwelling place.
The gate of entry is prayer.22 Prayer is a door that opens up
into the mystery of God and at the same time a means of com-
muning with Him. It actuates the personal relationship with
the Lord present in the very depths of the spirit.
The first dwelling places. Setting aside those souls outside
the castle, paralysed and crippled, in need of special healing
from the Lord Himself if they are to enter,23 Teresa turns her
attention to those who have entered the first area. Little of the
glowing light from the King's royal chamber filters into these
first dwelling places. Too many things entice and distract souls
here and thus prevent them from taking the time to search for
the true light. "So, I think, must be the condition of the soul.
Even though it may not be in a bad state, it is so involved in
worldly things and so absorbed with its possessions, honor, or
business affairs, as I have said, that even though as a matter of
fact it would want to see and enjoy its beauty these things do
not allow it to; nor does it seem that it can slip free from so
many impediments."24 Such people do have some good desires,
however; and they even pray on occasion. Their need, as is true
of everyone, is for self-knowledge and for knowledge of the
beauty of a soul in grace and of the ugliness of one in sin; in a
word, for some insight into the Christian mystery of sin and
grace. Self-knowledge and humility grow as the soul moves on-
ward through the castle toward the center.
The second dwelling places. Here we have rooms set apart
The Interior Castle-Introduction
271
for those who have taken some first steps in the practice of
prayer, who are more receptive to the promptings and invita-
tions of Christ's grace which comes especially through external
means such as books, sermons, good friendships, and through
trials. The struggle with the forces of evil is now more keenly
felt, and the time is ripe for the characteristically Teresian
determination to persevere convinced that the spiritual life
cannot be grounded on consolations. Conformity with God's
will must be the goal of one's strivings.
The third dwelling places. To persevere in prayer and the
struggle involved is to go forward.25 Those who have come to
this stage begin to long not to offend His Majesty; they guard
against venial sin, are fond of both ascetical practices and
periods of recollection, seek to use their time well, practice
charity toward their neighbor, and maintain balance in the use
of speech and dress and in the management of their household.
They are good Christians, and the Lord will not deny these
souls entrance into the final dwelling place if they so desire.26
Like the young man in the Gospel, however, they could turn
away upon hearing the requirements for becoming perfect.
Any threat to wealth or honor will quickly uncover their at-
tachments to these; and they are excessively discreet about
their health — to the point of fearing everything.27 In addition
to their reluctance to part with wealth and honor, they have a
tendency to be too easily shocked by the faults of others and
quickly distraught by a little dryness.28 Though these persons
find more consolation in the spiritual life than they do in
material comforts and distractions, they seldom receive the
deeper, more delectable peace and quiet of contemplation ex-
cept occasionally as an invitation to prepare better for what lies
ahead.29 They need someone who is free of the world's illusions
with whom they might speak.
Dealing less extensively with these first three dwelling places,
Teresa says little about prayer; nor does she give advice about
methods. The impression left on her reader is that she is anx-
ious to advance quickly to the part that deals more immediate-
ly with what God does; and she complains that while we are ad-
monished to pray, only what we can do ourselves is explained
272
St. Teresa of Avzla
and little said of what the Lord does, "I mean about the super-
natural."30 It is in response to this need souls have of knowing
about passive prayer that Teresa felt she could contribute.
The question might be raised here: is it not useless for people
to read about mystical prayer and favors when they do not
themselves, for whatever reason, experience the same things?
In answer to this, Teresa replies that learning about God's
work will lead a receptive person to the prayer of praise.
Characteristically, she reasons that if she who was so wretched
was led to this praise when she read of such things, how much
more will good and humble souls praise Him upon learning of
them. Also, she thinks that these favors superabound with love
and fortitude enabling a person to do more good and to
journey with less toil. Knowledge of these favors will make the
readers aware of how much they may lose through their own
fault. Furthermore, the testimony she gives of her con-
templative experience, in which so many aspects of the Chris-
tian faith are illumined, provides the theologian with a rich
abundance of material for reflection.31
The fourth dwelling places. The beginning of the super-
natural or mystical marks off this section and presents Teresa
with the problem of how to explain infused prayer.32 She first
seeks a solution through an analysis of the difference between
consolations (contentos) and spiritual delight (gustos); she
notes that the former have their beginning in our human
nature and end in God while the latter have their beginning in
God and overflow to human nature.33 The consolations, then,
result from our own efforts accompanied by God's grace; the
spiritual delight is received not through human efforts but
passively. In this dwelling place the first degrees of infused
prayer are discussed. Though there are no rules about the
length of time required to reach this point, "the important
thing is not to think much but to love much; and so do that
which best stirs you to love."34 In Teresa's thinking, love
"doesn't consist in great delight but in desiring with strong
determination to please God in everything, in striving, insofar
as possible, not to offend Him, and in asking Him for the ad-
vancement of the honor and glory of His Son."35
The Interior Castle-Introduction
273
This contemplative prayer begins with a passive experience
of recollection, a gentle drawing of the faculties inward; it is
different from recollection achieved at the cost of human ef-
fort.36 This prayer of infused recollection is a less intense form
of initial contemplation or, as called by Teresa, the prayer of
quiet. While the will finds rest in the prayer of quiet, in the
peace of God's presence, the intellect (in Teresa's terminology)
continues to move about. One should let the intellect go and
surrender oneself into the arms of love,37 for distractions, the
wandering mind, are a part of the human condition and can
no more be avoided than can eating and sleeping.
In a further effort to explain the difference between ac-
quired and infused prayer, she turns to another analogy: the
different ways in which two water troughs are filled. One
trough is filled with water channelled through aqueducts, by
the exercise of a great deal of ingenuity while the other is filled
by a spring bubbling up from the very spot where the trough is.
However, the worth of one's prayer is not judged by its passive
character; rather, "it is in the effects and deeds following after-
ward that one discerns the true value of prayer."38
Finally, in this dwelling place since the passive prayer is in its
beginning stages, the natural (active) and the supernatural
(passive) are joined. It is not unusual for souls to enter here.
The fifth dwelling places. The prayer of union characterizes
these rooms, an experience in which the faculties become com-
pletely silent, or, in Teresa's words, are suspended, and which
leaves a certitude that the soul "was in God and God was in
it."39 Such certitude is not present when the union is merely
partial as in the previous dwelling place.40
Here Teresa, never wanting in her attempts to find the best ex-
planation, turns to another analogy. Leaving aside the castle and
the troughs of water, she finds an unusual comparison as an ex-
ample for explaining what is in her mind: the silkworm. Through
the image of the silkworm she speaks ingeniously of death and of
new life in Christ. In this prayer of union, God Himself becomes
the dwelling place or cocoon in which a person dies. Once a soul
is indeed dead to itself and its attachments, it breaks forth from
the cocoon transformed as does a small white butterfly.41
274
St. Teresa of A vila
Having made the point of the soul's death in Christ, Teresa
introduces her final analogy which serves to lead her readers
through the remaining dwelling places to the center of the cas-
tle: marriage and its preparatory stages. In her day, before two
people became engaged, they progressed through certain
stages by which they sought to know first if there was any
likeness between them and then whether there was any chance
for love. If these were affirmatively established, they shared in
additional meetings so as to deepen their knowledge of each
other. In these experiences of union, then, His Majesty is
desirous that the soul may get to know Him better.42
Teresa makes a final plea that love be not idle. One so in-
timate with His Majesty must walk with special care and atten-
tiveness in the exercise of virtue and with particular emphasis
on love of neighbor, humility (the desire to be considered the
least), and the faithful performance of ordinary tasks.43
The sixth dwelling places. The longest section of the Interior
Castle is devoted to this stage of the inward journey. Teresa
deals here with many extraordinary mystical phenomena.
Though the spiritual betrothal takes place in these rooms, the
desires of the soul at a cost to itself must first increase.44
Through both vehement desires for God and the sufferings
these desires cause, the Lord enables the soul to have the
courage to be joined with Him and take Him as its Spouse.45
Aware that readers will wonder why all this courage is
necessary for something that should be looked upon as an at-
tractive opportunity, Teresa asserts strongly: "I tell you there is
need for more courage than you think."46 Without the
courage, which must be given by God, such a union would be
impossible. This fortitude comes through many trials both ex-
terior and interior: opposition from others; praise (itself
becoming a trial); severe illnesses; inner sufferings, fears, and
misunderstanding on the part of the confessor and the conse-
quent anxiety that God will allow one to be deceived; and a
feeling of unbearable inner oppression and even of being re-
jected by God.47
Other preparations for the betrothal come in the form of
certain spiritual awakenings and impulses deep within the soul.
The Interior Castle-Introduction 275
These are of many kinds and include the woundings of love
that can cause at one and the same time both pain and
delight.48
The betrothal itself takes place when His Majesty "gives the
soul raptures that draw it out of its senses. For if it were to see
itself so near this great majesty while in its senses, it would
perhaps die."49 Though the soul in ecstasy is without con-
sciousness in its outward life, it was never before so awake to
the things of God nor did it ever before have so deep an
enlightenment and knowledge of God.50
Besides locutions from God with their beneficial effects, the
soul may now also begin to receive through intellectual and im-
aginative visions understanding about the divine mysteries.51
The Lord shows it heavenly secrets. Some are so sublime that it
is incapable of explaining anything about them; others can be
explained to some extent. The supernatural realities that
became the objects of Teresa's mystical experience were so
varied and complex that the scholar is left disconcerted in his
efforts to categorize them. Accompanying the discussion of
these diverse favors are also many sharp analyses and keenly
perceptive rules for discerning authentic mystical experiences
from pseudo-mystical phenomena. The effects the authentic
favors leave in the soul are like the jewels the Spouse gives to
the betrothed; they are knowledge of the grandeur of God,
self-knowledge together with humility, and rejection of earthly
things except of those that can be used in the Lord's service.52
Finally, joy will reach such an excess that the soul will want to
be a herald to the entire world that all might help it praise the
Lord.53
When speaking of the intellectual and imaginative visions of
Christ, Teresa pauses to make some firm assertions about the
human and divine Christ present throughout one's spiritual
pilgrimage. He is the one through whom all blessings come. No
state is so sublime that a person must always be occupied with
divinity and thus obliged to empty the mind of all reference to
the human Christ. "Life is long, and there are in it many trials,
and we need to look at Christ our model, how He suffered
them, and also at His apostles and saints, so as to bear these
276
St. Teresa of Avila
trials with perfection. Jesus is too good a companion for us to
turn away from Him."54 And here Teresa makes an important
distinction between discursive meditation about Christ and
contemplative presence to Him. The inability of contemplative
souls to engage in discursive thought about the mysteries of the
Passion and life of Christ in their prayer is very common, she
holds. But contemplating these mysteries, "dwelling on them
with a simple gaze," in Teresa's words, "will not impede the
most sublime prayer."55 On the contrary, an effort to forget
Christ and live in continual absorption in the Divinity will
result in a failure to enter the last two dwelling places. Teresa is
most insistent on this. The purification of the person is realized
not merely through the sufferings inherent to the human con-
dition but especially through contact with the person of Christ
in his humanity and divinity.
Through these many favors and purifications, the desires of
love are always increasing and the flight of the butterfly ever
more restless. These desires reach a point of extreme spiritual
torment causing the soul a final purification of the spirit before
entering the seventh dwelling place, "just as those who will
enter heaven must be cleansed in purgatory."56 Not only can
this intense spiritual torment cause ecstasy, as can intense
spiritual joy, but also it can place one in danger of death.57
Nonetheless, the soul is aware that this spiritual suffering is a
precious favor.
The seventh dwelling places. On account of these moments
of great illumination, Teresa is able to teach that there are no
closed doors between the sixth and the seventh dwelling places.
If she divides them, it is "because there are things in the last
that are not revealed to those who have not yet reached it."58 In
the prayer of union explained in the fifth dwelling place and
the raptures of the sixth, the Lord makes the soul blind and
deaf as was St. Paul in his conversion. When God joins the soul
to Himself, it doesn't understand anything of the nature and
kind of favor enjoyed.59 But in the seventh dwelling place the
union is wrought differently: "Our good God now desires to
remove the scales from the soul's eyes and let it see and under-
stand, although in a strange way, something of the favor He
The Interior Castle-Introduction
277
grants it."60 Now fortified, a person lifted up to these exalted
mysteries no longer loses equilibrium or falls into ecstasy, but
rather experiences them as a proper object, as connatural.
Entry into these last and most luminous dwelling places takes
place through an amazing intellectual vision of the Most Bless-
ed Trinity. Teresa places much emphasis on the depth at
which this experience occurs, a spiritual profundity previously
unrevealed, in "the extreme interior, in some place very deep
within itself."61 Though the presence of the Trinity remains
and is felt habitually, it is not revealed in the fullness of light as
at first or sometimes afterward when the Lord "desires that the
window of the intellect be opened."62 What seems awesome is
that the habitual intellectual vision of the Trinity does not in-
terfere with multiple and diverse daily duties carried out as acts
of service.
The grace of spiritual marriage, of perfect union, is be-
stowed also in this center dwelling place and occurs through an
imaginative vision of the Lord's most sacred humanity "so that
the soul will understand and not be ignorant of receiving this
sovereign gift."63 The vision was so much at variance with
previous ones that it left Teresa "stupefied," for, as does the vi-
sion of the Trinity, this takes place in that most interior depth
of the spirit. In successive experiences of this grace, which is
repeatable, the vision is an intellectual one. Suggesting the
trait of inseparability, the term "marriage" designates the
union and the degree of His Majesty's love. It is so great and
reaches such a point that the spirit is made one with God 'just
as those who are married cannot be separated."64 With no
allowance for division, as there is in spiritual betrothal (likened
to the joining and separation of the two candles), the union of
spiritual marriage makes Teresa think of the rain that has
fallen into a river, or of a stream that enters the sea, or of the
beams of light entering a room through different windows and
becoming one.65
At this point the butterfly dies with the greatest joy because
its new life is Christ. In St. Paul's words: "He that is joined or
united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him," and "for me
to live is Christ."66 The ultimate goal, then, of Teresa's
278
St. Teresa of Avila
journey, the spiritual marriage, is a union with Christ, now no
longer living as the divine Logos but as the Word incarnate,
risen and connotated by the attributes of His earthly adven-
ture, especially those of His resurrection. With the passing of
time, the soul understands more clearly that its life is Christ.
Having examined the effects of this union, Teresa in the
final chapter explains that the purpose of all these splendid
favors is that one might live like Christ and that the fruit of the
spiritual marriage must be good works. The interior calm for-
tifies these persons so that they may endure much less calm in
the exterior events of their lives, that they might have the
strength to serve.67 The works of service may be outstanding
ones, as in Teresa's case, but they need not be. One must con-
centrate on serving those who are in one's company. "The Lord
doesn't look so much at the greatness of our works as at the love
with which they are done." His Majesty will join our sacrifice
with that which He offered for us. "Thus even though our
works are small they will have the value our love for Him would
have merited had they been great."68
In the prologue Teresa states her intention to write about
prayer, and anyone reading the Interior Castle would probably
agree that it is indeed a book about prayer and its stages. But
in a letter dated December 7, 1577, a week after completion of
her manuscript, Teresa refers to her book and speaks of its
theme differently. She says the book is about God ("it treats on-
ly of what He is"). This remark illustrates well how for Teresa
the journey in prayer through the interior castle to the center
room is nothing else than the magnificent work of God's love.69
The Autograph
The Interior Castle was not revised, although the
manuscript does contain the marks of censors. Between June
13 and July 6, 1580 at the monastery of Carmelite nuns in
Segovia, Fr. Gratian and the Dominican Fr. Diego de Yanguas
went over the work with Teresa pointing out their difficulties,
cancelling passages, and making corrections. Many of
The Interior Castle-Introduction
279
Gratian's corrections annoyed Teresa's Jesuit biographer
Ribera, leading him to write on the opening page of the
autograph a strong rebuke against censors of the work.70 Jose
Vicente Rodriguez surmises that Gratian was just killing time
since he was in that part of Spain waiting for a Brief to come
from Rome.71
Teresa gave the new book to Gratian to guard, for her Life
was still at the Inquisition. Gratian brought the work to Seville
in 1580 and entrusted it for safekeeping to Maria de San Jose.
Sometime between 1582 and 1585, while he was still provin-
cial, Gratian gave the work as a gift to Don Pedro Cerezo Pardo
who was a generous benefactor of the Discalced Carmelites.
Between 1586 and 1588 the autograph was in the hands of Fray
Luis de Leon who was at the time preparing the first edition of
Teresa's works; and it was then returned to Don Pedro Cerezo.
In 1618 Don Pedro's daughter, Dona Constancia de Ayala
made her profession of vows in the monastery of the Discalced
Carmelite nuns in Seville. She had brought with her to the
Carmel the autograph of the Interior Castle, and it has re-
mained with the nuns in Seville ever since, with one exception.
In 1961 it was brought to Rome for repair, and in the following
year, beautifully restored, the spiritual masterpiece was re-
turned to the Carmelites in Seville. The red-bound book, re-
ferred to by its author as a jewel, is now set like a ruby in a reli-
quary that has walls like those of Avila and in the shape of a
castle surrounding and protecting it.
K. K.
THE INTERIOR CASTLE
Teresa of Jesus, a nun of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, wrote
this treatise for her Sisters and daughters, the Discalced
Carmelite nuns.
NOT MANY THINGS that I have been ordered to do under
obedience have been as difficult for me as is this present
task of writing about prayer. First, it doesn't seem the Lord is
giving me either the spirit or the desire to undertake the work.
Second, I have been experiencing now for three months such
great noise and weakness in my head that I've found it a hard-
ship even to write concerning necessary business matters. But
knowing that the strength given by obedience usually lessens
the difficulty of things that seem impossible, I resolved to carry
out the task very willingly, even though my human nature
seems greatly distressed. For the Lord hasn't given me so much
virtue that my nature in the midst of its struggle with continual
sickness and duties of so many kinds doesn't feel strong aversion
toward such a task. May He, in whose mercy I trust and who
has helped me in other more difficult things so as to favor me,
do this work for me.
2. Indeed, I don't think I have much more to say than what
I've said in other things they have ordered me to write;1 rather,
I fear that the things I write about will be nearly all alike. I'm,
literally, just like the parrots that are taught to speak; they
know no more than what they hear or are shown, and they
often repeat it. If the Lord wants me to say something new, His
Majesty will provide. Or, He will be pleased to make me
remember what I have said at other times, for I would be happy
even with this. My memory is so poor that I would be glad if
JHS
[Prologue]
281
282
St. Teresa of Avila
I could repeat, in case they've been lost, some of the things
which I was told were well said.2 If the Lord doesn't make me
remember, I will gain just by tiring myself and getting a worse
headache for the sake of obedience — even if no one draws any
benefit from what I say.
3. And so I'm beginning to comply today, the feast of the
most Blessed Trinity, in the year 1577, in this Carmelite
monastery of St. Joseph in Toledo where I am at present.3 In
all that I say I submit to the opinion of the ones who ordered
me to write, for they are persons of great learning.4 If I should
say something that isn't in conformity with what the holy
Roman Catholic Church holds, it will be through ignorance
and not through malice. This can be held as certain, and also
that through the goodness of God I always am, and will be, and
have been subject to her. May He be always blessed and
glorified, amen.
4. The one who ordered me to write told me that the nuns
in these monasteries of our Lady of Mt. Carmel need someone
to answer their questions about prayer and that he thought
they would better understand the language used between
women, and that because of the love they bore me they would
pay more attention to what I would tell them. I thus
understood that it was important for me to manage to say
something. So, I shall be speaking to them while I write; it's
nonsense to think that what I say could matter to other per-
sons. Our Lord will be granting me favor enough if some of
these nuns benefit by praising Him a little more. His Majesty
well knows that I don't aim after anything else. And it should
be very clear that if I manage to say something well the Sisters
will understand that this does not come from me since there
would be no foundation for it, unless the Lord gave it to me;
otherwise they would have as little intelligence as I little ability
for such things.
THE FIRST DWELLING PLACES
Contains Two Chapters
Chapter 1
Discusses the beauty and dignity of our souls. Draws a com-
parison in order to explain, and speaks of the benefit that
comes from understanding this truth and knowing about the
favors we receive from God and how the door to this castle is
prayer.
ODAY WHILE BESEECHING our Lord to speak for me
JL because I wasn't able to think of anything to say nor did I
know how to begin to carry out this obedience, there came to
my mind what I shall now speak about, that which will provide
us with a basis to begin with. It is that we consider our soul to
be like a castle made entirely out of a diamond or of very clear
crystal, in which there are many rooms, just as in heaven there
are many dwelling places.1 For in reflecting upon it carefully,
Sisters, we realize that the soul of the just person is nothing else
but a paradise where the Lord says He finds His delight.2 So
then, what do you think that abode will be like where a King so
powerful, so wise, so pure, so full of all good things takes His
delight? I don't find anything comparable to the magnificent
beauty of a soul and its marvelous capacity. Indeed, our in-
tellects, however keen, can hardly comprehend it, just as they
cannot comprehend God; but He Himself says that He created
us in His own image and likeness.3
Well if this is true, as it is, there is no reason to tire ourselves
in trying to comprehend the beauty of this castle. Since this
283
284
St. Teresa of Avila
castle is a creature and the difference, therefore, between it
and God is the same as that between the Creator and His
creature, His Majesty in saying that the soul is made in His own
image makes it almost impossible for us to understand the
sublime dignity and beauty of the soul.
2. It is a shame and unfortunate that through our own fault
we don't understand ourselves or know who we are. Wouldn't it
show great ignorance, my daughters, if someone when asked
who he was didn't know, and didn't know his father or mother
or from what country he came? Well now, if this would be so
extremely stupid, we are incomparably more so when we do
not strive to know who we are, but limit ourselves to consider-
ing only roughly these bodies. Because we have heard and
because faith tells us so, we know we have souls. But we seldom
consider the precious things that can be found in this soul, or
who dwells within it, or its high value. Consequently, little ef-
fort is made to preserve its beauty. All our attention is taken up
with the plainness of the diamond's setting or the outer wall of
the castle; that is, with these bodies of ours.
3. Well, let us consider that this castle has, as I said,4 many
dwelling places: some up above, others down below, others to
the sides; and in the center and middle is the main dwelling
place where the very secret exchanges between God and the
soul take place.
It's necessary that you keep this comparison in mind.
Perhaps God will be pleased to let me use it to explain
something to you about the favors He is happy to grant souls
and the differences between these favors. I shall explain them
according to what I have understood as possible. For it is im-
possible that anyone understand them all since there are many;
how much more so for someone as wretched as I. It will be a
great consolation when the Lord grants them to you if you
know that they are possible; and for anyone to whom He
doesn't, it will be a great consolation to praise His wonderful
goodness. Just as it doesn't do us any harm to reflect upon the
things there are in heaven and what the blessed enjoy — but
rather we rejoice and strive to attain what they enjoy — it
doesn't do us any harm to see that it is possible in this exile for
The Interior Castle - 1:1
285
so great a God to commune with such foul-smelling worms;
and, upon seeing this, come to love a goodness so perfect and a
mercy so immeasurable. I hold as certain that anyone who
might be harmed by knowing that God can grant this favor in
this exile would be very much lacking in humility and love of
neighbor. Otherwise, how could we fail to be happy that God
grants these favors to our brother? His doing so is no impedi-
ment toward His granting them to us, and His Majesty can
reveal His grandeurs to whomever He wants. Sometimes He
does so merely to show forth His glory, as He said of the blind
man whose sight He restored when His apostles asked Him if
the blindness resulted from the man's sins or those of his
parents.5 Hence, He doesn't grant them because the sanctity of
the recipients is greater than that of those who don't receive
them but so that His glory may be known, as we see in St. Paul
and the Magdalene, and that we might praise Him for His
work in creatures.
4. One could say that these favors seem to be impossible and
that it is good not to scandalize the weak. Less is lost when the
weak do not believe in them than when the favors fail to
benefit those to whom God grants them; and these latter will
be delighted and awakened through these favors to a greater
love of Him who grants so many gifts and whose power and
majesty is so great. Moreover, I know I am speaking to those
for whom this danger does not exist, for they know and believe
that God grants even greater signs of His love. I know that
whoever does not believe in these favors will have no experience
of them, for God doesn't like us to put a limit on His works.
And so, Sisters, those of you whom the Lord doesn't lead by
this path should never doubt His generosity.
5. Well, getting back to our beautiful and delightful castle
we must see how we can enter it. It seems I'm saying something
foolish. For if this castle is the soul, clearly one doesn't have to
enter it since it is within oneself. How foolish it would seem
were we to tell someone to enter a room he is already in. But
you must understand that there is a great difference in the
ways one may be inside the castle. For there are many souls
who are in the outer courtyard — which is where the guards
St. Teresa of A vila
stay — and don't care at all about entering the castle, nor do
they know what lies within that most precious place, nor who is
within, nor even how many rooms it has. You have already
heard in some books on prayer that the soul is advised to enter
within itself;6 well that's the very thing I'm advising.
6. Not long ago a very learned man told me that souls who
do not practice prayer are like people with paralysed or crip-
pled bodies; even though they have hands and feet they cannot
give orders to these hands and feet.7 Thus there are souls so ill
and so accustomed to being involved in external matters that
there is no remedy, nor does it seem they can enter within
themselves. They are now so used to dealing always with the in-
sects and vermin that are in the wall surrounding the castle
that they have become almost like them. And though they have
so rich a nature and the power to converse with none other
than God, there is no remedy. If these souls do not strive to
understand and cure their great misery, they will be changed
into statues of salt, unable to turn their heads to look at
themselves, just as Lot's wife was changed for having turned
her head.8
7. Insofar as I can understand the door of entry to this castle
is prayer and reflection. I don't mean to refer to mental more
than vocal prayer, for since vocal prayer is prayer it must be ac-
companied by reflection. A prayer in which a person is not
aware of whom he is speaking to, what he is asking, who it is
who is asking and of whom, I do not call prayer however much
the lips move. Sometimes it will be so without this reflection,
provided that the soul has these reflections at other times.
Nonetheless, anyone who has the habit of speaking before
God's majesty as though he were speaking to a slave, without
being careful to see how he is speaking, but saying whatever
comes to his head and whatever he has learned from saying at
other times, in my opinion is not praying. Please God, may no
Christian pray in this way. Among yourselves, Sisters, I hope in
His Majesty that you will not do so, for the custom you have of
being occupied with interior things is quite a good safeguard
against falling and carrying on in this way like brute beasts.
8. Well now, we are not speaking to these crippled souls, for
The Interior Castle - 1:1
287
if the Lord Himself doesn't come to order them to get up — as
He did the man who waited at the side of the pool for thirty
years9 — they are quite unfortunate and in serious danger. But
we are speaking to other souls that, in the end, enter the castle.
For even though they are very involved in the world, they have
good desires and sometimes, though only once in a while, they
entrust themselves to our Lord and reflect on who they are,
although in a rather hurried fashion. During the period of a
month they will sometimes pray, but their minds are then filled
with business matters which ordinarily occupy them. They are
so attached to these things that where their treasure lies their
heart goes also.10 Sometimes they do put all these things aside,
and the self-knowledge and awareness that they are not pro-
ceeding correctly in order to get to the door is important.
Finally, they enter the first, lower rooms. But so many reptiles
get in with them that they are prevented from seeing the beau-
ty of the castle and from calming down; they have done quite a
bit just by having entered.
9. You may have been thinking, daughters, that this is ir-
relevant to you since by the Lord's goodness you are not among
these people. You'll have to have patience, for I wouldn't know
how to explain my understanding of some interior things about
prayer if not in this way. And may it even please the Lord that
I succeed in saying something, for what I want to explain to
you is very difficult to understand without experience. If you
have experience you will see that one cannot avoid touching
upon things that — please God, through His mercy — do not
pertain to us.
288
St. Teresa of A vila
Chapter 2
Treats of how ugly a soul is when in mortal sin and how God
wanted to let a certain person know something about this.
Discusses, also, some matters on the theme of self-knowledge.
This chapter is beneficial, for there are noteworthy points. Ex-
plains what is meant by these dwelling places.
BEFORE GOING ON I want to say that you should consider
what it would mean to this so brilliantly shining and
beautiful castle, this pearl from the Orient, this tree of life
planted in the very living waters of life1 — that is, in God — to
fall into mortal sin; there's no darker darkness nor anything
more obscure and black. You shouldn't want to know anything
else than the fact that, although the very sun that gave the soul
so much brilliance and beauty is still in the center, the soul is as
though it were not there to share in these things. Yet, it is as
capable of enjoying His Majesty as is crystal capable of reflect-
ing the sun's brilliance. Nothing helps such a soul; and as a
result all the good works it might do while in mortal sin are
fruitless for the attainment of glory. Since these works do not
proceed from that principle, which is God, who is the cause of
our virtue being really virtue, and are separated from Him,
they cannot be pleasing in His sight. Since, after all, the inten-
tion of anyone who commits a mortal sin is to please the devil,
who is darkness itself, not God, the poor soul becomes darkness
itself.
2. I know a person to whom our Lord wanted to show what
a soul in mortal sin was like.2 That person says that in her opin-
ion if this were understood it would be impossible to sin, even
though a soul would have to undergo the greatest trials im-
aginable in order to flee the occasions. So the Lord gave her a
strong desire that all might understand this. May He give you,
daughters, the desire to beseech Him earnestly for those who
are in this state, who have become total darkness, and whose
works have become darkness also. For just as all the streams
that flow from a crystal-clear fount are also clear, the works of
The Interior Castle - 1:2
289
a soul in grace, because they proceed from this fount of life, in
which the soul is planted like a tree, are most pleasing in the
eyes of both God and man. There would be no freshness, no
fruit, if it were not for this fount sustaining the tree, preventing
it from drying up, and causing it to produce good fruit. Thus
in the case of a soul that through its own fault withdraws from
this fount and plants itself in a place where the water is black
and foul-smelling, everything that flows from it is equally
wretched and filthy.
3. It should be kept in mind here that the fount, the shining
sun that is in the center of the soul, does not lose its beauty and
splendor; it is always present in the soul, and nothing can take
away its loveliness. But if a black cloth is placed over a crystal
that is in the sun, obviously the sun's brilliance will have no ef-
fect on the crystal even though the sun is shining on it.3
4. O souls redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ! Under-
stand and take pity on yourselves. How is it possible that in
realizing these things you don't strive to remove the pitch from
this crystal? See that if your life comes to an end you will never
again enjoy this light. O Jesus, how sad a thing it is to see a soul
separated from this light! How miserable is the state of those
poor rooms within the castle! How disturbed the senses are,
that is, the people who live in these rooms! And in the faculties,
that is, among the custodians, the stewards, and the chief
waiters, what blindness, what bad management! In sum, since
the tree is planted where the devil is, what fruit can it bear?
5. I once heard of a spiritual man who was not surprised at
things done by a person in mortal sin, but at what was not
done. May God in His mercy deliver us from so great an evil.
There is nothing, while we are living, that deserves this name
"evil," except mortal sin, for such sin carries in its wake
everlasting evils. This, daughters, is what we must go about in
fear of and what we must ask God in our prayers to protect us
against. For if He doesn't guard the city, our labor will be in
vain4 since we are vanity itself.
That person I mentioned5 said she received two blessings
from the favor God granted her: the first, an intense fear of
offending Him, and so in seeing such terrible dangers she
290
St. Teresa of Avila
always went about begging Him not to let her fall; the second,
a mirror for humility, in which she saw how none of our good
deeds has its principle from ourselves but from this fount in
which the tree, symbolizing our souls, is planted and from this
sun that gives warmth to our works. She says that this truth was
represented to her so clearly that in doing something good, or
seeing it done, she gave heed to the source and understood how
without this help we could do nothing. As a result she would
begin immediately to praise God and usually not think of
herself in any good thing that she did.
6. The time you spend in reading this, or I in writing it,
Sisters, would not be lost if we were left with these two bless-
ings. Learned and wise men know about these things very well,
but everything is necessary for our womanly dullness of mind;
and so perhaps the Lord wills that we get to know comparisons
like these. May it please His goodness to give us grace to profit
by them.
7. These interior matters are so obscure for our minds that
anyone who knows as little as I will be forced to say many
superfluous and even foolish things in order to say something
that's right. Whoever reads this must have patience, for I have
to have it in order to write about what I don't know. Indeed,
sometimes I take up the paper like a simpleton, for I don't
know what to say or how to begin. I understand well that it's
important for you that I explain some things about the interior
life as best I can. We always hear about what a good thing
prayer is, and our constitutions oblige us to spend so many
hours in prayer.6 Yet only what we ourselves can do in prayer is
explained to us; little is explained about what the Lord does in
a soul, I mean about the supernatural.7 By speaking about this
heavenly interior building and explaining and considering it in
many ways we shall find great comfort. It is so little understood
by mortals, even though many walk through it. And although
in other things I've written the Lord has given me some
understanding,8 I know there were certain things I had not
understood as I have come to understand them now, especially
certain more difficult things. The trouble is that before
discussing them, as I have said,9 I will have to repeat matters
The Interior Castle - 1:2
291
that are well known; on account of my stupidity things can't be
otherwise.
8. Well now let's get back to our castle with its many dwell-
ing places. You mustn't think of these dwelling places in such a
way that each one would follow in file after the other; but turn
your eyes toward the center, which is the room or royal
chamber where the King stays, and think of how a palmetto10
has many leaves surrounding and covering the tasty part that
can be eaten. So here, surrounding this center room are many
other rooms; and the same holds true for those above. The
things of the soul must always be considered as plentiful,
spacious, and large; to do so is not an exaggeration. The soul is
capable of much more than we can imagine, and the sun that
is in this royal chamber shines in all parts. It is very important
for any soul that practices prayer, whether little or much, not
to hold itself back and stay in one corner. Let it walk through
these dwelling places which are up above, down below, and to
the sides, since God has given it such great dignity. Don't force
it to stay a long time in one room alone. Oh, but if it is in the
room of self-knowledge! How necessary this room is — see that
you understand me — even for those whom the Lord has
brought into the very dwelling place where He abides. For
never, however exalted the soul may be, is anything else fitting
for it; nor could it be even were the soul to so desire. For
humility, like the bee making honey in the beehive, is always at
work. Without it, everything goes wrong. But let's remember
that the bee doesn't fail to leave the beehive and fly about
gathering nectar from the flowers. So it is with the soul in the
room of self-knowledge; let it believe me and fly sometimes to
ponder the grandeur and majesty of its God. Here it will
discover its lowliness better than by thinking of itself, and be
freer from the vermin that enter the first rooms, those of self-
knowledge. For even though, as I say, it is by the mercy of God
that a person practices self-knowledge, that which applies in
lesser matters applies so much more in greater ones, as they
say. And believe me, we shall practice much better virtue
through God's help than by being tied down to our own misery.
9. I don't know if this has been explained well. Knowing
292
St. Teresa of Avila
ourselves is something so important that I wouldn't want any
relaxation ever in this regard, however high you may have
climbed into the heavens. While we are on this earth nothing is
more important to us than humility. So I repeat that it is good,
indeed very good, to try to enter first into the room where self-
knowledge is dealt with rather than fly off to other rooms. This
is the right road, and if we can journey along a safe and level
path, why should we want wings to fly? Rather, let's strive to
make more progress in self-knowledge. In my opinion we shall
never completely know ourselves if we don't strive to know God.
By gazing at His grandeur, we get in touch with our own
lowliness; by looking at His purity, we shall see our own filth;
by pondering His humility, we shall see how far we are from
being humble.
10. Two advantages come from such activity. First, it's clear
that something white seems much whiter when next to
something black, and vice versa with the black next to the
white. The second is that our intellects and wills, dealing in
turn now with self now with God, become nobler and better
prepared for every good. And it would be disadvantageous for
us never to get out of the mire of our miseries. As we said of
those who are in mortal sin, that their streams are black and
foul-smelling, so it is here; although not entirely— God deliver
us— for we are just making a comparison. If we are always
fixed on our earthly misery, the stream will never flow free
from the mud of fears, faintheartedness, and cowardice. I
would be looking to see if I'm being watched or not; if by tak-
ing this path things will turn out badly for me; whether it
might be pride to dare begin a certain work; whether it would
be good for a person so miserable to engage in something as
lofty as prayer; whether I might be judged better than others if
I don't follow the path they all do. I'd be thinking that ex-
tremes are not good, even in the practice of virtue; that, since I
am such a sinner, I might have a greater fall; that perhaps I
would not advance and would do harm to good people; that
someone like myself has no need of anything special.
11. Oh, God help me, daughters, how many souls must
have been made to suffer great loss in this way by the devil!
The Interior Castle - 1:2
293
These souls think that all such fears stem from humility. And
there are many others I could mention. The fears come from
our not understanding ourselves completely. They distort self-
knowledge; and I'm not surprised if we never get free from
ourselves, for this lack of freedom from ourselves, and even
more, is what can be feared. So I say, daughters, that we
should set our eyes on Christ, our Good, and on His saints.
There we shall learn true humility, the intellect will be en-
hanced, as I have said,11 and self-knowledge will not make one
base and cowardly. Even though this is the first dwelling place,
it is very rich and so precious that if the soul slips away from the
vermin within it, nothing will be left to do but advance. Terri-
ble are the wiles and deceits used by the devil so that souls may
not know themselves or understand their own paths.
12. I could give some very good proofs from experience of
the wiles the devil uses in these first dwelling places. Thus I say
that you should think not in terms of just a few rooms but in
terms of a million;12 for souls, all with good intentions, enter
here in many ways. But since the devil always has such a bad
intention, he must have in each room many legions of devils to
fight off souls when they try to go from one room to the oter.
Since the poor soul doesn't know this, the devil plays tricks on it
in a thousand ways. He's not so successful with those who have
advanced closer to where the King dwells. But since in the first
rooms souls are still absorbed in the world and engulfed in
their pleasures and vanities, with their honors and pretenses,
their vassals (which are these senses and faculties) don't have
the strength God gave human nature in the beginning. And
these souls are easily conquered, even though they may go
about with desires not to offend God and though they do per-
form good works. Those who see themselves in this state must
approach His Majesty as often as possible. They must take His
Blessed Mother and His saints as intercessors so that these in-
tercessors may fight for them, for the soul's vassals have little
strength to defend themselves. Truly, in all states it's necessary
that strength come to us from God. May His Majesty through
His mercy give it to us, amen.
13. How miserable the life in which we live! Because
294
5/. Teresa of A vila
elsewhere I have said a great deal about the harm done to us by
our failure to understand well this humility and self-
knowledge,13 I'll tell you no more about it here, even though
this self-knowledge is the most important thing for us. Please
God, I may have now said something beneficial for you.
14. You must note that hardly any of the light coming from
the King's royal chamber reaches these first dwelling places.
Even though they are not dark and black, as when the soul is in
sin, they nevertheless are in some way darkened so that the soul
cannot see the light. The darkness is not caused by a flaw in the
room — for I don't know how to explain myself— but by so
many bad things like snakes and vipers and poisonous creatures
that enter with the soul and don't allow it to be aware of the
light. It's as if a person were to enter a place where the sun is
shining but be hardly able to open his eyes because of the mud
in them. The room is bright but he doesn't enjoy it because of
the impediment of things like these wild animals or beasts that
make him close his eyes to everything but them. So, I think,
must be the condition of the soul. Even though it may not be in
a bad state, it is so involved in worldly things and so absorbed
with its possessions, honor, or business affairs, as I have said,14
that even though as a matter of fact it would want to see and
enjoy its beauty these things do not allow it to; nor does it seem
that it can slip free from so many impediments. If a person is to
enter the second dwelling places, it is important that he strive
to give up unnecessary things and business affairs. Each one
should do this in conformity with his state in life. It is
something so important in order for him to reach the main
dwelling place that if he doesn't begin doing this I hold that it
will be impossible for him to get there. And it will be even im-
possible for him to stay where he is without danger even though
he has entered the castle, for in the midst of such poisonous
creatures one cannot help but be bitten at one time or another.
15. Now then, what would happen, daughters, if we who
are already free from these snares, as we are, and have entered
much further into the castle to other secret dwelling places
should turn back through our own fault and go out to this
tumult? There are, because of our sins, many persons to whom
The Interior Castle - 1:2
295
God has granted favors who through their own fault have
fallen back into this misery. In the monastery we are free with
respect to exterior matters; in interior matters may it please the
Lord that we also be free, and may He free us. Guard
yourselves, my daughters, from extraneous cares. Remember
that there are few dwelling places in this castle in which the
devils do not wage battle. True, in some rooms the guards
(which I believe I have said are the faculties)15 have the
strength to fight; but it is very necessary that we don't grow
careless in recognizing the wiles of the devil, and that he not
deceive us by changing himself into an angel of light.16 There's
a host of things he can do to cause us harm; he enters little by
little, and until he's done the harm we don't recognize him.
16. I've already told you elsewhere1 7 that he's like a noiseless
file, that we need to recognize him at the outset. Let me say
something that will explain this better for you.
He gives a Sister various impulses toward penance, for it
seems to her she has no rest except when she is tormenting
herself. This may be a good beginning; but if the prioress has
ordered that no penance be done without permission, and the
devil makes the Sister think that in a practice that's so good one
can be rightly daring, and she secretly gives herself up to such a
penitential life that she loses her health and doesn't even
observe what the rule commands, you can see clearly where all
this good will end up.
He imbues another with a very great zeal for perfection.
Such zeal is in itself good. But it could follow that every little
fault the Sisters commit will seem to her a serious breach; and
she is careful to observe whether they commit them, and then
informs the prioress. It could even happen at times that she
doesn't see her own faults because of her intense zeal for the
religious observance. Since the other Sisters don't understand
what's going on within her and see all this concern, they might
not accept her zeal so well.
17. What the devil is hereby aiming after is no small thing:
the cooling of the charity and love the Sisters have for one
another. This would cause serious harm. Let us understand,
my daughters, that true perfection consists in love of God and
296
St. Teresa of A vila
neighbor; the more perfectly we keep these two command-
ments the more perfect we will be. All that is in our rule and
constitutions serves for nothing else than to be a means toward
keeping these commandments with greater perfection. Let's
forget about indiscreet zeal; it can do us a lot of harm. Let
each one look to herself. Because I have said enough about this
elsewhere,18 I'll not enlarge on the matter.
18. This mutual love is so important that I would never
want it to be forgotten. The soul could lose its peace and even
disturb the peace of others by going about looking at trifling
things in people that at times are not even imperfections, but
since we know little we see these things in the worst light; look
how costly this kind of perfection would be. Likewise, the devil
could tempt the prioress in this way; and such a thing would be
more dangerous. As a result much discretion is necessary. If
things are done against the rule and constitutions, the matter
need not always be seen in a good light. The prioress should be
cautioned, and if she doesn't amend, the superior informed.
This is charity. And the same with the Sisters if there is
something serious. And to fail to do these things for fear of a
temptation would itself be a temptation. But it should be
carefully noted — so that the devil doesn't deceive us — that we
must not talk about these things to one another. The devil
could thereby gain greatly and manage to get the custom of
gossiping started. The matter should be discussed with the one
who will benefit, as I have said. In this house, glory to God,
there's not much occasion for gossip since such continual
silence is kept; but it is good that we be on guard.
THE SECOND DWELLING PLACES
This Section Has Only One Chapter
Chapter 1
Discusses the importance of perseverance if one is to reach the
final dwelling places; the great war the devil wages; and the
importance of taking the right road from the beginning. Offers
a remedy that has proved very efficacious.
NOW LET US SPEAK about the type of soul that enters the
second dwelling places and what such a soul does in
them. I'd like to say only a little, for I have spoken at length on
this subject elsewhere.1 And it would be impossible to avoid
repeating much of it, for I don't remember a thing of what I
said. If I could present the matter for you in a variety of ways I
know well that you wouldn't be annoyed since we never tire of
books — as many as there are — that deal with it.
2. This stage pertains to those who have already begun to
practice prayer and have understood how important it is not to
stay in the first dwelling places. But they still don't have the
determination to remain in this second stage without turning
back, for they don't avoid the occasions of sin. This failure to
avoid these occasions is quite dangerous. But these persons
have received a good deal of mercy in that they sometimes do
strive to escape from snakes and poisonous creatures, and they
understand that it is good to avoid them.
These rooms, in part, involve much more effort than do the
first, even though there is not as much danger, for it now seems
297
298
St. Teresa of A vtla
that souls in them recognize the dangers, and there is great
hope they will enter further into the castle. I say that these
rooms involve more effort because those who are in the first
dwelling places are like deaf-mutes and thus the difficulty of
not speaking is more easily endured by them than it is by those
who hear but cannot speak. Yet, not for this reason does one
have greater desire to be deaf, for after all it is a wonderful
thing to hear what is being said to us. So these persons are able
to hear the Lord when He calls. Since they are getting closer to
where His Majesty dwells, He is a very good neighbor. His mer-
cy and goodness are so bountiful; whereas we are occupied in
our pastimes, business affairs, pleasures, and worldly buying
and selling, and still falling into sin and rising again. These
beasts are so poisonous and their presence so dangerous and
noisy that it would be a wonder if we kept from stumbling and
falling over them. Yet this Lord desires intensely that we love
Him and seek His company, so much so that from time to time
He calls us to draw near Him. And His voice is so sweet the
poor soul dissolves at not doing immediately what He com-
mands. Thus, as I say, hearing His voice is a greater trial than
not hearing it.
3. I don't mean that these appeals and calls are like the ones
I shall speak of later on.2 But they come through words spoken
by other good people, or through sermons, or through what is
read in good books, or through the many things that are heard
and by which God calls, or through illnesses and trials, or also
through a truth that He teaches during the brief moments we
spend in prayer; however lukewarm these moments may be,
God esteems them highly. And you, Sisters, don't under-
estimate this first favor, nor should you become disconsolate if
you don't respond at once to the Lord. His Majesty knows well
how to wait many days and years, especially when He sees
perseverance and good desires. This perseverance is most
necessary here. One always gains much through perseverance.
But the attacks made by devils in a thousand ways afflict the
soul more in these rooms than in the previous ones. In the
previous ones the soul was deaf and dumb — at least it heard
very little and resisted less, as one who has partly lost hope of
The Interior Castle - 11:1
299
conquering. Here the intellect is more alive and the faculties
more skilled. The blows from the artillery strike in such a way
that the soul cannot fail to hear. It is in this stage that the
devils represent these snakes (worldly things) and the temporal
pleasures of the present as though almost eternal. They bring
to mind the esteem one has in the world, one's friends and
relatives, one's health (when there's thought of penitential
practices, for the soul that enters this dwelling place always
begins wanting to practice some penance) and a thousand
other obstacles.
4. O Jesus, what an uproar the devils instigate here! And the
afflictions of the poor soul: it doesn't know whether to continue
or to return to the first room. Reason, for its part, shows the
soul that it is mistaken in thinking that these things of the
world are not worth anything when compared to what it is aim-
ing after. Faith, however, teaches it about where it will find
fulfillment. The memory shows it where all these things end,
holding before it the death of those who found great joy in
them. Through the memory it sees how some have suffered
sudden death, how quickly they are forgotten by all. Some
whom it had known in great prosperity are under the ground,
and their graves are walked upon. This soul itself has often
passed by these graves. It reflects that many worms are swarm-
ing over the corpses, and thinks about numerous other things.
The will is inclined to love after seeing such countless signs of
love; it would want to repay something; it especially keeps in
mind how this true Lover never leaves it, accompanying it and
giving it life and being. Then the intellect helps it realize that it
couldn't find a better friend, even were it to live for many
years, that the whole world is filled with falsehood, and that so
too these joys the devil gives it are filled with trials, cares, and
contradictions. The intellect tells the soul of its certainty that
outside this castle neither security nor peace will be found, that
it should avoid going about to strange houses since its own is so
filled with blessings to be enjoyed if it wants. The intellect will
ask who it is that finds everything he needs in his own house
and, especially, has a guest who will make him lord over
all goods provided that he wills to avoid going astray like
300
St. Teresa of A vila
the prodigal son and eating the husks of swine.3
5. These are reasons for conquering the devils. But, oh, my
Lord and my God, how the whole world's habit of getting in-
volved in vanities vitiates everything! Our faith is so dead that
we desire what we see more than what faith tells us. And, in-
deed, we see only a lot of misfortune in those who go after these
visible vanities. But these poisonous things we are dealing with
are the cause of this misfortune, for just as all is poisoned if a
viper bites someone and the wound swells, so we will be poi-
soned if we do not watch ourselves. Clearly many remedies are
necessary to cure us, and God is favoring us a good deal if we
do not die from the wound. Certainly the soul undergoes great
trials here. If the devil, especially, realizes that it has all it
needs in its temperament and habits to advance far, he will
gather all hell together to make the soul go back outside.
6. Ah, my Lord! Your help is necessary here; without it one
can do nothing.4 In Your mercy do not consent to allow this
soul to suffer deception and give up what was begun. Enlighten
it that it may see how all its good is within this castle and that it
may turn away from bad companions. It's a wonderful thing
for a person to talk to those who speak about this interior cas-
tle, to draw near not only to those seen to be in these rooms
where he is but to those known to have entered the ones closer
to the center. Conversation with these latter will be a great help
to him, and he can converse so much with them that they will
bring him to where they are. Let the soul always heed the
warning not to be conquered. If the devil sees that it has the
strong determination to lose its life and repose and all that he
offers it rather than return to the first room, he will abandon it
much more quickly. Let the soul be manly and not like those
soldiers who knelt down to drink before going into battle (I
don't remember with whom),5 but be determined to fight with
all the devils and realize that there are no better weapons than
those of the cross.
7. Even though I've said this at other times,6 it's so impor-
tant that I repeat it here: it is that souls shouldn't be thinking
about consolations at this beginning stage. It would be a very
poor way to start building so precious and great an edifice. If
The Interior Castle - 11:1
301
the foundation is on sand, the whole building will fall to the
ground. They'll never finish being dissatisfied and tempted.
These are not the dwelling places where it rains manna; those
lie further ahead, where a soul finds in the manna every taste it
desires;7 for it wants only what God wants. It's an amusing
thing that even though we still have a thousand impediments
and imperfections and our virtues have hardly begun to
grow — and please God they may have begun — we are yet not
ashamed to seek spiritual delights in prayer or to complain
about dryness. May this never happen to you, Sisters. Embrace
the cross your Spouse has carried and understand that this
must be your task. Let the one who can do so, suffer more for
Him; and she will be rewarded that much more. As for other
favors, if the Lord should grant you one, thank Him for it as
you would for something freely added on.
8. It will seem to you that you are truly determined to
undergo exterior trials, provided that God favors you interior-
ly. His Majesty knows best what is suitable for us. There's no
need for us to be advising Him about what He should give us,
for He can rightly tell us that we don't know what we're asking
for.8 The whole aim of any person who is beginning
prayer — and don't forget this, because it's very impor-
tant—should be that he work and prepare himself with deter-
mination and every possible effort to bring his will into
conformity with God's will. Be certain that, as I shall say later,9
the greatest perfection attainable along the spiritual path lies
in this conformity. It is the person who lives in more perfect
conformity who will receive more from the Lord and be more
advanced on this road. Don't think that in what concerns
perfection there is some mystery or things unknown or still to
be understood, for in perfect conformity to God's will lies all
our good. Now then, if we err in the beginning, desiring that
the Lord do our will at once and lead us according to what we
imagine, what kind of stability will this edifice have? Let us
strive to do what lies in our power and guard ourselves against
these poisonous little reptiles, for the Lord often desires that
dryness and bad thoughts afflict and pursue us without our be-
ing able to get rid of them. Sometimes He even permits these
302
St. Teresa of A vzla
reptiles to bite us so that afterward we may know how to guard
ourselves better and that He may prove whether we are greatly
grieved by having offended Him.
9. Thus, if you should at times fall don't become discour-
aged and stop striving to advance. For even from this fall God
will draw out good, as does the seller of an antidote who drinks
some poison in order to test whether his antidote is effective.
Even if we didn't see our misery — or the great harm that a
dissipated life does to us — through any other means than
through this assault that we endure for the sake of being
brought back to recollection, that would be enough. Can there
be an evil greater than that of being ill at ease in our own
house? What hope can we have of finding rest outside of
ourselves if we cannot be at rest within. We have so many great
and true friends and relatives (which are our faculties) with
whom we must always live, even though we may not want to.
But from what we feel, these seem to be warring against us
because of what our vices have done to them. Peace, peace, the
Lord said, my Sisters; and He urged His apostle so many
times.10 Well, believe me, if we don't obtain and have peace in
our own house we'll not find it outside. Let this war be ended.
Through the blood He shed for us I ask those who have not
begun to enter within themselves to do so; and those who have
begun, not to let the war make them turn back. Let these latter
reflect that a relapse is worse than a fall; they already see their
loss. Let them trust in the mercy of God and not at all in
themselves, and they will see how His Majesty brings them
from the dwelling places of one stage to those of another and
settles them in a land where these wild animals cannot touch or
tire them, but where they themselves will bring all these
animals into subjection and scoff at them. And they shall enjoy
many more blessings than one can desire — blessings even in
this life, I mean.
10. Since, as I've said in the beginning,11 I've written to you
about how you should conduct yourselves in these disturbances
set up here by the devil and how you cannot begin to recollect
yourselves by force but only by gentleness, if your recollection is
going to be more continual, I will not say anything else herei
The Interior Castle - 11:1
303
than that in my opinion it is very important to consult persons
with experience; for you will be thinking that you are seriously
failing to do some necessary thing. Provided that we don't give
up, the Lord will guide everything for our benefit, even though
we may not find someone to teach us. There is no other remedy
for this evil of giving up prayer than to begin again; otherwise
the soul will gradually lose more each day— and please God
that it will understand this fact.
11. Someone could think that if turning back is so bad it
would be better never to begin but to remain outside the castle.
I have already told you at the beginning — and the Lord
Himself tells you — that anyone who walks in danger perishes in
it12 and that the door of entry to this castle is prayer. Well now,
it is foolish to think that we will enter heaven without entering
into ourselves, coming to know ourselves, reflecting on our
misery and what we owe God, and begging Him often for mer-
cy. The Lord Himself says: No one will ascend to My Father
but through Me13 (I don't know if He says it this way — I think
He does) and whoever sees Me sees My Father.™ Well, if we
never look at Him or reflect on what we owe Him and the death
He suffered for us, I don't know how we'll be able to know Him
or do works in His service. And what value can faith have
without works and without joining them to the merits of Jesus
Christ, our Good? Or who will awaken us to love this Lord?
May it please His Majesty to give us understanding of how
much we cost Him, of how the servant is no greater than his
master,15 and that we must work in order to enjoy His glory.
And we need to pray for this understanding so that we aren't
always entering into temptation.16
THE THIRD DWELLING PLACES
Contains Two Chapters
Chapter 1
Treats of what little security we can have while living in this ex-
ile, even though we may have reached a high state, and of how
we should walk with fear. This chapter has some good points.
WHAT SHALL WE SAY to those who through persever-
ance and the mercy of God have won these battles and
have entered the rooms of the third stage, if not: Blessed is the
man who fears the LordV His Majesty has done no small thing
in giving me understanding right now of what this verse means
in the vernacular, for I am ignorant in matters like this. Cer-
tainly we are right in calling such a man blessed, since if he
doesn't turn back he is, from what we can understand, on the
secure path to his salvation.2 Here you will see, Sisters, how im-
portant it was to win the previous battles. I am certain the
Lord never fails to give a person like this security of conscience,
which is no small blessing. I said "security" and I was wrong,
for there is no security in this life; so always understand that I
mean "if he doesn't abandon the path he began on."
2. It is a great misery to have to live a life in which we must
always walk like those whose enemies are at their doorstep; they
can neither sleep nor eat without weapons and without being
always frightened lest somewhere these enemies might be able
to break through this fortress. O my Lord and my Good, how is
it that You want us to desire so miserable a life, for it isn't
304
The Interior Castle - 111:1
305
possible to stop wanting and asking You to take us out of it
unless there is hope of losing it for You or of spending it very
earnestly in Your service or, above all, of understanding what
Your will is? If it is Your will, my God, may we die with You, as
St. Thomas said;3 for living without You and with these fears
of the possibility of losing You forever is nothing else than dy-
ing often. That's why, daughters, I say that the blessedness we
must ask for is that of being already secure with the blessed.
For with these fears, what happiness can anyone have whose
whole happiness is to please God? Consider that this happiness
was had — and in much greater degree — by some saints who fell
into serious sins and that we are not sure that God will help us
to get free from these sins and to do penance for them.
3. Certainly, my daughters, I am so fearful as I write this
that I don't know how I'm writing it or how I live when I think
about it, which is very often. Pray, my daughters, that His
Majesty may live in me always. If He doesn't, what security can
a life as badly spent as mine have? And do not become sad in
knowing that this life has been badly spent, as I have
sometimes observed you become when I tell this to you; you
continue to desire that I might have lived a very holy life — and
you are right. I too would want to have so lived, but what can I
do if I have lost holiness through my own fault! I will not com-
plain about God who gave me enough help to carry out your
desires. I cannot say this without tears and being very ashamed
that I am writing something for those who can teach me. Doing
so has been a hard command to obey! May it please the Lord
that since it is being done for Him it may be of some benefit to
you so that You may ask Him to pardon this miserable and
bold creature. But His Majesty well knows that I can boast only
of His mercy, and since I cannot cease being what I have been,
I have no other remedy than to approach His mercy and to
trust in the merits of His Son and of the Virgin, His Mother,
whose habit I wear so unworthily, and you wear. Praise Him,
my daughters, for you truly belong to our Lady. Thus you have
no reason to be ashamed of my misery since you have such a
good Mother. Imitate her and reflect that the grandeur of our
Lady and the good of having her for your patroness must be in-
306
St. Teresa of Avila
deed great since my sins and being what I am have not been
enough to tarnish in any way this sacred order.
4. But one thing I advise you: not because you have such a
Mother or Patroness should you feel secure, for David was very
holy, and you already know who Solomon was. Don't pay any
attention to the enclosure and the penance in which you live or
feel safe in the fact that you are always conversing with God
and practicing such continual prayer and being so withdrawn
from the world of things and, in your opinion, holding them in
abhorrence. These practices are all good, but not a sufficient
reason, as I have said,4 for us to stop fearing. So, continue to
say this verse and often bear it in mind: Beatus vir qui timet
Dominum. 5
5. I don't remember what I was speaking about, for I have
digressed a great deal and in thinking of myself I feel helpless,
as a bird with broken wings, when it comes to saying anything
good. So I want to leave this matter aside for now. Let me get
back to what I began telling you6 concerning souls that have
entered the third dwelling places, for the Lord has done them
no small favor, but a very great one, in letting them get
through the first difficulties. I believe that through the
goodness of God there are many of these souls in the world.
They long not to offend His Majesty, even guarding themselves
against venial sins; they are fond of doing penance and setting
aside periods for recollection; they spend their time well, prac-
ticing works of charity toward their neighbors; and are very
balanced in their use of speech and dress and in the governing
of their households — those who have them. Certainly, this is a
state to be desired. And, in my opinion, there is no reason why
entrance even into the final dwelling place should be denied
these souls, nor will the Lord deny them this entrance if they
desire it; for such a desire is an excellent way to prepare oneself
so that every favor may be granted.
6. O Jesus, and who will say that he doesn't want a good so
wonderful, especially after having passed through the most dif-
ficult trial? No, nobody will. We all say that we want this good.
But since there is need of still more in order that the soul
possess the Lord completely, it is not enough to say we want it;
The Interior Castle - 111:1
307
just as this was not enough for the young man whom the Lord
told what one must do in order to be perfect.7 From the time I
began to speak of these dwelling places I have had this young
man in mind. For we are literally like him; and ordinarily the
great dryness in prayer comes from this, although it also has
other causes. And I'm leaving aside mention of some interior
trials that many good souls undergo (unbearable trials and not
at all due to their own fault), from which the Lord always frees
them to their own great benefit, and mention of those who suf-
fer from melancholy and other illnesses. Briefly, in all things
we have to let God be the judge. What I've said, I believe, is
what usually happens; for since these souls realize that they
wouldn't commit a sin for anything — many wouldn't even
advertently commit a venial sin — and that they conduct their
lives and households well, they cannot accept patiently that the
door of entry to the place where our King dwells be closed to
them who consider themselves His vassals. But even though a
king here on earth has many vassals, not all enter his chamber.
Enter, enter, my daughters, into the interior rooms; pass on
from your little works. By the mere fact that you are Christians
you must do all these things and much more. It is enough for
you to be God's vassals; don't let your desire be for so much
that as a result you will be left with nothing. Behold the saints
who entered this King's chamber, and you will see the dif-
ference between them and us. Don't ask for what you have not
deserved, nor should it enter our minds that we have merited
this favor however much we may have served — we who have of-
fended God.
7. Oh, humility, humility! I don't know what kind of temp-
tation I'm undergoing in this matter that I cannot help but
think that anyone who makes such an issue of this dryness is a
little lacking in humility. I said that I've omitted mention of
those great interior trials I've referred to,8 for those involve
much more than just a lack of devotion. Let us prove ourselves,
my Sisters, or let the Lord prove us, for He knows well how to
do this even though we often don't want to understand it. Let
us speak now of those souls whose lives are so well ordered; let
us recognize what they do for God, and we shall at once see
308
St. Teresa of Avila
how we have no reason for complaining of His Majesty. If, like
the young man in the Gospel, we turn our backs and go away
sad9 when the Lord tells us what we must do to be perfect,
what do you want His Majesty to do? For He must give the
reward in conformity with the love we have for Him. And this
love, daughters, must not be fabricated in our imaginations
but proved by deeds. And don't think He needs our works; He
needs the determination of our wills.
8. We seem to think that everything is done when we will-
ingly take and wear the religious habit and abandon all worldly
things and possessions for Him — even though these possessions
may amount to no more than the nets St. Peter possessed,10 for
he who gives what he has thinks he gives enough. This renun-
ciation is a good enough preparation if one perseveres in it and
doesn't turn back and become involved with the vermin in the
first rooms, even if it be only in desire. There is no doubt that if
a person perseveres in this nakedness and detachment from all
worldly things he will reach his goal. But this perseverance in-
cludes the condition — and note that I am advising you of
this — that you consider yourselves useless servants, as St. Paul,
or Christ, says;11 and believe that you have not put our Lord
under any obligation to grant you these kinds of favors.
Rather, as one who has received more, you are more
indebted.12 What can we do for a God so generous that He
died for us, created us, and gives us being? Shouldn't we con-
sider ourselves lucky to be able to repay something of what we
owe Him for His service toward us? I say these words "His serv-
ice toward us" unwillingly; but the fact is that He did nothing
else but serve us all the time He lived in this world. And yet we
ask Him again for favors and gifts.
9. Reflect a great deal, daughters, on some of the things
that are here pointed out, even though in a jumbled way, for I
don't know how to explain them further. The Lord will give
you understanding of them so that out of dryness you may
draw humility — and not disquiet, which is what the devil aims
after. Be convinced that where humility is truly present God
will give a peace and conformity — even though He may never
give consolations — by which one will walk with greater con-
The Interior Castle 111:2
309
tentment than will others with their consolations. For often, as
you have read,13 the divine Majesty gives these consolations to
the weaker souls; although I think we would not exchange
these consolations for the fortitude of those who walk in
dryness. We are fonder of consolations than we are of the cross.
Test us, Lord — for You know the truth — so that we may know
ourselves.
Chapter 2
Continues on the same topic; deals with dryness in prayer; with
what, in her opinion, might take place at this stage; how it is
necessary to test ourselves; and with the fact that the Lord does
try those who are in these dwelling places.
I HAVE KNOWN SOME SOULS and even many -I believe I
can say — who have reached this state and have lived many
years in this upright and well-ordered way both in body and
soul, insofar as can be known. After these years, when it seems
they have become lords of the world, at least clearly disillu-
sioned in its regard, His Majesty will try them in some minor
matters, and they will go about so disturbed and afflicted that
it puzzles me and even makes me fearful. It's useless to give
them advice, for since they have engaged so long in the prac-
tice of virtue they think they can teach others and that they are
more than justified in feeling disturbed.
2. In sum, I have found neither a way of consoling nor a
cure for such persons other than to show them compassion in
their affliction — and, indeed, compassion is felt on seeing
them subject to so much misery — and not contradict their
reasoning. For everything in their minds leads them to think
they are suffering these things for God, and so, they don't come
to realize that their disturbance is an imperfection. This is
another mistake of persons so advanced. There is no reason for
us to be surprised at what they experience; although I do think
the feeling stirred by such things should pass quickly. For God
310
St. Teresa of Avila
often desires that His chosen ones feel their wretchedness, and
He withdraws His favor a little. No more is necessary, for I
would wager that we'd then soon get to know ourselves. The
nature of this trial is immediately understood, for they
recognize their fault very clearly. Sometimes, seeing their fault
distresses them more than the thing that disturbs them, for
unable to help themselves they are affected by earthly happen-
ings even though these may not be very burdensome. This
distress, I think, is a great mercy from God; and although it is a
defect, it is very beneficial for humility.
3. As for the persons I am speaking about, this is not so.
But, as I have said, they canonize these feelings in their minds
and would like others to do so. I want to mention some of these
feelings so that we may understand and test ourselves before
the Lord tests us. It is very important to be prepared and to
have understood ourselves beforehand.
4. A rich person without children or anyone to whom he
might want to leave his possessions happens to lose his wealth,
but not to such an extent that he lacks necessities for himself
and for the management of his household; he even has a
surplus. If he should go about as worried and disturbed as he
would be if not even a piece of bread were left, how can our
Lord ask him to leave all for Him?1 Here the person makes the
excuse that he feels the way he does because he wants these
things for the poor. But I believe that God has a greater desire
that such a person conform to the divine will and that, though
this person may try to procure such wealth, he keep his soul at
rest rather than worry about charity of such a kind. And if the
person doesn't do this, because the Lord has not brought him
so far, well and good; but he should understand that he lacks
this freedom of spirit. And because the Lord will ask him for it,
he should prepare himself so that the Lord may give it to him;
he will be asking His Majesty for it.
A person has plenty to eat and even a surplus; the opportunity
presents itself for him to acquire more wealth; all right, let him
do so if it is offered to him. But if he strives for wealth and after
possessing it strives for more and more, however good the inten-
tion may be (for he should have a good intention because, as
The Interior Castle - 111:2
311
I have said,2 these are virtuous persons of prayer), he need have
no fear of ascending to the dwelling places closest to the King.
5. There is a similar occurrence when an opportunity
presents itself for these persons to be despised or to lose a little
honor. God often grants them the favor of enduring such a
thing; for He is very fond of favoring virtue publicly so that vir-
tue itself will not undergo a loss of esteem. Or He will also do so
because they have served Him, for this Beloved of ours is very
good. But now they are left in such disquiet they cannot help
themselves, nor can they quickly get rid of this disturbance.
God help me! Aren't these the ones who for a long while now
have considered how the Lord suffered and how good suffering
is, and who have desired it? They would like everyone to live a
life as well ordered as they do; and please God they will not
think their grief is for the faults of others and in their minds
turn it into something meritorious.
6. It must seem to you, Sisters, that I'm not staying on the
subject or not speaking to you, for these things don't take place
here. Neither do we have wealth nor do we desire or strive for
it, nor does anyone do injury to us. As a result the examples are
not relevant to us. But from these examples many lessons can
be learned about things which it would not be good to single
out, nor would there be reason to do so. Through the above ex-
amples you will understand whether or not you are truly
stripped of what you have left behind. For little things happen
even though not of this kind, in which you can very well test
and know whether or not you are the rulers of your passions.
And believe me the whole affair doesn't lie in whether or not
we wear the religious habit but in striving to practice the vir-
tues, in surrendering our will to God in everything, in bringing
our life into accordance with what His Majesty ordains for it,
and in desiring that His will not ours be done.3 Since we may
not have reached this stage — humility, as I have said!4 Humili-
ty is the ointment for our wounds because if we indeed have
humility, even though there may be a time of delay, the
surgeon, who is our Lord, will come to heal us.
7. The penance these souls do is well balanced, like their
lives. They desire penance a great deal so as to serve our Lord
312
St. Teresa of Avila
by it. Nothing of this is wrong, and thus they are very discreet
in doing it in a way so as not to harm their health. Have no fear
that they will kill themselves, for their reason is still very much
in control. Love has not yet reached the point of overwhelming
reason. But I should like us to use our reason to make ourselves
dissatisfied with this way of serving God, always going step by
step, for we'll never finish this journey. And since, in our opin-
ion, we are continually walking and are tired (for, believe me, it
is a wearisome journey), we will be doing quite well if we don't
go astray. But does it seem to you, daughters, that if we could go
from one land to another in eight days, it would be good to take
a year through wind, snow, rain, and bad roads? Wouldn't it be
better to make the journey all at once? For all these obstacles are
present, as well as danger from snakes. Oh what good proofs I
could give of these things. And please God I may have passed
beyond this stage, for often enough it seems to me I haven't.
8. Since we are so circumspect, everything offends us
because we fear everything; so we don't dare go further — as if
we could reach these dwelling places while leaving to other per-
sons the trouble of treading the path for us. Since this is not
possible, let us exert ourselves, my Sisters, for the love of the
Lord; let's abandon our reason and our fears into His hands;
let's forget this natural weakness that can take up our attention
so much. Let the prelates take care of our bodily needs; that's
their business. As for ourselves, we should care only about mov-
ing quickly so as to see this Lord. Even though the comfort you
have is little or none at all, we could be deceived by worry
about our health. Furthermore, worry over our health will not
improve our health. This I know. And I also know that the
whole affair doesn't lie in what pertains to the body, for this is
what is the least important. The journey I am speaking of must
be taken with great humility. For if you have understood, it is
in regard to humility, I believe, that there is an obstacle for
those who do not go forward. It should seem to us that we have
gone but a few steps, and we should believe this to be so, and
that those our Sisters have taken are rapid ones; and not only
should we desire but we should strive that they consider us the
most miserable of all.
The Interior Castle - 111:2
313
9. With humility present, this stage is a most excellent one.
If humility is lacking, we will remain here our whole life — and
with a thousand afflictions and miseries. For since we will not
have abandoned ourselves, this state will be very laborious and
burdensome. We shall be walking while weighed down with
this mud of our human misery, which is not so with those who
ascend to the remaining rooms. But in these rooms of which
we're speaking, the Lord, as one who is just or even merciful,
does not fail to pay; for He always gives much more than we
deserve by giving us consolations far greater than those we find
in the comforts and distractions of life. But I don't think He
gives much spiritual delight unless sometimes in order to invite
souls by the sight of what takes place in the remaining dwelling
places and so that they will prepare themselves to enter them.
10. It will seem to you that consolations and spiritual
delights are the same, so why should I make this distinction?
To me it seems there is a very great difference between the two.
Now I can be wrong. I'll say what I understand about this
when I speak of the fourth dwelling places which come after
these. For since something will have to be explained about the
spiritual delights the Lord gives there, the discussion will be
more appropriate at that time. And although the explanation
may seem to be useless it might help somewhat so that in
understanding the nature of each thing you will be able to
strive for what is best. Great solace comes to souls God brings
there, and confusion to those who think they have everything.
If souls are humble they will be moved to give thanks. If there
is some lack in humility, they will feel an inner distaste for
which they will find no reason. For perfection as well as its
reward does not consist in spiritual delights but in greater love
and in deeds done with greater justice and truth.
11. You will wonder, if this is true — as it is — what use it
serves to explain and treat of these interior favors. I don't
know. Ask him who ordered me to write, for I am not obliged
to dispute with superiors but to obey — nor would disputing
with them be right. What I can truthfully say to you is that at
one time I didn't have or even know about these favors through
experience or think that I would ever in my life know about
314
St. Teresa of Avila
them in this way — and rightly so, for it was happiness enough
for me to know, or by conjecture understand, that I was pleas-
ing God in something. But when I read in books about these
delights and favors the Lord grants souls that serve Him, I was
very much consoled and moved to give great praise to God.
Well, if my soul which was so wretched did this, those souls
that are good and humble will praise Him much more. And if
one alone is led to praise Him even once, it is in my opinion
very good that the subject be mentioned so that we know about
the happiness and delight we lose through our own fault.
Moreover, if these favors are from God they come brimming
over with love and fortitude by which you can journey with less
labor and grow in the practice of works and virtues. Don't
think that it matters little to lose such favors through our own
fault; when it isn't our fault, the Lord is just.5 His Majesty will
give you through other paths what He keeps from you on this
one because of what He knows, for His secrets are very hidden;
at least what He does will without any doubt be what is most
suitable for us.
12. What it seems to me would be highly beneficial for those
who through the goodness of the Lord are in this state (for, as I
have said,6 He grants them no small mercy because they are
very close to ascending higher) is that they study diligently how
to be prompt in obedience. And even if they are not members
of a religious order, it would be a great thing for them to
have — as do many persons — someone whom they could consult
so as not to do their own will in anything. Doing our own will is
usually what harms us. And they shouldn't seek another of
their own making, as they say — one who is so circumspect
about everything; but seek out someone who is very free from
illusion about the things of the world. For in order to know
ourselves, it helps a great deal to speak with someone who
already knows the world for what it is. And it helps also
because when we see some things done by others that seem so
impossible for us and the ease with which they are done, we
become very encouraged. And it seems that through the flight
of these others we also will make bold to fly, as do the bird's
fledglings when they are taught; for even though they do not
begin to soar immediately, little by little they imitate the
The Interior Castle - 111:2
315
parent. Receiving this help is most beneficial; I know. However
determined they are to keep from offending the Lord, these
persons will be right not to place themselves in the occasion of
offending Him. Since they are close to the first dwelling places,
they could easily return to them. Their fortitude is not founded
on solid ground, as is the case with those who are tried in suf-
fering, for these latter know about the storms of the world and
what little reason there is to fear them or desire the world's con-
solations. But it would be possible for the former in a great
persecution to return to these consolations. The devil knows
well how to stir up tempests so as to do us harm, and these per-
sons would be unable to bear the trials that would come from
their zeal to prevent others from committing sin.
13. Let us look at our own faults and leave aside those of
others, for it is very characteristic of persons with such well-
ordered lives to be shocked by everything. Perhaps we could
truly learn from the one who shocks us what is most important
even though we may surpass him in external composure and
our way of dealing with others. Although good, these latter
things are not what is most important; nor is there any reason
to desire that everyone follow at once our own path, or to set
about teaching the way of the spirit to someone who perhaps
doesn't know what such a thing is. For with these desires that
God gives us, Sisters, about the good of souls, we can make
many mistakes. So it is better to carry out what our rule says, to
strive to live always in silence and hope,7 for the Lord will take
care of these souls. If we ourselves are not negligent in
beseeching His Majesty to do so, we shall, with His favor, do
much good. May He be blessed forever.
THE FOURTH DWELLING PLACES
Contains Three Chapters
Chapter 1
Discusses the difference between consolations (or feelings of
tenderness) in prayer and spiritual delights. 1 Tells of her hap-
piness on learning the difference between the mind and the in-
tellect. This knowledge is very beneficial for anyone who is
greatly distracted in prayer.
IN ORDER TO BEGIN to speak of the fourth dwelling places
I really need to entrust myself, as I've already done, to the
Holy Spirit and beg Him to speak for me from here on that I
may say something about the remaining rooms in a way that
you will understand. For supernatural experiences begin here.
These are something most difficult to explain, if His Majesty
doesn't do so, as was said in another book I wrote fourteen
years ago, more or less, in which I dealt with these experiences
to the extent of my knowledge of them at that time. Although I
think I now have a little more light about these favors the Lord
grants to some souls, knowing how to explain them is a dif-
ferent matter.2 May His Majesty help me to do so if it will be of
some benefit; and if not, then no.
2. Since these dwelling places now are closer to where the
King is, their beauty is great. There are things to see and
understand so delicate that the intellect is incapable of finding
words to explain them, although something might turn out to
be well put and not at all obscure to the unexperienced; and
anyone who has experience, especially when there is a lot of it,
will understand very well.
316
The Interior Castle - IV: 1
317
It will seem that to reach these dwelling places one will have
had to live in the others a long while. Although it is usual that a
person will have to have stayed in those already spoken about,
there is no certain rule, as you will have often heard. For the
Lord gives when He desires, as He desires, and to whom He
desires. Since these blessings belong to Him, He does no in-
justice to anyone.3
3. Poisonous creatures rarely enter these dwelling places. If
they enter they do no harm; rather, they are the occasion of
gain. I hold that the situation is much better in this stage of
prayer when these creatures do enter and wage war, for the
devil could deceive one with respect to the spiritual delights
given by God if there were no temptations, and do much more
harm than when temptations are felt. The soul would not gain
so much; at least all the things contributing to its merit would
be removed, and it would be left in a habitual absorption. For
when a soul is in one continual state, I don't consider it safe,
nor do I think it is possible for the spirit of the Lord to be in
one fixed state during this exile.
4. Well now, in speaking about what I said I'd mention
here4 concerning the difference in prayer between consolations
and spiritual delights, the term "consolations," I think, can be
given to those experiences we ourselves acquire through our
own meditation and petitions to the Lord, those that proceed
from our own nature — although God in the end does have a
hand in them; for it must be understood, in whatever I say,
that without Him we can do nothing.5 But the consolations
arise from the virtuous work itself that we perform, and it
seems that we have earned them through our own effort and
are rightly consoled for having engaged in such deeds. But if
we reflect upon this, we see that we experience the same joyful
consolations in many of the things that can happen to us on
earth; for example: when someone suddenly inherits a great
fortune; when we suddenly see a person we love very much;
when we succeed in a large and important business matter and
of which everyone speaks well; when you see your husband or
brother or son alive after someone has told you he is dead. I have
seen the flow of tears from great consolations, and this has even
318
St. Teresa of Avila
happened to me at times. I think that just as these joyful con-
solations are natural so are those afforded us by the things of
God, but these latter are of a nobler kind, although the others
are not bad. In sum, joyful consolations in prayer have their
beginning in our own human nature and end in God.
The spiritual delights begin in God, but human nature feels
and enjoys them as much as it does those I mentioned — and
much more. O Jesus, how I long to know how to explain this!
For I discern, I think, a very recognizable difference, but I
don't have the knowledge to be able to explain myself. May the
Lord do so.
5. Now I remember a line that we say at Prime, in the latter
part of the verse at the end of the last psalm: Cum dilatasti cor
meum. 6 For anyone who has had much experience these words
are sufficient to see the difference between consolations and
spiritual delights; for anyone who has not, more words are
needed. The consolations that were mentioned do not expand
the heart; rather, they usually seem to constrain it a lit-
tle—although there is the greatest consolation at seeing what is
done for God. But some anxious tears come that in a way, it
seems, are brought on by the passions. I don't know much
about these passions of the soul — knowledge of them might
perhaps have enabled me to explain — and what proceeds from
sensuality and from our human nature, for I am very dull. If
only I knew how to explain myself, for since I have undergone
this I understand it. Knowledge and learning are a great help
in everything.
6. My experience of this state (I mean of this joy and con-
solation that comes during meditation) is that if I began to
weep over the Passion I didn't know how to stop until I got a
severe headache; if I did so over my sins, the same thing hap-
pened. Our Lord granted me quite a favor. Yet I don't want to
examine now whether the one or the other is better, but I
would like to know how to explain the difference there is be-
tween the one and the other. It is for these reasons sometimes
that these tears flow and desires come, and they are furthered
by human nature and one's temperament; but finally, as I
have said,7 they end in God regardless of their nature. They
The Interior Castle - IV: 1
319
are to be esteemed if there is the humility to understand that
one is no better because of experiencing them, for it cannot be
known whether they are all effects of love. When they are, the
gift is God's.
For the most part, the souls in the previous dwelling places are
the ones who have these devout feelings, for these souls work
almost continually with the intellect, engaging in discursive
thought and meditation. And they do well because nothing fur-
ther has been given them; although they would be right if they
engaged for a while in making acts of love, praising God, rejoic-
ing in His goodness, that He is who He is, and in desiring His
honor and glory. These acts should be made insofar as possible,
for they are great awakeners of the will. Such souls would be well
advised when the Lord gives them these acts not to abandon
them for the sake of finishing the usual meditation.
7. Because I have spoken at length on this subject
elsewhere,8 I will say nothing about it here. I only wish to in-
form you that in order to profit by this path and ascend to the
dwelling places we desire, the important thing is not to think
much but to love much;9 and so do that which best stirs you to
love. Perhaps we don't know what love is. I wouldn't be very
surprised, because it doesn't consist in great delight but in
desiring with strong determination to please God in everything,
in striving, insofar as possible, not to offend Him, and in ask-
ing Him for the advancement of the honor and glory of His Son
and the increase of the Catholic Church. These are the signs of
love. Don't think the matter lies in thinking of nothing else,
and that if you become a little distracted all is lost.
8. I have been very afflicted at times in the midst of this tur-
moil of mind. A little more than four years ago I came to
understand through experience that the mind (or imagination,
to put it more clearly) is not the intellect. I asked a learned
man and he told me that this was so; which brought me no
small consolation.10 For since the intellect is one of the soul's
faculties, it was an arduous thing for me that it should be so
restless at times. Ordinarily the mind flies about quickly, for
only God can hold it fast in such a way as to make it seem that
we are somehow loosed from this body. I have seen, I think,
320
St. Teresa of Avila
that the faculties of my soul were occupied and recollected in
God while my mind on the other hand was distracted. This
distraction puzzled me.11
9. O Lord, take into account the many things we suffer on
this path for lack of knowledge! The trouble is that since we do
not think there is anything to know other than that we must
think of You, we do not even know how to ask those who know
nor do we understand what there is to ask. Terrible trials are
suffered because we don't understand ourselves, and that
which isn't bad at all but good we think is a serious fault. This
lack of knowledge causes the afflictions of many people who
engage in prayer; complaints about interior trials, at least to a
great extent, by people who have no learning; melancholy and
loss of health; and even the complete abandonment of prayer.
For such persons don't reflect that there is an interior world
here within us. Just as we cannot stop the movement of the
heavens, but they proceed in rapid motion, so neither can we
stop our mind; and then the faculties of the soul go with it, and
we think we are lost and have wasted the time spent before
God. But the soul is perhaps completely joined with Him in the
dwelling places very close to the center while the mind is on the
outskirts of the castle suffering from a thousand wild and
poisonous beasts, and meriting by this suffering. As a result we
should not be disturbed; nor should we abandon prayer, which
is what the devil wants us to do. For the most part all the trials
and disturbances come from our not understanding ourselves.
10. While writing this, I'm thinking about what's going on
in my head with the great noise there that I mentioned in the
beginning.12 It makes it almost impossible for me to write what
I was ordered to. It seems as if there are in my head many
rushing rivers and that these waters are hurtling downward,
and many little birds and whistling sounds, not in the ears but
in the upper part of the head where, they say, the higher part
of the soul is. And I was in that superior part for a long time,
for it seems this powerful movement of the spirit is a swift up-
ward one. Please God I'll remember to mention the cause of
this in discussing the dwelling places that come further on, for
this is not a fitting place to do so, and I wouldn't be surprised if
The Interior Castle - IV: 1
321
the Lord gave me this headache so that I could understand
these things better. For all this turmoil in my head doesn't
hinder prayer or what I am saying, but the soul is completely
taken up in its quiet, love, desires, and clear knowledge.
11. Now then if the superior part of the soul is in the
superior part of the head, why isn't the soul disturbed? This I
don't know. But I do know that what I say is true. The pain is
felt when suspension does not accompany the prayer. When
suspension does accompany prayer, no pain is felt until the
suspension passes. But it would be very bad if I were to aban-
don everything on account of this obstacle. And so it isn't good
for us to be disturbed by our thoughts, nor should we be con-
cerned. If the devil causes them, they will cease with this
suspension. If they come, as they do, from one of the many
miseries inherited through the sin of Adam, let us be patient
and endure them for the love of God since we are likewise sub-
ject to eating and sleeping without being able to avoid it, which
is quite a trial.
12. Let us recognize our misery and desire to go where no
one will taunt us, for sometimes I recall having heard these
words the bride says in the Song of Songs. 1 3 And indeed I don't
find in all of life anything about which they can be more right-
ly said. It seems to me that all the contempt and trials one can
endure in life cannot be compared to these interior battles.
Any disquiet and war can be suffered if we find peace where we
live, as I have already said.14 But that we desire to rest from the
thousand trials there are in the world and that the Lord wants
to prepare us for tranquillity and that within ourselves lies the
obstacle to such rest and tranquillity cannot fail to be very
painful and almost unbearable. So, Lord, bring us to the place
where these miseries will not taunt us, for they seem sometimes
to be making fun of the soul. Even in this life, the Lord frees
the soul from these miseries when it reaches the last dwelling
place, as we shall say if God wills.15
13. These miseries will not afflict or assail everyone as much
as they did me for many years because of my wretchedness. It
seems that I myself wanted to take vengeance on myself. And
since the experience was something so painful for me, I think
322
St. Teresa of Avila
perhaps that it will be so for you too. And I so often speak of it
here and there that I might sometime succeed in explaining to
you that it is an unavoidable thing and should not be a distur-
bance or affliction for you but that we must let the millclapper
go clacking on, and must continue grinding our flour and not
fail to work with the will and the intellect.
14. There is a more and a less to this obstacle in accordance
with one's health and age. Let the poor soul suffer even though
it has no fault in this; we have other faults, which makes it
right for us to practice patience. And since our reading and the
counsels we receive (that is, to pay no attention to these
thoughts) don't suffice, I don't think that the time spent in ex-
plaining these things for those of you with little knowledge and
consoling you in this matter is time lost. But until the Lord
wants to enlighten us, these counsels will be of little help. Yet,
it is necessary and His Majesty wishes us to take the means and
understand ourselves; and let's not blame the soul for what a
weak imagination, human nature, and the devil cause.
Chapter 2
Continues on the same subject and explains through a com-
parison the nature of spiritual delight and how this is attained
by not seeking it.
GOD HELP ME with what I have undertaken! I've already
forgot what I was dealing with, for business matters and
poor health have forced me to set this work aside just when I
was at my best; and since I have a poor memory everything will
come out confused because I can't go back to read it over. And
perhaps even everything else I say is confused; at least that's
what I feel it is.
It seems to me I have explained the nature of consolations in
the spiritual life.1 Since they are sometimes mixed with our
own passions, they are the occasion of loud sobbing; and I have
heard some persons say they experience a tightening in the
The Interior Castle - IV :2
323
chest and even external bodily movements that they cannot
restrain. The force of these passions can cause nosebleeds and
other things just as painful. I don't know how to explain
anything about these experiences because I haven't had any.
But they must nonetheless be consoling, for, as I'm saying,2 the
whole experience ends in the desire to please God and enjoy
His Majesty's company.
2. The experiences that I call spiritual delight in God, that I
termed elsewhere the prayer of quiet,3 are of a very different
kind, as those of you who by the mercy of God have experi-
enced them will know. Let's consider, for a better under-
standing, that we see two founts with two water troughs. (For I
don't find anything more appropriate to explain some spiritual
experiences than water; and this is because I know little and
have no helpful cleverness of mind and am so fond of this ele-
ment that I have observed it more attentively than other
things. In all the things that so great and wise a God has
created there must be many beneficial secrets, and those who
understand them do benefit, although I believe that in each
little thing created by God there is more than what is
understood, even if it is a little ant.)
3. These two troughs are filled with water in different ways;
with one the water comes from far away through many
aqueducts and the use of much ingenuity; with the other the
source of the water is right there, and the trough fills without
any noise. If the spring is abundant, as is this one we are speak-
ing about, the water overflows once the trough is filled, form-
ing a large stream. There is no need of any skill, nor does the
building of aqueducts have to continue; but water is always
flowing from the spring.
The water coming from the aqueducts is comparable, in my
opinion, to the consolations I mentioned4 that are drawn from
meditation. For we obtain them through thoughts, assisting
ourselves, using creatures to help our meditation, and tiring
the intellect. Since, in the end, the consolation comes through
our own efforts, noise is made when there has to be some
replenishing of the benefits the consolation causes in the soul,
as has been said.5
324
St. Teresa of Avila
4. With this other fount, the water comes from its own
source which is God. And since His Majesty desires to do
so — when He is pleased to grant some supernatural favor — He
produces this delight with the greatest peace and quiet and
sweetness in the very interior part of ourselves. I don't know
from where or how, nor is that happiness and delight ex-
perienced, as are earthly consolations, in the heart. I mean
there is no similarity at the beginning, for afterward the
delight fills everything; this water overflows through all the
dwelling places and faculties until reaching the body. That is
why I said6 that it begins in God and ends in ourselves. For,
certainly, as anyone who may have experienced it will see, the
whole exterior man enjoys this spiritual delight and sweetness.
5. I was now thinking, while writing this, that the verse
mentioned above, Dilatasti cor meum,7 says the heart was ex-
panded. I don't think the experience is something, as I say,
that rises from the heart, but from another part still more in-
terior, as from something deep. I think this must be the center
of the soul, as I later came to understand and will mention at
the end.8 For certainly I see secrets within ourselves that have
often caused me to marvel. And how many more there must
be! Oh, my Lord and my God, how great are Your grandeurs!
We go about here below like foolish little shepherds, for while
it seems that we are getting some knowledge of You it must
amount to no more than nothing; for even in our own selves
there are great secrets that we don't understand. I say "no
more than nothing" because I'm comparing it to the many,
many secrets that are in You, not because the grandeurs we see
in You are not extraordinary; and that includes those we can
attain knowledge of through Your works.
6. To return to the verse, what I think is helpful in it for ex-
plaining this matter is the idea of expansion. It seems that since
that heavenly water begins to rise from this spring I'm men-
tioning that is deep within us, it swells and expands our whole
interior being, producing ineffable blessings; nor does the soul
even understand what is given to it there. It perceives a
fragrance, let us say for now, as though there were in that in-
terior depth a brazier giving off sweet -smelling perfumes. No
The Interior Castle ~ IV :2
325
light is seen, nor is the place seen where the brazier is; but the
warmth and the fragrant fumes spread through the entire soul
and even often enough, as I have said,9 the body shares in
them. See now that you understand me; no heat is felt, nor is
there the scent of any perfume, for the experience is more
delicate than an experience of these things; but I use the ex-
amples only so as to explain it to you. And let persons who have
not experienced these things understand that truthfully they
do happen and are felt in this way, and the soul understands
them in a manner clearer than is my explanation right now.
This spiritual delight is not something that can be imagined,
because however diligent our efforts we cannot acquire it. The
very experience of it makes us realize that it is not of the same
metal as we ourselves but fashioned from the purest gold of the
divine wisdom. Here, in my opinion, the faculties are not
united but absorbed and looking as though in wonder at what
they see.
7 . It's possible that in dealing with these interior matters I
might contradict something of what I said elsewhere. That's no
surprise, because in the almost fifteen years10 since I wrote it
the Lord may perhaps have given me clearer understanding
in these matters than I had before. Now, as then, I could be
completely mistaken — but I would not lie, because by God's
mercy I'd rather suffer a thousand deaths. I speak of what I
understand.
8. It seems clear to me the will must in some way be united
with God's will. But it is in the effects and deeds following
afterward that one discerns the true value of prayer; there is no
better crucible for testing prayer. It is quite a great favor from
our Lord if the person receiving the favor recognizes it, and a
very great one if he doesn't turn back.
You will at once desire, my daughters, to obtain this prayer;
and you are right, for, as I have said,11 the soul will never
understand the favors the Lord is granting there or the love
with which He is drawing it nearer to Himself. It is good to try
to understand how we can obtain such a favor; so I am going to
tell you what I have understood about this.
326
St. Teresa of Avila
9. Let's leave aside the times when our Lord is pleased to
grant it because He wants to and for no other reason. He knows
why; we don't have to meddle in this. After you have done
what should be done by those in the previous dwelling places:
humility! humility! By this means the Lord allows Himself to be
conquered with regard to anything we want from Him. The
first sign for seeing whether or not you have humility is that you
do not think you deserve these favors and spiritual delights
from the Lord or that you will receive them in your lifetime.
You will ask me how then one can obtain them without seek-
ing them. I answer that for the following reasons there is no
better way than the one I mentioned, of not striving for them.
First, because the initial thing necessary for such favors is to
love God without self-interest. Second, because there is a slight
lack of humility in thinking that for our miserable services
something so great can be obtained. Third, because the
authentic preparation for these favors on the part of those of us
who, after all, have offended Him is the desire to suffer and
imitate the Lord rather than to have spiritual delights. Fourth,
because His Majesty is not obliged to give them to us as He is to
give us glory if we keep His commandments. (Without these
favors we can be saved, and He knows better than we ourselves
what is fitting for us and who of us truly loves Him. This is cer-
tain, I know. And I know persons who walk by the path of love
as they ought to walk, that is, only so as to serve their Christ
crucified; not only do these persons refuse to seek spiritual
delights from Him or to desire them but they beseech Him not
to give them these favors during their lifetime. This is true.)
The fifth reason is that we would be laboring in vain; for since
this water must not be drawn through aqueducts as was the
previous water, we are little helped by tiring ourselves if the
spring doesn't want to produce it. I mean that no matter how
much we meditate or how much we try to squeeze something
out and have tears, this water doesn't come in such a way. It is
given only to whom God wills to give it and often when the soul
is least thinking of it.
10. We belong to Him, daughters. Let Him do whatever He
likes with us, bring us wherever He pleases. I really believe that
The Interior Castle - IV: 3
327
whoever humbles himself and is detached (I mean in fact
because the detachment and humility must not be just in our
thoughts — for they often deceive us — but complete) will
receive the favor of this water from the Lord and many other
favors that we don't know how to desire. May He be forever
praised and blessed, amen.
Chapter 3
Deals with the prayer of recollection which for the most part
the Lord gives before the prayer just mentioned. Tells about its
effects and about those that come from that spiritual delight,
given by the Lord, that was discussed in the previous chapter.
THE EFFECTS OF THIS PRAYER are many. I shall
mention some. But first, I want to mention another kind
of prayer that almost always begins before this one. Since I
have spoken of such a prayer elsewhere,1 I shall say little. It is a
recollection that also seems to me to be supernatural because it
doesn't involve being in the dark or closing the eyes, nor does it
consist in any exterior thing, since without first wanting to do
so, one does close one's eyes and desire solitude. It seems that
without any contrivance the edifice is being built, by means of
this recollection, for the prayer that was mentioned. The senses
and exterior things seem to be losing their hold because the
soul is recovering what it had lost.
2. They say that the soul enters within itself and, at other
times, that it rises above itself.2 With such terminology I
wouldn't know how to clarify anything. This is what's wrong
with me: that I think you will understand by my way of ex-
plaining, while perhaps I'm the only one who will understand
myself. Let us suppose that these senses and faculties (for I
have already mentioned that these powers are the people of
this castle,3 which is the image I have taken for my explana-
tion) have gone outside and have walked for days and years
with strangers — enemies of the well-being of the castle. Having
328
St. Teresa of Avila
seen their perdition they've already begun to approach the cas-
tle even though they may not manage to remain inside because
the habit of doing so is difficult to acquire. But still they are
not traitors, and they walk in the environs of the castle. Once
the great King, who is in the center dwelling place of this cas-
tle, sees their good will, He desires in His wonderful mercy to
bring them back to Him. Like a good shepherd, with a whistle
so gentle that even they themselves almost fail to hear it, He
makes them recognize His voice and stops them from going so
far astray so that they will return to their dwelling place. And
this shepherd's whistle has such power that they abandon the
exterior things in which they were estranged from Him and
enter the castle.
3. I don't think I've ever explained it as clearly as I have
now. When God grants the favor it is a great help to seek Him
within where He is found more easily and in a way more
beneficial to us than when sought in creatures, as St.
Augustine says after having looked for Him in many places.4
Don't think this recollection is acquired by the intellect striving
to think about God within itself, or by the imagination imagin-
ing Him within itself. Such efforts are good and an excellent
kind of meditation because they are founded on a truth, which
is that God is within us. But this isn't the prayer of recollection
because it is something each one can do — with the help of God,
as should be understood of everything. But what I'm speaking
of comes in a different way. Sometimes before one begins to
think of God, these people are already inside the castle. I don't
know in what way or how they heard their shepherd's whistle.
It wasn't through the ears, because nothing is heard. But one
noticeably senses a gentle drawing inward, as anyone who goes
through this will observe, for I don't know how to make it
clearer. It seems to me I have read where it was compared to a
hedgehog curling up or a turtle drawing into its shell.5 (The
one who wrote this example must have understood the ex-
perience well.) But these creatures draw inward whenever they
want. In the case of this recollection, it doesn't come when we
want it but when God wants to grant us the favor. I for myself
hold that when His Majesty grants it, He does so to persons who
The Interior Castle - IV: 3
329
are already beginning to despise the things of the world. I don't
say that those in the married state do so in deed, for they can-
not, but in desire; for He calls such persons especially so that
they might be attentive to interior matters. So I believe that if
we desire to make room for His Majesty, He will give not only
this but more, and give it to those whom He begins to call to
advance further.
4. May whoever experiences this within himself praise God
greatly because it is indeed right to recognize the favor and give
thanks, for doing so will dispose one for other greater favors.
And this recollection is a preparation for being able to listen,
as is counselled in some books,6 so that the soul instead of striv-
ing to engage in discourse strives to remain attentive and aware
of what the Lord is working in it. If His Majesty has not begun
to absorb us, I cannot understand how the mind can be
stopped. There's no way of doing so without bringing about
more harm than good, although there has been a lengthy con-
troversy on this matter among some spiritual persons. For my
part I must confess my lack of humility, but those in favor of
stopping the mind have never given me a reason for submitting
to what they say. One of them tried to convince me with a cer-
tain book by the saintly Friar Peter of Alcantara7 — for I believe
he is a saint — to whom I would submit because I know that he
knew. And we read it together, and he says the same thing I
do; although not in my words. But it is clear in what he says
that love must be already awakened. It could be that I'm
mistaken, but I have the following reasons.
5. First, in this work of the spirit the one who thinks less and
has less desire to act does more. What we must do is beg like
the needy poor before a rich and great emperor, and then
lower our eyes and wait with humility. When through His
secret paths it seems we understand that He hears us, then it is
good to be silent since He has allowed us to remain near Him;
and it will not be wrong to avoid working with the intellect — if
we can work with it, I mean. But if we don't yet know whether
this King has heard or seen us, we mustn't become fools. The
soul does become quite a fool when it tries to induce this
prayer, and it is left much drier; and the imagination perhaps
330
St. Teresa of Avila
becomes more restless through the effort made not to think of
anything. But the Lord desires that we beseech Him and call to
mind that we are in His presence; He knows what is suitable for
us. I cannot persuade myself to use human diligence in a mat-
ter in which it seems His Majesty has placed a limit, and I want
to leave the diligence to Him. What He did not reserve to
Himself are many other efforts we can make with His help,
such as: penance, good deeds, and prayer — insofar as our
wretchedness can do these things.
6. The second reason is that these interior works are all gen-
tle and peaceful; doing something arduous would cause more
harm than good. I call any force that we might want to use
"something arduous"; for example, it would be arduous to
hold one's breath. Leave the soul in God's hands, let Him do
whatever He wants with it, with the greatest disinterest about
your own benefit as is possible and the greatest resignation to
the will of God.
The third reason is that the very care used not to think of
anything will perhaps rouse the mind to think very much.
The fourth is that what is most essential and pleasing to God
is that we be mindful of His honor and glory and forget
ourselves and our own profit and comfort and delight. How is a
person forgetful of self if he is so careful not to stir or even to
allow his intellect or desires to be stirred to a longing for the
greater glory of God, or if he rests in what he already has?
When His Majesty desires the intellect to stop, He occupies it in
another way and gives it a light so far above what we can attain
that it remains absorbed. Then, without knowing how, the in-
tellect is much better instructed than it was through all the
soul's efforts not to make use of it. Since God gave us our
faculties that we might work with them and in this work they
find their reward, there is no reason to charm them; we should
let them perform their task until God appoints them to another
greater one.
7. What I understand to be most fitting for the soul the
Lord has desired to put in this dwelling place is that which has
been said.8 And without any effort or noise the soul should
The Interior Castle - IV: 3
331
strive to cut down the rambling of the intellect — but not sus-
pend either it or the mind; it is good to be aware that one is in
God's presence and of who God is. If what it feels within itself
absorbs it, well and good. But let it not strive to understand the
nature of this recollection, for it is given to the will. Let the
soul enjoy it without any endeavors other than some loving
words, for even though we may not try in this prayer to go
without thinking of anything, I know that often the intellect
will be suspended, even though for only a very brief moment.
8. But as I said elsewhere9 the reason why in this kind of
prayer — that is, the kind that is like the flowing spring in which
the water does not come through aqueducts — the soul restrains
itself or is restrained is its realization that it doesn't understand
what it desires; and so the mind wanders from one extreme to
the other, like a fool unable to rest in anything. (I am referring
to the kind of prayer this dwelling place began with, for I have
joined the prayer of recollection, which I should have men-
tioned first, with this one. The prayer of recollection is much
less intense than the prayer of spiritual delight from God that I
mentioned. But it is the beginning through which one goes to
the other; for in the prayer of recollection, meditation, or the
work of the intellect, must not be set aside.) The will has such
deep rest in its God that the clamor of the intellect is a terrible
bother to it. There is no need to pay any attention to this
clamor, for doing so would make the will lose much of what it
enjoys. But one should leave the intellect go and surrender
oneself into the arms of love, for His Majesty will teach the soul
what it must do at that point. Almost everything lies in finding
oneself unworthy of so great a good and in being occupied with
giving thanks.
9. In order to deal with the prayer of recollection I post-
poned mention of the effects or signs in souls to whom God, our
Lord, gives this prayer of quiet. What an expansion or dila-
tion of the soul is may be clearly understood from the example
of a fount whose water doesn't overflow into a stream because
the fount itself is constructed of such material that the more
water there is flowing into it the larger the trough becomes. So
it seems is the case with this prayer and many other marvels
332
St. Teresa of Avila
that God grants to the soul, for He enables and prepares it so
that it can keep everything within itself. Hence this interior
sweetness and expansion can be verified in the fact that the
soul is not as tied down as it was before in things pertaining to
the service of God, but has much more freedom. Thus, in not
being constrained by the fear of hell (because although there is
even greater fear of offending God it loses servile fear here),
this soul is left with great confidence that it will enjoy Him.
The fear it used to have of doing penance and losing its health
has disappeared, and it now thinks it will be able to do all
things in God10 and has greater desire for penance than
previously. The fear it used to have of trials it now sees to be
tempered. Its faith is more alive; it knows that if it suffers trials
for God, His Majesty will give it the grace to suffer them with
patience. Sometimes it even desires them because there also re-
mains a strong will to do something for God. Since its
knowledge of God's grandeur grows, it considers itself to be
more miserable. Because it has already experienced spiritual
delight from God, it sees that worldly delights are like filth. It
finds itself withdrawing from them little by little, and it is more
master of itself for so doing. In sum, there is an improvement
in all the virtues. It will continue to grow if it doesn't turn back
now to offending God; because if it does, then everything will
be lost however high on the summit the soul may be. Nor should
it be understood that if God grants this favor once or twice to a
soul all these good effects will be caused. It must persevere in
receiving them, for in this perseverance lies all our good.
10. One strong warning I give to whoever finds himself in
this state is that he guard very carefully against placing himself
in the occasion of offending God. In this prayer the soul is not
yet grown but is like a suckling child. If it turns away from its
mother's breasts, what can be expected for it but death? I am
very afraid that this will happen to anyone to whom God has
granted this favor and who withdraws from prayer — unless he
does so for a particularly special reason — or if he doesn't return
quickly to prayer, for he will go from bad to worse. I know
there is a great deal to fear in this matter. And I know some
persons for whom I have felt quite sorry — and I've seen what
The Interior Castle - IV: 3
333
I'm speaking about — because they have turned away from One
who with so much love wanted to be their friend and proved it
by deeds. I advise them so strongly not to place themselves in
the occasions of sin because the devil tries much harder for a
soul of this kind than for very many to whom the Lord does not
grant these favors. For such a soul can do a great deal of harm to
the devil by getting others to follow it, and it could be of great
benefit to God's Church. And even though the devil may have
no other reason than to see who it is to whom His Majesty shows
particular love, that's sufficient for him to wear himself out try-
ing to lead the soul to perdition. So these souls suffer much com-
bat, and if they go astray, they stray much more than do others.
You, Sisters, are free of dangers, from what we can know.
From pride and vainglory may God deliver you. If the devil
should counterfeit God's favors, this will be known by the fact
that these good effects are not caused, but just the opposite.
1 1 . There is one danger I want to warn you about (although
I may have mentioned it elsewhere)11 into which I have seen
persons of prayer fall, especially women, for since we are
weaker there is more occasion for what I'm about to say. It is
that some have a weak constitution because of a great amount
of penance, prayer, and keeping vigil, and even without these;
in receiving some favor, their nature is overcome. Since they
feel some consolation interiorly and a languishing and
weakness exteriorly, they think they are experiencing a
spiritual sleep (which is a prayer a little more intense than the
prayer of quiet)12 and they let themselves become absorbed.
The more they allow this, the more absorbed they become
because their nature is further weakened, and they fancy that
they are being carried away in rapture. I call it being carried
away in foolishness1 3 because it amounts to nothing more than
wasting time and wearing down one's health. These persons feel
nothing through their senses nor do they feel anything concern-
ing God. One person happened to remain eight hours in this
state. By sleeping and eating and avoiding so much penance,
this person got rid of the stupor, for there was someone who
understood her. She had misled both her confessor and other
persons, as well as herself— for she hadn't intended to deceive.
334
St. Teresa of A Vila
I truly believe that the devil was trying to gain ground, and in
this instance indeed he was beginning to gain no small amount.
12. It must be understood that when something is truly from
God there is no languishing in the soul, even though there may
be an interior and exterior languishing, for the soul ex-
periences deep feelings on seeing itself close to God. Nor does
the experience last so long, but for a very short while —
although one becomes absorbed again. In such prayer, if the
cause of it is not weakness, as I said,14 the body is not worn
down nor is any external feeling produced.
13. For this reason let them take the advice that when they
feel this languishing in themselves they tell the prioress and
distract themselves from it insofar as they can. The prioress
should make them give up so many hours for prayer so that
they have only a very few and try to get them to sleep and eat
well until their natural strength begins to return, if it has been
lost through a lack of food and sleep. If a Sister's nature is so
weak that this is not enough, may she believe me that God does
not want her to practice anything but the active life, which also
must be practiced in monasteries. They should let her get busy
with different duties; and always take care that she not have a
great deal of solitude, for she would lose her health completely.
It will be quite a mortification for her; in how she bears this
absence is the way the Lord wants to test her love for Him. And
He will be pleased to give her strength back after some time. If
He doesn't, she will gain through vocal prayer and through
obedience and will merit what she would have merited other-
wise, and perhaps more.
14. There could also be some persons with such weak heads
and imaginations — and I have known some — to whom it seems
that everything they think about they see. This is very
dangerous. Because I shall perhaps treat of it later on, I'll say
no more here. I have greatly enlarged upon this dwelling place
because it is the one which more souls enter. Since it is, and
since the natural and the supernatural are joined in it, the
devil can do more harm. In those dwelling places still to be
spoken of, the Lord doesn't give him so much leeway. May His
Majesty be forever praised, amen.
THE FIFTH DWELLING PLACES
Contains Four Chapters
Chapter 1
Begins to deal with how the soul is united to God in prayer.
Tells how one discerns whether there is any illusion.
O SISTERS, HOW CAN I explain the riches and treasures
and delights found in the fifth dwelling places? I believe
it would be better not to say anything about these remaining
rooms, for there is no way of knowing how to speak of them;
neither is the intellect capable of understanding them nor can
comparisons help in explaining them; earthly things are too
coarse for such a purpose.
Send light from heaven, my Lord, that I might be able to
enlighten these Your servants — for You have been pleased that
some of them ordinarily enjoy these delights — so that they may
not be deceived by the devil transforming himself into an angel
of light.1 For all their desires are directed toward pleasing You.
2. And although I have said "some," there are indeed only a
few who fail to enter this dwelling place of which I shall now
speak. There are various degrees, and for that reason I say that
most enter these places. But I believe that only a few will ex-
perience some of the things that I will say are in this room. Yet
even if souls do no more than reach the door, God is being very
merciful to them; although many are called few are chosen.2
So I say now that all of us who wear this holy habit of Carmel
are called to prayer and contemplation. This call explains our
origin; we are the descendants of men who felt this call, of
335
336
St. Teresa of A vila
those holy fathers on Mount Carmel who in such great solitude
and contempt for the world sought this treasure, this precious
pearl of contemplation that we are speaking about. Yet few of
us dispose ourselves that the Lord may communicate it to us.
In exterior matters we are proceeding well so that we will reach
what is necessary; but in the practice of the virtues that are
necessary for arriving at this point we need very, very much
and cannot be careless in either small things or great. So, my
Sisters, since in some way we can enjoy heaven on earth, be
brave in begging the Lord to give us His grace in such a way
that nothing will be lacking through our own fault; that He
show us the way and strengthen the soul that it may dig until it
finds this hidden treasure.3 The truth is that the treasure lies
within our very selves. This is what I would like to know how to
explain, if the Lord would enable me to do so.
3. I said "strengthen the soul" so that you will understand
that bodily strength is not necessary for those to whom God
does not give it. He doesn't make it impossible for anyone to
buy His riches. He is content if each one gives what he has.
Blessed be so great a God. But reflect, daughters, that He
doesn't want you to hold on to anything, so that you will be
able to enjoy the favors we are speaking of. Whether you have
little or much, He wants everything for Himself; and in
conformity with what you know you have given you will receive
greater or lesser favors. There is no better proof for recognizing
whether our prayer has reached union or not.
4. Don't think this union is some kind of dreamy state like
the one I mentioned before.4 I say "dreamy state" because it
only seems that the soul is asleep; for neither does it really think
it is asleep nor does it feel awake. There is no need here to use
any technique to suspend the mind since all the faculties are
asleep in this state — and truly asleep — to the things of the
world and to ourselves. As a matter of fact, during the time
that the union lasts the soul is left as though without its senses,
for it has no power to think even if it wants to. In loving, if it
does love, it doesn't understand how or what it is it loves or
what it would want. In sum, it is like one who in every respect
has died to the world so as to live more completely in God.
The Interior Castle - V:l
337
Thus the death is a delightful one, an uprooting from the soul
of all the operations it can have while being in the body. The
death is a delightful one because in truth it seems that in order
to dwell more perfectly in God the soul is so separated from the
body that I don't even know if it has life enough to breathe. (I
was just now thinking about this, and it seems to me that it
doesn't — at least if it does breathe, it is unaware it is doing so.)
Nonetheless, its whole intellect would want to be occupied in
understanding something of what is felt. And since the soul
does not have the energy to attain to this, it is so stunned that,
even if consciousness is not completely lost, neither a hand nor
a foot stirs, as we say here below when a person is in such a
swoon that we think he is dead.
O secrets of God! I would never tire of trying to explain them
if I thought I could in some way manage to do so; thus I will say
a thousand foolish things in order that I might at times succeed
and that we might give great praise to the Lord.
5. I said that this union was not some kind of dreamy state,5
because even if the experience in the dwelling place that was just
mentioned is abundant the soul remains doubtful that it was
union. It doubts whether it imagined the experience; whether it
was asleep; whether the experience was given by God; or
whether the devil transformed himself into an angel of light.6 It
is left with a thousand suspicions. That it has them is good, for,
as I have said,7 even our own nature can sometimes deceive us in
that dwelling place. Though there is not so much room for
poisonous things to enter, some tiny lizards do enter; since these
lizards have slender heads they can poke their heads in
anywhere. And even though they do no harm, especially if one
pays no attention to them, as I said,8 they are often a bother
since they are little thoughts proceeding from the imagination
and from what I mentioned. But however slender they may be,
these little lizards cannot enter this fifth dwelling place; for there
is neither imagination, nor memory, nor intellect that can im-
pede this good. And I would dare say that if the prayer is truly
that of union with God the devil cannot even enter or do any
damage. His Majesty is so joined and united with the essence of
the soul that the devil will not dare approach nor will he even
338
St. Teresa of Avila
know about this secret. And this is obvious. Since as they say,
he doesn't know our mind, he will have less knowledge of
something so secret; for God doesn't even entrust this to our
own mind. Oh what a great good, a state in which this accurs-
ed one does us no harm! Thus the soul is left with such wonder-
ful blessings because God works within it without anyone
disturbing Him, not even ourselves. What will He not give,
who is so fond of giving and who can give all that He wants?
6. It seems I have left you confused by saying "if it is union"
and that there are other unions. And indeed how true it is that
there are! Even though these unions regard vain things, the
devil will use such things to transport us when they are greatly
loved. But he doesn't do so in the way God does, or with the
delight and satisfaction of soul, or with the peace and joy. This
union is above all earthly joys, above all delights, above all con-
solations, and still more than that. It doesn't matter where
those spiritual or earthly joys come from, for the feeling is very
different as you will have experienced. I once said9 that the dif-
ference is like that between feeling something on the rough
outer covering of the body or in the marrow of the bones. And
that was right on the mark, for I don't know how to say it
better.
7. It seems to me that you're still not satisfied, for you will
think you can be mistaken and that these interior things are
something difficult to examine. What was said will be suffi-
cient for anyone who has experienced union. Yet, because the
difference between union and the previous experience is great,
I want to mention a clear sign by which you will be sure against
error or doubts about whether the union is from God. His Maj-
esty has brought it to my memory today, and in my opinion it is
the sure sign. In difficult matters even though it seems to me I
understand and that I speak the truth I always use this expres-
sion "it seems to me." For if I am mistaken, I am very much
prepared to believe what those who have a great deal of learn-
ing say. Even though they have not experienced these things,
very learned men have a certain "I don't know what"; for since
God destines them to give light to His Church, He enlightens
them that they might acknowledge a truth when presented
The Interior Castle ~ V:l
339
with it. And if they do not live a dissipated life but are God's
servants, they are never surprised by His grandeurs; they have
come to understand well that He can do ever more and more.
And, finally, even though some things are not so well ex-
plained, these learned men will find other things in their books
that will show that these things could take place.
8. I have had a great deal of experience with learned men,
and have also had experience with half-learned, fearful ones;
these latter cost me dearly.10 At least I think that anyone who
refuses to believe that God can do much more or that He has
considered and continues to consider it good sometimes to
communicate favors to His creatures, has indeed closed the
door to receiving them. Therefore, Sisters, let this never hap-
pen to you, but believe that God can do far more and don't
turn your attention to whether the ones to whom He grants His
favors are good or bad; for His Majesty knows this, as I have
told you.11 There is no reason for us to meddle in the matter,
but with humility and simplicity of heart we should serve and
praise Him for His works and marvels.
9. Well then, to return to the sign that I say is the true
one,12 you now see that God has made this soul a fool with
regard to all so as better to impress upon it true wisdom. For
during the time of this union it neither sees, nor hears, nor
understands, because the union is always short and seems to
the soul even much shorter than it probably is. God so places
Himself in the interior of that soul that when it returns to itself
it can in no way doubt that it was in God and God was in it.
This truth remains with it so firmly that even though years go
by without God's granting that favor again, the soul can
neither forget nor doubt that it was in God and God was in it.
This certitude is what matters now, for I shall speak of the ef-
fects of this prayer afterward.13
10. Now, you will ask me, how did the soul see this truth or
understand if it didn't see or understand anything? I don't say
that it then saw the truth but that afterward it sees the truth
clearly, not because of a vision but because of a certitude re-
maining in the soul that only God can place there. I know a
person who hadn't learned that God was in all things by
340
St. Teresa of Avila
presence, power, and essence, and through a favor of this kind
that God granted her she came to believe it. After asking a
half-learned man of the kind I mentioned14 — he knew as little
as she had known before God enlightened her she was told
that God was present only by grace. Such was her own convic-
tion that even after this she didn't believe him and asked others
who told her the truth, with which she was greatly consoled.15
1 1 . Don't be mistaken by thinking that this certitude has to
do with a corporal form, as in the case of the bodily presence of
our Lord Jesus Christ in the Most Blessed Sacrament even
though we do not see Him. Here the matter isn't like that; it
concerns only the divinity. How, then, is it that what we do not
see leaves this certitude? I don't know; these are His works. But
I do know I speak the truth. And I would say that whoever does
not receive this certitude does not experience union of the
whole soul with God, but union of some faculty, or that he ex-
periences one of the many other kinds of favors God grants
souls. In regard to all these favors we have to give up looking
for reasons to see how they've come about. Since our intellect
cannot understand this union why do we have to make this ef-
fort? It's enough for us to see that He who is the cause of it is
almighty. Since we have no part at all to play in bringing it
about no matter how much effort we put forth, but it is God
who does so, let us not desire the capacity to understand this
union.
12. Now I recall, in saying that we have no part to play,
what you have heard the bride say in the Song of Songs: He
brought me into the wine cellar (or, placed me there, I believe
it says).16 And it doesn't say that she went. And it says also that
she went looking about in every part of the city for her
Beloved.17 I understand this union to be the wine cellar where
the Lord wishes to place us when He desires and as He desires.
But however great the effort we make to do so, we cannot
enter. His Majesty must place us there and enter Himself into
the center of our soul. And that He may show His marvels more
clearly He doesn't want our will to have any part to play, for it
has been entirely surrendered to Him. Neither does He want
the door of the faculties and of the senses to be opened, for
The Interior Castle - V:2
341
they are all asleep. But He wants to enter the center of the soul
without going through any door, as He entered the place where
His disciples were when He said, pax vobis;^8 or as He left the
tomb without lifting away the stone. Further on you will see in
the last dwelling place1 9 how His Majesty desires that the soul
enjoy Him in its own center even much more than here.
13. O daughters, how much we shall see if we don't want to
have anything more to do with our own lowliness and misery
and if we understand that we are unworthy of being servants of
a Lord who is so great we cannot comprehend His wonders!
May He be forever praised, amen.
Chapter 2
Continues on the same topic. Explains the prayer of union
through an exquisite comparison. Tells about the effects it
leaves in the soul. The chapter is very important.
IT WILL SEEM TO YOU that everything has already been
said about what there is to see in this dwelling place. Yet a
lot is missing; for, as I said,1 there are various degrees of inten-
sity. With regard to the nature of union, I don't believe I'd
know how to say anything more. But when souls to whom God
grants these favors prepare themselves, there are many things
to say about the Lord's work in them. I shall speak of some of
these and tell about the state the soul is left in. To explain
things better I want to use a helpful comparison; it is good for
making us see how, even though we can do nothing in this work
done by the Lord, we can do much by disposing ourselves so
that His Majesty may grant us this favor.
2. You must have already heard about His marvels
manifested in the way silk originates, for only He could have
invented something like that. The silkworms come from seeds
about the size of little grains of pepper. (I have never seen this
but heard of it, and so if something in the explanation gets
distorted it won't be my fault.) When the warm weather comes
342
St. Teresa of Avila
and the leaves begin to appear on the mulberry tree, the seeds
start to live, for they are dead until then. The worms nourish
themselves on mulberry leaves until, having grown to full size,
they settle on some twigs. There with their little mouths they
themselves go about spinning the silk and making some very
thick little cocoons in which they enclose themselves. The
silkworm, which is fat and ugly, then dies, and a little white
butterfly, which is very pretty, comes forth from the cocoon.
Now if this were not seen but recounted to us as having hap-
pened in other times, who would believe it? Or what reasonings
could make us conclude that a thing as nonrational as a worm
or a bee could be so diligent in working for our benefit and
with so much industriousness? And the poor little worm loses its
life in the challenge. This is enough, Sisters, for a period of
meditation even though I may say no more to you; in it you can
consider the wonders and the wisdom of our God. Well now,
what would happen if we knew the property of every created
thing. It is very beneficial for us to busy ourselves thinking of
these grandeurs and delighting in being brides of a King so
wise and powerful.
3. Let's return to what I was saying. This silkworm, then,
starts to live when by the heat of the Holy Spirit it begins to
benefit through the general help given to us all by God and
through the remedies left by Him to His Church, by going to
confession, reading good books, and hearing sermons, which
are the remedies that a soul, dead in its carelessness and sins
and placed in the midst of occasions, can make use of. It then
begins to live and to sustain itself by these things, and by good
meditations, until it is grown. Its being grown is what is rele-
vant to what I'm saying, for these other things have little im-
portance here.
4. Well once this silkworm is grown — in the beginning I
dealt with its growth2 — it begins to spin the silk and build the
house wherein it will die. I would like to point out here that this
house is Christ. Somewhere, it seems to me, I have read or
heard that our life is hidden in Christ or in God (both are the
same), or that our life is Christ.3 Whether the quotation is ex-
act or not doesn't matter for what I intend.
The Interior Castle - V:2
343
5. Well see here, daughters, what we can do through the
help of God: His Majesty Himself, as He does in this prayer of
union, becomes the dwelling place we build for ourselves. It
seems I'm saying that we can build up God and take Him away
since I say that He is the dwelling place and we ourselves can
build it so as to place ourselves in it. And, indeed, we can! Not
that we can take God away or build Him up, but we can take
away from ourselves and build up, as do these little silkworms.
For we will not have finished doing all that we can in this work
when, to the little we do, which is nothing, God will unite
Himself, with His greatness, and give it such high value that
the Lord Himself will become the reward of this work. Thus,
since it was He who paid the highest price, His Majesty wants
to join our little labors with the great ones He suffered so that
all the work may become one.
6. Therefore, courage, my daughters! Let's be quick to do
this work and weave this little cocoon by getting rid of our self-
love and self-will, our attachment to any earthly thing, and by
performing deeds of penance, prayer, mortification, obe-
dience, and of all the other things you know. Would to heaven
that we would do what we know we must; and we are in-
structed about what we must do. Let it die; let this silkworm
die, as it does in completing what it was created to do! And you
will see how we see God, as well as ourselves placed inside His
greatness, as is this little silkworm within its cocoon. Keep in
mind that I say "see God," in the sense of what I mentioned4
concerning that which is felt in this kind of union.
7. Now, then, let's see what this silkworm does, for that's the
reason I've said everything else. When the soul is, in this
prayer, truly dead to the world, a little white butterfly comes
forth. Oh, greatness of God! How transformed the soul is when
it comes out of this prayer after having been placed within the
greatness of God and so closely joined with Him for a little
while — in my opinion the union never lasts for as much as a
half hour. Truly, I tell you that the soul doesn't recognize
itself. Look at the difference there is between an ugly worm
and a little white butterfly; that's what the difference is here.
The soul doesn't know how it could have merited so much
344
St. Teresa of A vtla
good — from where this good may have come I mean, for it well
knows that it doesn't merit this blessing. It sees within itself a
desire to praise the Lord; it would want to dissolve and die a
thousand deaths for Him. It soon begins to experience a desire
to suffer great trials without its being able to do otherwise.
There are the strongest desires for penance, for solitude, and
that all might know God; and great pain comes to it when it
sees that He is offended. I shall treat of these things more par-
ticularly in the next dwelling place5; although what is in this
dwelling place and the next are almost identical, the force of
the effects is very different. As I have said,6 if after God brings
a soul here it makes the effort to advance, it will see great
things.
8. Oh, now, to see the restlessness of this little butterfly,
even though it has never been quieter and calmer in its life, is
something to praise God for! And the difficulty is that it doesn't
know where to alight and rest. Since it has experienced such
wonderful rest, all that it sees on earth displeases it, especially
if God gives it this wine often. Almost each time it gains new
treasures. It no longer has any esteem for the works it did while
a worm, which was to weave the cocoon little by little; it now
has wings. How can it be happy walking step by step when it
can fly? On account of its desires, everything it can do for God
becomes little in its own eyes. It doesn't wonder as much at
what the saints suffered now that it understands through ex-
perience how the Lord helps and transforms a soul, for it
doesn't recognize itself or its image. The weakness it previously
seemed to have with regard to doing penance it now finds is its
strength. Its attachment to relatives or friends or wealth (for
neither its actions, nor its determination, nor its desire to
withdraw were enough; rather, in its opinion, it was more at-
tached to everything) is now so looked upon that it grieves
when obliged to do what is necessary in this regard so as not to
offend God. Everything wearies it, for it has learned through
experience that creatures cannot give it true rest.
9. It seems I have been lengthy, but I could say much more;
and whoever has received this favor from God will see that I've
been brief. So, there is no reason to be surprised that this little
The Interior Castle - V:2
345
butterfly seeks rest again since it feels estranged from earthly
things. Well then, where will the poor little thing go? It can't
return to where it came from; as was said,7 we are powerless,
however much we do, to bring about this favor until God is
again pleased to grant it. O Lord, what new trials begin for this
soul! Who would say such a thing after a favor so sublime?
Briefly, in one way or another, there must be a cross while we
live. And with respect to anyone who says that after he arrived
here he always enjoyed rest and delight I would say that he
never arrived but that perhaps he had experienced some
spiritual delight — if he had entered into the previous dwelling
place — and his experience had been helped along by natural
weakness or perhaps even by the devil who gives him peace so
as afterward to wage much greater war against him.
10. I don't mean to say that those who arrive here do not
have peace; they do have it, and it is very deep. For the trials
themselves are so valuable and have such good roots that
although very severe they give rise to peace and happiness.
From the very unhappiness caused by worldly things arises the
ever so painful desire to leave this world. Any relief the soul has
comes from the thought that God wants it to be living in this
exile; yet even this is not enough, because in spite of all these
benefits it is not entirely surrendered to God's will, as will be
seen further on8 — although it doesn't fail to conform itself. But
it conforms with a great feeling that it can do no more because
no more has been given it, and with many tears. Every time it is
in prayer this regret is its pain. In some way perhaps the sorrow
proceeds from the deep pain it feels at seeing that God is of-
fended and little esteemed in this world and that many souls
are lost, heretics as well as Moors; although those that grieve it
most are Christians. Even though it sees that God's mercy is
great — for, however wicked their lives, these Christians can
make amends and be saved — it fears that many are being
condemned.
11. Oh, greatness of God! A few years ago — and even
perhaps days — this soul wasn't mindful of anything but itself.
Who has placed it in the midst of such painful concerns? Even
were we to meditate for many years we wouldn't be able to feel
346
St. Teresa of Avila
them as painfully as does this soul now. Well, God help me,
wouldn't it be enough if for many days and years I strove to
think about the tremendous evil of an offense against God and
that those souls who are condemned are His children and my
brothers and about the dangers in which we live and how good
it is for us to leave this miserable life? Not at all, daughters; the
grief that is felt here is not like that of this world. We can, with
God's favor, feel the grief that comes from thinking about these
things a great deal, but such grief doesn't reach the intimate
depths of our being as does the pain suffered in this state, for it
seems that the pain breaks and grinds the soul into pieces,
without the soul's striving for it or even at times wanting it.
Well, what is this pain? Where does it come from? I shall tell
you.
12. Haven't you heard it said of the bride — for I have
already mentioned it elsewhere here but not in this
sense9 — that God brought her into the inner wine cellar and
put charity in order within her?10 Well, that is what I mean.
Since that soul now surrenders itself into His hands and its
great love makes it so surrendered that it neither knows nor
wants anything more than what He wants with her (for God
will never, in my judgment, grant this favor save to a soul that
He takes for His own), He desires that, without its under-
standing how, it may go forth from this union impressed with
His seal. For indeed the soul does no more in this union than
does the wax when another impresses a seal on it. The wax
doesn't impress the seal upon itself; it is only disposed — I mean
by being soft. And even in order to be disposed, it doesn't
soften itself but remains still and gives its consent. Oh,
goodness of God; everything must be at a cost to You! All You
want is our will and that there be no impediment in the wax.
13. Well now, you see here, Sisters, what our God does in
this union so that this soul may recognize itself as His own. He
gives from what He has, which is what His Son had in this life.
He cannot grant us a higher favor. Who could have had a
greater desire to leave this life? And so His Majesty said at the
Last Supper: / have earnestly desired.^
Well then, how is it, Lord, that You weren't thinking of the
The Interior Castle - V:2
347
laborious death You were about to suffer, so painful and
frightful? You answer: "No, my great love and the desire I have
that souls be saved are incomparably more important than
these sufferings; and the very greatest sorrows that I have suf-
fered and do suffer, after being in the world, are not enough to
be considered anything at all in comparison with this love and
desire to save souls."
14. This is true, for I have often reflected on the matter. I
know the torment a certain soul of my acquaintance1 2 suffers
and has suffered at seeing our Lord offended. The pain is so
unbearable that she desires to die much more than to suffer it.
If a soul with so little charity when compared to Christ's — for
its charity could then be considered almost nonexistent — felt
this torment to be so unbearable, what must have been the
feeling of our Lord Jesus Christ? And what kind of life must He
have suffered since all things were present to Him and He was
always witnessing the serious offenses committed against His
Father? I believe without a doubt that these sufferings were
much greater than were those of His most sacred Passion. At
the time of His Passion He already saw an end to these trials
and with this awareness as well as the happiness of seeing a
remedy for us in His death and of showing us the love He had
for His Father in suffering so much for Him, His sorrows were
tempered. These sorrows are also tempered here below by
those who with the strength that comes from love perform
great penances, for they almost don't feel them; rather they
would want to do more and more — and everything they do
seems little to them. Well, what must it have been for His Maj-
esty to find Himself with so excellent an occasion for showing
His Father how completely obedient He was to Him, and with
love for His neighbor? Oh, great delight, to suffer in doing the
will of God! But I consider it so difficult to see the many of-
fenses committed so continually against His Majesty and the
many souls going to hell that I believe only one day of that pain
would have been sufficient to end many lives; how much more
one life, if He had been no more than man.
348
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 3
Continues on the same subject. Tells about another kind of
union the soul can reach with God's help and of how important
love of neighbor is for this union. The chapter is very useful.
WELL NOW LET US get back to our little dove1 and see
something about what God gives it in this state. It must
always be understood that one has to strive to go forward in the
service of our Lord and in self-knowledge. For if a person does
no more than receive this favor and if, as though already
securely in possession of something, she grows careless in her
life and turns aside from the heavenly path, which consists of
keeping the commandments, that which happens to the
silkworm will happen to her. For it gives forth the seed that
produces other silkworms, and itself dies forever. I say that it
"gives forth the seed" because I hold that it is God's desire that
a favor so great not be given in vain; if a person doesn't herself
benefit, the favor will benefit others. For since the soul is left
with these desires and virtues that were mentioned, it always
brings profit to other souls during the time that it continues to
live virtuously; and they catch fire from its fire. And even when
the soul has itself lost this fire, the inclination to benefit others
will remain, and the soul delights in explaining the favors God
grants to whoever loves and serves Him.
2. I know a person to whom this happened.2 Although she
had gone far astray, she enjoyed helping others through the
favors God had granted her and showing the way of prayer to
those who didn't understand it; and she did a great deal of
good. Afterward the Lord again gave her light. It's true that
she still hadn't experienced the effects that were mentioned;
but how many there must be, like Judas, whom the Lord calls
to the apostolate by communing with them, and like Saul,
whom He calls to be kings, who afterward through their own
fault go astray! Thus we can conclude, Sisters, that, in order to
merit more and more and avoid getting lost like such persons,
our security lies in obedience and refusal to deviate from God's
The Interior Castle - V:3
349
law. I'm speaking to those to whom He has granted similar
favors, and even to everyone.
3. It seems to me that despite all I've said about this dwell-
ing place, the matter is still somewhat obscure. Since so much
gain comes from entering this place, it will be good to avoid
giving the impression that those to whom the Lord doesn't give
things that are so supernatural are left without hope. True
union can very well be reached, with God's help, if we make
the effort to obtain it by keeping our wills fixed only on that
which is God's will. Oh, how many of us there are who will say
we do this, and it will seem to us that we don't want anything
else and that we would die for this truth, as I believe I have
said!3 Well I tell you, and I will often repeat it, that if what you
say is true you will have obtained this favor from the Lord, and
you needn't care at all about the other delightful union that
was mentioned. That which is most valuable in the delightful
union is that it proceeds from this union of which I'm now
speaking; and one cannot arrive at the delightful union if the
union coming from being resigned to God's will is not very cer-
tain. Oh, how desirable is this union with God's will! Happy the
soul that has reached it. Such a soul will live tranquilly in this
life, and in the next as well. Nothing in earthly events afflicts it
unless it finds itself in some danger of losing God or sees that
He is offended: neither sickness, nor poverty, nor death
— unless the death is of someone who will be missed by God's
Church — for this soul sees well that the Lord knows what He is
doing better than it knows what it is desiring.
4. You must note that there are different kinds of sufferings.
Some sufferings are produced suddenly by our human nature,
and the same goes for consolations, and even by the charity of
compassion for one's neighbor, as our Lord experienced when
He raised Lazarus.4 Being united with God's will doesn't take
these experiences away, nor do they disturb the soul with a
restless, disquieting passion that lasts a long while. These suffer-
ings pass quickly. As I have said concerning consolations in
prayer,5 it seems they do not reach the soul's depth but only the
senses and faculties. They are found in the previous dwelling
places; but they do not enter the last ones still to be explained,
350
St. Teresa of A vila
since the suspension of the faculties is necessary in order to reach
these, as has been said.6 The Lord has the power to enrich souls
through many paths and bring them to these dwelling places,
without using the short cut that was mentioned.
5. Nonetheless, take careful note, daughters, that it is
necessary for the silkworm to die, and, moreover, at a cost to
yourselves. In the delightful union,7 the experience of seeing
oneself in so new a life greatly helps one to die; in the other
union,8 it's necessary that, while living in this life, we ourselves
put the silkworm to death. I confess this latter death will re-
quire a great deal of effort, or more than that; but it has its
value. Thus if you come out victorious the reward will be much
greater. But there is no reason to doubt the possibility of this
death any more than that of true union with the will of God.
This union with God's will is the union I have desired all my
life; it is the union I ask the Lord for always and the one that is
clearest and safest.
6. But alas for us, how few there must be who reach it;
although whoever guards himself against offending the Lord
and has entered religious life thinks he has done everything!
Oh, but there remain some worms, unrecognized until, like
those in the story of Jonah that gnawed away the ivy,9 they have
gnawed away the virtues. This happens through self-love, self-
esteem, judging one's neighbors (even though in little things), a
lack of charity for them, and not loving them as ourselves. For
even though, while crawling along, we fulfill our obligation
and no sin is committed, we don't advance very far in what is
required for complete union with the will of God.
7. What do you think His will is, daughters? That we be
completely perfect. See what we lack to be one with Him and
His Father as His Majesty asked.10 I tell you I am writing this
with much pain upon seeing myself so far away — and all
through my own fault. The Lord doesn't have to grant us great
delights for this union; sufficient is what He has given us in His
Son, who would teach us the way. Don't think the matter lies in
my being so conformed to the will of God that if my father or
brother dies I don't feel it, or that if there are trials or
sicknesses I suffer them happily. Such an attitude is good, and
The Interior Castle - V:3
351
sometimes it's a matter of discretion because we can't do other-
wise, and we make a virtue of necessity. How many things like
these the philosophers did, or even, though not like these,
other things, such as acquiring much learning. Here in our
religious life the Lord asks of us only two things: love of His
Majesty and love of our neighbor. These are what we must
work for. By observing them with perfection, we do His will
and so will be united with Him. But how far, as I have said, we
are from doing these two things for so great a God as we ought!
May it please His Majesty to give us His grace so that we might
merit, if we want, to reach this state that lies within our power.
8. The most certain sign, in my opinion, as to whether or
not we are observing these two laws is whether we observe well
the love of neighbor. We cannot know whether or not we love
God, although there are strong indications for recognizing that
we do love Him; but we can know whether we love our
neighbor.1 1 And be certain that the more advanced you see you
are in love for your neighbor the more advanced you will be in
the love of God, for the love His Majesty has for us is so great
that to repay us for our love of neighbor He will in a thousand
ways increase the love we have for Him. I cannot doubt this.
9. It's important for us to walk with careful attention to how
we are proceeding in this matter, for if we practice love of
neighbor with great perfection, we will have done everything. I
believe that, since our nature is bad, we will not reach perfec-
tion in the love of neighbor if that love doesn't rise from love of
God as its root. Since this is so important to us, Sisters, let's try
to understand ourselves even in little things, and pay no atten-
tion to any big plans that sometimes suddenly come to us dur-
ing prayer in which it seems we will do wonders for our
neighbor and even for just one soul so that it may be saved. If
afterward our deeds are not in conformity with those plans,
there will be no reason to believe that we will accomplish the
plans. I say the same about humility and all the virtues. Great
are the wiles of the devil; to make us think we have one vir-
tue—when we don't — he would circle hell a thousand times.
And he is right because such a notion is very harmful, for these
feigned virtues never come without some vainglory since they
352
St. Teresa of Avila
rise from that source; just as virtues from God are free of it as
well as of pride.
10. I am amused sometimes to see certain souls who think
when they are at prayer that they would like to be humiliated
and publicly insulted for God, and afterward they would hide a
tiny fault if they could; or, if they have not committed one and
yet are charged with it — God deliver us! Well, let anyone who
can't bear such a thing be careful not to pay attention to what
he has by himself determined — in his opinion — to do. As a
matter of fact the determination was not in the will — for when
there is a true determination of the will it's another mat-
ter—but a work of the imagination; it is in the imagination
that the devil produces his wiles and deceits. And with women
or unlearned people he can produce a great number, for we
don't know how the faculties differ from one another and from
the imagination, nor do we know about a thousand other
things there are in regard to interior matters. Oh, Sisters, how
clearly one sees the degree to which love of neighbor is present
in some of you, and how clearly one sees the deficiency in those
who lack such perfection! If you were to understand how im-
portant this virtue is for us you wouldn't engage in any other
study.
1 1 . When I see souls very earnest in trying to understand the
prayer they have and very sullen when they are in it — for it
seems they don't dare let their minds move or stir lest a bit of
their spiritual delight and devotion be lost — it makes me
realize how little they understand of the way by which union is
attained; they think the whole matter lies in these things. No,
Sisters, absolutely not; works are what the Lord wants! He
desires that if you see a Sister who is sick to whom you can bring
some relief, you have compassion on her and not worry about
losing this devotion; and that if she is suffering pain, you also
feel it; and that, if necessary, you fast so that she might
eat — not so much for her sake as because you know it is your
Lord's desire. This is true union with His will, and if you see a
person praised, the Lord wants you to be much happier than if
you yourself were being praised. This, indeed, is easy, for if you
have humility you will feel sorry to see yourself praised. But this
The Interior Castle - V:3
353
happiness that comes when the virtues of the Sisters are known
is a very good thing; and when we see some fault in them, it is
also a very good thing to be sorry and hide the fault as though
it were our own.
12. I have said a lot on this subject elsewhere,12 because I
see, Sisters, that if we fail in love of neighbor we are lost. May it
please the Lord that this will never be so; for if you do not fail,
I tell you that you shall receive from His Majesty the union that
was mentioned. When you see yourselves lacking in this love,
even though you have devotion and gratifying experiences that
make you think you have reached this stage, and you ex-
perience some little suspension in the prayer of quiet (for to
some it then appears that everything has been accomplished),
believe me you have not reached union. And beg our Lord to
give you this perfect love of neighbor. Let His Majesty have a
free hand, for He will give you more than you know how to
desire because you are striving and making every effort to do
what you can about this love. And force your will to do the will
of your Sisters in everything even though you may lose your
rights; forget your own good for their sakes no matter how
much resistance your nature puts up; and, when the occasion
arises, strive to accept work yourself so as to relieve your
neighbor of it. Don't think that it won't cost you anything or
that you will find everything done for you. Look at what our
Spouse's love for us cost Him; in order to free us from death,
He died that most painful death of the cross.
354
St. Teresa of A vzla
Chapter 4
Continues with the same subject, explaining further this kind
of prayer. 1 Tells how important it is to walk with care because
the devil himself uses a great deal of care in trying to make one
turn back from what was begun.
IT SEEMS TO ME you have a desire to see what this little
dove is doing and where it rests since as was explained it
rests neither in spiritual delights nor in earthly consolations. Its
flight is higher, and I cannot satisfy your desire until the last
dwelling place. May it please God that I then remember or
have the time to write of this. About five months have passed
since I began,2 and because my head is in no condition to read
over what I've written, everything will have to continue on
without order, and perhaps some things will be said twice. Since
this work is for my Sisters, the disorder won't matter much.
2. Nonetheless, I want to explain more to you about what I
think this prayer of union is. In accordance with my style, I
shall draw a comparison. Later on we'll say more about this lit-
tle butterfly. Although it is always bearing fruit by doing good
for itself and for other souls, it never stops to rest, because it
fails to find its true repose.
3. You've already often heard that God espouses souls
spiritually. Blessed be His mercy that wants so much to be
humbled! And even though the comparison may be a coarse
one I cannot find another that would better explain what I
mean than the sacrament of marriage. This spiritual espousal
is different in kind from marriage, for in these matters that we
are dealing with there is never anything that is not spiritual.
Corporal things are far distant from them, and the spiritual
joys the Lord gives when compared to the delights married
people must experience are a thousand leagues distant. For it is
all a matter of love united with love, and the actions of love are
most pure and so extremely delicate and gentle that there is no
way of explaining them, but the Lord knows how to make them
very clearly felt.
The Interior Castle - V:4
355
4. It seems to me that the prayer of union does not yet reach
the stage of spiritual betrothal. Here below when two people
are to be engaged, there is discussion about whether they are
alike, whether they love each other, and whether they might
meet together so as to become more satisfied with each other.
So, too, in the case of this union with God, the agreement has
been made, and this soul is well informed about the goodness
of her Spouse and determined to do His will in everything and
in as many ways as she sees might make Him happy. And His
Majesty, as one who understands clearly whether these things
about His betrothed are so, is happy with her. As a result He
grants this mercy, for He desired her to know Him more and
that they might meet together, as they say, and be united.3 We
can say that union is like this, for it passes in a very short time.
In it there no longer takes place the exchanging of gifts, but
the soul sees secretly who this Spouse is that she is going to ac-
cept. Through the work of the senses and the faculties she
couldn't in any way or in a thousand years understand what she
understands here in the shortest time. But being who He is, the
Spouse from that meeting alone leaves her more worthy for the
joining of hands, as they say. The soul is left so much in love
that it does for its part all it can to avoid disturbing this divine
betrothal. But if it is careless about placing its affection in
something other than Him, it loses everything. And the loss
is as great as the favors He was granting her, and cannot be
exaggerated.
5. For this reason, I ask Christian souls whom the Lord has
brought to these boundaries that for His sake they not grow
careless but withdraw from occasions. Even in this state the soul is
not so strong that it can place itself in the occasions as it will be
after the betrothal is made. The betrothal belongs to the dwelling
place we shall speak of after this one. This present communica-
tion amounts to no more than a meeting, as they say. And the
devil will go about very carefully in order to fight against and pre-
vent this betrothal. Afterward, since he sees the soul entirely sur-
rendered to the Spouse he doesn't dare do so much, because he
fears it. He has experienced that if sometimes he tries he is left
with a great loss; and the soul, with further gain.
356
St. Teresa of A vila
6. I tell you, daughters, that I have known persons who had
ascended high and had reached this union, who were turned
back and won over by the devil with his deep cunning and
deceit. All hell must join for such a purpose because, as I have
often said,4 in losing one soul of this kind, not only one is lost
but a multitude. The devil already has experience in this mat-
ter. Look at the multitude of souls God draws to Himself by
means of one. He is to be greatly praised for the thousands con-
verted by the martyrs: for a young girl like St. Ursula; for those
the devil must have lost through St. Dominic, St. Francis, and
other founders of religious orders, and those he now loses
through Father Ignatius, the one who founded the Society.
Clearly, all of these received, as we read, similar favors from
God. How would this have come about if they hadn't made the
effort not to lose through their own fault so divine an espousal?
Oh, my daughters, how prepared this Lord is to grant us favors
now just as He has granted them to others in the past. And, in
part, He is even more in need that we desire to receive them,
for there are fewer now who care about His honor than there
were then. We love ourselves very much; there's an extraor-
dinary amount of prudence we use so as not to lose our rights.
Oh, what great deception! May the Lord through His mercy
enlighten us so that we do not fall into similar darknesses.
7. You will ask me or be in doubt concerning two things:
First, if the soul is as ready to do the will of God as was men-
tioned,5 how can it be deceived since it doesn't want to do
anything but His will in all? Second, what are the ways in
which the devil can enter so dangerously that your soul goes
astray? For you are so withdrawn from the world, so close to the
sacraments, and in the company, we could say, of angels, and
through the Lord's goodness you have no other desire than to
serve God and please Him in everything. With those who are
already in the midst of worldly occasions such a turn backward
would not be surprising. I say that you are right about this, for
God has granted us a great deal of mercy. But when I see, as I
have said,6 that Judas was in the company of the Apostles and
conversing always with God Himself and listening to His words,
I understand that there is no security in these things.
The Interior Castle - V:4
357
8. In answer to the first, I say that if this soul were always at-
tached to God's will it is clear that it would not go astray. But
the devil comes along with some skillful deception and, under
the color of good, confuses it with regard to little things and in-
duces it to get taken up with some of them that he makes it
think are good. Then little by little he darkens the intellect,
cools the will's ardor, and makes self-love grow until in one way
or another he withdraws the soul from the will of God and
brings it to his own.
Thus, we have an answer to the second doubt. There is no
enclosure so fenced in that he cannot enter, or desert so
withdrawn that he fails to go there. And I still have something
more to say: perhaps the Lord permits this so as to observe the
behavior of that soul He wishes to set up as a light for others. If
there is going to be a downfall, it's better that it happen in the
beginning rather than later, when it would be harmful to
many.
9. The diligence on our part that comes to my mind as be-
ing the most effective is the following. First, we must always ask
God in prayer to sustain us, and very often think that if He
abandons us we will soon end in the abyss, as is true; and we
must never trust in ourselves since it would be foolish to do so.
Then, we should walk with special care and attention, observ-
ing how we are proceeding in the practice of virtue: whether
we are getting better or worse in some areas, especially in love
for one another, in the desire to be considered the least among
the Sisters, and in the performance of ordinary tasks. For if we
look out for these things and ask the Lord to enlighten us, we
will soon see the gain or the loss. Don't think that a soul that
comes so close to God is allowed to lose Him so quickly, that the
devil has an easy task. His Majesty would regret the loss of this
soul so much that He gives it in many ways a thousand interior
warnings, so that the harm will not be hidden from it.
10. Let this, in sum, be the conclusion: that we strive always
to advance. And if we don't advance, let us walk with great
fear. Without doubt the devil wants to cause some lapse, for it
is not possible that after having come so far, one will fail to
grow. Love is never idle, and a failure to grow would be a very
358
St. Teresa of Avila
bad sign. A soul that has tried to be the betrothed of God
Himself, that is now intimate with His Majesty, and has
reached the boundaries that were mentioned, must not go to
sleep.
That you, daughters, may see what He does with those He
now considers to be His betrothed ones, we shall begin to speak
of the sixth dwelling places. And you will see how little it all is
that we can do to serve and suffer and accomplish so as to
dispose ourselves for such great favors. It could be that our
Lord ordained that they command me to write so that we
might forget our little earthly joys because we will have our eyes
set on the reward and see how immeasurable is His mer-
cy—since He desires to commune with and reveal Himself to
some worms — and because we will have these eyes set also on
His greatness, and thus run along enkindled in His love.
1 1 . May He be pleased that I manage to explain something
about these very difficult things. I know well that this will be
impossible if His Majesty and the Holy Spirit do not move my
pen. And if what I say will not be for your benefit, I beg Him
that I may not succeed in saying anything. His Majesty knows
that I have no other desire, insofar as I can understand myself,
but that His name be praised and that we strive to serve a Lord
who even here on earth pays like this. Through His favors we
can understand something of what He will give us in heaven
without the intervals, trials, and dangers that there are in this
tempestuous sea. If there were no danger of losing or offending
Him, it would be easy to endure life until the end of the world
so as to labor for so great a God and Lord and Spouse.
May it please His Majesty that we may merit to render Him
some service; without as many faults as we always have, even in
good works, amen.
THE SIXTH DWELLING PLACES
Contains Eleven Chapters
Chapter 1
Discusses how greater trials come when the Lord begins to
grant greater favors. Mentions some and how those who are
now in this dwelling place conduct themselves. This chapter is
good for souls undergoing interior trials.
WELL THEN, LET US, with the help of the Holy Spirit,
speak of the sixth dwelling places, where the soul is
now wounded with love for its Spouse and strives for more op-
portunities to be alone and, in conformity with its state, to rid
itself of everything that can be an obstacle to this solitude.
That meeting1 left such an impression that the soul's whole
desire is to enjoy it again. I have already said that in this prayer
nothing is seen in a way that can be called seeing, nor is
anything seen with the imagination. I use the term "meeting"
because of the comparison I made.2 Now the soul is fully deter-
mined to take no other spouse. But the Spouse does not look at
the soul's great desires that the betrothal take place, for He still
wants it to desire this more, and He wants the betrothal to take
place at a cost; it is the greatest of blessings. And although
everything is small when it comes to paying for this exceptional
benefit, I tell you, daughters, that for the soul to endure such
delay it needs to have that token or pledge of betrothal that it
now has. Oh, God help me, what interior and exterior trials
the soul suffers before entering the seventh dwelling place!
359
360
St. Teresa of A vila
2. Indeed, sometimes I reflect and fear that if a soul knew
beforehand, its natural weakness would find it most difficult to
have the determination to suffer and pass through these trials,
no matter what blessings were represented to it — unless it had
arrived at the seventh dwelling place. For once it has arrived
there, the soul fears nothing and is absolutely determined to
overcome every obstacle for God.3 And the reason is that it is
always so closely joined to His Majesty that from this union
comes its fortitude. I believe it will be well to recount some of
those trials that I know one will certainly undergo. Perhaps not
all souls will be led along this path, although I doubt very
much that those persons who sometimes enjoy so truly the
things of heaven will live free of earthly trials that come in one
way or another.
3. Although I hadn't intended to treat of these, I thought
doing so would bring great consolation to some soul going
through them, for it would learn that these trials take place in
souls to whom God grants similar favors; for truly, when one is
suffering the trials, it then seems that everything is lost. I will
not deal with them according to the order in which they hap-
pen, but as they come to mind. And I want to begin with the
smallest trials. There is an outcry by persons a Sister is dealing
with and even by those she does not deal with and who, it seems
to her, would never even think of her; gossip like the following:
"she's trying to make out she's a saint; she goes to extremes to
deceive the world and bring others to ruin; there are other bet-
ter Christians who don't put on all this outward show." (And
it's worth noting that she is not putting on any outward show
but just striving to fulfill well her state in life.) Those she con-
sidered her friends turn away from her, and they are the ones
who take the largest and most painful bite at her: "that soul
has gone astray and is clearly mistaken; these are things of the
devil; she will turn out like this person or that other that went
astray, and will bring about a decline in virtue; she has
deceived her confessors" (and they go to these confessors, tell-
ing them so, giving them examples of what happened to some
that were lost in this way); a thousand kinds of ridicule and
statements like the above.
The Interior Castle - VI: 1
361
4. I know a person who had great fear that there would be
no one who would hear her confession because of such
gossip4 — so much gossip that there's no reason to go into it all
here. And what is worse these things do not pass quickly, but
go on throughout the person's whole life including the advice
to others to avoid any dealings with such persons.
You will tell me that there are also those who will speak well
of that soul. Oh, daughters, how few there are who believe in
such favors in comparison with the many who abhor them!
Moreover, praise is just another trial greater than those men-
tioned! Since the soul sees clearly that if it has anything good
this is given by God and is by no means its own — for just
previously it saw itself to be very poor and surrounded by great
sins — praise is an intolerable burden to it, at least in the begin-
ning. Later on, for certain reasons, praise is not so intolerable.
First, because experience makes the soul see clearly that people
are as quick to say good things as bad, and so it pays no more
attention to the good things than to the bad. Second, because
it has been more enlightened by the Lord that no good thing
comes from itself but is given by His Majesty; and it turns to
praise God, forgetful that it has had any part to play, just as if
it had seen the gift in another person. Third, if it sees that
some souls have benefited from seeing the favors God grants it,
it thinks that His Majesty used this means, of its being falsely
esteemed as good, so that some blessings might come to those
souls. Fourth, since it looks after the honor and glory of God
more than its own, the temptation, which came in the begin-
ning, that these praises will destroy it, is removed; little does
dishonor matter to it if in exchange God might perhaps
thereby just once be praised — afterward, let whatever comes
come.
5. These reasons and others mitigate the great pain these
praises cause; although some pain is almost always felt, except
when one is paying hardly any attention. But it is an incom-
parably greater trial to see oneself publicly considered as good
without reason than the trials mentioned. And when the soul
reaches the stage at which it pays little attention to praise, it
pays much less to disapproval; on the contrary, it rejoices in
362
St. Teresa of Avila
this and finds it a very sweet music. This is an amazing truth.
Blame does not intimidate the soul but strengthens it. Ex-
perience has already taught it the wonderful gain that comes
through this path. It feels that those who persecute it do not of-
fend God; rather that His Majesty permits persecution for the
benefit of the soul. And since it clearly experiences the benefits
of persecution, it acquires a special and very tender love for its
persecutors. It seems to it that they are greater friends and
more advantageous than those who speak well of it.
6. The Lord is wont also to send it the severest illnesses. This
is a much greater trial, especially when the pains are acute. For
in some way, if these pains are severe, the trial is, it seems to
me, the greatest on earth — I mean the greatest exterior trial,
however many the other pains. I say "if the pains are severe,"
because they then afflict the soul interiorly and exteriorly in
such a way that it doesn't know what to do with itself. It would
willingly accept at once any martyrdom rather than these
sharp pains; although they do not last long in this extreme
form. After all, God gives no more than what can be endured;
and His Majesty gives patience first. But other great sufferings
and illnesses of many kinds are the usual thing.
7. I know a person who cannot truthfully say that from the
time the Lord began forty years ago to grant the favor that was
mentioned she spent even one day without pains and other
kinds of suffering (from lack of bodily health, I mean) and
other great trials.5 It's true that she had been very wretched
and that everything seemed small to her in comparison with
the hell she deserved. Others, who have not offended our Lord
so much, will be led by another path. But I would always
choose the path of suffering, if only to imitate our Lord Jesus
Christ if there were no other gain; especially, since there are
always so many other benefits.
Oh, were we to treat of interior sufferings these others would
seem small if the interior ones could be clearly explained; but it
is impossible to explain the way in which they come to pass.
8. Let us begin with the torment one meets with from a con-
fessor who is so discreet and has so little experience that there is
The Interior Castle - VI: 1
363
nothing he is sure of: he fears everything and finds in
everything something to doubt because he sees these unusual
experiences. He becomes especially doubtful if he notices some
imperfection in a soul that has them, for it seems to such con-
fessors that the ones to whom God grants these favors must be
angels — but that is impossible as long as they are in this body.
Everything is immediately condemned as from the devil or
melancholy. And the world is so full of this melancholy that I
am not surprised. There is so much of it now in the world, and
the devil causes so many evils through this means, that con-
fessors are very right in fearing it and considering it carefully.
But the poor soul that walks with the same fear and goes to its
confessor as to its judge, and is condemned by him, cannot
help but be deeply tormented and disturbed. Only the one who
has passed through this will understand what a great torment it
is. For this is another one of the terrible trials these souls suffer,
especially if they have lived wretched lives; thinking that
because of their sins God will allow them to be deceived. Even
though they feel secure and cannot believe that the favor when
granted by His Majesty, is from any other spirit than from
God, the torment returns immediately since the favor is
something that passes quickly, and the remembrance of sins is
always present, and the soul sees faults in itself, which are
never lacking. When the confessor assures it, the soul grows
calm, although the disturbance will return. But when the con-
fessor contributes to the torment with more fear, the trial
becomes something almost unbearable — especially when some
dryness comes between the times of these favors. It then seems
to the soul that it has never been mindful of God and never will
be; and when it hears His Majesty spoken of, it seems to it as
though it were hearing about a person far away.
9. All this would amount to nothing if it were not for the
fact that in addition comes the feeling that it is incapable of ex-
plaining things to its confessors, that it has deceived them. And
even though it thinks and sees that it tells its confessors about
every stirring, even the first ones, this doesn't help. The soul's
understanding is so darkened that it becomes incapable of see-
ing the truth and believes whatever the imagination represents
364
St. Teresa of Avila
to it (for the imagination is then its master) or whatever foolish
things the devil wants to represent. The Lord, it seems, gives
the devil license so that the soul might be tried and even be
made to think it is rejected by God. Many are the things that
war against it with an interior oppression so keen and
unbearable that I don't know what to compare this experience
to if not to the oppression of those that suffer in hell, for no
consolation is allowed in the midst of this tempest. If they
desire to be consoled by their confessor, it seems the devils
assist him to torment it more. Thus, when a confessor was deal-
ing with a person after she had suffered this torment (for it
seems a dangerous affliction since there are so many things in-
volved in it), he told her to let him know when she was in this
state; but the torment was always so bad that he came to realize
there was nothing he could do about it.6 Well then, if a person
in this state who knows how to read well takes up a book in the
vernacular, he will find that he understands no more of it than
if he didn't know how to read even one of the letters, for the in-
tellect is incapable of understanding.7
10. In sum, there is no remedy in this tempest but to wait
for the mercy of God. For at an unexpected time, with one
word alone or a chance happening, He so quickly calms the
storm that it seems there had not been even as much as a cloud
in that soul, and it remains filled with sunlight and much more
consolation. And like one who has escaped from a dangerous
battle and been victorious, it comes out praising our Lord; for
it was He who fought for the victory. It knows very clearly that
it did not fight, for all the weapons with which it could have
defended itself are seen to be, it seems, in the hands of its
enemies. Thus, it knows clearly its wretchedness and the very
little we of ourselves can do if the Lord abandons us.
11. It seems the soul has no longer any need of reflection to
understand this, for the experience of having suffered through
it, having seen itself totally incapacitated, made it understand
our nothingness and what miserable things we are. For in this
state grace is so hidden (even though the soul must not be
without grace since with all this torment it doesn't offend God
nor would it offend Him for anything on earth) that not even a
The Interior Castle - VI: 1
365
very tiny spark is visible. The soul doesn't think that it has any
love of God or that it ever had any, for if it has done some
good, or His Majesty has granted it some favor, all of this seems
to have been dreamed up or fancied. As for sins, it sees certain-
ly that it has committed them.
12. O Jesus, and what a thing it is to see this kind of forsaken
soul; and, as I have said,8 what little help any earthly consola-
tion is for it! Hence, do not think, Sisters, if at some time you
find yourselves in this state, that the rich and those who are
free will have a better remedy for these times of suffering. Ab-
solutely not, for being rich in this case seems to me like the
situation of a person condemned to die who has all the world's
delights placed before him. These delights would not be suffi-
cient to alleviate his suffering; rather, they would increase the
torment. So it is with this torment; it comes from above, and
earthly things are of no avail in the matter. Our great God
wants us to know our own misery and that He is king; and this
is very important for what lies ahead.
13. Well then, what will this poor soul do when the torment
goes on for many days? If it prays, it feels as though it hasn't
prayed — as far as consolation goes, I mean. For consolation is
not admitted into the soul's interior, nor is what one recites to
oneself, even though vocal, understood. As for mental prayer,
this definitely is not the time for that, because the faculties are
incapable of the practice; rather, solitude causes greater
harm — and also another torment for this soul is that it be with
anyone or that others speak to it. And thus however much it
forces itself not to do so, it goes about with a gloomy and ill-
tempered mien that is externally very noticeable.
Is it true that it will know how to explain its experiences?
They are indescribable, for they are spiritual afflictions and
sufferings that one cannot name. The best remedy (I don't
mean for getting rid of them, because I don't find any, but so
that they may be endured) is to engage in external works of
charity and to hope in the mercy of God who never fails those
who hope in Him. May He be forever blessed, amen.
14. Other exterior trials the devils cause must be quite
unusual; and so there's no reason to speak of them. Nor are
366
St. Teresa of Avila
they, for the most part, so painful; for, however much the
devils do, they do not, in my opinion, manage to disable the
faculties or disturb the soul in this way. In sum, there's reason
for thinking that they can do no more than what the Lord
allows them to do; and provided one doesn't lose one's mind,
everything is small in comparison with what was mentioned.
15. We shall be speaking in these dwelling places of other
interior sufferings, and dealing with different kinds of prayer
and favors from the Lord. For even though some favors cause
still more severe suffering than those mentioned, as will be seen
from the condition in which the body is left, they do not
deserve to be called trials. Nor is there any reason for us to
write of them since they are such great favors from the Lord. In
the midst of receiving them the soul understands that they are
great favors and far beyond its merits. This severe suffering
comes so that one may enter the seventh dwelling place. It
comes along with many other sufferings, only some of which I
shall speak of9 because it would be impossible to speak of them
all, or even to explain what they are; for they are of a different,
much higher level than those mentioned in this chapter. And if
I haven't been able to explain any more than I did about those
of a lower kind, less will I be able to say of the others. May the
Lord give His help for everything through the merits of His
Son, amen.
Chapter 2
Deals with some of the ways in which our Lord awakens the
soul. It seems there is nothing in these awakenings to fear even
though the experience is sublime and the favors are great.
SEEMINGLY WE HAVE LEFT the little dove far behind; but
we have not, for these are the trials that make it fly still
higher. Well let us begin, then, to discuss the manner in which
the Spouse deals with it and how before He belongs to it com-
pletely He makes it desire Him vehemently by certain delicate
The Interior Castle - VI:2
367
means the soul itself does not understand. (Nor do I believe I'll
be successful in explaining them save to those who have ex-
perienced them.) These are impulses so delicate and refined,
for they proceed from very deep within the interior part of the
soul, that I don't know any comparison that will fit.
2. They are far different from all that we can acquire of
ourselves here below and even from the spiritual delights that
were mentioned.1 For often when a person is distracted and
forgetful of God, His Majesty will awaken it. His action is as
quick as a falling comet. And as clearly as it hears a thun-
derclap, even though no sound is heard, the soul understands
that it was called by God. So well does it understand that
sometimes, especially in the beginning, it is made to tremble
and even complain without there being anything that causes it
pain. It feels that it is wounded in the most exquisite way, but
it doesn't learn how or by whom it was wounded. It knows
clearly that the wound is something precious, and it would
never want to be cured. It complains to its Spouse with words
of love, even outwardly, without being able to do otherwise. It
knows that He is present, but He doesn't want to reveal the
manner in which He allows Himself to be enjoyed. And the
pain is great, although delightful and sweet. And even if the
soul does not want this wound, the wound cannot be avoided.
But the soul, in fact, would never want to be deprived of this
pain. The wound satisfies it much more than the delightful
and painless absorption of the prayer of quiet.2
3. I am struggling, Sisters, to explain for you this action of
love, and I don't know how. For it seems a contradiction that
the Beloved would give the soul clear understanding that He is
with it and yet make it think that He is calling it by a sign so
certain that no room is left for doubt and a whisper so
penetrating that the soul cannot help but hear it. For it seems
that when the Spouse, who is in the seventh dwelling place,
communicates in this manner (for the words are not spoken),
all the people in the other dwelling places keep still; neither the
senses, nor the imagination, nor the faculties stir.
O my powerful God, how sublime are your secrets, and how
different spiritual things are from all that is visible and
368
St. Teresa of Avila
understandable here below. There is nothing that serves to ex-
plain this favor, even though the favor is a very small one when
compared to the very great ones You work in souls.
4. This action of love is so powerful that the soul dissolves
with desire, and yet it doesn't know what to ask for since clearly
it thinks that its God is with it.
You will ask me: Well, if it knows this, what does it desire or
what pains it? What greater good does it want? I don't know. I
do know that it seems this pain reaches to the soul's very depths
and that when He who wounds it draws out the arrow, it in-
deed seems, in accord with the deep love the soul feels, that
God is drawing these very depths after Him.3 I was thinking
now that it's as though, from this fire enkindled in the brazier
that is my God, a spark leapt forth and so struck the soul that
the flaming fire was felt by it. And since the spark was not
enough to set the soul on fire, and the fire is so delightful, the
soul is left with that pain; but the spark merely by touching the
soul produces that effect. It seems to me this is the best com-
parison I have come up with. This delightful pain — and it is
not pain — is not continuous, although sometimes it lasts a long
while; at other times it goes away quickly. This depends on the
way the Lord wishes to communicate it, for it is not something
that can be procured in any human way. But even though it
sometimes lasts for a long while, it comes and goes. To sum up,
it is never permanent. For this reason it doesn't set the soul on
fire; but just as the fire is about to start, the spark goes out and
the soul is left with the desire to suffer again that loving pain
the spark causes.
5. Here there is no reason to wonder whether the experience
is brought on naturally or caused by melancholy, or whether it
is some trick of the devil or some illusion. It is something that
leaves clear understanding of how this activity comes from the
place where the Lord who is unchanging dwells. The activity is
not like that found in other feelings of devotion, where the
great absorption in delight can make us doubtful. Here all the
senses and faculties remain free of any absorption, wondering
what this could be, without hindering anything or being able,
in my opinion, to increase or take away that delightful pain.
The Interior Castle ~ VJ:2
369
Anyone to whom our Lord may have granted this favor — for
if He has, that fact will be recognized on reading this — should
thank Him very much. Such a person doesn't have to fear
deception. Let his great fear be that he might prove ungrateful
for so generous a favor, and let him strive to better his entire
life, and to serve, and he will see the results and how he
receives more and more. In fact, I know a person4 who received
this favor for some years and was so pleased with it that had she
served the Lord through severe trials for a great number of
years she would have felt well repaid by it. May He be blessed
forever, amen.
6. You may wonder why greater security is present in this
favor than in other things. In my opinion, these are the
reasons: First, the devil never gives delightful pain like this. He
can give the savor and delight that seem to be spiritual, but he
doesn't have the power to join pain — and so much of it — to the
spiritual quiet and delight of the soul. For all of his powers are
on the outside, and the pains he causes are never, in my opin-
ion, delightful or peaceful, but disturbing and contentious.
Second, this delightful tempest comes from a region other than
those regions of which he can be lord. Third, the favor brings
wonderful benefits to the soul, the more customary of which
are the determination to suffer for God, the desire to have
many trials, and the determination to withdraw from earthly
satisfactions and conversations and other similar things.
7 . That this favor is no fancy is very clear. Although at other
times the soul may strive to experience this favor, it will not be
able to counterfeit one. And the favor is something so manifest
that it can in no way be fancied. I mean, one cannot think it is
imagined, when it is not, or have doubts about it. If some
doubt should remain, one must realize that the things ex-
perienced are not true impulses; I mean if there should be
doubt about whether the favor was experienced or not. The
favor is felt as clearly as a loud voice is heard. There's no basis
for thinking it is caused by melancholy, because melancholy
does not produce or fabricate its fancies save in the imagina-
tion. This favor proceeds from the interior part of the soul.
Now it could be that I'm mistaken, but until I hear other
370
St. Teresa of Avila
reasons from someone who understands the experience I will
always have this opinion. And so I know a person who was
quite fearful about being deceived but who never had any fear
of this prayer.5
8. The Lord also has other ways of awakening the soul:
unexpectedly, when it is praying vocally and not thinking of
anything interior, it seems a delightful enkindling will come
upon it as though a fragrance were suddenly to become so
powerful as to spread through all the senses. (I don't say that it
is a fragrance but am merely making this comparison.) Or the
experience is something like this, and it is communicated only
for the sake of making one feel the Spouse's presence there.
The soul is moved with a delightful desire to enjoy Him, and
thereby it is prepared to make intense acts of love and praise of
our Lord. This favor rises out of that place I mentioned;6 but
there is nothing in it that causes pain, nor are the desires
themselves to enjoy God painful. Such is the way the soul
usually experiences it. Neither does it seem to me, for some of
the reasons mentioned,7 there is anything to fear; but one
should try to receive this favor with gratitude.
Chapter 3
Deals with the same subject and tells of the manner in which
God, when pleased, speaks to the soul. Gives counsel about
how one should behave in such a matter and not follow one's
own opinion. Sets down some signs for discerning when there is
deception and when not. This chapter is very beneficial. 1
GOD HAS ANOTHER WAY of awakening the soul. Although
it somehow seems to be a greater favor than those
mentioned,2 it can be more dangerous, and therefore I shall
pause a little to consider it. There are many kinds of locutions
given to the soul. Some seem to come from outside oneself;
others, from deep within the interior part of the soul; others,
from the superior part; and some are so exterior that they come
The Interior Castle - VI: 3
371
through the sense of hearing, for it seems there is a spoken
word. Sometimes, and often, the locution can be an illusion,
especially in persons with a weak imagination or in those
who are melancholic, I mean who suffer noticeably from
melancholy.
2. In my opinion no attention should be paid to these latter
two kinds of persons even if they say they see and hear and
understand. But neither should one disturb these persons by
telling them their locutions come from the devil; one must
listen to them as to sick persons. The prioress or confessor to
whom they relate their locutions should tell them to pay no at-
tention to such experiences, that these locutions are not essen-
tial to the service of God, and that the devil has deceived many
by such means, even though this particular person, perhaps,
may not be suffering such deception. This counsel should be
given so as not to aggravate the melancholy, for if they tell her
the locution is due to melancholy, there will be no end to the
matter; she will swear that she sees and hears, for it seems to
her that she does.
3. It is true that it's necessary to be firm in taking prayer
away from her and to insist strongly that she pay no attention
to locutions; for the devil is wont to profit from these souls that
are sick in this way, even though what he does may not be to
their harm but to the harm of others. But for both the sick and
the healthy there is always reason to fear these things until the
spirit of such persons is well understood. And I say that in the
beginning it is always better to free these persons from such ex-
periences, for if the locutions are from God, doing so is a
greater help toward progress, and a person even grows when
tested. This is true; nonetheless, one should not proceed in a
way that is distressing or disturbing to a soul, because truly the
soul can't help it if these locutions come.
4. Now then, to return to what I was saying about locutions,
all the kinds I mentioned3 can be from God or from the devil or
from one's own imagination. If I can manage to do so, I shall
give, with the help of the Lord, the signs as to when they come
from these different sources and when they are dangerous; for
there are many souls among prayerful people who hear them.
372
St. Teresa of Avila
My desire, Sisters, is that you realize you are doing the right
thing if you refuse to give credence to them, even when they
are destined just for you (such as, some consolation, or advice
about your faults), no matter who tells you about them, or if
they are an illusion, for it doesn't matter where they come
from. One thing I advise you: do not think, even if the locu-
tions are from God, that you are better because of them, for He
spoke frequently with the Pharisees. All the good comes from
how one benefits by these words; and pay no more attention to
those that are not in close conformity with Scripture than you
would to those heard from the devil himself. Even if they come
from your weak imagination, it's necessary to treat them as if
they were temptations in matters of faith, and thus resist them
always. They will then go away because they will have little ef-
fect on you.
5. Returning, then, to the first of the different kinds of
locutions; whether or not the words come from the interior
part of the soul, from the superior part, or from the exterior
part doesn't matter in discerning whether or not they are from
God. The surest signs they are from God that can be had, in
my opinion, are these: the first and truest is the power and
authority they bear, for locutions from God effect what they
say. Let me explain myself better. A soul finds itself in the
midst of all the tribulation and disturbance that was men-
tioned,4 in darkness of the intellect and in dryness; with one
word alone of these locutions from the Lord ("don't be dis-
tressed"), it is left calm and free from all distress, with great
light, and without all that suffering in which it seemed to it
that all the learned men and all who might come together to
give it reasons for not being distressed would be unable to
remove its affliction no matter how hard they tried. Or, it is af-
flicted because its confessor and others have told it that its
spirit is from the devil, and it is all full of fear; with one word
alone ("it is I, fear not"), the fear is taken away completely,
and the soul is most comforted, thinking that nothing would be
sufficient to make it believe anything else. Or, it is greatly
distressed over how certain serious business matters will turn
out; it hears that it should be calm, that everything will turn
The Interior Castle - VI: 3
373
out all right. It is left certain and free of anxiety. And this is
the way in many other instances.5
6. The second sign is the great quiet left in the soul, the
devout and peaceful recollection, the readiness to engage in
the praises of God. O Lord, if a word sent to be spoken through
one of Your attendants (for the Lord Himself does not speak
the words — at least not in this dwelling place — but an angel)
has such power, what will be the power You leave in the soul
that is attached to You, and You to it, through love?
7. The third sign is that these words remain in the memory
for a very long time, and some are never forgotten, as are those
we listen to here on earth — I mean those we hear from men.
For even if the words are spoken by men who are very impor-
tant and learned, or concern the future, we do not have them
engraved on our memory, or believe them, as we do these. The
certitude is so strong that even in things that in one's own
opinion sometimes seem impossible and in which there is doubt
as to whether they will or will not happen, and the intellect
wavers, there is an assurance in the soul itself that cannot be
overcome. Even though it seems that everything is going con-
trary to what the soul understood, and years go by, the thought
remains that God will find other means than those men know
of and that in the end the words will be accomplished; and so
they are. Although, as I say, the soul still suffers when it sees
the many delays, for since time has passed since it heard the
words, and the effects and the certitude that were present
about their being from God have passed, these doubts take
place. The soul wonders whether the locutions might have
come from the devil or from the imagination. Yet, none of
these doubts remain in the soul, but it would at present die a
thousand deaths for that truth. But, as I say, what won't the
devil do with all these imaginings so as to afflict and intimidate
the soul, especially if the words regard a business matter which
when carried out will bring many blessings to souls, and works
that will bring great honor and service to God, and if there is
great difficulty involved? At least he weakens faith, for it does
great harm not to believe that God has the power to do things
that our intellects do not understand.
374
St. Teresa of Avila
8. Despite all these struggles and even the persons who tell
one that the locutions are foolishness (I mean the confessors
with whom one speaks about these things), and despite the
many unfortunate occurrences that make it seem the words will
not be fulfilled, there remains a spark of assurance so alive — I
don't know from where — that the words will be fulfilled,
though all other hopes are dead, that even should the soul
desire otherwise, that spark will stay alive. And in the end, as I
have said,6 the words of the Lord are fulfilled. And the soul is
so consoled and happy it wouldn't want to do anything but
always praise His Majesty, and praise Him more for the fact
that what He had told it was fulfilled than for the work itself,
no matter how important the work is to the soul.
9. I don't know why it is so important to the soul that these
words turn out to be true, for if that soul were itself caught in
some lies, I don't think it would regret the fact as much. And
yet, there is nothing else it can do, for it merely says what it
hears. Countless times, in this regard, a certain person thought
of how the prophet Jonah feared that Nineveh would not be
destroyed.7 In sum, since the spirit is from God, it is right that
the soul be faithful in its desire that the words be considered
true, for God is the supreme truth. And so its happiness is great
when through a thousand roundabout ways and in most dif-
ficult circumstances it sees them fulfilled. Even though great
trials should come to the person herself from them, she would
rather suffer such trials than the trial of seeing that what she
knows for certain the Lord told her fails in fact to happen.
Perhaps not all persons will have this weakness — if it is a
weakness, for I cannot condemn it as bad.
10. If the locutions come from the imagination, there are
none of these signs; neither certitude, nor peace, nor interior
delight. But it could happen — and I even know some persons
to whom it has happened — that while these imaginings come a
person may be very absorbed in the prayer of quiet and
spiritual sleep. Some have such a weak constitution and im-
agination, or I don't know the cause, that indeed in this deep
recollection they are so outside themselves (for they don't feel
anything exteriorly and all the senses are put to sleep) that they
The Interior Castle - VI: 3
375
think as when they are asleep and dreaming (and perhaps it is
true that they are asleep) that these locutions are spoken to
them and even that they see things. And they think these things
are from God, but in the end the effects are like those of sleep.
It can also happen that while with affection they are begging
our Lord for something, they think the locution is telling them
what they want to hear; this sometimes happens. But anyone
who has had much experience of God's locutions will not
be deceived by these that come, in my opinion, from the
imagination.
11. With those locutions coming from the devil there is
more to fear. But if the signs mentioned8 are present, there can
be a great deal of certainty that the locutions are from God.
But the certainty shouldn't be so strong that if the locution
concerns something serious about oneself and has to be carried
out in deed, or business affairs involving third parties,
anything should ever be done or pass through one's mind
without the opinion of a learned and prudent confessor and
servant of God. This is so even if the soul increasingly
understands and thinks the locution is clearly from God. His
Majesty wants the soul to consult in this way; and that it does so
does not mean it is failing to carry out the Lord's commands,
for He has told us, where the words are undoubtedly His, to
hold the confessor in His place.9 And these words of His help to
give courage if the task is a difficult one, and our Lord when
He so desires will make the confessor believe that the locution
comes from His spirit. If He doesn't, the confessor and the soul
are no longer under obligation. To do otherwise and follow
nothing but your own opinion in this, I hold to be very
dangerous. And so, Sisters, I warn you, on the part of our
Lord, that you never let this happen to you.
12. There is another way in which the Lord speaks to the
soul — for I hold that it is very definitely from Him — with a cer-
tain intellectual vision, the nature of which I will explain fur-
ther on.10 The locution takes place in such intimate depths and
a person with the ears of the soul seems to hear those words
from the Lord Himself so clearly and so in secret that this very
way in which they are heard, together with the acts thai the vi-
376
5/. Teresa of Avila
sion itself produces, assures that person and gives him certitude
that the devil can have no part to play in the locution.
Wonderful effects are left so that the soul may believe; at least
there is assurance that the locution doesn't come from the im-
agination. Furthermore, if the soul is attentive, it can always
have assurance for the following reasons: First, there is a dif-
ference because of the clarity of the locution. It is so clear that
the soul remembers every syllable and whether it is said in one
style or another, even if it is a whole sentence. But in a locution
fancied by the imagination the words will not be so clear or
distinct but like something half-dreamed.
13. Second, in these locutions one often is not thinking
about what is heard (I mean that the locution comes unex-
pectedly and even sometimes while one is in conversation),
although many times it is a response to what passes quickly
through the mind or to what did so previously. But it often
refers to things about the future that never entered the mind,
and so the imagination couldn't have fabricated it in such a
way that the soul could be deceived in fancying what was not
desired or wanted or thought of.
14. Third, the one locution comes as in the case of a person
who hears, and that of the imagination comes as in the case of
a person who gradually composes what he himself wants to be
told.
15. Fourth, the words are very different, and with one of
them much is comprehended. Our intellect could not compose
them so quickly.
16. Fifth, together with the words, in a way I wouldn't know
how to explain, there is often given much more to understand
than is ever dreamed possible without words.
I shall speak more about this mode of understanding
elsewhere,11 for it is something very delicate and to the praise
of our Lord. For in regard to these different kinds of locutions,
there have been persons who were very doubtful and unable to
understand themselves. A certain person, especially, ex-
perienced this doubt,12 and so there will be others. And thus I
know that she observed the differences with close attention
The Interior Castle - VI: 3
377
because the Lord has often granted her this favor, and the
greatest doubt she had in the beginning was whether she had
imagined the locution. That the words come from the devil can
be more quickly understood; even though his wiles are so
many, for he knows well how to counterfeit the Spirit of light.
In my opinion the devil will say the words very clearly so that
there will be certitude about their meaning, as is so with those
coming from the Spirit of truth. But he will not be able to
counterfeit the effects that were mentioned1 i or leave this
peace or light in the soul; on the contrary he leaves restlessness
and disturbance. But he can do little harm or none if the soul is
humble and does what I have mentioned,14 that is, doesn't
make a move to do a thing of what it hears.
17. If the locutions contain words of favor and consolation
from the Lord, let the soul look attentively to see if it thinks
that because of them it is better than others. The more it hears
words of favor the more humble it should be left; if it isn't, let
it believe that the spirit is not from God. One thing very certain
is that when the spirit is from God the soul esteems itself less,
the greater the favor granted, and it has more awareness of its
sins and is more forgetful of its own gain, and its will and
memory are employed more in seeking only the honor of God,
nor does it think about its own profit, and it walks with greater
fear lest its will deviate in anything, and with greater certitude
that it never deserved any of those favors but deserved hell.
Since all the favors and things it experienced in prayer produce
these effects, the soul does not walk fearfully but with con-
fidence in the mercy of the Lord, who is faithful15 and will not
let the devil deceive it; although walking with fear is always
good.
18. It could be that those whom the Lord does not lead
along this path think such souls could refuse to listen to these
words spoken to them — and if the words are interior distract
themselves in such a way that they not be admitted — and as a
result go about free of these dangers.
To this, I reply that it is impossible. I'm not speaking of im-
aginary locutions, for by not being so desirous of a thing or
wanting to pay attention to their imaginings souls have a
378
St. Teresa of Avila
remedy. In locutions from the Lord, they have none. For the
very spirit that speaks puts a stop to all other thoughts and
makes the soul attend to what is said. It does this in such a way
that I think, and I believe truly, that somehow it would be
more possible for a person with very good hearing not to hear
someone else speaking in a loud voice. In this latter instance
the person would be able to turn his attention away and center
his mind and intellect on something else. But in the locution
we are speaking about this cannot be done; there are no ears to
stop, nor is there the power to think of anything but what is
said to the soul. For He who was able to stop the sun (through
Joshua's prayer, I believe)16 can make the faculties and the
whole interior stop in such a way that the soul sees clearly that
another greater Lord than itself governs that castle. And this
brings it deep devotion and humility. So there's no remedy for
this kind of locution. May the divine Majesty provide a remedy
that will enable us to place our eyes only on pleasing Him and
to be forgetful of ourselves, as I said, amen.
Please God that I may have succeeded in explaining what
I set out to; may it be helpful for whoever has had such
experience.
Chapter 4
Treats of when God suspends the soul in prayer with rapture or
ecstasy or transport, which are all the same in my opinion, 1
and how great courage is necessary to receive sublime favors
from His Majesty.
WITH THESE TRIALS and the other things that were
mentioned, what kind of calm can the poor little but-
terfly have? All these sufferings are meant to increase one's
desire to enjoy the Spouse. And His Majesty, as one who knows
our weakness, is enabling the soul through these afflictions and
many others to have the courage to be joined with so great a
Lord and to take Him as its Spouse.2
2. You will laugh at my saying this and will think it's
The Interior Castle - VI: 4
379
foolishness; it will seem to any one of you that such courage is
unnecessary and that there's no woman so miserable who
wouldn't have the courage to be married to the king. I believe
this is true with respect to kings here on earth; but with respect
to the King of heaven, I tell you there is need for more courage
than you think. Our nature is very timid and lowly when it
comes to something so great, and I am certain that if God were
not to give the courage, no matter how much you might see
that the favor is good for us, it would be impossible for you to
receive that favor. And thus you will see what His Majesty does
to conclude this betrothal, which I understand comes about
when He gives the soul raptures that draw it out of its senses.
For if it were to see itself so near this great majesty while in its
senses, it would perhaps die. Let it be understood that I mean
true raptures and not the weaknesses women experience here
below, for everything seems to us to be a rapture or an ecstasy.
And, as I believe I have said,3 some have constitutions so weak
that the prayer of quiet is enough to make them die.
I want to put down here some kinds of rapture that I've
come to understand because I've discussed them with so many
spiritual persons. But I don't know whether I shall succeed as I
did when I wrote elsewhere about them4 and other things that
occur in this dwelling place. On account of certain reasons it
seems worthwhile to speak of these kinds of rapture again, and,
if for no other reason, so that everything related to these dwell-
ing places will be put down here together.
3. One kind of rapture is that in which the soul even though
not in prayer is touched by some word it remembers or hears
about God. It seems that His Majesty from the interior of the
soul makes the spark we mentioned5 increase, for He is moved
with compassion in seeing the soul suffer so long a time from its
desire. All burnt up, the soul is renewed like the phoenix, and
one can devoutly believe that its faults are pardoned. Now that
it is so pure, the Lord joins it with Himself, without anyone
understanding what is happening except these two; nor does
the soul itself understand in a way that can afterward be ex-
plained. Yet, it does have interior understanding, for this ex-
380
St. Teresa of A vtla
perience is not like that of fainting or convulsion; in these latter
nothing is understood inwardly or outwardly.
4. What I know in this case is that the soul was never so
awake to the things of God nor did it have such deep enlighten-
ment and knowledge of His Majesty. This will seem impossible,
for if the faculties are so absorbed that we can say they are
dead, and likewise the senses, how can a soui know that it
understands this secret? I don't know, nor perhaps does any
creature but only the Creator. And this goes for many other
things that take place in this state — I mean in these two dwell-
ing places, for there is no closed door between the one and the
other. Because there are things in the last that are not revealed
to those who have not yet reached it, I thought I should divide
them.
5. When the soul is in this suspension, the Lord likes to show
it some secrets, things about heaven, and imaginative visions.
It is able to tell of them afterward, for these remain so im-
pressed on the memory that they are never forgotten. But when
the visions are intellectual, the soul doesn't know how to speak
of them. For there must be some visions during these moments
that are so sublime that it's not fitting for those who live on this
earth to have the further understanding necessary to explain
them. However, when the soul is again in possession of its
senses, it can say many things about these intellectual visions.
It could be that some of you do not know what a vision is,
especially an intellectual one. I shall explain at the proper
time,6 for one who has the authority ordered me to do so.7 And
although the explanation may not seem pertinent, it will
perhaps benefit some souls.
6. Well now you will ask me: if afterward there is to be no
remembrance of these sublime favors granted by the Lord to
the soul in this state, what benefit do they have? Oh,
daughters, they are so great one cannot exaggerate! For even
though they are unexplainable, they are well inscribed in the
very interior part of the soul and are never forgotten.
But, you will insist, if there is no image and the faculties do
not understand, how can the visions be remembered? I don't
The Interior Castle VI: 4
381
understand this either; but I do understand that some truths
about the grandeur of God remain so fixed in this soul, that
even if faith were not to tell it who God is and of its obligation
to believe that He is God, from that very moment it would
adore Him as God, as did Jacob when he saw the ladder. By
means of the ladder Jacob must have understood other secrets
that he didn't know how to explain, for by seeing just a ladder
on which angels descended and ascended he would not have
understood such great mysteries if there had not been deeper
interior enlightenment.8 I don't know if I'm guessing right in
what I say, for although I have heard this story about Jacob, I
don't know if I'm remembering it correctly.
7. Nor did Moses know how to describe all that he saw in the
bush, but only what God wished him to describe.9 But if God
had not shown secrets to his soul along with a certitude that
made him recognize and believe that they were from God,
Moses could not have entered into so many severe trials. But he
must have understood such deep things among the thorns of
that bush that the vision gave him the courage to do what he
did for the people of Israel. So, Sisters, we don't have to look
for reasons to understand the hidden things of God. Since we
believe He is powerful, clearly we must believe that a worm
with as limited a power as ours will not understand His
grandeurs. Let us praise Him, for He is pleased that we come
to know some of them.
8. I have been wanting to find some comparison by which to
explain what I'm speaking about, and I don't think there is any
that fits. But let's use this one: you enter into the room of a
king or great lord, or I believe they call it the treasure
chamber, where there are countless kinds of glass and earthen
vessels and other things so arranged that almost all these ob-
jects are seen upon entering. Once I was brought to a room like
this in the house of the Duchess of Alba where, while I was on a
journey, obedience ordered me to stay because of this lady's in-
sistence with my superiors.10 I was amazed on entering and
wondered what benefit could be gained from that conglomera-
tion of things, and I saw that one could praise the Lord at see-
ing so many different kinds of objects, and now I laugh to
382
St, Teresa of Avila
myself upon realizing how the experience has helped me here in
my explanation. Although I was in that room for a while, there
was so much there to see that I soon forgot it all; none of those
pieces has remained in my memory any more than if I had never
seen them, nor would I know how to explain the workmanship
of any of them. I can only say in general that I remember seeing
everything. Likewise with this favor, the soul, while it is made
one with God, is placed in this room of the empyreal heaven that
we must have interiorly. For clearly, the soul has some of these
dwelling places since God abides within it. And although the
Lord must not want the soul to see these secrets every time it is in
this ecstasy, for it can be so absorbed in enjoying Him that a
sublime good like that is sufficient for it, sometimes He is
pleased that the absorption decrease and the soul see at once
what is in that room. After it returns to itself, the soul is left with
that representation of the grandeurs it saw; but it cannot
describe any of them, nor do its natural powers attain to any
more than what God wished that it see supernaturally.
9. You, therefore, might object that I admit that the soul
sees and that the vision is an imaginative one. But I'm not say-
ing that, for I'm not dealing with an imaginative vision but
with an intellectual one. Since I have no learning, I don't know
how in my dullness to explain anything. If what I have said up
to now about this prayer is worthwhile, I know clearly that I'm
not the one who has said it.
I hold that if at times in its raptures the soul doesn't under-
stand these secrets, its raptures are not given by God but caused
by some natural weakness. It can happen to persons with a
weak constitution, as is so with women, that any spiritual force
will overcome the natural powers, and the soul will be ab-
sorbed as I believe I mentioned in reference to the prayer of
quiet.1 1 These experiences have nothing to do with rapture. In
a rapture, believe me, God carries off for Himself the entire
soul, and, as to someone who is His own and His spouse, He
begins showing it some little part of the kingdom that it has
gained by being espoused to Him. However small that part of
His kingdom may be, everything that there is in this great God
is magnificent. And He doesn't want any hindrance from
The Interior Castle VI: 4
383
anyone, neither from the faculties nor from the senses, but He
immediately commands the doors of all these dwelling places
to be closed; and only that door to His dwelling place remains
open so that we can enter. Blessed be so much mercy; they will
be rightly cursed who have not wanted to benefit by it and who
have lost this Lord.
10. Oh, my Sisters, what nothingness it is, that which we
leave! Nor is what we do anything, nor all that we could do for
a God who thus wishes to communicate Himself to a worm!
And if we hope to enjoy this blessing even in this present life,
what are we doing? What is causing us to delay? What is
enough to make us, even momentarily, stop looking for this
Lord as the bride looked for Him in the streets and in the
squares?12 Oh, what a mockery everything in the world is if it
doesn't lead us and help us toward this blessing even if its
delights and riches and joys, as much of them as imaginable,
were to last forever! It is all loathsome dung compared to these
treasures that will be enjoyed without end. Nor are these
anything in comparison with having as our own the Lord of all
the treasures of heaven and earth.
11. Oh, human blindness! How long, how long before this
dust will be removed from our eyes! Even though among
ourselves the dust doesn't seem to be capable of blinding us
completely, I see some specks, some tiny pebbles that if we
allow them to increase will be enough to do us great harm. On
the contrary, for the love of God, Sisters, let us benefit by these
faults so as to know our misery, and they will give us clearer vi-
sion as did the mud to the blind man cured by our Spouse.13
Thus, seeing ourselves so imperfect, let us increase our sup-
plications that His Majesty may draw good out of our miseries
so that we might be pleasing to Him.
12. I have digressed a great deal without realizing it. Par-
don me, Sisters, and believe me that having reached these
grandeurs of God (I mean, reached the place where I must
speak of them), I cannot help but feel very sorry to see what we
lose through our own fault. Even though it is true that these are
blessings the Lord gives to whomever He wills, His Majesty
would give them all to us if we loved Him as He loves us. He
384
St. Teresa of Avila
doesn't desire anything else than to have those to whom to give.
His riches do not lessen when He gives them away.
13. Well now, to get back to what I was saying,14 the Spouse
commands that the doors of the dwelling places be closed and
even those of the castle and the outer wall. For in desiring to
carry off this soul, He takes away the breath so that, even
though the other senses sometimes last a little longer, a person
cannot speak at all; although at other times everything is taken
away at once, and the hands and the body grow cold so that
the person doesn't seem to have any life; nor sometimes is it
known whether he is breathing. This situation lasts but a short
while, I mean in its intensity; for when this extreme suspension
lets up a little, it seems that the body returns to itself somewhat
and is nourished so as to die again and give more life to the
soul. Nevertheless so extreme an ecstasy doesn't last long.
14. But it will happen that even though the extreme ecstasy
ends, the will remains so absorbed and the intellect so
withdrawn, for a day and even days, that the latter seems in-
capable of understanding anything that doesn't lead to
awakening the will to love; and the will is wide awake to this
love and asleep to becoming attached to any creature.
15. Oh, when the soul returns completely to itself, what
bewilderment and how intense its desires to be occupied in God
in every kind of way He might want! If the effects that were
mentioned were produced by the former kinds of prayer what
will be the effects of a favor as sublime as this? The soul would
desire to have a thousand lives so as to employ them all for God
and that everything here on earth would be a tongue to help it
praise Him. The desires to do penance are most strong, but not
much help comes from performing it, because the strength of
love makes the soul feel that all that is done amounts to little
and see clearly that the martyrs did not accomplish much in
suffering the torments they did because with this help from our
Lord, such suffering is easy. Hence these souls complain to His
Majesty when no opportunity for suffering presents itself.
16. When this favor is granted them in secret, their esteem
for it is great; when it is given in the presence of other persons,
The Interior Castle VI: 4
385
their embarrassment and shame are so strong that the pain and
worry over what those who saw it will think somehow take the
soul away from what was being enjoyed.15 For these persons
know the malice of the world, and they understand that the
world will not perhaps regard the experience for what it is, but
that what the Lord should be praised for will perhaps be the
occasion for rash judgments. In some ways it seems to me that
this pain and embarrassment amount to a lack of humility, for
if this person desires to be reviled, what difference does it make
what others think? But the soul cannot control such feelings.
One who was in this affliction heard from the Lord: "Don't be
afflicted, either they will praise Me or criticize you; and in
either case you gain."16 I learned afterward that this person
was very much consoled and encouraged by these words, and I
put them down here in case one of you might find herself in
this affliction. It seems that our Lord wishes all to understand
that that soul is now His, that no one should touch it. Well and
good if its body, or honor, or possessions are touched for this
soul draws honor for His Majesty out of everything. But that
one touch the soul — absolutely not; for if the soul does not
withdraw from its Spouse through a very culpable boldness, He
will protect it from the whole world and even from all hell.
17. I don't know if anything has been explained about the
nature of rapture, for to explain it is completely impossible, as
I have said.17 But I don't believe anything has been lost by try-
ing. For there are effects that are very different in feigned rap-
tures. I do not say "feigned" because the one who has the ex-
perience wants to deceive but because that person is deceived.
And since the signs and effects of the feigned raptures are not
in conformity with such a great blessing, the true rapture is
looked upon unfavorably; and afterward the one to whom the
Lord grants it, justifiably is not believed. May He be blessed
and praised forever, amen, amen.
386
St . Teresa of A vila
Chapter 5
Continues on the same subject and deals with a kind of rapture
in which God raises up the soul through a flight of the spirit, an
experience different from that just explained. Tells why
courage is necessary. Explains something about this delightful
favor the Lord grants. The chapter is a very beneficial one.
THERE IS ANOTHER KIND of rapture - I call it flight of
the spirit — which, though substantially the same as other
raptures, is interiorly experienced very differently.1 For
sometimes suddenly a movement of the soul is felt so swift that
it seems the spirit is carried off, and at a fearful speed especial-
ly in the beginning. This is why I have told you2 that strong
courage is necessary for the one to whom God grants these
favors, and even faith and confidence and a full surrender to
our Lord so that He may do what He wants with the soul. Do
you think it is a small disturbance for a person to be very much
in his senses and see his soul carried off (and in the case of
some, we have read, even the body with the soul) without
knowing where that soul is going, what or who does this, or
how? At the beginning of this swift movement there is not so
much certitude that the rapture is from God.J
2. Well, now, is there some means by which one can resist
it? None at all; rather, to resist makes matters worse, for I
know this was so with a certain person.4 It seems God wishes
that the soul that has so often, so earnestly, and with such com-
plete willingness offered everything to Him should understand
that in itself it no longer has any part to play; and it is carried
off with a noticeably more impetuous movement. It is deter-
mined now to do no more than what the straw does when
drawn by the amber — if you have noticed — and abandon itself
into the hands of the One who is all powerful, for it sees that
the safest thing to do is to make a virtue of necessity. And that I
The Interior Castle - VI: 5
387
mentioned a straw is certainly appropriate, for as easily as a
huge giant snatches up a straw, this great and powerful Giant
of ours carries away the spirit.5
3. It seems the trough of water we mentioned (I believe it
was in the fourth dwelling place, for I don't recall exactly)6
filled so easily and gently, I mean without any movement. Here
this great God, who holds back the springs of water and doesn't
allow the sea to go beyond its boundaries,7 lets loose the springs
from which the water in this trough flows. With a powerful im-
pulse, a huge wave rises up so forcefully that it lifts high this lit-
tle bark that is our soul. A bark cannot prevent the furious
waves from leaving it where they will; nor does the pilot have
the power, nor do those who take part in controlling the little
ship. So much less can the interior part of the soul stay where
it will, or make its senses or faculties do other than what they
are commanded; here the soul doesn't care what happens in
the exterior senses.
4. It is certain, Sisters, that just from writing about it I am
amazed at how the immense power of this great King and
Emperor is shown here. What will be the amazement of the one
who experiences it! I hold that if His Majesty were to reveal this
power to those who go astray in the world as He does to these
souls, the former would not dare offend Him; this out of fear if
not out of love. Oh, how obliged, then, will those persons be
who have been informed through so sublime a path to strive
with all their might not to displease this Lord! For love of Him,
Sisters, I beg you, those of you to whom His Majesty has
granted these favors, or others like them, that you don't grow
careless and do nothing but receive. Reflect that the one who
owes a lot must pay a lot.8
5. In this respect, too, great courage is necessary, for this
favor is something frightening. If our Lord were not to give
such courage, the soul would always go about deeply dis-
tressed. For it reflects on what His Majesty does for it and turns
back to look at itself, at how little it serves in comparison with
its obligation, and at how the tiny bit it does is full of faults,
failures, and weaknesses. So as not to recall how imperfectly it
388
St. Teresa of Avila
performs some work — if it does — it prefers striving to forget its
works, keeping in mind its sins, and placing itself before the
mercy of God. Since it doesn't have anything with which to
pay, it begs for the pity and mercy God has always had toward
sinners.
6. Perhaps He will respond as He did to a person who before
a crucifix was reflecting with deep affliction that she had never
had anything to give to God, or anything to give up for Him.
The Crucified, Himself, in consoling her told her He had given
her all the sufferings and trials He had undergone in His Pas-
sion so that she could have them as her own to offer His
Father.9 The comfort and enrichment was such that, accord-
ing to what I have heard from her, she cannot forget the ex-
perience. Rather, every time she sees how miserable she is, she
gets encouragement and consolation from remembering those
words.
I could mention here some other experiences like this, for
since I have dealt with so many holy and prayerful persons, I
know about many such experiences; but I want to limit myself
lest you think I am speaking of myself. What I said seems to me
very beneficial to help you understand how pleased our Lord is
that we know ourselves and strive to reflect again and again on
our poverty and misery and on how we possess nothing that we
have not received. So, my Sisters, courage is necessary for this
knowledge and for the many other graces given to the soul the
Lord has brought to this stage. And when there is humility,
courage, in my opinion, is even more necessary for this
knowledge of one's own misery. May the Lord give us this
humility because of who He is.
7. Well, now, to return to this quick rapture of the spirit.10
It is such that the spirit truly seems to go forth from the body.
On the other hand, it is clear that this person is not dead; at
least, he cannot say whether for some moments he was in the
body or not. It seems to him that he was entirely in another
region different from this in which we live, where there is
shown another light so different from earth's light that if he
were to spend his whole life trying to imagine that light, along
with the other things, he would be unable to do so. It happens
The Interior Castle - VI: 5
389
that within an instant so many things together are taught him
that if he were to work for many years with his imagination and
mind in order to systematize them he wouldn't be able to do so,
not with even one thousandth part of one of them. This is not
an intellectual but an imaginative vision, for the eyes of the
soul see much better than do we with bodily eyes here on earth,
and without words understanding of some things is given; I
mean that if a person sees some saints, he knows them as well as
if he had often spoken with them.
8. At other times, along with the things seen through the
eyes of the soul by an intellectual vision, other things are
represented, especially a multitude of angels with their Lord.
And without seeing anything with the eyes of the body or the
soul, through an admirable knowledge I will not be able to ex-
plain, there is represented what I'm saying and many other
things not meant to be spoken of. Anyone who experiences
them, and has more ability than I, will perhaps know how to
explain them; although doing so seems to me very difficult in-
deed. Whether all this takes place in the body or not, I
wouldn't know; at least I wouldn't swear that the soul is in the
body or that the body is without the soul.11
9. I have often thought that just as the sun while in the sky
has such strong rays that, even though it doesn't move from
there, the rays promptly reach the earth, so the soul and the
spirit, which are one,12 could be like the sun and its rays. Thus,
while the soul remains in its place, the superior part rises above
it. In a word, I don't know what I'm saying. What is true, is
that with the speed of a ball shot from an arquebus, when fire
is applied, an interior flight is experienced — I don't know what
else to call it — which, though noiseless, is so clearly a move-
ment that it cannot be the work of the imagination. And while
the spirit is far outside itself, from all it can understand, great
things are shown to it. When it again senses that it is within
itself, the benefits it feels are remarkable, and it has so little
esteem for all earthly things in comparison to the things it has
seen that the former seem like dung. From then on its life on
earth is very painful, and it doesn't see anything good in those
things that used to seem good to it. The experience causes it to
390
St. Teresa of A vila
care little about them. It seems the Lord, like those Israelites
who brought back signs from the promised land,13 has desired
to show it something about its future land so that it may suffer
the trials of this laborious path, knowing where it must go to
get its final rest. Even though something that passes so quickly
will not seem to you very beneficial, the blessings left in the soul
are so great that only the person who has this experience will be
able to understand its value.
10. Wherefore, the experience, obviously, is not from the
devil; it would be impossible for the imagination or the devil to
represent things that leave so much virtue, peace, calm, and
improvement in the soul. Three things, especially, are left in it
to a very sublime degree: knowledge of the grandeur of God,
because the more we see in this grandeur the greater is our
understanding; self-knowledge and humility upon seeing that
something so low in comparison with the Creator of so many
grandeurs dared to offend Him (and neither does the soul dare
look up at Him); the third, little esteem of earthly things save
for those that can be used for the service of so great a God.
11. These are the jewels the Spouse begins to give the
betrothed, and their value is such that the soul will not want to
lose them. For these meetings14 remain so engraved in the
memory that I believe it's impossible to forget them until one
enjoys them forever, unless they are forgotten through one's
own most serious fault. But the Spouse who gives them has the
power to give the grace not to lose them.
12. Well to get back to the courage that is necessary,15 does
it seem to you that this is so trivial a thing? For it truly seems
that because the soul loses its senses, and doesn't understand
why, that it is separated from the body. It's necessary that He
who gives everything else give the courage also. You will say
that this fear is well paid. So do I. May it please His Majesty to
give us the courage so that we may merit to serve Him, amen.
The Interior Castle
VI: 6
391
Chapter 6
Tells about an effect of the prayer discussed in the previous
chapter. How to understand whether this effect is true rather
than deceptive. Discusses another favor the Lord grants so that
the soul might be occupied in praising Him.
S A RESULT of these wonderful favors the soul is left so
JL JLfull of longings to enjoy completely the One who grants
them that it lives in a great though delightful torment. With
the strongest yearnings to die, and thus usually with tears, it
begs God to take it from this exile. Everything it sees wearies it.
When it is alone it finds some relief, but soon this torment
returns; yet when the soul does not experience this pain,
something is felt to be missing. In sum, this little butterfly is
unable to find a lasting place of rest; rather, since the soul goes
about with such tender love, any occasion that enkindles this
fire more makes the soul fly aloft. As a result, in this dwelling
place the raptures are very common and there is no means to
avoid them even though they may take place in public. Hence,
persecutions and criticism. Even though the soul may want to
be free from fears, others do not allow this freedom. For there
are many persons who cause these fears, especially confessors.
2. And even though, on the one hand, the soul seems to feel
very secure in its interior part, especially when it is alone with
God, on the other hand, it goes about in deep distress because
it fears the devil may in some way beguile it into offending the
One whom it loves so much. Little does it suffer over criticism,
unless the confessor himself distresses it, as if it could do more.
It does nothing but ask prayers from all and beg His Majesty to
lead it by another path, for they all tell it to take another; they
say that the path it is on is very dangerous. But since the soul
has found this path to be so greatly beneficial, it sees that such
a path is leading it along the way to heaven, according to what
392
St. Teresa of Avila
it reads, hears, and knows about God's commandments. Even
if it wanted to, it could not really desire anything else but to
abandon itself into God's hands. And even this powerlessness
distresses it, for it thinks it is not obeying its confessor. Obeying
and not offending our Lord, it thinks, is the complete remedy
against deception. Thus, in its opinion, it would not commit
knowingly a venial sin even were others to crush it to pieces. It
is intensely afflicted upon seeing that it cannot free itself from
unknowingly committing many venial sins.
3. God gives these souls the strongest desire not to displease
Him in anything, however small, and the desire to avoid if
possible every imperfection. For this reason alone, if for no
other, the soul wants to flee people, and it has great envy of
those who have lived in deserts. On the other hand, it would
want to enter into the midst of the world to try to play a part in
getting even one soul to praise God more. A woman in this
stage of prayer is distressed by the natural hindrance there is to
her entering the world, and she has great envy of those who
have the freedom to cry out and spread the news abroad about
who this great God of hosts is.
4. Oh, poor little butterfly, bound with so many chains
which do not let you fly where you would like! Have pity on it,
my God! Ordain that it might somehow fulfill its desires for
your honor and glory. Do not be mindful of the little it deserves
and of its lowly nature. You have the power, Lord, to make the
great sea and the large river Jordan roll back and allow the
children of Israel to pass.1 Yet, do not take pity on this little
butterfly! Helped by your strength, it can suffer many trials; it
is determined to do so and desires to suffer them. Extend Your
powerful arm,2 Lord, that this soul might not spend its life in
things so base. Let Your grandeur appear in a creature so
feminine and lowly, whatever the cost to her, so that the world
may know that this grandeur is not hers at all and may praise
You. This praise is what she desires, and she would give a thou-
sand lives — if she had that many — if one soul were to praise
You a little more through her; and she would consider such
The Interior Castle - VI: 6
393
lives very well spent. She understands in all truth that she
doesn't deserve to suffer for You a tiny trial, much less die.
5. I don't know what my goal was in saying this, Sisters, nor
why I said it, for these words were not planned. Let us realize
that such effects are undoubtedly left by these suspensions and
ecstasies. The desires are not passing but remain, and when an
occasion arises to manifest their presence, one sees that they
are not feigned. Why do I say they remain? Sometimes the soul
feels, and in the smallest things, that it is a coward and so timid
and frightened it doesn't think that it has the courage to do
anything. I understand that the Lord leaves it then to its own
human nature for its own greater good. It then sees that if it
had been able to do something, the power was given by His
Majesty. This truth is seen with a clarity that leaves the soul an-
nihilated within itself and with deeper knowledge of God's
mercy and grandeur — attributes the Lord desired to show to
something so low. But usually its state is like that we've just
mentioned.
6. Note one thing, Sisters, about these great desires to see
our Lord: they sometimes afflict so much that you must
necessarily avoid fostering them and must distract yourselves; if
you can, I mean, for in other instances which I shall mention
further on,3 this cannot be done, as you will see. As for these
initial desires, it's sometimes possible to distract oneself from
them because there is every reason to be conformed to the will
of God and say what St. Martin said.4 A person can reflect
upon St. Martin's words if the desires afflict a great deal. Since
it seems these desires are characteristic of very advanced per-
sons, the devil could instigate them so that we might think we
are advanced. It is always good to walk with fear. But my opin-
ion is that he would not be able to give the quiet and peace this
suffering gives the soul; he would be stirring some passion, as
happens when we suffer over worldly things. But a person who
has no experience of the authentic and the inauthentic desires
will think his desires are something great and will help them
394
St. Teresa of A vila
along as much as he can and will do serious harm to his health.
For this suffering is continual, or at least very habitual.
7. Also note that a weak constitution is wont to cause these
kinds of suffering, especially in the case of tender persons who
will weep over every little thing. A thousand times they will be
led to think they weep for God, but they will not be doing so.
And it can even happen, when tears flow in abundance (I
mean, that for a time every little word the soul hears or thinks
concerning God becomes the cause of tears), that some humor
has reached the heart thereby contributing more to the tears
than does love for God; for seemingly these persons will never
finish weeping. Since they have already heard that tears are
good, they will not restrain themselves nor would they desire to
do anything else; and they help the tears along as much as they
can. The devil's aim here is that these persons become so weak
they will afterward be unable either to pray or to keep their
rule.
8. It seems to me I can see you asking what you should do
since I mark danger everywhere and in something as good as
tears I think there can be deception; you are wondering if I
may be the one who is deceived. And it could be that I am. But
believe me, I do not speak without having seen that these false
tears can be experienced by some persons; although not by me,
for I am not at all tender. Rather, I have a heart so hard that
sometimes I am distressed; although when the inner fire is in-
tense, the heart, no matter how hard, distills like an alembic.
You will indeed know when this fire is the source of the tears,
for they are then more comforting and bring peace not tur-
bulence, and seldom cause harm. The good that lies in the
false tears — when there is any good — is that the damage is
done to the body (I mean when there is humility) and not to
the soul. But even if there is no harm done to the body, it won't
be wrong to be suspicious about tears.
9. Let's not think that everything is accomplished through
much weeping but set our hands to the task of hard work and
virtue. These are what we must pay attention to; let the tears
come when God sends them and without any effort on our part
to induce them. These tears from God will irrigate this dry
The Interior Castle - VI: 6
395
earth, and they are a great help in producing fruit. The less at-
tention we pay to them the more there are, for they are the
water that falls from heaven. The tears we draw out by tiring
ourselves in digging cannot compare with the tears that come
from God, for often in digging we shall get worn out and not
find even a puddle of water much less a flowing well.
Therefore, Sisters, I consider it better for us to place ourselves
in the presence of the Lord and look at His mercy and
grandeur and at our own lowliness, and let Him give us what
He wants, whether water or dryness. He knows best what is
suitable for us. With such an attitude we shall go about
refreshed, and the devil will not have so much chance to play
tricks on us.
10. In the midst of these experiences that are both painful
and delightful together, our Lord sometimes gives the soul feel-
ings of jubilation and a strange prayer it doesn't understand. I
am writing about this favor here so that if He grants it to you,
you may give Him much praise and know what is taking place.
It is, in my opinion, a deep union of the faculties; but our Lord
nonetheless leaves them free that they might enjoy this
joy — and the same goes for the senses — without understanding
what it is they are enjoying or how they are enjoying. What I'm
saying seems like gibberish, but certainly the experience takes
place in this way, for the joy is so excessive the soul wouldn't
want to enjoy it alone but wants to tell everyone about it so that
they might help this soul praise our Lord. All its activity is
directed to this praise. Oh, how many festivals and demonstra-
tions the soul would organize, if it could, that all might know
its joy! It seems it has found itself and that, like the father of
the prodigal son, it would want to prepare a festival and invite
all5 because it sees itself in an undoubtedly safe place, at least
for the time being. And I hold that there is reason for its
desires. The devil cannot give this experience, because there is
so much interior joy in the very intimate part of the soul and so
much peace; and all the happiness stirs the soul to the praises
of God.
1 1 . To be silent and conceal this great impulse of happiness,
when experiencing it, is no small pain. St. Francis must have
396
St. Teresa of Avila
felt this impulse when the robbers struck him, for he ran
through the fields crying out and telling the robbers that he
was the herald of the great King; and also other saints must feel
it who go to deserts to be able to proclaim as St. Francis these
praises of their God. I knew a saint named Friar Peter of
Alcantara — for I believe from the way he lived that he was
one — who did this very thing,6 and those who at one time
listened to him thought he was crazy. Oh, what blessed
madness, Sisters! If only God would give it to us all! And what a
favor He has granted you by bringing you to this house where,
when the Lord gives you this favor and you tell others about it,
you will receive help rather than the criticism you would
receive in the world. This proclamation is so unusual there that
one is not at all surprised at the criticism.
12. Oh, how unfortunate the times and miserable the life in
which we now live; happy are they whose good fortune it is to
remain apart from the world. Sometimes it is a particular joy
for me to see these Sisters gathered together and feeling such
great joy at being in the monastery that they praise our Lord as
much as possible. It is seen very clearly that their praises rise
from the interior of the soul. I would want you to praise Him
often, Sisters; for the one who begins, awakens the others. In
what better way can you, when together, use your tongues than
in the praises of God since we have so many reasons for praising
Him?
13. May it please His Majesty to give us this prayer often
since it is so safe and beneficial; to acquire it is impossible
because it is something very supernatural. And it may last a
whole day. The soul goes about like a person who has drunk a
great deal but not so much as to be drawn out of his senses; or
like a person suffering melancholy who has not lost his reason
completely but cannot free himself from what is in his imagina-
tion—nor can anyone else.
These are inelegant comparisons for something so precious,
but I can't think up any others. The joy makes a person so
forgetful of self and of all things that he doesn't advert to, nor
can he speak of anything other than the praises of God which
proceed from his joy.
The Interior Castle - VI: 7
397
Let us all help this soul, my daughters. Why do we want to
have more discretion? What can give us greater happiness?
And may all creatures help us forever and ever, amen, amen,
amen!
Chapter 7
Discusses the kind of suffering those souls to whom God grants
the favors mentioned feel concerning their sins. Tells what a
great mistake it is, however spiritual one may be, not to prac-
tice keeping the humanity of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
present in one's mind; also His most sacred Passion and life,
His glorious Mother, and the saints. The chapter is very
helpful.
YOU WILL THINK, Sisters, that these souls to whom the
Lord communicates Himself in this unusual way will
already be so sure of enjoying Him forever that they will have
nothing to fear nor sins to weep over. Those especially who
have not attained these favors from God will think this, for if
they had enjoyed them, they would know what I'm going to
say. But to think the above would be a great mistake because
suffering over one's sins increases the more one receives from
our God. And, for my part, I hold that until we are there
where nothing can cause pain this suffering will not be taken
away.
2. True, sometimes there is greater affliction than at other
times; and the affliction is also of a different kind, for the soul
doesn't think about the suffering it will undergo on account of
its sins but of how ungrateful it has been to One to whom it
owes so much and who deserves so much to be served. For in
these grandeurs God communicates to it, it understands much
more about Him. It is astonished at how bold it was; it weeps
over its lack of respect; it thinks its foolishness was so excessive
that it never finishes grieving over that foolishness when it
recalls that for such base things it abandoned so great a Majes-
398
St. Teresa of A vtla
ty. Much more does it recall this foolishness than it does the
favors it receives, though these favors are as remarkable as the
ones mentioned or as those still to be spoken of. These favors
are like the waves of a large river in that they come and go; but
the memory these souls have of their sins clings like thick mire.
It always seems that these sins are alive in the memory, and this
is a heavy cross.
3. I know a person1 who, apart from wanting to die in order
to see God, wanted to die so as not to feel the continual pain of
how ungrateful she had been to One to whom she ever owed so
much and would owe. Thus it didn't seem to her that anyone's
wickedness could equal her own, for she understood that there
could be no one else from whom God would have had so much
to put up with and to whom He had granted so many favors.
As for the fear of hell, such persons don't have any. That they
might lose God, at times — though seldom — distresses them
very much. All their fear is that God might allow them out of
His hand to offend Him, and they find themselves in as
miserable a state as they were once before. In regard to their
own suffering or glory, they don't care. If they don't want to
stay long in purgatory, the reason comes from the fact of their
not wanting to be away from God — as are those who are in
purgatory — rather than from the sufferings undergone there.
4. I wouldn't consider it safe for a soul, however favored by
God, to forget that at one time it saw itself in a miserable state.
Although recalling this misery is a painful thing, doing so is
helpful for many. Perhaps it is because I have been so wretched
that I have this opinion and am always mindful of my misery.
Those who have been good will not have to feel this pain,
although there will always be failures as long as we live in this
mortal body. No relief is afforded this suffering by the thought
that our Lord has already pardoned and forgotten the sins.
Rather, it adds to the suffering to see so much goodness and
realize that favors are granted to one who deserves nothing but
hell. I think such a realization was a great martyrdom for St.
Peter and the Magdalene. Since their love for God had grown
so deep and they had received so many favors and come to
know the grandeur and majesty of God, the remembrance of
The Interior Castle - VI: 7
399
their misery would have been difficult to suffer, and they
would have suffered it with tender sentiments.
5 . It will also seem to you that anyone who enjoys such lofty
things will no longer meditate on the mysteries of the most
sacred humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ. Such a person would
now be engaged entirely in loving. This is a matter I wrote
about at length elsewhere.2 They have contradicted me about
it and said that I don't understand, because these are paths
along which our Lord leads, and that when souls have already
passed beyond the beginning stages it is better for them to deal
with things concerning the divinity and flee from corporeal
things. Nonetheless, they will not make me admit that such a
road is a good one. Now it could be that I'm mistaken and that
we are all saying the same thing. But I myself see that the devil
tried to deceive me in this matter, and thus I have so learned
my lesson from experience that I think, although I've spoken
on this topic at other times,3 I will speak of it again here that
you will proceed very carefully in this matter. And take notice
that I dare say you should not believe anyone who tells you
something else. I'll try to explain myself better than I did
elsewhere. If anyone perhaps has written what a certain person
told me, this would be good if the matter is explained at
length, but to speak of it so summarily could do much harm to
those of us who are not well informed.4
6. It will also seem to some souls that they cannot think
about the Passion, or still less about the Blessed Virgin and the
lives of the saints; the remembrance of both of these latter is so
very helpful and encouraging. I cannot imagine what such
souls are thinking of. To be always withdrawn from corporeal
things and enkindled in love is the trait of angelic spirits not of
those who live in mortal bodies. It's necessary that we speak to,
think about, and become the companions of those who having
had a mortal body accomplished such great feats for God. How
much more is it necessary not to withdraw through one's own
efforts from all our good and help which is the most sacred
humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ. I cannot believe that these
souls do so, but they just don't understand; and they will do
harm to themselves and to others. At least I assure them that
400
St. Teresa of A vila
they will not enter these last two dwelling places. For if they
lose the guide, who is the good Jesus, they will not hit upon the
right road. It will be quite an accomplishment if they remain
safely in the other dwelling places. The Lord Himself says that
He is the way; the Lord says also that He is the light and that
no one can go to the Father but through Him, and "anyone
who sees me sees my Father."5 They will say that another
meaning is given to these words. I don't know about those other
meanings; I have got along very well with this one that my soul
always feels to be true.
7. There are some souls — and there are many who have
spoken about it to me — who brought by our Lord to perfect
contemplation would like to be in that prayer always; but that
is impossible. Yet this favor of the Lord remains with them in
such a way that afterward they cannot engage as before in
discursive thought about the mysteries of the Passion and life of
Christ. I don't know the reason, but this inability is very com-
mon, for the intellect becomes less capable of meditation. I
believe the reason must be that since in meditation the whole
effort consists in seeking God and that once God is found the
soul becomes used to seeking Him again through the work of
the will, the soul doesn't want to tire itself by working with the
intellect. Likewise, it seems to me that since this generous
faculty, which is the will, is already enkindled, it wants to
avoid, if it can, using the other faculty; and it doesn't go
wrong. But to avoid this will be impossible, especially before
the soul reaches these last two dwelling places; and the soul will
lose time, for the will often needs the help of the intellect so as
to be enkindled.
8. And note this point, Sisters; it is important, and so I want
to explain it further: The soul desires to be completely oc-
cupied in love and does not want to be taken up with anything
else, but to be so occupied is impossible for it even though it
may want to; for although the will is not dead, the fire that
usually makes it burn is dying out, and someone must
necessarily blow on the fire so that heat will be given off.
Would it be good for a soul with this dryness to wait for fire to
come down from heaven to burn this sacrifice that it is making
The Interior Castle - VI: 7
401
of itself to God, as did our Father Elijah?6 No, certainly not,
nor is it right to expect miracles. The Lord works them for this
soul when He pleases, as was said and will be said further on.7
But His Majesty wants us to consider ourselves undeserving of
them because of our wretchedness, and desires that we help
ourselves in every way possible. I hold for myself that until we
die such an attitude is necessary however sublime the prayer
may be.
9. It is true that anyone whom the Lord places in the
seventh dwelling place rarely, or hardly ever, needs to make
this effort. (I will give the reason for this fact when speaking of
that dwelling place, if I remember.)8 But such a person walks
continually in an admirable way with Christ, our Lord, in
whom the divine and the human are joined and who is always
that person's companion. As for the above, when the fire in the
will that was mentioned9 is not enkindled and God's presence is
not felt, it is necessary that we seek this presence. This is what
His Majesty wants us to do, as the bride did in the Song of
Songs, 1 0 and He wants us to ask creatures who it is who made
them — as St. Augustine says, I believe, in his Meditations or
Confessions^ 1 — and not be like dunces wasting time waiting for
what was given us once before. At the beginning of the life of
prayer it may be that the Lord will not give this fire in a year,
or even in many years. His Majesty knows why; we must not
desire to know nor is there any reason why we should. Since we
know the path by which we must please God, which is that of
the commandments and counsels, we should follow it very
diligently, and think of His life and death and of the many
things we owe Him; let the rest come when the Lord desires.
10. At this point, someone may respond that he cannot
dwell on these things, and, because of what was said,12 perhaps
he will in a certain way be right. You already know that discur-
sive thinking with the intellect is one thing and representing
truths to the intellect by means of the memory is another. You
may say, perhaps, that you do not understand me, and indeed
it could be that I don't know how to explain the matter; but I
shall do the best I can. By meditation I mean much discursive
reflection with the intellect in the following way: we begin to
402
St . Teresa of A vila
think about the favor God granted us in giving us His only Son,
and we do not stop there, but go on to the mysteries of His
whole glorious life; or we begin to think about the prayer in the
garden, but the intellect doesn't stop until He is on the cross; or
we take a phase of the Passion like, let us say, the arrest, and
we proceed with this mystery considering in detail the things
there are to think of and feel about the betrayal of Judas, the
flight of the apostles, and all the rest; this kind of reflection is
an admirable and very meritorious prayer.
11. This prayer is the kind that those whom God has
brought to supernatural things and to perfect contemplation
are right in saying they cannot practice. As I have said,13 I
don't know the reason, but usually they cannot practice discur-
sive reflection. But I say that a person will not be right if he
says he does not dwell on these mysteries or often have them in
mind, especially when the Catholic Church celebrates them.
Nor is it possible for the soul to forget that it has received so
much from God, so many precious signs of love, for these are
living sparks that will enkindle it more in its love for our Lord.
But I say this person doesn't understand himself, because the
soul understands these mysteries in a more perfect manner.
The intellect represents them in such a way, and they are so
stamped on the memory, that the mere sight of the Lord fallen
to the ground in the garden with that frightful sweat is enough
to last the intellect not only an hour but many days, while it
looks with a simple gaze at who He is and how ungrateful we
have been for so much suffering. Soon the will responds even
though it may not do so with tender feelings, with the desire to
serve somehow for such a great favor and to suffer something
for One who suffered so much, and with other similar desires
relating to what the memory and intellect are dwelling upon. I
believe that for this reason a person cannot go on to further
discursive reflection on the Passion, and this inability makes
him think that he cannot think about it.
12. If he doesn't dwell on these mysteries in the way that was
mentioned, it is good that he strive to do so, for I know that do-
ing so will not impede the most sublime prayer. I don't think
it s good to fail to dwell often on these mysteries. If as a result
The Interior Castle - VI: 7
403
the Lord suspends the intellect, well and good; for even though
the soul may not so desire He will make it abandon what it was
dwelling on. And I am very certain that this procedure is not a
hindrance but a very great help toward every good; the hin-
drance would come from a great deal of work with the discur-
sive reflection I mentioned in the beginning. I hold that one
who has advanced further along cannot practice this discursive
reflection. It could be that one can, for God leads souls by
many paths. But let not those who can travel by the road of
discursive thought condemn those who cannot, or judge them
incapable of enjoying the sublime blessings that lie enclosed in
the mysteries of our good, Jesus Christ. Nor will anyone make
me think, however spiritual he may be, that he will advance by
trying to turn away from these mysteries.
13. There are some principles and even means that certain
souls use, by which it is thought that when a person begins to
experience the prayer of quiet and to relish the enjoyment and
spiritual delights given by the Lord, the important thing is to
remain always in that state of delight. Well, now, let them
believe me and not be so absorbed, as I have said elsewhere.14
Life is long, and there are in it many trials, and we need to look
at Christ our model, how He suffered them, and also at His
apostles and saints, so as to bear these trials with perfection.
Jesus is too good a companion for us to turn away from Him
and His most blessed Mother, and He is very pleased that we
grieve over His sufferings even though we sometimes leave aside
our own consolation and delight. Moreover, daughters, enjoy-
ment in prayer is not so habitual that there is not time for
everything. I would be suspicious of anyone who says this
delight is continual; I mean, who can never do what was men-
tioned. And you should be suspicious too, and strive to free
yourselves from this error and avoid such absorption with all
your strength. If your efforts aren't enough, tell the prioress so
that she might give you some task demanding such care that
this danger is removed. For if this absorption continues, it is
extremely dangerous at least for the brain and the head.
14. I believe I've explained that it is fitting for souls,
however spiritual, to take care not to flee from corporal things
404
St. Teresa of A vtla
to the extent of thinking that even the most sacred humanity
causes harm. Some quote what the Lord said to His disciples
that it was fitting that He go.15 I can't bear this. I would wager
that He didn't say it to His most Blessed Mother, because she
was firm in the faith; she knew He was God and man, and even
though she loved Him more than they did, she did so with such
perfection that His presence was a help rather than a hin-
drance. The apostles must not have been as firm then in the
faith as they were afterward and as we have reason to be now. I
tell you, daughters, that I consider this a dangerous path and
think the devil could make one lose devotion for the most Bless-
ed Sacrament.
15. The mistake it seemed to me I was making wasn't so ex-
treme, rather it consisted of not delighting so much in the
thought of our Lord Jesus Christ but in going along in that ab-
sorption, waiting for that enjoyment. And I realized clearly
that I was proceeding badly. Since it wasn't possible for me to
experience the absorption always, the mind wandered here
and there. My soul, it seems to me, was like a bird flying about
that doesn't know where to light; and it was losing a lot of time
and not making progress in virtue or improving in prayer. I
didn't understand the reason, nor would I have understood it,
in my opinion, because it seemed to me that what I was doing
was very correct, until a person with whom I was discussing my
prayer, who was a servant of God, warned me. Afterward, I
saw clearly how wrong I had been, and I never stop regretting
that there had been a time in which I failed to understand that
I could not gain much through such a great loss. And even if I
could gain, I wouldn't want any good save that acquired
through Him from whom all blessings come to us. May He be
always praised, amen.
The Interior Castle - VI: 8
405
Chapter 8
Discusses how God communicates Himself to the soul through
an intellectual vision; gives some counsels. Tells about the ef-
fects such a vision causes if it is genuine. Recommends secrecy
concerning these favors.
FOR YOU TO SEE, SISTERS, that what I have told you is
true and that the further a soul advances the more it is ac-
companied by the good Jesus, we will do well to discuss how,
when His Majesty desires, we cannot do otherwise than walk
always with Him. This is evident in the ways and modes by
which His Majesty communicates Himself to us and shows us
the love He bears us. He does this through some very wonderful
apparitions and visions. That you might not be frightened if
He grants you some of these, I want briefly to mention
something about these visions — if the Lord be pleased that I
succeed — so that we might praise Him very much even though
He may not grant them to us. We would be praising Him
because though He is filled with majesty and power He
nonetheless desires to communicate thus with a creature.
2. It will happen while the soul is heedless of any thought
about such a favor being granted to it, and though it never had
a thought that it deserved this vision, that it will feel Jesus
Christ, our Lord, beside it. Yet, it does not see Him, either
with the eyes of the body or with those of the soul. This is called
an intellectual vision; I don't know why. I saw the person1 to
whom God granted this favor, along with other favors I shall
mention further on, quite worried in the beginning because
since she didn't see anything she couldn't understand the
nature of this vision. However, she knew so certainly that it was
Jesus Christ, our Lord, who showed Himself to her in that way
that she couldn't doubt; I mean she couldn't doubt the vision
was there. As to whether it was from God or not, even though
she carried with her great effects to show that it was, she
nonetheless was afraid. She had never heard of an intellectual
vision, nor had she thought there was such a kind. But she
406
St. Teresa of A vzla
understood very clearly that it was this same Lord who often
spoke to her in the way mentioned.2 For until He granted her
this favor I am referring to, she never knew who was speaking
to her, although she understood the words.
3. I know that since she was afraid about this vision (for it
isn't like the imaginative one that passes quickly, but lasts
many days and sometimes even more than a year), she went
very worried to her confessor. He asked her how since she
didn't see anything she knew that it was our Lord; what kind of
face He had.3 She told him she didn't know, that she didn't see
any face, and that she couldn't say any more than what she had
said, that what she did know was that He was the one who
spoke to her and that the vision had not been fancied. And
although some persons put many fears in her, she was still fre-
quently unable to doubt, especially when the Lord said to her:
"Do not be afraid, it is L"4 These words had so much power
that from then on she could not doubt the vision, and she was
left very much strengthened and happy over such good com-
pany. She saw clearly that the vision was a great help toward
walking with a habitual remembrance of God and a deep con-
cern about avoiding anything displeasing to Him, for it seemed
to her that He was always looking at her. And each time she
wanted to speak with His Majesty in prayer, and even outside
of it, she felt He was so near that He couldn't fail to hear her.
But she didn't hear words spoken whenever she wanted; only
unexpectedly when they were necessary. She felt He was walk-
ing at her right side, but she didn't experience this with those
senses by which we can know that a person is beside us. This vi-
sion comes in another unexplainable, more delicate way. But it
is so certain and leaves much certitude; even much more than
the other visions do because in the visions that come through
the senses one can be deceived, but not in the intellectual vi-
sion. For this latter brings great interior benefits and effects
that couldn't be present if the experience were caused by
melancholy; nor would the devil produce so much good; nor
would the soul go about with such peace and continual desires
to please God, and with so much contempt for everything that
does not bring it to Him. Afterward she understood clearly that
The Interior Castle - VI: 8
407
the vision was not caused by the devil, which became more and
more clear as time went on.
4. Nonetheless, I know that at times she went about very
much frightened; at other times, with the most intense confu-
sion, for she didn't know why so much good had come to her.
We were so united, she and I, that nothing took place in her
soul of which I was ignorant; so I can be a good witness. And
believe me, all I have said of this matter is the truth.
It is a favor from the Lord that she bears in herself the most
intense confusion and humility. If the vision were from the
devil, the effects would be contrary. And since the vision is
something definitely understood to be a gift from God and
human effort would not be sufficient to produce this ex-
perience, the one who receives it can in no way think it is his
own good but a good given through the hand of God. And even
though, in my opinion, some of those favors that were men-
tioned are greater, this favor bears with it a particular
knowledge of God. This continual companionship gives rise to
a most tender love for His Majesty, to some desires even greater
than those mentioned5 to surrender oneself totally to His serv-
ice, and to a great purity of conscience because the presence at
its side makes the soul pay attention to everything. For even
though we already know that God is present in all we do, our
nature is such that we neglect to think of this. Here the truth
cannot be forgotten, for the Lord awakens the soul to His
presence beside it. And even the favors that were mentioned6
became much more common since the soul goes about almost
continually with actual love for the One who it sees and
understands is at its side.
5. In sum, with respect to the soul's gain, the vision is seen
to be a most wonderful and highly valuable favor. The soul
thanks the Lord that He gives the vision without any merits on
its part and would not exchange that blessing for any earthly
treasure or delight. Thus, when the Lord is pleased to take the
vision away, the soul feels very much alone. But all the efforts it
could possibly make are of little avail in bringing back that
companionship. The Lord gives it when He desires, and it can-
408
St. Teresa of Avila
not be acquired. Sometimes also the vision is of some saint, and
this too is most beneficial.
6. You will ask how if nothing is seen one knows that it is
Christ, or a saint, or His most glorious Mother. This, the soul
will not know how to explain, nor can it understand how it
knows, but it does know with the greatest certitude. It seems
easier for the soul to know when the Lord speaks; but what is
more amazing is that it knows the saint, who doesn't speak but
seemingly is placed there by the Lord as a help to it and as its
companion. Thus there are other spiritual things that one
doesn't know how to explain, but through them one knows how
lowly our nature is when there is question of understanding the
sublime grandeurs of God, for we are incapable even of
understanding these spiritual things. But let the one to whom
His Majesty gives these favors receive them with admiration
and praise for Him. Thus He grants the soul particular graces
through these favors. For since the favors are not granted to
all, they should be highly esteemed; and one should strive to
perform greater services since God in so many ways helps the
soul to perform these services. Hence the soul doesn't consider
itself to be any greater because of this, and it thinks that it is
the one who serves God the least among all who are in the
world. This soul thinks that it is more obligated to Him than
anyone, and any fault it commits pierces to the core of its be-
ing, and very rightly so.
7. These effects from the vision that were mentioned7 and
that are left in the soul can be recognized by anyone of you
whom the Lord has brought by this road. Through them you
can know that the vision is not an illusion or a fancy. As I have
said,8 I hold that it would be impossible for a vision caused by
the devil to last so long and benefit the soul so remarkably,
clothing it with so much interior peace. It is not customary for
something so evil to do something so good, nor can the devil
even though he may want to. If he could, there would at once
be some outward show of self-esteem and thought of being bet-
ter than others. But that the soul goes about always so attached
to God and with its thoughts so occupied in Him, causes the
devil such rage that even though he might try he would not
The Interior Castle - VI: 8
409
often return. And God is so faithful9 that He will not allow the
devil much leeway with a soul that doesn't aim for anything
else than to please His Majesty and spend its life for His honor
and glory; He will at once ordain how it may be undeceived.
8. My theme is and will be that since, as a result of these
favors from God, the soul walks in the way here mentioned, His
Majesty will make it be the one to gain. And if He sometimes
permits the devil to tempt the soul, He will so ordain that the
evil one will be defeated. As a result, daughters, if someone
should walk along this road, as I have said, do not be aston-
ished. It is good that there be fear and that we walk with more
care. Nor should you be self-confident, for since you are so
favored you could grow more careless. If you do not see in
yourselves the effects that were mentioned,10 it will be a sign
the favor is not from God. It is good that at the beginning you
speak about this vision under the seal of confession with a very
learned man, for learned men will give us light. Or, with some
very spiritual person, if there be one available; if there isn't, it's
better to speak with a very learned man. Or with both a
spiritual person and a learned man if both are at hand. And
should they tell you the vision is fancied, do not be concerned,
for the fancy can do little good or evil. Commend yourself to
the divine Majesty that He not let you be deceived. If they
should tell you your vision is from the devil, it will be a greater
trial, although no one will say this if he is indeed learned and
the effects mentioned are present. But if he says so, I know that
the Lord Himself who walks with you will console you, assure
you, and give the confessor light that he may give it to you.
9. If the confessor is a person whom, although he practices
prayer, the Lord has not led by this path, he will at once be
frightened and condemn it. For this reason I advise you to have
a confessor who is very learned and, if possible, also spiritual.
The prioress should give permission for such consultation.
Even though, judging by the good life you live, you may be
walking securely, the prioress will be obligated to have you
speak with a confessor so that both you and she may walk
securely. And once you have spoken with these persons, be
quiet and don't try to confer about the matter with others; at
410
St. Teresa of Avila
times the devil causes some fears so excessive that they force the
soul, without its having anything really to fear, not to be
satisfied with one consultation. If, especially, the confessor has
little experience, and the soul sees that he is fearful, and he
himself makes it continue to speak of the matter, that which by
rights should have remained very secret is made public, and
this soul is persecuted and tormented. For while it thinks the
matter is secret, it finds out that the visions are publicly known.
As a result many troublesome things happen to it and could
happen to its religious order, the way these times are going.11
Hence a great deal of discretion is necessary in this matter, and
I highly recommend it to the prioresses.
10. A prioress should not think that since a Sister has ex-
periences like these she is better than the others. The Lord
leads each one as He sees is necessary. This path is a prepara-
tion for becoming a very good servant of God, provided that
one cooperate. But sometimes God leads the weakest along this
path. And so there is nothing in it to approve or condemn. One
should consider the virtues and who it is who serves our Lord
with greater mortification, humility, and purity of conscience;
this is the one who will be the holiest. Yet, little can be known
here below with certitude; we must wait until the true Judge
gives to each one what is merited. In heaven we will be sur-
prised to see how different His judgment is from what we can
understand here below. May He be forever praised, amen.
Chapter 9
Treats of how the Lord communicates with the soul through an
imaginative vision; gives careful warning against desiring to
walk by this path and the reasons for such a warning. The
chapter is very beneficial.
NOW LET US COME to imaginative visions, for they say
the devil meddles more in these than in the ones men-
tioned,1 and it must be so. But when these imaginative visions
are from our Lord, they in some way seem to me more
The Interior Castle - VI: 9
411
beneficial because they are in greater conformity with our
nature. I'm excluding from that comparison the visions the
Lord shows in the last dwelling place; no other visions are com-
parable to those.
2. Well now let us consider what I have told you in the
preceding chapter2 about how this Lord is present. It is as
though we had in a gold vessel a precious stone having the
highest value and curative powers. We know very certainly that
it is there although we have never seen it. But the powers of the
stone do not cease to benefit us provided that we carry it with
us.3 Although we have never seen this stone, we do not on that
account cease to prize it, because through experience we have
seen that it has cured us of some illnesses for which it is suited.
But we do not dare look at it or open the reliquary, nor can we,
because the manner of opening this reliquary is known solely
by the one to whom the jewel belongs. Even though he lent us
the jewel for our own benefit, he has kept the key to the reli-
quary and will open it, as something belonging to him when he
desires to show us the contents, and he will take the jewel back
when he wants to, as he does.
3. Well, let us say now that sometimes he wants to open the
reliquary suddenly in order to do good to the one to whom he
has lent it. Clearly, a person will afterward be much happier
when he remembers the admirable splendor of the stone, and
hence it will remain more deeply engrained in his memory. So
it happens here: when our Lord is pleased to give more delight
to this soul, He shows it clearly His most sacred humanity in the
way He desires; either as He was when He went about in the
world or as He is after His resurrection. And even though the
vision happens so quickly that we could compare it to a streak
of lightning, this most glorious image remains so engraved on
the imagination that I think it would be impossible to erase it
until it is seen by the soul in that place where it will be enjoyed
without end.
4. Although I say "image" let it be understood that, in the
opinion of the one who sees it, it is not a painting but truly
alive, and sometimes the Lord is speaking to the soul and even
revealing great secrets. But you must understand that even
412
St. Teresa of Avila
though the soul is detained by this vision for some while, it can
no more fix its gaze on the vision than it can on the sun. Hence
this vision always passes very quickly, but not because its
brilliance is painful, like the sun's, to the inner eye. It is the in-
ner eye that sees all of this. I wouldn't know how to say
anything about a vision that comes through the exterior sense
of sight, because this person mentioned, of whom I can speak
so particularly,4 had not undergone such a vision, and one can-
not be sure about what one has not experienced. The brilliance
of this inner vision is like that of an infused light coming from a
sun covered by something as transparent as a properly-cut dia-
mond. The garment seems made of a fine Dutch linen. Almost
every time God grants this favor the soul is in rapture, for in its
lowliness it cannot suffer so frightening a sight.
5. I say "frightening" because although the Lord's presence
is the most beautiful and delightful a person could imagine
even were he to live and labor a thousand years thinking about
it (for it far surpasses the limitations of our imagination or in-
tellect), this presence bears such extraordinary majesty that it
causes the soul extreme fright. Certainly it's not necessary here
to ask how the soul knows, without having been told, who the
Lord is, for it is clearly revealed that He is the Lord of heaven
and earth. This is not true of earthly kings, for in themselves
they would be held in little account were it not for their
retinue, or unless they tell who they are.
6. O Lord, how we Christians fail to know you! What will
that day be when You come to judge, for even when You come
here with so much friendliness to speak with your bride, she ex-
periences such fear when she looks at You? Oh, daughters,
what will it be like when He says in so severe a voice, depart you
who are cursed by My Father}5
7. As a result of this favor granted by God, let us keep in
mind the above thought, for it will be no small blessing. Even
St. Jerome, though he was a saint, kept it in mind. And thus all
that we suffer here in the strict observance of the religious life
will seem to us nothing; for, however long it lasts, it lasts but a
moment in comparison with eternity. I tell you truthfully that
as wretched as I am I have never had fear of the torments of
The Interior Castle - VI: 9
413
hell, for they would be nothing if compared to what I recall the
condemned will experience upon seeing the anger in these eyes
of the Lord, so beautiful, meek, and kind. It doesn't seem my
heart could suffer such a sight. I've felt this way all my life.
How much more will the person fear this sight to whom the
Lord has thus represented Himself since the experience is so
powerful that it carries that person out of his senses. The
reason the soul is suspended must be that the Lord helps its
weakness which is joined to His greatness in this sublime com-
munication.
8. When the soul can remain a long while gazing upon this
Lord, I don't believe it will be experiencing a vision but some
intense reflection in which some likeness is fashioned in the im-
agination; compared with a vision this likeness is similar to
something dead.
9. It happens to some persons (and I know this is true, for
they have spoken with me — and not just three or four but
many) that their imagination is so weak, or their intellect so ef-
fective, or I don't know what the cause is, that they become ab-
sorbed in their imagination to the extent that everything they
think about seems to be clearly seen. Yet, if they were to see a
real vision, they would know without any doubt whatsoever
their mistake, for they themselves are composing what they see
with their imagination. This imagining doesn't have any effect
afterward, but they are left cold — much more than if they were
to see a devotional image. It's very wise not to pay any attention
to this kind of imagining and thus what was seen is forgotten
much more than a dream.
10. In the vision we are dealing with the above is not so:
rather, while the soul is very far from thinking that anything
will be seen, or having the thought even pass through its mind,
suddenly the vision is represented to it all at once and stirs all
the faculties and senses with a great fear and tumult so as to
place them afterward in that happy peace. Just as there was a
tempest and tumult that came from heaven when St. Paul was
hurled to the ground,6 here in this interior world there is a
great stirring; and in a moment, as I have said,7 all remains
calm, and this soul is left so well instructed about so many
414
St. Teresa of Avila
great truths that it has no need of any other master. For
without any effort on the soul's part, true Wisdom has taken
away the mind's dullness and leaves a certitude, which lasts for
some time, that this favor is from God. However much the soul
is told the contrary, others cannot then cause it fear that there
could be any deception. Afterward, if the confessor puts fear in
it, God allows it to waver and think that because of its sins it
could possibly be deceived. But it does not believe this; rather,
as I have said concerning those other things,8 the devil can stir
up doubts, as he does with temptations against matters of
faith, that do not allow the soul to be firm in its certitude. But
the more the devil fights against that certitude, the more cer-
tain the soul is that the devil could not have left it with so many
blessings, as they really are, for he cannot do so much in the in-
terior of the soul. The devil can present a vision, but not with
this truth and majesty and these results.
11. Since the confessors cannot witness this vision — nor,
perhaps, can it be explained by the one to whom God grants
this favor — they fear and rightly so. Thus it's necessary to pro-
ceed with caution, wait for the time when these apparitions will
bear fruit, and move along little by little looking for the
humility they leave in the soul and the fortitude in virtue. If
the vision is from the devil, he will soon show a sign, and will be
caught in a thousand lies. If the confessor has experience and
has undergone these experiences, he needs little time for
discernment; immediately in the account given he will see
whether the vision is from God or the imagination or the devil,
especially if His Majesty has given him the gift of discernment
of spirits. If he has this latter as well as learning, even though
he may have no experience, he will recognize the true vision
very well.
12. What is necessary, Sisters, is that you proceed very
openly and truthfully with your confessor. I don't mean in
regard to telling your sins, for that is obvious, but in giving an
account of your prayer. If you do not give such an account, I
am not sure you are proceeding well, nor that it is God who is
teaching you. He is very fond of our speaking as truthfully and
clearly to the one who stands in His place as we would to Him
The Interior Castle - VI: 9
415
and of our desiring that the confessor understand all our
thoughts and even more our deeds however small they be. If
you do this you don't have to go about disturbed or worried.
Even if the vision is not from God, it will do you no harm if you
have humility and a good conscience. His Majesty knows how
to draw good from evil, and the road along which the devil
wanted to make you go astray will be to your greater gain.
Thinking that God grants you such wonderful favors, you will
force yourselves to please Him more and be always remember-
ing His image. As a very learned man said,9 the devil is a great
painter and that if the devil were to show him a living image of
the Lord, he wouldn't be grieved but allow the image to
awaken his devotion, and that he would thereby wage war on
the devil with that evil -one's own wickedness. Even though a
painter may be a very poor one, a person shouldn't on that ac-
count fail to reverence the image he makes if it is a painting of
our every Good.
13. That learned man was strongly opposed to the advice
some gave about making the fig10 when seeing a vision, for he
used to say that wherever we see a painting of our King we
must reverence it. And I see that he is right, because even here
below a similar action would be regretted: If a person knew
that before a portrait of himself another whom he loved
manifested such contempt, he would be unhappy about the
act. Well how much greater reason there is always to have
respect for any crucifix or portrait we see of our Emperor?
Although I have written of this elsewhere,11 I am glad to write
of it here, for I saw that a person went about in distress when
ordered to use this remedy.12 I don't know who invented a
thing that could so torment a person who wasn't able to do
anything else than obey, if the confessor gave her this counsel,
because she thought she would go astray if she didn't obey. My
counsel is that even though a confessor gives you such advice,
you should humbly tell him this reason and not accept his
counsel. The good reasons given me by that learned man I
found very acceptable.
14. A wonderful benefit the soul draws from this favor of
the Lord is that when it thinks of Him or of His life and Passion
416
St. Teresa of Avila
it remembers His most meek and beautiful countenance. This
remembrance is the greatest consolation, just as here below it
would be far more consoling to see a person who has done a
great deal of good for us than someone we had never met. I tell
you that so delightful a remembrance brings much consolation
and benefit.
Many are the other blessings these visions bring, but since so
much has been said about such effects, and more will be said, I
don't want to tire myself, or tire you, but advise you strongly
that when you learn or hear that God grants these favors to
souls you never beseech Him or desire Him to lead you by this
path.
15. Although this path may seem to you very good, one to
be highly esteemed and reverenced, desiring it is inappropriate
for certain reasons: First, the desire to be given what you have
never deserved shows a lack of humility, and so I believe that
whoever desires this path will not have much humility. Just as
the thoughts of a lowly workman are far from any desire to be
king since such a thing seems impossible to him, and he thinks
he doesn't deserve it, so too with the humble person in similar
matters. I believe that these favors will never be given to those
who desire them, because before granting them God gives a
deep self-knowledge. For how will he who has such desires
understand in truth that he is being granted a very great favor
at not being in hell? Second, such a person will very certainly
be deceived or in great danger because the devil needs nothing
more than to see a little door open before playing a thousand
tricks on us. Third, the imagination itself, when there is a great
desire, makes a person think that he sees what he desires and
hears it, as with those who desiring something during the day
and thinking a great deal about it happen to dream of it at
night. Fourth, it would be extremely bold to want to choose a
path while not knowing what suits me more. Such a matter
should be left to the Lord who knows me — for He leads me
along the path that is fitting — so that in all things I might do
His will. Fifth, do you think the trials suffered by those to
whom the Lord grants these favors are few? No, they are ex-
The Interior Castle - VI: 9
417
traordinary and of many kinds. How do you know you would
be able to bear them? Sixth, by the very way you think you will
gain, you will lose, as Saul did by being king.13
16. In sum, Sisters, besides these reasons there are others;
believe me, the safest way is to want only what God wants. He
knows more than we ourselves do, and He loves us. Let us place
ourselves in His hands so that His will may be done in us, and
we cannot err if with a determined will we always maintain this
attitude. And you must note that greater glory is not merited
by receiving a large number of these favors; rather, on the con-
trary the recipients of these favors are obliged to serve more
since they have received more. The Lord doesn't take away
from us that which, because it lies within our power, is more
meritorious. So there are many holy persons who have never
received one of these favors; and others who receive them but
are not holy. And do not think the favors are given continually;
rather, for each time the Lord grants them there are many
trials. Thus, the soul doesn't think about receiving more but
about how to serve for what it has received.
17. It is true that this vision must be a powerful help toward
possessing the virtues with higher perfection, but the person
who has gained them at the cost of his own labors will merit
much more. I know a person or two persons — one was a
man — to whom the Lord had granted some of these favors,
who were so desirous of serving His Majesty at their own cost,
without these great delights, and so anxious to suffer that they
complained to our Lord because He bestowed the favors on
them, and if they could decline receiving these gifts they would
do so.14 I am speaking not of the delights coming from these vi-
sions — for in the end these persons see that the visions are very
beneficial and to be highly esteemed — but of those the Lord
gives in contemplation.
18. It is true that these desires also, in my opinion, are
supernatural and characteristic of souls very much inflamed in
love. Such souls would want the Lord to see that they do not
serve Him for pay. Thus, as I have said,15 they never, as a
motive for making the effort to serve more, think about receiv-
418 St. Teresa of Avila
ing glory for anything they do. But their desire is to satisfy love,
and it is love's nature to serve with deeds in a thousand ways. If
it could, love would want to discover ways of consuming the
soul within itself. And if it were necessary to be always an- '
nihilated for the greater honor of God, love would do so very
eagerly. May He be praised forever, amen. For in lowering
Himself to commune with such miserable creatures, He wants
to show His greatness.
Chapter 10
Tells about other favors God grants the soul, in a way different
from those just mentioned, and of the great profit that comes
from them.
IN MANY WAYS does the Lord communicate Himself to the
soul through these apparitions. He grants some of them when
it is afflicted; others, when a great trial is about to come; others,
so that His Majesty might take His delight in the soul and give
delight to it. There's no reason to go into further detail about
each, since my intention is only to explain the different favors
there are on this road, insofar as I understand them. Thus you
will know, Sisters, their nature and their effects, lest we fancy
that everything imagined is a vision. When what you see is an
authentic vision, you won't go about disturbed or afflicted if you
understand that such a thing is possible. The devil gains much
and is extremely pleased to see a soul afflicted and disquieted,
for he knows that disturbance impedes it from being totally oc-
cupied in loving and praising God.
His Majesty communicates Himself in other ways that are
more sublime, and less dangerous because the devil, I believe,
will be unable to counterfeit them. Thus, since these latter are
something very secret, it is difficult to explain them, whereas
the imaginative visions are easier to explain.
2. It will happen, when the Lord is pleased, that while the
soul is in prayer and very much in its senses a suspension will
suddenly be experienced in which the Lord will reveal deep
The Interior Castle - VI: 10
419
secrets. It seems the soul sees these secrets in God Himself, for
they are not visions of the most sacred humanity. Although I
say the soul sees, it doesn't see anything, for the favor is not an
imaginative vision but very much an intellectual one. In this vi-
sion it is revealed how all things are seen in God and how He
has them all in Himself.1 This favor is most beneficial. Even
though it passes in a moment, it remains deeply engraved in
the soul and causes the greatest confusion. The evil of offend-
ing God is seen more clearly, because while being in God
Himself (I mean being within Him) we commit great evils. I
want to draw a comparison — if I succeed — so as to explain this
to you. For although what I said is true, and we hear it often,
either we do not pay attention to this truth or we do not want
to understand it. If the matter were understood, it doesn't
seem it would be possible to be so bold.
3. Let's suppose that God is like an immense and beautiful
dwelling or palace and that this palace, as I say, is God
Himself.2 Could the sinner, perhaps, so as to engage in his evil
deeds leave this palace? No, certainly not; rather, within the
palace itself, that is within God Himself, the abominations, in-
decent actions, and evil deeds committed by us sinners take
place. Oh, frightful thought, worthy of deep reflection, and
very beneficial for those of us who know little. We don't com-
pletely understand these truths, for otherwise it wouldn't be
possible to be so foolishly audacious! Let us consider, Sisters,
the great mercy and compassion of God in not immediately
destroying us there, and be extremely thankful to Him, and let
us be ashamed to feel resentment about anything that is said or
done against us. The greatest evil of the world is that God, our
Creator, suffers so many evil things from His creatures within
His very self and that we sometimes resent a word said in our
absence and perhaps with no evil intention.
4. Oh, human misery! When, daughters, will we imitate this
great God? Oh, let us not think we are doing anything by suf-
fering injuries, but we should very eagerly endure everything,
and let us love the one who offends us since this great God has
not ceased to love us even though we have offended Him very
420
St. Teresa of Avila
much. Thus the Lord is right in wanting all to pardon the
wrongs done to them.3
I tell you, daughters, that even though this vision passes
quickly it is a great favor from our Lord if one desires to benefit
from it by keeping it habitually present.
5. It also happens very quickly and ineffably that God will
show within Himself a truth that seems to leave in obscurity all
those there are in creatures, and one understands very clearly
that God alone is Truth, unable to lie.4 What David says in a
psalm about every man being a liar is clearly understood.5
However frequently the verse may be heard, it is never
understood as it is in this vision. God is everlasting Truth. I am
reminded of Pilate, how he was often questioning our Lord
when during the Passion he asked Him, "What is truth?"6 and of
the little we understand here below about this supreme Truth.
6. I would like to be able to explain more about this, but it
is unexplainable. Let us conclude, Sisters, that in order to live
in conformity with our God and Spouse in something, it will be
well if we always study diligently how to walk in this truth. I'm
not merely saying that we should not tell lies, for in that
regard, glory to God, I already notice that you take great care
in these houses not to tell a lie for anything. I'm saying that we
should walk in truth before God and people in as many ways as
possible. Especially, there should be no desire that others con-
sider us better than we are. And in our works we should at-
tribute to God what is His and to ourselves what is ours and
strive to draw out the truth in everything. Thus, we shall have
little esteem for this world, which is a complete lie and
falsehood, and as such will not endure.
7 . Once I was pondering why our Lord was so fond of this
virtue of humility, and this thought came to me — in my opin-
ion not as a result of reflection but suddenly: It is because God
is supreme Truth; and to be humble is to walk in truth, for it is
a very deep truth that of ourselves we have nothing good but
only misery and nothingness. Whoever does not understand
this walks in falsehood. The more anyone understands it the
more he pleases the supreme Truth because he is walking in
The Interior Castle - VI: 11
421
truth. Please God, Sisters, we will be granted the favor never to
leave this path of self-knowledge, amen.
8. Our Lord grants these favors to the soul because, as to
one to whom He is truly betrothed, one who is already deter-
mined to do His will in everything, He desires to give it some
knowledge of how to do His will and of His grandeurs. There's
no reason to deal with more than these two things I mentioned7
since they seem to me very beneficial. In similar things there is
nothing to fear; rather, the Lord should be praised because He
gives them. The devil, in my opinion, and even one's own im-
agination have little capacity at this level, and so the soul is left
with profound satisfaction.
Chapter 11
Treats of some desires God gives the soul that are so powerful
and vehement they place it in danger of death. Treats also of
the benefits caused by this favor the Lord grants.
DO YOU THINK THAT all these favors the Spouse has be-
stowed on the soul will be sufficient to satisfy the little dove
or butterfly — don't think I have forgotten it — so that it may
come to rest in the place where it will die? No, certainly not;
rather this little butterfly is much worse. Even though it may
have been receiving these favors for many years, it always moans
and goes about sorrowful because they leave it with greater pain.
The reason is that since it is getting to know ever more the
grandeurs of its God and sees itself so distant and far from en-
joying Him, the desire for the Lord increases much more; also,
love increases in the measure the soul discovers how much this
great God and Lord deserves to be loved. And this desire con-
tinues gradually growing in these years so that it reaches a
point of suffering as great as that I shall now speak of. I have
said "years" so as to be in line with the experience of that per-
son I've mentioned here,1 for I well understand that one must
not put limits on God; in a moment He can bring a soul to the
422
St. Teresa of Avila
lofty experience mentioned here. His Majesty has the power to
do whatever He wants and is eager to do many things for us.
2. Well, here is what happens sometimes to a soul that ex-
periences these anxious longings, tears, sighs, and great im-
pulses that were mentioned2 (for all of these seem to proceed
from our love with deep feelings, but they are all nothing in
comparison with this other experience that I'm going to explain,
for they resemble a smoking fire that though painful can be en-
dured). While this soul is going about in this manner, burning
up within itself, a blow is felt from elsewhere (the soul doesn't
understand from where or how). The blow comes often through
a sudden thought or word about death's delay. Or the soul will
feel pierced by a fiery arrow.3 I don't say that there is an arrow,
but whatever the experience, the soul realizes clearly that the
feeling couldn't come about naturally. Neither is the experience
that of a blow, although I said "blow"; but it causes a sharp
wound. And, in my opinion, it isn't felt where earthly sufferings
are felt, but in the very deep and intimate part of the soul,
where this sudden flash of lightning reduces to dust everything it
finds in this earthly nature of ours; for while this experience lasts
nothing can be remembered about our being. In an instant the
experience so binds the faculties that they have no freedom for
anything except those things that will make this pain increase.
3. I wouldn't want what I say to appear to be an exaggera-
tion. Indeed, I see that my words fall short because the ex-
perience is unexplainable. It is an enrapturing of the faculties
and senses away from everything that is not a help, as I said, to
feeling this affliction. For the intellect is very alive to
understanding the reason why the soul feels far from God; and
His Majesty helps at that time with a vivid knowledge of
Himself in such a way that the pain increases to a point that
makes the one who experiences it begin to cry aloud. Though
she is a person who has suffered and is used to suffering severe
pains, she cannot then do otherwise. This feeling is not in the
body, as was said,4 but in the interior part of the soul. As a
result, this person understood how much more severe the feel-
ings of the soul are than those of the body, and she reflected
that such must be the nature of the sufferings of souls in
The Interior Castle - VI: 11
423
purgatory, for the fact that these souls have no body doesn't
keep them from suffering much more than they do through all
the bodily sufferings they endure here on earth.
4. I saw a person in this condition; truly she thought she was
dying, and this was not so surprising because certainly there is
great danger of death.5 And thus, even though the experience
lasts a short while, it leaves the body very disjointed, and dur-
ing that time the heart beat is as slow as it would be if a person
were about to render his soul to God. This is no exaggeration,
for the natural heat fails, and the fire so burns the soul that
with a little more intensity God would have fulfilled the soul's
desires. This is true not because a person feels little or much
pain in the body; although it is disjointed, as I said, in such a
way that for three or four days afterward one feels great suffer-
ings and doesn't even have the strength to write. And it even
seems to me always that the body is left weaker. The reason one
doesn't feel the pain must be that the interior feeling of the
soul is so much greater that one doesn't pay any attention to
the body. When one experiences a very sharp bodily pain,
other bodily pains are hardly felt even though there may be
many. I have indeed experienced this. With the presence of
this spiritual pain, I don't believe that physical pain would be
felt, little or much, even if the body were cut in pieces.
5. You will tell me that this feeling is an imperfection and
ask why the soul doesn't conform to the will of God since it is so
surrendered to Him. Until now it could do this, and has spent
its life doing so. As for now, the reasoning faculty is in such a
condition that the soul is not the master of it, nor can the soul
think of anything else than of why it is grieving, of how it is ab-
sent from its Good, and of why it should want to live. It feels a
strange solitude because no creature in all the earth provides it
company, nor do I believe would any heavenly creature, not
being the One whom it loves; rather, everything torments it.
But the soul sees that it is like a person hanging, who cannot
support himself on any earthly thing; nor can it ascend to
heaven. On fire with this thirst, it cannot get to the water; and
the thirst is not one that is endurable but already at such a
point that nothing will take it away. Nor does the soul desire
424
St. Teresa of Avila
that the thirst be taken away save by that water of which our
Lord spoke to the Samaritan woman.6 Yet no one gives such
water to the soul.
6. Oh, God help me! Lord, how You afflict Your lovers! But
everything is small in comparison with what You give them
afterward. It's natural that what is worth much costs much.
Moreover, if the suffering is to purify this soul so that it might
enter the seventh dwelling place— just as those who will enter
heaven must be cleansed in purgatory — it is as small as a drop
of water in the sea. Furthermore, in spite of all this torment
and affliction, which cannot be surpassed, I believe, by any
earthly afflictions (for this person had suffered many bodily as
well as spiritual pains, but they all seemed nothing in com-
parison with this suffering), the soul feels that the pain is
precious; so precious — it understands very well — that one
could not deserve it. However, this awareness is not of a kind
that alleviates the suffering in any way. But with this
knowledge, the soul suffers the pain very willingly and would
suffer it all its life, if God were to be thereby served; although
the soul would not then die once but be always dying, for truly
the suffering is no less than death.
7. Well, let us consider, Sisters, those who are in hell, who do
not have this conformity or this consolation and spiritual delight
which is placed by God in the soul; nor do they see that their suf-
fering is beneficial, but they always suffer more and more. The
torments of the soul are so much more severe than those of the
body, and the torment souls in hell suffer is incomparably
greater than the suffering we have here mentioned, and must, it
is seen, last forever and ever. What, then, will the suffering of
these unfortunate souls be? And what can we do or suffer in so
short a life that would amount to anything if we were thereby to
free ourselves of those terrible and eternal torments? I tell you it
would be impossible to explain how keenly felt is the suffering of
the soul, and how different it is from that of the body, if one had
not experienced these things. And the Lord Himself desires that
we understand this so that we may know the extraordinary debt
we owe Him for bringing us to a state in which through His mer-
cy we hope He will free us and pardon our sins.
The Interior Castle - VI: 11
425
8. Well, to return to what we were dealing with7 — for we
left this soul with much pain — this pain lasts only a short while
in such intensity. At the most it will last three or four hours, in
my opinion, because if it were to last a long while natural
weakness would not be able to endure it unless by a miracle. It
has happened that the experience lasted no more than a
quarter of an hour but left the soul in pieces. Truly, that time
the person lost her senses completely, and the pain came in its
rigor merely from her hearing a word about life not ending.
This happened while she was engaged in conversation during
Easter week, the last day of the octave, after she had spent all
of Easter in so much dryness she almost didn't know it was
Easter. In no way can the soul resist. It can no more do so than
it can, if thrown in a fire, stop flames from having heat and
burning it. This feeling is not one that can be concealed from
others, but those who are present are aware of the great danger
in which the person lies, although they cannot be witnesses to
what is taking place interiorly. True, they provide some com-
pany, as though they were shadows; and so, like shadows, do
all earthly things appear to that person.
9. And that you realize, in case you might sometime have
this experience, what is due to our weakness, it happens at
times that while in that state, as you have seen, the soul dies
with the desire to die. For the fire afflicts so much that seem-
ingly hardly anything keeps the soul from leaving the body.
The soul truly fears and lest it end up dying would want the
pain to abate. The soul indeed understands that this fear is
from natural weakness, because on the other hand its desire to
die is not taken away. Nor can a remedy be found to remove
this pain until the Lord Himself takes it away, usually by
means of a great rapture, or with some vision, where the true
Comforter consoles and strengthens the soul that it might
desire to live as long as God wills.
10. This experience is a painful one, but the soul is left with
the most beneficial effects, and fear of the trials that can come
its way is lost. When compared to the painful feeling ex-
perienced in the soul, the trials don't seem to amount to
anything. The benefits are such that one would be pleased to
426
St. Teresa of A vila
suffer the pain often. But one can in no way do this, nor is
there any means for suffering the experience again. The soul
must wait until the Lord desires to give this favor, just as there
is no way to resist it of remove it when it comes. The soul is left
with greater contempt for the world than before because it sees
that nothing in the world was any help to it in that torment,
and it is much more detached from creatures because it now
sees that only the Creator can console and satisfy it. And it has
greater fear of offending Him, taking more care not to do so,
because it sees that He can also torment as well as console.
11. Two experiences, it seems to me, which lie on this
spiritual path, put a person in danger of death: the one is this
pain, for it truly is a danger, and no small one; the other is
overwhelming joy and delight, which reaches so extraordinary
a peak that indeed the soul, I think, swoons to the point that it
is hardly kept from leaving the body — indeed, its happiness
could not be considered small.
Here you will see, Sisters, whether I was right in saying that
courage is necessary,8 and whether when you ask the Lord for
these favors He is right in answering as He did the sons of
Zebedee, are you able to drink the chalice?9
12. I believe all of us, Sisters, will answer yes; and very right-
ly so, for His Majesty gives strength to the one He sees has need
of it. He defends these souls in all things; when they are
persecuted and criticized He answers for them as He did for the
Magdalene10 — if not through words, through deeds. And in
the very end, before they die, He will pay for everything at
once, as you will now see. May He be blessed forever, and may
all creatures praise Him, amen.
THE SEVENTH DWELLING PLACES
Contains Four Chapters
Chapter 1
Treats of the great favors God grants souls that have entered
the seventh dwelling places. Tells how in her opinion there is a
certain difference between the soul and the spirit, although the
soul is all one. The chapter contains noteworthy doctrine.
YOU WILL THINK, SISTERS, that since so much has been
said about this spiritual path it will be impossible for
anything more to be said. Such a thought would be very
foolish. Since the greatness of God is without limits, His works
are too. Who will finish telling of His mercies and grandeurs?
To do so is impossible, and thus do not be surprised at what
was said, and will be said, because it is but a naught in com-
parison to what there is to tell of God. He grants us a great
favor in having communicated these things to a person through
whom we can know about them. Thus the more we know about
His communication to creatures the more we will praise His
grandeur and make the effort to have esteem for souls in which
the Lord delights so much. Each one of us has a soul, but since
we do not prize souls as is deserved by creatures made in the
image of God we do not understand the deep secrets that lie in
them.
May it please His Majesty, if He may thereby be served, to
move my pen and give me understanding of how I might say
something about the many things to be said and which God
reveals to the one whom He places in this dwelling place. I have
427
428
St. Teresa of A vila
earnestly begged this of His Majesty since He knows that my in-
tention is to make known His mercies that His name may be
more praised and glorified.
2. I hope, not for myself but for you, Sisters, that He may
grant me this favor. Thus you will understand how important
it is for you not to impede your Spouse's celebration of this
spiritual marriage with your souls, since this marriage brings so
many blessings, as you will see. O great God! It seems that a
creature as miserable as I should tremble to deal with a thing
so foreign to what I deserve to understand. And, indeed, I have
been covered with confusion wondering if it might not be bet-
ter to conclude my discussion of this dwelling place with just a
few words. For it seems to me that others will think I know
about it through experience. This makes me extremely
ashamed; for, knowing what I am, such a thought is a terrible
thing. On the other hand, the thought of neglecting to explain
this dwelling place seemed to me to be a temptation and
weakness on my part, no matter how many of the above
judgments you make about me. May God be praised and
understood a little more, and let all the world cry out against
me; how much more so in that I will perhaps be dead when
what I write is seen. May He be blessed who lives, and will live,
forever, amen.
3. When our Lord is pleased to have pity on this soul that
He has already taken spiritually as His Spouse because of what
it suffers and has suffered through its desires, He brings it,
before the spiritual marriage is consummated, into His dwell-
ing place which is this seventh. For just as in heaven so in the
soul His Majesty must have a room where He dwells alone. Let
us call it another heaven. It's very important for us, Sisters, not
to think the soul is something dark. Since we do not see the
soul, it usually seems that there is no such thing as interior light
but only the exterior light which we all see, and that a certain
darkness is in our soul. As for the soul that is not in grace, I
confess this is so, but not through any fault of the Sun of Justice
who dwells within it giving it being but because such a soul is
incapable of receiving the light, as I believe I have said in the
first dwelling place, according to what a certain person
The Interior Castle - VII: 1
429
understood.1 For these unfortunate souls are as though in a
dark prison, bound hands and feet, in regard to doing
anything good that would enable them to merit, and blind and
deaf. We can rightly take pity on them and reflect that at one
time we were ourselves in this condition and that the Lord can
also have mercy on them.
4. Let us take special care, Sisters, to beg this mercy of Him
and not be careless, for it is a most generous alms to pray for
those who are in mortal sin. Suppose we were to see a Christian
with his hands fastened behind his back by a strong chain,
bound to a post, and dying of hunger, not because of lack of
food, for there are very choice dishes beside him, but because
he cannot take hold of the food and eat, and even has great
loathing for it; and suppose he sees that he is about to breathe
his last and die, not just an earthly death but an eternal one.
Wouldn't it be a terrible cruelty to stand looking at him and
not feed him? Well, then, what if through your prayer the
chains could be loosed? The answer is obvious. For the love of
God I ask you always to remember in your prayers souls in mor-
tal sin.
5. We are not speaking about them now but about those
who already by the mercy of God have done penance for their
sins and are in the state of grace. Thus we are not reflecting on
something restricted to a corner but on an interior world where
there is room for so many and such attractive dwelling places,
as you have seen; and indeed it is right that the soul be like this
since within it there is a dwelling place for God.
Now then, when His Majesty is pleased to grant the soul this
divine marriage that was mentioned,2 He first brings it into His
own dwelling place. He desires that the favor be different from
what it was at other times when He gave the soul raptures. I
really believe that in rapture He unites it with Himself, as well
as in the prayer of union that was mentioned.3 But it doesn't
seem to the soul that it is called to enter into its center, as it is
here in this dwelling place, but called to the superior part.
These things matter little; whether the experience comes in
one way or another, the Lord joins the soul to Himself. But He
430
St. Teresa of Avila
does so by making it blind and deaf, as was St. Paul in his con-
version,4 and by taking away perception of the nature and kind
of favor enjoyed, for the great delight the soul then feels is to
see itself near God. Yet when He joins it to Himself, it doesn't
understand anything; for all the faculties are lost.
6. In this seventh dwelling place the union comes about in a
different way: our good God now desires to remove the scales
from the soul's eyes and let it see and understand, although in
a strange way, something of the favor He grants it. When the
soul is brought into that dwelling place, the Most Blessed
Trinity, all three Persons, through an intellectual vision, is
revealed to it through a certain representation of the truth.
First there comes an enkindling in the spirit in the manner of a
cloud of magnificent splendor; and these Persons are distinct,
and through an admirable knowledge the soul understands as a
most profound truth that all three Persons are one substance
and one power and one knowledge and one God alone. It
knows in such a way that what we hold by faith, it understands,
we can say, through sight — although the sight is not with the
bodily eyes nor with the eyes of the soul, because we are not
dealing with an imaginative vision. Here all three Persons com-
municate themselves to it, speak to it, and explain those words
of the Lord in the Gospel: that He and the Father and the Holy
Spirit will come to dwell with the soul that loves Him and keeps
His commandments.5
7. Oh, God help me! How different is hearing and believing
these words from understanding their truth in this way! Each
day this soul becomes more amazed, for these Persons never
seem to leave it any more, but it clearly beholds, in the way
that was mentioned,6 that they are within it. In the extreme in-
terior, in some place very deep within itself, the nature of
which it doesn't know how to explain, because of a lack of
learning, it perceives this divine company.
8. You may think that as a result the soul will be outside
itself and so absorbed that it will be unable to be occupied with
anything else. On the contrary, the soul is much more oc-
cupied than before with everything pertaining to the service of
God; and once its duties are over it remains with that enjoyable
The Interior Castle - VII: 1
431
company. If the soul does not fail God, He will never fail, in
my opinion, to make His presence clearly known to it. It has
strong confidence that since God has granted this favor He will
not allow it to lose the favor. Though the soul thinks this, it
goes about with greater care than ever not to displease Him in
anything.
9. It should be understood that this presence is not felt so
fully, I mean so clearly, as when revealed the first time or at
other times when God grants the soul this gift. For if the
presence were felt so clearly, the soul would find it impossible
to be engaged in anything else or even to live among people.
But even though the presence is not perceived with this very
clear light, the soul finds itself in this company every time it
takes notice. Let's say that the experience resembles that of a
person who after being in a bright room with others finds
himself, once the shutters are closed, in darkness. The light by
which he could see them is taken away. Until it returns he
doesn't see them, but not for that reason does he stop knowing
they are present. It might be asked whether the soul can see
them when it so desires and the light returns. To see them does
not lie in its power, but depends on when our Lord desires that
the window of the intellect be opened. Great is the mercy He
shows in never departing from the soul and in desiring that it
perceive Him so manifestly.
10. It seems that the divine Majesty desires, through this
wonderful company, to prepare the soul for more. Clearly, the
soul will be truly helped in every way to advance in perfection
and to lose the fear it sometimes had of the other favors He
granted it, as was said.7 Such was the experience of this
person,8 for in everything she found herself improved, and it
seemed to her, despite the trials she underwent and the
business affairs she had to attend to, that the essential part of
her soul never moved from that room. As a result, it seemed to
her that there was, in a certain way, a division in her soul. And
while suffering some great trials a little after God granted her
this favor, she complained of that part of the soul, as Martha
complained of Mary,9 and sometimes pointed out that it was
there always enjoying that quietude at its own pleasure while
432
St. Teresa of A vila
leaving her in the midst of so many trials and occupations that
she could not keep it company.
11. This will seem to you, daughters, to be foolishness, but
it truly happens in this way. Although we know that the soul is
all one, what I say is no mere fancy; the experience is very com-
mon. Wherefore I said10 that interior things are seen in such a
way that one understands with certitude that there is some
kind of difference, a difference clearly recognized, between the
soul and the spirit, even though they are both one. So delicate
a division is perceived that sometimes it seems the one func-
tions differently from the other, and so does the savor the Lord
desires to give them seem different. It also seems to me that the
soul and the faculties are not one but different. There are so
many and such delicate things in the interior that it would be
boldness on my part to set out to explain them. In heaven we
will see all this, if the Lord in His mercy grants us the favor of
bringing us there where we shall understand these secrets.
Chapter 2
Continues on the same subject. Explains the difference be-
tween spiritual union and spiritual marriage. Describes this
difference through some delicate comparisons.
NOW THEN LET US deal with the divine and spiritual
marriage, although this great favor does not come to its
perfect fullness as long as we live; for if we were to withdraw
from God, this remarkable blessing would be lost.
The first time the favor is granted, His Majesty desires to
show Himself to the soul through an imaginative vision of His
most sacred humanity so that the soul will understand and not
be ignorant of receiving this sovereign gift. With other persons
the favor will be received in another form. With regard to the
one of whom we are speaking, the Lord represented Himself to
her, just after she had received Communion, in the form of
shining splendor, beauty, and majesty, as He was after His
The Interior Castle - VII:2
433
resurrection, and told her that now it was time that she con-
sider as her own what belonged to Him and that He would take
care of what was hers, and He spoke other words destined more
to be heard than to be mentioned.1
2. It may seem that this experience was nothing new since at
other times the Lord had represented Himself to the soul in
such a way. The experience was so different that it left her in-
deed stupefied and frightened: first, because this vision came
with great force; second, because of the words the Lord spoke
to her; and also because in the interior of her soul, where He
represented Himself to her, she had not seen other visions ex-
cept the former one.2 You must understand that there is the
greatest difference between all the previous visions and those of
this dwelling place. Between the spiritual betrothal and the
spiritual marriage the difference is as great as that which exists
between two who are betrothed and two who can no longer be
separated.3
3. I have already said4 that even though these comparisons
are used, because there are no others better suited to our pur-
pose, it should be understood that in this state there is no more
thought of the body than if the soul were not in it, but one's
thought is only of the spirit. In the spiritual marriage, there is
still much less remembrance of the body because this secret
union takes place in the very interior center of the soul, which
must be where God Himself is, and in my opinion there is no
need of any door for Him to enter. I say there is no need of any
door because everything that has been said up until now seems
to take place by means of the senses and faculties, and this ap-
pearance of the humanity of the Lord must also.5 But that
which comes to pass in the union of the spiritual marriage is
very different. The Lord appears in this center of the soul, not
in an imaginative vision but in an intellectual one, although
more delicate than those mentioned,6 as He appeared to the
apostles without entering through the door when He said to
them pax vobis.7 What God communicates here to the soul in
an instant is a secret so great and a favor so sublime — and the
delight the soul experiences so extreme — that I don't know
what to compare it to. I can say only that the Lord wishes to
434
St. Teresa of Avila
reveal for that moment, in a more sublime manner than
through any spiritual vision or taste, the glory of heaven. One
can say no more — insofar as can be understood — than that the
soul, I mean the spirit, is made one with God. For since His
Majesty is also spirit, He has wished to show His love for us by
giving some persons understanding of the point to which this
love reaches so that we might praise His grandeur. For He has
desired to be so joined with the creature that, just as those who
are married cannot be separated,8 He doesn't want to be
separated from the soul.
4. The spiritual betrothal is different, for the two often
separate. And the union is also different because, even though
it is the joining of two things into one, in the end the two can
be separated and each remains by itself. We observe this or-
dinarily, for the favor of union with the Lord passes quickly,
and afterward the soul remains without that company; I mean,
without awareness of it. In this other favor from the Lord, no.
The soul always remains with its God in that center. Let us say
that the union is like the joining of two wax candles to such an
extent that the flame coming from them is but one, or that the
wick, the flame, and the wax are all one. But afterward one
candle can be easily separated from the other and there are two
candles; the same holds for the wick. In the spiritual marriage
the union is like what we have when rain falls from the sky into
a river or fount; all is water, for the rain that fell from heaven
cannot be divided or separated from the water of the river. Or
it is like what we have when a little stream enters the sea, there
is no means of separating the two. Or, like the bright light
entering a room through two different windows; although the
streams of light are separate when entering the room, they be-
come one.
5. Perhaps this is what St. Paul means in saying He that is
joined or united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him, 9 and
is referring to this sovereign marriage, presupposing that His
Majesty has brought the soul to it through union. And he also
says: For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.™ The soul as
well, I think, can say these words now because this state is the
place where the little butterfly we mentioned11 dies, and with
The Interior Castle - VIL2
435
the greatest joy because its life is now Christ.
6. And that its life is Christ is understood better, with the
passing of time, by the effects this life has. Through some
secret aspirations the soul understands clearly that it is God
who gives life to our soul. These aspirations come very, very
often in such a living way that they can in no way be doubted.
The soul feels them very clearly even though they are in-
describable. But the feeling is so powerful that sometimes the
soul cannot avoid the loving expressions they cause, such as: O
Life of my life! Sustenance that sustains me! and things of this
sort. For from those divine breasts where it seems God is always
sustaining the soul there flow streams of milk bringing comfort
to all the people of the castle. It seems the Lord desires that in
some manner these others in the castle may enjoy the great deal
the soul is enjoying and that from that full -flowing river, where
this tiny fount is swallowed up, a spurt of that water will
sometimes be directed toward the sustenance of those who in
corporeal things must serve these two who are wed. Just as a
distracted person would feel this water if he were suddenly
bathed in it, and would be unable to avoid feeling it, so are
these operations recognized, and even with greater certitude.
For just as a great gush of water could not reach us if it didn't
have a source, as I have said, so it is understood clearly that
there is Someone in the interior depths who shoots these arrows
and gives life to this life, and that there is a Sun in the interior of
the soul from which a brilliant light proceeds and is sent to the
faculties. The soul, as I have said,12 does not move from that
center nor is its peace lost; for the very One who gave peace to
the apostles when they were together13 can give it to the soul.
7. It has occurred to me that this greeting of the Lord must
have amounted to much more than is apparent from its sound.
So, too, with the Lord's words to the glorious Magdalene that
she go in peace.14 Since His words are effected in us as deeds,
they must have worked in such a manner in those souls already
disposed that everything corporeal in the soul was taken away
and it was left in pure spirit. Thus the soul could be joined in
this heavenly union with the uncreated Spirit. For it is very cer-
tain that in emptying ourselves of all that is creature and
436
St. Teresa of Avila
detaching ourselves from it for the love of God, the same Lord
will fill us with Himself. And thus, while Jesus our Lord was
once praying for His apostles — I don't remember where — He
said that they were one with the Father and with Him, just as
Jesus Christ our Lord is in the Father and the Father is in
Him.15 I don't know what greater love there can be than this.
And all of us are included here, for His Majesty said: / ask not
only for them but for all those who also will believe in me; and
He says: / am in them.116
8. Oh, God help me, how true these words are! And how
well they are understood by the soul who is in this prayer and
sees for itself. How well we would all understand them if it were
not for our own fault, since the words of Jesus Christ, our King
and Lord, cannot fail.17 But since we fail by not disposing
ourselves and turning away from all that can hinder this light,
we do not see ourselves in this mirror that we contemplate,
where our image is engraved.
9. Well, to return to what we were saying.18 The Lord puts
the soul in this dwelling of His, which is the center of the soul
itself. They say that the empyreal heaven where the Lord is
does not move as do the other heavens; similarly, it seems, in
the soul that enters here there are none of those movements
that usually take place in the faculties and the imagination and
do harm to the soul, nor do these stirrings take away its peace.
It seems I'm saying that when the soul reaches this state in
which God grants it this favor, it is sure of its salvation and safe
from falling again. I do not say such a thing, and wherever I so
speak that it seems the soul is secure, this should be taken to
mean as long as the divine Majesty keeps it in His hand and it
does not offend Him. At least I know certainly that the soul
doesn't consider itself safe even though it sees itself in this state
and the state has lasted for some years. But it goes about with
much greater fear than before, guarding itself from any small
offense against God and with the strongest desires to serve
Him, as will be said further on,19 and with habitual pain and
confusion at seeing the little it can do and the great deal to
which it is obliged. This pain is no small cross but a very great
penance. For when this soul does penance, the delight will be
The Interior Castle - VII:2
437
greater in the measure that the penance is greater. The true
penance comes when God takes away the soul's health and
strength for doing penance. Even though I have mentioned
elsewhere20 the great pain this lack causes, the pain is much
more intense here. All these things must come to the soul from
its roots, from where it is planted. The tree that is beside the
running water is fresher and gives more fruit. What is there,
then, to marvel at in the desires this soul has since its true spirit
has become one with the heavenly water we mentioned?21
10. Now then, to return to what I was saying,22 it should not
be thought that the faculties, senses, and passions are always in
this peace; the soul is, yes. But in those other dwelling places,
times of war, trial, and fatigue are never lacking; however,
they are such that they do not take the soul from its place and
its peace; that is, as a rule.
This center of our soul, or this spirit, is something so difficult
to explain, and even believe in, that I think, Sisters, I'll not
give you the temptation to disbelieve what I say, for I do not
know how to explain this center. That there are trials and suf-
ferings and that at the same time the soul is in peace is a dif-
ficult thing to explain. I want to make one or more com-
parisons for you. Please God, I may be saying something
through them; but if not, I know that I'm speaking the truth in
what I say.
1 1 . The King is in His palace and there are many wars in his
kingdom and many painful things going on, but not on that
account does he fail to be at his post. So here, even though in
those other dwelling places there is much tumult and there are
many poisonous creatures and the noise is heard, no one enters
that center dwelling place and makes the soul leave. Nor do the
things the soul hears make it leave; even though they cause it
some pain, the suffering is not such as to disturb it and take
away its peace. The passions are now conquered and have a
fear of entering the center because they would go away from
there more subdued.
Our entire body may ache; but if the head is sound, the head
will not ache just because the body aches.
438
St. Teresa of A vila
I am laughing to myself over these comparisons for they do
not satisfy me, but I don't know any others. You may think
what you want; what I have said is true.
Chapter 3
Deals with the wonderful effects of this prayer that was men-
tioned. It is necessary to pay attention and heed to these ef-
fects, for the difference between them and the previous ones is
remarkable.
NOW, THEN, WE ARE SAYING that this little butterfly
has already died, with supreme happiness for having
found repose and because Christ lives in it. Let us see what life
it lives, or how this life differs from the life it was living. For
from the effects, we shall see if what was said is true. By what I
can understand these effects are the following.1
2. The first effect is a forget fulness of self, for truly the soul,
seemingly, no longer is, as was said.2 Everything is such that
this soul doesn't know or recall that there will be heaven or life
or honor for it, because it employs all it has in procuring the
honor of God. It seems the words His Majesty spoke to her pro-
duced the deed in her. They were that she look after what is
His and that He would look after what is hers.3 Thus, the soul
doesn't worry about all that can happen. It experiences strange
forgetfulness, for, as I say, seemingly the soul no longer is or
would want to be anything in anything, except when it
understands that there can come from itself something by
which the glory and honor of God may increase even one
degree. For this purpose the soul would very willingly lay down
its life.
3. Don't think by this, daughters, that a person fails to
remember to eat and sleep — doing so is no small torment — and
to do all that he is obliged to in conformity with his state in life.
We are speaking of interior matters, for there is little to say
about exterior works. Rather, the soul's pain lies in seeing that
what it can now do by its own efforts amounts to nothing. For
The Interior Castle - VII: 3
439
no earthly thing would it fail to do all it can and understands to
be for the service of our Lord.
4. The second effect is that the soul has a great desire to suf-
fer, but not the kind of desire that disturbs it as previously. For
the desire left in these souls that the will of God be done in
them reaches such an extreme that they think everything His
Majesty does is good. If He desires the soul to suffer, well and
good; if not, it doesn't kill itself as it used to.
5. These souls also have a deep interior joy when they are
persecuted, with much more peace than that mentioned, and
without any hostile feelings toward those who do, or desire to
do, them evil. On the contrary, such a soul gains a particular
love for its persecutors, in such a way that if it sees these latter
in some trial it feels compassion and would take on any burden
to free them from their trial, and eagerly recommends them to
God and would rejoice to lose the favors His Majesty grants it if
He would bestow these same gifts on those others so that they
wouldn't offend our Lord.
6. You have already seen the trials and afflictions these souls
have experienced in order to die so as to enjoy our Lord.4 What
surprises me most of all now is that they have just as great a
desire to serve Him and that through them He be praised and
that they may benefit some soul if they can. For not only do
they not desire to die but they desire to live very many years
suffering the greatest trials if through these they can help that
the Lord be praised, even though in something very small. If
they knew for certain that in leaving the body the soul would
enjoy God, they wouldn't pay attention to that; nor do they
think of the glory of the saints. They do not desire at that time
to be in glory. Their glory lies in being able some way to help
the Crucified, especially when they see He is so offended and
that few there are who, detached from everything else, really
look after His honor.
7. It is true that sometimes these things are forgotten, and
the loving desires to enjoy God and leave this exile return,
especially when the soul sees how little it serves Him. But soon
it turns and looks within itself and at how continually it ex-
440
St. Teresa of Avila
periences His presence, and with that it is content and offers
His Majesty the desire to live as the most costly offering it can
give Him.
It has no more fear of death than it would of a gentle rap-
ture. The fact is that He who gave those desires that were so ex-
cessive a torment, now gives these others. May He be always
blessed and praised.
8. The desires these souls have are no longer for consolations
or spiritual delight, since the Lord Himself is present with these
souls and it is His Majesty who now lives. Clearly, His life was
nothing but a continual torment, and He makes ours the same;
at least with the desires, for in other things He leads us as the
weak, although souls share much in His fortitude when He sees
they have need of it.
There is a great detachment from everything and a desire to
be always either alone or occupied in something that will
benefit some soul. There are no interior trials or feelings of
dryness, but the soul lives with a remembrance and tender love
of our Lord. It would never want to go without praising Him.
When it becomes distracted the Lord Himself awakens it in the
manner mentioned,5 for one sees most clearly that that im-
pulse, or I don't know what to call the feeling, proceeds from
the interior depths of the soul, as was said of the impulses in
the previous dwelling place.6 Here, in this dwelling place, these
impulses are experienced most gently, but they do not proceed
from the mind or the memory, nor do they come from
anything that would make one think the soul did something on
its own. This experience is an ordinary and frequent one, for it
has been observed carefully. Just as a fire does not shoot its
flames downward but upward, however great a fire is enkin-
dled, so one experiences here that this interior movement pro-
ceeds from the center of the soul and awakens the faculties.
9. Certainly, if there were no other gain in this way of
prayer except to understand the particular care God has in
communicating with us and beseeching us to remain with
Him — for this experience doesn't seem to be anything else — it
seems to me that all the trials endured for the sake of enjoying
The Interior Castle - VII: 3
441
these touches of His love, so gentle and penetrating, would be
well worthwhile.
This you will have experienced, Sisters. For I think that
when one has reached the prayer of union the Lord goes about
with this concern if we do not grow negligent in keeping His
commandments. When this impulse comes to you, remember
that it comes from this interior dwelling place where God is in
our soul, and praise Him very much. For certainly that note or
letter is His, written with intense love and in such a way that
He wants you alone to understand it and what He asks of you in
it. By no means should you fail to respond to His Majesty, even
though you may be externally occupied or in conversation with
some persons. For it will often happen that our Lord will want
to grant you this secret favor in public, and it is very
easy — since the response is interior — to do what I'm saying and
make an act of love, or say what St. Paul said: Lord, what will
You have me do?7 In many ways He will teach you there what
will be pleasing to Him and the acceptable time. I think it is
understood that He hears us, and this touch, which is so
delicate, almost always disposes the soul to be able to do what
was said with a resolute will.
10. The difference in this dwelling place is the one men-
tioned:8 There are almost never any experiences of dryness or
interior disturbance of the kind that were present at times in all
the other dwelling places, but the soul is almost always in
quiet. There is no fear that this sublime favor can be
counterfeited by the devil, but the soul is wholly sure that the
favor comes from God; for, as I have said,9 the faculties and
senses have nothing to do with what goes on in this dwelling
place. His Majesty reveals Himself to the soul and brings it to
Himself in that place where, in my opinion, the devil will not
dare enter, nor will the Lord allow him to enter. Nor does the
Lord in all the favors He grants the soul here, as I have said,10
receive any assistance from the soul itself, except what it has
already done in surrendering itself totally to God.
1 1 . Every way in which the Lord helps the soul here, and all
He teaches it, takes place with such quiet and so noiselessly
that, seemingly to me, the work resembles the building of
442
St. Teresa of A Vila
Solomon's temple where no sound was heard.1 1 So in this tem-
ple of God, in this His dwelling place, He alone and the soul re-
joice together in the deepest silence. There is no reason for the
intellect to stir or seek anything, for the Lord who created it
wishes to give it repose here and that through a small crevice it
might observe what is taking place. At times this sight is lost
and the other faculties do not allow the intellect to look, but
this happens for only a very short time. In my opinion, the
faculties are not lost here;12 they do not work, but remain as
though in amazement.
12. I am amazed as well to see that when the soul arrives
here all raptures are taken away. Only once in a while are they
experienced and then without those transports and that flight
of the spirit. They happen very rarely and almost never in
public as they very often did before. Nor do the great occasions
of devotion cause the soul concern as previously. Nor, if souls
in this dwelling place see a devout image or hear a ser-
mon—previously it was almost as though they didn't hear
it — or music, are they worried as was the poor little butterfly
that went about so apprehensive that everything frightened it
and made it fly. Now the reason could be that in this dwelling
place either the soul has found its repose, or has seen so much
that nothing frightens it, or that it doesn't feel that solitude it
did before since it enjoys such company. In sum, Sisters, I
don't know what the cause may be. For when the Lord begins
to show what there is in this dwelling place and to bring the
soul there, this great weakness is taken away. The weakness was
a severe trial for the soul and previously was not taken away.
Perhaps the reason is that the Lord has now fortified, en-
larged, and made the soul capable. Or it could be that His
Majesty wished to make known publicly that which He did with
these souls in secret for certain reasons He knows, for His
judgments are beyond all that we can imagine here below.
13. These effects, along with all the other good ones from
the degrees of prayer we mentioned, are given by God when He
brings the soul to Himself with this kiss sought by the bride,13
for I think this petition is here granted. Here an abundance of
water is given to this deer that was wounded. Here one delights
The Interior Castle - VII: 3
443
in God's tabernacle. Here the dove Noah sent out to see if the
storm was over finds the olive branch as a sign of firm ground
discovered amid the floods and tempests of this world. O Jesus!
Who would know the many things there must be in Scripture
to explain this peace of soul! My God, since You see how im-
portant it is for us, grant that Christians will seek it; and in
Your mercy do not take it away from those to whom You have
given it. For, in the end, people must always live with fear until
You give them true peace and bring them there where that
peace will be unending. I say "true peace," not because this
peace is not true but because the first war could return if we
were to withdraw from God.
14. But what will these souls feel on seeing that they could
lack so great a blessing? Seeing this makes them proceed more
carefully and seek to draw strength from their weakness so as
not to abandon through their own fault any opportunity to
please God more. The more favored they are by His Majesty
the more they are afraid and fearful of themselves. And since
through His grandeurs they have come to a greater knowledge
of their own miseries, and their sins become more serious to
them, they often go about like the publican14 not daring to
raise their eyes. At other times they go about desiring to die so
as to be safe; although, with the love they have, soon they
again want to live in order to serve Him, as was said.15 And in
everything concerning themselves they trust in His mercy.
Sometimes the many favors make them feel more annihilated,
for they fear that just as a ship too heavily laden sinks to the
bottom they will go down too.
15. I tell you, Sisters, that the cross is not wanting but it
doesn't disquiet or make them lose peace. For the storms, like a
wave, pass quickly. And the fair weather returns, because the
presence of the Lord they experience makes them soon forget
everything. May He be ever blessed and praised by all His crea-
tures, amen.
444
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 4
Concludes by explaining what she thinks our Lord's purpose is
in granting such great favors to the soul and how it is necessary
that Martha and Mary join together. This chapter is very
beneficial.
YOU MUST NOT THINK, Sisters, that the effects I
mentioned1 are always present in these souls. Hence,
where I remember, I say "ordinarily." For sometimes our Lord
leaves these individuals in their natural state, and then it seems
all the poisonous creatures from the outskirts and other dwell-
ing places of this castle band together to take revenge for the
time they were unable to have these souls under their control.
2. True, this natural state lasts only a short while, a day at
most or a little more. And in this great disturbance, usually oc-
casioned by some event, the soul's gain through the good com-
pany it is in becomes manifest. For the Lord gives the soul
great stability and good resolutions not to deviate from His
service in anything. But it seems this determination increases,
and these souls do not deviate through even a very slight first
movement. As I say this disturbance is rare, but our Lord does
not want the soul to forget its being, so that, for one thing, it
might always be humble; for another, that it might better
understand the tremendous favor it receives, what it owes His
Majesty, and that it might praise Him.
3. Nor should it pass through your minds that, since these
souls have such determination and strong desires not to commit
any imperfection for anything on earth, they fail to commit
many imperfections, and even sins. Advertently, no; for the
Lord must give souls such as these very particular help against
such a thing. I mean venial sins, for from what these souls can
understand they are free from mortal sins, although not im-
mune. That they might have some sins they don't know about
is no small torment to them. They also suffer torment in seeing
souls go astray. Even though in some way they have great hope
The Interior Castle - VII: 4
445
that they themselves will not be among these souls, they cannot
help but fear when they recall some of those persons Scripture
mentions who, it seems, were favored by the Lord, like
Solomon, who communed so much with His Majesty, as I have
said.2 The one among you who feels safest should fear more,
for blessed is the man who fears the Lord, 3 says David. May His
Majesty protect us always. To beseech Him that we not offend
Him is the greatest security we can have. May He be praised
forever, amen.
4. It will be good, Sisters, to tell you the reason the Lord
grants so many favors in this world. Although, if you have paid
attention, you will have understood this in learning of their ef-
fects, I want to tell you again here lest someone think that the
reason is solely for the sake of giving delight to these souls; that
thought would be a serious error. His Majesty couldn't grant us
a greater favor than to give us a life that would be an imitation
of the life His beloved Son lived. Thus I hold for certain that
these favors are meant to fortify our weakness, as I have said
here at times,4 that we may be able to imitate Him in His great
sufferings.
5. We have always seen that those who were closest to Christ
our Lord were those with the greatest trials. Let us look at what
His glorious Mother suffered and the glorious apostles. How do
you think St. Paul could have suffered such very great trials?
Through him we can see the effects visions and contemplation
produce when from our Lord, and not from the imagination or
the devil's deceit. Did St. Paul by chance hide himself in the en-
joyment of these delights and not engage in anything else? You
already see that he didn't have a day of rest, from what we can
understand, and neither did he have any rest at night since it
was then that he earned his livelihood.5 I like very much the ac-
count about St. Peter fleeing from prison and how our Lord ap-
peared to him and told him "I am on my way to Rome to be
crucified again." We never recite the office of this feast, where
this account is, that I don't find particular consolation.6 How
did this favor from the Lord impress St. Peter or what did he do?
He went straight to his death. And it was no small mercy from
the Lord that Peter found someone to provide him with death.
446
St, Teresa of Avila
6. O my Sisters! How forgetful this soul, in which the Lord
dwells in so particular a way, should be of its own rest, how lit-
tle it should care for its honor, and how far it should be from
wanting esteem in anything! For if it is with Him very much, as
is right, it should think little about itself. All its concern is
taken up with how to please Him more and how or where it will
show Him the love it bears Him. This is the reason for prayer,
my daughters, the purpose of this spiritual marriage: the birth
always of good works, good works.
7. This is the true sign of a thing, or favor, being from God,
as I have already told you.7 It benefits me little to be alone
making acts of devotion to our Lord, proposing and promising
to do wonders in His service, if I then go away and when the oc-
casion offers itself do everything the opposite. I was wrong in
saying it profits little, for everything having to do with God
profits a great deal. And even though we are weak and do not
carry out these resolutions afterward, sometimes His Majesty
will give us the power to do so, even though, perhaps, doing so
is burdensome to us, as is often true. Since He sees that a soul is
very faint-hearted He gives it a severe trial, truly against its
will, and brings this soul out of the trial with profit. Afterward,
since the soul understands this, the fear lessens and one can of-
fer oneself more willingly to Him. I meant "it benefits me
little" in comparison with how much greater the benefit is
when our deeds conform with what we say in prayer; what can-
not be done all at once can be done little by little. Let the soul
bend its will if it wishes that prayer be beneficial to it, for
within the corners of these little monasteries there will not be
lacking many occasions for you to do so.8
8. Keep in mind that I could not exaggerate the importance
of this. Fix your eyes on the Crucified and everything will
become small for you. If His Majesty showed us His love by
means of such works and frightful torments, how is it you want
to please Him only with words? Do you know what it means to
be truly spiritual? It means becoming the slaves of God.
Marked with His brand, which is that of the cross, spiritual
persons, because now7 they have given Him their liberty, can be
sold by Him as slaves of everyone, as He was. He doesn't
The Interior Castle - VII: 4
447
thereby do them any harm or grant them a small favor. And if
souls aren't determined about becoming His slaves, let them be
convinced that they are not making much progress, for this
whole building, as I have said,9 has humility as its foundation.
If humility is not genuinely present, for your own sake the Lord
will not construct a high building lest that building fall to the
ground. Thus, Sisters, that you might build on good founda-
tions, strive to be the least and the slaves of all, looking at how
or where you can please and serve them. What you do in this
matter you do more for yourself than for them and lay stones so
firmly that the castle will not fall.
9. I repeat, it is necessary that your foundation consist of
more than prayer and contemplation. If you do not strive for
the virtues and practice them, you will always be dwarfs. And,
please God, it will be only a matter of not growing, for you
already know that whoever does not increase decreases. I hold
that love, where present, cannot possibly be content with re-
maining always the same.
10. It will seem to you that I am speaking with those who are
beginning and that after this beginner's stage souls can rest. I
have already told you10 that the calm these souls have interiorly
is for the sake of their having much less calm exteriorly and
much less desire to have exterior calm. What, do you think, is
the reason for those inspirations (or to put it better, aspira-
tions) I mentioned, and those messages the soul sends from the
interior center to the people at the top of the castle and to the
dwelling places outside the center where it is? Is it so that those
outside might fall asleep? No, absolutely not! That the
faculties, senses, and all the corporeal will not be idle, the soul
wages more war from the center than it did when it was outside
suffering with them, for then it didn't understand the tremen-
dous gain trials bring. Perhaps they were the means by which
God brought it to the center, and the company it has gives it
much greater strength than ever. For if here below, as David
says, in the company of the saints we will become saints,1 1 there
is no reason to doubt that, being united with the Strong One
through so sovereign a union of spirit with spirit, fortitude will
448
St. Teresa of Avila
cling to such a soul; and so we shall understand what fortitude
the saints had for suffering and dying.
11. It is very certain that from that fortitude which clings to
it there the soul assists all those who are in the castle, and even
the body itself which often, seemingly, does not feel the
strength. But the soul is fortified by the strength it has from
drinking wine in this wine cellar, where its Spouse has brought
it12 and from where He doesn't allow it to leave; and strength
flows back to the weak body, just as food placed in the stomach
strengthens the head and the whole body. Thus the soul has its
share of misfortune while it lives. However much it does, the
interior strength increases and thus, too, the war that is waged;
for everything seems like a trifle to it. The great penances that
many saints — especially the glorious Magdalene, who had
always been surrounded by so much luxury — performed must
have come from this center. Also that hunger which our Father
Elijah had for the honor of his God13 and which St. Dominic
and St. Francis had so as to draw souls to praise God. I tell you,
though they were forgetful of themselves, their suffering must
have been great.
12. This is what I want us to strive for, my Sisters; and let us
desire and be occupied in prayer not for the sake of our enjoy-
ment but so as to have this strength to serve. Let's refuse to take
an unfamiliar path, for we shall get lost at the most opportune
time. It would indeed be novel to think of having these favors
from God through a path other than the one He took and the
one followed by all His saints. May the thought never enter our
minds. Believe me, Martha and Mary must join together in
order to show hospitality to the Lord and have Him always
present and not host Him badly by failing to give Him
something to eat. How would Mary, always seated at His feet,
provide Him with food if her sister did not help her? His food is
that in every way possible we draw souls that they may be saved
and praise Him always.14
13. You will make two objections: one, that He said that
Mary had chosen the better part. The answer is that she had
already performed the task of Martha, pleasing the Lord by
washing His feet and drying them with her hair.15 Do you think
The Interior Castle - VILA
449
it would be a small mortification for a woman of nobility like
her to wander through these streets (and perhaps alone
because her fervent love made her unaware of what she was do-
ing) and enter a house she had never entered before and after-
ward suffer the criticism of the Pharisee and the very many
other things she must have suffered? The people saw a woman
like her change so much — and, as we know, she was among
such malicious people — and they saw her friendship with the
Lord whom they vehemently abhorred, and that she wanted to
become a saint since obviously she would have changed her
manner of dress and everything else. All of that was enough to
cause them to comment on the life she had formerly lived. If
nowadays there is so much gossip against persons who are not
so notorious; what would have been said then? I tell you,
Sisters, the better part came after many trials and much mor-
tification, for even if there were no other trial than to see His
Majesty abhorred, that would be an intolerable one. Moreover,
the many trials that afterward she suffered at the death of the
Lord and in the years that she subsequently lived in His
absence must have been a terrible torment. You see she wasn't
always in the delight of contemplation at the feet of the Lord.
14. The other objection you will make is that you are unable
to bring souls to God, that you do not have the means; that you
would do it willingly but that not being teachers or preachers,
as were the apostles, you do not know how. This objection I
have answered at times in writing, but I don't know if I did so
in this Castle.^ Yet since the matter is something I believe is
passing through your minds on account of the desires God gives
you I will not fail to respond here. I already told you
elsewhere17 that sometimes the devil gives us great desires so
that we will avoid setting ourselves to the task at hand, serving
our Lord in possible things, and instead be content with having
desired the impossible. Apart from the fact that by prayer you
will be helping greatly, you need not be desiring to benefit the
whole world but must concentrate on those who are in your
company, and thus your deed will be greater since you are
more obliged toward them. Do you think such deep humility,
your mortification, service of all and great charity toward
450
St. Teresa of A vzla
them, and love of the Lord is of little benefit? This fire of love
in you enkindles their souls, and with every other virtue you
will be always awakening them. Such service will not be small
but very great and very pleasing to the Lord. By what you do in
deed — that which you can — His Majesty will understand that
you would do much more. Thus He will give you the reward He
would if you had gained many souls for Him.
15. You will say that such service does not convert souls
because all the Sisters you deal with are already good. Who has
appointed you judge in this matter? The better they are the
more pleasing their praises will be to our Lord and the more
their prayer will profit their neighbor.
In sum, my Sisters, what I conclude with is that we shouldn't
build castles in the air. The Lord doesn't look so much at the
greatness of our works as at the love with which they are done.
And if we do what we can, His Majesty will enable us each day
to do more and more, provided that we do not quickly tire. But
during the little while this life lasts — and perhaps it will last a
shorter time than each one thinks — let us offer the Lord in-
teriorly and exteriorly the sacrifice we can. His Majesty will
join it with that which He offered on the cross to the Father for
us. Thus even though our works are small they will have the
value our love for Him would have merited had they been
great.
16. May it please His Majesty, my Sisters and daughters,
that we all reach that place where we may ever praise Him.
Through the merits of His Son who lives and reigns forever and
ever, may He give me the grace to carry out something of what
I tell you, amen. For I tell you that my confusion is great, and
thus I ask you through the same Lord that in your prayers you
do not forget this poor wretch.
The Interior Castle Epilogue
451
[Epilogue1 ]
JHS.
ALTHOUGH WHEN I BEGAN writing this book I am send-
ing you I did so with the aversion I mentioned in the
beginning,2 now that I am finished I admit the work has
brought me much happiness, and I consider the labor, though
I confess it was small, well spent. Considering the strict
enclosure and the few things you have for your entertainment,
my Sisters, and that your buildings are not always as large as
would be fitting for your monasteries, I think it will be a con-
solation for you to delight in this interior castle since without
permission from the prioress you can enter and take a walk
through it at any time.
2. True, you will not be able to enter all the dwelling places
through your own efforts, even though these efforts may seem
to you great, unless the Lord of the castle Himself brings you
there. Hence I advise you to use no force if you meet with any
resistance, for you will thereby anger Him in such a way that
He will never allow you to enter them. He is very fond of
humility. By considering that you do not deserve even to enter
the third you will more quickly win the favor to reach the fifth.
And you will be able to serve Him from there in such a way,
continuing to walk through them often, that He will bring you
into the very dwelling place He has for Himself. You need
never leave this latter dwelling place unless called by the
prioress, whose will this great Lord desires that you comply
with as much as if it were His own. Even though you are fre-
quently outside through her command, you will always find the
door open when you return. Once you get used to enjoying this
452
St. Teresa of A vila
castle, you will find rest in all things, even those involving
much labor, for you will have the hope of returning to the cas-
tle which no one can take from you.
3. Although no more than seven dwelling places were
discussed, in each of these there are many others, below and
above and to the sides, with lovely gardens and fountains and
labyrinths, such delightful things that you would want to be
dissolved in praises of the great God who created the soul in His
own image and likeness.3 If you find something good in the
way I have explained this to you, believe that indeed His Maj-
esty said it so as to make you happy; the bad that you might
find is said by me.
4. Through the strong desire I have to play some part in
helping you serve my God and Lord, I ask that each time you
read this work you, in my name, praise His Majesty fervently
and ask for the increase of His Church and for light for the
Lutherans. As for me, ask Him to pardon my sins and deliver
me from purgatory, for perhaps by the mercy of God I will be
there when this is given you to read — if it may be seen by you
after having been examined by learned men. If anything is er-
roneous it is so because I didn't know otherwise; and I submit
in everything to what the holy Roman Catholic Church holds,
for in this Church I live, declare my faith, and promise to live
and die.
May God our Lord be forever praised and blessed, amen,
amen.
5. This writing was finished in the monastery of St. Joseph
of Avila in the year 1577, the eve before the feast of St. An-
drew,4 for the glory of God who lives and reigns forever and
ever, amen.
Notes
NOTES
THE WAY OF PERFECTION
INTRODUCTION
1. See The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Airila, tr. K.
Kavanaugh and O. Rodriguez, vol. 1 (I.C.S. Publications:
Washington, D.C., 1976), pp. 17-19.
2. See Life, epilogue, no. 2.
3. See Way of Perfection, ch. 42, no. 6.
4. Ibid., prologue, no. 1.
5. See ibid., ch. 16, nos. 3-6; ch. 24, nos. 1-2; ch. 30, no. 7.
6. Ibid., prologue, no. 1.
7. Ibid., ch. 15, no. 1.
8. Ibid., ch. 42, no. 6.
9. Ibid.
10. Ibid., prologue, no. 1.
11. See Camino de Perfection, Reproduction en facsimil del
autografo de Valladolid, ed. Tomas de la Cruz et al., vol. 2
(Tipografia Poliglotta Vaticana: Rome, 1965), pp. 15-30.
12. See ibid.
13. Ibid., ch. 16, no. 6.
14. See Life, ch. 39, no. 22.
15. Ibid., ch. 38, no. 6.
16. See ibid., ch. 20, no. 13.
17. Way of Perfection, ch. 1, no. 2.
18. Cf. ibid., ch. 1, nos. 2, 5; ch. 3, nos. 1, 8; ch. 35, no. 3.
19. Life, ch. 25, no. 12.
20. Ibid., ch. 25, no. 13.
21. Spiritual Testimonies, 3, no. 13.
22. Cf. Way of Perfection, ch. 21, no. 10; ch. 30, no. 4.
23. Ibid., ch. 3, no. 9.
24. Ibid., ch. 1, no. 2.
25. Ibid., ch. 3, no. 1.
26. Ibid., ch. 1, no. 2.
27. Ibid. For futher details about Teresa and the Church, see Tomas
de la Cruz, "Santa Teresa De Avila Hija De La Iglesia,"
Ephemerides Carmeliticae 17 (1966): 305-367.
455
456
St. Teresa of Avila
28. For futher information about these times, see my introduction to
the Life in the Collected Works of St. Teresa, vol.1, pp. 6-22.
29. Francisco de Osuna, Norte de Estados (Seville, 1531), as quoted
by D. De Pablo Maroto in Dindmica de la Oracion (Madrid:
Espiritualidad, 1973), p. 109.
30. See Biblioteca Mistica Carmelitana, ed., Silverio de Santa
Teresa, vol. 18 (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo 1934), p. 10.
31. Obras Completas de Santa Teresa de Jesus, ed., Efren de La
Madre de Dios and O. Steggink (Madrid: BAC, 1967), p. 190.
32. Way of Perfection, ch. 3, no. 7.
33. See J. Ignacio Tellechea Idigoras, "Textos Ineditos Sobre El
Fenomeno De Los Alumbrados, " Ephemerides Carmeliticae 13
(1962): 768-774.
34. See P. Tommaso della Croce, "Santa Teresa E I Movimenti
Spirituali Del Suo Tempo," Santa Teresa Maestra De Orazione
(Rome: Teresianum, 1963), pp. 30-36. Cf. D. De Pablo Maroto,
Dindmica De La Oracion, p. 106.
35. See Life, ch. 26, no. 5.
36. See D. De Pablo Maroto, Dindmica De La Oracion, p. 107.
37. Way of Perfection, ch. 21, no. 2
38. Ibid., ch. 22, no. 2.
39. Ibid., ch. 21, no. 8.
40. Camino de Perfeccion, Reproduccion en facsimil del autografo
de Valladolid, vol. 2, p. 76.
41. Way of Perfection, ch. 3, no. 7
42. See ibid.
43. See ibid., ch. 11, no. 4.
44. Cf. Rule of St. Albert, eds. H. Clarke and B. Edwards
(Aylesford: Carmelite Priory, 1973).
45. Way of Perfection, ch. 13, no. 6.
46. Ibid., ch. 4, no. 9.
47. For a glimpse of life at the Incarnation, see P. Tom as Alvarez,
"La visita del padre Rubeo a las carmelitas de La Encarnacion
de Avila (1567)/' "Monte Carmelo 86 (1978): 5-25. Cf. also D.
De Pablo Maroto, "Camino De Perfeccion," Introduccion A La
Lectura De Santa Teresa (Madrid: Espiritualidad, 1978):
285-288.
48. Way of Perfection, ch. 27, no. 6.
49. Ibid., ch. 2, no. 8.
50. Ibid., no. 6.
51. Ibid., ch. 4, no. 7.
52. See ibid., ch. 1, no. 2.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
457
53. See ibid., ch. 4, nos. 1-2.
54. See ibid., no. 4.
55. Ibid., prologue, no. 2.
56. See ibid., ch. 4, no. 12, note 8.
57. Ibid., ch. 41, no. 5.
58. Ibid., ch. 2, no. 8, note 4.
59. Ibid., ch. 7, no. 5.
60. Ibid., ch. 10, no. 2.
61. See ibid., ch. 11, no. 3.
62. Ibid., ch. 12, no. 5.
63. Ibid., ch. 13, no. 5, note 2.
64. Ibid., ch. 10, no. 3.
65. Ibid., ch. 16, no. 2.
66. Ibid., ch. 39, no. 2.
67. Ibid., ch. 38, no. 7.
68. Ibid., ch. 19, no. 1.
69. Ibid., ch. 19, no. 2.
70. Ibid.
71. Ibid., ch. 28, no. 4.
72. Ibid., ch. 29, no. 5.
73. Ibid., ch. 26, no. 3.
74. Ibid., ch. 29, no. 5.
75. Ibid., ch. 26, no. 3.
76. See ibid., ch. 29, no. 4.
77. Ibid., ch. 28, no. 7.
78. Ibid., no. 4.
79. Ibid., ch. 29, no. 7.
80. Ibid., no. 6.
81. See ibid., ch. 26, nos. 4, 5, 8.
82. Ibid., ch. 30, nos. 6-7.
83. Ibid., ch. 31, no. 6.
84. Ibid., ch. 42, no. 5.
85. Ibid., ch. 21, no. 2.
FOREWORD
1. Although St. Joseph's in Avila was founded by Teresa, she was
not the first prioress. The first prioress was an older nun from the
Incarnation, Ana de San Juan (Davila), who was severe with
Teresa, mortifying and humiliating her. After a short while this
nun returned to the Incarnation because of bad health, and
Teresa, near the beginning of March, 1563, was appointed
prioress. She remained so until 1568, and certainly held office
while writing this book.
458
St. Teresa of A vtla
2. This declaration of submission to the Roman Church was written
later by Teresa in the copy of Toledo, which was sent for
publication in 1579 to Don Teotonio de Braganza, archbishop of
Evora.
PROLOGUE
1. An academic title, the equivalent of licentiate.
2. According to Teresa, Fr. Banez was her confessor for six years,
approximately from 1562 to 1568 (see Spir. Test., 58, no. 8).
3. A reference to her Life, the second redaction of which was fin-
ished at St. Joseph's in Avila toward the end of 1565, before she
started The Way of Perfection.
CHAPTER 2
1. Allusion to Lk. 21:33.
2. Here Teresa alludes to the social attitude in sixteenth-century
Spain in which honor was reserved for people of the upper class
or nobility. According to Philip II's Pragmdtica, titles were to be
used only by the nobility. Poor people had no right to titles, and
so were not honored or esteemed.
3. Teresa might have read such words, attributed to St. Clare, in
St. Bonaventure's Leyenda mayor de S. Francisco y S. Clara
(Toledo, 1526).
4. In the first redaction she wrote more emphatically: "... may such
a building fall to the ground and kill you all the day you desire
one. Moreover, I say this without remorse, and I'll beg it of God."
5. In the mind of Teresa the number of nuns in each community
should be small. In 1561 she thought of fifteen (see Letters, to
Lorenzo de Cepeda, Dec. 12, 1561). Later she spoke of thirteen
(see Life, ch. 32, no. 13), that is, twelve nuns, representing the
number of apostles, and the prioress, standing in the place of
Christ. Initially, the monastery of the Incarnation at Avila was to
have only fourteen nuns, twelve for the apostles, and two others
for our Lord and our Lady. When Teresa, following that early
tradition of the Incarnation, added the fifteenth it was to recall
St. Joseph. In 1576, Fr. Gratian, as the apostolic commissary,
established in accord with Teresa that there be thirteen or four-
teen nuns, excluding the lay Sisters, in houses founded in poverty
and twenty in those having an income. See Biblioteca Mistica
Carmelitana, ed. P. Silverio de Santa Teresa, O.C.D., 20 vols.
(Burgos: El Monte Carmelo, 1915-35), 6:525 (hereafter cited as
BMC).
Notes-The Way of Perfection
459
CHAPTER 3
1. Namely, the two mentioned in the preceding paragraph,
wherein is contained the apostolic element of the Teresian
charism.
2. This paragraph was deleted in the first redaction by Fr. Garcia
de Toledo, who thought it was too daring for the attitude toward
women that was characteristic of the times. Teresa complied and
omitted the passage in the second redaction. Nevertheless, it is a
stirring statement in favor of women and of what they can con-
tribute to the Church and the world.
3. Lk. 9:58.
4. A reference to the Bishop of Avila, Don Alvaro de Mendoza (see
Life, ch. 33, no. 16). In the Toledo manuscript she added in her
own hand: "... and this order of the Blessed Virgin, and all the
other orders."
CHAPTER 4
1 . In the autograph (Valladolid) this chapter was divided so that a
new chapter began after no. 4. Teresa decided to join them
when preparing the copy of Toledo for printing. The chapter
heading consists of what originally had been two different
headings.
2. The rule states: "Each one of you is to stay in his own cell or
nearby, pondering the Lord's law day and night and keeping
watch at his prayers unless attending to some other duty." See
The Rule of St. Albert, eds. H. Clarke, O. Carm. and B. Ed-
wards, O.C.D. (Aylesford: Carmelite Priory, 1973), p. 83.
3. See ch. 2, note 5.
4. This strong expression is a kind of Teresian anathema indicating
a serious and contagious moral evil. See no. 8.
5. Biblical allusion to 1 P. 1:18-19.
6. See note 2.
7. Jn. 13:34.
8. Teresa was not satisfied with the way she wrote in her first
redaction about this second type of love; in her second redaction
she rewrote this part. But then she tore out the whole sheet and
wrote what is contained in no. 13. The following is what she
wrote in her first redaction: "... the other is spiritual and mixed
with it our own sensuality and weakness. The important thing is
that these two kinds of love are unaffected by any passion, for
where passion is present the good order is thrown into complete
460
St. Teresa of Avila
disorder. And if we love discreetly and moderately with the love I
mentioned, all will be meritorious, for what seems to us to be
sensuality will be converted into virtue. But the sensuality is so
intermingled with the spiritual love that at times there is no one
who understands this love, especially if it is for some confessor.
For if persons who practice prayer see that he is holy and
understands their mode of procedure, they will get to love him
deeply. And here the devil batters one with scruples that disturb
the soul very much, which is what the devil wants to do. If,
especially, the confessor is leading the soul to higher perfection,
the devil afflicts it so much that it abandons the confessor. And
neither if it goes to another confessor nor again to another does
the devil cease to torment it with that temptation.
What souls can do in this situation is to try not to think about
whether they love the confessor or don't love him; but if they do
love him, let them love him. For since we experience love for one
who takes care of our bodies, shouldn't we also love one who
always strives and works to care for our souls? Rather, I hold that
a great principle for making much progress is to love the con-
fessor, if he is holy and spiritual and if I see that he is diligent
about my soul's progress. For our weakness is such that
sometimes this love helps us very much to perform great deeds in
the service of God. If the love is not of this kind, as I have said,
there is danger; and the mere fact that he knows he is loved can
do very serious harm, and in houses where there is a great deal of
enclosure much more than in others. Because it is difficult to
know which confessor is so good, there is need for much caution
and prudence. The best advice is that the confessor not know
that there is such affection and that no one tell him there is. But
the devil so urges the soul to tell the confessor about this love that
such advice becomes useless. It seems to the soul that all it has to
confess is this affection and that it is obliged to confess it. For this
reason I would like the Sisters to realize that this love doesn't
amount to anything and pay no attention to it.
Let them take this counsel: if they know that the confessor
directs all his words to the profit of their souls and they do not see
or know of any other vanity (for this is soon understood by
anyone who doesn't want to become a fool), and they know that
he is God-fearing, they should not weary themselves over any
temptation they may have about their great attachment; when
the devil is worn out he will go away. But if they should become
aware that the confessor is turning toward some vanity in what
Notes-The Way of Perfection
461
he says to them, they should be suspicious about it all and in no
way carry on conversations with him even though these may con-
cern prayer or God; but they should make their confession brief-
ly and bring it to a conclusion. And it would be best to tell the
Mother prioress that your soul doesn't get on well with him and
change confessors. That would be the most proper thing to do, if
there is the opportunity to do so, and I hope in God there will be.
And you should do what you can to avoid speaking with
him — even suffer death."
9. In no. 14.
CHAPTER 5
1. It is worth noting that this Teresian teaching on freedom for
cloistered nuns with regard to confessors was later accepted by
Church law.
2. The first redaction has a somewhat different slant: "Let her
always try to speak to someone with learning; and her nuns
should do so as well. May God deliver them from being ruled in
everything by the confessor if he is not learned, no matter how
spiritual he may seem to be or in fact is."
3. In her Life Teresa mentions several instances in which she re-
ceived bad counsel: ch. 4, no. 7; ch. 5, no. 3; ch. 6, no. 4; ch. 8,
no. 11; ch. 26, no. 3.
4. The first redaction continues: "And do not take away their
freedom to confess at times with learned men and to discuss their
prayer with them even though there are confessors. For many
reasons I know that this is fitting and that the harm that might
arise is nothing in comparison with the deception and great
harm, almost without remedy, so to speak, that comes with the
opposite practice. For what happens in monasteries is that good
soon suffers a decline if it is not preserved with great care, and
evil once it gets started is extremely difficult to get rid of because
very quickly the custom becomes a habit and imperfections
become natural."
5. In Teresa's time the vicar of a cloistered monastery of nuns was a
priest appointed by the local bishop or provincial with special in-
structions concerning the government of the monastery.
6. The first redaction continues, with insistence: "For as I have
said, after everything was considered, grave reasons were found
for deciding that this was the best course of action, that is: that
the chaplain, if there be one, serve as the ordinary confessor and
that when a soul feels the need, confession may be made to per-
462
St. Teresa of Avila
sons like the ones mentioned. These may be named by the
bishop, or if the Mother prioress is such that the bishop entrusts
this task to her, she may name them on her own. Since there are
few nuns, they will take little of anyone's time. This practice was
decided upon after much prayer by many persons including
myself — although wretched — and among many persons of great
learning, intelligence, and prayer. So I hope in the Lord it is the
most fitting thing to do.
7 . The reason the first monastery founded by Teresa was subject to
the jurisdiction of the local bishop at Avila can be found in her
Life, ch. 33, no. 16. See also the original petition to the Holy See
in the latter part of 1561 as well as the brief "ex parte vestra"
(Feb. 7, 1562) in Monumenta Historica Carmeli Teresiani, ed.,
Institutum Historicum Teresianum (Rome: Teresianum,
1973-), 1:5, 10.
CHAPTER 6
1. See ch. 4, no. 12. She intended to explain two kinds of love: one,
purely spiritual; the other, mixed. She continues here the topic
of purely spiritual love.
CHAPTER 7
1. See ch. 6, nos. 6, 9.
2. See ch. 6, no. 9.
3. In no. 4.
4. See ch. 2, note 5.
5. The first redaction concludes in the following way: "Because I
shall treat of this elsewhere, I'll say no more about it here, except
that even though your love may not be as perfect as that just
mentioned, provided that it goes out toward all in general, I
would rather you love one another with tenderness and delight
than that there be a moment of discord. May the Lord not per-
mit such discord because of who His Majesty is. Amen."
CHAPTER 8
1. See ch. 2, note 5.
2. Our Lord called Teresa from the monastery of the Incarnation
in Avila where there were more than 1 80 nuns to found the little
monastery of St. Joseph where the number was lowered to
thirteen.
CHAPTER 9
1. In no. 2.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
463
CHAPTER 10
1. Allusion to Ex. 16; Wis. 16:20.
2. The first redaction puts it more strongly: "Sometimes they feel a
frenzy for doing penance without rhyme or reason, a frenzy that
lasts only a couple of days, so to speak. Subsequently, the devil
makes them imagine that the penances did them harm. No more
penance! Not even, after some attempts, what the order
commands."
CHAPTER 12
1. In ch. 11, no. 5.
2. See ch. 11, no. 4.
3. See no. 1; ch. 11, no. 5.
4. The first redaction adds: "Perform some public mortification
also since they are practiced in this house. Flee these temptations
of the devil as you would a plague, and don't allow him to stay
with you."
5. In no. 6.
6. Jb. 2:9-13.
CHAPTER 13
1. Allusion to Lk. 1:48-52; 14:11.
2. The first redaction goes on at greater length and is put more
strongly: "Oh, what a great act of charity and what a great ser-
vice to God a nun would perform if when she sees that she cannot
follow the practices of perfection and customs of this house she
would recognize the fact and go, and leave the others in peace!
And they shouldn't keep her in any of the monasteries — at least
if they believe me — nor allow her to make profession until after
many years of trial to see if she makes amends. I am not referring
to failures in the penance and fasts. Even though these are faults,
such failures are not things that cause so much harm. But I am
speaking about persons who by temperament like to be esteemed
and honored and who look at the faults of others and never at
their own, and other similar things that truly arise from lack of
humility. If God doesn't favor her with a great spiritual gift and
if after many years you don't see her make amends, may He free
you so that she doesn't remain in your company. Realize that she
won't be at peace nor will she allow anyone else to be. Since you
do not accept a dowry, God grants you the freedom to send a
nun away. What I pity about monasteries is that often, so as not
to return the money, they allow the thief to steal the treasure
from them, or they do so for the sake of the relatives' honor. In
464
St. Teresa of Avila
this house you have risked and lost the honor of this world, for
the poor receive no honor. Don't desire that others have it at
such a cost to yourselves. Our honor, Sisters, must be to serve
God. If someone becomes a hindrance to your doing this, she
should remain at home with her honor. For this reason our
fathers ordained a one-year probation, and in our order we have
the faculty to delay the profession for four years. And in this
house I would like to delay it even ten years. A humble nun will
not mind a delay of profession. She already knows that if she is
good they will not dismiss her; if she is not good, why does she
desire to do harm to this college of Christ? In saying not good,' I
am not speaking of some vanity; for, with God's help, I hope
such a thing will stay far from this house. In saying 'not good,' I
mean not being mortified but being attached to worldly things
or to oneself in the matters I have mentioned. And the nun who
doesn't see much detachment in herself should believe me and
not make profession, if she doesn't want to have a hell here
below. And please God she will not have another in the next life,
for there are many things in her that could cause such a misfor-
tune; and perhaps those in the house will not understand them,
nor perhaps will she, as I have understood them."
CHAPTER 14
1. In sixteenth-century Spain only the first-born male was entitled
to the inheritance. Convent life, as a result, provided a secure
future for many girls, and they often entered a monastery
without a vocation.
CHAPTER 15
1. See ch. 11, no. 5; ch. 16, nos. 1-2.
2. The first redaction goes on in greater detail: "These false accusa-
tions, no matter how serious, did not disturb me. But in little
things I followed my nature — and continue to follow it — without
paying attention to what is more perfect. Hence I would like
each of you to begin early to understand and reflect upon the
much that is gained through all the various ways, and that no
one, in my opinion, loses by following any of them. The main
thing gained is that in some manner we follow the Lord. I say 'in
some manner,' because, as I have mentioned, we are never
blamed without our having faults."
3. Allusion to Prv. 24:16; 1 Jn. 1:8-10.
4. 1 Cor. 14:34.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
465
5. Lk. 7:36-40; 10:38. Mary Magdalene, the repentant sinner, and
Mary of Bethany were generally in Teresa's surroundings
thought to be the same person.
6. Lk. 23:41.
CHAPTER 16
1. The first four paragraphs constituted a separate chapter in the
first redaction under the heading: "Treats of how necessary it
was to mention the things above in order to begin explaining
prayer." Teresa copied the four paragraphs in her second
redaction but then tore them out, perhaps after having had sec-
ond thoughts about the advisability of using a "vanity" like the
game of chess as an example. After tearing out this short chapter
she failed to revise the numbering; thus, a number is missed in
the enumeration of the chapters. This chapter 16, then, of the
second redaction begins with the fifth paragraph, or number 5.
But all editors, from Luis de Leon to those of the present day,
have included these delightful paragraphs in which the chess
game provides Teresa with an opportunity for some profound in-
sights and illustrations.
2. These virtues are humility and keeping silent when falsely ac-
cused. See ch. 15, nos. 2-3.
3. Allusion to Sg. 4:9.
4. See Life, ch. 8, no. 4.
5. The first redaction contains some important differences: "It
often happens that the Lord favors a soul that is in a very wretch-
ed state. It should be understood that it is not then in mortal sin,
in my opinion. God will permit someone who is in mortal sin to
see a vision — even a very good one — so as to bring that person
back to Himself. But I cannot believe that He would place such a
person in contemplation. For in that divine union the Lord
delights in the soul and the soul in Him. It's incongruous that the
purity of heaven would delight in a soul stained with sin or that
the delight of the angels would find comfort in what is not His.
Now we know that by sinning mortally a soul belongs to the
devil; it can delight in him since it has satisfied him, and we
already know that his delights are a continual torment even in
this life. The Lord will always have devoted sons in whom He can
be consoled. He has no need to go about taking those who do not
belong to Him, although His Majesty will do what He often does:
snatch them from the devil's hands."
6. See Mt. 4:5.
466
St. Teresa of Avila
7. In the first redaction Teresa wrote and then crossed out the
following: " . . . and how well he deserved on account of his
boldness that God should create a new hell for him."
8. In no. 6.
9. Allusion to Mt. 21:3.
10. See Ep. 6:9; Ac. 10:34.
11. In no. 6.
CHAPTER 17
1. The monastery of St. Joseph in Avila.
2. In ch. 12, nos. 6-7.
3. Lk. 14:10.
4. In ch. 5, no. 5.
5. The first redaction is more explicit: "I know an elderly
nun — please God my life were as good as hers — who is very holy
and penitential. She is a great nun and recites much vocal and
very ordinary prayer."
6. See Life, ch. 15, no. 14; ch. 17, no. 3; ch. 20, nos. 7, 29.
7. Lk. 10:38-40.
8. Allusion to Lk. 10:41-42.
9. In no. 2.
CHAPTER 18
1. Allusion to Lk. 10:42, of which she spoke in ch. 17, no. 5.
2. The first redaction is more strongly worded: "And how much
better is the pay than that of those who serve the king! The poor
soldiers are continuously in danger of death, and then only God
knows how they are paid." Some authors think this passage
reveals Teresa's worries about her brothers who were among the
conquistadors.
3. In ch. 30, no. 7.
4. In chapter one of her Constitutions, Teresa sets aside two hours
daily for mental prayer in common, one in the morning and one
in the evening.
5. In the first redaction the military metaphor is preserved: "You
don't know when the captain will call you and give you more
work, disguised in delight. If he doesn't, you should understand
that you are not suited for it and that such a situation is what is
fitting for you."
6. Allusion to Mt. 25:1-13.
7. See no. 4 and ch. 17, no. 6.
8. Allusion to Mt. 20:22.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
467
CHAPTER 19
1 . She no doubt has in mind the very popular book by Fray Luis de
Granada, O.P., Libro de Oration y Meditation, published in
Salamanca in 1554 and included in the brief list of books she
recommended for the library of each of her convents. See
Constitutions, ch. 2.
2. Jn. 4:14.
3. Allusion to Sg. 8:7.
4. See Ps. 8:7. The censor, disagreeing with Teresa's interpreta-
tion, crossed out this section and noted in the margin: "This is
not the meaning of the scriptural passage; it refers to Christ and
to Adam as he was in the state of innocence."
5. In ch. 16, nos. 6-13.
6. Note that for Teresa the "living water" refers to contemplation,
in contrast to the "muddy water" which refers to discursive
prayer.
7. She is speaking of herself . See Life, ch. 20; Spir. Test., 1. The
first redaction reads as follows: "So great was her thirst, so much
was her desire increasing that she understood clearly it would
have been possible to die of love if the raptures hadn't soothed
the thirst. Blessed be He who in His Gospel invites us to drink!
Thus, since in our Lord and our Good there cannot be anything
imperfect, He gives us what we need; it belongs to Him alone to
give us this water."
8. In no. 8.
9. See Ph. 1:23.
10. This account can be found in Cassian's Conferences. See Philip
Schaff and Henry Wace, gen. ed., The Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers, Series Two, 14 vols. (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1964),
vol. IT. The Second Conference of Abbot Moses, p. 310. Most
probably Teresa knew of this story from the Vida de los Santos
Padres published in Zaragosa, 1511. In the process of beatifica-
tion Petronila Bautista tells of Teresa's enthusiasm for the con-
ferences of Cassian. "She was very devoted to the Conferences of
Cassian and of the Fathers of the Desert, and so when this witness
was with her the Holy Mother asked her to read two or three ac-
counts of those saints each day and at night tell her about them
since she herself didn't have the time to do so because of her just
and holy occupations ..." BMC, 19:591.
11. In no. 2.
12. This quotation probably amounts to a combination of Jn. 7:37
and Mt. 11:28.
468
St. Teresa of Avila
CHAPTER 20
1. In ch. 17, no. 2.
2. Allusion to Jn. 14:2.
3. Allusion to Pr. 1:20; Jn. 7:37.
CHAPTER 21
1. She returns to the theme she began to deal with in ch. 19, nos.
1-2.
2. Allusion to Jn. 4:14.
3. In the first redaction she refers to certain books she had read:
"...and although I have read in some books, and even in
several, how good it is to begin with such an attitude, nothing
will be lost, in my opinion, by mentioning it here."
4. A reference to ch. 19, no. 2.
5. In the first redaction she refers to her Life: "I will deal only brief-
ly with the more sublime things, for, as I say, I have already writ-
ten about them."
The last line of the text alludes to the prohibition in 1559 by
the Inquisitor, Don Fernando Valdes, of spiritual books written
in the vernacular. See Life, ch. 26, no. 5; also below, note 8 and
ch. 38, no. 1.
6. In the beginning she had the intention of writing about both the
Our Father and the Hail Mary. See ch. 24, no. 2; ch. 42, no. 4.
7. Mt. 11:12.
8. A new reference to the matter mentioned in note 5 of this
chapter. One of the censors objected to the statement by com-
menting in the margin: "It seems here that she is reprimanding
the Inquisitors who prohibited books on prayer." Teresa exclud-
ed the sentence from her second redaction and crossed it out in
her first redaction.
9. In no. 5.
10. "Each of you is to remain in his cell or nearby day and night
meditating on the law of the Lord and watching in prayer ..."
See The Rule of Saint Albert, Eds. H. Clarke, O. Carm. and B.
Edwards, O.C.D. (Aylesford: Carmelite Priory, 1973), pp.
82-83.
CHAPTER 22
1. In her visit to Dona Luisa de la Cerda. See Life, ch. 34.
2. The first redaction adds: "For, though being what I am, I would
like to shout and argue with those who say mental prayer is not
necessary."
Notes-The Way of Perfection
469
3. The first redaction concludes: "Don't let anyone frighten you
with these fears. Praise God, for He is all powerful and will not
let them take mental prayer away from you. On the contrary,
anyone who cannot pray vocally with this attention should
realize that he isn't fulfilling his obligation. He must strive for
this attention with every effort — if he wants to pray with perfec-
tion — under pain of not doing what is required of the bride of so
great a King. Beg Him, daughters, to give me the grace to do
what I am counseling you to do, for I fail very much in this mat-
ter. May His Majesty provide because of who He is."
CHAPTER 23
1. Allusion to Jn. 4:14.
2. In ch. 19, no. 15.
3. Allusion to Mt. 19:29.
4. Lk. 11:9.
5. The first redaction concludes as follows: "This is absolutely true;
I know it is so. If they don't find this is true, they shouldn't
believe me in anything I say. Sisters, you already know it through
experience; and, through the goodness of God, I can present you
as witnesses. What has been said is good for those who are to
come."
CHAPTER 24
1. She takes up once more the subject mentioned in ch. 19, no. 2
and also in ch. 21, no. 3.
2. In ch. 5, no. 5; ch. 17, no. 2; ch. 20, no. 1. See also Life, ch. 13,
no. 13; ch. 22, no. 2; Interior Castle, VI, ch. 7, no. 12; Founda-
tions, ch. 5, no. 1.
3. Mt. 6:6.
4. Allusion to Lk. 6:12.
5. In ch. 22, no. 8.
CHAPTER 25
1. A reference to The Book of Her Life. See also above, prol., no.
4. In the Life she explains at length the nature of contemplation.
See chs. 14-21 and chs. 22-31. See especially ch. 14, nos. 2,6; ch.
18, no. 14.
2. In the first redaction this number reads quite differently: "It is
all explained well in the book I mentioned I wrote, and thus
there is no reason to deal with it here in any particular way.
There, I said everything I knew. If God brings any among you to
470
St. Teresa of A vtla
this state of contemplation — for, as I said, some of you are in
it — you should strive to obtain that book after I die; it will mean
a lot to you. Those of you who are not in this state will have no
reason to do anything but struggle to carry out what is men-
tioned in this book I'm writing now, to make progress in as many
ways as you can, and to use diligence; for the Lord will grant you
the ability to do these things if you beg Him for it and adopt the
proper measures. As for the rest, the Lord Himself will give it
and not deny it to anyone who reaches the end of the journey by
fighting as has been said."
CHAPTER 26
1. In ch. 24, no. 2.
2. Sg. 2:14.
3. Allusion to Ru. 1:15.
4. The first redaction reads: " . . . grow accustomed to recalling that
the Lord is present within you and to speaking with Him
often ..."
CHAPTER 27
1. Mt. 6:9.
2. The expressions "to enter within itself and "to rise above itself
were current among writers of the time. As used here, the first
refers to the act of interior recollection; the second to mystical
prayer. In other places Teresa criticizes the theory which urges
the soul to rise above itself through its own efforts. See Life, ch.
22, nos. 1-7; Interior Castle, IV, ch. 3, nos. 2,6.
3. Allusion to Mt. 24:35; Mk. 13:31; Lk. 21:33.
4. Allusion to Lk. 15:11-32.
5. Allusion to Ep. 3:15; 2 P. 1:4.
6. Allusion to Jn. 17:21; 10:30; 8:29.
7. One of the censors wrote in the margin: "I don't know where she
got this." She could have read it in the Flos Sanctorum of her
time. From the etymology Bar-tholomaeus, son of Ptolemaeus, it
was deduced that the Apostle was a descendant of the Ptolemies.
8. The first redaction reads: "And if something of this attitude is
present in one of the nuns, don't consent to having her in the
house; she is a Judas among the apostles. Do all you can to free
yourselves from such bad company. And if you cannot do this,
punish her with more severe penances than you would use for
any other fault, until she recognizes that she doesn't deserve to be
made from even a very wretched kind of mud. The good Jesus
Notes-The Way of Perfection
471
gives you a good Father. Let no one in this house speak about
any other father than the one your Spouse has given you."
CHAPTER 28
1. Mt. 6:9
2. A reference either to pseudo-Augustinian Soliloquies, ch. 31; or
to the Confessions, X, ch. 27. See Life, ch. 40, no. 6.
3. Allusion to Ps. 55:7.
CHAPTER 29
1. In ch. 28, no. 2.
2. Ps. 34:19.
3. She takes up again the theme of ch. 28, nos. 2, 11-13, mentioned
in the heading of this chapter.
4. Allusion to Jn. 15:5.
5. She is probably alluding to The Ascent of Mount Sion by Bernar-
dino de Laredo, trans. E. A. Peers (London: Faber and Faber,
Ltd., 1950).
CHAPTER 30
1. Mt. 26:39.
2. Mt. 6:9-10.
3. In the revised manuscript of Toledo, Teresa states more
specifically: ". . .the holy Roman Church."
4. In ch. 25, no. 1.
5 . In the first redaction she adds the detail that this person was an
elderly nun.
CHAPTER 31
1. In ch. 30, no. 6.
2. Lk. 2:29
3. Mt. 17:4
4. Teresa is speaking of herself. According to an annotation she
made in the ms. of Toledo, the "great contemplative" she con-
sulted was St. Francis Borgia, S.J.
5. Lk. 18:13; actually ". . .the publican would not even lift up his
eyes to heaven.
6. The two faculties are the intellect and the memory. See no. 3. It
is the will alone that is in the state of quiet. The intellect that is
"so distracted" includes the imagination. In the ms. of Toledo
above the word "intellect" Teresa wrote "or imagination." A lit-
tle further on when speaking of paying no more attention to the
472
St. Teresa of Avila
intellect than to a madman, she wrote, in the ms. of Toledo,
above the word "intellect," "or mind or imagination, for I don't
know what it is." And again in no. 10 of the ms. of Toledo, to
"that which torments the will is the intellect," she added "or
imagination."
7. In no. 6.
8. In no. 4.
CHAPTER 32
1 . In the first redaction this passage reads: "Don't be like some nuns
that do nothing but promise; and since they don't keep anything,
they say they didn't understand what they promised when they
made profession. I believe this because it is easy to talk and dif-
ficult to act. And if they thought that words are equal to deeds,
they certainly didn't understand. Make those who will profess
vows here learn through a long trial period not to think their life
will amount to words alone, without deeds also. So I want you to
know whom you are dealing with, as they say, and what the good
Jesus offers the Father through you and what you are giving
when you pray that His will be done in you, for you are giving
nothing else than that."
2. Mt. 26:39.
3. In ch. 19.
4. In ch. 29, no. 4.
CHAPTER 33
1. In the preceding chapter.
2. In no. 1.
3. Mt. 3:15.
4. In the Castilian version of the Our Father the order in the peti-
tion would literally be: "Give us our daily bread this day."
5. Mt. 26:15.
CHAPTER 34
1. The first redaction contains some further thoughts: "In writing
this I have felt the desire to know why, after the Lord said 'daily,'
He then repeated by saying 'this day.' I want to tell you of my
foolish reflections. If they are foolish, so be it because it is foolish
enough of me to get involved in this explanation. But since we
are learning about what we are asking for, let us think carefully
about what it is so that, as I have said, we may appreciate its
value and be thankful to Him who with so much care is teaching
us."
Notes-The Way of Perfection
473
2. In the first redaction she went on more at length: "With regard
to the unfortunate ones who will be condemned, who will not en-
joy Him in the next life, He did all He could for their profit and
to be with them on 'this day' of this life to strengthen them. If
they let themselves be conquered, it will not be His fault. And so
as to win consent from the Father, He reminds Him that it will
be for only a day."
3. Allusion to Ex. 16:3-4.
4. In chs. 2 and 8.
5. Teresa is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 30, no. 14; Spir.
Test., 1, no. 23
6. Allusion to Lk. 7:36-48. See also Life, ch. 22, note 20 in The
Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, vol. 1, p. 296.
7. Allusion to Mt. 9:20-22; Lk. 8:43-44.
8. Allusion to Mt. 20:22.
9. The first redaction adds: "reflect that this is a most advan-
tageous hour for the soul, during which Jesus is very pleased if
you keep Him company. Take great care, daughters, not to lose
it."
10. Here Teresa left out an interesting remark from the first redac-
tion: "I don't say that you shouldn't recite vocal prayers (don't
take me literally and say that I am dealing with contempla-
tion—unless the Lord places you in it), but that if you recite the
Our Father you should understand how truly you are present
with Him who taught it to you, kiss His feet in gratitude for it,
and beg Him not to leave you."
11. In the first redaction she was more explicit: "It is a wonderful
comfort to see an image of our Lady or of some saint to whom we
are devoted — how much more of Christ — and something that
greatly awakens devotion and that I would like to see at every
turn of my head and glance of my eyes."
12. In nos. 5, 10.
CHAPTER 35
1. In ch. 3, nos. 8-10.
2. Allusion to Lk. 11:9.
3. The first redaction contains a further lament: "For it seems they
want to cast Him out of the world by tearing down sacred
buildings, killing so many priests, profaning so many chur-
ches—even Christians sometimes go to church more with the in-
tention of offending Him than of worshiping Him."
4. Allusion to Mt. 8:25-26.
474
St. Teresa of Avila
CHAPTER 36
1. Mt. 6:12.
2. In the manuscript of Toledo Teresa wrote in the margin: "Bless-
ed be God! Such a thing does not apply to this house. To say it
does would be untrue because the one who has been prioress is
the one who afterward humbles herself most. But I say this
because it is so common in other monasteries that I fear the devil
will tempt us in this way. I consider it so dangerous that, please
God, no soul ..."
3. In no. 2.
4. In chs. 25 and 26.
5. In ch. 18.
6. In nos. 8-9.
CHAPTER 37
1 . In the first redaction she alludes to her Life: "... for if I had not
written about it elsewhere — and also so as not to go on at greater
length, which would be a bother — a large book on prayer could
be written ..."
2. In no. 2.
3. In the first redaction, instead of the preceding passage and the
previous number, we read: "Blessed be His name forever and
ever, amen! And I ask the Eternal Father through Him to forgive
my debts and great sins — for I have had no one nor anything to
forgive, and every day I have something that needs to be
forgiven — and give me grace so that one day I may have
something to offer with my petition. That we might in some way
appear to be sons of such a Father and brothers of such a
Brother, Jesus taught us this sublime way of prayer and petition-
ed that we be angelic beings in this exile — provided that we strive
with every effort to make our deeds conform to our words. We
may thus know that if, as I mention, we do what we say, the Lord
will not fail to accomplish what we ask, will give us His kingdom,
and help with supernatural things (the prayer of quiet and
perfect contemplation and the other favors the Lord grants us in
such prayer in return for our efforts). Everything is small as far
as what we can strive for and obtain on our own. But since this is
what we ourselves can do, very certainly the Lord will help us
because His Son asks this for us."
CHAPTER 38
1. In ch. 36, nos. 8-10.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
475
2. Allusion to 2 Co. 11:14.
3. Allusion to 1 Co. 10:13.
4. The first redaction goes into more detail, but the Spanish of the
passage is obscure and confusing. Here is an attempt at transla-
tion: "For without our realizing it, while it seems to us that we
are proceeding safely, we cause ourselves to fall into a pit we can-
not escape from. Although it may not always be a matter of a
known mortal sin which would bring us to hell, it will weaken
our legs along this road I began to tell you about — for I have not
forgotten. Well you know how a person advances when he's bog-
ged in a pit: his life ends there, and he will be doing enough if he
doesn't keep from sinking lower, on into hell; he never improves.
Since he doesn't improve, being there is of benefit neither to
himself nor to others; rather, it does harm. For since the pit is
dug out, many others who go along the way can also fall into it.
If he gets out and covers it over with dirt, he does no harm to
himself or to others. But I tell you that this temptation is very
dangerous; I know much about it through experience, and so I
am able to tell you about it; although not as well as I should like.
The devil makes you think you are poor and makes even others
who practice prayer think this of themselves. And he is somewhat
right because you have promised poverty — orally, that is. I say
orally, for it is impossible that, if with the heart we understand
what we promise and then promise it, the devil could draw us for
twenty years and even our whole lives into this temptation; 'im-
possible,' because we would see that we are deceiving the world
and our own selves.
Well now, someone thinking he is poor or after having promis-
ed poverty will say: 'I don't want anything; I have this because I
can't get along without it; the fact is I have to live in order to
serve God. God wants us to care for these bodies.' The devil, like
an angel, teaches a thousand different kinds of things here — for
all these things are good — and so he makes the soul think it is
already poor and has this virtue, that everything is accomplish-
ed. Now let us come to the test; for this deception of the devil is
not recognized in any other way than by always checking careful-
ly one's attitudes; and if care is taken a sign will be given very
soon: the person has more income than he needs (I mean than he
really needs, that if he can manage with one servant he not have
three); someone brings a lawsuit against him for some of it, or a
poor peasant fails to pay his rent, and the person becomes so
disturbed and makes such a big issue of it that one would think
476
St. Teresa of Avila
he couldn't live without the money. He will say that he has to be
a good administrator — for there is always some excuse. I don't
say that he should give everything up but that he should strive to
know whether what he is doing is good or not. For the truly poor
person holds these things in so little esteem that, though for some
reason he obtains them, they are never the cause of disturbance;
he never thinks he will be in want. And if he does lack
something, he doesn't care much; he considers this an accessory
and not the main thing. Since he has higher thoughts, only
reluctantly does he become involved with money.
If he is a religious, whether man or woman (for it is already
verified that such a person is religious, at least should be), he
may not have anything because sometimes nobody gives him
anything. But if somebody gives him something, it's a wonder if
he thinks it to be more than enough. He always likes to hold on
to something. If he can have a habit made out of fine cloth he
doesn't ask for one from rough cloth. He keeps some little things
he can pawn or sell, even though they may be books; for if a
sickness comes he will need more comfort than usual.
Sinner that I am! JJere now; is that what you promised? Forget
yourselves and surrender to God come what may. If you go about
providing for the future, it would be better for you to have a fix-
ed revenue. Even though this may be done without sin, it's good
that we understand these imperfections so as to see that we are
far from having this virtue; and we may then ask for it from God
and strive for it. In thinking that we have it, we become careless
and mistaken, which is worse.
This also happens to us in regard to humility: it seems to us we
don't want honor or that we couldn't care less about anything.
The occasion arises in which a point of honor is at stake, and at
once, in what you feel and do, you realize that you are not hum-
ble. For if something brings you more honor, you do not re-
nounce it — nor do those we mentioned even who are poor in
spirit — for the sake of growing more in humility. And please God
they will not go seeking out honor! And so often do some repeat
that they don't want anything or care about anything that as a
matter of fact they think this is so. Even the habit of saying it
makes them believe it more."
5. Allusion to Mk. 14:38-39; see also Mt. 6:13.
6. In nos. 6-7.
Notes-The Way of Perfection
477
CHAPTER 39
1 . For Teresa's own experience in this matter see Life, ch. 7, nos. 1,
11; ch. 8, no. 5.
2. In place of the above paragraphs the first redaction has the
following: "Well be on guard, daughters, against some humble
thoughts, caused by the devil, with their great disquiet over the
seriousness of past sins, about whether I deserve to approach
Communion or whether I have prepared myself well or about my
unworthiness to live with good people; things of this sort. When
such thoughts come with quiet, calm, and delight, they should
be esteemed because they bring self-knowledge. But if they come
with agitation, disquiet, and oppression of soul, and if the mind
cannot be quieted, believe that they are a temptation and don't
consider yourselves humble; humility doesn't come in this way."
CHAPTER 40
1. In ch. 38, nos. 3-4.
2. She writes about it in ch. 41.
3. Allusion to Ps. 89:50.
4. In ch. 16, nos. 6-8; ch. 25, nos. 1-5.
5. Teresa expressed herself more strongly in the first redaction: "As I
say, then, this love is recognized when it is present, just as the love
between a man and woman cannot be concealed; the more it is
hidden the more it seems to reveal itself. However, since the love is
for nothing but a worm, it doesn't even deserve the name 'love';
for it is founded on nothing — it's disgusting to make this com-
parison. And could one conceal a love so strong as is love of God,
founded on such cement, having so much to love and so many
reasons for loving? In sum, it is love and merits the name 'love,' for
where it is present the vanities of the world must be shunned."
6. After "the bad inn lasts for only a night," the first redaction ends
briefly with: "Let us praise God and always beseech Him to keep
us in His hands, and all sinners as well, and not lead us into these
hidden temptations."
CHAPTER 41
1 . The first redaction continues thus: "Now let us deal with the fear
of God, although I feel badly about not speaking for a while of
this love of the world, for I know it well — on account of my
sins — and I should like to teach you about it so that you might
free yourselves from it forever. But because I am getting off the
subject I will have to let this go."
478
St. Teresa of Avila
2. See ch. 40, note 2.
3. In ch. 40, no. 3; ch. 16, nos. 6-9.
4. In nos. 1,3.
5. In no. 3.
6. In nos. 5-6.
7. The first redaction has a richer conclusion: "Here you see how
with these two virtues — love and fear of God — you can advance
on this road with calm and not think that at every step you see a
ditch you could fall into; that way you would never arrive. But
since we cannot even know with certitude that we in truth have
these two virtues that are necessary, the Lord, taking pity on us
because we live in so uncertain a life and among so many temp-
tations and dangers, teaching us to ask — and asking for us — says
with good reason: But deliver us from evil. Amen."
CHAPTER 42
1. Lk. 22:15.
2. Allusion to 1 Jn. 1:10.
3. In Ph. 4:13.
4. Allusion to Ml. 3:20.
5. She speaks at length of this fount of living water in ch. 19.
6. She is referring to The Book of her Life.
MEDITATIONS ON THE SONG OF SONGS
INTRODUCTION
1. See Prologue and ch. 1, no. 8.
2. Ch. 1, no. 8.
3. See ibid.
4. Ch. 1, no. 4.
5. Ch. 1, no. 6.
6. Ch. 1, no. 8.
7. Prologue, no. 1.
8. Ch. 6, no. 8.
9. Ch. 1, no. 8.
10. Life, ch. 15, no. 8.
11. Ch. 1, no. 11.
12. See ch. 1, no. 8.
13. Ch. 1, no. 2.
14. See ch. 6, no. 7.
Notes-Meditations on The Song of Songs
479
15. Cf. Interior Castle, VI, ch. 10, no. 5; Life, ch. 23, nos. 1-5.
16. Cf. Interior Castle, VII, ch. 1, nos. 6-7; Spiritual Testimonies,
13; 65, no. 9.
17. Cf. Spiritual Testimonies, 3, no. 10; Life, ch. 6, no. 9; ch. 18,
no. 14; Interior Castle, V, ch. 2, no. 4; VII, ch. 2, no. 5.
18. Cf. Interior Castle, VII, ch. 2, nos. 6-7; VII, ch. 3, no. 13.
19. See ch. 6, no. 8.
20. See Biblioteca Mistica Carmelitana, ed. Silverio de Santa
Teresa, vol. 18 (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo 1934), p. 320.
21. See ibid., vol. 20 (1935), p. 349.
22. In ch. 1, no. 8.
23. See ch. 3, no. 8.
24. In ch. 7, no. 2.
25. In ch. 4, no. 1.
26. For further details on some of these matters see D. De Pablo
Maroto, "Meditaciones Sobre Los Cantares," Introduccion A La
Lectura De Santa Teresa (Madrid: Espiritualidad, 1978), pp.
383-391; Pietro della Madre di Dio, "La Sacra Scrittura nelle
Opere di S. Teresa di Gesu," Rivista Di Vita Spirituale 18
(1964): 41-102; and Tomas De La Cruz, "Santa Teresa De Jesus
Contemplativa," Ephemerides Carmeliticae 13 (1962): 9-62.
PROLOGUE
1. About five lines are missing from the first page which is torn.
2 . The prologue is incomplete for the same reason given in note 1 .
CHAPTER 1
1. The liturgy on Holy Thursday recalls Jesus' washing of the
disciples' feet and the mandatum novum (the new command-
ment of love). Seejn. 13:1-17, 34.
2. In no. 5; she is referring to herself.
3. In no. 1.
4. In no. 2.
5. Allusion to the Life and the Way of Perfection.
6. In ch. 2. no. 16.
CHAPTER 2
1. Allusion to Jb. 7:1.
2. In chs. 4-7.
3. In no. 2.
4. Allusion to Mt. 25:1-14.
5. Allusion to Lk. 12:16-21.
480
St. Teresa of Avila
6. In no. 7.
7. The "discipline" is a term used to refer to the practice of self-
scourging with knotted cords, a method of physical penance
commonly performed in monastic orders. According to Teresa's
Constitutions the discipline of cords is to be taken on Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday.
8. In Teresa's Constitutions the woolen tunics are to be made of
coarse material.
9. The Constitutions of Teresa also state that the Sisters, as the rule
commands, are never to eat meat except out of necessity.
10. The topic begun in no. 6, and then set aside.
11. In ch. 1, no. 2.
12. See Way of Perfection, ch. 18, no. 2; ch. 32, no. 7; ch. 41, no. 8;
Interior Castle, II, ch. 1, no. 6; VI, ch. 4; ch. 5, nos. 1, 6 and 12.
13. See Foundations, ch. 6, nos. 9-13, 18-19.
14. The first has to do with the world, its comforts and enjoyments
(no. 22); the second with honor and esteem (no. 26).
15. Mt. 14:29.
16. See Way of Perfection, ch. 42, nos. 3-4; Life, ch. 13, nos. 3-6;
Interior Castle, I, ch. 2, no. 10.
17. St. Diego of Alcala (d. 1463) was a popular saint in Teresa's time
because of the miraculous cure of Prince Charles in 1563 which
was attributed to him.
CHAPTER 3
1. In no. 1.
2. She is speaking of St. Paulinus of Nola (353-431).
3. This person was Alonso de Cordobilla. He sailed from Cadiz and
died in Gibraltar October 28, 1566.
4. Mk. 14:38.
5. Mt. 26:38.
6. Sg. 1:2.
CHAPTER 4
1. She alludes to Life, chs. 14-15 and Way of Perfection, chs.
30-31, where she deals with the prayer of quiet.
2. See above note 1.
3. See this same comparison made in Way of Perfection, ch. 31,
no. 9.
4. Rm. 8:18.
5. Sg. 6:3; 2:16.
6. See the corresponding locutions relative to the spiritual marriage
in Interior Castle, VII, ch. 2, no. 1, ch. 3, no. 2; Spir. Test., 31.
Notes-The Interior Castle
481
7. See Confessions of St. Augustine, X, ch. 29.
8. Sg. 2:16.
CHAPTER 5
1. Sg. 2:3-4.
2. Allusion to Wis. 16:20.
3. Lk. 1:35.
4. Ac. 9:3-11.
5. Allusion to Sg. 2:5.
6. See ch. 4, no. 1; she is alluding to either the Life or the Way of
Perfection.
CHAPTER 6
1. Allusion to Sg. 2:3.
2. In her monastery where she is writing; possibly in Avila.
3. Lk. 1:34-35.
4. Sg. 4:7.
5. Sg. 6:10.
6. Sg. 2:5.
CHAPTER 7
1. She is referring to her experience in Salamanca, 1571, described
in Spir. Test., 12; see also Interior Castle, VI, ch. 11, nos. 8-10.
2. See Life, ch. 30, no. 19.
3. Allusion to Jn. 4:39-43.
4. Sg. 8:4.
5. In ch. 4, nos. 4-5.
6. She is alluding probably to her Life, ch. 13, nos. 8-10.
THE INTERIOR CASTLE
INTRODUCTION
1. Antonio De San Joaquin, "Anotaciones al P. Ribera," Ano Tere-
siano, 12 vols. (Madrid, 1733-1769), 8:149-150.
2. I, ch. 2, no. 7; see also IV, ch. 1, no. 1; ch. 2, no. 7.
3. Prologue, no. 1 .
4. For a detailed treatment of this whole question, cf. Efren de La
Madre de Dios and Otger Steggink, Tiempo Y Vida De Santa
Teresa (Madrid: BAC, 1977), pp. 701-805; cf. also Ildefonso
Moriones, El Carmelo Teresiano (Vitoria: Ediciones El Carmen,
1978), pp. 97-180. For a treatment of these questions from a
482
St. Teresa of Avila
different perspective, cf. Joachim Smet, The Carmelites: The
Post Tridentine Period, vol. 2 (Darien, 111.: Carmelite Spiritual
Center, 1976), pp. 1-131.
5. Letters, October 22, 1577.
6. IV, ch. 2, no. 1.
7. V, ch. 4, no. 1.
8. Prologue, no. 1.
9. Ibid.
10. Epilogue, no. 1.
11. VI, ch. 4, no. 9.
12. IV, ch. 1, no. 1; see also V, ch. 4, no. 11.
13. Biblioteca Mistica Carmelitana, ed., Silverio de Santa Teresa,
vol. 18 (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo 1934), p. 315.
14. I, ch. 1, no. 1.
15. Way of Perfection, ch. 28, no. 9.
16. Biblioteca Mistica, vol. 18, pp. 276-278.
17. Ibid., vol. 2 (1915), p. 493.
18. Life, ch. 40, no. 5.
19. Cf. no. 10.
20. Cf. I, ch. 1, nos. 2-3.
21. Epilogue, no. 3.
22. Cf. I, ch. 1, no. 7.
23. Cf. ibid., nos. 6, 8.
24. I, ch. 2, no. 14.
25. Cf. VII, ch. 4, no. 9.
26. Cf. Ill, ch. 1, no. 5
27. Cf. Ill, ch. 2, nos. 4-5,7,8.
28. Cf. Ill, ch. 2, no. 13; ch. 1, no. 7.
29. Cf. Ill, ch. 2, no. 9.
30. I, ch. 2, no. 7.
31. Cf. Tomas de la Cruz, "Santa Teresa de Jesus Contemplativa,"
Ephemerides Carmeliticae 13(1962): 9-62.
32. Cf. IV, ch. 1, no. 1.
33. Cf. ibid., no. 4.
34. Ibid., no. 7.
35. Ibid.
36. Cf. IV. ch. 3, nos. 1-3.
37. Cf. ibid., no. 8.
38. IV, ch. 2, nos. 3, 8, 9.
39. Cf. V, ch. 1, nos. 3-5, 9-10.
40. Cf. ibid., nos. 5, 11.
41. Cf. V, ch. 2, nos. 2-5.
42. Cf. V, ch. 4, no. 4.
Notes-The Interior Castle
483
43. Cf. ibid., no. 9.
44. Cf. VI, ch. 1, no. 1.
45. Cf. VI, ch. 2, no. 1; ch. 4, no. 1.
46. VI, ch. 4, no. 1.
47. Cf. VI, ch. 1, nos. 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9.
48. Cf. VI, ch. 2.
49. VI, ch. 4, no. 2.
50. Cf. ibid., nos. 3-4.
51. Cf. ibid., nos. 5,8.
52. Cf. VI, ch. 5, no. 10.
53. Cf. VI, ch. 6, nos. 10-13.
54. VI, ch. 7, no. 13.
55. Cf. ibid., nos. 6, 7, 11, 12.
56. VI, ch. 11, nos. 1,6.
57. Cf. ibid., nos. 2, 4, 11.
58. Cf. VI, ch. 4, no. 4.
59. Cf. VII, ch. 1, no. 5.
60. Ibid., no. 6.
61. Ibid., no. 8.
62. Ibid., nos. 8-9.
63. VII, ch. 2, no. 1.
64. Ibid., no. 3.
65. Cf. ibid., no. 4.
66. Ibid., no. 5.
67. Cf. VII, ch. 4, nos. 4, 6, 9, 12.
68. Ibid., nos. 14-15.
69. Cf. Jose Vicente Rodriguez, "Castillo Interior O Las Moradas,"
Introduction A La Lectura De Santa Teresa (Madrid:
Espiritualidad, 1978): 368-371.
70. See III, ch. 1, no. 1, note 2.
71. See "Castillo Interior O Las Moradas," p. 318.
PROLOGUE
1. An allusion to her Life and The Way of Perfection.
2. This is a veiled reference to her Life. The autograph of this work
was requested by the Inquisition in 1576 and kept in its archives
until 1588.
3. It was June 2, 1577. She completed the work in Avila on
November 29 of the same year.
4. These were Fr. Jerome Gratian and her confessor Dr. Alonso
Velazquez, future bishop of Osma and later archbishop of San-
tiago de Compostela.
484
St, Teresa of Avila
THE FIRST DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. Allusion to Jn. 14:2. Teresa uses the Spanish words moradas,
aposentos, and piezas in approximately the same sense; they
refer to rooms or dwelling places within the castle. The fun-
damental text of Jn. 14:2 has led previous translators to speak of
these rooms as mansions. Most people today think of a mansion
as a large stately house, not what Teresa had in mind with the
term moradas. New versions of Scripture render Jn. 14:2 as "in
my Father's house there are many dwelling places." "Dwelling
places" turns out to be a more precise translation of Teresa's
moradas than is the classic "mansions," and more biblical and
theological in tone.
2. Allusion to Pr. 8:31.
3. Gn. 1:26-27.
4. In no. 1.
5. Jn. 9:2-3.
6. She is probably alluding to Osuna's Third Spiritual Alphabet
and Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion, favorite books of hers. See
Life,
ch.4, no. 7; ch. 23, no. 12.
7. She also received in an intellectual vision mystical understanding
of this truth. See Spir. Test., 20.
8. Gn. 19:26.
9. Fr. Gratian added "and eight" after "thirty years," in accor-
dance with Jn. 5:5.
10. Allusion to Mt. 6:21.
CHAPTER 2
1. Allusion to Ps. 1:3.
2. The person is Teresa herself. See Spir. Test., 20.
3. For similar comparisons see Life, ch. 40. no. 5; Spir. Test., 52.
4. Allusion to Ps. 127:1.
5. In no. 2.
6. See her Constitutions, nos. 2,7.
7 . Teresa laments the fact there are few books that explain mystical
(supernatural) prayer in depth. In no. 1 of the following chapter
she asserts that there are many books dealing with ascetical mat-
ters. Thus her orientation in this book is toward the mystical.
8. She is referring to the Life and the Way of Perfection, and
alludes to a divine influence in the composition of her mystical
Notes-The Interior Castle: II
485
writings. See Life, ch. 39, no. 8: . .many of the things I write
about here do not come from my own head, but my heavenly
Master told them to me."
9. In no. 7.
10. A plant about a foot in height, which grows in Andalusia and
Valencia, resembling the palm tree. Only the center or heart,
the tender part, is eaten.
11. In no. 10.
12. See no. 8. Teresa avoids any arrangement of these dwelling
places into neatly structured rows with set numbers. She thereby
in her allegory makes it easy for us to imagine a marvelous depth
and abundance of inner riches.
13. In the Way of Perfection, ch. 39, no. 5. See also Life, ch. 13, no.
15.
14. In ch. 1, no. 8.
15. In nos. 4, 12.
16. Allusion to 2 Co. 11:14.
17. In the Way of Perfection, ch. 38, no. 2; ch. 39 passim.
18. See Life, ch. 13, nos. 8, 10; Way of Perfection, ch. 4; Method for
the Visitation of Monasteries, nos. 17, 20, 21.
THE SECOND DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. See Life, chs. 11-13; Way of Perfection, passim.
2. In VI, ch. 3.
3. Lk. 15:16.
4. Allusion to Jn. 15:5.
5. Allusion to Jgs. 7:5.
6. See Life, ch. 4, no. 2; ch. 11, nos. 10-15; Way of Perfection,
ch. 20, no. 2; ch. 21, no. 2; chs. 23, 36, 41.
7. Allusion to Wis. 16:20.
8. Allusion to Mt. 20:22.
9. In V, ch. 3, nos. 3-12.
10. Jn. 20:19-21.
11. In no. 1.
12. Allusion to Sir. 3:25.
13. Jn. 14:6.
14. Jn. 14:9.
15. Allusion to Mt. 10:24.
16. Allusion to Mt. 26:41.
486
St. Teresa of Avila
THE THIRD DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. Ps. 112:1.
2. Teresa commissioned Fr. Jerome Gratian to review her work.
Gratian did so scrupulously and made corrections here and there
throughout the manuscript. For example, in this passage he
crossed out the word "secure" and substituted "right." In fact
this whole chapter has a number of corrections by Gratian who
was fearful lest the Saint affirm any certitude about the state of
grace, or security about one's own salvation, that would have
gone contrary to the teaching of the Council of Trent or have
been similar to certain theories of the Alumbrados. Fortunately,
Gratian made the deletion marks so as to leave the original com-
pletely legible. The Jesuit Ribera, in turn, corrected Gratian's
corrections with marginal comments such as the following: "One
doesn't have to cross out any of the holy Mother's words." A
futher example of the skirmish that went on in the margins of
Teresa's manuscript can be found in no. 8 of this chapter. In
that delicate passage Teresa wrote: "Shouldn't we consider
ourselves lucky to be able to repay something of what we owe
Him for His service toward us? I say these words 'His service
toward us' unwillingly; but the fact is that He did nothing else
but serve us all the time He lived in this world." Gratian changed
"His service toward us" to "having died for us" and crossed out
what followed. Ribera again noted: "Nothing should be deleted;
what the Saint said has been very well said." All of this led to
Ribera's written admonition on the first page of the autograph of
The Interior Castle: "What the holy Mother wrote in this book is
frequently crossed out, and other words are added or a gloss is
made in the margin. Usually the cancellation is poorly conceived
and the text is better the way it was first written . . . And since I
have read and looked over this work with a certain amount of
care, I think I should advise anyone reading it to read it as the
holy Mother wrote it, for she understood and said things better,
and to pay no attention to what was added or changed unless the
correction was made by the Saint herself in her own hand, which
is seldom. And I ask out of charity anyone who reads this book to
reverence the words and letters formed by so holy a hand and try
to understand her correctly; and you will see that there is
nothing to correct. Even if you do not understand, believe that
she who wrote it knew better and that the words cannot be cor-
Notes-The Interior Castle: IV
487
rected well unless their meaning is fully understood. If their
meaning is not grasped, what is very appropriately said will seem
inappropriate. Such is the way books are ruined and lost."
3. Jn. 11:16.
4. In no. 2.
5. Ps. 112:1.
6. In no. 1.
7. Mt. 19:16-22.
8. In no. 6.
9. Mt. 19:22.
10. Mt. 19:27.
11. Teresa first wrote "as St. Paul says," then added between the
lines "or Christ." Gratian crossed out both and wrote: "St. Luke
says it in chapter 17." See Lk. 17:10.
12. Allusion to Lk. 12:48.
13. This is a vague reference, perhaps to The Way of Perfection,
ch.17, nos. 2, 7.
CHAPTER 2
1. Allusion to the young man in the Gospel. See III, ch. 1, no. 6.
2. In no. 1. See III, ch. 1, no. 5.
3. Allusion to Lk. 22:42.
4. In no. 4. See III, ch. 1, no. 7.
5. Allusion to Ps. 119:137. For a similar use of this text see Life, ch.
19:9. On the following theme about God's different ways with
souls, see Way of Perfection, chs. 16-18, expecially ch. 17, no. 7.
6. In III, ch. 1, nos. 1, 5, 8.
7. Words from the Carmelite Rule {The Rule of St. Albert) and
taken from Is. 30:15.
THE FOURTH DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. Teresa uses the Spanish word contentos (here rendered in
English as consolations) to denote experiences (such as joy,
peace, satisfaction) that are not infused; that is, experiences
perceived as a result of prayer and virtue but similar to those
derived from everyday events. On the other hand, she uses the
Spanish word gustos (here rendered in English as spiritual
delights) to denote infused experiences. Infused, "supernatural,"
or mystical prayer begins in these fourth dwelling places with the
488
St. Teresa of Avila
prayer of infused recollection (ch. 3) and quiet, or spiritual
delight (ch. 2). Actually Teresa presents the fourth dwelling
places as a stage of transition in which the natural and the super-
natural (or the acquired and the infused) are intermingled.
2. In her Life. She is alluding to the many chapters there that deal
with mystical experiences. See chs. 14-32 and 37-40. When
Teresa wrote the Life she had not yet come to the stage she
describes in the seventh dwelling places. What she explains in
her Life under the symbol of the fourth water corresponds to the
sixth dwelling places. As a result, she points out that she has a
better understanding of some matters concerning the spiritual
life than she did in that book. See I, ch. 2, no. 7; IV, ch. 2, no. 5.
3. Allusion to Mt. 20:13. The absolute divine freedom in the grant-
ing or denying of mystical favors is frequently insisted upon in
Teresa's writings. In this work see IV, ch. 2, no. 9; V, ch. 1, no.
12; VI, ch. 4, no. 12; ch. 7, no. 9; ch. 8, no. 5.
4. In III, ch. 2, no. 10.
5. Allusion to Jn. 15:5.
6. Ps. 119:32.
7. In no. 4.
8. In Life, ch. 12; Way of Perfection, chs. 16-20.
9. One of Teresa's cherished maxims. See the Foundations, ch. 5,
no. 2.
10. We do not know who the learned man was. Some suggest that it
may have been St. John of the Cross who was Teresa's director
and confessor from 1572-1575. But Teresa's ignorance of the dif-
ference between the imagination (pensamiento, or mind, as she
often refers to it) and the intellect was not total ignorance. See
Life, ch. 17, no. 5.
11. For many years this wandering of the mind deeply troubled the
Saint. See Life, ch. 17, no. 7; Way of Perfection, ch. 31, no. 8.
In this work she has come to a definite doctrinal position on the
matter. The instability and rebellion of the imagination is a con-
sequence of the disorder produced in us through original sin. See
no. 11 of this chapter.
12. In the prologue, no. 1.
13. Sg. 8:1.
14. In II, no. 9.
15. See VII, ch. 2, no. 11.
CHAPTER 2
1. In ch. 1, nos. 4-6.
Notes-The Interior Castle: IV
489
2. See ch. 1, no. 5.
3. See Life, chs. 14-15.
4. In III, ch. 2, nos. 9-10; IV, ch. 1, nos. 4-6.
5. In ch. 1, nos. 5, 6, 10.
6. In ch. 1, no. 4.
7. Ps. 119:32. See ch. 1, no. 5.
8. In VII, ch. 1, nos. 3, 7, 10; ch. 2, nos. 3, 9.
9. In no. 4.
10. In ch. 1, no. 1, she says fourteen years. She finished the first
redaction of her Life in 1562 and is writing these pages in the lat-
ter part of 1577.
11. In no. 5.
CHAPTER 3
1. She spoke of the prayer of recollection in various places: Life,
chs. 14-15; Way of Perfection, chs. 28-29; Spiritual Testimonies,
59, no. 3. But Teresa is not consistent in her terminology.
Sometimes she speaks of a recollection that is not infused (in the
Way of Perfection)', at other times of a recollection that is in-
fused: in the Life, using the term indiscriminately with "quiet"
to designate the first degree of infused prayer, and in the
Spiritual Testimonies to designate the first faint experience of
mystical prayer that prepares the way for the prayer of quiet. See
no. 8 of this chapter.
2. She is alluding to works such as Osuna's Third Spiritual
Alphabet, IX, ch. 7; and Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion, III,
ch. 41. See Life, ch. 12, nos. 1, 4, 5, 7; ch. 22, nos. 13, 18.
3. In I, ch. 2, nos. 4, 12, 15.
4. In Confessions, X, ch. 27; or in the pseudo- Augustine's Solilo-
quies, ch. 31. See Life, ch. 40, no. 6; Way of Perfection, ch. 28,
no. 2.
5. In Osuna's Third Spiritual Alphabet, VI, ch. 4.
6. See Laredo's Ascent of Mount Sion, III, ch. 27.
7 . Treatise on Prayer and Meditation by Granada and at that time
attributed to St. Peter of Alcantara.
8. In nos. 4-6; see ch. 2, no. 9.
9. Perhaps she is referring to a parallel passage in the Way of
Perfection ch. 31, nos. 3, 7.
10. Allusion to Ph. 4:13.
11. In the book of Foundations , ch. 6. She will insist on this again in
VI, ch. 7, no. 13.
12. See Life, chs. 16-17, where Teresa dwells at greater length on
490
St. Teresa of A vila
this sleep of the faculties as though dealing with a special stage in
the degrees of mystical prayer.
13. Teresa makes a pun here with the Spanish words arrobamiento
(rapture) and abobamiento (foolishness).
14. In nos. 11-12.
THE FIFTH DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. Allusion to 2 Co. 11:14.
2. Allusion to Mt. 22:14.
3. Allusion to Mt. 13:44.
4. In IV, ch. 3, no. 11.
5. In no. 3.
6. Another allusion to 2 Co. 11:14.
7. In IV, ch. 3, nos. 11-14.
8. In IV, ch. 1, nos. 8-12.
9. She made a similar observation in the Way of Perfection, ch. 31,
no. 10.
10. See Life, ch. 5, no. 3; ch. 13, no. 19; ch. 25, no. 22.
11. In IV, ch. 1, no. 2; ch. 2, no. 9.
12. See no. 7.
13. She speaks of them in the next chapter, nos. 7-14.
14. In no. 8.
15. See Life, ch. 18, no. 15; Spir. Test., 49.
16. Sg. 2:4.
17. Sg. 3:2.
18. Jn. 20:19.
19. See VII, ch. 2, no. 3.
CHAPTER 2
1. In ch. 1, no. 2.
2. In the Dwelling Places I-IV.
3. See Col. 3:3-4.
4. In ch. 1, nos. 10-11.
5. In VI, ch. 6, no. 1; ch. 11 passim.
6. In ch. 1, nos. 2, 3, 13.
7. In ch. 1, no. 12; IV, ch. 2, no. 9.
8. In VI, ch. 10, no. 8; VII, ch. 3, no. 4.
9. In ch. 1, no. 12.
10. Allusion to Sg. 2:4.
Notes-The Interior Castle: VI
491
11. Lk. 22:15.
12. She is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 38, no. 18.
CHAPTER 3
1 . For Teresa the little dove is equivalent to the little butterfly; she
uses these images interchangeably. See ch. 4, no. 1; VI, ch. 2,
no. 1; ch. 4, no. 1; ch. 6, no. 1; ch. 11, no. 1; VII, ch. 3, no. 1.
2. She is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 7, no. 10.
3. In ch. 2, nos. 6-7.
4. Seejn. 11:33-36.
5. In ch. 1, no. 6; IV, ch. 1, nos. 4-5; ch. 2, nos. 3-5.
6. In ch. 1, nos. 3-4.
7. The delightful union is the infused prayer of union.
8. The union that arises from conformity of wills.
9. Jon. 4:6-7.
10. Jn. 17:22.
11. Allusion to 1 Jn. 4:20.
12. In the Way of Perfection, ch. 7; Foundations, ch. 5.
CHAPTER 4
1. The prayer of union.
2. Having begun this work in Toledo, June 2, 1577, Teresa in less
than a month and a half had got as far as chapter three of the
fifth dwelling place. About the middle of July she moved to Avila
where she probably wrote chapter three. She then abandoned all
work on her book until the beginning of November. And by
November 29, 1577, her task was completed.
3. In her comparison, Teresa makes use of the stages that were
followed in her day for the arrangement of a marriage: 1)
meetings between the young man and woman; 2) exchanging of
gifts; 3) falling in love; 4) the joining of hands; 5) betrothal; 6)
marriage.
4. See, e.g., IV, ch. 3, nos. 9-10.
5. In no. 4.
6. In ch. 3, no. 2.
THE SIXTH DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. Allusion to the meeting referred to in V, ch. 4, no. 4.
2. See V, ch. 1, nos. 9-11; V, ch. 4, nos. 3-4.
492
St. Teresa of A vila
3. See VII, ch. 3, nos. 4-5.
4. She is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 28, no. 14.
5. The "favor that was mentioned" is the prayer of union or the
"meetings" between the two who will be betrothed, the prayer
characteristic of the fifth dwelling place. The person Teresa
refers to is herself. "Forty years ago" would have been 1537. For
an account of these sufferings and trials see Life, chs. 4-6; for her
first experiences of union, see Life, ch. 4, no. 7.
6. The person here is Teresa, and the confessor is Father Baltasar
Alvarez, S.J. See Life, ch. 30, no. 13.
7. See Life, ch. 30, no. 12.
8. In nos. 9-10.
9. She does so in VI, ch. 11.
CHAPTER 2
1. In the fourth dwelling places.
2. See IV, ch. 3, nos. 11-14.
3 . For a parallel passage from her personal experience see her Life,
ch. 29, no. 10; in no. 13 of that same chapter she describes her
experience of the transverberation.
4. She is alluding to herself. See Spir. Test., 59, no. 13.
5. In Spir. Test., 59, no. 15 she speaks of how even the learned men
she consulted were free of fears about this prayer. St. John of
Avila wrote to her assuring her that the prayer was good. For a
description of her personal experience of this grace see also her
Life, chs. 29 and 30.
6. See nos. 1, 3, and 5. These favors proceed "from very deep
within the interior part of the soul," from "the Spouse, who is in
the seventh dwelling place," there, "where the Lord who is un-
changing dwells."
7. In no. 6.
CHAPTER 3
1 . This chapter restates what was said in ch. 25 of the Life. In both
places the prevailing effort is to distinguish between genuine
locutions (coming from God or His saints) and false ones (from
the imagination or the devil). In this chapter Teresa deals first
with locutions in general (nos. 1-11); then she goes on to treat of
a more subtle kind of mystical locution accompanied by "a cer-
tain intellectual vision" (nos. 12-18).
2. In ch. 2, nos. 1-4, 8.
3. In no. 1.
Notes-The Interior Castle: VI
493
4. In ch. 1, nos. 7-15.
5. In a veiled way she is alluding to her own experience described in
her Life, ch. 25, nos. 14-19.
6. In no. 7.
7. See Jon. chs. 1 and 4. Though Teresa refers to Jonah about six
times in her writings and could be referring to herself, she might,
on the other hand, be thinking of Teresa Layz the benefactress
of Alba about whom she speaks in the Foundations , ch. 20, and
especially in no. 12.
8. In nos. 5-7.
9. Allusion to Lk. 10:16.
10. She speaks of intellectual visions in chs. 8 and 10; see also ch. 5,
nos. 8-9.
11. In ch. 10; also in ch. 4.
12. A reference to herself. See Life, ch. 25, nos. 14-19.
13. In nos. 12-16.
14. In no. 11.
15. Allusion to 1 Co. 10:13.
16. Jos. 10:12-13. See Life, ch. 25, no. 1.
CHAPTER 4
1. In regard to this terminology see Life, ch. 20, no. 1; Spir. Test.,
59, no. 9.
2. The need for great courage in order to receive these mystical
graces is often stated by Teresa. See Life, ch. 13, no. 2; ch. 20,
no. 4; ch. 39, no. 21; Spir. Test., 59, no. 9; Way of Perfection,
ch. 18; and in these sixth dwelling places, ch. 5, nos. 1, 5, 12; ch.
11, no. 11.
3. In IV, ch. 3, nos. 11-12; VI, ch. 3, no. 10.
4. In Life, ch. 20, Spir. Test., 59, no. 9.
5. In ch. 2, no. 4.
6. In ch. 8 she will deal with intellectual visions and in ch. 9, with
imaginative ones.
7. Fr. Gratian; see Introduction.
8. See Gn. 28:12.
9. See Ex. 3:1-16.
10. This happened sometime during the first months of 1574. See
Foundations, ch. 21, nos. 1-2.
11. In IV, ch. 3, nos. 11-13.
12. Allusion to Sg. 3:2.
13. Allusion to Jn. 9:6-7.
14. In no. 9.
494
St. Teresa of Avila
15. See Life, ch. 20, no. 5.
16. She is alluding to herself. See Life, ch. 31, no. 13.
17. In nos. 4-5.
CHAPTER 5
1. On the difference between rapture and flight of the spirit see
Life, ch. 18, no. 7; ch. 20, no. 1; Spir. Test., 59, nos. 9-10.
2. In ch. 4, no. 1.
3. See the account of her personal experience in Life, ch. 20,
nos. 3-7.
4. She is speaking of herself; see Life, ch. 20, nos. 5-6.
5. For parallel passages see Life, ch. 22, no. 13; ch. 20, no. 4.
6. In IV, ch. 2, nos. 2-5.
7. Allusion to Pr. 8:29.
8. Allusion to Lk. 12:48.
9. She is speaking of herself. See Spir. Test., 46.
10. She returns to the theme taken up in no. 1.
11. Allusion to 2 Co. 12:2-4.
12. Concerning the distinction between the soul and the spirit, see
VII, ch. 1, no. 11; Spir. Test., 59, no. 11; 25, no. 1; Life, ch. 20,
no. 14.
13. Nb. 13:18-27.
14. She continues to use the symbolic language (jewels and meetings)
introduced in V, ch. 4, no. 3.
15. See nos. 1-5; ch. 4, nos. 1-2.
CHAPTER 6
1. Ex. 14:21-22; Jos. 3:13-17.
2. Allusion to Gn. 8:8-9, used again in VII, ch. 3, no. 13.
3. In ch. 11.
4. "Lord, if I am still necessary to your people I don't refuse to live;
may Your will be done." See the liturgical office for St. Martin in
the Roman Breviary.
5. Lk. 15:22-32.
6. She tells about St. Peter of Alcantara's manner of life in Life, ch.
27, nos. 16-20; ch. 30, nos. 2-7.
CHAPTER 7
1. She is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 26, no. 2; ch. 34, no. 10;
Spir. Test., 1, no. 26; 48, no. 1; 59, no. 12.
2. In Life, ch. 22.
3. In Life, ch. 22, nos. 2-3.
Notes-The Interior Castle: VI
495
4. The person to whom Teresa refers is unknown. The passage is in-
tentionally somewhat enigmatic.
5. See Jn. 8:12; 14:6, 9.
6. 1 K. 18:30-39.
7. In VI, ch. 11, no. 8.
8. In VII, ch. 2, nos. 3, 9, 10; ch. 3, nos. 8, 10, 11; ch. 4, nos. 1-2.
9. At the end of no. 7.
10. Sg. 3:1-3.
11. See The Confessions of St. Augustine, X, ch. 6, nos. 9-10.
12. In no. 7.
13. In nos. 9-10.
14. In ch. 4, nos. 2, 9; Life, ch. 22, no. 10.
15. Jn. 16:7.
CHAPTER 8
1. This person is Teresa herself. See Life, ch. 27, nos. 2-5.
2. In ch. 3.
3. See Life, ch. 27, no. 3.
4. See Life, ch. 25, no. 18; Spir. Test., 22, no. 1; 31; 48; 58, no. 16;
Int. Castle. VI, ch. 3, no. 5.
5. In ch. 6, nos. 1-6.
6. The series of favors mentioned in the preceding chapters.
7. In nos. 3-5.
8. In no. 3.
9. Allusion to 1 Co. 10:13. See ch. 3, no. 17. She also refers to this
statement of St. Paul in her Life, ch. 23, no. 15.
10. In no. 1.
11. She is alluding probably to interventions of the Spanish Inquisi-
tion.
CHAPTER 9
1. In ch. 8; the intellectual visions.
2. In nos. 2-3.
3. A popular belief in Teresas time was that certain stones had
curative powers; for example, the bezoar.
4. Teresa is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 28, especially no. 4;
Spir. Test., 58, no. 15, in which she states that "she never saw
anything with her bodily eyes."
5. Mt. 25:41.
6. Ac. 9:3-4.
7. In ch. 8, no. 3.
8. In ch. 8, nos. 4, 8.
496
St. Teresa of A Vila
9. She is referring to Fr. Domingo Banez, O.P. See her Book of
Foundations, ch. 8, no. 3.
10. See Life, ch. 25, nos. 5-6.
11. In Foundations, ch. 8, no. 3.
12. This person is herself. See Life, ch. 29, nos. 5-6.
13. See 1 S. 15:10-11.
14. She is speaking of herself. The man could have been St. John of
the Cross who was confessor at the monastery of the Incarnation
in Avila when St. Teresa was prioress there from 1571-1574.
15. In no. 16; IV, ch. 2, no. 9.
CHAPTER 10
1. See Life, ch. 40, no. 9.
2. For the origin of this comparison see Life, ch. 40, no. 10.
3. Allusion to Mt. 6:12, 15; Lk. 6:37.
4. Teresa gives a personal account of this experience in Life, ch.
40, nos. 1-4.
5. Ps. 116:11.
6. Jn. 18:36-38.
7. In nos. 2 and 5.
CHAPTER 11
1. The person is herself. See ch. 10, nos. 2-5.
2. In ch. 2, no. 1; ch. 6, no. 6; ch. 8, no. 4.
3. Teresa describes an equivalent experience of hers that took place
at Salamanca in 1571. See Spir. Test., 12, nos. 1-5.
4. In no. 2.
5. She is speaking of herself . See Spir. Test., 59, no. 14; Life, ch.
20, nos. 12-13.
6. Jn. 4:7-14.
7. In nos. 2 and 4.
8. See ch. 4.
9. Mt. 20:22.
10. Lk. 7:40-48.
THE SEVENTH DWELLING PLACES
CHAPTER 1
1. In I, ch. 2, nos. 1-3.
2. In no. 3.
3. In the fifth dwelling place.
Notes-The Interior Castle: VII
497
4. Ac. 9:8.
5. Jn. 14:23. For another description of this grace see Spir. Test.,
13.
6. Through an intellectual vision; see no. 6.
7. In VI, ch. 3, nos. 3 and 17; ch. 6, no. 6; ch. 7, no. 3; ch. 8, nos.
3-4.
8. Teresa is referring to herself.
9. Lk. 10:40.
10. In VI, ch. 5, nos. 1 and 9.
CHAPTER 2
1. See her corresponding account in Spir. Test., 31.
2. The one referred to in ch. 1, nos. 6-7.
3. Teresa first wrote: "between two who have consummated mar-
riage." She then changed it to the present reading.
4. In V, ch. 4, no. 3.
5. See no. 1; Spir. Test., 31.
6. See VI, ch. 8.
7. Jn. 20:19-21. See V, ch. 1, no. 12.
8. Again she changed what she had previously written, "those who
have consummated marriage," to the present reading.
9. 1 Co. 6:17. This text from St. Paul and the application were
written between the lines. Teresa first wrote and then crossed
out: ". . .we are made one spirit with God if we love Him; he
doesn't say that we are joined with Him . . . but are made one
spirit with Him."
10. Ph. 1:21. Teresa cited the passage in her own form of Latin: Mi
bivere Cristus es mori lucrum.
11. See V, ch. 3, note 1.
12. In no. 4.
13. Jn. 20:19-21.
14. Lk. 7:50.
15. Jn. 17:21.
16. Jn. 17:20, 23.
17. Allusion to Lk. 21:33.
18. In no. 3.
19. In ch. 3, nos. 3 and 6; ch. 4, no. 2.
20. Probably in V, ch. 2, nos. 7-11.
21. In no. 4; see also IV, ch. 2.
22. In no. 9.
498
St. Teresa of Avila
CHAPTER 3
1. Teresa numbers only the first two effects; the others are present
in the midst of a series of digressions and commentary. Here is a
list of these effects: 1) forgetfulness of self (in no. 2); 2) desire to
suffer (no. 4); 3) deep interior joy in persecution (no. 5); 4) desire
to serve (no. 6); 5) great detachment (no. 8); 6) no fear of the
devil's deceits (no. 10); and finally a recapitulation in no. 13.
2. In ch. 2, nos. 4-5.
3. An allusion to the grace of spiritual marriage. See ch. 2, no. 1;
Spir. Test., 31.
4. She is referring to the experiences spoken of in the sixth dwelling
place; see particularly ch. 11.
5. In VI, ch. 2.
6. In VI. ch. 2, no. 1; ch. 11, no. 2.
7. Ac. 9:6.
8. In no. 8.
9. In ch. 2, nos. 3 and 10.
10. In ch. 2, nos. 5-6 and 9.
11. 1 K. 6:7.
12. In Teresa's terminology "not lost" is the equivalent of not being
enraptured. In this dwelling place the faculties remain in amaze-
ment but not ecstatically suspended.
13. Allusion to Sg. 1:2; there follows a series of biblical allusions to:
Ps. 42:2; Rv. 21:3; Gn. 8:8-12.
14. Allusion to Lk. 18:13.
15. In no. 6.
CHAPTER 4
1. In ch. 3, nos. 2-10.
2. 1 K. 11. See III, ch. 1, nos. 1-4.
3. Ps. 112:1.
4. In VI, ch. 9, nos. 16-17; see also ch. 1, no. 7.
5. Allusion to 1 Th. 2:9.
6. This quo vadis legend appeared in the Carmelite breviary, used
in the time of St. Teresa, on the feast of St. Peter (June 29).
7. In V, ch. 3, nos. 11.
8. There is a Teresian proverb that reads in Spanish: La virtud se
ha de ver no en los rincones sino en medio de las ocasiones. It
might go like this in English: "Look for virtue not in corners
away from the din but right amidst the occasions of sin." See
Foundations, ch. 5, no. 15.
9. In I, ch. 2, nos. 8-9, 11 and 13.
Notes-The Interior Castle: VII
499
10. In ch. 3, nos. 3, 5-8.
11. Ps. 18:26.
12. Allusion to Sg. 2:4.
13. Allusion to 1 K. 19:10. The shield of the Carmelite order takes as
its motto the prophet Elijah's words: Zelo zelatus sum pro
Domino Deo exercituum.
14. Lk. 10:38-42.
15. Allusion to Lk. 7:37-38.
16. See Way of Perfection, chs. 1-3; Meditations, ch. 7.
17. In III, ch. 2, no. 13.
EPILOGUE
1. This epilogue was sent in the form of a letter along with the
original manuscript to the Discalced Carmelite nuns in Seville.
2. In Prologue, no. 1.
3. Allusion to Gn. 1:26. See I, ch. 1, no. 1.
4. That is, Nov. 29, 1577, close to six months after she had begun
writing on June 2nd of that same year. See Prologue, no. 3.
Index
INDEX
Abandoned (forsaken) 189, 365:
not -by God, 133
Abandonment 36, 81, 150, 161, 187
218, 313, 386, 392
Absorption 154, 184, 243, 244, 253,
325, 329, 330, 331, 333, 334, 367,
368, 374, 380, 382, 384, 403, 404,
430: duration of, 384; which ex-
cludes humanity of Christ, 276
Academic: question, 268; rank, 179;
titles, 458
Accusations, false 464
Achieve see Acquire
Acquire (attain) 147, 148, 149, 155,
165, 173, 186, 198, 227, 267, 273,
317, 325, 328, 330, 367, 396, 408,
488
Active life 100, 102, 103, 105, 155,
214, 224, 257, 334
Adam 23, 51, 321, 467
Adoration see PRAYER, Forms of
Advance 200, 223, 309, 351, 357,
393, 431
Advertence see Sin
Advice: on a matter of life and
death, 166; to non-contempla-
tives, 106; to nuns of her order,
28, 38, 42, 43, 44, 55, 69, 84, 114,
119, 128, 132, 155, 156, 159, 162,
165, 235, 240, 305, 309, 334, 372,
415, 460; to youngest in com-
munity, 44
Affability 199, 200
Affection 63, 64, 375: dominates,
55; earthly, 66, 196; evil, 66; for
confessor, 460; for -God, 159;
other than for God, 355; showing,
68; affectionate words are to be
kept for God, 70
Affliction of soul 58, 64, 112, 129,
136, 146, 175, 189, 218, 227, 309,
313, 319, 320, 322, 349, 364, 365,
372, 373, 378, 385, 388, 392, 393,
397, 418, 424, 439, 460
Age: more or less an obstacle, 322;
see also Nuns, elderly
Agitation 31,189, 477
Agreeable 199; see also Affability;
Holiness
Alba de Tormes 212: autograph of
Meditations, 213; monastery of
nuns, 493
Alba, Duchess of 212, 381
Albert, St. 487
Allegory 485; see Figures of speech
Alms: giving, 44, 47, 74, 225; living
from, 43; to pray is to give, 429
Alone with God 174
Alumbrados 24, 486
Alvarez, Baltasar, S.J. 492
Amazement 430, 442, 498
Ambition 70
Amendment 225,232,463
Ana de San Juan (Davila) 457
Analogy 273, 274; see also Castle
imagery; Figures of speech
Anathemas see TERESA, her nuns
Andalusia 265, 485
Andrew, St. 452
Angels 19, 49, 86, 98, 123, 124, 135,
151, 210, 223, 248, 253, 295, 356,
503
504
Index
363, 373, 381, 389, 465, 474, 475:
of light, 335, 337; traits of, 399
Anger 91: of the Lord, 413
Annihilation of the soul 393, 418,
443
Annoyance: easily borne by love, 54
Ant 323: courage to kill an, 187
Anti feminism 23; see also
Feminine; Woman
Antonio de San Joaquin 481
Anxiety 254, 274, 373, 422: and
tears, 318
Apathy 22
Aposentos 484
Apostles 56, 92, 139, 200, 241, 275,
285, 302, 356, 402, 403, 404, 433,
435, 436, 445, 449, 458: Christ's
appearance to, 433
Apostolate 348, 470
Apostolic element of Teresa's
charism 459
Apparitions see Visions
Appetites 82
Arabic 116
Arevalo 269
Argel 239
Argue 220, 468
Aristotle 23
Arms see Ecclesiastical; Secular
Asceticism 22, 271, 484
Ask (beseech) 127, 160, 185, 240,
244, 250, 256, 310, 315, 319, 326,
330, 336, 357, 368, 391, 476, 478
Aspirations 435
Assurance regarding favors see
Certitude
Attachment 55, 64, 73, 76, 89, 96,
109, 187, 234, 271, 273, 343, 344,
384, 408, 460, 464
ATTENTION:
to God, in prayer, 124, 130, 469;
to God's ways; 250
to self, habitual faults, 225;
honor, 89; interior matters,
329; lack of humility, 377; dif-
ferences in locutions, 376; love,
351; painful praise, 361; prog-
ress in virtue, 357; speech, 378;
tears, 395
Augustine, St. 67, 140, 246, 328,
401, 495: confessions of, 401;
pseudo- Augustine, 471, 489
Austerity 41, 89, 113
Authors 118
Autographs 18, 211, 278, 279, 459,
483, 486: variations in, 35; see also
Redactions
Avila 15, 213, 266, 279, 459, 481,
483, 491; see also Monastery of
Incarnation; Monastery of St.
Joseph
Awakening 230, 274, 285, 329, 367,
370, 384, 396, 440: one's compan-
ions, 450; awakened soul, 407; to
things of God, 380; the will, 319
Awareness 131, 287, 329, 331, 377,
424, 434
Ayala, Dona Constancia de 279
Backbiter 165
Baeza 212
Banez, Domingo, O.P. 15, 16, 17,
21, 23, 39, 204, 212, 213, 458, 496
Bargaining in prayer 163
Bartholomew, St. 139, 470
Beauty: of the soul, 270, 283, 284,
287, 294; of Teresa's counte-
nance, 267; see also CHRIST;
Grandeurs of God
Beginners 104, 114, 250, 260, 447
Beginning 64, 115, 118, 126, 127,
130, 142, 143, 144, 151, 153, 175,
182, 183, 190, 196, 203, 240, 243,
253, 259, 273, 295, 300, 301, 331,
357, 361, 371, 386, 399, 401, 409:
wrong, 179
Beholding God present 430
Belief (believing) 62, 129, 140, 203,
372, 373, 381, 430; believe, 339;
in the center of the soul, 437; only
those who conform, 121; do not
believe, 399; one who does
not— experiences no favors, 285
Benefactors 47, 225, 493
Benefit: others, 63, 65, 66, 115,
Index
505
116, 117, 200, 218, 220, 257, 260,
275, 285, 307, 345, 359, 369, 372,
389, 390, 415, 416, 425, 439; to
whole world, 449; to self, 63, 81,
131, 149, 158, 165, 182, 200, 232,
237, 246, 310, 323, 446;
disinterest about — to self, 330; to
companions, 449, 450; from, obe-
dience, 314, persecution, 362,
thinking of creation, 342
Beseech see Ask
Bethlehem, stable of 46
Betrothal: civil— in Teresa's time
355; see also Spiritual, betrothal
Bezoar 495
Bible 208, 209; see also Gospel;
Scripture
Biblical terms 484; see also list-
ings of persons and scenes
Biblioteca Nacional de Madrid 212
Bishop 61, 89, 145, 146: authority
of, 59, 60, 461, 462; responsibility
of, 238; pray for, 52, 53
Blame 92, 93, 97, 178, 362, 464
Blessed Virgin: Office of, 209, 253;
For B.V.M. see also Mary
Blessing 63, 302, 360, 361, 383, 390,
407: to recognize evil of sin is a, 290
Blindness of soul 63; see also Eyes;
Soul
Body (constitution, flesh) 63, 64,
73, 77, 80, 81, 82, 87, 91, 110,
113, 135, 142, 143, 153, 170, 171,
201, 214, 228, 229, 240, 269, 284,
309, 312, 319, 323, 325, 337, 363,
366, 374, 379, 382, 385, 386, 388,
389, 390, 394, 399, 425, 433, 439,
448, 460, 475: disjointed, 423;
natural graces of — not enough, 55;
natural heat of, 423; needs of, 43,
169; participates in favors, 324; as
prison, 164; rough outer—, 338;
strength of— not needed, 336;
stuper of, 333; wants no activity,
154; see also Bones; Brain; Ears;
Eyes; Head; Heart; Languishing
Bonaventure, St. 458
Bones, marrow of 338
Book(s) 24, 25, 31, 32, 94, 106, 118,
136, 147, 183, 191, 204, 208, 209,
216, 225, 228, 271, 286, 314, 329,
339, 342, 364, 467, 468, 470, 474,
476, 484: of Hours in Spanish,
209; cannot be understood, 364;
on prayer, 468; publication pro-
hibited, 468; we never tire of, 297;
Teresa's: see abo Foundations;
Interior Castle; Letters; Life;
Meditations on the Song of
Songs; Method for the Visitation
of Monasteries; Spiritual Testi-
monies
Braganza, Don Teotonio de 458
Brain 403
Bread (material) 170, 183
Breath, breathing 330, 337, 384
Breviary 209, 494: Carmelite, 498
Bride(s): of Christ 86, 124, 134, 382,
412; of the Judge, 230; of the
King, 342, 469; from the Song of
Songs, 218, 221, 229, 230, 231,
234, 236, 237, 240, 247, 249, 250,
251, 253, 254, 255, 256, 258, 259,
321, 340, 346, 401, 442 ; looking in
streets and squares, 383
Bridget, St. of Sweden 20
Brief: "Ex Parte Vestra", 462; from
Rome, 279
Brussels 211
Buildings 30, 46, 47
Burdens 28, 81, 226, 234, 310, 313,
439, 446
Business: affairs (matters) 42, 48,
49, 174, 373,375, 431; God is our,
116
Cadiz 480
Call see Vocation
Calm(ness) of soul 31, 151, 189,
22.6, 235, 243, 248, 249, 278, 372,
378, 390, 413, 477: more-of soul
and less exterior calm, 447
Calumnies 264
Cano, Melchior, O.P. 24
Capacity: of individual soul, 270; to
506
Index
understand union, 340; see also
Suffering
Care 125, 330, 357, 431, 460: about
progress, 223; for souls, 315; not
to sin, 224
Carelessness 127, 231, 336, 342.
355, 387, 409, 429, 476
Carmelite Fathers (alias contem-
plative, primitive, O.C.D.) 265
Carmelite nuns see Advice to nuns
of her order; Monasteries; Nuns;
TERESA and her nuns; Vocation
Carmelite shield and motto 499
Carranza, Archbishop, O.P. 24,
25, 208
Cassian 113, 467
Castile 19, 265
Castle Imagery see Appendix to
Index
Casuistry 212
Catherine of Siena, St. 20
Caution 414, 460
Cells of the religious 49; see also
Rooms
Censors of Teresa's books 16, 17, 18
21, 25, 29, 278, 467, 468, 486
Center of the castle 270: see also
Castle Imagery; of the soul, 141,
320, 324, 340, 341, 429, 436, 440,
447, 448; the — is the spirit, 437;
God is always in, 434; the very in-
terior of the, 433
Centering attention of mind 32,
130: on Christ, 33
Cerda, Dona Luisa de la 468
Ceremonies 24, 122
Cerezo Pardo, Don Pedro 279
Certitude (assurance) about favors
218, 273, 339, 340, 363, 373, 374,
375, 376, 377, 381, 386, 406, 408,
409, 410, 414, 432, 435, 441, 478,
486
Chagrin 63
Change(ableness) 127, 201, 230, 232
Chaplain: to be confessor 461
Charity 30, 68, 70, 79, 112, 145,
201, 239, 253, 255, 258, 271, 296,
310: of compassion, 349; cooling
of— is devil's aim, 295; external
works of, 365; indiscreet, 85; lack
of, 350; to neighbor, 306
Chess see Figures of speech
Children of God 138, 139; see also
Figures of speech
Chosen ones 310
CHRIST
Actions of: becomes man, 221;
calls by sign, 367; by a whisper,
367; by whistle, see also Castle
Imagery nos. 31 and 55; cares
for us, 170; gives new com-
mandment, 479; insists upon
love, 27; personally relates with
soul, 270; presence of, 169, 172,
275, 276, 277, 367, 395, 448,
470, in the Eucharist, 340;
purifies us by contact with his
person, 276; reveals Himself as
Lord of heaven and earth, 412;
by a method, 173; readily, 173,
219; serves us, 22, 169; speaks
in visions, 411; teaches us to
pray, see also below Titles:
Teacher; washes feet of
disciples, 479; words of, 137,
138, 438
Aspects of His Life: agony in
garden, 402; kingdom, 86; life,
400; His look, 134; His Passion,
51, 135, 141, 172, 219, 243,
249, 318, 347, 388, 399, 400,
415, 420; His Precious Blood,
249; His Resurrection (Risen
Lord), 19, 33, 134, 172, 411
Attitudes of: desires, 347; feelings,
347; He knows us, 163; His love
for the Father, 347; His love for
us, 51, 166, 347; and degree of,
277; see also Love; He makes no
difference between Himself and
us; we make one, 168; His
mysteries, 33; peace, 211; sor-
row, 347; submission to us, 134;
Index
507
suffering, 92, 134, 343, 347;
trials, 86; His will is one with
the Father's, 166
Attributes of: He is most beautiful
and delightful in visions, 412;
divine, 211, 220, 399; faithful,
436; glorious, 172, 272, 319;
honored, 50, 51, 319, 439;
humble, 138, 166, 168, 221;
powerful, 170, 251; rich, 170
Humanity of: 168, 169, 211, 220,
240, 275, 276, 277, 399, 404,
411, 419, 432; appearance of,
433; countenance of, 416; eyes
of, 413; face of, 147; is all of
our good, 399; is joined to the
divinity (two natures), 220, 275,
401, 404
Relations with us: we can do all
things in, 201; companionship
with Him, 133, 146, 147, 246,
401, 403, 405, 407; in con-
templative presence to Him, 33,
276; His dishonors, share in, 86;
finding Christ, 134; forgetting
Christ bars entry to last two
dwelling places, 276; friends of
and friendship with Christ, 22,
24, 28, 41, 42, 51, 101, 174,
175, 214, 232; gift of Father to
us, 168, 169; hospitality shown
to Christ, 448; He is house
wherein the soul will die, 342;
we look at Him, He looks at us,
134; He shares mutual love with
each individual, 211; His pres-
ence is felt, 405; we provide
food for Him by drawing others
to salvation, 448; Christ receives
less regard than is given to men
who are husbands, 124; He is
rejected by many, 175; Christ
was sold but can never be
bought, 168; set our eyes on
Him, 293; man's treatment of
Him, 43, 167, 227; mocking
Him, 162; union with Him,
211, 277, 278; vision of Him, 408
Titles given to Christ: Lord and
His Majesty are used
throughout; Ambassador, 161;
Beloved, 311, 340, 367; Bride-
groom, see Spouse; Brother,
138, 141, 160, 166, 184, 474:
Comforter, 425; Crucified, 388,
439, 446; Emperor, 387;
Father, 141; Friend, 74, 133;
Giant, 387; God and man, 404;
Guest, 172; Guide, 400; Judge,
230, 410; King, 48, 77, 86, 141,
153, 250, 251, 255, 387; Lamb
of God, 51, 167; Life, 278,
Light, 228, 400; Logos, 278;
Master, 118, 129, 133, 136,
139, 140, 141, 146, 149, 150,
151, 160, 163, 164, 166, 173,
177, 179, 183, 184, 185, 186,
192, 204, 244, 245, 414; Model,
179, 228, 275, 403; Redeemer,
308; Savior, 107; Servant, 308;
Spouse (Bridegroom), 43, 70,
74, 86, 103, 124, 134, 135, 136,
141, 146, 168, 169, 170, 207,
218, 224, 236, 237, 238, 243,
244, 246, 247, 248, 250, 252,
274, 275, 353, 355, 358, 359,
367, 370, 378, 383, 384, 385,
390, 428, 448, 492; Surgeon,
311; Teacher, 26, 32, 33, 34,
35, 62, 77, 118, 129, 130, 133,
137, 141, 169, 173, 184, 200,
204, 237, 242, 244, 245, 331,
350, 441, 472, 473; Truth, 107,
172; Way, 400; Wisdom, 184;
Word Incarnate, 278 See also
GOD, TERESA
Christian(s) 21, 22, 25, 42, 48, 94,
96, 97, 122, 128, 130, 246, 271,
345, 360, 429, 443, 473: Chris-
tianity, 20, 21, 52; faith, 272;
mystery of sin and grace, 270;
prayer, 286
Church 19, 20, 21, 22, 26, 42, 43,
508
Index
50, 51, 52, 121, 151, 174, 176,
211, 219, 231, 319, 333, 342, 349,
402, 452, 455, 458, 459, 461, 471,
473: defenders of the, 22, 42;
good of the, 50
Clare, St. 46, 458
Clarity 393: of words in locutions,
376, 377
Class distinction in monasteries 27;
see also Social Situations
Clerics see Preachers; Priests
Cloister see Enclosure
Clothing 46, 226, 480: of rough or
fine cloth, 476; poverty of, 27; see
also Habit of the Order
Cloud; of Divinity, 249; of magnifi-
cent splendor, 430
College of Christ 464
Column (pillar) of the Agony 134,
141; see also CHRIST: Aspects
Comfort: bodily or material, 30, 41,
53, 63, 73, 78, 80, 86, 112, 165,
214, 228, 231, 233, 234, 239, 241,
245, 248, 271, 313, 473, 476; from
God, 372, 388; from Scripture,
260; interior and exterior, 243; see
also Consolation
Command: from forefathers to us,
89; from soul to God, 164
Commandments of God 49, 54, 296,
326, 348, 392, 401, 430, 441
Commentaries on prayer 118, 498
COMMUNICATION:
Between God and soul 164, 218,
219, 243, 244, 250, 270, 336,
348, 355, 358, 367, 368, 383,
397, 405, 413, 418, 427, 433,
440
Between God and Teresa 20
Of each of the Three Persons of
the Trinity, with a soul, 430
Of person to person, 136, 193; in
the family, 74, 136
Community of religious 26, 28, 54,
89: harm in, 87; number of nuns
in, 46, 72, 458, 462
Companion (company): bad, 196,
198: divine, 430, 447; good, 356;
see also CHRIST, GOD
Comparison in spiritual matters:
helpful, 290; inelegant, 396; not
possible, 335
Compassion 30, 50, 68, 79, 96, 309,
352, 439
Complain 79, 80, 240, 241, 264,
308, 320, 367, 384, 431: about
favors, 417; those condemned
cannot, 168
Compliments 201; see also Praise of
others
Composing words of locution 376
Compunction see Tears
Conceptions of the Love of God 212
Concern for human needs 170, 171
Condemned 168, 363, 473: being
— without fault, 91
Confessors 15, 39, 40, 57, 58, 59, 60,
61, 78, 105, 132, 190, 193, 204,
209, 211, 220, 230, 232, 269, 274,
360, 361, 364, 371, 372, 374, 375,
391, 392, 406, 409, 410, 414, 415,
458, 460, 461, 462, 483, 488, 496:
condemnation by, 363; timorous,
363; too discreet and without ex-
perience, 362
Confidence: in God, 190, 198, 241,
377, 386, 431; of soul, 332; see
also Trust
Conformity: between Sisters, 70; to
God's will, 271, 301, 308, 310,
345, 350, 351, 423, 424; of locu-
tions to Scripture, 372
Confused (confusion) 313, 357,
407, 419
Conquistadors 466
Conscience 46, 54, 57, 58, 59, 121,
152, 159, 173, 222, 231, 232, 304,
415: examination of, 133; purity
of, 407, 410
Consciousness 275, 337
Consent in receiving favors 346
Conservatism in Teresa's time 24
Consolation(s) 60, 63, 73, 83, 96,
Index
509
112, 114, 138, 140, 146, 148, 157,
169, 170, 190, 202, 203, 204, 207,
215, 219, 241, 258, 259, 271, 272,
284, 300, 308, 309, 313, 314, 317,
319, 324, 333, 338, 340, 349, 360,
364, 372, 374, 377, 385, 388, 403,
409, 416, 424, 425, 426, 440, 445,
451, 487: —begin in human soul
and end in God, 318; earthly, 354,
365; false, 186; physical
phenomena related to, 322, 323;
Christ and soul console one
another, 134, 135; see also Con-
ten tos
Constitution see Body
Constitutions 30, 31, 53, 54, 223,
290, 296, 466, 480, 484
Constraint 318: to be avoided, 29,
175, 198, 200; keeps others from
following, 199? see also Restraint
Consuegra 212, 213
Consultation regarding favors 410:
God wants, 375
Contemplation 16, 18, 22, 24, 25,
26, 32, 33, 34, 94, 95, 96, 100,
101, 102, 105, 121, 131, 132, 137,
143, 152, 163, 169, 180, 183, 185,
190, 196, 223, 248, 259, 268, 271,
335, 336, 400, 402, 417, 436, 443,
449, 465, 467, 469, 470, 473, 474:
for carpenters' wives, 24; is a gift,
99; hindrances to, 163; Lord
judges who is to receive, 101; not
necessary to salvation, 99
Contemplative(s) 53, 99, 103, 104,
105, 114, 155, 182, 193, 202, 214,
447: new manner of — life, 28,
257; trials of, 181
Contempt 336, 426: one must en-
dure, 321; for worldly things, 121,
237, 252
Contention 369
Contentment 87, 101, 155, 157,
202, 226, 308
Contentos 272, 487; see also Con-
solation; Gustos
Contradiction 113, 126
Contrition, act of 133
Convents 467; see also Monasteries;
Nuns
Conversation 115: earthly, 369;
favors received during, 425; is no
bar to receiving locutions, 376;
with the confessor, 57, 461; with a
farm worker, 123; with God, 356;
with a prince, 123; with the world,
49; of the sort to be avoided, 116,
198
Conversion of souls 450
Convulsion 380
Copies of Teresa's Meditations 212
Cordobilla, Alonso de, Friar 213,
480
Corporal: form, 340; things, 354,
399, 435; see also Body
Correction of Teresa's writings 278
Council see Trent
Counsel 57, 60, 89: bad, 461; which
we receive, 322; see also Evangel-
ical counsels
Counterfeit see False
Courage 34, 63, 102, 107, 113, 117,
120, 127, 162, 166, 200, 230, 274,
343, 375, 378, 379, 381, 386, 387,
388, 390, 393, 426, 493: enough to
kill an ant, 187; see also For-
titude; Strength
Cowards 103, 393
Creation 71, 323
Creator 62, 64, 71, 157, 163, 220,
249, 270, 283, 284, 308, 380, 390:
difference between — and crea-
ture, 284; union of — with crea-
ture, 164; see also GOD
Creature(s) 62, 87, 163, 194, 285,
328, 344, 380, 392, 397, 401, 405,
420, 426, 427, 428, 434, 435, 443:
attachment to, 384; cannot be a
companion, 423; forgetting, 245;
this castle is a, 284; that are not
prized are not understood, 427
Creed 122
Criterion for judging experience
210
510
Index
Criticism 34, 117, 122, 385, 391,
396, 426, 449
Cross, the 75, 86, 104, 259, 301,
309, 443: carrying one's, 135, 345,
436; Christ on, 93, 96, 162, 241,
353, 450; embracing one's, 234;
loving— makes it easy, 234; pover-
ty on, 46; remembering one's sins
is a heavy, 398; is the brand of
God's slaves, 446
Curative powers 495
Cure of Prince Charles 480
Curiosity 219
Custom(s) 69: bad, 87; becomes a
habit, 461; complaining becomes,
79; of dismissal, 89; gossip
becomes, 296; in prayer, 142; in
the religious life, 72, 87, 463; in
society, 122; see also Etiquette;
Honor; Manners
Danger 25, 61, 83, 84, 86, 100, 104,
105, 110, 119, 120, 184, 189, 190,
192, 194, 198, 200, 232, 235, 238,
256, 260, 285, 289, 296, 297, 298,
333, 334, 346, 349, 356, 358, 364,
370, 371, 375, 377, 391, 394, 403,
404, 416, 418, 423, 425, 426, 460,
474, 475, 478
Daring 98, 208, 211, 215, 221, 247,
459
Daughters of God 140, 141 ; see also
Children of God; Sons of God
David, King 146, 217, 306, 420,
445, 447
Day see Judgment
Death (dying) 19, 82, 87, 111, 202,
257, 273, 299, 349, 365, 379, 384,
388, 391, 393, 398, 421, 423, 426,
439, 440, 443, 445, 448, 461: con-
stantly, 424; danger of dying in
prayer, 276; delay of, 422;
delightful, 337; desire for, 256;
dying from desire to die, 425; fear
of, 81; from love, 256; of the
silkworm, 350; to die for Christ,
78; in Christ, 274
Deception 36, 192, 193, 225, 229,
233, 335, 356, 357, 363, 369, 370,
371, 375, 376, 377, 385, 392, 394,
399, 406, 409, 414, 416, 445, 461,
475: see also False
Decorum 61
Deeds (doing) 53, 92, 104, 163, 164,
230, 235, 236, 240, 241, 245, 247,
252, 254, 257, 273, 308, 313, 317,
325, 329, 330, 332, 343, 344, 351,
352, 358, 373, 374, 375, 383, 388,
415, 418, 420, 426, 435, 438, 440,
446, 449, 450, 460, 472, 474: not
words, 218, 307; -teach, 69; see
also Works
Defence, God will inspire 93
Definitory General 265
Delight 31, 82, 96, 100, 103, 104,
110, 122, 124, 139, 140, 141, 154,
157, 162, 169, 184, 186, 189, 190,
193, 195, 196, 207, 209, 215, 217,
218, 242, 245, 246, 249, 252, 253,
256, 257, 259, 272, 275, 285, 301,
313, 314, 317, 319, 323, 324, 325,
326, 331, 335, 338, 345, 347, 348,
352, 354, 365, 367, 368, 370, 383,
403, 407, 411, 416, 417, 418, 424,
427, 430, 433, 436, 440, 442, 445,
449, 477, 487, 488: begins in God
and nature shares, 272, 318; call-
ed Gustos, 272, 487; differs from
consolation, 318; false, 222; in
loving others, 462; delightful
pain, 369; passive reception of,
272; of world vs that of spirit, 332;
see also Spiritual; Union
Deliverance from deception 36, 201
Delusions 193
Demand from God 104
Derangement 112
Desert 357, 392, 396: fathers of the,
467; envy of- fathers, 392
Desire 36, 39, 41, 42, 50, 52, 65, 82,
96, 111, 112, 113, 118, 119, 120,
126, 129, 131, 134, 143, 146, 147,
154, 157, 158, 159, 160, 164, 173,
174, 175, 178, 180, 181, 183, 185,
188, 192, 195, 201, 202, 221, 235,
Index
511
236, 237, 240, 241, 247, 248, 249,
250, 251, 255, 257, 270, 272, 274,
276, 293, 298, 300, 306, 308, 311,
315, 318, 321, 323, 326, 327, 329,
330, 331, 332, 335, 344, 348, 349,
353, 356, 357, 359, 366, 368, 370,
374, 377, 378, 379, 384, 392, 393,
395, 401, 402, 406, 407, 416, 420,
423, 428, 436, 439, 444, 447, 448,
498: authentic, 393; feigned, 393;
growing for years, 421; impedes
serving, 449; less— to act, 329; to
live, 440; never — favors, 416;
supernatural, 417
Detachment 27, 28, 30 31, 35, 36,
49, 54, 71, 72, 73, 74, 76, 83, 87,
88, 93, 94, 100, 101, 163, 187,
202, 308, 327, 426, 436, 439, 440,
464, 498
Determination 34, 41, 75, 78, 81,
82, 88, 97, 102, 105, 114, 115,
117, 125, 126, 127, 137, 144, 145,
163, 164, 197, 198, 202, 235, 236,
238, 239, 241, 246, 247, 251, 271,
272, 297, 300, 301, 308, 319, 344,
352, 355, 359, 360, 369, 386, 392,
417, 421, 444, 447: of the im-
agination, 352; of the will, 352
Devil (demon, Satan) 18, 39, 40,
42, 54, 57, 58, 59, 60, 68, 71, 77,
78, 80, 84, 85, 86, 87, 95, 99, 100,
105, 111, 113, 119, 120, 136, 138,
175, 177, 179, 182, 185, 186, 187,
188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 195,
200, 214, 223, 225, 227, 228, 233,
235, 239, 288, 289, 292, 293, 296,
298, 299, 300, 302, 308, 315, 317,
320, 321, 322, 333, 334, 335, 337,
338, 345, 355, 356, 357, 360, 363,
364, 365, 366, 368, 369, 371, 372,
373, 375, 376, 377, 390, 393, 394,
399, 404, 406, 407, 408, 409, 410,
414, 415, 418, 421, 441, 449, 460,
463, 465, 474, 475, 477, 498: aim
of, 295; cannot join pain to
delight, 369; deception of, 445;
favors from, 194; is friend of sin-
ners, 222; legions, 293; pain from
— never peaceful, 369; powers are
all on outside, 369; snares of, 197;
is traitor and coward, 127; tricks
of 395, 416; vision from, 408;
weapons of, 40; wiles of, 293, 351
Devotion 46, 105, 118, 165, 172,
175, 232, 243, 251, 307, 319, 352,
353, 368, 378, 404, 442, 446, 473:
books of, 215; devotional image,
413
Diego of Alcala, St., Friar 236, 480
Difference between spirit and soul
432
Difficulties in the spiritual life
164
Dignity 230, 284; see also Persons
Digression 29, 47, 61, 98, 383,
498
Diligence 357, 470
Director see Master (spiritual)
Disapproval 361
Disbelief: a bar to favors, 339
Discernment 157, 275, 318, 372, 414
Disciple 1 18, 129, 341 , 404
Discipline: instrument of pen-
ance, 52, 53, 229, 480
Discord 120, 462
Discouragement 136, 229, 241
Discretion 69, 78, 91, 113, 229, 234,
237, 239, 257, 296, 312, 351, 397,
410, 460
Discursive: meditation 31, 329;
reflection, 133, 401; thought, 276,
400; see also Meditation; Prayer;
Reflection; Thought
Dishonor 180, 361; see also
CHRIST
Disposition of soul 341
Disputes 139
Disquiet 31, 189, 308, 311, 321,
418, 477
Dissipation 199, 339
Distaste, inner 313
Distraction 120, 129, 133, 142, 156,
159, 271, 273, 313, 319, 320, 334,
440, 471: necessary, 393
512
Index
Distress at having plenty 44
Distrust see GOD; Self; Trust
Disturbances 31, 58, 59, 66, 71, 73,
116, 119, 120, 122, 146, 154, 156,
189, 193, 223, 309, 310, 311, 320,
321, 322, 338, 349, 363, 366, 369,
371, 372, 377, 386, 394, 415, 418,
437, 439, 441, 444, 460, 475, 476
Diversion 65
Diversity: in contemplative com-
munities, 35; of ways in spiritual
life, 270
Division in the soul 431
Doctors: of the Church, 219; of
medicine, 79
Doctrine 60, 63, 203, 204, 228, 267
Dominic, St. 356, 448
Dominican Fathers 15, 16, 18, 24,
31, 39, 204, 278; of College of St.
Thomas, Avila, 15
Dominion: over elements, 108, 109;
over faculties, 143; see also Power
Dormitories 27; see also Rooms
Doubt 99, 172, 189, 194, 247, 253,
285, 337, 350, 356, 357, 368, 369,
373, 376, 377, 405, 406, 414: in-
ability to - is a sign, 339
Dove: sent from the ark, 443; see
also Figures of speech
Dowry 71, 90
Dream 375, 376, 413, 416: dreamy
state of soul, 336, 337
Dress 271, 306; see also Clothing;
Habit of Order
Dryness 126, 173, 271, 301, 307,
308, 309, 329, 363, 395, 400, 425,
440, 441
Duty of religious to pray 119, 430,
459; see also Obligation
Dwelling places 154, 156, 263, 267,
269, 400, 484, 490: the most-
entered, 335; see also Castle
Imagery
Dying from love of God 221; see
also Death
Earning one's livelihood 170; see
also St. Paul
Ears (hearing) 328, 371, 374, 376,
377, 378, 379, 392, 406, 416, 425,
430: of the soul, 375; make self
deaf to inspiration, 159; words
of Scripture, 221; see also Castle
Imagery nos. 29, 30, 55
Earth 19, 131, 137, 138, 142, 160,
161, 166, 169, 336, 358, 380, 383,
389: conversations of, 369; things
of, 275, 365; see also World
Ease 180; see also Rest
Easter grace see TERESA
Eating 321, 333, 334, 438; see also
Food; Sacrament
Ecclesiastical arm 22, 48; see also
Church; Secular arm
Ecstasy 275, 276, 379, 382, 393, 498:
extreme, 384
Edification 90
Editing of Teresa's writing 34
Effects of favors 182, 183, 184, 214,
237, 240, 244, 252, 257, 273, 319,
323, 325, 327, 331, 332, 333, 339,
344, 348, 357, 368, 372, 373, 375,
376, 377, 384, 385, 393, 405, 406,
407, 408, 409, 413, 414, 416, 425,
435, 438, 442, 444, 445, 498; see
also Consolation; Contempla-
tives; Signs
Effort (fight, labor, strive, work)
in prayer 32, 33, 34, 53, 95, 105,
107, 109, 117, 129, 135, 143, 149,
153, 155, 157, 163, 165, 216, 235,
248, 255, 258, 259, 267, 272, 273,
297, 303, 317, 322, 323, 326, 328,
329, 330, 331, 340, 341, 343, 344,
348, 349, 353, 356, 369, 388, 394,
400, 401, 404, 407, 417, 427, 438,
447, 451, 469, 470, 474: disguised
in delight, 103; can be a hin-
drance, 403; one who owes much
must make, 387; what can be
achieved through, 267
Elderly see Age; Nuns; Persons
Elijah: our Father, 401; his hunger
for God's glory, 448; his words,
499
Index
513
Eloquence 124
Embarrassment 385
Emotions see Feelings
Empty the soul 145, 435
Enclosure 20, 40, 49, 76, 82, 92,
306, 357, 451, 460, 461: of Christ
in womb of B.V.M., 144; of God's
grandeur in the soul, 144; of
poverty and humility, 46; of the
self in the heaven of the soul, 141 ;
Council of Trent on, 26
Encouragement 169, 217, 220, 240,
385, 388
Encumbrance of the soul 165
Endurance 311, 321
Enemies 184, 186: of Christ, 41; of
God, 230; love of one's, 255
Enjoy see Joy
Enkindling, of love 131, 221, 255,
358, 368, 370, 391 , 399: in souls of
companions, 450; of the spirit,
430; of the will, 400, 401
Enlightenment 275; see also Light
from God
Enraptured faculties 498; see also
Rapture
Entertainment: few opportunities
for, 451
Enumeration of chapters 465
Envy, a holy 105
Equal, nuns are all to be 27,
139
Erasmus 24
Eremitical spirit 26; see also
Desert; Hermit
Error 57, 185, 445, 452; see also
Faults, Sin
Escorial: library of, 18; text of The
Way of Perfection, 35
Espousal see Betrothal; Spiritual
Essence: of God, 340; of the soul
337,431
Esteem 30, 31, 45, 83, 91, 180, 227,
233, 237, 311, 319, 361, 389, 420,
446, 458, 463, 480: of earthly
things, 390; for souls in whom
God delights, 427
Estrangement 136
Eternal: life, 36; things, 49
Etiquette 122, 123, 139, 149, 178,
179; see also Custom; Honor;
Manners
Etymology 470
Eucharist see Sacraments
Europe 19
Evangelical: counsels, 22, 28, 41,
46; prayer, 183, 203
Evangelists 219
Evil 116, 192, 201, 222, 228, 235,
346, 419: caused by the devil, 363;
forces, 271; good from, 415; in-
curable, 88; love, 54; in monas-
teries, 70, 71, 83, 461; mortal sin
is the only, 289; remedied, 47
Evora 458: text of Way of Per fee
tion, 35
Exaggeration 219, 227, 256, 422
Example 87, 104, 311: obligation to
give good, 165
Excess: of delight, 256; of love 54,
55
Exceptions, God makes 255
Excommunication 266
Exchange of gifts 491
Excuse 90, 91, 93: no for the con
demned, 168; see also Self
Exile 317, 345, 391, 439
Expansion: of heart, 318, 324; of
soul, 331, 332
Experience(s) 15, 19, 21, 31, 32, 43,
44, 45, 46, 61, 62, 65, 67, 70, 72,
74, 83, 108, 111, 112, 116, 121,
127, 129, 132, 140, 142, 147, 148,
149, 151, 152, 154, 155, 157, 158,
161, 171, 181, 182, 191, 196, 207,
210, 211, 213, 218, 224, 227, 229,
243, 248, 249, 255, 260, 264, 269,
272, 273, 275, 277, 281, 287, 293,
303, 309, 313, 316, 317, 318, 319,
322, 323, 324, 328, 329, 332, 333,
334, 335, 337, 338, 340, 344, 345,
514
Index
348, 349, 353, 361, 362, 364, 368,
369, 370, 371, 375, 376, 377, 378,
379, 380, 382, 385, 386, 387, 388,
389, 390, 391, 393, 395, 399, 403,
404, 406, 410, 411, 412, 413, 414,
418, 421, 422, 423, 424, 425, 426,
428, 429, 431, 432, 433, 438, 439,
440, 441, 442, 443, 460, 469, 475,
488, 489, 492: delicate, 325;
dependent on having faith, 285;
indescribable, 365; infused, 487;
an inner of the content of
Revelation, 20; value of, 104; of
union, 274; see also Mystical;
Supernatural
Exterior things 134, see also Senses
Extraordinary mystical phenom-
ena 274; see also Mystical
Eyes: of body or of soul, (seeing),
62, 142, 153, 170, 171, 172, 173,
327, 358, 371, 378, 389, 405, 419,
430, 440, 442; inner, 412; not in
its power to see or not, 431, 436;
see also Blindness; GOD
Eyewitness to evil 54, 55
Factions 55, 70
Faculties 32, 33, 34, 141, 148, 151,
153, 155, 156, 157, 158, 243, 249,
253, 273, 277, 283, 292, 293, 299,
301, 319, 320, 325, 327, 330, 340,
349, 350, 352, 355, 366, 367, 368,
378, 380, 383, 387, 400, 413, 433,
436, 437, 441, 471, 498: are amaz-
ed, 442; awakened, 440; bound,
422; dead or asleep, 252; enclo-
sure of, 147; enrapturing of, 422;
freedom of, 154, 395; incapability
of, 365; lost, 430; silence of, 147;
sleep of, 336, 490; and soul are
not one, but different, 432;
suspension of, 131, 157; union of,
157, 395; see also Absorption;
Imagination; Intellect; Memory;
Will
Failure 136, 398
Faintheartedness 141, 235, 246, 446
Fainting 380
Faith 20, 21, 25, 50, 127, 150, 171,
172, 216, 219, 221, 235, 237, 238,
240, 241, 252, 253, 284, 300, 303,
332, 372, 374, 381, 386, 404, 414,
430: mysteries of, 20; and reason
teach the soul, 299; truths of, 20;
weakened, 373
Fall 120
False (counterfeit, fancied, feign-
ed, suspect) see these listed under
Accusation; Consolation; De-
light; Desire; Favors; Freedom;
Friendship; Humility; Joy; Lo-
cutions; Mystics; Peace; Pity;
Prophet; Quiet; Rapture; Secu-
rity; Tears; Virtue; see also
Deception; Delusion; Illusion;
Lies
Falsehood: to walk in, 420
Family: members visit or stay in
monastery, 27; relating to one's,
74; ties, 136; see also Relatives
Fasting 30, 52, 53, 82, 180, 352,
463: and abstaining from meat,
480
Father(s): of prodigal son, 395;
all on earth, 138; see also God
Fathers: of the Desert, 467; of the
order, 54, 89. 336, 464; mortifica
tion of, 81; poverty of, 46
Fatigue 130
Faults 30, 41, 68, 72, 77, 83, 88,
91, 92, 100, 1 10, 130, 158, 177,
178, 182, 190, 191, 197, 201, 223,
224, 229, 232, 234, 240, 258, 284,
289, 307, 31 1, 314, 315, 320, 322,
336, 348, 350, 352, 353, 356, 358,
363, 372, 379, 383, 387, 390, 408,
436, 443, 464, 470: distress over,
310; habitual, 225; insensitivity
to, 223; of others, 69, 271, 295,
463; repeated, 230; rooted, 230;
true friends correct one another's,
67
Favors (gifts) received in prayer 34,
41, 81, 87, 88, 102, 107, 110, 127,
137, 138, 141, 149, 151, 152, 154,
Index
515
155, 157, 158, 159, 160, 164, 180,
181, 183, 184, 185, 186, 189, 190,
194, 196, 202, 207, 215, 217, 218,
220, 221, 223, 224, 225, 236, 237,
238, 240, 241, 244, 245, 246, 247,
248, 250, 251, 253, 255, 258, 259,
272, 276, 284, 285, 301, 306, 307,
308, 310, 311, 313, 314, 315, 316,
318, 319, 325, 327, 328, 329, 332,
336, 337, 339, 340, 341, 345, 346,
348, 349, 355, 356, 358, 360, 361,
366, 368, 369, 370, 374, 379, 380,
383, 386, 395, 396, 397, 400, 402,
405, 406, 407, 409, 414, 415, 417,
418, 419, 421, 426, 427, 429, 430,
431, 432, 433, 434, 436, 439, 441,
443, 444, 445, 446, 447, 448, 463,
465, 474, 492: with admiration,
408; analyses of, 275; authenticity
of, 275; the body participates in,
324; the call to Carmel is a, 72;
counterfeit, 333, 377; distress
over, 372, 387, 391, 398; duration
of, 363; extraordinary, 257; fan-
cied, 365; from God always
enrich, 182; granted publicly,
384, 442; never ask for, 416; not
necessary for salvation, 326; by
those in sin, 18, 95; sovereign,
252; stupefaction from, 251; see
also Benefits; Effects; Effort
Favoritism 146
Fear (fright) 59, 79, 81, 82, 91, 97,
98, 100, 106, 109, 110, 112, 114,
115, 117, 119, 120, 121, 122, 126,
127, 161, 170, 182, 184, 185, 186,
188, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195,
197, 203, 217, 218, 220, 221, 222,
223, 224, 227, 228, 233, 235, 236,
237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 246, 252,
274, 296, 305, 306, 309, 312, 315,
345, 357, 360, 363, 369, 370, 371,
372, 374, 375, 377, 387, 390, 391,
393, 397, 398, 406, 407, 409, 413,
414, 421, 425, 426, 431, 436, 440,
441, 443, 445, 446, 469, 492, 498:
distorts self-knowledge, 293; of
everything, 271; excessive, 410; of
extremes, 199; that is extreme,
412; from false humility, 293; of
sin, 289
Fear: of God 77, 196, 198, 200, 223,
304, 332, 477, 478; of offending
God, 289
Feeling(s) 62, 157, 161, 173, 199,
225, 249, 252, 274, 277, 309, 310,
318, 319, 331, 333, 334, 337, 338,
345, 350, 361, 363, 368, 370, 393,
399, 400, 402, 405, 430, 431, 435,
440: cannot be controlled, 385;
Christ's, 347; cannot be hidden,
425; hostile, 439; in the intimate
depth of soul, 422, 423; rejected
by God, 274, 364; of the soul are
more severe than those of the
body, 422, 423; see also Annihila-
tion
Feminine, a creature so 392; see
also Antifeminism
Fervor: initial, 259; helping others
despite loss of, 348
Fidelity 44, 274: see also GOD
Tig', the 415
FIGURES OF SPEECH (Terms of
analogy, allegory, metaphor, sign
and symbol, see also Castle Im-
agery)
abyss, 114
adobe, 139
air, 64
alembic, 394
animals, wild (in subjection),
302
annuity, 104
antidote to poison, 302
apples, 250, 259
apple tree, 248, 249
aqueducts, 323, 326, 331
arquebus, ball from, 389
arrival, 117
arrow(s), 252, 368, 435: fiery,
422
assault, 192
516
Index
Figures of Speech (cont'd)
banner, 181
bark (ship), 387
battle, 49, 81, 103, 113, 127,
134, 169
bed of roses, 224
beehive, 143, 291
bees, 143, 291
beg, 329
betrothed, 124
bird (fledglings), 314, 404
bird with broken wings, 306
black cloth, 289
black vs white, 292
blindness, 119, 120, 150, 192,
227
blows, 127, 422
blowing: on candle, 156; on fire,
400
body, 448
borrowing, 125
boundaries, 387
branches, 71, 249
brazier, 325, 368
breasts (divine), 435
bride and bridegroom, 126, 211
bricks, 139
brute beasts, 286
burning, 425
butterfly, 273,276, 277, 343, 344,
345, 354, 378, 391, 392, 421,
434, 438, 442, 491
candle, 156
captains, 48, 103, 104, 466
captives, 143, 237, 238
carats, 254
caress, 245
castle, in air, 450
castle, fortified, 48, 142, 192
chains, 392
chess, 465: pieces, 94
child, nursing, 332
children, 97, 114, 196
children's games, 115
chosen people, 48
city, 48
cleansing, 109
clear water, 109
cloud, 120, 364
coat of arms, 46
cocoon, 273, 344
coin, 104
combat, 49, 333
comet falling, 367
conquered, 127
country of the spouse, 124
courage, 107
court, 140, 145
cowards, 48
crazy person, 227
crevice, 442
cripples, 286
crucible, 325
crush devil's head, 120
crystal, 288
cure, 73, 411
custom, 122
danger, 107, 119
deafness, 159
death, 48, 150, 332, 438
death on road, 1 17
death from thirst, 114, 119, 127
debt, 187, 195
deer, wounded, 442
defense, 104
design, 254
desperado, 127
dew, 249
diamond, 269
disciple, 137
dishonor, 107
ditch, 478
doctor, 73
dove, 348, 354, 366, 421, 491
drink from chalice, 104
drinking, 113, 114, 127, 142, 154,
252, 467
drop of water, 424
drowning, 1 1 1
dunces, 401
dung, 383, 389
dust, 110, 383, 422
duty, 103, 104
dwarfs, 447
Index
517
see also Dwelling Places
earth, 108
eat(ing), 88, 111, 158, 169, 258
elements, 108
emperor, 329
enemy, 48, 81, 107, 142, 185, 191,
195, 223, 304, 364
engagement, 274
exile, 284
expenses of trip, 127
falls, 97
farm worker, 123
father, 139
fatigue, 437
feet, clay or leaden, 76
fetters, 164
file, noiseless, 295
fire: 108, 174, 193, 197, 368, 389,
391, 394, 425, 440; of thirst,
423
fire (love of God): 108, 109, 143,
249, 400, 401, 423; dying, 400
flag, 104
flame(s): 108, 425, 434; move up-
ward, 440
flight (fleeing), 120
flowers, 224, 256, 257, 258, 259,
291
flying, 291, 314, 391, 392, 404
foam, 84
food: 51, 88, 97, 150, 157, 158,
170, 248, 448; cut, cooked and
chewed, 249
fool, 158, 329, 331
foot of the mount, 230
force of arms, 158
foreign country, 195
fortified city, 48
fountain, crystal-clear, 289
fount of living water, 16, 107,
113, 114, 119, 127, 142, 154,
163, 203, 204, 263, 289, 290,
331, 478; tiny fount, 435
fragrance: 257, 259, 324, 370;
powerful, 243
freezing, 109
friend, 238
fruit(s), 248, 258, 259, 289, 354,
395, 437
fumes, fragrant, 325
gain, 119
game(s), 94, 142, 196
gesture of a hand, 171
giant and straw, 387
gifts, 491
giving, 125
glassmaker, 111
go astray, 312
goal, 113, 127
gold: 64, 143, 325; tested, 254
golden vessel, 41 1
grains of pepper, 341
grinding flour, 322
ground, 121
guards, 123
guest, 144, 156
hair, one, 94
hand, 119, 175, 249
hands: folded, 223; joined, 355,
491
hardship, 107
head, 448
health, 73, 88
healthy persons, 88
heat, 175, 400, 425
hedgehog, 328
honey, 143, 291
honor, 104
hospitality, 172
house: of spouse, 124; of stranger,
156; of straw, 178
hunger, 169
husband, 134, 156
inebriation, 102, 252, 396
infant, nursing, 156, 244
inlays of precious stones and
enamels, 254
inn, a bad, 477
insignia, 46
irrigation, 394
jewels, 126, 143, 162, 163, 275,
390, 411, 494
journey, 110, 114, 115, 117, 119,
128, 142, 151, 154, 163, 176,
518
Index
Figures of Speech (cont'd)
192, 199, 291, 312, 314, 470
journey's end, 117, 142
king(s), 103, 104, 119, 123, 140,
142, 143, 144, 145, 154, 219,
240, 348, 379, 437, 466: in
disguise, 172
kingdom, 134, 154, 437
knocking, 224
labor, 107, 314
laborers, 51
lamp, 224
land, 109, 142, 302, 312, 390
land of Egypt, 77
learned men, 123
legs, 475
lender (lending), 125, 126
light, 277, 434
lightning, 422
living water, see water
lodging, 172
lord(s), 81, 123, 145
lord s table, 97
lost way, 123, 448
lowered eyes, 329
lowly people, 145
madmen, 156, 472
manna, 77, 169, 248, 301
marriage, 274, 277, 379
married people, 156
master, 137, 170
melancholic, 396
metal, 325
milk, mother's, 156, 157, 260,
435; see also mother's
millclapper, 322
millions (revenue), 123
mine, a gold, 64
mire, 398
mirror, 269, 290, 436
mist, 269
mother's: breasts, 332; love, 245
mouth, 157
mud, 109, 110, 139, 470: in eyes,
294
muddy water, 467
music, 132: sweet, 362
nectar, 291
negotiating, 122
obligation, 104
obstacles, 97
odor, bad, 123
offspring, 240
ointment, 243, 311
palace, 142, 143, 144, 145, 154,
437
palmetto, 291
paradise, 146, 252, 283
paralysis, 286
parrots, 281
path, 114, 115, 116, 117, 119,
121, 128, 142, 191, 192, 199,
215, 291, 292, 314, 348, 350,
391, 399, 416, 448
peace, 321, 345
pearl from the Orient, 288
peasant girl, 240
pebbles, 383
penny, 119
perfume, sweet-smelling, 324
pestilence, 55, 71, 83, 186
person: bound 429; hanging 423;
starving 429; thirsty 107;
uneducated 123;
phoenix, 379
pilot, 387
pinprick, 224
pit, 475
pitch, 108, 289
plague, 463
plants, 230
poison, 185, 198, 217
poisonous creatures, 217
pool, 119
pools for children, 114
poor, 187, 329
portion, 97
price, 117
prince, 123
prison, 151, 164, 187, 429
puddle, 395
pupil, 130
rain, 277, 312, 434
reliquary, 41 1
rents, 123
Index
519
respect, 122
rest, 154
retreat, 104
revenue, 104
reward, 113, 117
rich, 127
rider, 107
rivers, 114, 277, 398, 434, 435
road, 110, 114, 117, 132, 291,
399, 400, 478: bad, 312; royal,
119; safe, 191
roots, 71, 257
royal brocade, 219
rudeness, 123
ruler, 158
safe place, 395
salary, 103
scales on eyes, 276, 430
sea, 49, 108, 142, 143, 151, 176,
277, 358, 387, 392, 424, 434
seal, 346
search, 114
seed, 341, 348
serpents, 195
servants, 97, 170, 197
service, 103
shadow, 63, 248, 425
shepherd, 123, 219, 220, 324,
328
ship, 142, 176, 387, 443
sickness, 88
signs, 151, 154
silkworm, 273, 341, 342, 343, 348,
350
simpleton, 122
sips, 151, 202
siren s song, 49
sisters (the virtues), 76
slaves, 197, 447
sleep, 119
smell, foul, 285
smoking fire, painful but en-
durable, 422
snakes, 312
snow, 312
soldiers, 48, 103, 104, 185, 466
son, 139
sound of building, 442
spark, 143, 365, 368, 379, 402
specks, 383
splendor, 193
spoils, 227
spouses sharing honor and
dishonor, 86
springs, 323, 324, 326, 387: flow-
ing 331
standard-bearer, 103
starvation, 48
statues of salt, 286
stealing, 119, 463
step, 115
stomach, 448
stones, precious, 143, 411
stooping, 113
stopping movement of the
heavens, 320
storm, 443: calmed 364
straw, 64, 386, 387: drawn by
amber, 386
stream, 119, 277, 289, 323, 331,
434
strength, 107, 114
struggle, 119
stumbling block, 192
subjects, 143
sun, 248, 249, 288, 290, 412
sunburn, 248
sunlight, 364
sun's rays, 389
sunrise, 155
sunset, 155
surgeon, 311
surrender, 48
swallowing, 157
sword-in-hand, 227
table: gaming, 142, Lord's, 97
taste, 248, 249
teacher, 130
tempest, 176, 315, 358, 364, 369
tempestuous sea, 194
tenant farmers, 123
thief, 90, 463
thieves, 76
thirst, 32, 110, 111, 204, 424, 467
520
Index
Figures of Speech (cont'd)
thorn, 224
thread, 112
throne, 144
thunderclap, 367
tired, 312
titles, 123
toxin, 84
traitor, 48
travel(er), 117, 122, 142, 143,
151, 191
treasure, 90, 117, 159, 187, 383,
463
treasure chamber, 381
tree, 257, 259, 289, 290, 437: of
life, 288
trifle, 126, 145
turtle, 328
unconquered, 48
vassals, 123, 307
vessels, 111
victors, 185
victory, 48, 127
vineyard, 97
viper's bite, 300
wages, 185
walk, 110, 114, 115, 312
war, 81, 103, 185, 192, 222, 223,
224, 227, 228, 236, 321, 345,
364, 437, 443, 447, 448
warm, 174, 325
water (see also Prayer) 102, 107,
108, 109, 110, 114, 142, 323,
324, 326, 331, 395, 423, 424,
435, 442, 467: from heaven,
395; running, 437
water, living, 16, 34, 109, 110,
111, 117, 119, 127, 163, 203,
288, 467
water troughs, 273, 323, 331, 387
wave, 387, 398, 443
wax, 346: candles, 434
way, 97, 119, 120, 151, 203, 401
weakness, 113
weaned, 260
weapons, 364
wedding, 124
well, flowing, 395
whistle, 328
wicks, 434
wife, 134, 156
wild horses, 32, 107
wind, 64, 142, 312
wine, 102, 251, 344, 448
wine cellar, 251, 340, 346, 448
wings, 291, 344
wobbly building, 60
worm, 52, 220, 240, 247, 285,
344, 350, 358, 381, 383, 477
wounds, 311
wretched inn, 195
Flesh see Body
Flight: bodily, 75; of the spirit, 386,
442, 494; from the world, 75
Food 43, 47, 226; see also Eating;
Fasting
Foolishness: of soul, 220, 333, 364,
379, 397, 398, 432, 490; of spirit,
45
Force of arms 22; see also Eccle-
siastical arm; Secular arm
Forgetfulness: of creatures, 245; of
the world, 67
Forgiveness 177, 180, 182, 183
Formula for prayer 33
Fortitude 89, 142, 182, 197, 238,
239, 244, 248, 272, 274, 278, 309,
314, 315, 360, 414, 440, 442, 445,
447, 448; in face of opposition,
187, 274
Foundations (Teresas book) 21,
480, 488, 489, 493, 496, 498
Foundation: of monasteries 17, 38,
469; of St. Joseph's, Avila, 15, 41;
motives for, 41
Founders of religious orders 356
France 19, 20, 41
Francis of Assissi, St. 108, 356,
395, 396, 448
Francis Borgia, St. 471
Franciscans 17
Freedom 82, 110, 165, 234, 365,
391, 392, 422, 463: of Carmelite
Index
521
nuns, 48, 57, 59, 60, 61, 89; of
cloistered nuns, 461; from
distress, 372; from evil, 201; from
experiences like locutions, 371;
from exterior matters, 295; of the
faculties, 154; false, 120; God
gives, 295; of hell, 332; from illu-
sion, 314; inner, 30, 63, 73, 93,
161, 198, 241, 295, 321; to be
'mad' in religious community,
396; no exteriorly, 374; in
prayer, 33; from self, 293; of soul,
332; of spirit, 76, 238, 310; of the
will from earthly things, 252
FRIENDSHIP
27, 29, 56, 79, 271, 344, 360, 362:
Kind of: dangerous, 57; false, 85;
great, 55; suspect, 231; true,
67, 115
Relations in and for: communica-
tion an essential in, 136, 214;
true will not dissimulate, 67,
115; excess of love in, 55; fear
in, 66; one who needs no one
has many friends, 45; partiality
in, 55; with the world, 42, 116;
see also Love
With God 25, 26, 102, 104, 127,
133, 164, 175, 195, 221, 225,
229, 230, 231, 232, 234, 236,
240, 242, 243, 333, 449; see also
CHRIST
Frustration 226
Fulfillment 299
Future 373, 376, 390, 476
Garden (of olives) 134, 141, 150,
162, 240, 241
Generosity 63, 126, 163
Genetic laws 22
Gentleness 302, 330
Geography 20
Gibraltar 480
Gift: sovereign, 432; of discernment
of spirits, 414; of Holy Spirit, 215;
of self, 163; giving of God and the
soul is mutual, 254; giving versus
receiving, 64
Gloom 365
Glory: one's own, 326, 398; here
below, 195; increased, 44; see also
CHRIST; GOD
GOD
Blessed Trinity: indwelling of,
141, 211, 382, 428; Feast of in
1577, 266; Teresa's vision of,
277, 430
the Father 51, 135, 137, 138, 139,
140, 141, 143, 148, 150, 153,
158, 160, 161, 163. 164, 165,
166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 175,
177, 182, 184, 186, 191, 200,
201, 303, 350, 388, 400, 412,
430, 436, 450, 471, 472, 473,
474; better than all fathers on
earth, 138
the Son 137, 138, 140, 141, 153,
166, 167, 168, 169, 177, 272,
277, 303, 350, 430, 436, 445,
450, 474; His love for the
Father, 175; See also CHRIST
the Holy Spirit 26, 109, 112, 140,
185, 207, 209, 215, 217, 219,
242, 253, 267, 316, 317, 342,
358, 359, 375, 377, 378, 430; as
mediator, 249
His Actions: activity, 346, 367,
368; afflicts His lovers, 424; has
different way with souls, 487;
holds the mind, 319; makes
the soul a fool, 339; pardons
easily, 126; reveals His love for
us, 242; repays, 218; sets seal on
soul, 346; shows His Kingdom
to soul, 150; will not abandon,
133; one word of His contains a
thousand mysteries, 217
His Attributes: arms of, 97, 244,
246, 392; compassion, 419;
delight in the soul, 418; divini
ty, 340; essence, 340; fidelity,
44, 112, 146, 186, 211, 239,
254, 377, 409; mutual fidelity
of God and soul, 431; generosi
ty, 126, 285, 308; glory, 50,
140, 258, 272, 285, 319, 330,
522
Index
God (cont'd)
361, 392, 418, 438, 452;
goodness, 51, 285; greatness,
427; has a hand in all our ex-
periences, 317; honor, 51, 138,
235, 258, 272, 319, 330, 356,
361, 377, 385, 392, 418, 438,
448; humility, 123, 133, 218,
354; interests, 234; joy, 164;
judgments, 442; justice, 51, 52,
314; knowledge, 430; mercy,
52; mysteries, 216; nearness,
32; power, 340, 430; presence,
133, 153, 173, 175, 269, 273,
289, 330, 331, 340, 395, 401,
407, 411; presence made known
clearly to soul, 431; presence
never departs from soul, 431;
presence is felt, 440, 443; puri-
ty, 123; riches, 220; tabernacle,
443; things of, 318; hidden
things of, 381; truth, 211;
voice, 328; will, 112, 138, 160,
161, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167,
169, 170, 177, 202, 203, 236,
240, 242, 305, 311, 325, 345,
347, 349, 350, 351, 355, 356,
357, 393, 416, 417, 419, 423,
425, 439, 472; His will is the
deed, 97; wisdom, 325, 342;
wonders, 84, 342; word of, 219,
242, 258; works of, 219
He is: companion, 431, 444, 447;
Emperor, 122, who is ignored,
141; free to give or deny favors,
488; little esteemed, 345; living
waters of life, 288; Master, 131;
not fastidious, 126; not to be
limited, 421; not to be
separated from the soul, 434;
our business and our language,
116; a palace in which the soul
sins, 419; patient, 298; source
of all our good, 31, 290; sun in
the center of the soul, 289;
Truth, 113
Soul's Relations with God: slaves
of, 446; dealing with, 89;
delights begin in Him, 318;
delight mutual between and
soul, 418; displeasing, 45, 77,
92, 254, 392; divine milk from,
244; dwelling in, 337; fearing,
460; feeling rejected by Him,
274, 364; finding, 400; im-
peding the action of, 346; in-
timacy with, 164, 358; limiting,
285; locutions from, 372; long-
ing for, 391, 422; losing, 358;
we must know before we can
know ourselves, 292; offending,
91; pleasing, 26, 42, 43, 45, 47,
50, 51, 54, 87, 133, 150, 193,
230, 234, 238, 239, 253, 254,
258, 259, 272, 288, 319, 323,
330, 335, 356, 378, 383, 388,
401, 406, 409, 415, 419, 431,
441, 443, 446, 450; seeing, 339,
343, 359; soul sees - at its side,
407; seeking, 328, 400; speak-
ing to, 123,' 124, 129, 130, 131,
136, 140, 147, 148, 173, 217,
220; speaking to a friend of is
a good way of having, 67; see
also CHRIST; Creator; Friend-
ship; Grandeur
Good 55, 115: not to be an occasion
of wrong, 231; goodness, 61, 113
Gospels 27, 33, 118, 127, 467: ex-
plained to souls by the Persons of
the Trinity, 430; See also Scrip-
ture
Gossip 187, 296, 360, 361, 449
Grace 71, 192, 195, 268, 271, 272,
289, 332, 336, 340, 351, 364, 388,
390, 408, 428, 450: state of, 429,
486
Granada, Luis de, Fray, O.P. 24,
31, 467, 489
Grandeurs of God 124, 131, 144,
174, 244, 248, 250, 252, 253, 275,
285, 324, 332, 339, 342, 381, 382,
383, 390, 392, 393, 395, 397, 398,
408, 419, 427, 434, 443
Index
523
Gratian, Jerome 211, 212, 263, 265,
278, 279, 458, 483, 484, 486, 487,
493: his edition of Meditations,
called Conceptions, 213
Gratitude (giving thanks) 34, 47,
63, 126, 146, 156, 186, 226, 246,
313, 331, 369, 370, 419, 473: pain
at not having, 398
Greek 217
Grief 66, 73, 311, 344, 346, 397:
over offending God, 302; over
others' faults, 69
Growth, spiritual 104, 332, 357
Guilt see Feelings
Gustos see Delight
Habit of the order 38, 50, 86, 308,
311, 335, 476
Habits 91, 93, 130, 136, 148, 198,
300: bad, 83, 90
Hail Mary, the 25, 118, 120, 128,
132, 203, 468
Happiness 87, 244, 245, 257, 305,
314, 324, 345, 353, 374, 397, 426:
habitual and interior, 224; im
pulse of, 395
Harm 58, 59, 63, 68, 71, 73, 74, 87,
89, 90, 97, 104, 110, 113, 115,
1 16, 122, 127, 131, 147, 165, 186,
194, 199, 227, 228, 260, 314, 315,
317, 329, 330, 338, 357, 365, 371,
373, 377, 383, 394, 399, 415, 436,
447, 460, 461, 464, 475
Head 320, 403, 437: aches from
tears, 318; prayer omitted because
aches, 78
Health 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 91, 111,
126, 129, 163, 171, 201, 228, 251,
271, 274, 295, 307, 312, 320, 322,
332, 333, 334, 349, 350, 362, 371,
394, 437; see also Teresa: health
Hearing see Ear
Heart: prayer from, 121, 135, 475;
slows up beat, 423; feels earthly
consolations, 324; fire of love
distills the, 394; see also Expan-
sion
Heaven 19, 87, 101, 109, 117, 131,
137, 138, 140, 142, 145, 147, 160,
161, 166, 169, 179, 228, 234, 239,
276, 292, 336, 343, 358, 360, 380,
383, 391, 400, 410, 424, 432, 434,
436, 438, 465: many dwelling
places in, 283
Hebrew 217
Hell 47, 57, 66, 67, 77, 86, 87, 99,
106, 116, 136, 139, 177, 189, 195,
197, 222, 300, 347, 351, 356, 362,
364, 377, 385, 398, 413, 416, 424,
464, 466, 475
Heresy 120
Heretics 22, 47, 51, 345: no longer
use images, 173
Hermit 26, 81, 87, 113
Hermitage 46
Historical context 19, 20, 208; see
also Social Situation; Spain
Holiness 199, 410: and favors, 417
Holy See 462
Honor 27, 30, 36, 51, 59, 65, 70, 83,
84, 86, 89, 97, 123, 162, 178, 179,
181, 182, 187, 193, 214, 226, 227,
233, 234, 235, 239, 241, 257, 271,
272, 311, 385, 438, 446, 458, 463,
464, 476, 480: afflicts, 180; con-
cern for is a pestilence, 71; and
profit do not go together, 178;
Teresa's anathema regarding, 71;
see also CHRIST; Etiquette; God
Honorius III 26
Hope 151, 184, 202, 298, 315, 349,
365, 444
House(s) 27, 46, 47
Household affairs, duties, manage
ment 24, 70, 101, 183, 271, 306
Huguenots 20
HUMAN
Condition 30, 273, 276
Nature 43, 57, 63, 64, 66, 84, 85,
89, 105, 107, 110, 112, 118,
123, 129, 132, 166, 169, 223,
238, 241, 255, 272, 281, 286,
300, 317, 318, 322, 333, 334,
337, 349, 351, 353, 379, 393,
407, 408, 444: consolation
524
Index
Human (cont'd)
begins in, 318; 'in the begin-
ning' God gave strength to, 293
Race is made the friend of God 221
Schemes 43
Spirit 371
Humiliation 352
Humility 27, 28, 30, 31, 35, 46, 52,
54, 69, 77, 83, 84, 86, 91, 92, 94,
98, 99, 100, 101, 103, 104, 105,
106, 112, 113, 118, 119, 121, 123,
141, 146, 158, 161, 165, 179, 181,
186, 187, 188, 189, 191, 193, 204,
210, 217, 227, 228, 231, 236, 238,
241, 253, 270, 274, 275, 285, 290,
293, 294, 307, 308, 310, 311, 312,
313, 314, 319, 327, 329, 339, 351,
352, 377, 378, 385, 388, 390, 394,
407, 410, 414, 415, 416, 420, 444,
447, 449, 463, 464, 465, 474, 476,
477: and detachment are sisters,
76; false, 141, 239; sign of, 326
Hundredfold 127
Hunger 43, 81, 165, 170
Idigoras, J. Ignacio Tellechea 456
Ignatius of Loyola, St., S.J. 356
Ignorance 284
Iliterate persons 203
Illnss See Health
Ill-temper 365
Illumination See Light from God
Illusion(s) 36, 105, 182, 185, 193,
255, 314, 368, 371, 372, 408: in-
volving sin, 197
Image 136, 173, 380, 411, 415, 436,
442, 473
Imagery 268, 273: see also Castle
Imagery (in Appendix); Figure of
speech
Imagination 131, 136, 165, 172,
226, 308, 319, 322, 325, 328, 329,
337, 352, 359, 363, 364, 367, 369,
373, 374,375, 376, 377, 388, 389,
390, 396, 412, 414, 416, 421, 436,
445, 471, 472: being absorbed in,
413; devil produces wiles in, 352;
engraved on the, 411; instability
of, 488; rebellion of, 488; a weak,
334, 371, 372, 413; not everything
imagined is a vision, 418; imagin-
ing is necessary, 144; imaginary
pain, 80; see also Faculties
Imaginative visions see Visions
Imitation of Christ 46, 65, 66, 86,
91, 135, 238, 259, 326, 362, 419,
445
Impediments see God (Actions);
Prayer; Religious life
Imperfections 73, 79, 182, 200, 201,
257, 301, 309, 363, 387, 423, 444,
476: become natural, 461; seem-
ing, 199; in teachers, 49
Impulse see Happiness; Love
Incarnation of the Second Person
of the Trinity see CHRIST;
GOD
Incarnation, Avila see Monastery
Inclination to base things 166
Income 27, 41, 43, 44, 458, 475
Index of forbidden books 24: in
eludes Bible, 208
Indies 17
Individual capacities for spiritual
life 270
Indulgences 115
Inebriation (intoxication): heaven
ly, 244, 245, 258; see also Prayer
Infidelity to God 231, 436
Inflamed in love 417: see also
Enkindling; Love
Infused experiences (i.e. not ac-
quired) 268, 327, 487, 488, 489:
see also Prayer; Recollection;
Supernatural
Inheritance 464
Inner: life, 148; oppression, 274,
477; see also Freedom; Interior;
Light
Innocence, state of 467
Innocent IV, Pope 26
Inquisition, Spanish 24, 208, 263,
279, 495: archives of, 483
Inquisitor 25: General, 24, 208, 468
Intellect 106, 110, 131, 134, 137,
Index
525
139, 141, 143, 154, 158, 172, 216,
236, 237, 239, 245, 252, 253, 254,
273, 283, 292, 293, 299, 319, 322,
323, 328, 329, 331, 335, 337, 340,
373, 376, 378, 384, 400, 401, 402,
403, 412, 413, 442, 471, 472, 488:
clamor of, 331; darkened, 357,
372; is in frenzy, 129; incapable of
understanding, 364; is instructed,
330; restlessness of, 319; window
of opened by God, 431; see also
Faculties
Intellectual visions see Visions
Intensity see Love for God; Union
Intention 43, 186, 200, 251, 310:
bad, 227, 288; no evil, 419; of new
members, 88; purity of, 69
Intercessors 293
Interior Castle (Teresas book) 21,
264, 269, 274, 278, 279, 449, 469,
470, 479, 480, 481, 486, 495
Interior 53, 290, 325, 329, 338, 352,
369, 378, 379, 380, 387, 391, 395,
396, 414, 438, 492: battles, 321;
benefits, 406; delight, 374; em-
pyreal heaven in, 382; experience,
386; the extreme, 277, 430, 440;
flight, 389; stirrings, 83, 84;
strength, 448; words, 377; works,
330; world, 320; see also Castle
Imagery; Joy; Trials
Intimacy 211: see also God: Soul's
Relations
Intimidation 51, 127, 362, 373
Intoxication, heavenly see Inebria-
tion; Prayer: Supernatural
Invitation to all 113, 114
Israel(ites) 381: bring back sign,
390; cross the Jordan, 392
Jacob and the ladder 381
Jealousy 125
Jerome, St. 59, 412
Jesuits 356
Jewelry 27; see also Figures of
speech
Jews 135
Job's wife and friends 85
John of Avila, St. 492
John the Baptizer, St. 227
John of the Cross, St. 488, 496
Jonah 374, 493: his ivy and the
worm, 350
Jordan River turns back 392
Joshua 378
Journey: inward, 274; spiritual, 278;
see also Figures of speech
Joy (enjoy, rejoicing) 12, 33, 131,
134, 151, 169, 193, 199, 202, 207,
210, 216, 217, 218, 220, 225, 232,
237, 241, 244, 245, 246, 251, 255,
275, 276, 317, 318, 319, 323, 331,
332, 335, 338, 354, 360, 367, 370,
378, 382, 383, 385, 390, 391, 396,
397, 399, 403, 404, 435, 442, 448,
487: annihilates pain, 181; ex-
cessive, 395; interior, 439, 498;
overwhelming, 426; suspect, 403;
of the world, 234
Jubilation 395
Judas 70, 139, 227, 348, 356, 402,
470
Judges are all men 23, 51
Judgment 106, 195: by the One we
have loved, 194; Day, 47, 50, 226;
of others, 199, 231 , 350; on day of
death, 230; rash, 385
Justice 104, 313
Kings 45, 52, 67: see also Figures of
speech
Kingdom of God 151, 153, 158,
159, 163, 164, 181, 201, 202: see
also GOD; Figures of Speech:
kingdom
Knowledge 22, 62, 63, 144, 151,
157, 165, 170, 171, 199, 207, 253,
254, 275, 318, 321, 322, 324, 329,
330, 332, 355, 380, 386, 388, 389,
390, 392, 393, 421, 422, 424, 430,
443: can be a consolation, 284; of
self and of the other, 274; see also
Intellect; Self; Castle Imagery
nos. 9, 16
Knowledge of God: all — is equiva-
526
Index
lent to knowing nothing, 124; par-
ticular, 407; of His indescribable
closeness, 249; of His grandeurs,
275; see also GOD; Grandeurs
Labor see Livelihood; Work
Labor: for the Lord 48; for souls,
64; see also Effort; Figures of
speech
Land 46; see also Figures of spech
Language: God is our, 116; of
heaven, 58, 116; of love, used by
the Holy Spirit, 217, 221, 256; of
the world, 1 16
Languages see Arabic; Greek;
Hebrew; Latin; Spanish
Languishing: exterior and interior,
333, 334; see also Prayer; Quiet;
Swoon
Laredo, Bernardino de 471, 484,
489
Las Nieves 212, 213
Last Supper, the 200, 346
Latin 209, 210, 215, 217, 497
Laugh 378: at self, 64; at others,
171; at trials, 135; see also
TERESA: laughs
Law: of the Church, 461; of God,
60, 65, 459
Lawsuit 475
Laxity 232: in observance, 225; in
small things, 222; do not rest in,
229
Lay Sisters 458
Layz, Teresa 493
Lazarus 349
Learning 22, 48, 61, 199, 216, 318,
320, 351, 382, 414, 445, 461, 462:
lack of 430; see also Men and Per-
sons (learned)
Legend of quo vadis 445, 497
Leon, Fray Luis de, O.S.A. 35,
279, 465: imprisonment of, 208
Letters {Teresa's book) 482
Library 467: of the Escorial, 18
Licentiate 458
Lies 374, 420; see also False
Life {Teresa's book) 15, 16, 17, 19,
23, 40, 41, 132, 204, 213, 243,
263, 264, 269, 279, 455, 456, 458,
461, 462, 465, 468, 469, 470, 473,
474, 477, 479, 480, 481, 492, 483,
484, 485, 487, 488, 489, 490, 491,
492, 493, 494, 495, 496
Life: new in Christ, 273; style, 87;
wearisome, 237
Light from God 106, 113, 115, 120,
159, 185, 191, 204, 215, 225, 229,
233, 234, 244, 257, 276, 294, 316,
322, 330, 335, 338, 340, 348, 356,
357, 361, 372, 377, 380, 381, 388,
431: infused, 412; interior and ex-
terior, 428
Lineage 139; see also Honor
Listening 148; see also Ear
Liturgy 82, 174; see also PRAYER,
Liturgical
Livelihood 235; see also St. Paul;
Work (labor)
Locutions 20, 22, 275, 371, 373,
374, 375, 376, 378, 406, 480:
authority of from God, 372;
comprehending, 376; false, 492;
from deep within, 370; from out-
side, 370; genuine, 492; imagin
ed, 377; kinds of, 372; mystical,
492; see also Ear; PRAYER,
Supernatural
Lords 45, 67; see also Figures of
speech
Loss: of everything, 355; of souls, 87
Lost souls receive favors 96
Lot's wife 286
LOVE
God's love for us 56, 97, 138, 139,
144, 166, 182, 190, 195, 217,
219, 243, 244, 245, 246, 247,
248, 249, 254, 255, 325, 333,
346, 373, 383, 402, 405, 417,
419, 434, 446, 450: actions of
-are felt, 354; arms of, 331; as
Father, and as Son, 167; He re-
veals it, 242; touches of, 441;
see also GOD
Index
527
Love for God, 25, 31, 50, 54, 56,
63, 82, 94, 108, 112, 129, 140,
143, 151, 154, 161, 164, 166,
180, 181, 182, 192, 194, 196,
198, 200, 201, 217, 218, 220,
222, 223, 227, 237, 238, 239,
241, 247, 249, 250, 254, 255,
257, 259, 272, 273, 276, 308,
312, 313, 314, 319, 321, 326,
329, 334, 336, 348, 351, 355,
365, 373, 383, 384, 387, 391,
394, 398. 399, 400, 418, 421,
436, 446, 450, 477, 478: acts of,
319, 441; intense acts of, 370;
actual, 407; as an arrow, wounds
Him, 252; cannot be hidden,
193; death from, 111, 252, 467;
default of, 54; has degrees, 193,
229; effects of acts of, 319; see
also Enkindling; heals, 96; im-
pulse of , 19, 111, 251, 255, 274,
367, 369, 387, 422, 440, 441;
intensity of , 423; longing of , 19;
madness of, 221, 244; manifes-
tations of, 116; is the measure
of our suffering, 162; need for
genuine, 64; and of others, 447;
is love of the neighbor, 63; in-
volves one in Scripture, 210,
221; sick with, 193; most
tender, 407, 440; words of , 116;
see also Wound of love
Love of Neighbor 28, 29, 35, 56,
58, 63, 64, 65, 67, 115, 165,
200, 255, 258, 274, 285, 347,
351, 353, 460, 479: for all in
general, 462; beneficial, 67;
cannot be hidden, 477; for con-
fessors, 460; of creatures, 194;
deficiency in, 352; disordered,
57; earthly only, 65; must be
equal, 55, 67; falling in, 491;
imperfect, 69; impossible to
love one who does not love God,
64; make others love you, 199;
love between man and woman,
477; mutual among nuns, 296;
having none, 350; of one another,
79, 180, 211, 357; passion affec-
ting, 459; see also Passions;
perfect, 462; for persecutors, 362,
439; see also Relatives; repaying,
63, 64; sensual, 29, 56, 62; shown
in deeds, 70; sinful, 66; sisterly,
27, 54, 71; spiritual, 29, 56, 62,
66, 67, 459, 460, 462; spiritual
mixed with sensual, 56, 62, 459,
462; love united with love, 354; of
the world, 477
Luke, St. 487
Lukewarmness 201, 231
Lutherans 19, 20, 41, 452
Madness, blessed 396
Madrid 264: monastery of nuns in,
19
Maldonado, Fr. Alonso, O.F.M. 17
Malice 89, 223: of the world, 385
Malicious talk 85
Mancio de Corpus Christi, O.P. 21,
25
Manner of life, new 28
Manners 123, 139, 286: see also
Custom; Etiquette; Honor;
Social Relations
Mansions 484; see Dwelling Places
Margaret Mary Alacoque, St. 20
Maria del Nacimiento 267
Maria de San Jose (Salazar) 265,
279
Marriage 354, 491: arranged, 491;
consummated, 497; see also
Figures of speech; Persons;
Sacraments; Social Relations;
Spiritual Marriage
Martha, St. 100, 101, 155, 257, 431,
448
Martin of Tours, St. 108, 393, 494
Martyrdom 44, 52, 82, 362, 398
Martyrs 258, 356, 384
Mary of Bethany 155, 257, 431,
448, 465
Mary Magdalene, St. 93, 100, 136,
171, 193, 285, 398, 426, 448, 449,
465
528
Index
Mary, the Mother of God 19, 31,
37, 38, 50, 52, 86, 94, 136, 144,
210, 211, 241, 248, 253, 293, 305,
399, 403, 404, 408, 445, 458, 473:
the carpenter's wife, 25; her
merits, 50
Masters 226: spiritual, 117; we are
to love, be proud of and not forget
spiritual, 129, 314
Maundy Thursday 218, 478
Medicine for body 171: see also
Body; Health
Meditations on the Song of Songs
(Teresa's book) 211, 212, 499
Meditation 31, 32, 106, 115, 217,
248, 317, 318, 319, 323, 326, 328,
331, 342, 345, 399, 401: basis for
acquiring virtues, 94; day and
night, 468; inability for, 400;
method for, 402; reading with,
99; see also PRAYER
Meeting with the Spouse 355, 359,
390, 491, 492, 494
Melancholy 129, 255, 307, 320,
363, 368, 369, 371, 406: see also
Teresa, reflections related to
psychology
Memory 154, 231, 252, 299, 373,
377, 379, 380, 382, 390, 398, 401,
402, 411, 440, 471: see also
TERESA, memory
Men 23, 48, 50, 51, 54, 216, 373:
blind, 285, cured with mud, 383;
covetous, rich, 225; fearful, 339; a
gentleman, 226; half-learned,
339, 340; learned, 20, 21, 38, 40,
42, 49, 50, 57, 59, 123, 128, 209,
210, 219, 220, 253, 266, 282, 286,
290, 319, 338, 339, 372, 375, 409,
415, 452, 461, 488, 492; must be
as angels, 49; rich young, 271,
307, 308, 487; at pool, 287;
Teresa criticizes, 210; the Lord
will make women so strong
— will be astonished, 70; see also
Persons; Sons of God
Mendicants 26
Mendoza, Bishop Don Alvaro de
61, 459
Mental prayer see Prayer
Mercy 48, 72, 96, 114, 146, 165,
174, 178, 180, 189, 190, 194, 215,
230, 231, 241, 243, 246, 249, 285,
287, 293, 298, 302, 303, 304, 310,
314, 323, 328, 335, 345, 355, 356,
358, 364, 365, 377, 383, 388, 393,
395, 419, 424, 427, 429, 432, 443,
445, 452: see also Christ; God
Merit 244, 251, 253, 311, 317, 334,
343, 344, 348, 351, 358, 390, 407,
410, 417, 429, 450, 460: oppor-
tunity to, 251
Messiah, Baptizer is not the 227
Method see also Meditation; Prayer
Method for the Visitation of Mon-
asteries (Teresa's book) 485
Mind 121, 130, 133, 140, 190, 310,
311, 319, 320, 329, 330, 338, 352,
375, 376, 378, 389, 404, 413, 414,
440, 477, 488: absurdities make
restless, 99; cleverness of, 323; los-
ing one's, 366; only God can hold
the, 319; Teresa's synonym for in-
tellect, 158; wandering of, 488;
see also Intellect
Miracles 172, 401, 425: miraculous
cure, 480
Misery (misfortune) 190, 217, 223,
240, 246, 250, 291, 292, 304, 309,
313, 321, 332, 346, 364, 365, 379,
383, 388, 398, 399, 420, 428, 443,
448
Mistakes 38, 191, 309, 315, 325,
329, 338, 341, 397, 399, 404
Misunderstandings 264, 274
Mitigation 80
Moderation 80, 460
Monasteries 38, 40, 59, 72, 78, 80,
82, 83, 86, 87, 89, 105, 178, 179,
212, 215, 224, 228, 233, 234, 263,
265, 278, 279, 282, 334, 396, 446,
451, 461, 463, 474, 481: entrance
into — a solution to social pro-
blem, 464; government of, 461;
Index
529
poverty in building, 27; see also
Alba; Avila; Madrid; Salaman-
ca; Segovia; Toledo; Valladolid
Monastery of the Incarnation,
Avila 19, 26, 265, 456, 457, 458,
462, 496: rooms bought and sold
in, 27
Monastery of St. Joseph, Avila 15,
18, 20, 38, 39, 41, 43, 56, 108,
265, 452, 457, 458, 462, 466:
observance in, 41, 50
Money 27, 42, 44, 45, 46, 51, 90,
225, 463, 476: for administration,
476; see also Income
Monica, St. 67
Moors 237, 238, 345
Moradas 484
Mortification 30, 77, 82, 88, 93,
100, 101, 105, 112, 201, 224, 234,
235, 334, 343, 410, 449, 464:
public, 463
Moses and the burning bush 381
Motto of Carmelite order 499
Mount Calvary 141
Mount Carmel 26, 336
Movement of the soul 389, 440:
first, 444; impetuous, 386; see also
Happiness; Love; Impulse
Music 442; see also Figures of speech
Mysteries 118, 207, 217, 219, 260,
270, 275, 276, 277, 381, 399, 402,
403: of the Passion, 400; a thou-
sand in one word of Scripture, 210
Mystical: elements of spiritual life,
268; experiences, 15, 210, 211,
213, need to be explained, 215;
graces, 493; phenomena, 274;
pseudo-mystical, 275; sense of
Scripture, 211; understanding
the, 484; see also Prayer, Super-
natural
Mysticism: in Spain, 22; phenome-
na accessory to, 22
Mystics, false 22
Natural graces 55
Necessity made a virtue 161, 351,
386
Need(s) 44, 69, 79, 80, 81, 169, 183,
187, 198, 312: of the neighbor,
259; having — of no one, 45
Neighbor: charity to, 251; helping
one's, 235; see also LOVE, of
neighbor
Nineveh 374
Noah 443
Nobility 122, 139, 449, 458
Noise: poverty makes no, 47; in
soul, 330
Nonsense 86, 96
Nothingness 420
Nourishment: of body, 171; of soul,
169; see also Eating; Food; Sacra-
ment
Nuncio see Papal
Nuns 15, 18, 19, 27, 28, 30, 37, 42,
50, 73, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 85, 86,
87, 89, 108, 116, 130, 212, 215,
279, 458, 461, 462, 463, 470, 472,
499: discontented, 88; elderly,
466, 471; taken to be hypocrite,
116; as synonym for obedience,
105; unsophisticated, 116; who
cannot follow Rule, 463; see also
TERESA and Nuns
Obedience 16, 39, 60, 61, 69, 105,
173, 175, 179, 190, 215, 260, 264,
266, 268, 281, 282, 283, 313, 314,
334, 343, 347, 348, 392, 415
Obligation: going against, 224; of
state in life, 438; of the worldly,
49; regarding locutions, 375; TO:
account for riches, 226; avoid
displeasing God, 387; be attentive
in prayer, 130; to believe, 381;
confess is felt, 460; give good ex-
ample, 165; pray, 469; pray for
benefactors, 47; pray for Church,
52, 53; serve God, 186, 227, 250,
258, 387, 408, 417, 436; serve the
neighbor, 449; share goods, 226;
speak of God, 116; suffer, 250
Observance 28, 37, 46, 53, 78, 80,
91, 166, 179, 225, 295, 412; 419;
530
Index
see also Monastery of St. Joseph,
Avila
Obstacles see Peace; Perseverance;
PRAYER; Progress
Occasions see Sin
Occupation 48, 126, 147, 174, 224,
331, 430, 432: in God, 384; for
benefit of others, 440
Offending: Christ, 134; God, 138,
197, 198, 201, 223, 231, 232, 306,
307, 315, 319, 326, 332, 344, 345,
346, 347, 350, 358, 362, 364, 387,
390, 391, 392, 398, 426, 436, 439,
445, 473; by abominations, 134
Offering 33: self to God, 446; see
also PRAYER Forms
Opinion of crowd 121
Order of Our Lady 28, 37, 46, 53,
61, 78, 179, 306, 459, 499: see also
Carmelite Fathers; Nuns
Orientation 484
Ormaneto, Nicolas 265
Orthodoxy 21
Osma 483
Osuna, Fray Francisco de, Fran-
ciscan 23, 484, 489
Our Father, the 25, 31, 32, 33, 34,
35, 118, 120, 121, 128, 129, 130,
131, 132, 137, 148, 149, 150, 152,
154, 158, 159, 161, 162, 185, 191,
192, 203, 204, 263, 468, 473:
Castilian version of, 472
Pain 31, 112, 275, 344, 345, 346,
347, 361, 362, 367, 370, 385, 389,
391, 397, 398, 422, 423, 426, 436,
437, 438: delightful, 395; dura-
tion of, 423, 425; loving, 368;
precious, 424; rapture remedies,
425; reaches depths of soul, 368;
relieved by Sacrament, 171;
spiritual, 421, 424; when there is
no suspension, 321; sweet, 111,
189, 367; undeserved, 424; see
also Suffering
Painting of the Lord 415; see also
Images
Palm Sunday 227
Palmetto 291
Papal Nuncio 265; see also Holy
See
Pardon 36, 379, 398, 424
Parents, be good to 74
Particular fondness for friend 56
Passage of the Lord: to center of
soul 341; Risen Christ from the
tomb, 341
Passions 55, 57, 65, 311, 318, 322,
323, 349, 393, 437: see also
LOVE, affected by passion
Passive element of spiritual life 268
Passive quiet 33: see also PRAYER;
Quiet
Path to God, not all are on same
99, 224
Patience 80, 130, 188, 230, 251,
287, 290, 321, 322, 332, 362: of a
loved one, 66
Paul, St. 112, 193, 201, 212, 245,
248, 276, 277, 285, 308, 434, 441,
487, 495, 497: conversion, 430;
hurled to ground, 413; working
day and night for livelihood, 445
Paulinus of Nola, St. 480
Peace 28, 31, 54, 55, 58, 59, 70, 73,
116, 119, 151, 153, 154, 155, 189,
193, 195, 214, 216, 221, 222, 224,
225, 228, 229, 232, 236, 238, 240,
241, 250, 271, 273, 296, 299, 302,
308, 324, 330, 338, 345, 373, 374,
377, 390, 393, 394, 395, 406, 408,
413, 436, 437, 439, 443, 463, 487:
in comfort, 228; dangerous, 225,
228; false, 214, 222, 227; obstacles
to, 322; practices to possess, 28;
from sensuality, 225; from the
world, 225, 236
Peasant 475
Penances 30, 65, 78, 91, 139, 180,
195, 228, 236, 295, 305, 306, 311,
330, 332, 333, 343, 344, 347, 384,
429, 436, 437, 448, 470, 480: ex-
cessive, 190; frenzy for, 463; in-
discreet, 111; see also Persons;
Sacraments
Index
531
Pensamiento 488
Perception 165, 430, 431
Perfect: love 54, 55; souls, 63; seek
that which is, 50, 59, 86
Perfection 48, 58, 60, 61, 62, 63,
67, 68, 74, 83, 85, 88, 90, 99, 100,
105, 115, 146, 151, 179, 182, 183,
184, 185, 190, 191, 224, 234, 239,
301, 313, 350, 351, 403, 417, 431,
460, 463, 469: killed, 84; Lord
continues process of, 115; less im-
portant than following the Lord,
464; true — consists in love of God
and neighbor, 295; vitiated, 58
Permissions 220, 295: used as ex-
cuse, 78
Persecution 91, 162, 163, 169, 177,
185, 240, 251, 257, 259, 315, 362,
391, 410, 426, 439, 498
Persecutors: love and recom-
mend—to God, 439
Perseverance 103, 117, 127, 222,
271, 304, 308, 332, 450: devil
causes obstacles to, 127; one
always gains much through, 298
Persistence in small faults 222
Persons (people): dignity of, 230;
elderly, 99, 466, 471; impatient,
130; learned, 57, 60, 61; married,
30, 80, 86, 124, 134, 156, 329,
354; penitential, 234; of prayer,
82, 311, 333, 388; religious, 82,
the holier they are, the more
sociable, 199; rich, 165, 226, 365;
sick, 371; spiritual,. 39, 60, 73,
159, 379, 409, 461; unlearned,
208, 352; of the village, 258;
worldly, 222; worth of, 123; see
also Children; Daughters and
Sons of God; Men; Woman
Pestilence see Figures of speech;
Friend; Honor; Rank; Virtue
Peter of Alcantara, St. 239, 329,
396, 489, 494
Peter, St. 139, 154, 308, 398, 498:
legend about, 445; threw himself
into sea, 235
Petition (supplication) 33, 34, 42,
50, 51, 52, 130, 151, 159, 160,
183, 184, 186, 222, 229, 237, 243,
251, 257, 317; see also Prayer,
Forms
Petronila Bautista 467
Pets 27
Pharisee 93, 172, 372
Philip II 24, 458
Philosophy 108, 351
Physical Phenomena see Body;
Consolations
Piacenza 265
Piezas 484
Pilate 420
Pilgrims 19
Pity: from others 47; false, 85
Pleasing: creatures, 92; people, 257;
see also GOD; Rulers; Self
Pleasure 65, 75, 232, 234, 244
Pledge of betrothal 359
Pondering of the Lord's law 459
Poor 27, 46, 47, 80, 225, 226, 227,
310, 464, 476; see also Poverty
Portugal 265
Possessions 55, 234, 308, 310, 385:
of a soul that loves God, 217
Poverty 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 60, 166,
200, 225, 226, 349, 458, 475: of
spirit, 27, 30, 45, 187, 188, 388,
476; natural — of the soul, 382; see
also St. Clare; Fathers of order;
Income; Silence; Thought
Power (dominion): of the poor in
spirit 45; of a word from God,
373, 406
Practices: for peace, 28; of prayer,
306; of virtue, 314, 357; see also
Penances
Praise of God 33, 59, 62, 70, 71, 72,
99, 122, 123, 124, 150, 151, 152,
153, 158, 159, 161, 183, 194, 195,
198, 204, 218, 225, 226, 227, 228,
233, 236, 244, 249, 260, 270, 272,
275, 282, 284, 285, 290, 305, 314,
319, 327, 329, 334, 337, 339, 341,
532
Index
344, 358, 361, 364, 370, 373, 374,
376, 381, 384, 385, 392, 395, 396,
404, 405, 408, 410, 418, 426, 428,
439, 440, 441, 443, 444, 445, 448,
450, 469, 477: prayer of, 396
Praise: of others, 352, 361; of us,
becomes a trial, 274
PRAYER 31, 35, 39, 42, 48, 52,
53, 58, 59, 60, 63, 65, 68, 73, 83,
98, 99, 100, 104, 106, 109, 110,
113, 115, 116, 118, 119, 120, 121,
122, 126, 129, 130, 131, 132, 135,
137, 138, 160, 170, 173, 180, 183,
185, 186, 190, 191, 193, 202, 203,
214, 215, 220, 223, 224, 225, 229,
230, 232, 236, 243, 248, 253, 259,
270, 271, 278, 281, 282, 291, 292,
297, 298, 301, 303, 318, 321, 324,
330, 331, 334, 335, 336, 343, 345,
349, 352, 357, 359, 366, 371, 377,
379, 384, 394, 401, 402, 404, 406,
418, 429, 436, 439, 440, 446, 447,
448, 449, 459, 460, 461, 462, 465,
466, 468, 472, 474, 475, 487, 492:
Conditions related to Prayer:
abandoning, 320, 321; absence
from, 334; account of, 414;
answered, 49; asked, 391;
beginning of , 106, 118; degrees
of, 442; devil causes terror of,
194; end of, 106, 118; founda-
tion for, 28, 35, 60, 93, 149,
183; habit of, 136; helps to, 46;
hours of, 103, 466; impedi-
ments to, 163, 164, 174, 294,
301, 383, 418; inducing, 329;
manner of, 148; means of, 118;
method of, 31, 32, 33, 106, 133,
141, 143, 147, 148, 149, 271;
objections to, 118; obstacles to,
321; persistent, 150; private,
189; reading for and with, 103,
118; return to, 332; sharing —
between friends, 25; no need to
shout, 130; skill in, 118; sponta-
neity, 33; testing, 325; unceas-
ing, 28, 53, 121, 306; what not
to pray .for, 43; withdrawal
from, 332; teaching prayer to
others, 348
Contemplative, 15, 22, 33, 101,
122, 128, 132, 183, 272, 273:
impossible to remain always in,
400; infused, 268, 272, 273;
value of, 273; see also Con-
templation; Contemplatives
Effects of Prayer: apostolic efficacy
of, 26; most profit for neighbor,
450; progress in variety of ways,
223; value of, 325
Forms of Prayer: adoration, 33,
381; see also Grandeurs of
God; colloquy with God, 103;
liturgical, 24; of offering, 33;
petition, 33; for own soul, 50;
for those who receive favors,
194; praise, 33, 396; thanksgiv-
ing, 33; see also Petition;
Praise of God
Mental, 24, 25, 94, 97, 101, 103,
119, 121, 122, 123, 125, 128,
130, 131, 132, 147, 152, 183,
286, 466, 468, 469: practice of,
95
Mystical, 34, 267, 272, 470, 484,
487, 490; see also Mystical
Natural Prayer, 273: acquired,
273; active, 273; discursive,
467; see also Acquire; Active
life; Discursive
Passive, 15, 272, 273
Quiet, of, 18, 33, 36, 141, 151,
152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157,
158, 159, 183, 214, 243, 273,
331, 333, 353, 367, 374, 379,
382, 403, 474, 480: spiritual
sleep, 333; see also Quiet mind
Recollection, of, 18, 32, 33, 34,
36, 141, 147, 174, 175, 331,
489: infused, 488, 489; struggle
for, 148; see also Recollection
Index
533
Supernatural Prayer, 132, 153,
155, 158, 182, 252, 268, 272,
273, 290, 349, 396, 474, 484,
487
Union, of, 34, 152, 153, 157, 182,
183, 214, 255, 273, 276, 337,
339, 343, 354, 355, 356, 382,
429, 441, 491, 492: proof of ge-
nuine, 336; see also Union
Vocal, 16, 22, 23, 24, 25, 32, 33,
99, 101, 103, 119, 121, 122,
123, 125, 128, 129, 130, 131,
132, 133, 136, 139, 141, 147,
151, 152, 158, 159, 203, 232,
286, 334, 365, 370, 466, 472:
Mass and— are enough, 24;
obliging oneself to, 159
Waters (prayer), 326, 327: fourth,
488
See also Apostolate; Books; Heart;
Persons; Progress; TERESA;
Torment; Woman
Preachers 22, 42, 48, 49, 92, 211,
218, 449
Predictions 373
Prelates 52; see also Bishop;
Superior
Preparation to receive God's gifts
308, 310, 313, 326, 341, 410
Presence to God 32, 33, 147; see also
CHRIST; GOD
Presumption 98
Pride 100, 333, 352
Priests 20, 176, 473; see also Con-
fessors; Preachers
Prioress 56, 83, 84, 128, 179, 190,
295, 334, 371, 403, 451, 458, 461,
462, 474: admonishing one's, 44,
296; advice to, 70; and confessor,
58, 59; to be discreet, 410; to en-
courage one's, 90; the — should
give freedom, 57, 60, 67, 409; if
— seems to be harsh, 69; problems
of being, 78; see also Teresa as
Prioress; Nuns.
Prison cell 71
Privileges 83
Prodigal son 138, 300, 395
Progress in spiritual life 84, 87, 88,
105, 115, 181, 243, 371, 447, 470:
falters, 235; of the house, 61; of a
loved one, 65; in three months,
255; obstacles to, 223; principle
for making, 460; in the young,
255
Promises: making, 161, 475; to
God, 446; nothing but, 472; see
also Deeds; Words
Properties: of things, 108; of water,
109
Prophet, false 203
Protection of the Lord 248, 385
Protestantism 20, 24
Providence 170, 187, 226, 260
Provinces of the order 265
Provincials 59, 461
Prudence 234, 356, 460
Psalmist 109
Psalms 217, 318, 420
Pseudo-mystical phenomena 275
Psychology perceived by Teresa see
TERESA
Publican, the 156, 443, 471
Punishment 69, 71, 150, 180, 231,
470
Purgatory 50, 195, 276, 398, 423,
424, 452
Purification 276, 424: of soul, 379
Purpose of amendment 232
Purpose of Teresian Carmelite call
35, 52, 83, 335
Pusillanimity 235, 238
Quiet 271, 321, 323, 324, 333, 369,
373, 393, 441, 471, 477, 488, 489:
enjoyed at pleasure, 431; false,
222, 223; see also Prayer of Quiet
Quiet mind 190
Rank: in Carmelite communities,
27, 84, 139, 179: concern about
— is a pestilence, 83
534
Index
Rapture(s) 104, 111, 164, 275, 276,
333, 379, 382, 385, 391, 412, 429,
440, 442, 467, 490, 494: duration
of, 389; feigned, 385; kinds of,
379; quick, 388; resistance to,
386; fearful speed of, 386;
superabundant knowledge gained
in, 389; true, 385
Rationality 210, 253
Readiness to love 64, 149; see also
LOVE
Reading 322, 342, 392; see also
Books; Meditation; PRAYER
Reason 110, 112, 216, 309, 312:
faculty of, 423
Recollection 46, 61, 118, 128, 130,
133, 135, 136, 140, 141, 142, 143,
144, 147, 148, 149, 171, 215, 271,
273, 302, 306, 320, 328, 329, 331,
373, 374: interior, 470; super-
natural, 327; not supernatural,
147; see also PRAYER, of
Recollection
Recreation 46, 56, 65, 69, 73, 101
Redaction of Teresa's writings 458,
459, 461, 462, 463, 465, 468, 469,
470, 472, 473, 475, 477, 478, 489
Reflection 83, 92, 128, 130, 133,
134, 150, 230, 249, 253, 272, 286,
364, 402, 403, 413, 420, 464; see
also Discursive
Reform of Carmelite life 265
Regret, painful 345
Relatives 27, 57, 73, 74, 75, 76, 79,
89, 116, 136, 344, 463: friendship
among, 55, 115; love for, 255
Relationships to others, to self and
to world 29; see also Friendship;
LOVE
Religious life 46, 48, 49, 59, 61, 83,
87, 97, 119, 161, 163, 165, 235,
236, 350, 351, 412, 476: entrance
into — an answer to social prob-
lem, 27
new members: acceptance, 88; in-
formation on, 89; intelligence
needed in, 88, 89, 462; im-
pediments to entering, 83; pro-
bation of, 89
professed: 224, 463, 472; admis-
sion to profession, 89; delay of,
464
dismissal from, 89
Religious orders 48, 55, 59, 314,
410, 459, 463
Reliquary for the book Interior
Castle 279
Remedies for evil or temptation 39,
56, 57, 58, 68, 71, 106, 191, 201,
218, 228, 231, 259, 300, 303, 342,
364, 365, 378, 392
Remembrance: habitual — of God,
406, 416: of sins, 363
Remorse for faults 225
Rent 475
Renunciation 74, 97, 142, 308
Repaying see God; LOVE
Repentance 230, 232
Reputation 233; see also Honor
Resentment 419
Resignation 330, 349: see also Con-
formity; GOD; Will
Resistance 353: to favor impossible,
425, 426
Resolutions 41, 125, 177, 188, 200,
232, 235, 240, 441, 444, 446
Respect 397
Response, interior, 441
Rest (repose) 82, 106, 111, 170, 181,
226, 227, 237, 248, 249, 250, 302,
321, 331, 344, 345, 354, 390, 391,
421, 438, 442, 445, 446, 447; see
also Ease
Restlessness 107, 377
Restraint 331; see also Constraint
Restrictions 59
Resurrection of Christ 278; see also
CHRIST
Revelation (s) 19, 20, 22, 276:
divine, 20, 21; of the glory in
heaven, 434
Revenue, fixed 476; see also In-
come
Reward 137, 146, 150, 230, 246,
Index
535
258, 308, 313, 330, 343, 350, 358,
450
Ribera, Francisco de, S.J. 279, 486
Riches 65, 162, 192, 214, 225, 234;
see also Persons
Ridicule 360
Rights 85, 86, 353, 356; see also
Wrongs
Rituals 24
Rodriguez, Jose Vicente 279
Roman Catholic Church 21, 38,
282; see also Church; TERESA
Rome 264, 279
Room(s) 484: of self-knowledge,
291, 292; where disciples were,
341; see also Castle Imagery;
Cells; Dwelling Places;
Monastery of the Incarnation,
Avila
Roots: of faults, 230: of the soul, 437
Rosary 123
Rule of the Carmelite order 24, 26,
28, 37, 38, 50, 53, 56, 69, 78, 121,
215, 225, 295, 296, 315, 394, 459,
487
Rulers 45; see also Figures of
Speech; Kings; Lords
Rules 223: of discernment on favors,
275
Sacraments 21, 42, 176, 356:
Eucharist 20, 36, 51, 70, 120, 168,
169, 170, 172, 173, 174, 175,
176, 189, 232, 241, 246, 267,
340, 404, 477: Jesus is ours
in — since Father has given Him,
167; as medicine, 171; true
Presence in the, 171; routine
reception of, 241; Spiritual
Communion, 174
Matrimony 354
Penance (Confession) 57, 70,
230, 231, 342, 409, 461
Sacramentals: crucifix, 388, 415;
holy water, 231; portrait of our
Emperor, 415; sign of the cross,
133; see also Images
Sacrifice 400: interior and exterior,
450
Sadness 33, 134
Saint(s) 19, 44, 52, 75, 98, 100, 119,
129, 136, 146, 177, 201, 219, 227,
228, 235, 238, 248, 275, 293, 305,
307, 329, 344, 389, 396, 399, 403,
408, 412, 447, 448, 449, 467, 473:
does not speak but is companion,
408; glory of the, 439; is necessary
to speak to, think about and
become companions of, 399; those
who are — in own opinion cause
more fear than do sinners, 233;
fortitude of saintly girls, 238
Salamanca 467: edition of the Way
of Perfection, 35; monastery of
nuns, 19, 481, 496
Salvation 304, 436, 448, 486
Samaritan woman 107, 258, 424
Sanctity 200: of recipients of favors
not greater than of those who do
not receive them, 285
Santiago de Compostela 483
Satan see Devil
Satisfaction 63, 110, 151, 154, 155,
157, 189, 232, 246, 257, 258, 259,
338, 367, 369, 418, 421, 426, 487:
from tears, 243
Saul, King 417: goes astray, 348
Savor of soul (differs from that of
spirit) 432
Scandal 91, 166
Scholastics 23
Sciences see TERESA: Reflections
Scripture 20, 21, 118, 208, 209, 215,
216, 218, 443, 445, 467: accom-
modated, literal and mystical
sense of, 211; love and, 210; maj-
esty of words of, 221; publication,
reading of —in Spain, 208; see also
Gospels
Scruples 99, 224, 460
Seclusion see Enclosure
Secrets 34, 159, 164, 242, 253, 275,
314, 324, 329, 337, 338, 355, 367,
375, 380, 381, 382, 384, 410, 418,
536
Index
419, 427, 432, 435, 442: bene-
ficial, 323
Secular arm 22, 47, 48; see also Ec-
clesiastical arm; Force of arms
Security 83, 88, 100, 106, 184, 191,
192, 200, 218, 227, 228, 235, 236,
299, 306, 348, 356, 363, 369, 391,
398, 436, 445, 464, 486: of cons-
cience is never certain, 304, 305;
false, 76; in love of God, 195
Seeing see Eyes
Sega, Felipe 265
Segovia 278
Self: advantage to, 69; asleep to,
336; assurance, 190; concern, 82;
confidence, 198, 409; control,
148; deception, 201, 475; denial,
83, 93; detachment, 93;
discipline, 30; distrust of , 21, 189,
241, 357; dominion over, 81;
enter into, 286, 470; esteem, 31,
179, 181, 350, 408; excuse of, 90,
93; faculties employed with, 292;
fearful of, 443; forgetfulness of,
100, 157, 179, 181, 245, 247, 258,
330, 377, 378, 396, 438, 448, 476,
498; giving, 163; indulgence, 79,
195; interest, 66, 119, 161, 233,
257, 259, 326; knowledge, 184,
190, 270, 275, 284, 287, 291, 293,
294, 309, 310, 314, 348, 388, 390,
416, 421, 477; love, 79, 246, 255,
343, 350, 356, 357; pleasing, 82;
rise above, 470; satisfaction, 82,
88; surrender, 163; thinking of,
290, 291; treasure hidden in, 336;
understanding, 293, 320, 322;
will, 343
Selfish intentions 239
Seniority 83, 179
Senses 164, 171, 221, 252, 275, 327,
333, 336, 340, 349, 355, 367, 368,
370, 379, 383, 384, 386, 389, 390,
395, 406, 413, 418, 433, 437, 441:
exterior and interior, 142, 147,
153; are dead, 380; duration of
loss of 425; enrapturing of, 422;
obey the soul, 143; are put to
sleep, 374; surrender to soul, 143;
use the — for sake of the inner life,
148; withdrawal of, 142; see also
Ears; Eyes; Figures of Speech:
fragrance; Taste
Sensitivity 68, 93
Sensuality 116, 245, 251, 259, 318,
459, 460
Separation from God 288
Sermons 92, 216, 217, 218, 257,
271, 342, 442; see also Preachers
Servants: should have attitude of,
170, 303; and slaves in monaster-
ies, 27; not greater than Master,
303; useless -of the Gospel, 308
SERVING:
Christ and the Church, 22; see
also CHRIST, Church
God, 53, 82, 84, 98, 100, 101,
103, 112, 120, 129, 131, 155,
159, 160, 163, 164, 170, 181,
186, 187, 189, 197, 198, 201,
204, 222, 226, 236, 238, 246,
247, 248, 251, 256, 257, 258,
259, 275, 303, 305, 307, 311,
312, 314, 326, 332, 339, 341,
348, 356, 358, 369, 371, 373,
384, 387, 390, 397, 402, 407,
408, 410, 417, 424, 430, 436,
439, 443, 444, 446, 450, 460,
463, 464, 475, 498; hindrance
to, 464; motive for, 413; in
possible things, 449
Neighbor, 99, 103, 104, 109, 257,
498; acts of service of, 277;
obligation of, 449, 450; one's
Sisters, 450; being slaves to
others, 447; those who are
good, 450; the sick, 101
Seville, Carmelites of 279, 499
Shadow of the Divinity 249
Shame 63, 385
Sharing wealth 225
Shepherds 123; see also Figures of
speech
Sickness see Health; Persons
Index
537
Sighs, anxious 422
Signs 158, 188, 229, 237: against
error, 338, 339; that favors are
from God, 202, 409, 446; of
growth in grace, 192, 193, 196,
358; of authentic locutions,
371-377; of loving truly, 351;
regarding rapture, 385; of vision
from devil, 414
Silence 27, 33, 34, 53, 56, 78, 82,
91, 296, 315, 329, 395, 442: when
falsely accused, 465; as poverty of
words, 27, 46
Silverio de Santa Teresa, Fr.,
O.C.D. 35
Simeon 153
Simple people are not to read Scrip-
ture 221
Simplicity 89, 165, 216, 339
Sin 59, 83, 84, 86, 92, 94, 189, 191,
197, 201, 221, 223, 224, 225, 227,
230, 231, 233, 239, 240, 243, 259,
269, 271, 288, 305, 306, 307, 318,
321, 361, 363, 365, 377, 388, 392,
397, 398, 414, 429, 443, 444, 465,
475, 476, 477: advertence in, 197,
444; consequences of, 488; and
contemplation, 18; deliberate,
197; disorder of original, 488; no
immunity from, 444; is an
obstacle to understanding Scrip-
ture, 210; occasions of, 48, 55, 77,
142, 143, 190, 196, 198, 223, 232,
288, 315, 332, 333, 342, 355, 498;
weeping over, 232
Sinners 136, 175, 194, 201, 233,
388, 419, 477
Slave(s): attitude of— compared to
that of Jesus, 168; being — to
others, 447; the cross is the brand
of God's, 446; of the devil, 99; of
God, 446; in the monastery of the
Incarnation, Avila, 27; the rich
are, 226
Sleep (sleeping) 321, 333, 334, 375,
438: of soul, 244, 245, 336
Sobbing 322
Social Relations described by
Teresa 123, 125, 134, 139, 145,
149, 165, 178, 226, 240, 257, 286,
355, 381, 412, 458, 464, 491
Society of Jesus see Jesuits
Solace 313; see also Comfort; Con-
solation
Soldiers, who knelt to drink 300;
see also Figures of speech
Solitude 26, 27, 56, 81, 129, 130,
140, 146, 156, 233, 327, 334, 336,
344, 359, 365, 423, 440, 442, 446:
relief in, 391
Solomon 209, 213, 215, 306, 442,
445: noiseless building of his tem-
ple, 441-2
Sons of God 227, 465, 474; see also
Children and Daughters of God
Song of Songs, 207 passim to 260;
321, 340, 401; see also Bride;
Scripture; Biblical Index
Sophistication 116
Sorrow 112, 154, 224, 241, 353
Soto, Domingo 24
Soul (used throughout book, prin-
cipal themes given here): is in
command of God, 164; depth of,
349; is different from spirit, 432;
dignity of, 284; distinction
of— from spirit, 435; fixed state is
unsafe, 317; functions differ from
those of spirit, 432; imperfect, 18;
improvement, 390, 431; inform-
ed, 355; instructed, 343, 413; in-
terior part, 370; joined with God,
497; liberty of, 446; made to Gods
image and likeness, 270, 284;
noise in, 330; is not something
dark, 428; pain in depth of, 368;
passion, 349; see also Passions;
profit of, 237; spacious, 291; and
spirit, 434, 437; stability of, 444;
stinginess of, 163; first stirring,
363; stirring, 436; strength over
body, 142; see also Strength; sun
in interior of, 435; superior part
of, 320, 321, 370, 429; type of,
538
Index
297; value of, 284; wealth of, 164;
see also Affliction; Annihilation;
Blindness; Spirit
Sound, of Lord's greeting 435; see
also Ears
Spain: in Teresa's time, 20, 24, 208,
264, 279, 410; mysticism in, 22;
political situation of, 19
Spanish language 209, 475
Speech 271, 306, 384
Spirit: from God, 374; other than
from God, 363; human, 240;
freedom of, 29, 74; made one with
God, 497; and soul, 389, 432, 433;
work of, 329; see also Soul
SPIRITUAL {used throughout
book, principal themes are given
here):
Betrothal (espousal) 275, 277, 354,
355, 356, 358, 359, 379, 382,
390, 421, 433, 434: preparation
for, 274, 491
Communion 174
Delights 317; see also Delight
Depths 270; see Soul
Life 270, 271, 488: tested in, 371
Man 289
Marriage 277, 278, 354, 428,
429, 432, 433, 434, 446, 480,
498: fruit of, 278; is more than
union, 434; union of, 354
Sleep 333, 374
Things 367
Vision 434
Ways 270
Writers 211
see also Love; Persons; Union
Spirituality 30, 61, 89: true, 446;
types and variations of, 270
Spiritual Testimonies (Teresa s book)
455, 473, 479, 481, 484, 489, 490,
492, 493, 494, 495, 496, 497, 498
Stability 151: instability, 127
State of Life 224: obligations of, 438
Stewards 226: of the Lord, 225
Stillness 346
Strength of soul 40, 68, 76, 91, 105,
107, 108, 142, 154, 162, 164, 165,
185, 246, 251, 254, 259, 260, 278,
293, 334, 336, 344, 355, 362, 425,
426, 437, 443, 447: comes from
humility, 241; of love in the soul,
384; of body and soul to serve,
448; see also Soul
Strife 193
Struggle(s) 127, 148, 185, 271
Stupidity 284
Submission to others 234; see also
TERESA to Church
Subterfuge 166
Suffering 20, 30, 50, 54, 68, 80, 86,
104, 112, 130, 131, 136, 161, 175,
177, 181, 188, 189, 195, 201, 225,
235, 238, 241, 246, 251, 259, 274,
276, 301, 309, 311, 315, 322, 326,
333, 344, 349, 350, 352, 358, 360,
362, 364, 365, 369, 372, 373, 374,
378, 379, 384, 391, 393, 394, 397,
398, 399, 402, 403, 407, 417, 418,
419, 421, 426, 428, 431, 437, 439,
445, 448, 498: of body versus that
of soul, 423, 424; capacity for,
161, 162; earthly, 422; habitual,
394; interior, 366; of loved one,
66, 68
Sullenness 352
Supernatural experiences 316, 324,
334, 382, 402; see also Experi-
ences; PRAYER
Superior 44, 61, 105, 161, 223, 296:
leads strong and weak in same
way, 161; see also Bishop;
Prioress
Supplication see Petition
Surprise at experience of God's acts
and love, 219, 221, 309, 339, 344,
410, 439
Surrender 82, 143, 253, 331, 345,
346, 386, 423, 441, 476: of will to
God, 311; entire, 340; to the
Spouse, 355
Suspension 131, 244, 256, 257, 259,
321, 331, 336, 350, 353, 380, 393,
Index
539
403, 413, 418, 498: even exterior,
252; extreme, 384; duration of,
331, occasioned by singing, 256
Suspicions 337, 461; see also False
Sustenance 43, 102, 171, 249
Sweetness in interior 243, 253, 256,
324, 332
Swoon: interior and exterior, 153,
218, 244, 337, 426; see also
Languishing
Symbol see Imagery
Sympathy 68; see also Feelings
Synthesis of Dwelling Places: first,
270; second, 270, 271; third, 271,
272; fourth, 272, 273; fifth, 273,
274; sixth, 274, 275, 276; seventh
276; Teresa's — of the spiritual
life, 267, 269
Talk is easy 472; see also Deeds;
Words
Tasks: performance of, 357; from
God, 103; Mary had already per-
formed—of Martha, 448; see also
Works
Taste: spiritual, 434; of God's
favors, 245, 249
Teacher (teaching) 118, 129, 309;
not our business, 117, 315, 449;
see also Christ; Teresa
Tears 52, 65, 100, 109, 232, 236,
243, 317, 318, 326, 345, 391, 395,
422: anxious, 318; false, 394;
refreshment from, 108, 395;
suspect, 394; weeping, 394, 397
Temperament 30, 233, 300, 318,
463
Temptation(s) 39, 59, 68, 84, 108,
111, 129, 155, 185, 186, 188, 189,
190, 191, 192, 193, 195, 197, 199,
201, 223, 296, 301, 303, 307, 317,
361, 372, 409, 414, 437, 460, 463,
474, 475, 477, 478; see also
Remedies
Tenderness 68, 96, 232, 394, 399,
402, 462
Tense 198; see also Feelings
TERESA:
age, 40; asks for prayer, 450, 452;
her biographers, 268; cham-
pions women, 23, 25, 26, 50;
criticizes learned men, 210; on
her own death, 19, 44, 132;
determination, 271; education
in Scripture, 209; freedom, 29;
handwriting, 17; is hard-
hearted, 394; health, 78, 264,
281, 320, 321, 354, 362, 492;
laughs, 42, 97, 122, 196, 227,
381, 438; her memory, 220,
281, 338; a 'restless gad-about,'
265; sarcasm, 329; self-
deprecation, 56, 305; suffering,
20; is not tender, 394; vivacity,
468; wit, 313, 490; worry about
her brother, 466
and Christ: defends Christ before
the Father, 167, 175, 176; see
also CHRIST; GOD
and the Church: daughter of, 20,
22; doctrinal position of Teresa,
488; her ministry, 20; her mis-
sionary spirit, 17; Scripture,
209; her submission of her
writings, 21, 282, 452, 458;
burns her Meditations, 212
and her Nuns: she is foundress,
15; mother, 94, 128; prioress,
38, 128, 457, 496; her
anathemas regarding honor,
71, love, 55, 459 and poverty,
46, 458; her ideal envisioned,
22, 27, 41; her love for the
Sisters, 40; her obedience, 15,
16, 37 and occupations, 467; a
proverb, 498; her role of
teacher, 28, 30, 31, 128; her
work threatened, 265 ,
and her Prayer: approved, 492;
Easter grace, 425; experience of
the mystical life, 20, 275, 467;
goal of her interior journey,
278; locutions, 20; longing, 41;
meditations, 220; prayed 20
years before contemplation, 95;
540
Index
read for prayer, 99; her
spiritual marriage, 432, 433;
her spontaneity, 29, 33; her ter-
minology, 33; visions, 20, 269
and her reflections related to Sci-
ences: Biology, 341, 350;
natural science, 108, 109, 323;
philosophy, 108; physiology (in-
cludes anatomy and medicine)
320, 321, 322, 334; psychology,
55, 125, 134, 145, 149, 163,
165, 166, 169, 170, 173, 191,
198, 199, 226, 233, 237, 241,
243, 244, 257, 258, 260, 310,
315, 317, 318, 334, 379, 394,
396, 415, 416, 423, 449;
sociology, see Social Relation
and her Writing: 16, 17, 18, 21,
28, 29, 32, 34, 35, 39, 62, 72,
90, 98, 106, 117, 132, 208, 213,
215, 219, 220, 225, 243, 263,
266, 267, 268, 270, 271, 272,
273, 274, 275, 276, 277, 278,
290, 297, 306, 322, 327, 338,
354, 358, 389, 393, 427, 428,
451, 452, 465, 472, 484, 485;
intended it for, 37; imagery,
268; see also Castle Imagery;
Figures of speech; lapse of time
between books, 358, 381; had no
strength for writing, 423; wrote
in obedience, 316, 325, 489; her
work corrected by Gratian, 486;
defended by Ribera, 486
Test: by God, 96, 309, 310, 315,
334; He observes soul's behavior,
357; by ourselves, 229, 310, 311,
475
Thanksgiving 33; see also Grati-
tude; Praise of God; PRAYER
Theology and theologians 16, 21,
22, 23, 24, 48, 49, 59, 208, 272:
terminology of, 484
Thieves on cross 93
Thirst for God: exteriorly mani-
fested, 111; spiritual, 107; see also
Figures of speech
Thomas Aquinas, St. 305
Thought(s) (thinking) 62, 118, 126,
128, 133, 147, 154, 185, 190, 216,
217, 227, 229, 239, 248, 249, 272,
321, 322, 323, 331, 370, 372, 376,
378, 397, 402, 403, 404, 413, 415,
423, 445, 448, 476, 477: about
saints necessary, 399; brave — im-
portant, 230; is not contempla-
tion, 95; consoling, 112; deceive,
327; discursive, 319; less, 329; lof-
ty, 53; poverty in, 46; no power
for, 336; taken to be seeing, 334;
of the world, 110
Time 90, 93, 126: all of- but one
day, 168; before favors granted,
401; lost in ignoring intellect, 400;
wasting, 333
Titles in monasteries 27, 458; see
also Nobility
Toledo 263, 267, 491; copy of In-
terior Castle, 266, 458, 459, 471,
472, 474; monastery of St. Joseph,
17, 35, 282
Toledo, Garcia de, O.P. 15, 16, 18,
21, 28, 35, 459
Tomb: passage from, 341
Torment: spiritual, 276, 362, 363,
364, 365, 384, 410, 415, 423, 426,
438, 444, 446, 460, 472; delight-
ful, 391; excessive, 440; of soul
versus of body, 424
Tostado, Jeronimo, Fr. 264, 265
Touches of God's love 441; see also
GOD; LOVE
Touchiness see Honor
Tranquillity 116, 222, 226, 228,
232, 236, 321, 349
Transformation: in God, 164; of
soul, 343, 344
Transition from natural to super-
natural 488
Translation 34
Transport 442; from devil, 338; of
love, 254; see also Rapture
Transverberation 492
Index
541
Treasure 336; see also Figures of
speech; Self
Trent (Tridentine), Council 24,
26, 208, 266, 482, 486
Trials 33, 34, 50, 73, 74, 82, 83,
102, 112, 113, 117, 122, 126, 131,
133, 134, 136, 141, 162, 163, 169,
175, 181, 185, 201, 215, 232, 237,
238, 240, 246, 251, 259, 271, 276,
298, 300, 301, 306, 307, 310, 315,
320, 321, 332, 344, 345, 358, 360,
364, 369, 374, 378, 381, 390, 392,
393, 403, 416, 417, 418, 425, 431,
432, 437, 439, 445, 446, 447, 449,
463, 472; asking for, 160; exterior
or interior, 440; extraordinary,
417; having to eat and sleep is a,
321; of loved one, 66; unbearable,
363
Tribulations of contemplatives 102
Trinity see GOD
Truth(s) 51, 75, 91, 110, 115, 116,
120, 125, 136, 140, 141, 146, 162,
165, 184, 185, 192, 193, 202, 216,
218, 227, 244, 245, 248, 258, 290,
309, 313, 325, 328, 336, 338, 339,
340, 349, 363, 373, 374, 381, 393,
400, 401, 407, 409, 414, 420, 437,
469, 478, 484: God alone is, 420;
most profound, 430
Trust 175: in God, 248; in superior,
229; see also Confidence
Tumult in senses and faculties 413
Understanding 38, 45, 48, 49, 54,
55, 62, 65, 69, 74, 88, 99, 102,
104, 108, 110, 117, 121, 123, 124,
125, 128, 129, 130, 131, 136, 137,
140, 141, 142, 143, 147, 148, 149,
150, 152, 153, 154, 155, 157, 158,
165, 178, 179, 181, 183, 185, 187,
191, 193, 198, 199, 203, 207, 215,
216, 217, 218, 219, 221, 223, 224,
226, 228, 229, 232, 234, 235, 237,
242, 243, 244, 245, 248, 249, 250,
251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 257, 258,
260, 264, 269, 275, 276, 284, 289,
290, 291, 301, 303, 304, 305, 307,
310, 311, 312, 316, 319, 320, 321,
323, 324, 325, 327, 328, 329, 331,
332, 334, 335, 336, 339, 340, 344,
346, 348, 351, 355, 358, 363, 364,
365, 371, 373, 375, 376, 377, 379,
381, 382, 384, 385, 386, 388, 390,
393, 395, 399, 404, 405, 406, 407,
408, 410, 416, 419, 420, 422, 424,
427, 430, 432, 434, 435, 436, 438,
439, 444, 445, 446, 448, 460, 464,
465, 472, 473, 475, 476, 484: in-
ward and outward, 380; received
in prayer, 40; and sin, 210
Unhappiness 226
Union: of bride and bridegroom,
237; from conformity of wills, 491;
delightful, 349, 350, 491; dura-
tion of, 254, 334, 339, 343, 355,
434; error about, 338; of faculties,
325; of some of the faculties, 340;
with God, 211, 221, 240, 242, 246,
252, 254, 274, 276, 277, 320, 337,
338, 339, 343, 346, 353, 355, 360,
367, 368, 379, 395, 429, 430; see
also CHRIST; GOD; infused,
491; intensity of, 341; nature of,
341; oneness is more than, 434;
prayer of, 109, 155; see
PRAYER; secret, 433; of soul
with uncreated Spirit, 435; of the
whole soul, 340; of spirit with
spirit, 447; with will of God, 236;
of will to God's will, 325, 349, 350,
352; see also Will
Ursula, St. 356
Vainglory 85, 186, 333, 351
Valdes, Fernando de, Inquisitor
General, 24, 208, 468
Valencia: editions of Way of Perfec-
tion, 35, 485
Valladolid: autograph of Way of
Perfection, 35, 459; monastery of
nuns at, 18
Values see Soul
Vanity 57, 58, 76, 83, 144, 192, 226,
237, 244, 289, 300, 338, 460, 464,
465, 477
542
Index
Variety: modes of presence to
Christ, 33; of ways to proceed in
prayer, 223; see also Diversity
Velasquez, Dr. Alonso 483
Vernacular for Scripture in Teresa's
time 208, 209, 215, 217, 304, 468
Vicar 461; right of, 61; see also
Superior
Victory 364
Vigil, keeping 333
Violence 22; spiritual, 119
Virgins, foolish 103
Virtue(s) 31, 42, 45, 46, 51, 54, 55,
56, 62, 69, 71, 74, 75, 76, 77, 87,
90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 100, 105,
119, 120, 130, 143, 161, 180, 182,
185, 187, 188, 189, 192, 196, 227,
232, 235, 236, 238, 239, 240, 244,
245, 252, 254, 255, 274, 288, 291,
301, 309, 311, 314, 317, 332, 336,
348, 350, 351, 352, 353, 357, 386,
390, 394, 404, 410, 414, 417, 450,
460, 465, 475, 476, 478, 487, 498:
feigned, 351; imagined — is a
pestilence, 186; of a loved one, 66;
practice of, 447
Visions (apparitions) 22, 104, 268,
339, 381, 405, 407, 408, 409, 410,
411, 414, 415, 416, 418, 420, 425,
430, 445, 465, 484: acts produced
by, 375; authentic, 418; basis of
symbol for The Interior Castle,
268, 269; beneficial, 417; came
with great force, 433; holland
linen garment in, 412; differ in
seventh Dwelling Places, 433;
duration of, 406, 411, 412, 413,
419; engraved in soul, 419; fan-
cied, 409; imaginative, 275, 277,
380, 382, 389, 406, 410, 419, 430,
432, 433, 493; intellectual, 275,
277, 375, 380, 382, 389, 405, 406,
419, 430, 433, 484, 492, 493, 495,
497; see also TERESA her Prayer
Visitator 264
Vocal Prayer see PRAYER
Vocation of Carmelite nuns 42, 53:
appreciation of, 72; a special call,
248; criteria of, 87; lack of, 87;
other vocations, 43; see also
Religious life
Vows 105, 166, 472
Walls of poverty 46
Warning 300, 332, 333: interior,
357
Watch in prayer 468
Water: element, 323; properties of,
108, 109; as prayer, 324; see also
PRAYER
Way of Perfection {Teresas book)
17, 18, 19, 21, 23, 28, 30, 37, 213,
243, 263, 268, 455, 456, 458, 480,
481, 482, 483, 484, 485, 487, 488,
489, 490, 491, 493, 499: divisions
of, 35; texts, 35
Weakness 40, 43, 57, 66, 68, 80, 85,
87, 104, 114, 118, 120, 129, 161,
165, 172, 198, 201, 228, 229, 238,
239, 240, 241, 242, 252, 255, 257,
309, 333, 334, 344, 345, 360, 374,
378, 379, 382, 387, 394, 410, 413,
423, 425, 440, 442, 443, 445, 446.
459, 460
Wealth 27, 30, 83, .123, 225, 271,
311, 344: striving for, 310
Weariness 64, 116, 164, 201, 202,
249, 391
Will 76, 82, 105, 131, 137, 140, 143,
154, 155, 156, 157, 159, 161, 162,
163, 164, 165, 169, 183, 198, 200,
202, 234, 235, 236, 240, 242, 249,
252, 292, 299, 301, 308, 314, 319,
322, 331, 332, 346, 349, 352, 353,
377, 384, 387, 400, 402, 417, 446,
471, 472: ardor cooled, 357;
enslaved, 55; inquiry of, 249;
laughs, 158; cannot love, 64; plays
no part, 340; resolute, 441; of the
Sisters, 353; no strength, 54; en-
tirely surrendered, 340; union of,
349; willingness, 386
Wisdom 65, 105, 124, 253
Withdrawal 26, 42, 224, 306, 308,
332, 356: actions toward, 344;
Index
543
from all things, 344; from God,
432, 443; happy, 396
Woman 22, 23, 24, 26, 40, 41, 50,
51, 54, 80, 86, 105, 118, 144, 207,
212, 216, 217, 232, 235, 238, 258,
282, 333, 352, 379, 382, 392, 449,
459: argue, 220; dullness, of mind,
290; mistrust of, 25; and prayer,
22, 26; strength of— will astonish
men, 70; teach, 220; womanish
behavior, 70; write, 220; in Scrip-
ture: in Pharisee's house, 449;
touched garment of Christ, 172;
washed feet of Christ, 448
Words 22, 27, 34, 46, 69, 70, 97,
156, 163, 229, 234, 236, 318, 374,
385, 389, 474: from God are ac-
complished, 373; in locutions,
371; of loving soul, 259, 331, 367;
only, 446; power of— from God,
373; of Scripture, 219; see also
CHRIST, Deeds, GOD
Work (labor) 26, 101, 170, 353,
358: workroom, 56; in prayer, see
also Effort
Works (activities) 59, 218, 278, 293,
314, 446: exterior, 438; fruitless if
done in mortal sin, 288;
great — performed in service of
God and neighbor, 257, 258;
our — not needed by God, 308;
soul no longer esteems its, 344; see
also Deeds
World 77, 123, 139, 144, 169, 181,
184, 192, 214, 227, 228, 238, 240,
241, 346, 385, 459, 464, 475: is
blind, 120; clergy and, 48; col-
lapses, 117; comforts of , 480; con-
solations, 315, 336; contempt for,
336, 406; delights of, 157, 245;
demands perfection in preachers,
teachers, theologians, 49; dead to
enjoyments of, 336; duration of,
168; false good of, 234; God not
esteemed in, 345; in flames, 43;
flight from, 75; interests of, 234;
an interior, 320; judges in, 51;
knowledge of, 62; the — is a lie,
420; love for, 255; Lord battles
against — for us, 71; midst of, 392;
pleasure of, 190, 222, 245; rank
in, 179; relations of religious to,
48, 49, 67, 89; speaking to, 129,
130; storms of— not to be feared,
315; things of, 51, 63, 65, 87, 109,
121, 142, 155, 158, 164, 192, 246,
249, 294, 299, 308, 314, 336, 345,
393, 463; despised, 329; treasure
of, 251; worries of, 245; see also
Persons; Withdrawal
Worry 234, 312, 385, 415, 438:
about food, 43, 44; about other's
financial resources, 43
Wound of love in soul 242, 275,
359, 368, 422; delightful and
precious, 367; see also Enkindl-
ing; LOVE
Wretchedness 72, 104, 310, 314,
321, 330, 363, 364, 398, 401, 465:
wicked, 398
Wrongs 178, 180, 182; see also
Rights
Yanguas, Diego de, O.P. 212, 278
Yearning for death 391
Yepes, Diego de, Jeronimite 268,
269
Young also receive favors from God
255
Zaragosa 467
Zeal 120: hunger for God's honor,
295; indiscreet, 296; trials from,
315
Zebedee, sons of 426
Appendix to Index
CASTLE IMAGERY: images and applications in Teresa's own
words:
1)
castle, made of diamond,
in which there are many
dwelling places
the soul
283, 284,
ZOO, ZOO,
291, 429
2)
King of the castle
the Lord, His Majesty
Zoo
3)
outer wall of the castle, set-
ting tor the diamond
the body
284
4)
main dwelling place
center of the soul where
secret exchanges between
God and soul take place
284, 291
5)
insects and vermin in wall
surrounding the castle
external matters
286
6)
door of entry to castle
prayer and reflection
286, 303,
451
7)
entering the castle
a) have good desires
b) entrust self to the Lord
c) reflect on self
287
8)
reptiles that enter with
those who dwell there
business matters that fill
the mind
287
544
Index
545
9)
seeing the beauty of the
castle
self-knowledge and
calmness of soul
287
10)
darkest darkness in castle
mortal sin and the devil
288
11)
sun in all brilliance and
beauty in center of soul
God present in the center
of the soul
288
12)
water streams coming from
crystal-clear fount
works of a soul in grace
288-289
13)
people who live in the
rooms within the castle
the senses
289, 327,
367, 448
14)
the custodians, stewards
and chief waiters
the faculties
289, 327,
367, 448
15)
blindness and bad
management
effects of mortal sin on the
faculties
289, 429,
430
16)
a room
self-knowledge
291, 292
17)
flying (free movement) in
the rooms
ponder the grandeur and
majesty of God
291
18)
mire
our miseries
292
19) black and foul -smelling works of a soul that is in
streams mortal sin 292
546
Index
Castle Imagery (Cont'd)
20) mud
fears, faintheartedness and
cowardice
292, 313
21) vermin within the first
dwelling places
wiles and deceits of devil to
make souls absorbed in
world, and engulfed in
pleasures and vanities,
with honors, and pretenses
so that souls may not know
themselves or understand
their own paths
293, 295,
308
22) vassals of the soul
senses and faculties
293
23) first dwelling places so
darkened by presence of
snakes, vipers, poisonous
creatures which do not
allow beauty of room to be
seen
involvement in worldly
things and absorption with
its possessions, honor or
business affairs
294,
cf 298
24) entering into second dwell-
ing places
striving to give up un-
necessary things and
business affairs
294, 297
25) staying in midst of
poisonous creatures and
eventually being bitten
turning back through our
own fault to go into tumult
of worldly things
294, 297
26) guards of the rooms
the faculties
295,
cf 285
27) living in the second dwell- those who have already
ing places begun to practice prayer 297
Index
547
28) not being determined to
stay in the second dwelling
places
not avoiding occasions of
sin
297, 315
29) persons who live in the first those who cannot pray and
dwelling places are deaf- do not hear the Lord's call 298, 429,
mutes 430
30) persons who live in the sec-
ond dwelling places are on-
ly mute
those who can hear the
Lord's call but cannot pray
well
298
31) the Lord of the castle is a
good neighbor, who makes
his sweet voice heard, as he
calls
God wishes to grant favors
because of His mercy and
bounty. His voice and call
are sermons, words of good
people, good books, illness,
trial or a truth taught us in
prayer.
298
32) stumbling and falling over
poisonous beasts
being so occupied with
pastimes, business affairs,
pleasures and worldly buy-
ing and selling that we fall
into sin and rise again 298
33) blows from artillery in
defense of castle against
snakes, etc., cannot be
ignored
the will is inclined to love
and be aware of the true
Lover; the intellect is more
alive; the faculties, now
more skilled, see the world
as false; and the soul
begins wanting to practice
some penance
299
34) strange houses outside the joys that the devil gives,
castle which are filled with trials,
cares and contradictions 299
548
Index
Castle Imagery (Cont'd)
35) poisonous things
visible habits that are in
and of the world 300
36) deception to lure one to go
back outside the castle
temptations from the devil
to go against favorable
temperament and good
habits and turn to bad
companions 300
37) visiting and talking to
others who are in these
rooms and even in those
closer to the center
conversations with spiritual
persons which lead to
progress
300
38) fighting the enemy at the
risk of loss of life to prevent
going back to the first
dwelling places
manly determination to
lose life and repose rather
than slacken
300
39) weapons to fight the enemy the cross
300
40) a poor way to start
building so precious and
great an edifice — on sand
thinking about consola-
tions at the beginning, and
always being dissatisfied
and tempted
300-301
41) stability of the edifice, the
castle
determined effort to bring
one's will into conformity
with God's will
301
42) poisonous little reptiles
dryness and bad thoughts
which pursue and afflict
without our being able to
get rid of them 301
Index
549
43) being ill at ease in our own
house
our own misery and the
great harm that a dis-
sipated life does to us 302
44) many great and true our faculties
friends and relatives with
whom we must always live,
even though we may not
want to 302
45) the Master of the castle one trusts in the mercy of
brings one from the dwell- God and not at all in
ing places of one stage to oneself
those of another 302
46) winning the battles and
entering the rooms of the
third dwelling places
work, prayer and per-
severance and the mercy of
God leading to security of
conscience, if one does not
abandon the path begun
on
303-304
47) one who will neyer ascend
to the dwelling places
closest to the King
one who strives for
material wealth and, after
possessing it, strives for
more and more, no matter
how good his intention
maybe 310-311
48) walking the path from exerting ourselves to aban-
dwelling place to dwelling don our reason and our
place fears into the Lord's hands
and forgetting our natural
weakness for love of Him 312, 313
550
Index
Castle Imagery (Cont'd)
49) walking rapidly or on the
other hand being weighed
down with mud in the
walking
having great humility and
making progress, or carry-
ing a thousand afflictions
and miseries because of not
having abandoned our-
selves to God's will in
humility
312-313
50) poisonous creatures enter
the fourth dwelling places
and wage war
temptations are felt which
is a gain for it prevents
deception by the devil
317, 437
51) ascending to those dwelling
places which we desire
loving much rather than
thinking much
319
52) mind is on the outskirts of
the castle, suffering from
wild and poisonous beasts,
while soul is perhaps com-
pletely joined to the King
in dwelling places very
close to the center
soul perhaps completely
joined to God while the
mind and faculties are very
distracted and are meriting
by this suffering
320
53) the last dwelling place
the state in which we are
given rest from the thou-
sand trials in the world and
are prepared for tranquilli-
ty and freed from the
taunts of our miseries
321
54) the edifice is being built recollection
327
55) walking about with
strangers and enemies until
shepherd's whistle from the
King in center dwelling
place draws them inside
infused recollection which
gently draws souls inward
to abandon exterior things
in which they were es-
tranged from God
327-328
Index
551
56) tiny lizards that poke their
slender heads in, to bother
but which cannot enter the
fifth dwelling places
little thoughts which pro-
ceed from the imagination,
but which cannot (any
more than memory or in-
tellect) impede the prayer
of true union with God
337
57) a dwelling place which we
build for ourselves
God Himself in the prayer
of union
343
58) there is no closed door be-
tween the last two (the
sixth and seventh) dwelling
places
similar favors are granted
to the soul in both of these
stages so near to God
380
59) the King commands that
the doors of all but the last
dwelling places be closed.
Door of last one alone re-
mains open so we can enter
and see some of His
kingdom
all hindrances to union
with God from faculties
and senses are prevented
by a rapture by which God
carries off for Himself the
entire soul
382-383
60) being brought into the
seventh dwelling place
union with God, in which
the Most Blessed Trinity is
revealed to the soul, all
Three Persons, through an
intellectual vision 430
61) streams of milk from the
center of the castle bring
comfort to all the people of
the castle
aspirations that spring up
in the soul and sustain the
corporeal, giving light to
faculties and peace to the
soul which does not move
from that center
435, 447
552
Index
Castle Imagery (Cont'd)
62) the King is in the center the passions are conquered
dwelling place and no one and have a fear of entering
can enter it to make the the center of the soul
soul leave it 437
the King sends out a secret
note or letter from the in-
terior dwelling place which
is intended to be under-
stood by one alone
a touch or impulse of love
from God in the center of
the soul beseeching us to
remain with Him
64) sometimes all the
poisonous creatures from
the outskirts and other
dwelling places band
together to revenge the
time they were unable to
have the soul under their
control
short periods which are
permitted by God, when
individuals are left in their
natural state and so com-
mit many imperfections,
though not advertently
65) striving to lay stones so
firmly in a good founda-
tion that the castle will not
fall
in genuine humility, in ad-
dition to prayer and con-
templation, striving for vir-
tues, and serving and
pleasing others because
one is the slave of God
whom He can use and sell
as slave to everyone 446-447
66) angering the Lord of the trying to use force through
castle so that He will never one's own efforts and lack-
allow admission to all the ing humility
dwelling places 451
67) going outside the castle but
finding that the Lord
keeps the door open for
one's return
having to leave the center
through obedience to the
prioress but finding rest in
all things, even those in-
volving much labor
Biblical Index
Genesis
1
26
452
1
26-27
283
8
8-9
392
8
8-12
443
19
26
286
28
12
381
Exodus
3:1-16 381
14:21-22 392
16 77
16:3-4 169
Numbers
13:18-27 390
Joshua
3:13-17 392
10:12-13 378
Judges
7:5 300
Ruth
1:15 135
1 Samuel
15:10-11 417
1 Kings
6:7 442
11 445
18:30-39 401
19:10 448
Job
2:9-13 85
7:1 223
Psalms
1:3 288
8:7 109
18:26 447
34:19 146
42:2 442
55:7 140
89:50 194
112:1 304, 306,
445
116:11 420
119:32 318, 324
119:137 314
127:1 289
Proverbs
1:20
114
8:29
387
8:31
283
24:16
92
Song of Songs
207-260
passim
1:2
216, 236,
242, 442
1:2-3
242
2:3
247, 250
2:3-4
248
2:4
250, 340,
346, 448
2:5
250, 255,
256
2:14
134
2:16
246
3:1-3
401
3:2
340, 383
4:7
254
4:9
94
6:3
246
6:10
255
8:1
321
8:4
259
8:7
108
Wisdom
16:20 77, 248,
301
Sirach
3:25 303
Isaiah
30:15 315
Jonah
1 374
4 374
4:67 350
Malachi
3:20 202
Matthew
3:15
166
4:5
96
6:6
129
6:9
137, 140
6:9-10
150
6:12
420, 177
6:13
186
6:15
420
6:21
287
8:25-26
176
9:20-22
172
10:24
303
11:12
119
11:28
113
13:44
336
14:29
235
17:4
154
19:16-22
307
19:22
308
19:27
308
19:29
127
20:13
317
20:22
104, 172,
301, 426
21:3
97
22:14
335
24:35
138
553
554
Index
25:1-13 103
25:1-14 224
25:41 412
26:15 168
26:38 241
26:39 150, 162
26:41 303
Mark
13:31 138
14:38 240
14:38-39 186
Luke
1:35-35 253
1:35 248
1:48-52 86
2:29 153
6:12 129
6:37 420
7:36-40 93
7:36-48 169
7:37-38 448
7:40-48 426
7:50 435
8:43-44 172
9:58 51
10:16 375
10:38 93
10:38-40 100
10:38-42 448
10:40 431
10:41-42 100
10:42 102
11:9 127, 175
12:16-21 225
12:48 308, 387
14:10 99
14:11 86
15:11-32 138
15:16 300
15:22-32 395
17:10 308
18:13 156, 443
21:33 44, 138,
436
22:15 200, 346
22:42 311
23:41 93
John
4:7-14
424
4:14
107, 117,
127
4:39-43
258
5:5
287
7:37
113, 114
8:12
400
8:29
138
9:2-3
285
9:6-7
383
10:30
138
11:16
305
11:33-36
349
13:1-17
218
13:34
56, 218
14:2
114, 283
14:6
303, 400
14:9
303, 400
14:23
430
15:5
147, 300,
317
16:7
404
17:20
436
17:21
138, 436
17:22
350
17:23
436
18:36-38
420
20:19
341
20:19-21
302, 433,
435
Acts of the Apostles
9:3-4 413
9:3-11 248
9:6 441
9:8 430
10:34 98
Romans
8:18 245
1 Corinthians
6:17 434
10:13 186, 377,
409
14:34 92
2 Corinthians
11:14 185, 295,
335, 337
12:2-4 389
Ephesians
3:15 138
6:9 98
Philippians
1:21 434
1:23 112
4:13 201, 332
Colossians
3:3-4 342
1 Thessalonians
2:9 445
1 Peter
1:18-19 55
2 Peter
1:4 138
1 John
1:8-10 92
1:10 201
4:20 351
Revelation
21:3 442
/olume three
the collected works of
ST. TERESA OF AVIIA
tianslated by
kieran kavanaugh, o.c.d. otilio rodriguez, o.c.d.
The Collected Works
of
St. Teresa of Avila
VOLUME THREE
The Collected Works
of
St. Teresa of Aula
VOLUME THREE
The Book of Her Foundations
Minor Works
The Constitutions— On Making the Visitation
A Satirical Critique — Response to a Spiritual Challenge — Poetry
Translated by
Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D.
and
Otilio Rodriguez , O.C.D.
ICS Publications
Institute of Carmelite Studies
Washington, D.C.
1985
© Washington Province of Discalced Carmelites, Inc. 1985
ICS Publications
2131 Lincoln Road, N.E.
Washington, D.C. 20002
Typesetting by Carmel of Indianapolis
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.
The collected works of St. Teresa of Avila.
Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
Contents: v. 1. The book of her life.
Spiritual testimonies. Soliloquies— v. 2.
The way of perfection. Meditations on the song
of songs. The interior castle — v. 3. The book
of her foundations. Minor works.
1. Catholic Church — Collected works.
2. Theology — Collected works— 16th century.
BX890.T353 1976 248 75-31305
ISBN 0-9600876-2-1 (v. 1)
CONTENTS
THE BOOK OF HER FOUNDATIONS
INTRODUCTION 3
A TERESIAN CHRONOLOGY 83
MAP OF FOUNDATIONS 93
PROLOGUE 95
CHAPTER 1 — On the circumstances surrounding the beginning of both
this foundation and the others 99
CHAPTER 2 — How our Father General came to Avila and what followed
from his visit 102
CHAPTER 3 — The circumstances surrounding the foundation of the
monastery of St. Joseph in Medina del Campo 105
CHAPTER 4 — Treats of some favors the Lord grants to the nuns of these
monasteries and gives counsel to the prioresses about the attitude
one should have toward these nuns 113
CHAPTER 5 — Gives some counsels on matters concerning prayer. This
chapter is very beneficial for those engaged in active works 116
CHAPTER 6 — Warns about the harm that can be done to spiritual
people if they do not understand when the spirit must be resisted.
Treats of the soul's desires to receive Communion and of the delusion
that can be present in such desires. There are important things here
for those who govern these houses 1 24
CHAPTER 7 — How one must deal with the nuns who have melancholy.
This chapter is necessary for prioresses 1 34
CHAPTER 8 — Some counsels concerning revelations and visions 1 39
CHAPTER 9 — Deals with how she left Medina del Campo for the foun-
dation of St. Joseph in Malagon 143
CHAPTER 10 — Deals with the foundation of the house in Valladolid.
Its title is The Conception of Our Lady of Mount Carmel 145
V
vi
Contents
CHAPTER 11 — Continues the subject that was begun about how Dona
Casilda de Padilla attained her holy desires of entering religious life . 151
CHAPTER 12 — Tells about the life and death of a religious, Beatriz de
la Encarnacion, whom our Lord brought to this same house. Her life
was one of high perfection, and her death was of a kind that makes
it fitting for us to remember her 156
CHAPTER 13 -Treats of how and by whom in the year 1568 the first
house for the observance of the primitive rule by discalced Carmelite
friars was founded 160
CHAPTER 14 — Continues to speak of the foundation of the first
monastery of discalced Carmelite friars. For the honor of God, tells
something about both the kind of life lived there and the good our
Lord began to do in those surroundings 1 64
CHAPTER 15 — Treats of the foundation of the monastery of the glorious
St. Joseph made in the city of Toledo in 1569 169
CHAPTER 16 — Treats of some of the things that have taken place, to
the honor and glory of God, in this monastery of St. Joseph in
Toledo 176
CHAPTER 17 — Treats of the foundation of the two monasteries in
Pastrana, one for the nuns and one for the friars. They were made in
1570, I mean 1569 179
CHAPTER 18 — Treats of the foundation of the monastery of St. Joseph
in Salamanca in the year 1570. Deals with some important counsels
for prioresses 185
CHAPTER 19 — Continues the account of the foundation of the
monastery of St. Joseph in the city of Salamanca 1 92
CHAPTER 20 — Treats of the foundation of the monastery, Our Lady of
the Annunciation, in Alba de Tormes. It was made in the year
1571 197
CHAPTER 21 — Treats of the foundation in Segovia of the Carmel of the
glorious St. Joseph. It was founded on the very feast of St. Joseph in
1574 203
CHAPTER 22 — Treats of the foundation named after the glorious St.
Joseph of the Saviour and made in the town of Beas on the feast of St.
Matthias in the year 1575 207
CHAPTER 23 — Treats of the foundation of the monastery of the
glorious St. Joseph of Carmel in Seville. The first Mass was said on
the feast of the most Blessed Trinity in 1575 217
Contents vii
CHAPTER 24 — Continues with the foundation of St. Joseph of Carmel
in the city of Seville 222
CHAPTER 25 — Continues telling about the foundation named after the
glorious St. Joseph in Seville and about what we suffered in order to
get our own house 230
CHAPTER 26 — Continues the account of the foundation of the monas-
tery of St. Joseph in the city of Seville. Tells some very noteworthy
things about the first nun who entered there 235
CHAPTER 27 — Treats of the foundation made in the town of Caravaca.
The Blessed Sacrament was reserved on New Year's Day, 1576. The
monastery is under the patronage of the glorious St. Joseph 241
CHAPTER 28 - The foundation in Villanueva de la Jar a 251
CHAPTER 29 -Treats of the foundation of St. Joseph of Our Lady of
the Street in Palencia. It was made in the year 1580 on the feast of
King David 268
CHAPTER 30 — Begins to treat of the foundation of the monastery of the
Blessed Trinity in the city of Soria. It was founded in 1581 . The first
Mass was said on the feast of our Father St. Elisha 280
CHAPTER 31 — Begins to treat in this chapter of the foundation of the
glorious St. Joseph of St. Anne in the city of Burgos. The first Mass
was said April 19, the octave of Easter, in 1582 286
EPILOGUE 308
MINOR WORKS
THE CONSTITUTIONS
Introduction 311
Text 319
ON MAKING THE VISITATION
Introduction 335
Text 337
viii
Contents
A SATIRICAL CRITIQUE
Introduction 357
Text 359
RESPONSE TO A SPIRITUAL CHALLENGE
Introduction 363
Text 365
POETRY
Introduction 371
1. Aspirations toward Eternal Life 375
2. In the Hands of God 377
3. On Those Words "Dilectus Meus Mini" 379
4. Loving Colloquy 380
5. Happy the Enamored Heart 381
6. Oh Exceeding Beauty 381
7. Sighs in Exile 382
8. Seeking God 385
9. Efficacy of Patience 386
10. On the Way to Heaven 386
1 1 . To the Birth of Jesus 387
12. At the Birth of Jesus 388
13. For Christmas 389
14. At the Birth of the Infant God 391
15. The Circumcision 391
16. Another on the Circumcision 392
17. On the Feast of the Holy Kings 393
18. To the Cross 394
19. The Way of the Cross 395
20. Embracing the Cross 396
21 . To Saint Andrew 397
22. To Saint Hilarion 398
23. To Saint Catalina, Martyr 400
24. For the Clothing of Sister Jeronima de la Encarnacion 401
25. For the Veiling of Sister Isabel de los Angeles 401
26. For the Profession of Isabel de los Angeles 402
27. To a Professed Nun 404
Contents ix
28. For a Profession 405
29. For a Profession 406
30. For a Profession 407
31. Against an Impertinent Little Flock 408
NOTES
The Book of Her Foundations 411
The Constitutions 443
On Making the Visitation 455
A Satirical Critique 455
Response to a Spiritual Challenge 456
Poetry 456
INDEX 457
The Book of Her
Foundations
THE BOOK OF HER FOUNDATIONS
INTRODUCTION
St. Teresa wrote her extraordinary story The Book of Her
Life1 under obligation to her confessors and spiritual direc-
tors hopeful that they would come to understand and enlighten
her about the path along which the Lord was leading her. Inter-
woven in her account were the simple biographical data of every-
day experience and the exceptional data of the intense inner life
that resulted when God began to pour out His mystical graces
on her. As she delved into her past, her narration grew into some-
thing more than plain history and became a witnessing to the
realities of the interior life and their transforming power. The
story of Teresa's life evolved into a story of God's mercy.
Teresa's story, however, did not end there. Hardly knowing
where to turn with the burning love that resulted from her rap-
tures in God, she became obsessed with desires to serve "His
Majesty," as she referred to her Lord. Her first brave attempts
to do something about these desires are told dramatically in five
of the final chapters of her Life,
Although the foundation of the new community of St. Joseph's
brought much happiness to Teresa, love's desires were not en-
tirely appeased. In The Way of Perfection* the foundress told
about the pain she felt over the troubles of the Church in
Europe. Now in her Foundations she tells that she was further
tormented when the Franciscan missionary Alonzo Maldonado
came to St. Joseph's. Recently returned from Mexico, he
brought to the monastery grille his tale of the millions who had
never heard of Jesus Christ. In Teresa's mind there could be no
3
4
St. Teresa of Avila
worse fate. Moreover, she thought that the greatest service one
could render the Lord was to bring souls to Him. This woman,
who as a child ran away from home to become a martyr in the
land of the Moors, now thought not so much of martyrdom as of
bringing others to Christ. "When we read in the lives of the
saints that they converted souls, I feel much greater devotion,
tenderness, and envy than over all the martyrdoms they suf-
fered" (1,7). 3 Wrestling with these afflictions of love and com-
plaining to her Lord of her powerlessness to convert her desires
into deeds, she suddenly heard the Lord speak to her: "Wait a
little, daughter, and you will see great things" (1,8).
In 1567, the prior general of the Carmelites, Giovanni Baptista
Rossi, whom Teresa in Castilian fashion called Rubeo, made his
visitation of the Carmelite houses in Spain. Eagerly, but with
some fearful apprehensions, the new foundress arranged to meet
with him so that she could explain what she had done and mani-
fest her compelling desires.
In reality the meeting turned out to be a happy one for both
Teresa and her prior general. Delighted with the spirituality of
this enthusiastic nun and the contemplative manner of living
that she had established within the context of Carmel, Rubeo
not only approved but asked for more. He wanted Teresa to
found other similar monasteries and provided her with the offi-
cial letters she would need for the endeavor. Much consoled,
Teresa felt nonetheless helpless despite her official papers:
"Here I was, a poor discalced nun, without help from anywhere
—only from the Lord— weighed down with patent letters and
good desires" (3,6). But with those desires, which could not be
put aside, and with help "only from the Lord," this poor discalced
nun went on to found personally fourteen more Carmels in ad-
dition to St. Joseph's in Avila; two other foundations she
directed at a distance. In all, at the time of her death, seventeen
of her little Carmels for women had been founded: Medina del
Campo (1567); Malagon and Valladolid (1568); Toledo and
Pastrana (1569); Salamanca (1570); Alba de Tormes (1571);
Segovia (1574); Beas and Seville (1575); Caravaca (1576); Villa-
nueva de la Jara and Palencia (1580); Soria (1581); Granada
and Burgos (1582). She also instituted her way of life among the
The Foundations — Introduction
5
friars and played an active role in both the initial recruitment
and the foundations themselves at Duruelo (1568) and Pastrana
(1569).
Origin and Composition
On August 25, 1573, while staying in Salamanca to assist her
nuns there in the irksome task of finding a suitable house to buy,
Teresa began composing the story of her foundations (Prol. 3).
The idea for this new book seems to have derived from the Jesuit
Jeronimo Ripalda, formerly skeptical of Teresa but now her
friend and confessor. Having read her Life and its account of
the first foundation, Ripalda urged the foundress to enlarge her
story and write as well the history of the seven monasteries she
had founded since the completion of her first book; she could
tell, too, about the first monasteries of her friars. Insisting that
"it would be of service to our Lord," an irresistable argument
for Teresa, Ripalda may, on the other hand, only have been en-
couraging his spiritual daughter to follow a grace the Lord had
previously given her. In February, 1570, the Lord had appeared
to her pressing her to make as many foundations as she could
and also to write about them.4
Teresa's reluctance to follow the Lord's urgings that she write
about her foundations could have been due to her fear that
others might then think they were her own accomplishments, an
idea she disavows. The work was God's work. In addition, she
dreaded taking up the task because of the lack of quiet time for
writing. Tangled business matters, endless correspondence,
persistent bad health, certainly none of these contributed any
spark of enthusiasm for the project. In the end, only the thought
of obedience to her confessor provided her with the strength
needed to begin.
The first free moments she found came during the period
from the end of August, 1573, until March, 1574, while she was
living in Salamanca before leaving to make the foundation in
Segovia. Not knowing how many chapters she wrote during
these months, we can at least surmise that she wrote no more
6
St. Teresa of Avila
than nine. What she tells us is only that she set the work aside
because of duties. But the contents of chapter 10, the story of
Dona Casilda de Padilla's vocation, could not have been written
until later. Although chapters 10 through 12 seem to have been
written in Valladolid — Teresa speaks of not being "here" (11,3)
at the time of Casilda's escape from her family to the cloister—
nothing certain can be stated about where or when the remaining
chapters were composed. Once Teresa completed chapter 19,
her responsibility of obedience to Father Ripalda was fulfilled.
She had neither the time nor the convenience for writing more.
Father Gracian entered the scene next and firmly insisted
that Madre Teresa finish her story. Her pleas and objections
about how tired the work made her were met only with further
encouragement and the advice to write just in snatches and to
do the best she could (27, 22).
In July, 1576, Lorenzo de Cepeda, Teresa's brother, received
a letter from his sister, now a foundress, asking him to send her a
box and some documents and also paper containing details sur-
rounding the foundation in Alba.5 The Father Visitator, she
says, "has ordered me to finish the Foundations.''' In a letter to
Gracian, October 5, 1576, she announces that she is going to
begin writing the rest of the story. Chapters 20-27 were written
not so much in snatches but probably rapidly within a month.
Judging by the colophon appearing at the end of chapter 27,
Teresa definitely thought she was now, November 14, 1576,
done with the annoying task. The stormy opposition that her
work as foundress was undergoing did not allow her to envision
any further foundations about which she would be obliged to
write.
But after the storm, between 1580 and her death in 1582, she
added five more, in all of which she personally took part with
the exception of Granada. Four more chapters had to be writ-
ten. Although the story of her experiences in each of these final
foundations could have been written immediately after each
had been made, more probably she finished this whole last sec-
tion while in Burgos. Perhaps, too, the needed urgings came
from Gracian, if not by his words at least by his presence. In the
closing lengthy chapter which recounts the foundation of
The Foundations — Introduction
7
Burgos, with its interminable troubles, Teresa's handwriting
clearly demonstrates her state of exhaustion.
The General Content
The Jesuit Ripalda's desire was that just as Teresa had re-
corded in The Book of Her Life the events, sometimes fiery, sur-
rounding the foundation of St. Joseph's in Avila so too she should
record the many events surrounding her other foundations. And
this is the main thrust of Teresa's new book. First and foremost,
the work is a narrative of the happenings involved in each foun-
dation. The chronological order in which houses were founded
provides the general course along which the narrative runs.
But the narration of facts is not the Mother Foundress's sole
interest. Once having compared herself to a parrot that knows
only how to repeat what it has heard,6 she confesses her tendency
to be ever repeating what she has to say about prayer. In this
work, too, encouraged by Ripalda, she expands her account so
as to turn again to the theme of prayer and related topics.
Chapters 4 through 8 constitute the longest interruption to
the history of the foundations itself. In them, after having
declared in a matter-of-fact way that most of the nuns in the
houses she had founded were experiencing perfect contempla-
tion (a statement perplexing enough to Gracian to make him
tamper with the autograph) and that each house had one or
more familiar with raptures, visions, and revelations (4, 8), 7 she
gives some pertinent counsels to prioresses flowing from her own
observation of what had been happening spiritually in her mon-
asteries. These counsels deal with: the need, at times, out of
obedience or charity, to set aside contemplation for the sake of
the active works of service (ch. 5); a delightful absorption
lasting for hours that is nonetheless deceptive and that stems
from bodily weakness caused by austerities (ch. 6); melancholy,
the general term used at the time for emotional and mental ill-
nesses (ch. 7); a safe method of procedure in the experience of
visions and revelations (ch. 8). Accompanying the counsels on
8
St. Teresa of Aula
these topics are case histories that Teresa had come to know
first-hand or had heard from others.
Further on in her work, she gives some counsels to prioresses
on the need for discretion in government and in the practices of
mortification (18, 6-13). And scattered throughout her account
are the shorter instructions and motherly exhortations concern-
ing the spiritual life to which the narrative gives rise. Examples
of these would be her exhortations about fidelity to the way of
life she established, or her instructions about not refusing
sincere applicants who lack the funds for a dowry through no
fault of their own (27, 11-12; 29, 32-33).
All in all, there is reason to believe that Madre Teresa found
it much less tedious to give counsels about the spiritual life than
to go into the various historical details of her foundations. At
one point, when treating of the spiritual life, she firmly declares
that "even though writing about such a matter may be a tire-
some thing to do, it doesn't tire me" (6, 8).
Over and above these important and insightful digressions
from her story, she introduces here and there throughout her
work many biographical sketches and anecdotes, some of them
quite lengthy. These are told for the sake of edification and show
some of the traits of early hagiography, the kind Teresa was ac-
customed to reading. Among her sketches we find stories of a
girl's vocation or descriptions of a nun's exemplary life. We meet
Dona Casilda de Padilla (10, 8-ch. 11), Beatriz de la Encarnacion
(ch. 12), Catalina Sandoval y Godinez (22, 4-24), Beatriz de la
Madre deDios (26, 2-15), and some nuns from the community in
Toledo (16, 1-4). In another vein, we read the account of Teresa
Layz who brought the nuns to Alba de Tormes (20, 2-14) and
the long, bewildering story of Catalina de Cardona who brought
the friars to a cave near Villanueva de la Jara (28, 21-36).
The friars, too, are represented in portraits of Ambrosio
Mariano (17, 7-15) and Jeronimo Gracian (ch. 23), and in
shorter sketches of Antonio de Heredia (3, 16), St. John of the
Cross (3, 17), and Nicolas Doria (30, 5).
If many of the carefully described details of the stories puzzle
the twentieth-century reader, one might remember that Teresa's
own life story is most remarkable and extraordinary. At the same
The Foundations — Introduction
9
time, however, the author wanted to be sure of her facts. Some
of them she herself was disinclined to believe. Of Catalina de
Sandoval's illnesses she checked out what she heard: "Had I not
been informed by the doctor and those who were in the house,
or by other persons ... it would not have been unusual for me to
think that some of this was exaggerated" (22, 23). In telling
about the incredible fasts of Catalina de Cardona, she suddenly
feels she must assure her reader: "This fact is very certain, for
even the friars who are there testify to it" (28, 27). The abuse
suffered by Beatriz de la Madre de Dios so shocked Teresa that
she confesses she can find no rational explanation for it (26, 9).
Many other characters about whom Teresa makes brief com-
ments enter the drama at their proper times. She takes par-
ticular care to mention benefactors, and not merely for the sake
of edification but also that her nuns will remember to pray for
them. After speaking of the prior of the Carthusian monastery
near Seville, she states that she mentions him so that the nuns
will remember him in their prayers, and she adds: "it is right
that you pray for him and for all those, living and dead, who
have helped us" (25, 9).
Two principal concerns about her story weigh on Teresa's
mind, and she manifests them at the outset: she must be com-
pletely truthful, and the glory and praise must go to God (Prol.
3). Regarding the latter, a fear pervades her book that a reader
might think the accomplishments were hers. Whether she suc-
ceeds in including every important historical fact and excluding
the unimportant does not worry her. Her concern is that God be
praised for His works. At one point in the midst of her account,
she seems suddenly taken with fear that someone might attrib-
ute the successes of her work to herself or someone else. In her
mind, "only His Majesty could have raised the work to what it
now is" (13, 7).
Indeed, the protagonist in her work is God. Like the contem-
porary discoverers of new worlds, she also discovers, she en-
thusiastically searches out and beholds God's efficacious action
lying beneath, yet always transcending, the historical facts; fur-
ther, she learns that He is deeply involved and committed to the
historical process even in its minutest details.
10
St. Teresa of Avila
Teresa, herself a lover of solitude, now entered more visibly,
so to speak, this historical process. Her strength to do so derived
from the thought that Jesus Christ out of obedience came from
the bosom of the Father to become our slave. The troubles she
would get caught up in would be occasions, she reflected, for
showing her where virtue was wanting. "How could it be known
whether a man were valiant if he were not seen in battle?" (5,
15). And besides, who more than she knew that the true lover
loves the Beloved always and everywhere? Then there is her fur-
ther important teaching for all who must live the active life that
"it is not the length of time spent in prayer that benefits one;
when the time is spent as well in good works, it is a great help in
preparing the soul for the enkindling of love" (5, 17).
The Mother Foundress with her classic determination, her
muy determinada determination, embraced the new work God
had given her. She quickly made friends wherever she thought
she might find help for God's service. She had to decide which
cities and towns presented the best opportunities for her foun-
dations and which sites would offer the most advantages. She
had to raise money, look for property and houses to rent or buy,
and recruit nuns who could endure with all the needed virtues
the inevitable problems accompanying her new monasteries,
nuns whom she could trust to carry on in her spirit once she went
on to another foundation. She had to learn flawless tact in deal-
ing with bishops and others in authority. She had to become an
expert in sifting through the legal complexities that surrounded
contracts; sometimes the negotiations continued for months
and even years. Always careful to avoid whatever might insti-
gate a lawsuit, she was at times, to her dismay, drawn right into
one. She was forced to become both an expert in the intricacies
of money management and an attentive organizer and planner.
She had to search out furnishings for her new foundations and
look after the involved travel preparations. In a word, she was
thrown into the world of people, money, and property, and all
the unwelcome conflicts these are liable to bring forth, especially
when individual or collective egos are threatened and in need of
being shored up and defended.
To find God in all things, in troublesome clashes as well as in
The Foundations — Introduction
11
the hermitage— or, in her proverbial statement, even "among
the pots and pans" (5, 8) — this was the art she was forced to
master; and in finding Him she found the One who could do
what she could not. "A useless woman as helpless as I well
understood that she couldn't do anything" (2, 3).
After the prior general had given her his encouragement and
all the needed permissions, she was left with a keen sense of help-
lessness, with no way of accomplishing her good desires. But the
Lord who gave her the good desires also made it possible for her
later to exclaim: "O greatness of God! How You manifest Your
power in giving courage to an ant!" (2, 7).
This power of God showed itself as well in the lives of her
daughters. After describing the exceptionally mortified and vir-
tuous life and death of Beatriz de la Encarnacion, she reminds
us that these stories of nuns living in her houses are told so that
"we may all praise the Lord who in this way lets His magnificent
riches show forth in us weak, little women" (12, 10).
Another character playing a major role in her story and shar-
ing center stage is the adversary, the devil, relentlessly plotting
and struggling to spoil the Lord's work. In Teresa's Life readers
see him trying to impede her wary soul through the bad influ-
ences of the surrounding society, through inner cunning, decep-
tive suggestions, false visions, and even bodily attacks. Now in the
Foundations the devil appears as the agent and inspirer of the
adverse happenings that obstruct the establishment of her new
communities of both nuns and friars. At the outset, chronicling
the first foundation in this book, that of Medina del Campo,
Teresa voices this theme in meeting her first bothersome setback,
when the Augustinian friars threatened a lawsuit against the
nuns if they tried to rent the available house: "When You, Lord,
want to give courage, how little do all contradictions matter!
Rather, it seems I am encouraged by them, thinking that since
the devil is beginning to be disturbed the Lord will be served in
that monastery" (3, 4). 8 In addition, the devil seeks to deceive
Teresa's nuns, using as his tools melancholy, disturbing thoughts,
and false visions. Some he may tempt at the hour of their death,
but the Lord promises through special favor to protect Teresa's
nuns at this time (16, 4).
12
St. Teresa of Avila
Though angels are hardly mentioned, devils are everywhere.
They even follow one into the desert, appearing as huge vicious
dogs or as snakes (28, 27). But the devil seemingly keeps busier
in some environments. The city of Seville, because of its climate,
its riches, and its opulent lifestyle provided an appropriate setting
for the demon's work. "I have heard it said that the devils have
greater leeway there to tempt souls, for God must grant it to
them. They certainly afflicted me there, for I never felt more
pusillanimous or cowardly" (25, 1). When the house into which
the nuns had just moved almost went up in flames, Teresa blamed
the devil who felt "so angry at seeing another house of God
. . . that he wanted somehow to get revenge" (25, 14).
The disagreements within the order that put an end for a
while to her foundations might have arisen, Teresa conjectures,
because the devil was displeased that so many houses were being
founded where our Lord was being served. In fact, the devil was
so cunning that had it not been for the king everything would
have collapsed (27, 20; 29, 31).
At times the Mother Foundress herself became the victim.
The devil would confuse her when she was trying to make a deci-
sion, or make her feel great repugnance toward going ahead
with her work (28, 14; 31, 4). In sum, the devil set snares and
stirred up unrest and opposition (29, 9; 31, 14, 22, 31).
The spiritual tradition deeply rooted among the people, par-
ticularly from the middle ages to the seventeenth century, told
how the devil might act anywhere in the world, among any per-
sons, at any hour of the day or night, but always and only with
the permission of God, as St. Gregory affirmed in his commen-
tary on Job. One could happen upon nests of devils in shadowy
places and dens. Even some liturgical formulas reflect these sen-
timents.
In her writings Teresa mirrors these popular notions. But she
does not embrace any and every popular idea. She never sug-
gests, for example, resorting to the use of superstitious practices
to ward off the devil. One preventive was the burning of bad-
smelling aromatics like sulphur, St. -John's- Wort, or galbanum,
with the hope of making the devil change direction or chasing
him away. Her methods were prayer, "the place where the Lord
The Foundations — Introduction
13
gives light to understand truths" (10, 13), 9 and the practice of
Christian virtues like charity, humility, and obedience. In addi-
tion she made diligent inquiry from confessors, learned men,
and others so as to discern what might be for God's greater ser-
vice.10 Once the latter became clear, she threw herself into the
task with determination despite feelings of fear and doubt;
"God wants no more than our determination so that he may do
everything Himself (28, 19). Then the devil can do no more
than what the Lord allows for the sake of a greater good as in the
case of the foundation in Burgos: "But, O Lord, how obvious it
is that You are powerful, for the very scheme the devil used to
prevent it, You used to do something better" (31, 31). 11
What might one think of such unsparing talk of the devil? Is
there here nothing more than a popular personification of the
forces of evil? The difficulty lies in discerning what precisely
comes from the human realm and what from that suprahuman
realm of "principalities and powers."12 Though Teresa speaks
popularly about the devil, the essential point she makes is by no
means incidental to her story nor is it merely an outdated element
of sixteenth-century thought. The essential point is that through
Jesus Christ she feels liberated, free of worries about all interfer-
ence coming from either human or demonic powers, and in her
efforts to serve Jesus she discovers that in the end He is always
victorious, never fails those who seek to serve Him (18, 1 ; 27, 11,
20). Her work is His not hers. "Therefore, it is often made clear
that it is not I who do anything in these foundations, but the
work is His who is all powerful in everything" (29, 5). 13
As for the style of this book, it is that of the Mother Foundress
speaking to her daughters; not so much writing in the way she
speaks, but speaking by means of writing. In her Constitutions,
she gives some counsels about recreation and, apparently trying
to compensate for a lack of diversion in their life, reminds her
nuns that God will give some the grace to entertain others.14
Teresa herself undoubtedly belonged to this group of entertain-
ers. Surely the nuns enjoyed listening to her stories, the array of
characters, great and small, the ever-present thicket of trou-
bles, the drama with its transcendental dimensions in which His
Majesty, finally, comes out always the victor. When we read this
14
St. Teresa of Avila
book, we are as it were invited to a community recreation period
in which Teresa entertains. The nuns who knew their Mother
Foundress always agreed in their testimony with Ana de Jesus (Ji-
mena) who declared that in reading the works of Madre Teresa
she felt she was listening to the Madre speak.15
Partly because of our remoteness from sixteenth-century
Spain, partly because of Teresa's story itself, at least as strange
as fiction if not stranger, much of the drama or deep and prac-
tical spirituality that lies beneath the surface of the lines or
within an environment so removed from our own could go un-
perceived without some historical and cultural background in
addition to the information supplied in the notes. But providing
such background calls for an expansion of this introduction
which at the same time presents the danger of making it too
lengthy. The reader uninterested in this background may pre-
fer to skip over to the final section dealing with the autograph.
In any case, some of the information presented here can serve as
introductory material also for the other Teresian writings con-
tained in this volume as well as for those included in the first two
volumes. In like manner, the introductions of the first two
volumes contain information that can also contribute to the
understanding of this work.
The Order of Carmel
A paragraph from a sermon preached in a church at Avignon,
France, in 1342 expresses well the thinking that was still com-
mon in Teresa's time and explains many of her references to the
order of Carmel:
"You are wondering why I refer to the Carmelites as the spe-
cial and ancient order of our Lady but if you were to know the
reasons, you would wonder no more. Trustworthy histories of
Elijah and Elisha tell us how these two often dwelt on Mount
Carmel, three leagues distant from Nazareth, the city of our
Lady. And saintly men continued to live there in solitude, until
the time of our Saviour. At that time, the hermits were converted
The Foundations — Introduction
15
by the preaching of the apostles. On one side of the mountain,
they built a Church or oratory in honor of the Holy Virgin, in a
spot which, they had been told, she often frequented in her life,
with her maiden companions. For this reason, they were the first
among all religious orders to be called children of the Blessed
Mary of Mount Carmel. From the early days of the Church, they
worked with alacrity to preach the Gospel and in later times
they were given a rule of life by John, Patriarch of Jerusalem,
based on that of St. Paulinus and St. Basil. Thus, quite justly,
this Order enjoys the honor of being the oldest of them all."16
Not included in this little summary was the legend behind the
nuns, which went so far as to say that the wife of Elijah founded
a similar institute for women. Later, after Teresa's times, the
order of Carmel, without a critical sense of history or a definite
founder, got caught up in the challenge to prove its age-old tra-
ditions. The signal that sounded the beginning of a literary
battle lasting thirty years was the assertion, in 1668, by the Jesuit
Daniel Papenbroch, a well known Bollandist scholar, that the
Carmelite order was founded in 1155 A.D. by St. Berthold who
was identified with the white-haired monk from Calabria men-
tioned by Phocas. So harsh, unrelenting, and disedifying did
the battle become that in 1698 the Holy See imposed silence on
both parties. Later, in 1725, when the Carmelite order trium-
phantly installed in St. Peter's in Rome its celebrated statue of
Elijah as the order's founder, its apologists considered them-
selves the winners.
What can be affirmed historically is that there was a school of
prophets on Carmel, that the prophet Elijah undoubtedly had an
impressive impact on the hermits and monks of the early Church,
and that Christian hermits resided on Mt. Carmel from a very
early date.17
Carmelites from the fourteenth to the seventeenth century
thought that The Institution of the First Monks was the rule
given to their forefathers around the year 400 by John, the 44 th
Patriarch of Jerusalem. These monks, it was supposed, dutifully
followed this rule until receiving the formula of life or rule writ-
ten by Albert of Jerusalem in the thirteenth century. Yet even
though it is now commonly recognized that the Institution in its
16
St. Teresa of Avila
present form cannot be dated much earlier than the fourteenth
century and was not originally written in Greek, the language of
its alleged author, the text did give Carmelites their manual par
excellence of spirituality.
The unknown author of this work describes the way toward
"prophetic perfection" and the purpose of the religious eremitical
life. By means of an allegoric commentary on the biblical ac-
count of the prophet Elijah, he explains, in eight chapters, the
eremitical-contemplative ideal, which lies in the attainment of
a two-fold end: first, to offer God a heart holy and pure of all
stain of actual sin (through one's own efforts assisted by grace);
second, to taste at times, by divine gift, God's sweetness in the
depths of one's heart and to experience in one's soul the power
of His divine presence. God promised this latter to Elijah through
the words: "You shall drink from this brook."18
The order's devotion to our Lady grew stronger through an-
other tradition that in 1251, a time of hardship for Carmelites,
she appeared to the prior general, Simon Stock, to encourage
him and give him the scapular as a pledge of her protection.
The oldest written account of this vision comes 150 years after
the alleged event, a gap considered too wide for certainty espe-
cially in light of the medieval fondness for clothing a spiritual or
theological belief in a story. What is more, it now appears cer-
tain that the prior general from 1247-1256 was not Simon Stock
but a certain Godfrey, whose name appears as prior general on
recently discovered legal documents.
Teresa found inspiration in all these cherished Carmelite
traditions of her time and speaks about the life of our holy
fathers of the past, the antiquity of the order, the order as being
our Lady's order, and the habit as being our Lady's habit.
She tells us that prior to his decision to enter the Carmelites
Padre Gracian used to pass his recreation hours pouring over ac-
counts about the antiquity and greatness of the Carmelite order
(23, 3). One wonders if the writing of history in those times
might also have been a form of recreation. Not until the nine-
teenth century did historians begin to stress the necessity of
establishing facts through meticulous research and discriminat-
ing criticism. Parenthetically, it is worth affirming that for
The Foundations — Introduction
17
Teresa writing the history of her foundations was a burden and
she took great pains to avoid giving any false information. "In
this work that is being written for the praise of our Lord, any
untruthfulness would cause me great scrupulosity. I believe that
such a thing would involve not only a waste of time but decep-
tion concerning the works of God" (Prol. 3). But as for dates,
she warns, we must be somewhat suspicious and think in terms
of more or less (25, 4). Teresa, in the end, sums up the story of
Gracian's vocation in characteristic fashion: "And this glorious
Virgin was the reason he received her habit and became so fond
of the order" (23, 4).
The actual date of the formal beginning of the Carmelite order
or the real circumstances that brought the hermits together near
the fountain of Elijah on Mount Carmel may never be uncov-
ered. Nonetheless, sometime around 1210, a definite community
had formed there and decided to petition Albert, Patriarch of
Jerusalem, who resided at Acre, to give them a formula of life.
In its initial stage, the simple rule written by Albert was destined
for hermits and given limited approval by Pope Honorius III in
1226. The hermits became known as the hermit brothers of St.
Mary of Mount Carmel, and they kept a little church there
dedicated to our Lady. Excavations carried out in 1958 have
uncovered the ruins of the church and the nearby cells of the
hermits.
Owing to the precarious position of Christians in the Holy
Land from 1229 onward, the hermits decided to make founda-
tions in the West. To organize these foundations on a sound
basis, a chapter was summoned at Aylesford, England, in 1247.
A decision with far-reaching consequences was made at this
chapter to petition the pope for changes in the rule. By the
papal bull Quae honorem, September 4, 1247, the Rule of St.
Albert was mitigated and became canonically a rule having the
same status as those of the other religious rules already approved,
a necessity at that time because the Fourth Lateran Council
(1215) had forbidden new rules. 19 This, then, was the version of
the rule that Teresa thought was the primitive rule. It allowed
the Carmelites to live according to the new forms of Religious
life that came into vogue with the institution of the mendicant
18
St. Teresa of Avila
orders. Though the alterations made in the text of St. Albert's
rule were slight, the results were extensive: houses were founded
in cities and towns; the cenobitical form of life was developed,
and external apostolates were gradually introduced.
In 1432, the Carmelites petitioned the Holy See for further
changes, claiming that in some respects the rule was too strict
and impeded the advancement of the order. By the bull Romani
pontificis, dated February 15, 1432, Pope Eugene IV authorized
the Carmelites to eat meat three days a week and to walk about at
certain times in their churches, cloisters, and grounds, thus not
having to remain continually in their cells. These concessions
amounted to a last stage in the process whereby the Carmelites
became mendicants and are what Teresa refers to when speaking
of the mitigated rule. Though never written into the rule, they
seem to have had an unhappy negative effect on the order since
by some they were viewed as a symbol of betrayal, a relinquish-
ment of the contemplative ideal.
Up to the fifteenth century the order had no monasteries of
nuns, nor had it felt concern about this. With nunneries would
go responsibilities: the bothersome care of construction and re-
pair of buildings, the safeguards against fire and theft, the service
of the church attached to the monastery, and spiritual assistance
to the nuns. Blessed John Soreth was the prior general who in the
fifteenth century took the feared step and introduced the sister-
hood into the life of Carmel by obtaining the papal bull Cum
nulla, 1452, which bestowed authorization for receiving women
into the Carmelite order as nuns.
Soreth, however, never traveled to Spain. The development
of communities of Carmelite women there took place apart
from his intervention, with the result that the nature of the life
of a Carmelite nun in Spain varied from place to place. At first a
beaterio, a community of devout women affiliated with the
order of Carmel and wearing a habit, the Incarnation at Avila
was founded in 1479. In 1515, the year of Teresa's birth, the
Sisters moved into a much larger edifice they had built outside
the walls of Avila. With this move they also introduced a form of
religious life. Though large and spacious, the new building was
anything but luxurious. Only a bare tile roof covered the church,
The Foundations — Introduction
19
and the makeshift roofing in the choir let the snow in winter fall
through onto the breviaries, and the sun in the summer shine
through so as to provide light enough for reading even with the
shutters closed.
The immediate increase in the number of nuns soon turned
the building into a busy world with unfortunate economic ef-
fects. The poverty became so alarming that the nuns had only
bread to eat and the construction of the monastery and church
were by necessity left unfinished. Despite its meager means, the
community became a refuge for ladies from the nobility. They
entered sometimes to save face in society rather than out of a
desire to live the religious life. These ladies, with the title of
Dona and with their dowries, were each given a special suite of
rooms with their own kitchens, and they were permitted to keep
in their company maids and lay relatives and friends. Even chil-
dren and young girls were allowed to live in the monastery, some
girls receiving the habit as early as age twelve. Much bustling
about, socializing, and distraction were the result. With their
special privileges, the Donas became a source of injustices, class
distinctions, and jealousies. It should not be forgotten that
Teresa herself at the Incarnation bore the title Dona, lived in a
suite of rooms, and at times shared them with her relatives.
From the prior general Rubeo's visit to the Incarnation in
1567, we learn that there were one hundred forty-four nuns
with the black veil (in solemn profession), that there was only
enough food to feed the community for a third of the year, that
the monastery was in debt, that the maximum number of nuns
sustainable would be sixty, and that the unfinished church was
about ready to collapse. Forced by hunger, the nuns had to go
out for help to friends and relatives and get permission to keep
their own money. At one time between 1560-1565 more than
fifty nuns were living outside in the homes of relatives and
benefactors. Parlor visits were encouraged as a help toward
cultivating benefactors and receiving alms.
From Rubeo's visitation we also gather information about
some of the human problems besetting the nuns. There was dis-
agreement over confessors, some nuns wanting only friars from
the order, others desiring a wider choice; some objected to
20
St. Teresa of Avila
preaching by Jesuits since these religious priests would sometimes
discuss the nuns' private and "insignificant questions" from the
pulpit; others suggested that the Carmelite friars prepare them-
selves better by reading some spiritual books; a sour complaint
was made that the local prior was a disgrace to the whole order.20
The many obstacles to a life of recollection and prayer made
little headway, though, in wearing down a large, vigorous group
of devoted and excellent nuns within the community. Teresa, in
her Life, extols the many nuns at the Incarnation "who are so
good and serve the Lord so authentically that He cannot keep
from favoring them."21 Often showing her esteem for the Incar-
nation, she left it with a certain reluctance when beginning her
new foundation. In fact, she later recruited as many as thirty-
four nuns from the Incarnation for her new houses. Out of this
number, twenty-two nuns remained; the others, usually for rea-
sons of health, returned to their former monastery. When com-
plaints were made that she was robbing the Incarnation of all their
good nuns, Teresa replied that there were still more than forty
nuns there who would be capable of founding a religious order.
In chapter 21 of her Foundations, Teresa relates how she her-
self after making the foundations in Salamanca and Alba de
Tormes was appointed prioress of the Incarnation. This appoint-
ment was made in 1571 by the Dominican apostolic commissary,
Pedro Fernandez, who hoped that she could bring about some
reforms and find some remedy for the community's economic
troubles. She called on her new, discalced friar John of the Cross
to come as confessor and spiritual director to assist her. In
Fernandez's view, the step taken was a highly successful one; the
community at the Incarnation under the guidance of these two
leaders experienced a complete spiritual renewal and was
liberated from a number of its problems.
Reform in Spain
In fourteenth and fifteenth century Spain the word "reform"
came to symbolize undefined longings for change within the ec-
clesiastical structure and for more spiritual solutions to problems.
The Foundations— Introduction
21
The religious and secular clergy had accumulated large proper-
ties and enjoyed exemption from taxes levied by the Crown.
Benefices by which the clergy, including religious, received
their livelihood, were the source of much abuse and ever recur-
ring disputes. Owing to the total upheaval produced by the
Black Plague within the life of the monasteries, members were
forced to relinquish the common life and the observance of their
rules and constitutions. The practice of buying endowed offices,
privileges, and academic degrees did not take long to follow
once income and personal possessions were allowed. When groups
formed to renounce these dubious privileges and customs and
return to the authentic or "primitive" spirit of their founders,
they were given the name "observants," in contradistinction to
"conventuals" who represented the former groups. Strong com-
munities of observants arose among the Benedictines, Cister-
cians, Franciscans, Augustinians, and Dominicans. On account
of their exemplary reforms, academic as well as moral, these
observants quickly gained the veneration of the people.
When in 1474 the Catholic Monarchs, Ferdinand and Isa-
bella, initiated their reform movement, that reform already
had a history in this return to the observance. The Monarchs
seized on this movement and in adopting it sought to convert
conventuals into observants. The spirituality of the observants
put emphasis on austerity, the ascetical practice of silence, and
on recollection both interior and exterior.
Among the Franciscan observants was the austere Francisco
Jimenez de Cisneros whom the queen had taken for her confes-
sor. After Alexander VI, in 1491, had authorized the Catholic
Monarchs to take over the reform of the religious orders, Cis-
neros saw his opportunity and launched into the reform work
with unflagging vigor, continuing in the same vein after his ap-
pointment to the see of Toledo in 1495. In the face of dogged
opposition, he began with his own Franciscan order, imposing a
strict observance of the rule. Some thousand Franciscans re-
fusing to yield moved to Africa. Cisneros's reform then spread to
the Dominicans, Benedictines, and Jeronimites, finally broad-
ening its reach to include the secular clergy and laity as well.
Throughout the reign of the Emperor Charles V, 1516-1556,
22
St. Teresa of Avila
the effort to maintain governmental control of the reform con-
tinued, and the movement was assured at least of support if not
of new initiatives.
With Philip II, king of Spain from 1556-1598, the process of
Spanish reform underwent intense change. Terrified at the
thought of heresy entering Spain, Philip's actions show that in
his heart he considered religion too serious a matter to be left to
anyone else, including the pope, but himself. He aimed to make
of the Spanish monarchy a strong fortress against whose walls
the heresies seizing hold of Europe would pound to no effect.
The inquisition, set up by the Catholic Monarchs to promote a
common faith, was turned more or less into a department of state.
Everything that came from Rome met with an attitude of
reserve. Neither the king nor the royal court could manage to
believe in the seriousness of the proposals for reform decreed by
the Council of Trent. Insisting on his right to scrutinize papal
bulls and, if necessary, to forbid their publication in his domin-
ions, the king delayed publication of the decrees of the Council
of Trent for two years. Nor were they published without a pro-
viso guaranteeing the crown's continuing influence in ecclesi-
astical jurisdiction and episcopal appointments.
The conciliar fathers had themselves set about a program of
reform that could serve for the whole Church. But the measures
they worked out needed the support of Rome for their efficacy.
Spain, with little confidence in what Rome could achieve, took
matters into its own hands. A council was established in the
court of Madrid to oversee the reform of religious orders accord-
ing to Spanish ideas. What were considered in Spain as inviola-
ble privileges of the crown were considered in Rome as acts of
rebellion and unwarranted disrespect of papal rights. Ironically,
the monarch least esteemed in the Vatican during some ponti-
ficates was the king of Spain, known by the title "the Catholic
king." Teresa herself reflects the popular opinion, referring to
him as "our Catholic king"; nor does she even flinch from call-
ing him "our holy king" (28, 6; 29, 30-31).
Failing in several attempts to gain briefs from Rome enabling
him to carry out a reform of religious orders more demanding
than that required by the Council of Trent, Philip II finally won
The Foundations— Introduction
23
out with a new pope who had been his candidate. In 1566 and
1567 with the briefs Maxime cuperemus and Superioribus men-
sibus, Pius V gave his nod to the suppression of the conventual
communities and the introduction of observant life. In the in-
terval between the time of the first foundation in Avila, about
which Teresa wrote in her Life and in which she shows the in-
fluence of previous Spanish reform movements, and the other
foundations described in this book, the authorities in Spain be-
gan to apply the work of the Council of Trent with the added
measures imposed by the royal power. Within this new, more
complicated turn of events Madre Teresa set off on her colorful,
adventurous journeys through Spain.22
The Teresian Communities
"Whoever has not begun the practice of prayer, I beg for the
love of the Lord not to go without so great a good."23 Even be-
fore the founding of St. Joseph's, Teresa's convictions of prayer's
transforming powers had grown so strong that others could not
resist feeling drawn to her. Experiencing their own inner ur-
gings toward a life of deeper prayer, they approached Dona
Teresa obliging her to turn her rooms at the Incarnation into a
meeting place for spiritual conversation. Maria Ocampo, a
relative of Teresa's one day half in jest spoke of a possible reform
in which they would return to a style of life more closely eremiti-
cal, the kind their holy forefathers on Mount Carmel had em-
braced. The discalced Franciscans, under the guidance of Fray
Peter of Alcantara, provided an example.24 These discalced
religious comprised groups who sought to go a step further than
the observants and live eremitically in austerity and recollec-
tion. They made themselves externally recognizable through
their coarse wool habits and their bare feet.
As the half jest turned into an idea worth pursuing Teresa's
first consideration, paradoxically, concerned money. Such a
venture would need an assured income, enough to allow the
community to live without anxieties. The Council of Trent, as a
matter of fact, was at the same time legislating that religious
24
St. Teresa of Avila
communities, with the exception of the Franciscans, should
have an income, one that would be in proportion to the number
of religious. After further information from Maria de Jesus about
the rule of St. Albert and encouragement from Peter of Alcan-
tara, Teresa changed her opinion about money and resolved to
found her house in poverty, that is without a fixed income, with
trust in God's providence.25 When she changed over to the new
discalced mode of life in 1562, Teresa dropped her title and
changed her name from Dona Teresa de Ahumada to Teresa of
Jesus, the name by which she was known thereafter. Not until
this century, it seems, did some outside Spain begin to call her
Teresa of Avila.26
When the prior general Rubeo was making his formal visi-
tations in Spain, he visited the new little community of "con-
templative" Carmelites, a term he preferred to "discalced," and
despite Teresa's fears went away most impressed. He urged his
daughter to found more monasteries providing her with all the
necessary permissions. Later, he showed his support by going so
far as to tell her to make as many foundations as she had hairs
on her head (27, 20).
In a letter to her brother Lorenzo, December 21, 1561, Teresa
summed up her idea as she initially envisioned it: "To found a
monastery where there will be only fifteen nuns and no possi-
bility for any increase in numbers. They will practise a very strict
enclosure and thus never go out or be seen without veils covering
their faces. Their lives will be founded on prayer and mortifi-
cation."
In the compact towns and cities of her day, people lived close
together, finding their recreation in carefree, informal talk and
their sources of news in the busy streets. The enclosure, or clois-
ter, served as the means to which women felt forced to turn if
they wanted to escape from the bustle and dedicate their lives to
solitude and recollection.
St. Clare's rule contains the classic features of the cloister
which were confirmed by Innocent IV (1247) and Urban IV
(1264) and decreed by Boniface VIII (1298). Nuns were never to
leave the cloister except in cases of serious illness, and outsiders
were never to enter the cloister, so that the nuns could "thus be
The Foundations — Introduction
25
kept hidden from the gaze of the world and be able to serve God
with greater surrender and freedom."27 Many complained
about these norms as being too rigorous, and soon pretexts were
invented for abandoning them and establishing private laws to
suit the needs of each community.
The practice of enclosure at the Incarnation was not a rigor-
ous one, and Teresa often went outside the monastery. Not until
August 21 , 1564, when the nuncio Alexander Cribelli exempted
her from the observance of the Incarnation was she free to prac-
tice enclosure in its rigorous form. In this same period, the Coun-
cil of Trent dealt with the restoration of the cloister as a tool for
reform. But only in 1566 did its decrees become known in Spain.
In that same year through the constitution Circa pastoralis Pius
V imposed rigorous cloister on all religious women including
those living in beaterios who had never even promised it. When,
understandably, requests began pouring into Rome for dispen-
sations from cloister, Pius V resolutely launched, in 1570, the
constitution Decori reaffirming the previous legislation and
abolishing every contrary law or custom, restricting the causes
for leaving the enclosure to "a serious fire, leprosy, or an epi-
demic." In 1572, the next pope, Gregory XIII, with the consti-
tution Deo sacris defined the boundaries of the cloister and or-
dained that the doors leading into the monastery church should
be boarded up, forbidding the nuns to go out to close the out-
side doors of the church. Teresa doesn't seem to have become
aware of these laws of Gregory XIII, stricter than her own, be-
fore 1581. She then began urging their observance.
Teresa's own enthusiasm for cloister rested on her determi-
nation to provide a contemplative environment for her nuns
through the authorized means that seemed safest in those times.
After all the bothersome complications that marked her many
attempts to establish the foundation in Burgos, Teresa writes of
the happiness of the nuns when able finally to set up enclosure:
"No one but those who experience it will believe the joy that is felt
in these foundations once we are enclosed where no secular per-
sons can enter, for however much we love them it is not enough to
take away this great consolation in finding ourselves alone" (31 ,
46). She goes on to point out that the cloister is for her nuns what
26
St. Teresa of Avila
water is for fish since these contemplative nuns grow so accus-
tomed to living in the clear-flowing streams of their Spouse.
The architecture of the times manifests a fondness for protec-
tive constructions, and sometimes took extravagant forms. From
the reign of the Catholic Monarchs the social life of Spain began
to stabilize, and people started building houses, palaces, and
monuments. Architects foreign and national were in abundant
supply. Commercial contracts with foreign countries brought,
in their wake, new influences. The flamboyant Flemish Gothic
style and the new Italian humanistic style were fused with the
Jewish, Islamic, and Christian traditions of medieval Castile.
The characteristically Spanish architecture that emerged be-
came known as "plateresque" because of its lavish ornamenta-
tion suggesting silver plate. It was a rich and extravagant style
requiring rich and extravagant patrons. In her Way of Perfec-
tion Teresa warns the nuns against extravagance in their build-
ings.28 In this book of her Foundations, she wittily observes that
if the building is not elaborately designed the nuns will be spared
the necessity of having to go around admiring the walls (14, 5).
From other perspectives, the architecture of the times showed
a special bent toward large brick or stone walls, black grilles,
strong and simple in shape, and small windows protected by
iron bars. The manorial doors were decorated with forged or
gilded spikes and with beautifully shaped, pleasant-sounding
knockers. Above the lintels were family shields carved in stone.
The classic monasteries reflected these latter traits and some-
times the former extravagant ones as well. The monastery of the
Incarnation, like a little fortress, crowned its high walls with a
battlement. Granite buttresses, monolithic lintels, and pointed
spikes protruding from the doors, all made an impression of
might and impregnability. The small windows, too, were guarded
by thick iron grates covered with sharp points.
Teresa's monasteries, in humbler style, followed the same
form: doors adorned with spikes, small windows protected by
heavy bars, and the ritual latticework. The grilles in the parlors
were thick and covered with large blunted spikes of iron, an ag-
gressive warning as though some treasure were being defended.
More often than not Teresa's nuns had to learn to make do
The Foundations — Introduction
27
with what they could find or afford. Her foundations were some-
times made in neighboring houses joined together, which she
adapted into an acceptable monastery. Her nuns today still con-
tinue in some of the same houses, living the contemplative life
she established in them. If elaborate or expensive architecture
elicited a frown from Teresa as far as her ideals were concerned,
a beautiful view and a garden with trees and flowers were all-
important to her.29 The garden, as well, served as a place for
hermitages. In St. Joseph's in Avila as many as ten hermitages
were put up in the garden while Teresa was living there.
But if elaborate architecture was frowned on by Teresa, the
size of her monasteries had to depend on the number of inhabi-
tants. The monastery in Malagon, endowed by Dona Luisa de la
Cerda, is the only building Teresa was able to design according
to her own wishes and have constructed completely new; other-
wise, adaptation of what already existed was the rule. When the
nuns were able to move into this new monastery, in 1579, even
though it was still unfinished, they rejoiced along with Teresa
because of the ample living space, in contrast with the crowded
quarters in which they had been living.30
The use of veils by women to cover their faces is a custom al-
most as old as humanity. The veiling of women in certain parts
of the ancient Near East, for example, is manifested in the Mid-
dle-Assyrian law Code, in which a harlot or female slave may
not veil her face, but all other women must veil themselves when
appearing in public. The custom of women veiling their faces in
public was common in Palestine in the first Christian century,
but St. Paul found it difficult to enforce in some other places.31
Christianity, in fact, inherited the practice from three civiliza-
tions, Jewish, Greek, and Roman. Veiling objects or persons
consecrated to the divinities was extended to other forms of con-
secration, such as baptism, marriage, and the consecration of
virgins. The custom for women to be veiled gradually fell into
disuse in the West but was preserved in the East and among Mos-
lems. Nonetheless, the use of the veil was still current in sixteenth
century Spain, especially where there was Moorish influence.
In one of its religious uses the veil became the sign of the con-
secrated woman. In Teresa's time it caused no surprise or an-
28
St. Teresa of Avila
noyance to see nuns with their faces veiled; this was often done by
other women as well when they ventured into the streets. There
were, in addition, a number of kinds of veils, each with a dif-
ferent meaning. Suarez speaks of some of these: the white veil, a
sign of testing that was worn by novices though also by lay Sisters;
the veil of full consecration that was received at age twenty-five;
the veil for ordination to the stage of deaconess, at age forty, by
which one was enabled to read the Gospel and its respective
homily during the recitation of the Divine Office; and the veil of
recompense that was bestowed on superiors when they reached
seventy- five. 32
Along with her esteem for the enclosure as a means toward
solitude and of avoiding the lax, distracting atmosphere of other
monasteries, Teresa esteemed the veil. Her nuns did not appear
in public without having their faces veiled, for wherever they
went they attracted the curious. Writing of the foundation in
Soria, for example, she shows her feelings on the matter: "We
were anxious to get inside because of the large number of people.
The world is so fond of novelty that were it not for the veils we
wear over our faces, these crowds would be a great trial. But
with these veils, we can put up with them" (30, 8).
According to an established custom going back to the Rule of
St. Clare, the grilles in the parlors, too, were covered with a veil
or curtain. In a new foundation, even before an enclosure was
established, Teresa would begin to observe in makeshift fashion
the laws about the grille, as in Burgos: "Through a window with
a grate covered by a veil, I spoke with those who came to visit
me" (31, 20).
In visits with parents and family members, or in similar cases,
the veil was seen as unnecessary and not required by Teresa. She
herself, when asked, would lift the veil for friends. After Teresa's
death, Nicolas Doria made stricter rules about the use of the
veil.
As foundress, the Madre discovered that fewer nuns meant
greater harmony and quiet. Her ideal remained that of a small
group of good friends gathered in the Lord to live totally for
Him through a contemplative life of prayer useful for His Church.
In her Way of Perfection, she outlined the spirituality she en-
The Foundations — Introduction
29
visioned for this little group. At the beginning, the number of
nuns Teresa had in mind was thirteen, a symbol of Christ and
His twelve apostles.33 When she was obliged to return to the In-
carnation as prioress, she felt the contrast between the quiet of
her little communities and the commotion among the 130 nuns
of the Incarnation.34 In her last years, Madre Teresa increased
the limit to twenty in those houses with a fixed income; in those
founded in poverty, she set the limit at thirteen or fourteen choir
Sisters. With the foundation in Malagon, she began to allow for
lay Sisters, but for no more than three. When in the beginning
she had set the number at thirteen, she had in mind nuns healthy
and young enough to share in the work. As nuns grew older and
some became sick, requiring much care and time from others,
adaptations had to be made in the numbers.35
In addition to what can be said of the above points summed
up in the letter to Don Lorenzo, it must also be stated that the
new manner of living Madre Teresa originated for her Carmelite
nuns went far beyond a mere reform, or reaction, which would
have consisted in the extirpation of abuses and the restoration of
regular observance. Inspired by the deepest Gospel spirit, she
created, within the framework of Carmelite cenobitical life, a
somewhat eremitical mode of living. In addition she illuminated
this contemplative mode of life with fresh insight into its mean-
ing and placed emphasis on the apostolic and ecclesial dimen-
sions of prayer, on its relation to all those concerns for the ser-
vice of Christ that lay so close to her heart. She indeed introduced
something new within the Church, the life of prayer as a service.
Austerity in the Reform Movements
Rigorous, at times incredible, types of austerity marked some
of the reform movements in the Spain of Teresa's time. In her
Life she gives a classic description of the harsh penitential prac-
tices of St. Peter of Alcantara.36 Now, in this work of her Foun-
dations, she devotes more space than she did for the ascetic Fran-
ciscan friar to the extraordinary ascetical feats of a woman, Dona
Catalina de Cardona (28, 19-37). According to popular notions
30
St. Teresa of Avila
of the time, high perfection required rigorous austerity. In a
religious world crying for reform, such displays of self-mastery
attracted the favor of the people. When they learned of the ex-
treme penances of Dona Catalina in her dark cave near La
Roda, the people set out in large numbers to see her. The crowds
became so great that she had to be held high so that all could see
her and receive her blessing.
Austerity even made its way into the court of Philip II. It was,
in fact, the austerity of Teresa's friars that helped win for them
the favor of the king. He once defended them to the nuncio Sega
pointing out that he found it suspect for the nuncio to be op-
posing people who profess such rigorous austerity and perfec-
tion.
In houses of prayer (of recollection or eremitical life) that
arose among Franciscans, Augustinians, Dominicans, andjer-
onimites and from which the discalced movements sprang, fur-
ther steps were taken than in those of the observance to assure
that the hours dedicated to what was called mental prayer would
be many and the austerities conspicuous. External signs of this
austere life were the bare feet and the habits of coarse wool.
Teresa's nuns may have gone barefoot at first, but they soon
began to wear alpargatas, a poor type of sandal made from hemp.
Her friars continued going barefoot and only gradually turned
to alpargatas, first allowing them for the sickly.
The eremitical houses, however, did not look on preaching as
a ministry incompatible with eremitism; indeed, they saw it as a
part of eremitical living. The theory went that the greater the
austerity the more fruitful the preaching.37
In its relationship to prayer and recollection, austerity was
looked on as an aid. By quieting the activity of the exterior senses
a person enabled a kind of sixth sense to make ready for action.
In this sixth sense were grouped the spiritual powers capable of
grasping realities lying beyond matter and particularly the real-
ity of God who is pure Spirit. Osuna taught that "closing the
corporeal and exterior senses would open the soul's interior
ones."38
Sharing in the common esteem for the life of austerity and
penance, Teresa wrote enthusiastically about Peter of Alcantara
The Foundations — Introduction
31
and Catalina de Cardona. Paradoxically, though, she could not
help feeling a certain skepticism about these extremes. While
she was once thinking about the life of Catalina de Cardona and
feeling regret that her confessors did not allow her to do more,
the Lord told her that she was walking on a good and safe path.
"Do you see all the penance she does? I value your obedience
more."39 In this spirit, when speaking of the penances and dis-
ciplines performed by Catalina Sandoval y Godinez, Teresa, in
an incidental but revealing way, points out that they were so
many because the girl had no one to guide her (22, 11).
In her celebrated visit to her friars in Duruelo to examine first
hand the manner of life they had established, Teresa was in
general highly impressed. However, there were some doubts
that gnawed at her and they concerned the unsparing peniten-
tial practices. She begged the friars for moderation fearing that
the whole work could be ruined through excess (12, 12). Later,
when Gracian was in fact a novice at Pastrana he was strongly
tempted to leave because of the extreme practices to which the
novices were subjected by a young emotionally disturbed friar
who unwisely had been put in charge of them. On this occasion
Teresa wrote for advice to her learned Dominican counselor,
Domingo Banez, and subsequently made arrangements for Fray
John of the Cross to go to Pastrana and put some moderation
into the novitiate life there (23, 9).
The Madre herself was asked by Dona Leonor de Mascarenas
and the ecclesiastical superiors to go to the monastery in Alcala
founded by Maria de Jesus and try to help the nuns there to
moderate the austerities that were beginning to cause illnesses
in the community. In her Life, Teresa refers to Maria de Jesus as
a "woman who practices much penance and prayer." This was
the woman who had walked to Rome barefoot in order to obtain
the permissions she needed to found the monastery of her de-
sires, and it was she who first informed Teresa about poverty as
prescribed in the rule.40 But Teresa met with little success in
getting the twenty young Sisters to make any changes in their
life. Rigidly set in their penitential patterns, they shut out Teresa's
gentler ways. Maria de Jesus continued to go barefoot, winter as
well as summer, and to perform her other severe austerities until
32
St. Teresa of Avila
the day of her death. When one of these nuns was later asked
why the community had never kept any souvenirs of Teresa, she
matter-of-factly explained that at the time Teresa came there,
they found nothing different about her and that raptures in
their community were something common. Finally, the Domin-
ican Banez, after a couple of months, advised Teresa to go on
with her own foundations and not waste her time trying to
change them.
The Mother Foundress had observed in her own communities
that when physical strength is weakened through austerities a
kind of delightful absorption may so overpower a nun that she
will allow it to possess her for long hours and even days, not want-
ing to part with such delight. Teresa carefully demonstrates in
this work on her foundations how such absorption differs from
rapture which is short-lived and extraordinarily beneficial in its
effects. On the other hand, the long periods of time spent in the
above mentioned absorptions, she warns, are a waste; if austeri-
ties have caused the weakness, they must be reduced (ch. 6).
While pleading with her prioresses to practice discretion in
government Madre Teresa begs them not to lay the burden of
added austerities on her daughters; no prioress must think that
because she is eager and able to embrace new austerities others
in the community are also. What is important for Teresa is that
the nun does not fail in the more essential matters of the rule,
with these a nun has plenty to do (18, 6-11).
If by today's measure the austerities of the lifestyle Teresa es-
tablished might appear extreme, in her day they were often con-
sidered insufficient. In the Madre's view the balanced life of
prayer, work, and solitude, arrived at through the nuns' expe-
rience, set down and approved in her constitutions, along with
the spirituality expounded in The Way of Perfection, provided
all that was necessary for reaching the goal of the spiritual life.
This goal consists in conformity with the will of God and with all
that is therein implied; for such conformity, harsh austerities
are no more necessary than raptures. It is in the Foundations
that we find Teresa's often quoted passage regarding perfec-
tion: "The highest perfection obviously does not consist in in-
terior delights or in great raptures or in visions or in the spirit of
The Foundations — Introduction
33
prophecy but in having our will so much in conformity with
God's will that there is nothing we know He wills that we do not
want with all our desire, and in accepting the bitter as happily
as we do the delightful when we know that His Majesty desires
it" (5, 10).
The method the Council of Trent adopted for promoting the
reform of religious orders consisted in fostering the observance
of the rules and constitutions. As a preventive against laxity,
such a method was highly regarded by Teresa; but she also looked
on the observance as a preventive against excessive austerities. The
adaptability manifested in the virtues of obedience and humility
impressed her much more as means of spiritual growth than did
harshness. She puts visitators on the alert against allowing prior-
esses to add further burdens.41
In her love for obedience and in the examples she provides,
the Mother Foundress sometimes gives the impression that in
this matter, anyway, she encourages extremes, or even apparent
foolishness, somewhat in the style of what one reads in the desert
fathers. On the other hand, her enthusiasm for obedience is put
in perspective when she issues warnings against indiscretion and
offers a practical norm easy to grasp: "Anything that would be a
mortal sin when not ordered by the superior would still be one if
the superior orders it" (18, 11). She urges her nuns to consult
with learned men about how to advance with discretion. In fact,
she relates how learned men had to be called in to restrain the
nuns and explain to them the matters in which they were obliged
to obey (19, 1; 16, 3).
When Teresa met Padre Gracian for the first time, she at
once understood that he was the man who could promote this
same balance among the friars, "because some think one way,
and others another" (23, 12). In his first visitation of the friars,
"he arranged everything with such moderation and harmony
that it indeed seemed that he was helped by the Divine Majesty
and that our Lady had chosen him to help her order" (23, 13).
Desiring that her friars be good contemplatives, Teresa also
wanted them to be good spiritual directors and preachers and
that there be learned men among them. In the reform move-
ments of eremitism, there was opposition at times toward learn-
34
St. Teresa of Avila
ing and university degrees. When Teresa consulted learned
men about the founding of St. Joseph's in Avila without a fixed
income, Peter of Alcantara chided her in a letter for consulting
theologians in matters concerned with spiritual perfection.42
Nonetheless, Teresa's unequivocal policy throughout her life was
to consult learned men. So often forced by circumstances to make
vital decisions about equally alluring courses of action, she felt
sore need of light and assistance in her process of discernment.
"Never in any business related to these foundations, nor in any-
thing that happened relative to them, did I do anything or would
I have done anything . . . that I understood to go contrary to the
will of God in even one point, and this too, when I thought that in
order to succeed I would have to cover up my intentions" (27, 15).
She then shows her practical wisdom: "I proceeded according to
what my confessors advised me, for since I have been working on
these foundations, they have always been very learned men and
great servants of God, as you know" (27, 15). From the Domini-
cans and the Jesuits came these main advisors.43
In her hopes for learned men among her own friars, Teresa
feared that too much stress on austerity would discourage de-
sirable vocations among university students. And in recognition
of her ideal, the friars did in a short time set up houses in the
university cities of Alcala and Baeza so that the young members
could pursue their studies.44
After the death of Teresa, when Nicolas Doria came into
power, he expanded the nuns' constitutions and placed severe
restrictions on the ministry of the friars. Those seeking to con-
serve the Mother Foundress's spirit, such as John of the Cross
and Gracian, fell into disfavor. Beset with the fear that Madre
Teresa's spirit would be snuffed out, Gracian put up resistance
and in turn was expelled from the order. Gracian s appeals to the
king went unheard because the king looked kindly on Doria's
strong convictions about observance and austerity. Among the
nuns, Maria de San Jose and Ana de Jesus, Teresa's intimates,
also underwent punishment within the order (deposition from
office, imprisonment, and a kind of exile) for seeking to save
what their Mother Foundress had established.45
The Foundations — Introduction
35
Gracian insists in his own written story of the foundations of
the friars that Teresa was foundress of both friars and nuns.46
Doria repudiated this claim and was subsequently followed by
others who insisted that Antonio de Jesus founded the first mon-
astery of friars and that its first austere spirit was happily re-
stored by Doria. All in all, it was too much for these tough aus-
tere men to admit that they had been founded by a woman. The
pervasive thinking went that since men are stronger than
women they can practice more austerities; thus the nuns could
only share in the perfection of the friars.
The World
The term "world" appears frequently enough in Teresa's writ-
ings, but always in a pejorative sense as an irreconcilable enemy
of the spiritual person. With this term, then, Teresa refers to only
a part of the reality nowadays comprised in the world. Without
hesitation she proclaims openly the essential goodness of things
and how they show forth the splendor of the Creator. And one
of her major themes is the beauty and astounding capacity of
the human person made in the image and likeness of God.
When using the expression "world," Teresa is limiting her
reference to that sum of realities that opposes or impedes God's
work. To her eyes the world appears almost as a real person
against whom God struggles for dominion over the soul. Like a
liar, trying to deceive Christians and separate them from God,
the world robs them of peace and inner serenity of soul. Teresa,
in her writings, instinctively speaks to the world and chides it for
its deceit. She is inclined to measure spirituality in terms of dis-
tance from it: "Blessed the young man and blessed the young
girl who have merited so much from God that at the age in which
people are usually overpowered by the world, they trampled on
it" (10, 12).
From honor and money flows the sap that keeps the world
alive. In sixteenth -century Castile honor was the very soul of
social behavior. Money, also, played such a pivotal role and was
36
St. Teresa of Avila
so much tied up with honor that the two realities could be re-
duced simply to honor.
In the Teresian writings, the word "honor" bears different
shades of meaning. Mainly, it speaks of prestige, of all that raises
one above another. The important thing was not that persons
try to live up to the renown attributed to them or to what digni-
fied them in the sight of others; the important thing was that
others say these things and believe them whether they existed in
reality or not. With these snobbish concerns the Spaniard be-
came a slave to others, fearful of what they might say.
Since honor was essentially an attribute of nobility, an ex-
ceptionally high value was placed on birth and rank. At the top
of the ladder came the grandees, a group drawn from the oldest
families of Castile and Aragon. One of their special distinctions
was the privilege of keeping their heads covered in the presence
of the king. Immediately below them came other titled aristo-
crats, the titulos, who were the dukes, marquises, and counts.
The lesser aristocracy, whose members distinguished themselves
with the title "Don" were called either caballeros (knights or
gentlemen) or hidalgos. Their status gave them exemption from
taxation. Among these aristocrats, some were rich and others
extremely poor; some came from ancient families, while others
were recently ennobled bourgeois.
The social and practical advantages attached to the posses-
sion of hidalguia made it an object of universal desire; heraldry,
emblazoned everywhere, became the indispensable key to all the
subtleties of status. Vast amounts of time and effort went into the
construction, or fabrication, of genealogical tables that would
prove the existence of aristocratic ancestors. Despite the em-
phasis on ancestry, though, from 1520 on privileges of hidalguia
were put up for sale as a means of enhancing a dwindling royal
treasury. Wealth then enabled rich mercantile families to ally
themselves with families of respectable aristocratic lineage.
With so much value placed on birth and rank, the ordinary
members of society sought compensation, and they found it in
the doctrine of limpieza de sangre (purity of blood). They reasoned
that it was preferable to be born of humble but pure Christian
parentage than to be a caballero of "suspicious" background,
The Foundations — Introduction
37
Moorish or Jewish. Pure ancestry provided for those in the lower
ranks of society what noble ancestry did for those in the higher
ranks. Honor was achieved by proving the purity of one's an-
cestry.
In worldliness, Teresa beheld the eager quest for prestige
and possessions. "What friendship there would be among all if
there were no self-interest about honor and money! I think this
absence of self-interest would solve all problems."47 The quest
for prestige and money puts one in opposition to God's work. In-
herent in such a quest lies a deceptive centering on earth, on
passing joys, on the superficial and limited, on that which
comes to an end. These things offer nothing in exchange for the
sublime gifts of God's friendship. But the fundamental problem
of the world, understood in this sense, is ignorance of revela-
tion, of the word of God. "All the harm that comes to the world
comes from its not knowing the truths of Scripture in clarity
and truth."48
All-important to noble families was an heir to their proper-
ties. Chapter 10 in these Foundations gives a striking example of
the situation. If some daughters were forced to enter convents
for the sake of avoiding family disgrace, others for the sake of
preserving or adding to family prestige were prevented from
entering. The son and the daughters of Dona Maria de Acuna,
sister of the count of Buendia and widow of the governor of
Castile, met with strong opposition in the family when they
decided to renounce their inheritance and enter religious life.
The lively story of the twelve-year-old Dona Casilda de Padilla's
escape from a family- arranged marriage into the cloister leaves
a reader nowadays half amazed and half amused. Teresa shares
with us her resulting reflections from the incident. "It is a great
pity the world is now so unfortunate and blind that it seems to
parents their honor lies in not letting the dung of this world's
goods be forgotten and in not remembering that sooner or later
these things will come to an end." Then, enlarging on the matter,
she goes on to lament, "Such parents want to sustain their own
vanities at a cost to their children, and very boldly take from God
souls that He wants for Himself (10, 9). 49
Another mark of honor or prestige, which became an enviable
38
St. Teresa of Avila
means to social acceptance, was a chapel for burial. In Toledo,
in one instance, Teresa found herself in a sticky tangle when
members of the nobility asked for the chapel after she had al-
ready promised it to the Ramirez family, who were merchants
and probably conversos, converted Jews. It is in the context of
dealing with this issue that she makes her classic statement: "I
have always esteemed virtue more than lineage" (15, 15). Teresa,
in fact, received so many opinions from everybody about what
to do that she did not know how to proceed and began to waver.
The Lord Himself intervened and gave the light she needed in a
manner that He often used in enlightening her. By means of a
locution He insisted that lineage and social status mattered not
at all in the judgments of God. He severely reprimanded Teresa
telling her that "concerns of this sort were not for those who had
already despised the world" (15, 16).
As for the Mother Foundress's own dealings with money, she
first thought, as mentioned, of founding her monasteries with a
fixed income that would derive from interest on investments
made by the founding benefactor in state, municipal, or private
enterprises. The nuns, then, would be free of worries about
their basic needs. Madre Teresa's personal love of poverty is ob-
vious from the Life in which she says "for a long time I had been
desiring that it would be possible for me to go begging for love of
God and not have a house or anything." But such lofty ideals
could not be imposed on others: "I feared that if the Lord didn't
give others these desires their lives would be unhappy."50 In the
end, Teresa opted for a mode of action contrary to what learned
men had advised her and followed instead, with the encourage-
ment of St. Peter of Alcantara, the growing urge coming from
within to found her monastery in poverty, without a fixed and
secure income. With entire dependence on God, she placed her
first house under His providence. As things turned out, her com-
panions also came to know the special joy that can accompany
poverty. The harsh experience of poverty they underwent in
rich Toledo was a communal one and became "the cause of a
sweet contemplation" (15, 14). From that time Teresa's desires to
be poor increased. "And I felt freedom in having so little esteem
for temporal goods, for lack of these goods brings an increase
The Foundations— Introduction
39
of interior good. Certainly, such a lack carries in its wake another
kind of fullness and tranquility" (15, 15).
Madre Teresa's ideals about poverty, in fact, caused her much
more difficulty in obtaining permission to make foundations. In
addition, as her desires for poverty increased, her need to deal
with money also seems to have increased. She wrote to her brother
Lorenzo: "So now that I have come to abhor money and busi-
ness matters, the Lord wills that I deal with nothing else, which
is no small cross."51
A problem for Teresa's ideal of poverty, however, lurked in
the small towns. In them, it was simply impossible to survive
without a fixed income. The Madre first resisted Dona Luisa de
la Cerda's request for a monastery in the little town of Malagon.
Determined to get her way, Dona Luisa found some allies among
the theologians and especially in one of Teresa's confessors,
Domingo Banez. Concerning her resistance to a foundation in
Alba de Tormes with a fixed income, Teresa was again chal-
lenged by Banez. As a matter of fact, he actually scolded Teresa,
as she explains: "He reprimanded me and told me that since the
Council had given permission it would not be right to forego the
foundation because of a need for an income" (20, 1). Banez
went on arguing that whether or not a monastery had an income
made little difference with regard to the holiness of the nuns. In
succumbing to the Dominicans arguments, Teresa did so only
under the condition that those foundations made with a fixed
income be an exception justified by the economic situation of
the place where the monastery was to be located. She could never
bring herself to the idea of founding monasteries with a fixed in-
come in cities where there was wealth.
When she was called upon to found in small towns, that is,
with an income, she was carefully exacting about the endow-
ment so that no economic problems for the nuns would surface
in the future. For example, with respect to the foundation in
Alba de Tormes, she writes: "We underwent much difficulty in
trying to come to an agreement. For in the case of monasteries
founded with an income, my goal always was that they have
enough to keep the nuns from dependence on relatives, or on
anyone, and that food and clothing and everything necessary be
40
St. Teresa of Avila
given to them in the house, and that the sick be very well cared
for" (20, 13). Happy to trust in God, she never worried about
those monasteries founded in poverty, but the ones that were
dependent on a fixed income for support presented her with a
different picture. She figured that if the established income
were too small, the monastery would be doomed. In the end,
seven of the monasteries were founded with an income: Malagon,
Pastrana, Alba de Tormes, Beas, Caravaca, Villanueva de la
Jara, and Soria.
To live off investments was the dream of every powerful Cas-
tilian of Teresa's day. Money in land, in urban real estate, or in
the most active elements of the royal estate proved to be the
safest investment. Work was not respected as a source of wealth.
It was counter to the current of the times and contrary to the
practice in other monasteries, then, that the Mother Foundress
wanted her communities to survive with the help of income gained
through work, in addition to that coming from donations.
The kind of work recommended by Madre Teresa was the
peaceful, uncomplicated labor of spinning, without the pressure
of deadlines. But women's work, especially, was poorly paid,
and a perusal of account books shows that the income derived
from the nuns' work amounted to little when compared to the
donations. The latter became the real means of support for the
communities. In any case, though the usual donations and the
income from labor took care of the nuns' daily needs, additional
income was needed to cover the cost of other eventualities such
as improvements on a house, erecting new ones, or paying off
debts. In these latter instances, generous benefactors usually
came forward.
In her Foundations, Teresa makes a point of mentioning
benefactors by name so that "the nuns living now, and those
who are to come after, remember them in their prayers" (31,
29). It was her experience that the Lord always provided for
them in their needs by awakening some to come to their aid.
"When it is known that a monastery is founded in poverty, there
is nothing to fear because everyone helps. But when people
think it has an income, to be without one is dangerous and the
monastery will be left temporarily without means" (31, 48).
The Foundations — Introduction
41
Dowries made up another important contribution to the com-
munity's financial needs. According to the practice of the times,
a woman entering religious life was required to bring a dowry.
The inequality of status in Teresa's former monastery, the In-
carnation, was rooted in the difference in dowries. As a conse-
quence, Teresa shows a certain scorn of dowries. She exhorts
her nuns never to refuse to accept any applicants because of
their lack of money for a dowry. "On the contrary," she says, "I
had fear about those with wealth, but the poor filled and en-
larged my spirit with a happiness so great I wept for joy" (27, 13).
Though the contribution of a dowry was encouraged, Teresa's
trust in the Lord allowed for much flexibility. After her death,
in the chapter of Valladolid, 1587, the friars established a fixed
rate of five hundred ducats for the dowry. Maria de San Jose
lamented the law, saying it was foreign to her Holy Mother's
spirit.
During the dramatic years of her activity, Madre Teresa faced
countless legal actions and financial worries. Never slackening
in her efforts, she offered advice on scores of proceedings and
profitable investments, averting hardships here, encouraging
intercommunity assistance there. She was forced to immerse
herself in oceans of red tape, study intricately complex con-
tracts, whose clauses had to be read and reread in every detail.
Buying a house required shrewdness. We get a picture of the lat-
ter when the Madre was looking for houses to buy in Palencia.
"Finally, I went to see them and also those of Our Lady of the
Street, although not with the intention of buying these latter
but only so that the owner of the others would not think that we
had no other choice" (29, 15).
Holiness did not prohibit the Mother Foundress from rejoicing
over a bargain. In a letter to Ambrosio Mariano, she shares her
joy that the house they bought in Seville for six thousand ducats
was worth more than twenty thousand.52 In writing of the trou-
ble-ridden Burgos foundation, she praises the diligence and in-
telligence of her good friend Doctor Aguiar who by insisting on
secrecy was able to buy a house at a price that in the minds of
many "was no less than a miracle" (31, 39). In their experience
of poverty in Toledo at the outset, the nuns had only three or
42
St. Teresa of Avila
four ducats to their name. Teresa shows her pleasure when with
the help of Alonso Alvarez they were able to buy an attractive
house, "one of the nicest in Toledo, " for twelve thousand ducats
(15, 6, 17).
The community account books in Medina del Campo offer an
idea of income and expenditures. The income for the month of
August in 1571 was 5,171 maravedis, the disbursements amounted
to 17,003 maravedis. In September the income was 12,780 mara-
vedis and the disbursements amounted to 10,719 maravedis.
The surplus for the month of September came from an extra-
ordinary donation by the merchant Juan de Medina who sur-
prised the community with the sum of twenty ducats. The ex-
penditures went mainly for food: bread, eggs, oil, fruit, fish,
rice, and greens. An extraordinary expense could unbalance the
budget. These would include things like the cost of a trip for
superiors, the Mother Foundress's own journeys, sending mes-
sengers, repairs on the roof or on the wall.
As for the value of the ducat and maravedi, the two sums of
money most often mentioned by Teresa, they might best be mea-
sured by what could be purchased with them. The ducat was the
most common gold coin and was worth 375 maravedis. Using the
year 1560 as a point of reference, a liter of oil cost 43 maravedis, a
dozen of eggs 35 maravedis, and a kilo of bread about 6 maravedis.
In all these matters with regard to money Teresa's persistent
conviction was that God will never "fail those who serve Him, if
they live as moderately as we do," in communities where "the
nuns are so few and help themselves through the labor of their
hands" (18, l).53 An astounding testimony to the validity of her
conviction is the fact that all of her seventeen foundations are still
in existence today, four centuries later; some of the communities
are living in the same houses in which the foundations were
made.
On Making a Foundation
In making a foundation, Teresa developed her own method
of procedure in which she adapted to circumstances. In founda-
The Foundations — Introduction
43
tions made in poverty, before starting off on the journey, she
endeavored to rent a house that would serve as a temporary
dwelling until a house, or houses, suitable for a monastery could
be bought. In foundations made with an income, the nuns first
lived in the quarters of the founding benefactress until adap-
tations in the house destined to be the monastery were made.
Teresa arrived at this method through painful experience, as
in Valladolid where the first property turned out to be unhealthy
and too far from the city. There was another important factor
that obliged her to begin by renting. Teresa puts it bluntly: "I
didn't have a cent to buy one with" (21, 2). In her boundless
trust, she believed that once they were established in a rented
house, the Lord would provide. Her subsequent experiences
gave support to her belief: "For the Lord Himself, as seen in the
other foundations, chooses in each place someone to help Him"
(29, 8).
After the embarrassing muddle in Medina del Campo, her
first foundation away from Avila, she concluded that it was best
to take with her at the start as few nuns as possible. The Mother
Foundress and her few nuns would then be accompanied by a
chaplain and other helpers, such as Padre Julian de Avila and
Antonio Gaytan. They also brought along some basic furnish-
ings; straw, for example, "which was the first thing I provided
for the founding of the house, because in having straw we would
have a bed" (19, 4).
Moreover, she arranged the daily journeys so that the little
group would reach its destination in the secret of night. These
nighttime entries proved most advantageous. Mainly, they en-
abled Teresa and her companions to prepare a room, a place
that she often euphemistically refers to as a church, where Mass
could be said immediately the following morning so as to make
the foundation official. By thus making the foundation secretly
and by surprising the townspeople with a fait accompli, she was
able to preclude opposition, especially the usual opposition
from other begrudging religious orders.
Often, then, the nuns spent the first night working hurriedly
instead of giving themselves some much needed rest after their
tiring travels. Throughout the story of the foundations, it is
44
St. Teresa of Avila
obvious that Teresa entered wholeheartedly into this and other
work and seems to have relished it. "When there was question of
work to be done I enjoyed being the first" (19, 6). Some of her
humorous accounts in this respect have become classic.
Once the foundation was established in this precarious way,
the Mother Foundress had to enter the arena of house search-
ing. Sometimes she met with no trouble, as when in Valladolid
she had the help of a friend and benefactress as influential as
Maria de Mendoza, the widow of the brilliant and skillful Fran-
cisco de los Cobos, under whose gentle guidance the government
of Spain had run smoothly for some twenty years in the absence of
Charles V. At other times, wealthy people, or friends, were no
help; in Toledo the poor student Andrada found in a short while
what Teresa's wealthy friends could not. The search for a house
in Salamanca lasted three years. When it finally seemed that
all had been arranged, the owner turned up so enraged that at
the time of Teresa's writing on the matter the sale of the house
had not yet been finalized, so many were the complications he
created.
Opposition to Madre Teresa's buying a house sometimes came
in the form of lawsuits. In Segovia the nuns were beset with law-
suits from the Franciscans, the Mercedarians, and the cathedral
chapter. The cathedral chapter feared losing out on an annuity,
and the religious orders feared competition for the charity of
the people of Segovia. The only means the nuns found of extri-
cating themselves in this latter instance was money. "Explained
in this way," Teresa remarks, "it all seems like nothing; but go-
ing through it was something else" (21, 8-10).
In Seville, the Franciscan friars so contested Teresa's buying a
house near them that when the nuns moved in they did so fear-
fully at night, and "every shadow they saw seemed to be a friar."
In Teresa's reflections she moves from her own experience of
human weakness to relief in the thought that her fears came in
the cause of good. "O Jesus! How many fears I have suffered be-
fore taking possession of these foundations! I reflect on the fact
that if one can feel so much fear in doing something good for the
service of God, what must be the fear of those who do evil" (25,
7-8). Also, as a kind of compensation for the opposition of other
The Foundations — Introduction
45
religious orders, the Madre makes a point of mentioning the
ever present assistance of the Dominicans and the Jesuits.
Sometimes, the owner raised the price when he saw that the
Mother Foundress was interested. In Palencia the proprietor
asked a high price when quite sure that the nuns would buy;
when he was certain, he raised it another three hundred ducats.
But his little trick backfired, for it enabled Teresa to decide on
another house that had captured her interest and which the
Lord, through a locution, requested her to buy.
It ought to be mentioned, parenthetically, that in many prac-
tical matters Teresa experienced extraordinary help from the
Lord through locutions. She continued to receive them up to
the end of her life. Her custom with regard to them, though, was
to consult a confessor about the locution, always determined to
follow his advice even if it went contrary to the locution (29, 21 ;
31, 4). 54 A powerful example of this determination is the in-
stance in which though our Lord told her to make a foundation
in Madrid, she went to Seville instead at Gracian's orders. She
believed she had more certitude of doing God's will by obeying
her superior than by obeying her locution.55
Returning to the matter of buying a house, in Burgos an out-
cry arose not because Teresa got a house but because she got one
at such a low price. This she was able to do through the astute
dealings of her friend Doctor Aguiar, after which the people dis-
gustedly moaned that the priest appointed to sell the house had
practically given it away.
Troubles worsened when the opposition came from diocesan
administrators. In two cases, archbishops opposed her. In Se-
ville, the archbishop, after having promised much, refused just
as much once the nuns had arrived. Teresa came close to re-
turning to Castile without making the foundation. Only after
the archbishop's personal visit with Teresa did he begin to sup-
port the nuns. More painful and disturbing was the conduct of
the archbishop of Burgos. Strangely and inexplicably, he would
think of a new requirement as soon as a previous one was met.
"The archbishop always said that he desired this foundation
more than anyone. And I believe it because he is such a good
Christian that he wouldn't speak anything but the truth; but in
46
St. Teresa of Avila
his deeds it didn't appear that he desired this since he de-
manded things that seemed impossible for us to comply with"
(30, 31).
In measuring the difficulties she experienced in each founda-
tion, the Mother Foundress concludes that St. Joseph's in Avila
was the hardest, followed by Seville (26, 2). Had she made the
assessment again after her last in Burgos, she would surely have
included it in the category of the most difficult. Nonetheless,
every one of her foundations, with the exception of Soria, which
got off on the right foot from the first moment, amounted to a
physical, psychological, and spiritual trial for the foundress.
"The Lord desired that no foundation be made without some
trial in one way or another" (24, 15).
In a time when churches were being destroyed and the Blessed
Sacrament taken away, a strong motivation for Teresa was the
consolation she felt in seeing another church where the Blessed
Sacrament could be reserved. "For although we often do not
take note, it ought to be a great consolation for us that Jesus
Christ, true God and true man, is present in the most Blessed
Sacrament in many places" (18, 5). 56 In Madre Teresa's mind
the people in a town were actually receiving a precious favor
from God when one of her foundations was made. The thought
that there might be too many monasteries never bothered her.
She firmly held that where there are many monasteries God
brings about great blessings and that he has the power to sustain
many as well as few (29, 27; 31, 13).
In her best-informed attempts, however, she had many con-
flicting opinions to weigh. "O Jesus!" she complains, "what a
trial it is to have to contend with many opinions." As for nega-
tive advice, "where there is need one takes poorly any advice
that doesn't provide some help" (21, 9; 19, 8). When immersed
in controversy and doubt, her one desire was always to do the
will of God. She declares that in all the business matters and
everything else related to her foundations she never did or would
have done anything contrary to the will of God, which did not
remove the necessity of frequently choosing secrecy as the best
mode of procedure. "If we begin discussing opinions, the devil
disturbs everything." But in her mind there is never any ques-
The Foundations — Introduction
47
tion of having no faults. "Perhaps I am mistaken and have done
many things wrong without realizing it; and the imperfections
are countless" (27, 15; 19, 8). In telling her story, she tempers
her account of those who opposed her and tries to excuse them.
As for those who shared as benefactors and helpers in her work
for the Lord, she is untiring in expressing her gratitude to them.
If taking possession of a foundation had to be done secretly,
the time came later for the public inauguration, an act usually
surrounded by festive solemnity. It was the moment for reserv-
ing the Blessed Sacrament in a definitive way and for rejoicing
in God's triumph over the devil; it was a moment of victory for
the nuns, definitely able now to live in solitude with God.
The Mother Foundress never cared to leave a new foundation
until the major obstacles were surmounted, the nuns' basic needs
were provided for, and everything was in order. She resisted pres-
sures from the princess of Eboli who insisted that she come to
Pastrana when things were not yet completely settled in Toledo.
In reference to a superior's order that she leave Salamanca to
become prioress at the Incarnation, she writes: "I never would, or
did, leave any monastery until it was in fit condition, had a spirit
of recollection, and was adapted according to my wishes" (19, 6).
To her new foundations, Teresa of Jesus never failed to carry
images of Christ and His saints. These sacred images fell in line
with her own devotion and were for her a magnificent means of
awakening love. One of her joys in life was to adorn her churches
and hermitages with statues and paintings of gospel scenes. In
Toledo with only three or four ducats to her name, she bought
two straw mattresses and a woolen blanket; the rest of the money
was spent on two paintings of Christ in His sufferings (15, 6).
These paintings have been preserved to this day at the nuns'
monastery in Toledo. Similarly, in the other foundations she
made, there still exist various statues or paintings that Teresa
brought with her or venerated devoutly; in some instances she
hired artists to paint scenes on certain subjects. The well known
Crist o de los Lindos Ojos, in a hermitage at St. Joseph's in Avila,
was painted in accord with a vision of Christ that Teresa had re-
ceived. For the Mother Foundress these images were like por-
traits of the persons she loved.
48
St. Teresa of Avila
Teresa's mysticism was never snobbish. Even after her rich
spiritual life had grown to full flower and she was experiencing
profound enlightenment from within, she esteemed these sim-
ple means to love. In fact, her mystical life, we might say, be-
stowed on these means a new power, and in turn she received
more from them. The mystic understands experientially the
divine realities and will often sense a stronger need to give out-
ward expression to this understanding.
Travel
The Carmelite chapter held in Piacenza, Italy, in 1575 at-
tempted to confine the expansion of its discalced friars in Spain
and maintain control. At the same time, it made a decision that
was not to be published but communicated to Madre Teresa by
her provincial, Angel de Salazar. For reasons that will be ex-
plained later, Teresa was ordered by the chapter to stay in one
Castilian monastery and not leave it. She interpreted the com-
mand as a form of imprisonment, a conclusion she came to be-
cause "there is no nun who for necessary matters pertaining to
the good of the order cannot be ordered by the provincial to go
from one place to another" (27, 20). The irony of the situation,
not so unusual, was that Teresa now received blame for doing
what she had been asked to do.
However, in addition to the troubles springing up within the
order on account of the Madre's friars, the thinking in the Church
after the Council of Trent had changed. Pius V in his interpre-
tation of the directives of the Council had imposed strict cloister
on all nuns. The nuncio Ormaneto, although very friendly to-
ward Teresa, began to get qualms about the Mother Foundress's
travels throughout Spain. In letters to Gracian, he confided
that he was not wholly pleased with her exits from the monastery
and requested some kind of gentle solution that would not sad-
den "this good and holy Mother."
He misjudged "this good and holy Mother." She was not sad-
dened by the order given her from the chapter in Piacenza not
to leave her monastery; she was overjoyed. It was precisely what
she had been longing for: to end her days in quiet.
The Foundations — Introduction
49
Travel for Teresa, with her bad health, had often been a veri-
table torment. In those days, even with good health, there was
nothing very pleasurable about traveling. In her story, she ordi-
narily avoids detailed descriptions of the hardships involved in
her journeys, but undoubtedly the Mother Foundress felt aver-
sion toward them. In a passing remark she explains: "I am not
recording in these foundations the great hardships endured in
the traveling: the cold, the heat, the snow. . . ; sometimes get-
ting lost, at other times, being very sick and having a fever" (18,
4; 27, 17). Pointing out that she could have mentioned many
bad incidents that occurred on the journeys, Teresa does go into
some specifics when writing of the trip to Seville. Here the reader
learns both what the travelers suffered from the scorching heat
and what Teresa in addition endured from her sorry health. As
for the latter, she laments: "What a thing sickness is! When
we're healthy, it's easy to put up with all kinds of inconveniences"
(24, 8). In this journey, too, the celebrated crossing of the
Guadalquivir took place. In recounting the trip to Burgos, she
again describes more about the traveling conditions. This time,
in addition to her fever and a throat so sore that she couldn't
eat, the travelers were chilled to the bone by the cold and the
heavy rains. The wagons were forever getting stuck in the mud,
and at one point all came near to being killed when crossing a
flooded bridge.
A number of times on their journeys, they all got lost. Once,
the guides, not really knowing the way, misguided Teresa's little
group along routes not made for wagons causing the wagons to
tip over. Finally, when the guides had got so completely lost that
they did not know where to turn next, they excused themselves
saying that they had other things to do now and that it was time
for them to leave. The danger of getting lost increased, of course,
after dark. The nuns' frequent chaplain for these journeys, Julian
de Avila, tells in his biography of Teresa how once on a trip to
Salamanca the mule carrying the money got lost after dark.57
One time, Teresa herself got lost from the group.
"And, oh! The inns!", Teresa exclaims. They could be totally
without comfort, overcrowded, dirty, and swarming with vermin.
The clientele were often rowdy, perverse, and foul-mouthed;
sometimes the friars and nuns were made sport of. Nor could
50
St. Teresa of Avila
anyone ever be certain that an inn would have food to provide
for hungry travelers. On the way to Seville, Teresa and her com-
panions stopped at the inn of Albino hoping to soothe their in-
tense thirst and satisfy their hunger, only to find that the inn was
out of water and that the sole remaining food was some salty sar-
dines. In a later letter, Teresa writes from Seville: "It's hot, but
that's easier to endure than the inn at Albino." Once, in trying
to think of something terrible to compare hell to, she opts for a
bad inn.58
The means of travel used by Teresa and her companions in-
cluded, with the exception of the litter, all those used in Spain at
the time: donkey, mule, horse, covered wagon, coach and car-
riage. The one preferred and usually used by her was the covered
wagon; it kept the nuns hidden from the curiosity of the people.
When necessary, she made no fuss and used the coach, a more
fashionable and luxurious form of travel favored by the wealthy.
It could be drawn by either horses or mules. This was a means
offered to Teresa when the business matter or foundation bore
some relation to the aristocracy. The coaches she had use of at
various times included, for example, those belonging to the
Mendozas, the family of the bishop of Avila, to Dona Luisa de la
Cerda, founding benefactress of Malagon, to the princess of
Eboli, for the foundation in Pastrana, and to the people of Vil-
lanueva de la Jara, who sent a coach to bring the Mother Found-
ress from Malagon. By far the best journey of all turned out to
be the one to Soria for which Teresa had three coaches at her
disposal, provided by Dona Beatriz de Beamonte and the bish-
ops of Osma and Palencia. Although the coach could be ideal
for short journeys on level and dry terrain, on a winter journey
in snow and heavy rain, it could become an added burden. Such
was the case in the miserable trip to Burgos in the month of Jan-
uary. For the last, and especially unpleasant, journey of her life,
to Alba de Tormes, while she was already suffering from her
final illness, Teresa was given the most luxurious vehicle she had
known, the carriage of the duchess of Alba; but her health had
gone beyond the state in which anything like that could be en-
joyed.
Madre Teresa also learned what it was to travel by donkey in
The Foundations — Introduction
51
the middle of December, which she had to do so as to carry out
some orders from a superior. A few other times she also traveled
by donkey. But, ordinarily, when not journeying by wagon or
coach, she rode the mule and was exposed to the heat of the sun
or the cold winds of winter. Her visit to Duruelo in the midst of
August was made by mule. Gracian, in fact, has left word of
Madre Teresa's skill in handling a mule. What he did not leave
on record but which we know from other sources is that he him-
self was not unused to being thrown from his mule. Teresa once
jokingly suggested that they tie him to the saddle.
A pervading spirit marked all of Teresa's journeys: she was
traveling for an ideal. Creating her own style of travel, she moved
through Spain making foundations. What she in reality did was
transfer the community life of Carmel into the covered wagon,
joining to this life inside the wagon a system of good relation-
ships with the group of helping companions outside of it. Inside,
the group had their prioress, their schedule of prayer, a water
clock, a tiny bell, their breviaries, holy water, a crucifix and
some statues of our Lady, St. Joseph, or the Infant Jesus. Outside,
the small group included the wagon drivers and perhaps a
nobleman or a merchant or some other friend ready to lend a
helping hand when needed; finally, there was the chaplain who
would celebrate Mass in whatever little church they might hap-
pen upon along the way.
Inside, the Sisters had their times for laughing and joking—
they were joyful solitaries— and writing and singing verses so as
to help pass the long days; they also recited the Hours of the
breviary and observed periods of silence. Outside, the men had
to be sure they were taking the right roads, keep the mules in
line, sometimes hire a barge to cross a river, or settle for dam-
ages, or retrace a road taken by mistake. The clergy and friars
among them tried to maintain peace.
The muleteers were usually charmed and inspired by the
Mother Foundress who was so solicitous for everyone's needs.
But now and again they reverted to their old selves and resisted
her pious reflections. Once after a full-day's journey in heavy
rains, with no protection and unable to find a place of lodging
after miles and miles of journey, the group reached an inn at
52
St. Teresa of Avila
nightfall only to find that there was nothing for lighting the
lamps and no food. In addition, the roof was so full of leaks that
the water came in everywhere even on top of the beds. Teresa, in
an attempt to lift everyone's spirits, exclaimed: "Come now, take
heart, these are days very meritorious for gaining heaven." The
mule driver, soaked to the skin and unimpressed, responded: "I
could have also gained heaven by staying home."
On approaching an inn, Madre Teresa would send someone
ahead to order food and to reserve rooms. One of the rooms had
to be sufficiently large to permit the nuns to stay together, and all
their needs were to be placed there. On leaving the wagon, the
nuns lowered their veils; once in their room, they closed the door,
and a portress was appointed. In those inns where the nuns were
unable to have a room for themselves, blankets were brought in
and hung up so as to allow them their privacy.59
Illnesses
From her youth until the moment of her death, Teresa was as-
sailed by bodily illnesses; sickness was one of the great battles of
her life. Keenly observant, she has written of these illnesses with
impressive objectivity, precise description, and great simplicity.
When in her early twenties, already a professed nun in the mon-
astery of the Incarnation, Dona Teresa de Ahumada began to
suffer from a febrile illness, which was later seriously aggravated
by some dubious methods of cure used by a quack in Becedas.
Convulsions and a coma of four-days' duration followed; only
slowly did she afterward recover. A critical analysis of the illness
from Teresa's description and the testimony of eyewitnesses
makes it possible to conclude now that the most probable cause
was brucellosis, with complications of meningoencephalitis and
neuritis.60 This illness can come to an end spontaneously with-
out leaving any serious neurological problems; nonetheless,
Teresa's physical well-being was affected negatively. Her bad
health, though, never interfered substantially with her capacity for
intellectual and organizational work or for full spiritual growth.
Undoubtedly, the countless trials and consequent stress that
The Foundations — Introduction
53
Teresa had to endure in her mystical life and her life of service
as foundress must have taken their toll and contributed to her
illnesses. Her own awareness of this possibility seems clear
enough in some words of comfort she wrote to Maria de San Jose
who was at the time in the midst of certain unpleasant troubles in
Seville: "I was sorry to hear of the heart touble you have, which is
very painful. But I'm not surprised, for your trials have been
terrible and you are very much alone. Though the Lord has
granted us the favor of giving you the virtue and courage to bear
these trials, you cannot help feeling their physical effects."61
A further difficulty in the Mother Foundress's case, exacer-
bating an already delicate condition, was the penchant to take
lightly any need for rest and care. It is somewhat surprising to us
that the doctor had to tell her that her head would be in a better
condition if she did not stay up until two in the morning writing
letters and also warn her never to write after midnight.62
If her trials could affect her physical state, her bodily illnesses,
by the same token, could affect her psyche. She confesses: "Often
I complain to our Lord about how much the poor soul shares in
the illness of the body. It seems the soul can do nothing but abide
by the laws of the body and all its needs and changes" (29, 2).
To add to her infirmities, on Christmas eve in 1577, Teresa fell
down the stairs at St. Joseph's in Avila and broke her arm. Since it
did not set properly, a well known but unlicensed practitioner
from Medina del Campo performed an osteoclasis. In thus break-
ing her bone again so as to correct the deformity, a most painful
procedure, he not only failed to remedy the matter but made
things worse. Teresa's arm was left maimed and useless; for the
rest of her life she needed help, even for simple tasks such as
dressing and undressing.
If Madre Teresa shied away from caring for herself, her own
experience of bodily infirmities and spiritual trials heightened
her capacity to feel compassion for other suffering people. In a
letter to Gracian, speaking of how a soul can have no better sus-
tenance than trials, she also makes it clear that this conviction
does not remove the pain of seeing others suffer. "I mean there
must be a whole world of difference between suffering oneself
and seeing one's neighbor suffer."63 Thus, she orders that the
54
St. Teresa of Avila
sick, especially, should be cared for with fullness of love, concern
for their comfort, and compassion. Healthy nuns should be
ready to deprive themselves rather than allow the sick to go
without some deeds of kindness.
One wonders at times how much awareness of mental and
bodily hygiene was present in the ascetical practices of sixteenth-
century spirituality. With regard to her nuns, Teresa does show
a decided concern for monastic hygiene. She wants her founda-
tions to be made in healthy surroundings, requires good health
in those entering her communities, and values it in the prioress,
or at least in the subprioress if the prioress is sickly. She recom-
mends more than six hours of sleep for her nuns. Insisting on
cleanliness, she demands it particularly in the care of the sick.64
Teresa's writings abound with comments on a variety of ill-
nesses: tertian and quartan fevers, heart ailments, tuberculosis,
vomitings of blood, headaches, lightheadedness, stomach-aches,
breast cancer, chills, colds, the plague, inflammation of the liver,
gout, sciatica, typhus, tumors, side-aches, shoulder- aches, palsy,
stone, rheumatism, toothaches, skin rashes, and more. She agilely
and correctly employs the contemporary medical terminology.
She also demonstrates a good familiarity with the therapeutics
of her day. The different remedies about which she speaks and
gives advice have their basis in the sixteenth- century pharmaco-
poeia: orange-flower water, sarsaparilla, nuts, coriander, rhu-
barb, dog rose, lavender, and so on. In a doctor's written account
from those times we get a glimpse of the use of these remedies:
"Coriander is good but not too good. Rhubarb is used as a eupep-
tic, purgative, and against worms. Dog rose because of its rich-
ness in tannic acid is employed as an astringent and against diar-
rhea; lavender is applied in cases of rheumatism and on bruises,
taken in tincture as a stimulant, and used as a disinfectant in
fumigating." If what she wrote in letters and elsewhere about the
symptoms, remedies, and treatment for illnesses presupposes
close observation and well informed capabilities, Teresa never
tried to practice medicine on her own account but always showed
a respect for the science of medicine and for doctors. She would
often point out that a doctor prescribed a particular remedy for
her or give the advice to talk a matter over with the doctor. She
The Foundations — Introduction
55
was careful, as well, to distinguish between light ailments and
something serious. Fever gave the warning sign for concern.65
In her detailed account of the incredible illnesses of Dona
Catalina de Sandoval y Godinez, Teresa manifests the impor-
tance she places on getting the facts straight. Despite all her own
experiences with illness, she was so astounded by the many things
told to her of Dona Catalina's bodily sufferings that she in-
quired herself of the doctor so as to check the facts. In speaking
of these illnesses of Dona Catalina, Teresa lists as well some of
the healing methods of the times: bloodletting, cupping, cau-
terization, and pouring salt on wounds. Some of these remedies
were extremely painful (22, 14-19).
As for mental and emotional illnesses, the Mother Foundress
uses the term "melancholy" for the whole gamut of them. Chap-
ter seven of the Foundations amounts to a little treatise on mel-
ancholy. The reader is amazed at the sharpness of its observa-
tions and the extent of its understanding of the human psyche;
this from one who had not even the most elemental training or
reading knowledge from books on medicine. Attributed to one
of the four bodily humors, melancholy (black bile in excess) was
in those times considered the cause of mental and emotional
dysfunction. Teresa's little treatise on melancholy is a kind of
precursor of later Spanish works on the subject. Even Andres
Velazquez's Libro de la Melancolia, published in Seville in
1585, comes after Teresa's death.
In this chapter Madre Teresa warns prioresses that however
much they may strive to exclude from their communities any
applicants who suffer from melancholy, "it is subtle and feigns
death when it needs to, and thus we do not recognize it until the
matter cannot be remedied" (7, 1). In admitting that one person
afflicted with melancholy can be enough to disrupt the quiet of
an entire community, she alerts prioresses to the contrivances
that this humor uses to get its own way. One must search out and
understand these contrivances in order to govern the afflicted in
such a way that no harm is done to the other nuns.
The remedy Teresa proposes for those seriously afflicted still
has its validity: the condition should be cared for as a major ill-
ness; the sick nun should be isolated; she should be treated with
56
St, Teresa of Avila
much love, but made to understand that she cannot return to
the community as long as she thinks she will be free to do what-
ever she wants; on allowing her to return, an all-important
remedy will be to keep her occupied with duties so that she will
not have the opportunity to be imagining things; sometimes the
humor can be reduced by means of medicine. Teresa's sugges-
tion that such a nun not eat fish shows an awareness of the im-
portance of diet. At the time, people probably thought that fish
was less nourishing than meat.
The Inquisition
The intermingling of Christians, Jews, and Moors in Spain
created complex religious and racial problems and prompted the
organization of a tribunal whose solution was the imposition of
Christian orthodoxy. In a land where heterodox views existed in
large number and where new heresies to the north might easily
enter and take root, the Spanish Inquisition would not brook
even the slightest diversion from the most rigid orthodoxy. Any
small deviation, it was feared, would open the way to outright
heresies. To be investigated by the Inquisition was a serious and
dangerous business, to say nothing of all the gossip and loss of
one's honor it would occasion. In her Life, Teresa laughed to
herself over these anxieties about being accused to the Inquisi-
tion and declared that if she had something to fear with regard
to her faith, she would go herself to seek out the Inquisitors.66
The opportunity for her to demonstrate such fearlessness came
when she resided in Seville, where she was accused to the Inqui-
sition (27, 20).
Shortly after the foundation in Seville was made, the first
novices entered. Among them was a forty-year-old widowed beata
with a reputation for sanctity and already canonized by the people.
Her name was Maria del Corro. However, her age and her own
brand of spirituality made adaptation to the Teresian Carme-
lite life a demanding chore, and she had to seek dispensation
from one thing after another. Moreover, in Carmel she no longer
The Foundations — Introduction
57
received the praise for her holiness on which she had become
dependent. Finally, forced to admit to herself her failure, she
clandestinely left the cloister telling no one of her intentions.
But on discovering that many who had previously considered her
a saint now ridiculed her for her inability to live in the monastery,
she looked for a way to compensate. With the help of her confes-
sor, who took her side, she denounced Madre Teresa and Isabel
de San Jeronimo before the tribunal of the Inquisition asserting
that they bore much in common with the Alumbrados and that
they poked fun at the Inquisition. The news spread quickly
through the city, and Gracian began to receive blame for bring-
ing these discalced nuns to Seville. The Mother Foundress spent
days under threat of being transferred to the Inquisition, and
she was advised to make a general confession of her whole life.
Gracian testifies that one day, while on his way to the nuns, he
unexpectedly saw outside the monastery many horses and mules
and recognized at once that they belonged to the Inquisitors
and their ministers who were inside. When he did get to speak to
Teresa, he found her to be exuberantly happy at the prospect of
having to suffer some affront.67 Teresa herself wrote: "For these
calumnies not only failed to make me sad but gave me so great
an accidental joy that I could not restrain myself' (27, 20). She
goes on to say that she is not surprised about David going before
the ark singing and dancing, for it is what she felt like doing at
the time. But Gracian did not feel like singing and dancing. He
was in anguish over the whole matter. He could not erase from his
memory the fact that it was he who had ordered Teresa to come
to Seville and had done so contrary to the locutions and inner
light she had received from the Lord in prayer which informed
her that it would be better for her to make a foundation in Madrid.
Whether Teresa was obliged to leave the cloister to testify be-
fore the tribunal is uncertain. However, at this time, she did
write the accounts of her spiritual life for Rodrigo Alvarez, a
Jesuit consultant to the Inquisition.68 In the end, Teresa was
acquitted of the charges, having impressed the tribunal with the
humility and wisdom of her responses and the spiritual quality of
her account written for Alvarez. Maria del Corro, though, did
58
St. Teresa of Avila
manage to touch a sore spot in the community when she accused
Isabel de San Jeronimo along with Teresa. Isabel was a sufferer
from melancholy who would hardly have been the community's
choice to present before the Inquisitors.
Conflict Among The Friars
Blessed John Soreth, when prior general of the Carmelite
order (1451-1471), sought to promote the life of observance and
to remove all the abuses characteristic of conventual friars in
the fifteenth century. He particularly concerned himself with
practices that had gained acceptance but which were out of
keeping with poverty. With these practices, friars were allowed
to have unlimited funds throughout their lifetime and to possess
objects not consumed by use so that they could even bequeath
these latter to other Carmelites or communities. This crumbling
of the practice of poverty gave rise to a double standard of living,
one for the well-to-do friars and one for the needy. But Spain re-
mained isolated from the rest of the order, and consequently the
zealous reform efforts of John Soreth, who had never set foot on
the Iberian peninsula, bore no results there. Neither did any
reform movements rise spontaneously among Carmelites in
Spain despite the general interest in the betterment of religious
orders on the part of the Crown.
During Nicholas Audet's term as prior general (1524-1562),
the Carmelites again turned seriously to reform. The matters
for reform concerned again the practice of poverty, but also the
following: education, to correct ignorance among the brethren
and to prevent the inept and unlearned from ascending the
pulpit; Divine Office, in that every house with at least six priests
was obliged to celebrate the day and night Office in choir; and
laws dealing with residence outside the monastery and exits
from the house. But Audet's efforts to bring about reform in
Spain occasioned an exodus of friars. In Castile, over half the
personnel of the province abandoned the order, leaving that
province with few houses and a scarcity in numbers. In An-
dalusia, all the reform efforts simply failed.
The Foundations — Introduction
59
Following Audet in the leadership role of prior general came
John Baptist Rossi, Teresa's esteemed Rubeo. He continued the
reforming effort but within the framework of existing obliga-
tions. When he came to Spain for his visitation in 1566, the pro-
vince of Castile, reformed under Audet, consisted of nine monas-
teries and a little more than a hundred friars.
In chapter two of her Foundations, Teresa writes glowingly of
Rubeo, who with much kindness consoled and encouraged her.
One matter, however, about which the prior general showed re-
luctance had to do with the foundation of some houses for friars
who would live in a style similar to Teresa's nuns. When the Madre
wrote to him again after his departure, making her request once
more, Rubeo acceded. In a letter from Barcelona, August 10,
1567, he gave his permission, insisting that these foundations be
referred to as houses or monasteries of contemplative Carmelites.
These friars were also to help their neighbor when the occasion
arose and were to observe the "old constitutions" (Soreth's,
revised by Audet and Rubeo himself). They were to be subject
to the provincial, and only two houses were to be allowed. Not
having succeeded in his attempts to reform the Andalusians,
Rubeo shows a certain fear of possible problems in the tone of
his letter. "It is not our intention to give occasion to hellish quar-
rels," he says, "but to promote the perfection of Carmelite relig-
ious life." The contemplative Carmelites must live united to the
obedience of the province of Castile, and "if at any time any
friar under pretext of living in greater perfection should seek to
separate himself from the province by the favor of princes and
with briefs and other concessions of Rome, we pronounce and
declare them men moved and tempted by the evil spirit, authors
of seditions, quarrels, contentions, and ambitions to the deceit
and loss of their souls."69 As an apostolic commissary at the time,
Rubeo was empowered to use a formula employed by the Holy
See in its own documents. Unfortunately, many of the things
Rubeo feared actually took place.
If Teresa proved capable of preserving homogeneity and co-
herence among the foundations of nuns through her inspira-
tional leadership, she did not achieve this among the friars.
After her idyllic account in chapter fourteen of the Foundations
60
St. Teresa of Avila
about the life lived by the first little community of friars in Duru-
elo, she makes the significant remark that they paid no atten-
tion to her when she made some observations concerning their
austerities.
Duruelo was so isolated that growth came slowly. Teresa was
delighted, then, when she met Ambrosio Mariano who pro-
vided her with the opportunity for making a second foundation
of friars, this one in Pastrana. Growth in numbers came more
quickly in Pastrana, but some of the new members happened to
be friars from Andalusia who had got into trouble with the prior
general in his attempts to bring about reform there. In fact, An-
dalusia soon became the source of nothing but trouble for the
Mother Foundress's ideal. When the prior general heard about
some of the new admissions, he wrote in a letter August 8, 1570:
"We have heard that things have been happening that could
give rise to dissent and quarrels." He requires members of the
provinces of Spain and Portugal to have his written permission
before seeking admission to "our contemplative Carmelites, or
discalced as they are popularly called." He then goes on to for-
bid the contemplative Carmelites to receive those members of
the Andalusian province who had been punished by him or had
been rebellious and contumacious in their obligation of obedi-
ence to him. He forbids this "lest the whole flock of contempla-
tives be corrupted by them."70
At the very time that Rubeo had been in Spain on his mission
of reform, Philip II was engaged in plans for his own reform of
the religious orders, the Carmelites among them. This comes as
no surprise when it is pointed out that according to Philip's in-
formation the cause for the success of Lutheranism in the north
of Europe could be attributed to laxity among the friars.71
With the brief Maxime cuperemus obtained from Pius V on
December 2, 1566, the king, in a first move, instructed bishops
to carry out visitations of religious orders. These visitations were
to be done through delegates who in turn were to be accom-
panied by serious religious appointed by the provincial of the
respective religious order. But as for Carmelites, Trinitarians,
and Mercedarians (orders that were considered to be lacking in
the number of observants who would be able to assist the bishops
The Foundations — Introduction
61
in carrying out the reform of the conventuals), another brief,
Superioribus mensibus, April 16, 1567, instructed that two Do-
minicans were to accompany the bishop's delegate.
This action of the king ignored the privilege of religious ex-
emption, held by these orders, and also the decree of the Coun-
cil of Trent that entrusted reform to the religious superiors.
Moreover, the Carmelites in the general chapter of 1564 had
pronounced themselves to be observants and denounced con-
ventualism. Rubeo made a report to the Holy See, both giving
an account of his visitation in Spain and asking that the king's
visitation be revoked. But in the meantime, Philip's first steps
toward reform failed. The situation, in fact, worsened when
Philip decided to dispense with the assistance of the Dominicans
and leave everything in the hands of diocesan clergy and lay-
men. The Carmelites in Andalusia who had been expelled or re-
moved from office by Rubeo managed to find favor with the
new visitators, were reinstated, and were absolved from excom-
munication. Learning of this, Rubeo indignantly pointed out
that the excommunication he had imposed was reserved by Pope
Callistus III to the Holy See.
Perhaps because of the complaints of the superiors general,
Pius V decided to remove the visitation from the hands of the
bishops. Formally revoking the brief Superioribus mensibus y on
January 13, 1570, the pope turned to another solution and put
the work of reform into the hands of the generals, each being
responsible for his own order. He made a careful exception,
however, regarding the Carmelites, Trinitarians, and Merced-
arians, entrusting their reform to Dominican friars who would
remain in their offices as apostolic commissaries for four years.
At the end of the four years, the mandate would be extended if
necessary.
Pedro Fernandez and Francisco Vargas, two Dominican friars,
were named visitators of the Carmelites, the former of those in
Castile, the latter, of those in Andalusia. They received powers
to move religious from house to house and province to province,
to assist superiors in their offices, and to depute other superiors
from among either the Dominicans or the Carmelites. They
were entitled to perform all acts necessary for the visitation, cor-
62
St. Teresa of Avila
rection, and reform of both head and members of all houses of
friars and nuns.
Rubeo responded anxiously by dispatching twenty commis-
saries to defend the rights of the Carmelite order in Spain. These
commissaries were given instructions not to allow directives con-
trary to the order's legislation for reform or to permit any in-
fringement on the order's privileges granted by the Holy See.
Much of the controversy that arose between Teresa's friars and
those of the observance grew out of the various interpretations
that the authorities in question gave to the powers granted them
by the Holy See.
The Dominican Fernandez tactfully and diplomatically car-
ried out his responsibilities within the normal legislative chan-
nels of the Carmelite order. It was he who ordered Teresa in
1571, after his visitation of the Incarnation in Avila, to inter-
rupt her work as foundress and return to her original monastery
as prioress (19,6-7;21,1). Teresa received instructions to do all
she could to improve the material and spiritual welfare of that
house.
She accepted only reluctantly,72 and the nuns of the Incarna-
tion protested vehemently at first. But Madre Teresa knew how
to win their favor and soon managed to solve some of the hope-
less problems of poverty. For assistance in her efforts to improve
the spiritual life of the nuns, Teresa appealed to Fernandez for
Fray John of the Cross, then rector at the new Carmelite college
in Alcala, that he might serve as confessor for the nuns. Fray
John stayed on as confessor at the Incarnation until his sad cap-
ture and imprisonment in 1577. At the Incarnation, the two
saints acted as powerful spiritual catalysts enabling Fernandez
to write to the duchess of Alba as early as 1573 that though in
the monastery of the Incarnation there were one hundred thirty
nuns, there was as much tranquility and sanctity there as among
the ten or twelve discalced nuns in the monastery of Alba. It was
during this time, while she officiated as prioress of the Incarna-
tion, that Teresa under the direction of John of the Cross re-
ceived the grace of spiritual marriage.
Between Teresa and the Dominican Fernandez a deep mu-
tual respect and an easy working relationship developed. More
The Foundations — Introduction
63
and more Madre Teresa turned to Fernandez for her necessary
permissions. In June of 1571 Teresa had written to Dona Maria
de Mendoza, sister of the bishop of Avila, about a certain per-
mission: "We can ask for a licence from Father Provincial, and
your Ladyship can tell the community to receive them. As an
alternative, we can go to Father Visitator, who will give his con-
sent at once. I can work with him better than with Father Pro-
vincial, who simply will not answer my letters however often I
write to him."
As in the case of the nuns, Fernandez also placed Teresa's
friars in positions of responsibility, hoping thereby to promote
reform. This move, however, was damaging to the new contem-
plative communities just starting to get on their feet.
Andalusia was another story. Desiring to push reform among
the friars of his district, Francisco Vargas wrote in November of
1571 to Fray Ambrosio Mariano, whom Teresa had recruited
for the foundation of her friars in Pastrana, and ordered him to
make a foundation in Seville like the one they had in Pastrana.
This foundation, he decided would be exempt from the juris-
diction of the Carmelite provincial in Andalusia and would re-
ceive only those aspirants coming directly from the world. Var-
gas's orders to Mariano went contrary to the restrictions Rubeo
had set up for the contemplative friars. In reality, by turning to
Teresa's friars for help in reforming the Carmelite order, both
visitators drew them beyond the limits established by the prior
general when he allowed for a few houses of contemplative friars.
During the years 1570-1575 seven houses of contemplative
friars were founded in addition to the two original ones (Duruelo
and Pastrana) in which Teresa played a more direct role. The
four new ones in Castile (Alcala, Altomira, La Roda, and Al-
modovar del Campo) were founded with the prior general's per-
mission. The problem arose over those founded in Andalusia (in
Seville, Granada, and La Penuela). These latter three were re-
quested, against Rubeo's orders, by the Dominican visitator
Vargas.
By the time the four year term of the Dominican visitators
had expired along with Teresa's term as prioress at the Incarna-
tion, the total picture had so changed that the prior general, the
64
St. Teresa of Avila
provincials, and even Teresa herself were alarmed. Rubeo was
alarmed because monasteries were being founded apart from
consultation with the prior general and even against his express
prohibition; the provincials, because the new Carmelite commu-
nities arising within their districts were practically autonomous,
with innovations and customs foreign to the order's tradition;
Teresa, because she observed the friars going off in a direction
different from the one she had envisioned. In her Foundations
she reveals her feeling when she writes that if it were not for the
trust she had in God she would have at times regretted ever hav-
ing founded the friars. She recognized that they had no leader
and laments that they had no constitutions that they all agreed
upon. "In each house they did as they saw fit," she disapprov-
ingly comments (23, 12). Without presenting her reasons, which
we can only guess at, Teresa at first wanted no foundations of
her friars or nuns in Andalusia. When, in fact, she made the
foundation in Beas, she thought she was making it in Castile.
Not until the deed was done did she discover that, though in the
civil province of Castile, Beas belonged to the ecclesiastical ju-
risdiction of Andalusia.
It was here in Beas that her overwhelming first meeting with
"Padre Maestro Fray Jeronimo Gracian de la Madre de Dios" took
place. Here was the answer to the Mother Foundress's prayers.
A friar with the learning, spirituality, and apparent political
skills necessary to salvage what Teresa had begun. Of this ele-
vating experience in Beas she writes: "So during those days I
went about with such excessive consolation and happiness that
indeed I was surprised at myself (24, 2). But what was perhaps
most remarkable about Gracian was that he actually listened to
Teresa's opinions about the friars, their problems, and other
matters. Later, Gracian himself wrote enthusiastically about
this meeting: "She taught me everything she knew, giving me so
many doctrines, rules, and counsels that I could have written a
large book about what she taught me." 73 Previous to this fateful
meeting, Gracian had been named apostolic visitator of the
Carmelites in Andalusia by Vargas. At the time of the appoint-
ment, Gracian had been professed little more than a year, hav-
ing been ordained to the priesthood and having received his
doctorate in theology before entering the order.
The Foundations — Introduction
65
When the Carmelite order convened in chapter at Piacenza,
May 22, 1575, no time was lost in addressing the question of the
discalced friars in Andalusia. The chapter reaffirmed in no un-
certain terms the position the prior general had thus far taken.
Those who had been made superiors against the obedience due
superiors within the order itself, or who had accepted offices or
lived in monasteries or places prohibited by the same superiors,
should be removed. The monasteries of discalced friars in An-
dalusia were to be abandoned within three days. The friars and
nuns were not to go completely barefoot, "since nowhere in the
rule is such a thing prescribed." Neither were they to be referred
to as "discalced," but as "contemplatives" or "primitives." No
rift was to be created in the order by calling some "discalced"
and others "of the cloth."
The previous year, on August 13, 1574, Gregory XIII, the
new pope, had declared the end of the Dominican visitation and
ordained that from then on the Carmelites should be visited by
the prior general and his delegates. However, what had been
established by the Dominican visitators was to remain in effect.
Afterward, the papal nuncio Ormaneto received assurance that
the recall of the Dominican visitators in no way affected his own
powers as nuncio to visit and reform religious orders. Offended
because the visitation had been called officially to a close with-
out a word to him, the king imperiously declared Gregory's papal
brief to be invalid because it lacked his royal placet.
It was precisely while Gracian was in Beas that the nuncio,
Ormaneto, sent for him in Madrid, and on August 3, 1575, the
nuncio not only confirmed Gracian in his present position but
extended his authority as reformer and visitator to the friars and
nuns of Castile as well. Gracian's motive in accepting arose not
so much out of any desire to reform the friars of the observance
but to protect Teresa's friars, or the contemplatives, from being
undone. Also, during the time of his visitation, he aimed to
make more foundations of his own friars so that the group might
become well rooted. Others hurled accusations of boldness and
ambition at him for accepting the charge.74
Previously, while in Beas, Gracian had ordered the Mother
Foundress to go deeper into Andalusia against her strong desires
and make a foundation in Seville, a rich and sensuous city of
66
St. Teresa of A vila
thirty thousand inhabitants, looked upon as the gate to the Indies.
Teresa resignedly complied, writing: "This is a favor our Lord
grants me, to have the opinion that these superiors are right in
everything" (24, 4). Indeed, the foundation in Seville turned
out to be one of the most trying of all Teresa's foundations. If
her brother Lorenzo had not returned at that time from the
Indies and offered his assistance, the Madre's foundation might
never have succeeded. The people of Andalusia were not at first
as interested in helping her as were those in Castile.
An added trial for Teresa now was her fear for Gracian's life.
When, as reformer, Gracian returned from Madrid in 1575 to
the Carmelite friars' monastery in Seville with his patent letter
from the nuncio, the friars demanded that he give it to them so
that they could make a copy of it. When Gracian understand-
ably refused to let it out of his possession, a minor revolt took
place among the eighty friars. The rumor moved quickly through
the city that Gracian's life was in danger. Of course, it made its
way to the doors of Teresa's Carmel where the nuns were already
in prayer since they knew that this was the day, the feast of Our
Lady's Presentation in the Temple (November 21) in which the
feared visitation was to begin. They were also familiar with those
frightening stories about how, not long before, a reformer of
friars in Catalonia had been stabbed to death. As happens with
rumors, by the time the tale reached the Carmel, the version
told that Gracian had been killed. As a reprisal for the uproar
and seeming disobedience, and against Teresa's advice, the
young Carmelite visitator excommunicated the friars, thereby
bringing more scandal to an already highly scandalized city.
Though Fray Jeronimo had asserted his authority, the quar-
reling over whether or not he had any did not allow him to begin
his visitation until January. As things turned out, though, Gra-
cian was anything but a tyrant to be feared. In the process of his
visitation, there were those, in fact, who complained against
him that he was not carrying out the visitation with the required
severity. These advocates of greater severity were in particular
Fray Ambrosio Mariano and Juan Calvo de Padilla, a Castilian
priest who worked on the reform of the religious orders and who
was esteemed by the king. On the other hand, there were those
The Foundations — Introduction
67
who resisted Gracian's measured steps for improvement by spread-
ing malicious lies about him, hoping to damage his reputation
in Madrid and Rome.
During the period in which some of these perturbing events
were taking place, Rubeo, on December 10, 1575, appointed Jero-
nimo Tostado visitator, reformer, and commissary general of the
Spanish provinces. His instructions to Tostado were to enforce
the statutes laid down by the visitators of Pius V, those of the
general chapter of Piacenza and especially those of Gergory XIII.
There were two restrictions made on his powers: he could not
grant permission to anyone to join the contemplative friars nor
could he allow the contemplatives to make any foundations.
Rubeo reserved these rights to himself. Since Tostado's mission
was preceded by the rumor that he had come to destroy Teresa's
work, Ormaneto advised Tostado to postpone his visitation in
Andalusia and go to Portugal first.
The movement among Teresa's friars had now gone so far
that it was impossible to reverse the tide. Their numbers came
close to three hundred, and they had gained considerable pres-
tige among the people and at the royal court. They were also
receiving strong support from Ormaneto. On August 3, 1576,
under Gracian's initiative, these friars declared themselves a
separate province, which consisted of the ten monasteries of
nuns in addition to the nine of friars.
In June of 1575, Teresa herself had already written a worried
letter to Rubeo in an attempt to explain everything. She assured
him of her love, admiration, and prayers and of the prayers of all
the nuns as well. As for the friars, she writes frankly: "They are
defending their position, and I really think that they are Your
Reverence's faithful sons and desire not to displease you. But
still I cannot fail to blame them. It now seems they are beginning
to realize that they should have followed a different course so as
not to have displeased Your Reverence." After pointing out that
the houses were founded by virtue of the apostolic authority of
Vargas, she mentions the number of the friars and the esteem
they held in the minds of the people and even of the king. She
does this so as to warn Rubeo against any drastic measures that
would stir up the people and king against the order. Then she
68
St. Teresa of Avila
pleads: "As a true father, forget the past and remember that
Your Reverence is a servant of the Virgin and that she will be dis-
pleased if you cease to help those who, by the sweat of their brow,
seek the increase of her order." In another plea for peace, in
November of 1575, she urges Gracian to communicate with the
prior general and show him the proper deference: "It is enough
that things are being done against his will without your having
to fail to send him some kind words or to pay any attention to
him. You see, my Father, it is to him we promised obedience,
and nothing can be lost thereby."
In a further effort to explain to Rubeo, in February 1576, she
zealously defends Gracian, describing how he resisted and was
unwilling to undertake the visitation in Andalusia which was im-
posed on him. In the same vein, she seeks to raise Rubeo's opinion
of his own Andalusian Carmelites: "They have helped us in every
way since we have been here, and, as I wrote to your Reverence, I
have found here men of much talent and learning. I would cer-
tainly be happy if we had some like them in our Castilian prov-
ince." And she adds in her characteristic fashion: "I am not sur-
prised that they are tired of all the visitations and changes."
Turning again to the question of Gracian and Mariano, she
obviously puts all that she has into a plea in their favor: "But let
Your Reverence consider that it is characteristic of children to
err and of parents to pardon and not look at faults. For the love
of our Lord, I beseech your Reverence to do me this favor." She
then puts in a plea for herself, that Rubeo might listen to her
suggestions: "Consider that this would be advisable for many
reasons which perhaps, Your Reverence, being over there, does
not understand as well as I do here, and that, even though we
women are not suited for giving counsel, sometimes we are
right."
Teresa returned from Seville to Castile in June of 1576, and
Gracian concluded his visitation in Andalusia in May of 1577.
Before calling a chapter in the south, Gracian journeyed to Ma-
drid to consult with the nuncio. But an unexpected disaster over-
turned his plans. Ormaneto died in the odor of sanctity on the
night of June 17, 1577, with nothing to his name, having given
all to the poor. Though the king informed Gracian that the lat-
The Foundations — Introduction
69
ter's faculties as visitator had not ceased with the death of the
nuncio, the new nuncio, Felipe Sega, did not agree and sought
to persuade the king to give up the plan of reform initiated by
Ormaneto so that the religious orders would be left free to re-
form themselves. In addition, the nuncio informed Gracian
that his faculties had ceased with the death of Ormaneto.
Though Sega had come to Spain with a bias against Teresa
and her friars, he wanted first of all to investigate the entire
matter to form a better judgment of what was transpiring. The
king, who on the contrary was biased in favor of Teresa and her
friars, approved but also insisted that the nuncio with the help
of assistants obtain correct information about the differences
between the two groups of Carmelites.
When the contemplative friars with seeming contempt cele-
brated a chapter at Almodovar del Campo, in October of 1578,
a chapter that had been decreed two years previously by Gracian
when he had been in power, Sega took quick action. On October
16, 1578, he declared the chapter null and void and under pain
of excommunication forbade Antonio de Jesus, who had been
elected provincial, to act as provincial. Sega for safe measure
then placed Teresa's friars and nuns under the jurisdiction of
the provincials of Castile and Andalusia, Juan Gutierrez and
Diego Cardenas respectively. These provincials clamorously
asserted their authority, serving notice of it to the contemplative
friars and nuns in a rude manner, scandalous to the people.
Teresa writes of the nuns' experience when the provincial's
emissaries came to St. Joseph's in Avila: "It was a morning of
trial: all who were there— justices, lawyers, and gentlemen-
were shocked at their lack of proper religious conduct, and I was
very distressed. I would have gladly told them what I thought,
but we didn't dare speak."75 These public scenes were repeated
in the other Teresian monasteries both in Castile and Andalusia.
The leaders among the Teresian friars, Antonio de Jesus,
Ambrosio Mariano, Gabriel de la Assuncion, and Gracian were
excommunicated and placed under arrest in various monasteries
until the investigation could be completed. Gracian was confined
to the Carmel of Madrid where, he honestly admits, some of the
brethren among the observants treated him very well.
70
St. Teresa of Avila
Previous to all of this turmoil, Rubeo had died in September
of 1578, at the age of 69, as a result of injuries suffered two years
before in a fall from his mule. Teresa wrote sorrowfully of this to
Gracian: "On the day I heard it I did nothing but weep and weep
and I felt great pain over all the trials we had caused him, which
he certainly did not deserve. If we had gone to him about the
matter everything would have proceeded smoothly."76
While the leaders were in prison, Teresa carried on a cam-
paign in favor of her friars through letters and recommendations
to as many influential people as she could think of. She fired off
letters to Madrid, Rome, and elsewhere, to the king, to bishops,
and to noblemen, to anyone she thought could help.
When the nuncio's investigators learned of the insolent ways
in which the provincials were carrying out the visitations of the
contemplative houses and of the lies that had been uttered
against Gracian, some among them wished first to take care of
that matter and leave the investigation, especially of the alleged
faults of Gracian, for later. Sega said "No," insisting that first
Gracian be punished.
Gracian was in a dilemma. He knew that if he were to deny the
accusations made against him and a process in his defense were
begun, Teresa's friars would in the meantime lose out. On the
other hand, if he submitted to the charges, he would be admit-
ting through his silence to what was not true. Consulting a num-
ber of theologians who, as is their custom, came up with different
opinions, he decided finally, for the good of the discalced, not to
bother defending himself.77
The appointed judges became scrupulous about the penalty to
inflict on him because they knew he was not blameworthy. Sega
accused one of them of trying to be an advocate rather than a
judge; the accused judge snapped back that Sega was trying to be
an accuser rather than a judge. In the end, Gracian was absolved
of all censures, but deprived of active and passive voice, sent to
the monastery of the contemplatives in Alcala, given penances,
and forbidden to write or receive letters, especially from nuns,
or otherwise interfere in the affairs of the order.
As for Mariano, Teresa confesses in the above-mentioned let-
ter to Rubeo in defense of the impetuous friar, that she herself
The Foundations — Introduction
71
had suffered again and again from him but learned to pass it
over since she knew what a good man he was. When the commis-
sion came to investigate Mariano and take his confession, the no-
tary asked him when it was he had last spoken or written to the
king. As might have been expected, Mariano's reply was quick
and flippant: "not since the last time." When the notary rebuked
him for making fun of the nuncio, Mariano defended himself by
asserting that the question deserved no other response since it
implied that a subject was at fault for speaking or writing to a
king as Catholic as Philip. Of course, the king was kept informed
of all these happenings. Perhaps he even smiled, a rare accom-
plishment for Philip II, on hearing the story about Mariano.
Understandably, Mariano escaped punishment and set off for
Jerez de la Frontera on an engineering project sponsored by the
king. 78
At that point Nicolas Doria entered the scene. When at the
end of the fourteenth century Barcelona's leading private banks
failed, Italian financiers began to assume the role of principal
bankers to the kings of Aragon. Genoa in particular made skillful
use of opportunities and gradually succeeded in converting itself
into the financial capital of the western Mediterranean. The
Genoese settled in Cordoba, Cadiz, and Seville and entrenched
themselves at one strategic point after another in the Castilian
economy. Nicolas Doria was a Genoese banker who had come to
the notice of the king on account of his abilities. But so greatly
was he frightened on one occasion in which he almost perished in
a shipwreck that he converted completely to God and sacrificed
his fortune to the poor, ultimately joining Teresa's friars in Se-
ville at the age of forty-two. It was to Doria that Teresa turned
when all the leaders of her friars were under arrest or in exile.
The shrewd Genoese banker succeeded in disguising his real
reasons for being in Madrid and while living in a monastery of
the observant Carmelites managed the affairs of Teresa's friars
without raising the least suspicion.
After Gracian received his sentence, a member of the investi-
gating commission resigned, forcing the nuncio Sega to ask the
king for a replacement. In response Philip II, "took the initiative
to favor us" and appointed Teresa's close friend, the Dominican
72
St. Teresa of Avila
Pedro Fernandez. Of Fernandez, Teresa says: "He knew well
the truth about how each group lived, for the desire of us all was
nothing other than that this be known." And expressing the relief
she felt on hearing the news, she adds: "And so when I saw that
the king had named him, I considered the matter taken care of,
as by the mercy of God it is" (28, 6). What the commission did
was to place Angel de Salazar, a former provincial of the obser-
vant Carmelites in Castile, in charge of the contemplatives. He
was, in Gracian's view, a gentle and discreet man whose main
concern was to console the afflicted and promote peace.79
At the beginning of chapter 28 in her Foundations, Teresa
gives a quick sketch of these events and promises that they will
be written up by someone who had more firsthand information
about the whole affair than she. This "someone" was Gracian
who did later write his account, recently discovered, of the friars'
foundations. What Teresa insistently reminds her readers is that
in all the sorry conflict, her greatest trial was the displeasure of
the prior general. She sums up her dilemma and the unhappy
situation in chapter 28:
"And so that I might not be helping the friars make founda-
tions, he was induced into becoming displeased with me,
which was the greatest trial I suffered in the work of these
foundations, even though I have suffered many. On the one
hand, very learned men who were my confessors would not
agree that I should stop and counseled me to help toward
the growth of the work, pointing out that I clearly rendered
service to our Lord and helped toward the increase of our
order; and on the other hand, going against the will of my
superior was like a death to me. For apart from the obliga-
tion I had toward him because he was my superior, I loved
him very tenderly and there were many reasons for obey-
ing him. It is true that even though I wanted to please him
by obeying his order, I could not because there were
apostolic visitors whom I was obliged to obey" (28., 2).
During the years of these troubles, Teresa was prevented from
making any more foundations. Instead, as she points out, "we
were all occupied unceasingly in prayers and penances so that
The Foundations — Introduction
73
our Lord would preserve the houses already founded if doing so
would be for His service." Not until four years after the founda-
tion in Seville did she once again, in 1580, take to the road. This
was the year in which Teresa's friars were given the permission
to form a separate province, "which was all that we were desir-
ing for the sake of our peace and tranquility." Teresa summed
up the happy outcome: "Now we are all at peace, caked and dis-
calced; no one can hinder us from serving our Lord. Hence, my
Brothers and Sisters, since His Majesty has heard your prayers so
well, let us make haste to serve Him" (29, 30-32).
The Last Days
A peasant girl, born in 1549 in Almendral (in the province of
Toledo), entered St. Joseph's in Avila at the age of twenty-one
and took the name Ana de San Bartolome. Favored by God with
extraordinary mystical graces, this Carmelite, who was beatified
in 1917, accepted them with remarkable simplicity, and as a re-
sult of these graces felt strong desires to serve others in the com-
munity, sometimes taking on three jobs at a time. After Teresa
broke her arm on Christmas eve of 1577, she chose Ana to act as
both her infirmarian and secretary. Blessed Ana became Teresa's
constant companion. It is to her that we owe the straightforward,
poignant account of Teresa's last days.80
When Madre Teresa left Avila on January 2, 1582, for the
foundation in Burgos she took her niece Teresita, the daughter of
her brother Lorenzo, with her. Teresita, though still not sixteen,
had been living with the nuns in the enclosure with the hope of
becoming a member of the community when old enough. The
reason Teresa brought her niece to Burgos was to avoid giving
some of the unimpressed relatives a chance to pressure the young
girl into leaving so that they might gain Don Lorenzo's bequest to
the monastery of St. Joseph's. Once the drawn-out resistance of
the archbishop of Burgos to the new foundation of nuns wore
down and the foundation was established, Teresa eagerly, though
still in a precarious state of health, set about plans to return to
Avila. The time for Teresita's profession was approaching, and
74
St. Teresa of Avila
she did not want to be "taking this young girl from one place to
another." In addition, Teresa's orders from Gracian were to re-
turn to her monastery in Avila to act as prioress there as soon as
the foundation in Burgos was made.
Ana de San Bartolome has pointed out that in the dreadful
journey to Burgos with the rains, snow, and flooded roads and
bridges, Teresa's health was no better than the weather. So wet
were they all on their arrival in Burgos that they stayed before
the warm fire that night longer than usual. This caused Teresa
so much harm that she began to experience dizziness during the
night and to suffer from severe vomitings. Since her throat was
already inflamed, these latter caused a bleeding sore. During
the three following months, with all their disappointments over
prospects for a foundation in Burgos, Teresa was seriously ill,
and her throat was so sore that she had to live on liquids.
Finally, at the end of July, she was able to leave Burgos. She
stopped off at Palencia and remained there until August 25
when she left for Valladolid. In a letter from Valladolid on Au-
gust 26, she discloses her plan to be there until September 8, the
feast of our Lady, then to proceed to Medina, and finally, "with
the help of God, . . . [to] be in Avila by the end of this month."
The Mother Foundress's stay in Valladolid was unpleasant.
Some of Teresa's relatives, in particular the mother-in-law of
her nephew Francisco, were protesting Don Lorenzo's will, and
Maria Bautista, the prioress of Valladolid, a relative and long-
standing friend of Teresa's, favored the protesting relatives.
Since the Mother Foundress held out firmly against them, Maria
Bautista became ill-tempered. According to Ana de San Bar-
tolome, when they were leaving the prioress slammed the door on
them telling them to go and never return. Teresa expressed her
feelings in a letter to Gracian: "I have had a difficult time here
with Don Francisco's mother-in-law. She is a strange woman."81
She goes on to say that since the claim of the monastery in Avila
is sound she trusts in God that the monastery will eventually in-
herit everything.
Arriving probably September 17 in Medina, with the intention
of remaining about ten days and then moving on to Avila, Teresa
received a distressing order. Antonio de Jesus who was acting as
The Foundations — Introduction
75
vicar provincial while Gracian was in Andalusia came to Medina
with the news that the Mother Foundress must go to Alba de
Tormes because of the election of a prioress that was to take
place there and because the duchess of Alba wanted to see her.
Still weak from her lingering illness, longing to get back to Avila,
Teresa fell into a deep sadness. The vicar provincial's orders
and their effect on the Madre remained fixed in Ana's mind.
This incident became for the devoted infirmarian a key example
of Teresa's virtue. Ana testifies that she had never seen Teresa
suffer so much over anything superiors had ordered her.
As for the election of a prioress in Alba, it seems there was lit-
tle that was edifying in the community. No doubt Father An-
tonio thought Teresa's presence would inspire better behavior
and change some attitudes. In a previous letter, dated August 6,
to the founding benefactress, Teresa Layz, Madre Teresa indi-
cated some of the problems of the Alba community and bluntly
states her displeasure over the conduct of some of the nuns. She
worries that no prioress will want to stay there very long since so
many are trying to get out of the office. "If the nuns are what
they ought to be," the Madre writes, "what will it matter to them
who the prioress is? But these are childish ways and reveal
attachments that are far from being appropriate for discalced
nuns, nor are they found in other houses." This is the community
in which Teresa was to end her days.
But before she left Medina, the Mother Foundress also met
with some unpleasant behavior by the prioress there. When she
made an observation about something that was not going well,
the prioress, Alberta Bautista, took the matter badly, became
upset, and went to her room. Teresa, wearied that her remark
would be so upsetting to someone who usually showed a good
spirit, grew heavy of heart and also went to her cell without eat-
ing and without sleeping the entire night. The next morning
when they left, Ana tells us, they were sent on their way with
nothing to eat for the journey. At one point, near Penaranda de
Bacamonte, Teresa thought she was going to faint, so ill and
weak did she feel. There was no food to give her other than some
dried figs. Blessed Ana records her own distressed feelings:
"When I saw that nothing could be found to buy, I could not
76
St. Teresa of Avila
look at the Saint without weeping, for judging by her face she
seemed half dead. I can never describe the anguish I then felt.
My heart seemed to be breaking, and I could only weep when I
saw the plight she was in, for I saw her dying and could do noth-
ing to help her."82
The travelers arrived in Alba around six in the evening, prob-
ably on September 21, the feast of St. Matthias. Greeting the
nuns with much happiness and peace, Teresa then told them of
her exhaustion, "God help me, how tired I am," and went to
bed earlier than she had in years. Ana doubted whether she had
a healthy bone in her body.
The Mother Foundress, though, was not yet daunted, and for
the next eight days was up and down, receiving Communion
daily, even reciting the Divine Office, and attending as well to
some business matters in the parlor. One of the visitors to the
parlor during these days was the troubled Teresa Layz who un-
doubtedly wanted to discuss the coming elections and other
community problems.
Another of the visitors was Agustm de los Reyes, one of her
friars, desirous of convincing Teresa that the nuns in Salamanca
should purchase another house in that university town. But
Teresa opposed the idea because the desired house was in too
noisy a place. After three hours of conversation with the Madre
in which he failed to get her to budge, Fray Agustin concluded
by telling her that nothing else could be done anyway since the
deed was already done. "The deed is done?" asked Teresa, and
then she categorically stated, "anything but done, nor will it
ever be."83 Eight days after her death, the negotiations for the
new house in Salamanca collapsed.
Also visiting Teresa during these days, perhaps on September
28, was her sister Dona Juana de Ahumada to whom Teresa man-
ifested her desire to move on to Avila. But on September 29 the
Madre went to bed never to rise again. She had suffered a hem-
orrhaging from which it was understood that she would die.
Doctors who have studied the remaining descriptions of her last
illness believe that the actual cause of Teresa's death was cancer
of the uterus.
On October 1 , the community held their elections for prioress.
The Foundations — Introduction
77
They had attempted to discuss these matters with the Madre
but she had refused to get involved.
On October 3, in the morning, the barber-surgeon put the
Mother Foundress through the painful ordeal of cupping, a
remedy that was prevalent in those times and meant to facilitate
the excretion of certain liquids and humors.
At five in the afternoon, Teresa asked that Padre Antonio
bring her Communion. Although he wanted to postpone it till
the next day, he finally gave in to her wishes. While waiting for
the Blessed Sacrament, she asked the Sisters to pardon her for
the bad example she had given and to obey the rule and consti-
tutions with much perfection. She begged them not to follow in
her footsteps since she had been the worst in observing them.
When the Eucharist was brought in, her countenance changed
and grew radiant with a kind of reverent beauty, making her
look much younger. The impulses of love became so ardent that
it seemed she who had been dying now wanted to leap from the
bed to receive her Lord. She spoke aloud fervent words of love:
"O my Lord and my Spouse, now the hour has arrived for us to
go forth from this exile, and my soul rejoices in oneness with
You over what I have so much desired." She also uttered fervent
prayers of thanksgiving to God for having made her a daughter
of the Church and enabling her to die within it. Confessing that
she was a great sinner, she prayed over and over the prayers of
psalm 51: "a heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not
spurn"; "cast me not out of your presence"; "a clean heart create
for me, O God." At nine in the evening she asked to be anointed
and assisted in reciting the psalms and other prayers.
In the testimony given by witnesses, there is a general agree-
ment concerning the themes of the prayers spoken aloud by
Teresa on the eve of her death before and after receiving the
Eucharist and after receiving the Sacrament of the Sick. On the
one hand, she revealed her intense feelings of sorrow at being a
sinner, repeating pleas for mercy from God. This she did through
verses taken from a psalm and spoken in Latin as she had learned
them through choral recitation of the prayer of the Church. On
the other hand she revealed her awareness of approaching union
with Christ her Bridegroom and her urgent longings for that
78
St. Teresa of Avila
moment. The words denote an active surge of loving energy and
searching rather than an attitude of passive waiting. "Now the
hour has struck."
Further, in her thankfulness for being a daughter of the
Church, she rejoiced in the thought of her Mother the Church,
where she found the deposit of revelation, the norm of faith, the
administration of the sacraments, the Christian family; this
Church was now to offer her the Blood of Christ, the grace of
redemption.
The following day, the feast of St. Francis (the little poor man
of Assisi), her face was aglow, and with a crucifix in her hands she
remained in prayer, in deep quiet and peace, without speaking or
stirring throughout the whole day. In the evening, a couple of
hours before she died, Padre Antonio told Blessed Ana who had
been continually at her foundress's side to go and get something
to eat. But Teresa began looking about, and when Antonio asked
her if she was looking for Sister Ana, she gestured affirmatively.
When Ana returned, Teresa smiled and with tender love took
the humble Sister's arms and placed her head in them. In this
manner the saintly Madre remained until she died between nine
and ten that evening. She was surrounded by all the nuns in the
community. Her niece Teresita, Blessed Ana, Padre Antonio de
Jesus, and Padre Tomas de la Asencion were also present.
After her death, her countenance turned as white as alabaster
and being freed of every wrinkle took on an extraordinary beauty.
A powerful and pleasing fragrance began to flow from her body
and spread through the entire house, indeed as the truths of her
profound writings would one day spread through the world.
Hers had been a life unexplainable without God and without
the grace that comes through Jesus Christ.
The Autograph
The autograph of The Foundations, once finished, was prob-
ably left at the monastery of Alba de Tormes. Later it was given
to Luis de Leon, the noted Augustinian friar and scholar at Sa-
lamanca, who was assigned the task of preparing the first edition
The Foundations — Introduction
79
of Teresa's writings. In his edition of Teresa's works, published by
Guillermo Foquel in Salamanca (1588), The Foundations was
omitted. The given excuse was lack of time. But few doubt that
there were other reasons as well for its omission, including the
references to people still alive. There were those praising Dona
Casilda de Padilla, who had later left the monastery, and those
exalting Padre Gracian who by that time had lost favor with the
friars in authority (10, 8-16; 11, 1-11; 23, 1-13; 24, 1-4).
When Fray Luis de Leon died in 1591 , the manuscript passed
into the hands of Francisco Sobrino. But the following year, in
his overall efforts to enrich his library, Philip II called for the
autographs of the Castilian nun, reformer, and mystic. Along
with The Life, The Way of Perfection, and the short work On
Making The Visitation, the autograph of The Foundations now
remains in the library of King Philip's immense royal monastery
and palace, the Escorial.
During the two decades in which no printed copy of the work
was available, many copies were made. In 1610, two of Teresa's
closest friends, Padre Gracian and Madre Ana de Jesus, by then
for all practical purposes in exile from Spain, took upon them-
selves the task of getting the book into print in Brussels. Since
Teresa herself had given no title to the work, they named it The
Book of Her Foundations. But their publication had its defi-
ciencies. One of the most engaging sections of the work, found in
chapters 1 0 and 1 1 , dealing with the strange events surrounding
the vocation of Dona Casilda de Padilla was suppressed. In ad-
dition, and not unexpectedly, Gracian introduced his own
variations and corrections into the text. Finally, an account of
the foundation in Granada, written by Ana de Jesus at Gracian's
request, was included. This latter foundation was made by
Madre Ana and Fray John of the Cross, with Teresa's authoriza-
tion, at the time of the foundation in Burgos. The publication
was not well received in Spain, for the book had been brought
out without gaining the required permission from authorities
within the order and because the editors depended on defective
copies rather than the autograph which was not consulted.
Even in the autograph the industrious Gracian had crossed
out some words, but wisely in such a way that usually they can
80
St. Teresa of Avila
be easily read. He also inserted a number of unnecessary com-
ments in the margins. These were made mainly in the first seven
chapters. Later, the Dominican Fray Domingo Banez crossed out
many of Gracian's comments and corrections and rewrote clearly
into the text Teresa's original words, reminding us that the Jesuit
Francisco de Ribera had also found difficulties with Gracian's
corrections in the autograph of the Interior Castle** The correc-
tions by Gracian that were not cancelled by Banez passed into the
printed edition of this work. Such had not been the case with
Teresa's other works in the edition of Fray Luis de Leon who
ignored Gracian's corrections. The most notable variation in the
original, deciphered only in this century by Padre Silverio, is that
introduced in the last paragraph of chapter 4. Teresa wrote:
"The favors the Lord grants in these houses are so many that if
there are one or two nuns in each house that God leads now by
meditation all the rest reach perfect contemplation"(4, 8).
Gracian crossed out some of the words and emended the text so
that it read: "The favors the Lord grants in these houses are so
many that though all the nuns are brought by God along the
way of meditation, some reach perfect contemplation."
Not until 1880, when Don Vicente de la Fuente published a
photocopy of the original did readers have a faithful copy. Padre
Silverio in his critical edition of the works of St. Teresa was the
first to offer the public a reliable text.85
The Book of Foundations may be divided as follows:
1. On founding more monasteries (chs. 1-2)
2. Medina del Campo (ch. 3)
3. Counsels on prayer (ch. 4)
A. The substance of perfect prayer (ch. 5, no. 2)
B. How to acquire love (ch. 5, nos. 3-17)
4. Cautions about a form of spiritual absorption (ch. 6)
5. Counsels on melancholy (ch. 7)
6. Counsels on revelations and visions (ch. 8)
7. Malagon (ch. 9)
8. Valladolid (chs. 10-12)
A. The vocation of Dona Casilda de Padilla (ch. 10,
no. 8-ch. 11)
The Foundations — Introduction
81
B. The life and death of Beatriz de la Encarnacion
(ch. 12)
9. The first foundation of discalced friars (chs. 13-14)
10. Toledo (chs. 15-16)
A. Examples of virtuous living (ch. 16, nos. 1-3)
B. Examples of virtuous dying (ch. 16, nos. 4-7)
11. Pastrana, both nuns and friars (ch. 17)
12. Salamanca (chs. 18-19)
A. Traveling (ch. 18, nos. 4-5)
B. Counsels to prioresses on mortification and
obedience (ch. 18, nos. 6-13)
13. Alba de Tormes and the story of Teresa de Layz (ch. 20)
14. Segovia (ch. 21)
15. Beas (chs. 22-23)
A. The conversion and vocation of Catalina Sandoval
y Godmez (ch. 22, nos. 4-24)
B. The life and vocation of Maestro Jeronimo
Gracian de la Madre de Dios (ch. 23)
16. Seville (chs. 24-26)
A. The trials of a journey (ch. 24, nos. 5-15)
B. The early life and vocation of Beatriz de la Madre
de Dios (ch. 26, nos. 2-15)
17. Caravaca (ch. 27)
A. Exhortations and reflections (ch. 27, nos. 10-19)
B. Opposition to her work (ch. 27, nos. 20-21)
C. Colophon (ch. 27, no. 22)
18. Villanueva de la Jara (ch. 28)
A. Persecution of the discalced friars (ch. 28,
nos. 1-7)
B. The life and penances of Dona Catalina de
Cardona (ch. 28, nos. 21-36)
19. Palencia and a separate province for the discalced (ch. 29)
20. Soria (ch. 30)
21. Burgos (ch. 31)
22. Epilogue
February, 1984
Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D.
Carmelite Monastery
Brookline, Massachusetts
82
St. Teresa of Avila
Many there are deserving of our gratitude at the completion
of this third volume of St. Teresa's works. Again, special thanks
go to Padre Tomas Alvarez for permitting us to make use of his
Spanish edition of the complete works. Once more, too, we must
thank Jean Mallon, our faithful and careful typist. The Carmel
in Elysburg has for a third time contributed an excellent index,
and the Carmels in Danvers and Indianapolis have provided
some beneficial editorial assistance. Of particular help to me in
the preparation of this volume was Padre Emilio Miranda, of
the Carmelite community in Avila, a specialist with regard to
places and objects having to do with Teresa and her times. With
much patience and expertise he guided and instructed me in my
journey through Spain to all of Holy Mother's foundations. I am
grateful as well to Padre Juan Bosco, also from the Carmel in
Avila, who assisted me in coming to a better understanding of
Spanish culture. Father Steven Payne of the Institute of Car-
melite Studies who read over this introduction and offered many
useful suggestions deserves a special word of thanks. All the
members of the Institute provided continual encouragement,
and our business manager, Brother Bryan Paquette, eased our
labors with some happy words and delightful new working tools.
Finally, thanks must go to my brothers in the monastery here in
Brookline who spared me from kitchen duty and gave me the
quiet and free time that were necessary to bring this volume to
completion.
K.K.
A TERESIAN CHRONOLOGY
1515 March 28, born in Avila.
April 4, baptized in the parish church of St. John the Baptist.
1522 Attempts to run away with her brother Rodrigo to the land
of the Moors.
(Adrian VI of Utrecht is elected pope; Zwingli begins his re-
form in Zurich; Luther's translation of the New Testament
into the German vernacular is published.)
1528 Dona Beatriz de Ahumada, Teresa's mother, dies.
1531 Maria de Cepeda, Teresa's older sister, marries and takes up
residence in Castellanos de la Canada. Teresa enters the
convent school of Our Lady of Grace.
(Ulrich Zwingli dies. Francisco Pizarro begins the conquest
of Peru.)
1532 In the autumn Teresa leaves the convent school because of
an illness.
1533 Spends time convalescing at her uncle's home in Hortigosa
and at her older sister's home in Castellanos de la Canada.
1534 Her brother Hernando leaves for Peru.
(St. Ignatius and his companions make their vows at Mont-
martre in Paris. Pope Clement VII, elected in 1523, dies
and is succeeded by Paul III.)
1535 Teresa's brother Rodrigo leaves for Rio de la Plata.
Nov. 2, Teresa leaves home and enters the monastery of the
Incarnation.
(Henry VIII decrees the Act of Supremacy proclaiming
himself as head of the Church of England.)
1536 Nov. 2, Teresa receives the religious habit at the Incarna-
tion.
83
84 St. Teresa of Avila
(Erasmus dies. John Calvin publishes Institutes of the Chris-
tian Religion and takes up the work begun by Zwingli in
Switzerland.)
1537 Nov. 3, Teresa makes her religious profession of vows at the
Incarnation.
1538 Because of illness she leaves the Incarnation so as to undergo
treatment in Becedas. Stops at her uncle's in Hortigosa and
her sister's in Castellanos de la Canada. Reads Osuna's The
Third Spiritual Alphabet given to her by her uncle.
1539 April, begins to undergo the treatments administered by the
quack in Becedas.
July, returns seriously ill to her father's home in Avila. Au-
gust, lapses into a coma of four days' duration. She is brought
back to the Incarnation with a paralysis which lasts three
years.
1540 Nov. 5, her brothers Lorenzo and Jeronimo leave for Amer-
ica in the expedition of Vaca de Castro.
(St. Ignatius of Loyola's constitutions for the Society of Jesus
are approved by Paul III. In 1541, Valdivia establishes San-
tiago in Chile; Calvin begins to organize his church in Ge-
neva, and John Knox his reform in Scotland.)
1542 Teresa feels cured through the intercession of St. Joseph.
She gives up prayer out of a false sense of humility.
(Paul III publishes the bull convoking the Council of Trent;
St. John of the Cross is born in Fontiveros.)
1 543 Teresa cares for her sick father and assists him in his death
(in December).
1 544 Returns to the practice of prayer at the advice of the family
confessor, Vicente Barron, O.P.
1546 Jan. 18, the battle of Inaquito (Peru) in which four of Tere-
sa's brothers fight.
Jan. 20, her brother Antonio dies from wounds suffered in
battle.
Her brother Agustin leaves for America in the expedition of
Pedro de la Gasca.
(Feb. 18, Martin Luther dies.)
1548 In the spring Teresa makes a pilgrimage to the shrine in
Guadalupe for her brothers in America.
A Teresian Chronology
1 549 Three of Teresa's brothers, Lorenzo, Jeronimo, and Agustm,
fight in the battle of Xaquixaguana on the side of Pedro de
la Gasca against Pizarro.
(Paul III dies Nov. 20 and is succeeded by Julius III Feb. 7,
1550.)
1553 Teresa's younger sister, Dona Juana de Ahumada marries
Don Juan de Ovalle in Alba de Tormes.
1554 In Lent, Teresa experiences a profound conversion before a
statue of the wounded Christ.
Begins to consult with a Jesuit confessor, Diego de Cetina.
1555 Juan de Pradanos, S.J., becomes her confessor.
(Julius HI dies in March and is succeeded by Marcellus II
who dies in May and is succeeded by Paul IV. The Treaty of
Augsburg allows rulers of the German states to decide what
religion should be professed in their territories.)
1556 May, Teresa receives the grace of spiritual betrothal.
Baltasar Alvarez, S.J., becomes Teresa's director.
(Charles V resigns the kingdoms of both Spain and the
Spanish overseas empire in favor of his son Philip II. St. Ig-
natius of Loyola dies in Rome.)
1557 Teresa consults with St. Francis Borgia, S.J., who passes
through Avila.
Her beloved brother Rodrigo crosses the Andes and dies in
battle in Chile.
1559 The intellectual visions of Christ begin.
(Paul IV dies in Rome and is succeeded by Pius IV. The
Inquisitor Fernando Valdes publishes for Spain an index of
forbidden books.)
1560 Beginning of the imaginative visions of the risen Christ. She
is ordered to mock the visions by showing the fig.
Receives the grace of the wounding of the heart while staying
at the house of Dona Guiomar de Ulloa.
St. Peter of Alcantara arrives in Avila and assures Teresa,
and others, that her spiritual favors are the work of God.
The frightening vision of hell.
Discussions about a new foundation begin.
86
St. Teresa of A vzla
Teresa writes the first extant account of her spiritual life for
Pedro Ibanez, O.P.
1561 Aug. 12, St. Clare promises to help her.
End of August, Teresa brings her little nephew Gonzalo
back to life.
Christmas, ordered to go to Toledo to stay with Dona Luisa
de la Cerda, the widow of Arias Pardo.
1562 January to June, resides in Toledo; meets Garcia de To-
ledo, O.P.
March, meets Maria de Jesus and learns about the practice
of poverty in the primitive rule.
June, finishes her first redaction of the Life. Returns from
Toledo to Avila.
July, finds in Avila the apostolic rescript for the foundation
of St. Joseph's dated Feb. 7.
Aug. 24, foundation of the new monastery of St. Joseph.
Four novices receive the habit. Teresa is called back to the
Incarnation.
Aug. 29, the city initiates a lawsuit against the monastery.
Oct. 19, St. Peter of Alcantara dies.
December, Teresa moves to St. Josephs with permission of
the provincial and takes four nuns from the Incarnation
with her. Changes her name to Teresa of Jesus.
(The wars of religion begin in France between the Hugue-
nots and Catholics.)
1563 Teresa is named prioress of St. Joseph's succeeding Ana de
San Juan (Davila) who returns to the Incarnation.
She writes the Constitutions for St. Joseph's which are ap-
proved by the bishop of Avila, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, and
by Pius IV in 1565.
(The Council of Trent closes December 4.)
1564 May 21 , John Baptist Rossi (Rubeo) is elected prior general
of the Carmelite Order.
Oct. 21, the first profession, of four nuns, at St. Joseph's.
(John Calvin and Michelangelo Buonarroti die; Galileo
Galilei and William Shakespeare are born.)
A Teresian Chronology
1565 January, Teresa's brother Hernando dies in Colombia.
July 1 7 , the bull of Pius IV confirms the practice of poverty
of the new monastery and its submission to the bishop.
1566 Teresa finishes the first redaction of The Way of Perfection
and, probably, the second; she also writes her Meditations
on the Song of Songs.
The visit of Alonso Maldonado, the Franciscan missionary
in Mexico, to St. Joseph's.
(Pius V is elected in January to succeed Pius IV who died the
previous month.)
1567 Feb. 18, the prior general Rubeo comes to Avila for his visi-
tation.
April 27, Rubeo authorizes Teresa to found other monas-
teries.
May 16, in another patent letter the general clarifies that his
permission excludes Andalusia.
Aug. 15, the first foundation is made in Medina del Campo.
Aug. 16, Rubeo gives permission for two foundations of
Teresian friars provided they are not made in Andalusia.
Teresa meets St. John of the Cross in Medina and convinces
him to join her in her work.
1 568 January, leaves Medina for Alcala to visit the new monastery
of Maria de Jesus.
March, goes to Toledo and there agrees to make a founda-
tion in Malagon.
April, makes the foundation in Malagon.
May 19, leaves Malagon for Valladolid, stopping in Toledo,
Escalona, Avila, Duruelo, and Medina.
Aug. 15, the foundation in Valladolid.
In Valladolid, Teresa teaches St. John of the Cross about
her way of life. He afterward sets out to prepare the house at
Duruelo for the first foundation of friars, which is made
November 28.
Oct. 31, Teresa receives a letter from St. John of Avila giv-
ing approval to what she wrote in her Life.
(The Moorish revolt in Granada.)
88 St. Teresa of Avila
1569 February, leaves Valladolid; passes through Medina, visits
the new friars in Duruelo, and stops in Avila.
March 24, arrives in Toledo.
May 14, the foundation in Toledo.
May 30, leaves Toledo for Pastrana; stops in Madrid for
eight days at Las Descalzas Reales (discalced Franciscan nuns
for members of the nobility); meets Ambrosio Mariano.
June 23, foundation of the nuns in Pastrana.
July 13, foundation of the friars in Pastrana.
Writes her Soliloquies.
Aug. 26, two apostolic visitators for the Carmelite order are
appointed: Pedro Fernandez, O.P., and Francisco Vargas,
O.P.
1570 July 10, Teresa attends the profession in Pastrana of Am-
brosio Mariano de San Benito and Juan de la Miseria.
Nov. 1, the foundation in Salamanca.
(Pius V excommunicates Queen Elizabeth I of England.)
1571 Jan. 25, foundation in Alba de Tormes.
Oct. 14, Teresa takes possession of the office of prioress at
the Incarnation.
(Defeat of the Turkish Armada at Lepanto.)
1572 Arranges to have St. John of the Cross as chaplain and con-
fessor to the nuns at the Incarnation. Jeronimo Gracian
enters novitiate.
Writes her Response to a Spiritual Challenge.
Nov. 18, receives the grace of spiritual marriage.
(Pius V dies and is succeeded by Gregory XIII; St. Barthol-
omew's eve, the massacre of the Huguenots; Nicolas Orma-
neto arrives in Spain as nuncio.)
1573 Aug. 25, Teresa begins writing her Foundations.
1574 March, the journey from Alba to Segovia with St. John of
the Cross for the foundation in Segovia on March 19.
April 6-7, the nuns abandon the foundation in Pastrana by
order of Teresa and are received in Segovia.
Oct. 6, finishes her term as prioress at the Incarnation.
A Teresian Chronology 89
1575 Feb. 24, foundation in Beas.
April-May, first meetings with Gracian.
May 18, leaves Beas for Seville.
May 24, in the church of St. Ann in Ecija makes a vow to
obey Gracian.
May 29, foundation in Seville.
Aug. 12, her brother Don Lorenzo returns from America.
December, she is denounced to the Inquisition of Seville.
Receives orders from the chapter held in Piacenza to retire
to one of her monasteries in Castile.
1576 Jan. 1 , the foundation in Caravaca made by Ana de San Al-
berto at Teresa's orders.
Writes accounts of her spiritual life for Rodrigo Alvarez, S.J.,
who is consultant to the Inquisition in Seville.
May 28, leaves Seville with her brother and his family and
stops for some days in Almodovar del Campo and Malagon.
June 23, arrives in Toledo.
August, writes On Making the Visitation.
1577 Feb. 6, writes the Satirical Critique.
June 2, begins to write The Interior Castle.
June 18, the nuncio, Ormaneto, dies.
July, she goes to Avila.
Aug. 29, the new nuncio, Sega, arrives in Madrid.
Nov. 29, Teresa concludes The Interior Castle.
Dec. 3, St. John of the Cross is taken prisoner, and the fol-
lowing day Teresa writes a letter to the king pleading for
help and justice on the saint's behalf.
Dec. 24, she falls down the stairs at St. Joseph's and breaks
her left arm, which is never set properly and leaves her inca-
pacitated.
1578 July 23, Sega issues a counterbrief taking away Gracian's
faculties as apostolic visit a tor.
Aug. 9, the royal council forbids the discalced to obey Sega.
Aug. 17-18, St. John of the Cross escapes from his prison in
Toledo.
90
St. Teresa of Avila
Oct. 9, the Teresian friars hold a chapter at Almodovar,
against Teresa's better judgment, and elect Antonio de Jesus
superior.
Oct. 16, Sega annuls the chapter's decisions and places the
Teresian friars and nuns under the authority of the provin-
cials of the observant Carmelites.
Nov. 4, the prior general, Rubeo, dies.
(Don John of Austria dies and is succeeded by Alexander
Farnese in the government of the Low Countries.)
1579 April 1, Sega and his counsellors deprive the provincials of
authority over the Teresian friars and nuns and appoint
Angel de Salazar as vicar general.
June, Teresa begins traveling once more: Medina, Valla-
dolid, Salamanca, Alba, Avila, Toledo.
Nov. 24, arrives in Malagon and engages in speeding up the
construction work on the new monastery.
Dec. 8, the nuns move to the new monastery, the only one
constructed from its foundations according to Teresa's
specifications.
(The Union of Utrecht forms the alliance of northern prov-
inces of the Netherlands and makes protestantism the state
religion.)
1580 February, the foundation in Villanueva de la Jara.
March, Teresa leaves Villanueva de la Jara and journeys to
Toledo where she becomes seriously ill.
June, leaves Toledo for Segovia, passing through Madrid.
Gracian and Diego de Yanguas, O.P. , examine and "correct"
The Interior Castle in the parlor of Segovia in the presence
of Teresa.
June 22, the papal brief Pia consider atione allows the Tere-
sian friars and nuns to form a separate province.
June 26, Teresa's brother Don Lorenzo dies.
Aug. 8, she arrives in Valladolid and becomes seriously ill.
Dec. 28, leaves Valladolid for Palencia and makes the foun-
dation there the following day.
(King Henry of Portugal dies leaving no successor to the
throne. Philip II to assert his rights to the crown orders the
Duke of Alba to invade Portugal.)
A Teresian Chronology
1581 March 3, opening of the chapter at Alcala in view of which
Teresa wrote letters to Gracian concerning legislation of the
nuns.
March 4, Gracian is elected provincial.
June 30, the foundation in Soria.
Sept. 10, Maria de Cristo renounces her office of prioress in
Avila, and Teresa is elected.
Nov. 28, St. John of the Cross arrives in Avila with the desire
to persuade Teresa to come to Granada for a foundation
there, but she declines.
(Philip II is recognized as king of Portugal. Legazpi and Ur-
daneta found the city of Manila.)
1 582 Jan. 2 , Teresa leaves Avila for the last time on the way to the
new foundation in Burgos.
Jan. 20, the foundation in Granada is made by St. John of
the Cross and Ana de Jesus.
April 19, the foundation in Burgos is finally achieved.
July 26, she leaves Burgos.
Aug. 2, stops off in Palencia.
Aug. 25, arrives in Valladolid.
Sept. 15, leaves Valladolid and arrives in Medina.
Sept. 19, leaves Medina and, at the order of Antonio de Je-
sus, goes to Alba de Tormes.
Sept. 20, reaches Alba de Tormes at six in the evening.
Sept. 29, goes to bed seriously ill never to get up again; an-
nounces that her death is at hand.
Oct. 3, receives the sacraments of reconciliation and of the
sick.
Oct. 4, at nine in the evening dies "a daughter of the Church"
at the age of sixty- seven.
The Gregorian Calendar was introduced that year so that
the day following Teresa's death became October 15.
1614 April 24, she is beatified by Paul V.
1 622 March 1 2 , she is canonized by Gregory XV along with Saints
Isidore, Ignatius Loyola, Francis Xavier, and Philip Neri.
1970 Sept. 27, she is declared a Doctor of the Church by Paul VI,
and becomes the first woman saint to be so recognized.
Teresa's Foundations
and Journeys
Xvila, Arevalo, MEDINA, Madrid, Alcala'
Alcala, Madrid, Toledo, MALAGON,
Toledo, Xvila, Duruelo, Alba, Medina,
VALLADOLID
Valladolid, Medina, Duruelo, Avila,
TOLEDO, Madrid, PASTRANA, Madrid,
Toledo
Toledo, Madrid, Pastrana, Madrid, Toledo,
Avila, SALAMANCA
Salamanca, ALBA, Arevalo, Avila, Medina,
Arevalo, Avila
Xvila, Alba, Avila, Salamanca
Salamanca, Alba, Medina, Arevalo,
SEGOVIA, Avila, Valladolid
Valladolid, Medina, Avila, Toledo,
Malagdn, BEAS, Cordoba, SEVILLE
Seville, Cordoba, Malagdn, Toledo
Toledo, Avila
Avila, Arevalo, Medina, Salamanca, Avila,
Toledo, Malagdn
Malagdn, Toledo, VILLANUEVA DE LA
JARA, Toledo, Segovia, Avila, Arevalo,
Medina, Valladolid, PALENCIA
Palencia, Burgo de Osma, SORIA, Burgo de
Osma, Segovia, Avila
Xvila, Arevalo, Medina, Valladolid,
Palencia, BURGOS, Palencia, Valladolid,
Medina, Alba
THE FOUNDATIONS
Prologue
JHS
1 . Apart from what I have read in many places, I have seen
through experience the great good that comes to a soul when it
does not turn aside from obedience. It is through this practice
that I think one advances in virtue and gains humility. In obedi-
ence lies security against that dread (which for us as mortals liv-
ing in this life is a good thing) that we might stray from the path
to heaven. Here one finds the quietude that is so precious in souls
desiring to please God. For if they have truly resigned themselves
through the practice of this holy obedience and surrendered the
intellect to it, not desiring any other opinion than their confes-
sor's (or, if they are religious, their superior's), the devil will
cease attacking with his continual disturbances. He will have
seen that he is losing rather than gaining. Also, those restless
stirrings within us, which make us fond of doing our own will
and which even subdue reason in matters concerning our own
satisfaction, come to a stop. Those who practice obedience re-
member that they resolutely surrendered their own will to God's
will, using submission to the one who stands in God's place as a
means to this surrender.
Because His Majesty, in His goodness, has given me light to
know the rich treasure contained in this precious virtue, I have
striven — although weakly and imperfectly — to obtain it. Yet,
often the small amount of virtue I see in myself contradicts what
I just said. For with some things they command me to do I real-
ize that such striving doesn't suffice. May the divine Majesty
provide what is lacking for the accomplishment of this present
task.
2. While in St. Joseph's in Avila in the year 1562, the same
95
96
St. Teresa of Avila
year in which that monastery was founded, I was ordered by Fr.
Garcia de Toledo, a Dominican, who at the time was my con-
fessor, to write of that monastery's foundation, along with many
other things; whoever sees that work, if it is published, will learn
there of those events. 1 Now here in Salamanca, in the year 1573,
eleven years later, my confessor, a Father Rector from the So-
ciety, whose name is Maestro Ripaldo,2 having seen this book of
the first foundation, thought it would be of service to our Lord
if I wrote about the other seven monasteries3 that were since
founded through the goodness of the Lord, and also about the
first monastery of the discalced Fathers of this ancient order.4
And so he commanded me to write this. It seems impossible for
me to do so because I was so busy, both with correspondence
and with other necessary occupations ordered by my superiors. I
was recommending myself to God and somewhat distressed for
being so useless and in such poor health. Even without this feel-
ing of being useless, it often seemed to me because of my poor
health and my lowly natural inclinations that I wouldn't be able
to bear doing this work. While I was in this prayer, the Lord
said to me: "Daughter, obedience gives strength."
3. May it please His Majesty that this be so, and may He
grant me the grace to be able to recount for His glory the favors
that through these foundations He has granted this order. One
can be certain that this account will be given in all truthfulness,
without any exaggeration, in so far as possible, but in con-
formity with what has taken place. For even in something of
very little importance I wouldn't tell a lie for anything in the
world. In this work that is being written for the praise of our
Lord, any untruthfulness would cause me great scrupulosity. I
believe that such a thing would involve not only a waste of time
but deception concerning the works of God, and instead of
being praised for them He would be offended. It would be a
great betrayal. So that I might accomplish this task, may it
please His Majesty not to let me out of His hand.
Each foundation will be expressly mentioned. And I will try
to be brief, for my style is so heavy that although I may want to
be brief, I fear that I will become tiresome and tire even myself.
But because of the love my daughters have for me, they who will
The Foundations— Prologue
97
possess this work after my days are done will be able to put up
with the style.
4. I do not seek my own benefit in anything, nor do I have
any reason to do so, but only His glory and praise, for many
things will be seen for which glory and praise should be given
Him. Thus may it please our Lord that anyone who reads this
will not think of attributing praise to me, since to do so would be
against the truth. Rather, let readers ask His Majesty to pardon
me for the poor way in which I have benefited from all these fa-
vors. There is much greater reason for my daughters to com-
plain about this defect than to thank me for what has been done
through these favors. Let us, my daughters, give all our thanks
to the divine goodness for the many favors He has granted us. I
ask the reader to recite a Hail Mary out of love for Him that it
may help me to leave purgatory and reach the vision of Jesus
Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with the Father and the
Holy Spirit, forever and ever, amen.
5. Since I have a poor memory, I believe that many very im-
portant things will be left unsaid and that other things will be
said that could be omitted. In sum, the work will be in accord
with my lack of intelligence and culture and my lack also of the
quiet necessary for writing. They also are ordering me, if the oc-
casion offers itself, to deal with some things about prayer and
how, by being deceived, those who practice it could be kept
from making progress.
6. In all things I submit to what the holy Roman Church
holds, with the resolve that before this work reaches your hands,
my Sisters and daughters, learned and spiritual persons will see
it. I begin in the name of the Lord, taking for my help His glori-
ous Mother, whose habit I wear, although unworthily, and also
my glorious father and lord, St. Joseph, in whose house I am, for
he is the patron of this monastery of discalced nuns,5 through
whose prayer I have been continually helped.
7. In the year 1573, feastday of St. Louis, king of France,
which is August 24. 6 May God be praised!
Begins With the Foundation of the Carmel of
St. foseph in Medina del Campo
Chapter 1
On the circumstances surrounding the beginning of both this
foundation and the others.
From what I can understand now, the five years I spent in
St. Joseph's in Avila after its foundation1 seem to me to
have been the most restful of my life, and my soul often misses
that calm and quiet. During those years some young religious
women entered, whom the world, apparently, had already held
in its grasp as was manifested in their display of its elegant and
fashionable dress. Drawing them quickly away from those van-
ities, the Lord brought them to His house, endowing them with
so much perfection that it was to my embarrassment. He did
this until the number reached thirteen, which had been set as
the maximum number.2
2 . It was a delight for me to be among souls so holy and pure,
whose only concern was to serve and praise our Lord. His Maj-
esty sent us what was necessary without our asking for it; and
when we were in want, which was seldom, their joy was greater.
I praised our Lord to see so many lofty virtues, especially the de-
tachment they had from everything but serving Him. I, who was
the superior there, never remember worrying about the necessi-
ties of life. I was convinced that the Lord would not fail those
who had no other concern than to please Him. And if at times
there wasn't enough food for everyone and I said that what
there was should go to those most in need, each one thought
that she could do without, and so the food remained until God
sent enough for everyone.
3 . With respect to the virtue of obedience, to which I am very
devoted (although I didn't know how to practice it until those
servants of God so taught me that I couldn't be ignorant as to
whether or not I possessed it), I could mention many things that
I saw there. One thing comes to mind now, and the incident
99
100
St. Teresa of Avila
came about in the refectory one day when they served us help-
ings of cucumbers. My portion consisted of one that was very
thin and rotten inside. Secretly, I called a Sister, one of those
with greater intelligence and talents, to test her obedience and
told her to go and plant the cucumber in a little vegetable gar-
den we had. She asked me if she should plant it upright or side-
ways. I told her sideways. She went out and planted it, without
the thought entering her mind that the cucumber would only
dry up. Rather, since she planted it out of obedience, she blinded
natural reason so as to believe that what she did was very ap-
propriate.3
4. It occurred to me to charge one of them with six or seven
contradictory duties. She undertook them, remaining silent,
thinking it would be possible for her to do them all. There was a
well with very bad water according to those who tried it, and it
seemed impossible for the water to flow since the well was very
deep. When I called some workmen to dig a new one, they laughed
at me as though I were wanting to throw money away. I asked
the Sisters what they thought. One said that it should be tried,
that since our Lord would have to provide someone to bring us
water as well as food, it would be cheaper for His Majesty to give
us the well on the grounds of the house and that thus He would
not fail to do so. Observing the great faith and determination
with which she said it, I became certain. And, contrary to the
opinion of the one who understood all about founts and water, I
went ahead. And the Lord was pleased that we were able to put
in a conduit which provided enough water for our needs, and
for drinking, and which we now have.4
5 . I do not present this as a miracle, for there are other things
I could tell, but to show the faith these Sisters had since the
things did happen in the way I tell them. Nor is it my first inten-
tion to praise the nuns of these monasteries, for through the
goodness of the Lord, all of them act in this way. And of these
things and many others one could write at length, and with
benefit, for at times those who follow will be inspired to imitate
these Sisters. But if the Lord should desire this to be known, the
superiors will command the prioresses that they write of it.
6. Well now, this wretched one was among these angelic
The Foundations — Chapter 1
101
souls. They didn't seem to me to be anything else, for there was
no fault they hid from me, even if interior. And the favors, and
ardent desires, and detachment the Lord gave them were great.
Their consolation was their solitude. They assured me that they
never tired of being alone, and thus they felt it a torment when
others came to visit them, even if these were their brothers. The
one who had the greater opportunity to remain in a hermitage
considered herself the luckiest. In considering the real value of
these souls and the courage God gave them to serve and suffer
for Him, certainly not a characteristic of women, I often thought
that the riches God placed in them were meant for some great
purpose. What was later to come about never passed through
my mind, because it didn't seem then to be something possible.
There was no basis for even being able to imagine it, although
my desires to be of some help to some soul as time went on had
grown much greater. And I often felt like one who has a great
treasure stored up and desires that all enjoy it, but whose hands
are bound and unable to distribute it. So it seemed my soul was
bound because the favors the Lord was granting it during those
years were very great, and I thought that I was not putting them
to good use. I tried to please the Lord with my poor prayers and
always endeavored that the Sisters would do the same and dedi-
cate themselves to the good of souls and the increase of His
Church. Whoever conversed with them was always edified. And
these were the things with which my great desires were fully
taken up.
7. Four years later, or, I think, a little more than that, a Fran-
ciscan friar happened to come to see me, whose name was Fray
Alonso Maldonado,5 a great servant of God, who had the same
desires for the good of souls as I, but he was able to transfer
them into deeds for which I envied him greatly. He had recently
come back from the Indies. He began to tell me about the many
millions of souls that were being lost there for want of Christian
instruction, and before leaving he gave us a sermon, or confer-
ence, encouraging us to do penance. I was so grief-stricken over
the loss of so many souls that I couldn't contain myself. I went to a
hermitage6 with many tears. I cried out to the Lord, begging
Him that He give me the means to be able to do something to
102
St. Teresa of 'Avila
win some souls to His service, since the devil was carrying away
so many, and that my prayer would do some good since I wasn't
able to do anything else. I was very envious of those who for love
of our Lord were able to be engaged in winning souls, though
they might suffer a thousand deaths. And thus it happens to me
that when we read in the lives of the saints that they converted
souls, I feel much greater devotion, tenderness, and envy than
over all the martyrdoms they suffered. This is the inclination
the Lord has given me, for it seems to me that He prizes a soul
that through our diligence and prayer we gain for Him, through
His mercy, more than all the services we can render Him.
8. Well, going about with such great affliction, while I was in
prayer one night, our Lord represented Himself to me in His
usual way. He showed me much love, manifesting His desire to
comfort me, and said: "Wait a little, daughter, and you will see
great things."
These words remained so fixed in my heart that I could not
forget them. No matter how much I thought about this promise
I couldn't figure out how it would be possible, nor was there a
way of even imagining how it could come about. Nonetheless, I
remained very much consoled and certain that these words would
prove true. But the means by which they eventually did never
entered my mind. Thus another half year, I think, passed, and
afterward there took place what I shall now describe.
Chapter 2
How our Father General came to Avila and what followed from
his visit.
Our generals always reside in Rome and none ever came
to Spain.1 So it seemed impossible that one should come
now. But since nothing is impossible when our Lord wants it, His
Majesty ordained that what had never happened before should
come about now. When I came to know of it, I felt grieved. For
as was already mentioned concerning the foundation of St.
Joseph's, that house was not subject to the friars for the reason
The Foundations — Chapter 2
103
given.2 1 feared two things: one, that our Father General would
be displeased with me (and rightly so since he was unaware of
how the things had come to pass); the other, that he would or-
der me to return to the monastery of the Incarnation, where the
mitigated rule is observed, which for me would have been an af-
fliction for many reasons — there would be no point in going into
them. One reason should be enough: that in the Incarnation I
wouldn't be able to observe the austerity of the primitive rule,
that the community numbers more than 150, 3 and that where
there are few there is more harmony and quiet. Our Lord did
better than I had imagined. For the general is such a servant of
the Lord, and so discreet and learned, that he regarded the
work as good; moreover he showed no displeasure toward me.
His name is Fray Juan Bautista Rubeo de Ravena, a person very
distinguished in the order, and rightly so.4
2. Well then, when he arrived in Avila, I arranged that he
come to St. Joseph's. And the bishop5 thought it well that he be
given all the welcome that the bishop himself would receive. I
gave our Father General an account in all truth and openness,
for it is my inclination to speak thus with my superiors, whatever
might happen, since they stand in the place of God— and with
confessors, the same. If I didn't do this, it wouldn't seem to me
that my soul was secure. And so I gave him an account of my
soul and of almost my whole life, although it is very wretched.
He consoled me much and assured me that he wouldn't order
me to leave St. Joseph's.
3. He rejoiced to see our manner of life, a portrait, although
an imperfect one, of the beginnings of our order, and how the
primitive rule was being kept in all its rigor, for it wasn't being
observed in any monastery in the entire order; only the miti-
gated rule was observed.6 And with the desire he had that this
beginning go forward, he gave me very extensive patent letters,
so that more monasteries could be founded, along with censures
to prevent any provincial from restraining me. 7 1 did not ask for
these, but he understood from my way of prayer that my desires
to help some soul come closer to God were great.
4. I was not seeking these means; rather the thought seemed
104
St. Teresa of Avila
to me foolish because a useless little woman as helpless as I well
understood that she couldn't do anything. But when these de-
sires come to a soul, it is not in its power to put them aside. Faith
and the love of pleasing God make possible what to natural rea-
son is not possible. And thus in seeing the strong desire of our
Most Reverend General that more monasteries be founded, it
seemed to me I saw them founded. Remembering the words our
Lord had spoken to me,8 I now perceived some beginning to
what before I could not understand. I was very sad to see our
Father General return to Rome. I had grown to love him very
much, and it seemed to me I was left helpless. He showed me the
greatest kindness, and during the times that he was free from his
duties he came to speak about spiritual things as one to whom
the Lord must grant great favors. In this house it was a consola-
tion for us to hear him. Moreover, before he went away, the
bishop, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, very devoted to favoring those
who aim after serving God with greater perfection, asked him
permission for the foundation in his diocese of some monasteries
of discalced friars of the primitive rule. Other persons also asked
for this. Our Father General wanted to do so, but he found dis-
agreement within the order. And thus, so as not to disturb the
province, he let the matter go for then.
5. After some days passed, I was thinking about how neces-
sary it would be if monasteries of nuns were to be founded that
there be friars observing the same rule. Seeing how few friars
there were in this province, making me even wonder whether or
not they were going to die out, I prayed to the Lord over the
matter very much and wrote to Father General. In the letter, I
begged him for this permission as best I knew how, giving him
the reasons why it would be a great service to God. I pointed out
how the difficulties that could arise were not sufficient to set
aside so good a work, and suggested to him what service it would
render to our Lady, to whom he was very devoted. She must
have been the one who arranged it. This letter reached him
while he was in Valencia, and from there he sent me the permis-
sion for the foundation of two monasteries because he desired
the best religious observance for the order.9 So that there
wouldn't be any opposition, he made his permission subject to
The Foundations — Chapter 3
105
the approval, difficult to obtain, of both the present and the
former provincial. But since I saw that the main thing was
accomplished, I had special hope the Lord would do the rest.
And so it happened that through the kindness of the bishop,
who took up this matter as his own, both provincials gave their
permission.10
6. Well then, being consoled in having the permissions, my
concern grew in that there was no friar in the province that I
knew of who could begin this work, nor any layman who desired
to make such a start. I didn't do anything but beg our Lord that
he would awaken at least one person. Neither did I have a house
or the means to get one. Here I was, a poor discalced nun, with-
out help from anywhere — only from the Lord— weighed down
with patent letters and good desires, and without there being
any possibility of my getting the work started. Neither courage
nor hope failed, for since the Lord had given the one thing, He
would give the other. Everything now seemed very possible, and
so I set to work.
7 . O greatness of God! How You manifest Your power in giv-
ing courage to an ant! How true, my Lord, that it is not because
of You that those who love You fail to do great works but be-
cause of our own cowardice and pusillanimity. Since we are
never determined, but full of human prudence and a thousand
fears, You, consequently, my God, do not do your marvelous
and great works. Who is more fond than You of giving, or of
serving even at a cost to Yourself, when there is someone open to
receive? May it please Your Majesty that I render You some serv-
ice and that I not have to render an accounting for all that I
have received, amen.
Chapter 3
The circumstances surrounding the foundation of the monas-
tery of St. foseph in Medina del Campo.
While I was having all these concerns, the thought came
to me to ask help from the Fathers of the Society, for they
were well accepted in that place, that is, in Medina. As I have
106
St. Teresa of Avila
written in my account of the first foundation, they guided my
soul for many years. I always feel especially devoted to them be-
cause of the great good they did for it.1 1 wrote to the rector in
Medina about what our Father General had ordered me to do.
The rector happened to be the one who had been my confessor
for many years, whom I mentioned, although I did not give his
name. His name is Baltasar Alvarez, and at present he is provin-
cial.2 He and the others said they would do what they could
about the matter. They thus did a great deal to secure permis-
sion from the people and the bishop,3 for since the monastery is
to be founded in poverty, permission is everywhere difficult to
obtain. So there was a delay of several days in the negotiations.
2. A priest went there to attend to these negotiations. He was
a good servant of God, very detached from all worldly things
and much dedicated to prayer. He was the chaplain in the mon-
astery where I lived. The Lord gave him the same desires that
He gave me, and so I was helped very much by him, as will be
seen further on. His name is Julian de Avila.4
Well, now that I had the permission, I didn't have a house or
a penny to buy one with. Furthermore, how could a poor wan-
derer like myself get credit for a loan unless the Lord would give
it? The Lord provided that a very virtuous young lady, who be-
cause of lack of room could not enter St. Joseph's, heard that
another house was being founded and came to ask if I would ac-
cept her in the new one. She had some money which was very lit-
tle and not enough to buy a house but enough to rent one and to
help with the travel expenses.5 And so we found one to rent.
Without any more support than this and with our Father Chap-
lain, Julian de Avila, we left Avila. Besides myself, there were
two nuns from St. Joseph's and four from the Incarnation, the
monastery of the mitigated rule where I stayed before St. Jo-
seph's was founded.6
3. When our intention became known in the city, there was
much criticism. Some were saying I was crazy; others were hop-
ing for an end to that nonsense. To the bishop — according to
what he told me later— the idea seemed very foolish. But he
didn't then let me know this; neither did he hinder me, for he
loved me much and didn't want to hurt me. My friends said a
The Foundations— Chapter 3
107
great deal against the project. But I didn't pay much attention
to them. For that which to them seemed doubtful, to me seemed
so easy that I couldn't persuade myself that it would fail to be a
true success.
Before we left Avila, I wrote to a Father of our order, Fray
Antonio de Heredia, 7 asking him to buy me a house, for he was
then prior at St. Anne's, the monastery of friars of our order in
Medina. He spoke of the matter to a lady who was devoted to
him,8 for she had a house that had completely collapsed except
for one room. The house was situated in a fine location. She was
so good she promised to sell the house and so they came to an
agreement without her asking for any surety or binding force
other than his word. If she had asked for any, we would have
had no resources. The Lord was arranging everything. This
house was so tumble-down that we had rented another to live in
while it was being repaired, for there was much to do on it.
4. Well, on the first day, as nightfall was approaching and we
were entering Arevalo and tired because of our bad provisions for
traveling, a priest friend of ours who had lodging for us in the
home of some devout women came out to meet us. He told me in
secret that we didn't have a house because the one rented was
near a monastery of Augustinian friars who resisted our coming
and that a lawsuit would be unavoidable.9 Oh, God help me!
When You, Lord, want to give courage, how little do all con-
tradictions matter! Rather, it seems I am encouraged by them,
thinking that since the devil is beginning to be disturbed the Lord
will be served in that monastery. Nonetheless, I told the priest to
be quiet about it so as not to disturb my companions; especially
two of them from the Incarnation, for the others would suffer any
trial for me. One of these two was then subprioress there,10 and
the two did much to impede the departure. They were both from
good families and were coming against their will because what we
were doing seemed absurd to everyone. Afterward I saw that they
were more than right. For when the Lord is pleased that I found
one of these houses, it seems that until after the foundation is
made my mind doesn't admit any reason that would seem suffi-
cient to set the work aside. After the deed is done, all the dif-
ficulties come before me together, as will be seen later.
108
St. Teresa of Avila
5. When we reached our lodging place, I learned that in the
town was a Dominican friar, a very great servant of God, to
whom I had confessed during the time that I was in St. Joseph's.
Because in writing of that foundation I spoke much about his
virtue, I will mention here no more than his name, Fray Maestro
Domingo Banez.11 He is very learned and discreet. By his opin-
ion I was guided, and in his opinion the foundation was not as
troublesome as it seemed to others. The person who knows God
better does God's work more easily. And from some of the favors
that he knew His Majesty granted me and from what he had
seen in the foundation of St. Joseph's, everything seemed to him
to be very possible. It was a great consolation to me when I saw
him, for with his favorable opinion it seemed to me everything
would turn out all right. Well, when he came to see me, I told
him in strict secrecy of my plan. To him it seemed that we could
bring the matter with the Augustinians to a quick conclusion.
But any delay was hard for me to bear because I didn't know
what to do with so many nuns. And thus, because inside the
lodging place the nuns had been told of the situation, we all
passed the night with much apprehension.
6. The first thing in the morning the prior of our order, Fray
Antonio, arrived and said that the house he had made an agree-
ment to buy was adequate and had an entrance way which if
adorned with some hangings could be made into a little church.
We decided to move into that house. At least to me the idea
seemed very good, for whatever could be done more quickly is
what suited us best since we were outside our monasteries. And
also I feared some opposition, since I learned through experi-
ence from the first foundation. Thus I desired that we take pos-
session of the house before our intentions be made known, and
so we determined to do this at once. Our Father Master Fray
Domingo, agreed.
7. We arrived in Medina del Campo on the eve of our Lady's
feast in August at twelve midnight. We dismounted at the mon-
astery of St. Anne's so as not to make noise and proceeded to the
house on foot. It was by the great mercy of God that we were not
struck by any of the bulls being corralled at that hour for the
next day's run. We were so engrossed in what we were doing that
The Foundations— Chapter 3
109
we didn't pay any attention. However, the Lord, who always
takes care of those who seek to serve Him (and indeed, that's
what we were trying to do), kept us from being harmed.
8. When we arrived at the house, we entered the courtyard.
The walls looked to me to be quite dilapidated, but not as dilap-
idated as they looked when daylight came. It seems the Lord
wanted that blessed Father to be blinded and thus unable to see
that the place was not suitable for the Blessed Sacrament. When
we saw the entrance way, it was necessary to clear away the dirt
since overhead was nothing but a rustic roof of bare tile. Be-
cause the walls were not plastered, the night almost over, and all
we had were some blankets— I believe there were three — which
for the whole length of the entrance way were nothing, I didn't
know what to do. For I saw that the place wasn't suitable for an
altar. It pleased the Lord, who wanted the place to be prepared
immediately, that the butler of that lady who was the owner had
at her house many tapestries belonging to her and a blue dam-
ask bed-hanging; and the lady had told him to give us whatever
we wanted, for she was very good.
9. When I saw such nice furnishings, I praised the Lord, and
so did the others — although we didn't know what to do for nails,
nor was it the hour for buying them. We began to look in the
walls. Finally, through much effort, a supply was found. With
some of the men hanging the tapestries, and we cleaning the
floor, we worked so quickly that when dawn came the altar was
set up, and the little bell placed in a corridor; and immediately
Mass was said. Having Mass was sufficient in order to take posses-
sion. But not knowing this, we reserved the Blessed Sacrament,12
and through some cracks in the door that was in front of us, we
attended the Mass, for there was no place else for us to do so.
10. Up to this point I was very happy because for me it is the
greatest consolation to see one church more where the Blessed
Sacrament is preserved. But my happiness did not last long. For
when Mass was finished I went to look a little bit through a win-
dow at the courtyard, and I saw that all the walls in some places
had fallen to the ground and that many days would be required
to repair them. Oh, God help me! When I saw His Majesty placed
in the street, at a time so dangerous, on account of those Luther-
110
St. Teresa of Avila
ans,13 as this time in which we now live, what anguish came to
my heart!
11. To this anguish were joined all the difficulties that those
who had strongly criticized the project could bring up. I under-
stood clearly that those persons were right. It seemed impossible
for me to go ahead with what had been begun. Just as previously
everything seemed easy to me when I reflected that I was doing
it for God, so now my temptation constricted the Lord's power
to such an extent that it didn't seem I had received any favor
from Him. Only my lowliness and my powerlessness did I have
before me. Well now, supported by something so miserable,
what success could I hope for? Had I been alone, I think I could
have suffered the situation. But to think that my companions,
after the opposition with which they had left, had to return to
their houses was a painful thing to bear. Also, it seemed to me
that since this first attempt had gone wrong, everything that I
had understood I must do for the Lord in the future would not
come about. Then, in addition, came the fear concerning
whether or not what I understood in prayer was an illusion. This
latter was not the least suffering but the greatest, for I had the
strongest fear of being deceived by the devil.
O my God, what a thing it is to see a soul when You desire to
abandon it to suffering! Indeed, when I recall this affliction and
some others that I have had in the course of making these foun-
dations, it doesn't seem to me that bodily trials, even though
great, are anything in comparison.
12. With all this anguish that kept me truly depressed, I
didn't let my companions know anything because I didn't want
to cause them more distress than they already had. I suffered
with this trial until evening, for then the rector of the Society
sent a Father to see me who greatly encouraged and comforted
me. I didn't tell him all my sufferings but only those which I felt
at seeing us on the street. I began to speak of his finding us a
house to rent, cost what it would cost, so that we could move to
another one while this one was being repaired. And I began to
console myself in seeing the many people who came, and that
none of them had any thought that what we did was foolish,
which was mercy from God, for it would have been very right if
The Foundations — Chapter 3
111
the Blessed Sacrament had been taken away from us. Now I
think back on my foolishness and how no one thought of con-
suming the Eucharist, though it seemed to me that if it had been
consumed, everything would have been undone.
13. Despite our great efforts, no house for rent was found in
the whole area. This made me suffer through very painful
nights and days. Even though I put some men in charge of al-
ways keeping watch over the Blessed Sacrament, I was worried
that they might fall asleep. So I arose during the night to watch
it through a window, for the moon was very bright and I could
easily see it. Many people came during all those days, and not
only did they fail to perceive this as wrong but they were stirred
to devotion to see our Lord once again in the stable. And His
Majesty, as one who never tires of humiliating Himself for us,
didn't seem to want to leave it.
14. After eight days had passed, a merchant who lived in a
very nice house,14 told us when he saw our need that we could
live on the upper floor of his house and stay there as though in
our own. It had a large gilded room that he gave us for a
church. And a lady who lived next to the house that we bought,
whose name was Dona Elena de Quiroga, a great servant of
God, told me she would help so that construction of a chapel for
the Blessed Sacrament could be immediately started, and also
accommodations made so that we could observe the rule of en-
closure. Others gave us many alms for food, but this lady was
the one who aided me most.15
15. Now with this I began to calm down because we were
able to keep strict enclosure, and we began to recite the Hours.
The good prior hurried very much with the repair of the house,
and he suffered many trials. Nonetheless, the work took two
months. But the house was repaired in such a way that we were
able to live there in a reasonably good manner for several years.
Afterward, our Lord continued bringing about improvements
for it.
16. While in Medina, I was still concerned about the mon-
asteries for friars, and since I didn't have any, as I said,16 I
didn't know what to do. So I decided to speak about the matter
very confidentially with the prior there17 to see what he would
112
St. Teresa of Avila
counsel me, and this I did. He was happy to know of it and
promised me he would be the first. I took it that he was joking
with me and told him so. For although he was always a good
friar, recollected, very studious, and fond of his cell — in fact, he
was a learned man— it didn't seem to me he was the one for a be-
ginning like this. Neither would he have the courage or promote
the austerity that was necessary, since he was fragile and not
given to austerity. He assured me very much and asserted that
for many days the Lord had been calling him to a stricter life.
Thus he had already decided to go to the Carthusians, and they
had already told him they would accept him. Despite all this, I
was not completely satisfied. Although I was happy to hear what
he said, I asked that we put it off for a while and that he prepare
by putting into practice the things he would be promising. And
this he did, for a year passed and during that year so many trials
and persecutions from many false accusations came upon him
that it seems the Lord wanted to test him. He bore it all so well
and was making such progress that I praised our Lord, and it
seemed to me His Majesty was preparing him for the new foun-
dation.
17. A little later it happened that a young Father came there
who was studying at Salamanca. He came along with another,
as his companion, who told me great things about the life this
Father was leading. The young Father's name was Fray John of
the Cross.18 I praised our Lord. And when I spoke with this
young friar, he pleased me very much. I learned from him how
he also wanted to go to the Carthusians. Telling him what I was
attempting to do, I begged him to wait until the Lord would
give us a monastery and pointed out the great good that would
be accomplished if in his desire to improve he were to remain in
his own order and that much greater service would be rendered
to the Lord. He promised me he would remain as long as he
wouldn't have to wait long. When I saw that I already had two
friars to begin with, it seemed to me the matter was taken care
of; although I still wasn't so satisfied with the prior, and thus I
waited a while, and waited also for the sake of finding a place
where they could begin.
18. The nuns were gaining esteem in the town and receiving
The Foundations — Chapter 4
113
much affection. In my opinion, rightly so, for they were not in-
terested in anything else than how each one could serve our
Lord more. In all matters they lived the same way as at St.
Joseph's in Avila since the rule and constitutions were the same.
The Lord began to call some women to receive the habit, and
the favors He gave them were so great that I was amazed. May
He be ever blessed, amen. In order to love, it doesn't seem that
He waits for anything else than to be loved.
Chapter 4
Treats of some favors the Lord grants to the nuns of these mon-
asteries and gives counsel to the prioresses about the attitude
one should have toward these nuns. 1
Since I do not know how much time on this earth the Lord
will still give me, or how much opportunity to write, and
since now it seems I have a little time, I thought that before I go
further I should give some counsels to prioresses. Through
these, the prioresses will learn both to understand themselves
and to guide their subjects so that the souls of these latter will re-
ceive greater benefit, even though with less satisfaction.
It should be noted that, when they ordered me to write about
these foundations, seven monasteries (leaving aside the first
one, St. Joseph's in Avila, of which I wrote at that time) had
been founded by the Lord's favor. This takes us up to the foun-
dation of Alba de Tormes, which is the last of them. The reason
that more have not been established is that my superiors have
tied me down to something else, as will be seen later.2
2. Well, in observing what has been happening spiritually
during these years in these monasteries, I have seen the need for
what I want to say. May it please our Lord that I may manage to
do so in accordance with what I see is necessary. If the spiritual
experiences are not counterfeit, it's necessary that souls not be
frightened. For as I have mentioned in other places, in some lit-
tle things I've written for the Sisters,3 if we proceed with a pure
conscience and obediently, the Lord will never permit the devil
114
St. Teresa of Avila
to have enough influence to deceive harmfully our souls; on the
contrary, the devil himself is the one who is left deceived. And
since he knows this, I don't believe he does as much harm as our
imagination and bad humors do, especially if there is melan-
choly; for the nature of women is weak, and the self-love that
reigns in us is very subtle. Thus many persons have come to me,
both men and women, together with the nuns of these houses,
who I have clearly discerned were often deceiving themselves
without wanting to do so. I really believe that the devil must be
meddling so as to trick us. But I have seen very many, as I say,
whom the Lord in His goodness has not let out of His hand. Per-
haps He wants to exercise them through these deceptions they
undergo so that they might gain experience.
3. Things pertaining to prayer and perfection are, because
of our own sins, so discredited in the world that it's necessary for
me to explain myself the way I do. If even without seeing danger
people fear to walk this path of prayer, what would happen if we
mentioned some of the danger? Although, truthfully, there is
danger in everything, and, while we live, we have to proceed
with fear and ask the Lord to teach us and not abandon us. But,
as I believe I once said,4 if some danger can be lacking, there is
much less of it for those who turn their thoughts more to God
and strive for perfection in their lives.
4. Since, my Lord, we see that You often free us from the dan-
gers in which we place ourselves, even in opposition to You, how
can one believe that You will fail to free us when we aim after
nothing more than to please You and delight in You? Never can I
believe this! It could be that because of other secret judgments
God might permit some things that must happen anyway. But
good never brought about evil. Thus, may what I have said help
us strive to walk better along the road so as to please our Spouse
more and find Him sooner, but not make us abandon it; and en-
courage us to walk with fortitude along a road that has such rug-
ged mountain passes, as does that of this life, but not intimidate
us from walking through them. For, in the final analysis, by pro-
ceeding with humility, through the mercy of God, we will reach
that city of Jerusalem, where all that has been suffered will be lit-
tle, or nothing, in comparison with what is enjoyed.
The Foundations — Chapter 4
115
5. Well, as these little dovecotes of the Virgin, our Lady,
were beginning to be inhabited, the divine Majesty began to
show His greatness in these weak little women, who were strong
though in their desires and their detachment from every crea-
ture. When practiced with a pure conscience, such detachment
must be what most joins the soul to God. There is no need to
point this out because if the detachment is true it seems to me
impossible that one offend the Lord. Since in all their dealings
and conversations these nuns are concerned with Him, His Maj-
esty doesn't seem to want to leave them. This is what I see now
and in truth can say. Let those fear who are to come and who
will read this. And if they do not see what is now seen, let them
not blame the times, for it is always a suitable time for God to
grant great favors to the one who truly serves Him. And let them
strive to discern whether there is some failure in this detachment
and correct it.
6. I sometimes hear it said about the first members of reli-
gious orders that since they were the foundation the Lord
granted them greater favors as He did to our holy forebears; and
this is true. But we must always observe that they are the foun-
dation for those who are to come. If we who live now had not
fallen from where our forebears were, and those who come after
us would live as they did, the edifice would always be firm.
What does it profit me that our forebears had been so holy if I
afterward am so wretched that I leave the edifice damaged
through bad customs? For it is clear that those who come will
not so much remember those who lived many years ago as those
they see before them. It would be rather amusing were I to make
the excuse that I am not one of the first members and at the
same time fail to recognize the difference lying between my life
and virtue and that of those to whom God granted such great
favors.
7. Oh, God help me! What twisted excuses and what obvious
deceit! I regret, my God, to be so wretched and so useless in your
service; but I know well that the fault lies within me that You do
not grant me the favors You did to my forebears. I grieve over
my life, Lord, when I compare it with theirs, and I cannot say
this without tears. I see that I have lost what they have worked
116
St. Teresa of Avila
for and that I can in no way blame You. Nor is it in any way
good for persons to complain if they see their order in some de-
cline; rather, they should strive to be the kind of rock on which
the edifice may again be raised, for the Lord will help toward
that.5
8. Well to return to what I was saying,6 for I have digressed a
great deal, the favors the Lord grants in these houses are so
many that if there are one or two in each that God leads now by
meditation all the rest reach perfect contemplation. Some are so
advanced that they attain to rapture. To others the Lord grants
a favor of another kind, giving them, along with rapture, reve-
lations and visions that one clearly understands to be from God.
There is no house now that does not have one, two, or three who
receive this latter favor. Well do I understand that sanctity does
not lie in these favors, nor is it my intention to praise only them
but to make it understood that the counsels I want to give have a
purpose.
Chapter 5
Gives some counsels on matters concerning prayer. This chapter
is very beneficial for those engaged in active works.
It is not my intention or thought that what I say here be
taken for certain and as an infallible rule, for that would be
foolish in things so difficult. Since there are many paths along
this way of the spirit, it could be that I will manage to say certain
useful things about some of them. If those who do not walk
along the path of which I'm speaking do not understand what
I'm saying, it will be because they are walking by another. And
if I do not help anyone, the Lord will accept my desire. He
knows that even though I have not experienced all of which I
speak, I have seen it in other souls.
2. First, I want to treat, according to my poor understand-
ing, of the substance of perfect prayer. For I have run into some
for whom it seems the whole business lies in thinking. If they can
keep their mind much occupied in God, even though great ef-
The Foundations — Chapter 5
117
fort is exerted, they at once think they are spiritual. If, on the
contrary, without being able to avoid it, they become dis-
tracted, even if for the sake of good things, they then become
disconsolate and think they are lost. Learned men will not fall
victim to these misconceptions, although I have already met
learned men who have had some of them. But it is fitting that
we women receive advice with regard to all these misunder-
standings. I do not deny that it is a favor from the Lord if some-
one is able to be always meditating on His works, and it is good
that one strive to do so. However, it must be understood that not
all imaginations are by their nature capable of this meditating,
but all souls are capable of loving. I have already at another
time written about the causes of this restlessness of our imagi-
nation, I think;1 not all the causes — that would be impossible
—but some. And so I am not treating of this now. But I should
like to explain that the soul is not the mind, nor is the will
directed by thinking, for this would be very unfortunate.
Hence, the soul's progress does not lie in thinking much but in
loving much.
3. How does one acquire this love? By being determined to
work and to suffer, and to do so when the occasion arises. It is
indeed true that by thinking of what we owe the Lord, of who
He is, and what we are, a soul's determination grows, and that
this thinking is very meritorious and appropriate for beginners.
But it must be understood that this is true provided that nothing
interferes with obedience or benefit to one's neighbor. When
either of these two things presents itself, time is demanded, and
also the abandonment of what we so much desire to give God,
which, in our opinion, is to be alone thinking of Him and de-
lighting in the delights that He gives us. To leave aside these de-
lights for either of these other two things is to give delight to
Him and do the work for Him, as He Himself said: What you
did for one of these little ones you did for Me.2 And in matters
touching on obedience He doesn't want the soul who truly loves
Him to take any other path than the one He did: obediens usque
ad mortem*
4. Well if this is true, from where does the displeasure pro-
ceed which for the greater part is felt when one has not spent a
118
St. Teresa of Avila
large part of the day very much withdrawn and absorbed in
God, even though we are occupied with these other things? In
my opinion, there are two reasons for this displeasure: The first
and main one4 is the very subtle self-love that is mixed in here.
This self-love does not allow one to understand what it is to want
to please ourselves rather than God. For, clearly, after a soul
begins to taste how sweet the Lord is,5 it is more pleasing for the
body to be resting without work and for the soul to be receiving
delight.
5. O charity of those who truly love this Lord and know their
own nature I How little rest they can have if they see they may
play a little part in getting even one soul to make progress and to
love God more, or in consoling it, or in taking away some danger
from it. How poorly would it then rest with this particular rest of
its own! And when it cannot help with deeds, it will do so with
prayer, begging the Lord for the many souls that it is sad to see
being lost. The soul loses its delight and counts the loss as gain,
for it doesn't think about its own satisfaction but rather about
how it can best do the Lord's will, and this it does through obe-
dience. It would be a distressing thing if God were clearly telling
us to go after something that matters to Him and we would not
want to do so but want to remain looking at Him because that is
more pleasing to us. What an amusing kind of progress in the
love of God it is, to tie His hands by thinking that He cannot
help us except by one path!
6. I know personally some individuals (leaving aside, as I
have said,6 what I have experienced) who brought me to under-
stand this truth when I was greatly distressed to see myself with
so little time. And I thus was sorry for them to see they were so
occupied with so many business matters and things that obedi-
ence commanded them. I was thinking to myself, and even said
so, that it wasn't possible in the midst of such commotion for the
spirit to grow, for at that time they didn't have much spirit. O
Lord, how different are your paths from our clumsy imaginings!
And how from a soul that is already determined to love You and
is abandoned into Your hands, You do not want anything but
that it obey, that it inquire well into what is for Your greater ser-
vice, and that it desire this! There's no need for it to be seeking
The Foundations — Chapter 5
119
out paths or choosing them, for its will is Yours. You, my Lord,
take up this care of guiding it to where it receives the most bene-
fit. The prelate who is the superior may not be concerned for
what benefits the soul but concerned only that the business he
thinks is fitting for the community be attended to. Yet, You, my
God, do have concern and go about disposing the soul and the
things with which it is dealing in such a way that, without under-
standing how, we find in ourselves spiritual improvement, so
great that we are afterward left amazed.
7 . There was a person to whom I spoke a few days ago who
for about fifteen years was kept so busy through obedience with
work in occupations and government that in all those years he
didn't remember having had one day for himself, although he
tried the best he could to keep a pure conscience and have some
periods each day for prayer. His soul in its inclination is one of
the most obedient I have seen, and so he communicates this
spirit of obedience to all those with whom he deals. The Lord
has repaid him well; for he has found that he has, without know-
ing how, that same precious and desirable liberty of spirit that
the perfect have. In it, they find all the happiness that could be
wanted in this life, for in desiring nothing they possess all.
Nothing on earth do they fear or desire, neither do trials dis-
turb them, nor do consolations move them. In sum, nothing can
take away their peace because these souls depend only on God.
And since no one can take Him away from them, only the fear of
losing Him can cause them pain. Everything else in this world, in
their opinion, is as though it were not; it neither contributes any-
thing nor removes anything from their happiness. Oh, happy
obedience and happy the resulting distraction that could obtain
so much!
8. This is not the only person, for I have known others of the
same sort, whom I had not seen for some, or many, years. In
asking them about how they had spent these years, I learned
that the years were all spent in the fulfillment of the duties of
obedience and charity. On the other hand, I saw such improve-
ment in spiritual things that I was amazed. Well, come now, my
daughters, don't be sad when obedience draws you to involve-
ment in exterior matters. Know that if it is in the kitchen, the
120
St. Teresa of Avila
Lord walks among the pots and pans helping you both interiorly
and exteriorly.
9. I remember that I met a religious who had resolved and
become very determined never to say "no" to anything his supe-
rior commanded no matter how much labor it would cost him.
One day he was completely worn out from work; and when it
was already late and he could no longer stay on his feet and went
to sit down and rest a little, the superior met him and told him
to take the hoe and go dig in the garden. He remained silent; al-
though in his human nature he was indeed afflicted, for he
couldn't help it. He took his hoe and when he was about to enter
a passageway into the garden (I saw the spot many years after he
told me of this, for I managed to found a house in that place),
our Lord appeared to him weighed down with the cross, so tired
and worn that this religious understood clearly that what he
himself was enduring was nothing when compared with what
the Lord endured.
10. I believe that, since the devil sees there is no path that
leads more quickly to the highest perfection than obedience, he
sets up many annoyances and difficulties under the color of
good. Note this well and you will see clearly that I am speaking
the truth. The highest perfection obviously does not consist in
interior delights or in great raptures or in visions or in the spirit
of prophecy but in having our will so much in conformity with
God's will that there is nothing we know He wills that we do not
want with all our desire, and in accepting the bitter as happily
as we do the delightful when we know that His Majesty desires it.
This seems most difficult (not the doing of it, but this being con-
tent with what completely contradicts our nature); and indeed
it truly is difficult. But love has this strength if it is perfect, for
we forget about pleasing ourselves in order to please the one we
love. And truly this is so; for even though the trials may be very
great, they become sweet when we know we are pleasing God.
And this is the way by which those who have reached this stage
love persecutions, dishonor, and offenses. This is so certain, so
well known, and so plain that there is no reason for me to delay
over the matter.
11. What I intend to explain is why obedience, in my opin-
The Foundations — Chapter 5
121
ion, is the quickest or best means for reaching this most happy
state. The reason is that since we are by no means lords of our
own will in such a way that we can employ it purely and simply
in God, obedience is the true path for subjecting it to reason.
For this subjection is not accomplished by means of good rea-
sons; human nature and self-love can find so many of them that
we would never arrive at the goal. And often the most reason-
able thing seems to us foolish if it is not to our advantage.
12. So much could be said here that we would never finish
dealing with this interior battle and all that the devil, the world,
and our own sensuality do to make us twist reason.
Well, what is the remedy? That in obedience, just as in a very
dubious litigation, a judge is accepted and both sides place the
matter in his hands. Tired of arguing, our soul accepts one who
may be either the superior or the confessor with the determina-
tion not to have any more argument or to think any more of its
own case but to trust the words of the Lord who says, Whoever
hears you hears Me,1 and it disregards its own will. The Lord es-
teems this surrender very much, and rightly so, because it means
making Him Lord over the free will He has given us. By exercis-
ing ourselves in this surrender, sometimes denying ourselves, at
other times waging a thousand battles since the judgment made
in our case seems to us absurd, we come to be conformed with
what they command us. It can be a painful exercise, but with or
without the pain we in the end do what is commanded, and the
Lord helps so much on His part that for the same reason that we
subject our will and reason to Him He makes us lords over our
will. Then, being lords of ourselves, we can with perfection be
occupied with God, giving Him a pure will that He may join it
with His, asking Him to send fire from heaven so that His love
may burn this sacrifice8 and take away everything that could
displease him. We have done what we can by placing the sacri-
fice on the altar, although through much hardship. And, inso-
far as is in our power, the sacrifice remains on the altar and does
not touch the ground.
13. Clearly, no one can give what he does not have; he must
have it first. Well, believe me that in order to acquire this trea-
sure there is no better way than to dig and toil in order to exca-
122
St. Teresa of Avila
vate from this mine of obedience. The more we dig the more we
shall find; and the more we submit to men, having no other will
than that of our superiors, the more we shall be lords over our
will so as to bring it into conformity with God's will.
Observe, Sisters, whether leaving the pleasure of solitude is
not well repaid. I tell you that it is not because of a lack of soli-
tude that you will fail to dispose yourselves to reach this true
union that was mentioned, that is, to make your will one with
God's. This is the union that I desire and would want for all of
you, and not some absorptions, however delightful they may be,
that have been given the name "union." The absorption will be
genuine union if afterward there is present the union just ex-
plained. But if after this suspension not much obedience re-
mains, and self-will is present, it seems to me the soul will be
united with its self-love rather than with the will of God. May His
Majesty be pleased that I act in accordance with what I under-
stand.
14. The second reason,9 it seems to me, for this displeasure is
that since in solitude there are fewer occasions to offend the
Lord (for some cannot be lacking because the devils and we our-
selves are present everywhere), it seems the soul in its journey is
freer from stain. For if it is fearful of offending Him, it finds the
greatest consolation in not having anything to make it stumble.
And certainly this seems to me reason enough for desiring not to
have conversation with anyone unless it's about God's great fa-
vors and delights.
15. Here, my daughters, is where love will be seen: not hid-
den in corners but in the midst of the occasions of falling. 10 And
believe me that even though there may be more faults, and even
some slight losses, our gain will be incomparably greater. Note
that I am always presupposing that these things are done out of
obedience or charity. For if these latter are not factors, I always
repeat that solitude is better, and even that we must desire it.
We must desire solitude even when involved in the things I'm
speaking of; indeed, this desire is continually present in souls
that truly love God. As for my saying that leaving solitude is a
gain, I say this because doing so makes us realize who we are and
the degree of virtue we have. For people who are always recol-
The Foundations — Chapter 5
123
lected in solitude, however holy in their own opinion they may
be, don't know whether they are patient or humble, nor do they
have the means of knowing this. How could it be known whether
a man were valiant if he were not seen in battle? St. Peter thought
he was very courageous; see how he acted when the occasion
presented itself.11 But he came through that experience not
trusting at all in himself, and as a result he trusted in God and
subsequently suffered the martyrdom about which we know.12
16. Oh, God help me, if only we understood how great our
misery isl In everything there is danger if we do not understand
this misery. For that reason it is a great good for us if we are or-
dered to do things that show us our own lowliness. I consider one
day of humble self-knowledge a greater favor from the Lord,
even though the day may have cost us numerous afflictions and
trials, than many days of prayer. Moreover, the true lover loves
everywhere and is always thinking of the Beloved! It would be a
thing hard to bear if we were able to pray only when off in some
corner. I do realize that prayer in the midst of occupations can-
not last many hours; but, O my Lord, what power over You a
sigh of sorrow has that comes from the depths of our heart on
seeing that it isn't enough that we are in this exile but that we
are not even given the chance to be alone enjoying You.
17. Here we see clearly that we are His slaves, our wills being
sold, out of love for Him, through the virtue of obedience, since
through obedience we in some way give up enjoying God Him-
self. And yet, this is nothing if we consider that He came from
the bosom of His Father out of obedience to become our slave.
Well, how can one repay this favor or what service render for it?
It's necessary to be on one's guard and careful in the perfor-
mance of good works by having frequent interior recourse to
God, even though these works are done in obedience and charity.
And let souls believe me that it is not the length of time spent in
prayer that benefits one; when the time is spent as well in good
works, it is a great help in preparing the soul for the enkindling
of love. The soul may thereby be better prepared in a very short
time than through many hours of reflection. All must come
from His hand. May He be blessed forever.
124
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 6
Warns about the harm that can be done to spiritual people if
they do not understand when the spirit must be resisted. Treats
of the souls desires to receive Communion and of the delusion
that can be present in such desires. There are important things
here for those who govern these houses. 1
I have diligently tried to understand the origin of a great
absorption I have seen in some persons whom the Lord fa-
vors much in prayer and who do their best to prepare themselves
to receive these gifts. I am not dealing now with the soul's sus-
pension or rapture given by His Majesty, for I have written
much about this in other places.2 In a matter like rapture there
is nothing to speak of because if it is genuine we cannot do any-
thing ourselves to prevent it, however much we try. It must be
noted that in rapture the power that takes away our power to be
in control of ourselves lasts but a short while. But frequently it
happens that there begins a kind of prayer of quiet, something
that resembles spiritual sleep, that so absorbs the soul that if we
do not understand how one is to proceed therein much time
could be lost and our strength diminished through our own fault
and with little merit.
2 . I would like to know how to explain myself here ; it is so dif-
ficult that I don't know if I'll succeed. But I do know well that, if
they want to believe me, souls who may be proceeding under
this misconception will understand. I know some souls of great
virtue who remained for seven or eight hours in absorption;
everything seemed to them to be rapture. Any virtuous exercise
so laid hold of them that they soon abandoned themselves to the
absorption,3 thinking it was not good to resist the Lord. Little
by little such persons can die or become fools if they do not seek
a remedy. What I understand about this occurrence is that since
the Lord begins to give delight, and our nature is very fond of
delight, the soul becomes so occupied in the pleasure that it
does not want to stir or lose that experience for anything. In-
deed, the pleasure is greater than any of the world's pleasures.
And when the experience takes place in a weak nature, or comes
The Foundations — Chapter 6
125
from one's own natural inventiveness (or better, imagination),
nature will make souls know a thousand delightful lies. In this
absorption the imagination does not wander but in apprehend-
ing one thing concentrates on it without distraction. Many per-
sons when they begin to think about something, even though
the matter may not concern God, are left absorbed or looking at
it without adverting to what they are gazing on. They are like
people who are slow and who seem, through indolence, to forget
what they are about to say. This is what happens in these cases
in conformity with the person's nature, or bodily humors, or
weakness, or if the individual suffers melancholy; these people
end up believing a thousand pleasant lies.
3. A little further on I shall speak of melancholy,4 but even if
this humor is not present, that which I have mentioned5 hap-
pens. And it also happens to persons who are worn out through
penance. As I have said,6 when love begins to give pleasure to
the senses these persons allow themselves to be carried away by
it. In my opinion their love would be much better if they did not
allow themselves to remain in stupefaction, for in this condition
of prayer one can easily resist. For just as a person will faint from
weakness and be unable to speak or stir, so this is what happens
here; for the strength of the spirit lays hold of nature, when this
latter is weak, and subjects it.
4. You could ask me what difference there is between this ab-
sorption and rapture since the two are the same, at least in ap-
pearance—and you would be right as regards appearance but
not as regards reality. For in rapture, or union of all the faculties,
as I say, the duration is short, and great effects, interior light,
and many other benefits are given, and the intellect doesn't work;
it is the Lord who works in the will. In the absorption, things are
very different, for although the body is captive, the will is not,
nor is the memory or the intellect. But these faculties carry on
their delirious activity, and if they rest in something they will
perhaps go back and forth over it with ifs and buts.
5. I find no benefit in this bodily weakness— for it is nothing
else — except that it arises from a good source. It would be a
greater help to use this time well than to remain in this absorp-
tion so long. Much more can be merited by making an act of love
126
St. Teresa of Avila
and by often awakening the will to greater love of God than by
leaving it listless. So I counsel the prioresses to make every pos-
sible effort to prevent the nuns from spending long periods in
this daze. For to remain in such an absorption is nothing else, in
my opinion, than to allow the faculties and senses to become crip-
pled and not carry out what the soul commands them. Thus they
deprive the soul of the gain that they usually get for it by proceed-
ing carefully. If the absorption is understood to be caused by
weakness, take away the fasts and disciplines (I mean those that
are not obligatory, and in time it could happen that all of them
in good conscience may be taken away), and give these persons
duties that will distract them.
6. And even if one does not experience these swoons, this
course of action is necessary if the imagination is greatly occu-
pied, even if with very sublime things of prayer. For it happens
sometimes that these persons are not in control of themselves. If
they have received some extraordinary favor from the Lord or
seen some vision, then, especially, will their souls be left in such
a condition that they will think they are continuing to see the vi-
sion; but this is not so, for the vision was seen no more than
once. Whoever finds herself in this absorption for many days
should strive to change the subject she is meditating on, for if a
subject pertains to the things of God there is no difficulty in
dwelling on one more than another since the faculties will be oc-
cupied in God. And sometimes one rejoices as much in consider-
ing God's creatures and the power He had in creating them as in
thinking of the Creator Himself.
7. O hapless human misery that was left in this condition
through sin, for even in good things we need rule and measure
so as not to ruin our health and become incapable of enjoying
them. And indeed what was said is fitting for many persons, es-
pecially those with weak heads or imaginations. If one follows
this advice one serves our Lord more, and it is very necessary
that what I said be understood. If a nun sees that one of the mys-
teries of the Passion or of the glory of heaven or of any other sim-
ilar thing comes into her imagination and remains many days
and that, although she wants to, she cannot think of something
else or take away this absorption, let her understand that it is fit-
The Foundations — Chapter 6
127
ting for her to distract herself insofar as she can. Otherwise, she
will in time come to know the harm that will be done and that
this absorption stems from what I mentioned: either from great
bodily weakness or from the imagination, which is worse. A
madman, when he goes into some frenzy, is not the master of
himself, cannot divert his attention, or think of anything else,
nor are there reasons that can move him to do this because he is
not in control of his reasoning power. The same thing could
happen here; even though the absorption is a delightful mad-
ness — or if she has the humor of melancholy — it can do her very
great harm. I don't see how it could be good, for the soul is ca-
pable of enjoying God Himself. Well, even if the subject matter
is not one of the mysteries that I mentioned,7 since God is infi-
nite, why must the soul be held captive by just one of His myster-
ies or grandeurs, for there is so much in which we can be occu-
pied? And the more of His mysteries we might want to consider
the more His grandeurs will be revealed.
8. I do not mean that in the course of an hour or a day they
should think on many things, for this would perhaps amount to
enjoying none of them properly. Since these matters are so deli-
cate, I would not want others to think I'm saying what it doesn't
enter my mind to say, or to understand one thing for another.
Certainly, it is so important to understand this chapter well that
even though writing about such a matter may be a tiresome
thing to do, it doesn't tire me. Nor would I want whoever does
not at first understand this to grow tired in reading it many
times, especially the prioresses and the mistresses of novices who
must guide the Sisters in prayer. For the Sisters will see that if
they do not walk carefully in the beginning, much time will be
required afterward to remedy similar weaknesses.
9. If I were to write all that has come to my attention con-
cerning this harm, they would see that I am right to insist so
much on the matter. I want to mention only one instance, and
from this one they will be able to deduce everything else. There
are in one of these monasteries two Sisters, one a choir nun and
the other a lay Sister,8 both of whom are most prayerful, mor-
tified, humble and virtuous, much favored by the Lord, to
whom He communicates His great marvels. They are especially
128
St. Teresa of Avila
so detached and taken up with His love that it doesn't seem,
however much we desire to catch up with them, that they fail to
respond, in conformity with our lowliness, to the favors our
Lord grants them. I have dwelt so much on their virtues in order
that those who do not have so much virtue will fear more. When
they began to experience some great impulses of desire for the
Lord that they could not resist, it seemed to them the desire was
mitigated when they received Communion. As a result, they ob-
tained from their confessors permission to receive frequently.
Their affliction increased so much that if they did not receive
Communion each day, it seemed to them they would die. The
confessors, since they saw souls like these with such great desires,
thought daily Communion was a suitable remedy for the com-
plaint; and the one confessor was a very spiritual man.
10. The matter didn't stop here. In the case of one of the
nuns, her longings were so great that she found it necessary to
receive Communion early in the morning so as to be able to live;
that was her opinion, for the two were not souls that would feign
anything, nor for anything in the world would they tell a lie. I
was not there, but the prioress9 wrote to me of what was going
on, saying that she could not get anywhere with them and that
competent persons held that since nothing else could be done
this remedy should be used. I at once, by the grace of God, un-
derstood the situation. Nonetheless, I remained silent until I
could be present there, for I feared lest I be mistaken; and it
would not have been right to contradict the one who approved,
until giving him my reasons.
1 1 . He was so humble that as soon as I went there and spoke
to him he agreed with me. The other one was not so spiritual,
hardly at all in comparison. There was no argument that could
persuade him. But I cared little about persuading this one be-
cause I was not so obliged to him. I began to speak to the nuns
and give many reasons in my opinion sufficient to make them
understand that it was their imagination that made them think
they would die without this remedy. They had their minds so
fixed on receiving Communion as a remedy that nothing suf-
ficed, nor was it enough to bring forth reasons. Now I saw that
they were to be excused, and I told them that I too had such
The Foundations— Chapter 6
129
desires and would give up receiving Communion so that they
could believe that they wouldn't have to receive except when
everyone did. I told them we would all three die, for I thought
doing so would be better than to start a custom like this in these
houses where there were others who loved God as much as they
and would want to do likewise.
12. The harm the custom had caused was so extreme— and
the devil must have meddled— that since they did not receive
Communion, they truly thought they would die. I showed great
severity, because the more I saw that they were not submitting
themselves to obedience (because in their opinion they could
not do so) the more clearly I saw that the desire was a tempta-
tion. They passed through that day with a good deal of diffi-
culty; and another day, with a little less. And so the impulsion
continued to diminish in such a way that even if I received Com-
munion, because I was ordered to do so (for the confessor saw
them so weak that he didn't give them the same order), they
bore this very well.
13. Within a short time both they and everyone else recog-
nized that this had been a temptation. And they realized how
good it had been to remedy the situation in time, for a little later
more things happened in that house that were disturbing to the
superiors (not through the fault of these two nuns— perhaps
later I may say something about it); and these superiors would
not, in addition, have taken well to a custom like that, nor
would they have tolerated it.
14. Oh, how many things of this sort I could mention. I'll
mention only one other. It didn't happen in a monastery of ours
but in a monastery of Bernardines. There was a nun there who
was no less virtuous than those mentioned. Through disciplines
and fasts she became so weak that each time she received Com-
munion or had occasion to be enkindled in devotion she would
immediately fall to the floor and there remain for eight or nine
hours. It seemed to her and everyone else that she was experi-
encing a rapture. This happened so often that if a remedy had
not been provided, much harm would have resulted. The report
of the raptures spread through the whole locality. It saddened
130
St. Teresa of Avila
me to hear about her experience because, thanks be to the
Lord, I understood its nature, and I feared about where it
would end up. Her confessor was a close friend of mine, and he
came to tell me about it. I told him what I understood and why
the absorption was a waste of time and couldn't possibly be a
rapture, but the result of weakness. I told him to take away her
fasts and disciplines and to distract her. She was obedient; she
did as he said. As soon as she began to gain strength there was no
more thought of rapture. And if indeed the experience had
been one of rapture nothing would have sufficed to prevent it
except the will of God, for the force of the spirit is so great that
our efforts are not sufficient to resist. And, as I said, 10 a rapture
leaves great effects in the soul; this other leaves no more effects
than if it had not occurred, but tiredness in the body.
15. Let it, therefore, be understood from this example that
anything that so controls us that we know our reason is not free
should be held as suspect. Know that liberty of spirit will never
be gained in this way. For one of the traits reason has is that it
can find God in all things and be able to think about them. All
the rest is subjection of spirit and, apart from the harm done to
the body, so binds the soul as to hinder growth. The soul here re-
sembles someone on a journey who enters a quagmire or swamp
and thus cannot move onward. And, in order to advance, a soul
must not only walk but fly. This immobility happens frequently
when, as they say (and it seems to them), they are immersed in
the divinity and cannot help themselves or find a remedy by di-
verting their attention because they are suspended.
16. Let them note that I again advise that in an instance of
one day or four or eight there is nothing to fear, for it is not
unusual for someone naturally weak to remain stunned for a
number of days. If the matter goes beyond this, a remedy is nec-
essary. The good in all this is that there is no sinful fault, nor will
these souls fail to gain merit. But there are the difficulties I
mentioned and many more. In the matter concerning Commu-
nion, it will be a very great difficulty, because of the soul's love,
if there is no submission in these things to the confessor and the
prioress. Even though the soul feels drawn to solitude, it
shouldn't go to the extreme of not consulting with them. It's
The Foundations — Chapter 6
131
necessary in this just as in other things that souls mortify them-
selves and be brought to understand that refraining from doing
one's own will is more fitting than the experience of consolation.
1 7 . Our self-love, too, can get mixed in with these experiences.
It has happened to me sometimes that when I saw others re-
ceiving Communion just after I had received myself (to the
point that the sacred species must have been still intact), I
would desire not to have received so as to receive again. Since
this happened to me so many times, I came afterward to notice
(for at the time it didn't seem to me there was anything to give
careful attention to) how the desire came more from wanting
my own satisfaction than from love of God. Since in receiving
Communion we, for the most part, experience tenderness and
delight, that desire to receive again was taking hold of me. If its
purpose was to have God within my soul, I already had Him; if it
was to fulfill the obligation of going to Holy Communion, I had
already done so; if to receive the favors that are bestowed with
the Blessed Sacrament, I had already received them. Finally, I
came to understand clearly that there was no other purpose in
the desire than to experience again that sensible delight.
18. I remember that in a place where we had one of our mon-
asteries I knew a woman who was a very great servant of God in
the opinion of the whole town, and she must have been. She re-
ceived Communion daily and did not have a particular confes-
sor; but on one day she would go to one church to receive Com-
munion, and on another day to another. I noted this and wished
more that she obey someone than receive Communion so often.
She was in a house by herself and, in my opinion, doing whatever
she wanted. But since she was good, all that she did was con-
sidered good. I told her of this at times, but she didn't pay any at-
tention to me, and with reason, for she was much better than I.
But in this matter I didn't think I was mistaken. The holy Fray
Peter of Alcantara came to that place, and I arranged that he
talk to her. I did not rest satisfied with the account she gave him.
But perhaps she had nothing more to tell, for we are so miserable
that we are never much satisfied except with those who follow our
own way; for I believe that she had served the Lord more and
done more penance in one year than I had in many.
132
St. Teresa of Avila
19. But to come to the point, she fell sick with a fatal illness
and diligently arranged that Mass be said in her house each day
and that she receive the Blessed Sacrament. Since the sickness
continued, a priest, a good servant of God, who often said the
Mass for her, didn't think it was proper that she receive Com-
munion daily in her house. The devil must have tempted her,
because that day happened to be her last, the day on which she
died. Since she saw the Mass ending and that she was deprived
of the Lord, she became so greatly vexed and angry with the
priest that he came to me, much scandalized, to tell me about
it. I felt very sorry, for I still don't know if she was reconciled; it
seems to me she died soon afterward.
20. Hence I came to understand the harm done by following
our own will in no matter what; and especially in so important a
matter. For it is right that those who approach the Lord with
such frequency should so understand their own unworthiness as
to refuse to follow their own opinion, but supply, by obedience
to a command, that which is lacking in order to approach so
great a Lord — and what is lacking must be great. This good soul
had the opportunity to humble herself very much, and perhaps
she would have thereby merited more than by receiving Com-
munion. It should be understood that the priest was not at
fault, but that the Lord, seeing her misery and how unworthy
she was, had thus ordained in order to enter so wretched a lodg-
ing. This is what a certain person did whom discreet confessors
often refused to allow to receive Communion, 11 for she went fre-
quently. This person, though she felt the loss very deeply, de-
sired, on the other hand, the honor of God more than her own
and did nothing but praise Him because He had awakened the
confessor to look after her and not let His Majesty enter so
wretched a lodging. And with these reflections she obeyed, with
deep calm in her soul, although with a tender and loving pain.
But not for the whole world together would she have gone
against what was commanded her.
21. Believe me, it is clear that a love of God (I do not mean
that it is really love but that in our opinion it is) that so stirs the
passions that one ends up offending the Lord, or so alters the
peace of the enamoured soul that no attention is paid to reason,
The Foundations — Chapter 6
133
is in fact self-seeking. And the devil will be on the alert to afflict
us when he thinks he can do us more harm, as he did to this
woman. For certainly it frightened me very much, although not
because I believed it would play a part in hindering her salva-
tion, for the goodness of God is great, but because the tempta-
tion came at the worst time.
22. I have mentioned the matter here so that the prioresses
might be warned and the Sisters might fear, reflect, and exam-
ine themselves on the manner in which they approach to receive
so great a favor. If they approach in order to please God, they
already know that He is pleased more by obedience than by
sacrifice. 12 Well, if this is true and if I merit more, why am I dis-
turbed? I do not say they are left without a humble distress, for
not all souls have reached such perfection that they will be freed
from suffering distress merely by the fact that they know they
are doing what is more pleasing to God. Clearly, if the will is
very detached from all self-interest, it will not feel anything.
Rather it will rejoice that it is offered an occasion to please the
Lord in something so costly, and it will humble itself and be just
as satisfied by making a spiritual communion.
23. In the beginning of the spiritual life these great desires to
approach the Lord are favors granted by God. This is true also
at the end, but I say the beginning because at that time they
should be more appreciated. Since in other things pertaining to
perfection that I mentioned13 these beginners are not so ad-
vanced, it may be readily granted them that they experience
tenderness and feel pain when Communion is taken from them,
provided the pain is borne with peace of soul and they draw forth
acts of humility as a result. But when these souls experience
some disturbance or passion and become angry with the prioress
or confessor, they should believe that their desire to receive is an
obvious temptation. This also holds true if someone decides to
receive Communion even though the confessor says not to re-
ceive. I would not want the merit that is thereby derived, for in
such matters we must not be the judges of our own case. He who
has the keys to bind and loose must be the one to judge. 14 That
we might have understanding in things so important, may it
please the Lord to give us light; and may His help not fail lest we
cause Him displeasure through the favors He grants us.
134
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 7
How one must deal with the nuns who have melancholy. 1 This
chapter is necessary for prioresses.
These Sisters of mine at St.Joseph's in Salamanca, where I
am staying while writing this, have repeatedly asked me
to say something about how one must deal with the nuns who
have that bodily humor called melancholy. For however much
we strive not to accept those who have it, it is subtle and feigns
death when it needs to, and thus we do not recognize it until the
matter cannot be remedied. It seems to me that in a little book I
said something about this;2 I don't remember. Little is lost in
saying something here, if the Lord be pleased that I succeed in
doing so. It could be that I said something about this already, at
another time; I would mention it another hundred times if I
thought I could say something pertinent about the matter. So
many are the contrivances that this humor seeks in order to do
its own will that there is a need to search them out in order to
know how to bear with those who have it and govern them so
that no harm is done to the other nuns.
2. It must be pointed out that not all those who have this
humor are so troublesome, for those who are humble and good-
natured, even though they are disturbed within themselves, do
not hurt others, especially if they possess sound intelligence.
And also there are greater and lesser degrees of this humor. Cer-
tainly, I believe the devil takes melancholy as a means for trying
to win over some persons. And if they do not walk with great
care, he will do so. For since this humor can subdue reason,
what won't our passions do once reason is darkened? It seems
that if reason is wanting, madness results, and so it does. But in
those of whom we are now speaking, the melancholy doesn't
reach the point of madness, which would be much less harmful.
But to have to consider someone a rational person and deal with
her as such even though she isn't is an unbearable burden.
Those who are totally afflicted with this illness are to be pitied,
but they do no harm, and if there is a means for bringing them
under control, it is to put fear into them.
The Foundations — Chapter 7
135
3. With those in whom this very harmful affliction has just
begun, even though it is not so strong, the same remedy is neces-
sary if other attemps prove insufficient. The affliction, in sum,
springs from that humor or root and stems from that stock. And
it is necessary that the prioress make use of the penances of the
order and strive to bring these persons into submission in such a
way as to make them understand they will obtain neither all nor
part of what they want. For if they come to think that sometimes
their cries, and the furies the devil speaks through them in order
to bring them to ruin if he can, are sufficient for them to get
what they want, they will be lost. And one such person is enough
to disrupt the quiet of a monastery. Since the poor little thing
has no one to help her defend herself from the things the devil
puts before her, it is necessary for the prioress to proceed with
the greatest care in governing her not only in exterior but also in
interior matters. For since reason is obscured in the sick person,
it must be clear in the prioress so that the devil doesn't begin to
bring that soul under his control, taking that affliction as a
means. Only at intervals does this humor afflict so much as to
subdue reason. And then the person is not at fault, just as insane
people are not at fault for the foolish things they do. But those
who are not insane, whose reason is weak and at other times
well, still have some fault. Thus it is a dangerous thing if during
the times in which they are ill they begin to take liberties, which
is a terrible artifice of the devil. It's necessary that they do not do
so; otherwise, they will not be masters of themselves when they
are well. If we consider the matter, that which interests these
melancholic persons most is getting their own way, saying every-
thing that comes to their lips, looking at the faults of others with
which they hide their own, and finding rest in what gives them
pleasure; in sum, they are like a person who cannot bear anyone
who resists him. Well, if the passions go unmortified, and each
passion seeks to get what it wants, what would happen if no one
resisted them?
4. I repeat, as one who has seen and dealt with many persons
having this affliction, that there is no other remedy for it than to
make these persons submit in all the ways and means possible. If
words do not suffice, use punishment; if light punishment is
136
St. Teresa of Avila
not enough, try heavy; if one month in the prison cell is not
enough, try four months; no greater good can be done for their
souls. For as I have said3and I repeat (and it is important for the
afflicted themselves to understand this, even though at times
they may be unable to help themselves), since the affliction is
not confirmed madness of the kind that excuses one from any
fault— although sometimes it may be, but it is not always so—
the soul remains in much danger. But sometimes, as I say,
reason is so overpowered that those afflicted will be forced to do
or say what they did and said when they had no control. It is a
great mercy from God toward those suffering this affliction that
they may submit to someone who will govern them through this
danger that I mentioned,4 for herein lies all their good. And, for
the love of God, if anyone read this let her reflect that perhaps it
is a matter of her own salvation.
5. I know some persons who are on the borderline of losing
their minds completely. But they are humble and so fearful of
offending God that even though they may be dissolving in tears
and grieving within themselves, they don't do anything but
what they are ordered to do. And they suffer their illness as
others do theirs; although this one is a greater martyrdom. Thus
they will have greater glory and have their purgatory here in this
life instead of the next. But I repeat that those who do not sub-
mit willingly should be urged to do so by the prioress. And let
them not be deceived with indiscreet pieties lest they end up dis-
turbing all with their confusion.
6 . There is another very great harm , leaving aside the danger
that was mentioned:5 Since the afflicted nun appears to be good
and the force the illness exercises interiorly is not understood,
our nature is so miserable that each one will think that she her-
self is melancholic and that thus others must bear with her.
And, in point of fact, the devil will cause the matter to be thus
understood, and he will bring about such havoc that when one
comes to recognize the fact there will be difficulty in providing a
remedy. This matter is so important that no negligence whatso-
ever should be allowed. But if the melancholic nun should resist
the prelate, who is the superior, she should pay for it in the same
way as the healthy nun and should not be pardoned for any-
The Foundations — Chapter 7
137
thing. If she should utter an insulting word to her Sister, the
same holds true. So likewise in all similar things.
7. It seems to be unjust to punish a sick person, who can't
help it, just as one would a healthy person. Therefore, it would
also be unjust to bind and whip the insane, and the just thing
would be to allow them to kill everyone. Believe me, I have tried
and, in my opinion, attempted many remedies, and I find no
other. It absolutely must not be tolerated that the prioress out of
pity allow such nuns to begin taking liberties, for when she gets
down to remedying the situation much harm will have already
been done to others. If the insane are bound and chastised so
that they will not kill others, and this is right and even seems to
be a very compassionate thing to do since they cannot control
themselves, how much more must one be careful not to allow
these melancholic persons liberties by which they could harm
souls. And I truly believe that this affliction is often, as I have
said,6 found in those whose dispositions are unrestrained, lack-
ing in humility, and poorly disciplined; and the humor doesn't
have as much strength as in the insane. I mean that "in some"
the humor doesn't have as much strength, for I have seen that
when there is someone to fear they do control themselves and
they can. Well, why can't they do so for God? I fear that the
devil, under the guise of this humor, as I have said,7 wants to
gain many souls.
8. Nowadays the term is used more than usual, and it hap-
pens that all self-will and freedom go by the name melancholy.
Thus I have thought that in these houses and in all Religious
houses, this term should not be uttered. For the term seems to
bring along with it freedom from any control. Rather, the con-
dition should be called a serious illness — and how truly it is
one— and be cared for as such. For sometimes it is very neces-
sary to reduce the humor by means of medicine in order that it
be endured; and the nun must remain in the infirmary and un-
derstand that when she comes out and returns to the commu-
nity she must be humble like all and obey as do all. And she
must understand that when she does not do so she may not use
the humor as her defense. For the reasons that I have mentioned,
and more could be said, this procedure is fitting. The prioress
138
St. Teresa of Avila
must, without letting these nuns realize it, lead them with much
compassion, like a true mother, and seek whatever means she
can to provide a remedy.
9. It seems that I am contradicting myself because up to
now I said that these nuns must be dealt with strictly. So I repeat
that they must not think they can come out and do what they
want, nor should they be allowed out except under the condi-
tion that they must obey. For the harm lies in their thinking that
they will be free to do whatever they want. But the prioress can
refrain from ordering them to do what she sees they will be un-
able to do because of their not having the strength within them-
selves. She should lead them with all the skill and love necessary
so that if possible they submit out of love, which would be much
better, and usually happens. She should show that she greatly
loves them and make this known through words and deeds. And
she must note that the greatest remedy she has is to keep them
much occupied with duties so that they do not have the oppor-
tunity to be imagining things, for herein lies all their trouble.
And even though they may not perform these duties so well, she
should suffer some defects so as not to have to suffer other greater
ones that will arise if the melancholy overpowers them. I know
that this is the most suitable remedy you can provide. And strive
that they do not have long periods of prayer, not even those es-
tablished in the constitutions, because, for the greater part,
their imaginations are weak and the long prayer will do them
much harm. Otherwise, they will fancy things that neither they
nor anyone who hears them will ever understand. Let her take
care that they eat fish only rarely;8 and also during the fasts,
they ought not fast as much as do the others.
10. It seems excessive to give so much advice for this afflic-
tion and not for any other, there being so many serious ones in
our miserable life, especially when considering the weakness of
women. It is for two reasons that I do so: First, it seems these
nuns are well, for they don't want to know that they have this af-
fliction. Since it doesn't force them to stay in bed, because they
do not have a fever, or to call the doctor, it's necessary for the
prioress to be their doctor; for it is a sickness more prejudicial to
all perfection than that of those who are in bed and in danger of
The Foundations — Chapter 8
139
death. Second, in the case of other illnesses it happens that
either one is cured or one dies; with this illness, very seldom are
the afflicted cured, nor do they die from it but they come to lose
their minds completely— which is a death capable of killing all
the nuns. They suffer more than death in themselves through
afflictions, fantasies, and scruples, all of which they call temp-
tations, and so they will have a great deal of merit. If they could
come to understand that the illness is the cause of these, they
would find much relief provided they paid no attention to them.
Indeed, I have great compassion for them, and it is also right
that all those living with them have it. These latter should re-
flect that the Lord can give this compassion, and they should
bear up with them, without letting this be known as I have said.9
Please the Lord I may have succeeded in pointing out the proper
thing to do in regard to so serious an illness.
Chapter 8
Some counsels concerning revelations and visions.
Some persons seem to become frightened just in hearing the
words "visions" and "revelations." I don't understand why
they consider this path along which God leads a soul such a dan-
gerous one, or from where this dread comes. I do not want to
treat now of which ones are good and which bad, or with the
signs for discernment that I have heard from very learned per-
sons; but of what ought to be done by someone who sees herself
in this situation, for few are the confessors who will not intimi-
date her. Indeed, it doesn't cause as much fear or scandal to say
that the devil is representing many kinds of temptation, the spirit
of blasphemy, and absurd and indecent things as it does to say
that an angel appeared or spoke or that our Lord Jesus Christ
crucified was seen.
2 . Nor do I want to treat at present of the revelations that are
from God (for by now the fact that these bring great blessings to
the soul goes without saying), but of the representations made
by the devil in order to deceive and of how he makes use of the
140
St, Teresa of A vila
image of Christ our Lord, or of his saints. I hold that His Majesty
will not give the devil the power to deceive a person by means of
similar figures unless through that person's own fault, but that
the devil himself will be the one deceived. (I mean, he will not
deceive where there is humility).1 Thus, there is no reason to be
terrified but to trust in the Lord and pay little attention to these
things except for the sake of praising the Lord more.
3. I know a person whose confessors caused her much distress
over similar things; but afterward, from what she could under-
stand through the great effects and good works that resulted,
she judged that her experiences were from God. And she was
very distressed that because of the command they gave her she
had to bless herself and make the fig when she saw a vision.2
Later, in talking with a highly learned Dominican,3 she was told
by him that this was wrong, that no one should do so, for wher-
ever we see the image of our Lord, it is good to pay it reverence,
even if the devil may have painted it. The devil is a great
painter, and in wanting to do us an evil deed, he rather does us a
good one if he paints a crucifix or other image so lifelike that he
leaves it engraven in our heart. This reasoning pleased me
much, for when we see a very good painting, even though we
might know that a bad man did it, we wouldn't fail to esteem
the image that was painted nor would we pay attention to the
painter and lose our devotion. For the good or the evil does not
lie in the vision but in the one who sees it and in whether or not
she profits by it with humility; for if humility is present, no harm
can be done not even by the devil. And if humility is not present,
even if the visions be from God they will be of no benefit. For if
that favor which should humble a nun when she sees she is un-
worthy of it makes her proud, she will be like the spider that
converts everything it eats into poison; or like the bee that con-
verts it all into honey.
4. I want to explain myself further: Our Lord, through His
goodness, may wish to represent Himself to a soul so that it
might know or love Him more, or that He might show it one of
His secrets, or grant it some particular gifts or favors. And if the
soul, as I have said,4 considers itself a saint because of a favor
(for it should be confounded and know how little its lowliness
The Foundations — Chapter 8
141
deserves any favor) and thinks that this favor comes to it because
of some service it has rendered, clearly the great good that could
result is converted into evil, as in the example of the spider.
Well now, let us suppose that the devil so as to incite pride
causes these apparitions. The soul may think they are from
God, humble itself, recognize its unworthiness to receive so
great a favor, and strive to serve more. For in seeing itself rich,
while not even deserving to eat the crumbs that fall from the
table5 of the persons of whom it has heard that God grants these
favors (I mean, not deserving to be a servant of any of them), it
humbles itself, begins to force itself to do penance, prays more,
and takes greater care not to offend this Lord. For it thinks it is
He who grants this favor, and obeys with greater perfection. If it
responds in these ways, I am sure the devil will not return, but
will be put to shame, and that no harm will be left in the soul.
5. When she is told some things to do, or about the future,
the nun should speak about the matter with a discreet and
learned confessor, and not do or believe anything other than
what he tells her. She can communicate about it with the prior-
ess so that the latter might provide her with such a confessor.
And let her be careful, for if she doesn't obey what the confessor
tells her and fails to be guided by him, the experience comes
from either the bad spirit or dreadful melancholy. Even if the
confessor may not be right, she will be more right in not depart-
ing from what he tells her, even though it may be an angel of
God who speaks to her in the favor. For His Majesty will en-
lighten the confessor or ordain how the task may be carried out.
In following the above advice, there is no danger; in doing other-
wise, there can be many dangers and much harm.
6 . Let us keep in mind that human nature is very weak, espe-
cially in women, and in this way of prayer weakness shows itself
more. Thus it is necessary that we don't immediately think that
every little thing that comes to our fancy is a vision, and we
should believe that when a vision does occur, this will be clearly
known. Where some melancholy is present, there is need for
much greater care. For in regard to these fancies, things have
been told to me that have left me amazed at how it is possible for
such persons truly to think that they see what they do not see.
142
St. Teresa of Avila
7. Once a confessor, who was much admired, came to see
me, for he was confessor to a person who told him that for many
days our Lady appeared to her, sat on her bed, and spoke for
over an hour telling her about future events and a great deal
more. Among many absurdities there were some predictions
that turned out to be right, and as a result the apparitions were
thought to be true. I understood immediately the nature of the
experience, although I did not dare say so. For we are in a world
in which it is necessary to consider the opinions others have of us
in order that our words take effect. So I told him to wait to see if
the prophecies would prove true and to look for other effects
and inquire into the life of that person. In the end he came to
understand that the whole thing was nonsense.
8. I could tell of so many things like this that would more
than justify my advice, that is: that a soul should not believe
things at once, but that it wait for time to pass and understand
itself well before telling the confessor so that it doesn't deceive
him without wanting to deceive him. For if he doesn't have ex-
perience of these things, his learning however great will not suf-
fice for him to understand them. Not so long ago (in fact, very
recently) there was a man who spoke much nonsense about
things like these to some very learned and spiritual men. When
he spoke with a person who had experienced such favors from
the Lord, she saw clearly that he was suffering from madness to-
gether with illusion. Although the illusion wasn't then manifest
but very dissimulated, the Lord after a while revealed it clearly;
but this person who understood what the cause was had first to
suffer much in not being believed.6
9. For these reasons and other similar ones it's very necessary
for each Sister to speak clearly about her prayer to the prioress.
The prioress should carefully consider the temperament and
perfection in virtue of that Sister so that she might advise the
confessor and provide for better understanding. She should
choose a confessor for this particular purpose if the ordinary
confessor is not sufficient for such matters. Let the Sisters be
very careful that things like these, even though very truly from
God, or favors recognized as miraculous, be not communicated
to outsiders or to confessors who don't have the prudence to be
The Foundations — Chapter 9
143
silent. This is most important, more so than they may think,
and it's important that the Sisters not discuss these things
among themselves. And the prioress, with prudence, should al-
ways be seen as tending more to praise those who distinguish
themselves in matters pertaining to humility, mortification,
and obedience than those God leads by this very supernatural
path of prayer, even though the latter may have all these other
virtues. For if this path is from the spirit of the Lord, it brings
with it the humility to like being despised. And the praise of the
above virtues will not harm the person who is led by this path
and will benefit others. For since the others cannot attain to
these things, for God gives to whomever He wants, let them flee
sadness and seek to have the other virtues. Although God also
gives these other virtues, they can in addition be the objects of
our striving, and they are of great value for the Religious life.
May His Majesty give them to us since no one who strives for
them with effort, solicitude, prayer, and confidence in His
mercy will be denied by Him.
Chapter 9
Deals with how she left Medina del Campofor the foundation of
St. Joseph's in Malagon.
How far I've wandered from my subject! And yet, it
could be that some of these counsels that were mentioned
were more opportune than my telling about the foundations.
Well now, while at St. Joseph's in Medina del Campo I ob-
served with great consolation how those Sisters were following in
the footsteps of the Sisters of St. Joseph's in Avila through com-
plete religious dedication, sisterly love, and spirituality. I ob-
served, too, how our Lord provided for His house, for the needs
of the chapel as well as for those of the Sisters. Some of the new
ones entering the monastery it seemed the Lord had chosen as
the kind of cement that is suited to an edifice like this. In these
beginning stages, all the good, I think, will be for the sake of the
future. For since these Sisters find the path, those who are to
come will follow it.
144
St. Teresa of Avila
2 . There was a lady in Toledo, a sister of the duke of Medina-
celi, in whose home I had stayed by order of my superiors, as I
mentioned more at length in writing about the foundation of St.
Joseph's. 1 While I was in her home, she got to like me in a special
way, which in turn must have been a means by which this lady
was stirred to do what she did. For His Majesty often makes use
of means like these that seem fruitless to us who don't know the
future. Since this lady knew that I had permission to found
monasteries, she began to urge me very much to make a founda-
tion in her town of Malagon.2 1 in no way wanted to accept since
the town was so small that we would be forced to have an income
in order to support ourselves— something to which I was very
much opposed.
3. Both my confessor3 and other learned men with whom I
discussed the matter told me that I was doing wrong, that since
the holy Council had given permission to have an income, I
shouldn't, because of my own opinion, fail to found a monastery
where God could be so much served. To this were added the
many urgings of this lady which I could not resist. She provided
a sufficient income, for I am always in favor of monasteries be-
ing either completely poor or maintained in such a way that the
nuns will not need to beg from anyone for their needs.
4. I made every effort I could so that none of the nuns would
possess anything, but that they would observe the constitutions
in their entirety as in our other monasteries founded in poverty.
Having completed all the paper work, I sent for some Sisters to
make the foundation, and along with that lady we went to Mal-
agon. When we got there, the house was not yet ready for us to
move in. And so we were detained for more than eight days in
an apartment of this lady's castle.
5. On Palm Sunday,4 in the year 1568, with the people of the
town, we went in procession to the church, in our white mantles
and with veils covering our faces. A sermon was preached there,
and from that church the Blessed Sacrament was brought to our
monastery. This inspired great devotion in everybody. I stayed
there for some days. On one of those days, while in prayer after
having received Communion, I understood from our Lord that
He would be served in that house. I don't think I was there quite
The Foundations — Chapter 1 0
145
two months, for my spirit was eager to go and found a house in
Valladolid, and the reason was the one I will now mention.
Chapter 10
Deals with the foundation of the house in Valladolid. Its title is
The Conception of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
Four or five months before this monastery of St. Joseph's in
Malagon was founded, I was speaking with a distinguished
young gentleman1 who told me that if I wanted to establish a
monastery in Valladolid he would most willingly give me a
house he owned with a large and good garden containing a vine-
yard. He wanted to give away the property immediately; it was
very valuable. I accepted his offer, although I wasn't too de-
cided on making a foundation where the property was, since the
place was about a quarter of a league outside the city. But it
seemed to me that we could move to the city once the possession
of a house had been taken in that district. And since he offered
it so willingly, I did not want to refuse his good deed or hinder
his devotion.2
2. Two months later, more or less, he was struck by a sudden
illness that took away his speech, and he could not confess well,
although he made many signs to ask the Lord's pardon. He died
shortly afterward, very far from where I was. 3 The Lord told me
that the young man's salvation had been in great jeopardy but
that he had received mercy for the service he had rendered to
the Blessed Mother in giving that house to be a monastery of her
order; however, that he would not leave purgatory until the first
Mass was said there, that then he would leave. I was so conscious
of the grievous afflictions of this soul that even though I wanted
to make a foundation in Toledo, I set it aside for then and
hastened as much as I could to found a house in Valladolid.
3. It couldn't be made as quickly as I desired, for I was forced
to delay a number of days at St. Joseph's in Avila, which was
under my charge, and afterward at St. Joseph's in Medina del
Campo, for I passed by there. I was in prayer one day in Medina
146
St. Teresa of Avila
when the Lord told me to hurry because that soul was suffering
very much. Although I didn't have the means available, I set to
work and entered Valladolid on the feast of St. Lawrence.4 And
when I saw the house, I was dismayed; I knew that it would be a
foolish mistake for nuns to stay there. The cost to them would be
very great. For although the site was most gratifying on account
of the garden which was so delightful, the nuns would certainly
become sick, for it was near a river.
4. Though tired out, I had to go to Mass at a monastery of
our order. I saw that the monastery was at the entrance to the
city,5 and this was so far away that my distress was doubled.
Nonetheless, I said nothing to my companions6 so as not to dis-
courage them. Although weak, I had some faith that the Lord,
by whom I had been told what was just mentioned, would pro-
vide a remedy. I arranged very secretly for workmen to come
and begin building walls to provide for recollection, and other
necessary things. With us, were the priest I mentioned, Julian
de Avila,7 and one of the friars mentioned,8 who desired to be
discalced and who was learning about our method of procedure
in these houses. Julian de Avila was engaged in seeking to obtain
the license from the bishop, who, before I arrived, had given us
reason to hope that it would be granted. The license could not
be gotten so quickly as to prevent a Sunday from coming along
first. But permission was granted to say Mass where the church
would be, and thus it was said for us.
5. I had forgotten that what was told to me about that soul
would then be accomplished.9 For, although I was told "at the
first Mass," I thought that it would be at the one in which the
Blessed Sacrament would be reserved. When the priest10 came
with the Blessed Sacrament to the place where we were to re-
ceive Communion and I approached to receive it, the gentle-
man I mentioned appeared beside him, his face joyful and re-
splendent. With hands folded, he thanked me for what I had
done so that he could leave purgatory and go to heaven. And in-
deed before the first locution, when I heard that he was on the
way to salvation, I had not had such a thing in mind and was
consequently much afflicted. It seemed to me that another way
of dying would have been necessary in view of the way he had
The Foundations — Chapter 1 0
147
lived. For although he had performed many good deeds, he was
much involved in the things of the world. True, though, he had
told my companions that he kept death very much before him.
It is important to know that our Lord is pleased with any service
rendered to His Mother, and great is His mercy. May He be
blessed and praised for everything. For He repays our lowly
deeds with eternal life and glory, and He makes them great
while they are in fact of little value.
6. Well, when the feastday of our Lady's Assumption ar-
rived, which was August 15, 1568, we took possession of this
monastery. We were there only a short while11 because almost
all of us fell very sick. This was seen by a lady from that city,
Dona Maria de Mendoza, who is the wife of Commander Cobos12
and mother of the marquis of Camarasa. She is a very Christian
woman and most charitable. The superabundance of alms she
gave away made this clear. When she saw the situation, and
before I spoke to her about the matter, she showed me much
charity; for she is the sister of the bishop of Avila who was very
favorable toward us in the foundation of the first monastery and
is still so in all that pertains to our order. 13 Since she is very char-
itable and saw that we could not remain there without great
hardship and also that the site was far from where we could
receive alms, as well as unhealthy, she told us to give that house
to her and that she would buy us another. And this she did. The
one she gave us was worth much more, and in addition she has
given all that is necessary up till now, and she will do so as long
as she lives.
7. On the feast of St. Blaise14 we moved there in a large pro-
cession, and with great devotion shown on the part of the peo-
ple; and their devotedness continues even to this day, for the
Lord grants many favors in that house. And He has brought
souls whose sanctity in due time will be recounted so that He
may be praised. For it is by such means that the Lord desires to
magnify His works and favor His creatures. In fact, a very young
girl entered there and showed what the world is by despising it.
It has occurred to me to speak of her here so that those who have
great love for the world will be put to shame and that young girls
to whom the Lord may give good desires and inspirations will
take her example and carry them out.
148
St. Teresa of Avila
8. There is in this place a lady named Dona Maria de Acuna,
a sister of the count of Buendia. She was married to the gover-
nor of Castile. When he died, she was left, while still quite
young, with a son and two daughters. She began to live so holy a
life and rear her children in such virtue that she merited from
the Lord that He desire these children for Himself. (I was mis-
taken, for she was left with three daughters.) The one daughter
became a nun immediately. The other one did not want to
marry but lived a very edifying life with her mother.15 The son
at an early age began to understand what the world was and felt
so intensely God's call to enter religious life that no one was able
to prevent him from following it. His mother was so delighted
with his vocation that she helped him very much by her prayers
to our Lord, although for fear of his relatives she did not show
this openly. In sum, when the Lord wants a soul for Himself,
creatures have little strength to prevent this. So it happened in
this case, for after having been delayed for three years and
strongly urged to change his mind, he entered the Society of Je-
sus.16 A confessor of this lady17 told me that he had been in-
formed by her that she had never in her life experienced such
joy in her heart as on the day her son made his profession.
9. O Lord! What a great favor You grant to those children
whose parents love them so much as to want them to possess
their estates, inheritance, and riches in that blessed life that has
no end! It is a great pity the world is now so unfortunate and
blind that it seems to parents their honor lies in not letting the
dung of this world's goods be forgotten and in not remembering
that sooner or later these things will come to an end. And every-
thing that has limits, even though it lasts a while, will eventually
come to an end; and little importance should be given to it.
Such parents want to sustain their own vanities at a cost to their
children, and very boldly take from God souls that He wants for
Himself. And they take from these souls a good so great (God in-
viting them to be His guest) that, even were the good not to last
forever, it would still be extraordinary to see oneself freed from
the tiresomeness of the world and its laws; and the more goods
people possess, the greater the tedium. Open the eyes of par-
ents, my God. Make them understand the kind of love they are
The Foundations — Chapter 10
149
obliged to have for their children so that they do not do these
children so much wrong and are not complained about before
God in that final judgment where, even though they may not
want to know it, the value of each thing will be understood.
10. Well, this gentleman, who was the son of this Dona
Maria de Acuna (his name was Don Antonio de Padilla), at the
age of seventeen, more or less, was mercifully drawn by God
from the world. Hence, the estates went to the oldest daughter,
whose name was Dona Luisa de Padilla. For the count of Buen-
dia had no sons, and Don Antonio was heir to both the earldom
and the governorship of Castile. I will not mention the many
things Don Antonio suffered from his relatives before going on
with his plan, because this is not my purpose in writing. Who-
ever knows how much value those of the world place on their
having an heir to their properties will fully understand.
11. O Son of the Eternal Father, Jesus Christ, our Lord, true
King of all! What did You leave in the world? What could we,
your descendants, inherit from You? What did You possess, my
Lord, but trials, sufferings, and dishonors? You had nothing
but a wooden beam on which to swallow the painfully difficult
drink of death. In sum, my God, it does not fit those of us who
want to be your true children, and hold on to their inheritance,
to flee suffering. Your heraldry consists of five wounds. Cour-
age, then, my daughters; this must be our badge if we are to
inherit His kingdom. Not with rest, not with favors, not with
honors, not with riches will that which He bought with so much
blood be gained. O illustrious people! Open your eyes for the
love of God; behold that the true knights of Jesus Christ and the
princes of His Church, a St. Peter and a St. Paul, did not follow
the road you follow. Do you think perhaps there will be a new
road for you? Do not believe it. Behold the Lord is beginning to
show it to you through such young persons as those of whom we
are now speaking.
12. At times I have seen and spoken to this Don Antonio. He
would have wanted even many more possessions so as to leave
them all. Blessed the young man and blessed the young girl who
have merited so much from God that at the age in which people
are usually overpowered by the world, they trampled on it.
Blessed be He who bestowed on them so much good.
150
St. Teresa of Avila
13. Well since the estates were left to the older sister, it hap-
pened that she didn't attribute any more importance to them
than did her brother. For from the time she was a child she gave
herself so much to prayer (which is the place where the Lord
gives the light to understand truths) that she esteemed these
things as little as did her brother. Oh, God help me, how many
trials, torments, litigations, and even risking of lives and honor
many would undergo to be heir to this inheritance. She suffered
greatly in order to be allowed to renounce it. So goes this world;
it would clearly show us its frenzy if we were not blind. Very will-
ingly, so that they might leave her free from this inheritance,
she renounced it in favor of her sister —for there was no one else
—who was ten or eleven years old. Immediately, in order to per-
petuate their miserable family name, her relatives arranged to
have this young girl marry an uncle of hers, the brother of her
father, and obtained a dispensation from the Supreme Pontiff;
and the two were engaged.
14. The Lord did not desire that the daughter of such a
mother and the sister of both such a brother and such sisters be
left more deceived than they, and thus what I will now relate
happened. When the girl began to enjoy the worldly clothes and
finery that, in accord with her status, would attract the fancy of
a girl at that tender age (two months had not yet gone by from
the time of her engagement), the Lord began to give her light,
although she was not then aware of what He was doing. Once at
the close of a day she had spent most happily with her fiance,
whom she loved more intensely than her age warranted, she be-
came extremely sad at seeing how the day came to an end and
that likewise all days would come to an end. Oh, greatness of
Godl That very happiness that the joys of perishable things gave
her, she came to abhor! She began to experience such great sad-
ness that she couldn't hide it from her fiance, nor did she know
how to tell him, nor could she, even though he was questioning
her.
15. At that time she had to go on an unavoidable journey to a
place far from where she lived. She felt very sorry since she loved
him so much. But soon the Lord revealed to her the cause of her
affliction; it was, in fact, that her soul was inclined toward that
The Foundations— Chapter 1 1
151
which would have no end. She began to consider how her
brother and sister had chosen the safer path and left her amid
the world's dangers. This, on the one hand; on the other hand,
the fact that it seemed there was no remedy was exhausting her
(for she wasn't aware, until she asked, that even though she was
engaged it was still possible for her to become a nun). And
above all, the love she had for her fiance did not allow her to
come to a decision. So she was suffering much distress.
16. Since the Lord wanted her for Himself, He gradually
took away this love she had for her fiance and increased her
desire to give up everything. At this time she was moved only by
the desire to be saved and to seek the best means. For it seemed
to her that in the midst of the things of the world she would
forget to seek that which is eternal. This is the wisdom God in-
fused in her at so early an age; to seek how to gain that which is
without end. Fortunate soul that so early in life freed itself from
the blindness in which many old people diel Once she saw that
her will was free, she resolved to occupy it completely in God.
Until that time she had remained silent; now she began to speak
of the matter to her sister. Her sister, thinking it was a childish
trifle, tried to dissuade her and told her some things about how
she could be saved even though married. The young girl re-
sponded by asking her sister why she herself had given up mar-
riage. Some days passed, and her desire went on increasing. She
didn't say anything to her mother, but perhaps it was the
mother who through her prayers was causing this battle in her
daughter.
Chapter 11
Continues the subject that was begun about how Dona Casilda
de Padilla attained her holy desires of entering religious life.
At this time the habit was received by a lay Sister in this
monastery of the Immaculate Conception about whose
vocation I should perhaps say something. 1 Although she is from
a different background (a little peasant girl), she is so virtuous,
152
St. Teresa of Avila
because of the great favors God has granted her, that she de-
serves to be remembered here in praise of Him. And when Dona
Casilda (the name of this girl beloved of the Lord) went with her
grandmother,2 who was her fiance's mother, to this lay Sister's
reception of the habit, she felt intensely drawn to this monas-
tery, thinking that since it was small and the nuns were few they
could serve the Lord better. But she still had not reached the de-
cision to leave her fiance, which, as I said,3 was what most held
her back.
2 . She recalled how before she was engaged she used to spend
periods of time in prayer. Her mother in her goodness and holi-
ness had brought her children up this way, for once they reached
the age of seven she would make them enter an oratory from
time to time, and she taught them how to reflect on the Passion
of the Lord and made them go to confession frequently. And
thus she witnessed this happy outcome of her desires, that her
children belong only to God. She told me herself that she had
always offered them to God and begged Him to take them out of
the world, for she was already disillusioned and knew how little
it should be esteemed. I sometimes reflect on the accidental joy
that will be hers when she sees them rejoicing in eternal joys and
that she was the means, and on the gratitude they will have
toward her, and how on the contrary those parents who did not
bring their children up as children of God (for they are children
more of God than of their parents) will find themselves, to-
gether with their children, in hell, and the maledictions they
will spew forth and the despair they will experience.
3. Well, to return to what I was saying, since Dona Casilda
realized that she was now reluctant even to recite the rosary, she
had great fear that things would always get worse. It seemed to
her she saw clearly that by coming to this house her salvation
would be assured. And thus she reached an unwavering deci-
sion. One morning when she came here with her sister and
mother, the occasion arose for their entering inside the monas-
tery; indeed without any worry that the young girl would do
what she did. Once she saw herself inside, no one was able to get
her to leave the house. So many were the tears and words with
which she begged them to allow her to stay that all were fright-
The Foundations — Chapter 11
153
ened. Her mother, although interiorly rejoicing, feared the rel-
atives and did not want her to remain in this way lest they say
that the daughter had been persuaded by her mother. And the
prioress,4 too, felt like this, for it seemed to her that the girl was
but a child and that more testing was needed. This took place in
the morning. They had to stay until evening, and they sent for
the girl's confessor and for Father Maestro Fray Domingo (the
Dominican whom I mentioned in the beginning),5 who was my
confessor, although I was not here then.6 This Father under-
stood at once that it was the Spirit of the Lord. He helped her
very much, suffering a good deal from her relatives, promising
to help her so that she could return another day. (That is the
way all those who seek to serve God must act. They must strive
not to consider human prudence so much when they see a soul
called by God.)
4. After a great deal of persuasion, and so that blame would
not be placed on her mother, she came out this time. Her desires
continued to increase. Her mother began to inform her relatives
secretly so that the fiance would not learn of it. They said her
desire was a childish whim and that she should wait until she
was of age, for she wasn't yet twelve years old. She asked why,
since they found her old enough to be married and left to the
world, they didn't find her old enough to give herself to God.
The things she said made it appear that it wasn't she who was
speaking.
5. The matter couldn't be kept so secret that her fiance was
not informed. Since she knew about this, it seemed to her that
she couldn't bear waiting for him to give his consent to her en-
tering religious life. On the feast of the Immaculate Concep-
tion, when she was in the house of her grandmother (who was
also her mother-in-law to be), who didn't know anything about
her desires, she begged to be allowed to go to the country with
her governess to relax a while. Her grandmother, to please her,
allowed her to go, in a carriage along with her servants. Giving
one of the servants some money, the girl asked him to wait for
her at the entrance of this monastery with some bundles of twigs
or vine branches. She arranged to go in a roundabout way so
that they would pass by this house. When she arrived at the en-
154
St. Teresa of Avila
trance, she told the servants to ask at the turn for a jug of water
and not to tell who it was for, and she quickly got down from the
carriage. The servants told her not to get down, that they would
bring the water to her, but she refused. The bundles were al-
ready there. She told them to tell the nuns to come to the door to
get those bundles, and she stood waiting there. When the nuns
opened, she entered inside and went and embraced the statue of
our Lady, weeping and begging the prioress not to throw her
out. The shouts of the servants were loud as was also their pound-
ing on the door. She went to speak to them at the grille and told
them that she would by no means come out and that they should
go and tell her mother. The women that had gone with her
broke into loud laments. She made little of it all. Her grand-
mother, when told the news, decided to go at once.
6. In sum, neither the girl's grandmother, nor her uncle, nor
her fiance (who came to the grille and tried to get her to change
her mind) could do any more than torment her when with her,
and afterward she would be stronger in her resolve. Her fiance,
after much moaning, told her that she could serve God more by
giving alms. She answered that he could give them. And, in re-
sponse to his other arguments, she told him that she was more
obliged to seek her salvation and that she saw she was weak and
that she could not be saved amid worldly occasions of sin, and
that he should not complain about her because she hadn't left
him except for God, and that because of this she was not offend-
ing him. Once she saw that nothing satisfied him, she got up
and left him.
7. He made no impression on her; rather, she felt totally dis-
pleased with him. When God enlightens the soul with truth,
temptations and stumbling blocks set by the devil help it more.
For it is His Majesty who fights for the soul, and thus she saw
clearly here that it was not she who was speaking.
8. Since her fiance and relatives saw how little they accom-
plished in trying to get her to leave willingly, they turned to
force. Thus, they obtained a court order to take her out of the
monastery and that the nuns allow her to leave. During the
whole time, from the feast of the Immaculate Conception to
that of the Holy Innocents7 (when they took her away), she re-
The Foundations — Chapter 1 1
155
mained in the monastery, without receiving the habit, but fol-
lowing all the religious observances as though she had received it,
and with the greatest happiness. On the day the law officers
took her away she was brought to the house of a gentleman. She
was in tears, asking why they were tormenting her since it would
be of no avail. In the gentleman's house men religious as well as
other persons tried hard to persuade her. Some thought it was
all childish, others wanted her to enjoy the married state. I'd
have to go on at great length if I were to tell about the argu-
ments she was confronted with and the way she got out of them
all. She left them astonished by the things she said.
9. Since they saw they were getting nowhere, they brought
her to her mother's house so as to detain her there for a while.
Her mother was now tired of seeing so much disturbance, but
did not by any means help her; rather, from what appeared, she
was against her. It could be that she was against her so as to test
her further. At least that's what she told me afterward, and she
is so holy one cannot but believe what she says. But the girl did
not know this. Moreover, the girl's confessor was extremely op-
posed. As a result, she had only God, and one of her mother's
maids, who was one in whom she confided. Thus she underwent
much trial and hardship until her twelfth year, when she learned
that, since they couldn't get her to give up the idea, they were
planning to bring her to be a nun at the monastery where her
sister was,8 for not so much austerity was practiced there.
10. Knowing about this, she was determined to strive through
every means she could to obtain her happiness by going ahead
with her own plan. And thus, one day when she went to Mass
with her mother, her mother went to confess in one of the con-
fessionals. Dona Casilda then asked her governess to go to one of
the Fathers and ask him to say a Mass. When she saw that the
governess was gone, she placed her chopines in her sleeves, lifted
her skirt and hastened as quickly as she could to this monastery,
which was quite far away. Her governess, when she didn't find
her, went after her; once she got near, she asked a man to catch
hold of her. He said afterward that he wasn't able to move, and
so he let her get away. The girl entered the first gate of the
monastery, closed it, and began to shout; when the governess
156
St. Teresa of Avila
arrived, this young girl was already inside the monastery. They
gave her the habit immediately. And thus she fulfilled the good
inspirations the Lord had placed within her. His Majesty began
very shortly to repay her with spiritual favors, and she to serve
Him with the greatest happiness, humility, and detachment
from everything.
1 1 . May He be blessed forever! For thus, through the rough,
woolen dress of the poor He gives pleasure to one who was so at-
tached to very costly and elegant clothes; although the dress of
the poor played no part in hiding her beauty. For the Lord dis-
tributed natural graces to her as well as spiritual: a tempera-
ment and intelligence so agreeable as to awaken all to praise His
Majesty. May it please Him that there be many who will thus
answer His call.9
Chapter 12
Tells about the life and death of a religious, Beatrix de la Encar-
nacion, whom our Lord brought to this same house. Her life was
one of high perfection, and her death was of a kind that makes it
fitting for us to remember her.1
Some years before, a young girl, Dona Beatriz, a distant rel-
ative of Dona Casilda, entered this monastery to become a
nun.2 She amazed all when they saw the great virtues the Lord
was forming in her. And both the nuns and the prioress affirmed
that they had never noticed in any aspect of her life anything
they would consider an imperfection. Nor did they ever see any
other expression on her face than a modest happiness that well
revealed the inner joy of her soul. With an untroubled quiet she
kept strict silence in such a way that nothing singular was no-
ticed about it. Never was she known to have spoken a reprehen-
sible word, nor was any obstinacy seen in her, nor did she ever
make an excuse, even though, as is the custom in these houses in
order to practice mortification, the prioress to test her tried to
blame her for something she had not done. Never did she com-
plain about anything, or of any Sister. Nor by her expression or
The Foundations— Chapter 12
157
word did she in the office she held give displeasure to anyone or
occasion to attibute some imperfection to her. Neither was any
reason found for accusing her of some fault in chapter, even
though the defects the monitors would point out during chapter
were very minute.3 In all events her interior and exterior com-
posure was unusual. This arose from her keeping eternity very
much in mind and the end for which God created us. She always
bore the praises of God on her lips and the greatest spirit of
gratitude; in sum, hers was a perpetual prayer.
2 . In matters of obedience she was never at fault, but showed
a readiness, perfection, and joyfulness in all that she was or-
dered to do. She practiced the greatest charity toward her neigh-
bor—this was shown in such a way that she said that she would
allow herself to be broken into a thousand pieces to keep any
soul from being lost and so that thus all souls might find joy in
their Brother, Jesus Christ (which is how she referred to our
Lord). As for her trials, which were very severe, there were terri-
ble illnesses, as I shall say afterward,4 with intense pain, and she
suffered them with the greatest willingness and happiness, as if
they were choice favors and delights. Our Lord must have given
her spiritual favors and delights, for otherwise it would have
been impossible for her to bear her illnesses as cheerfully as she
did.
3. It happened that in this city of Valladolid some men were
going to be burned because of their great crimes. She must have
known that these men were not approaching their death with as
good a disposition as was fitting, and this caused her the greatest
affliction; with much anguish she went to our Lord and begged
Him very earnestly for the salvation of those souls. And in ex-
change for what they deserved (or that she might obtain that
grace— I don't remember the precise words), she promised to
give her whole life, all the trials and sufferings she could bear.
That same night the first fever struck her, and until she died she
was always suffering. The condemned men, in turn, died well;
hence it seems that God heard her prayer.
4. She was next afflicted with an intestinal abscess causing
the severest suffering. The patience the Lord had placed in her
soul was indeed necessary in order for her to endure it. This ab-
158
St. Teresa of Avila
scess was so internally located that the medicines they gave were
of no help until the Lord willed that it come to a head and
drain, and thus she improved somewhat from this illness. With
that desire for suffering given to her, she was unable to be satis-
fied with little, and thus once, while she was listening to a ser-
mon on the feast of the Cross, her desire so increased that when
the sermon was over she went in a tearful impulse and threw
herself on her bed. When they asked her what was the matter,
she answered that they should beseech God to give her many
trials and that with this she would be content.
5 . She spoke with the prioress about all these interior matters
and in this practice found comfort. Throughout her illness, she
never gave the least trouble to anyone, nor did she do anything
but what the infirmarian wanted, even if it was something as
slight as drinking a little water. It is very common for souls who
practice prayer to desire trials when they do not have any. But
when they do and are in the midst of these very trials, it is not
common for them to rejoice. And thus, once when she was af-
flicted, though the affliction did not last long, and suffering ex-
treme pain from an abscess in her throat so that she could not
swallow, she told the prioress in the presence of the Sisters (since
the prioress's duty was to console and encourage her to bear so
much sickness) that she had no pain and that she would not
change places with any of the Sisters who were very well. She
kept the Lord, for whom she was suffering, so present before her
that she tried to cover up her suffering as much as possible that
others would not know how great it was. And thus, except when
the pain grew intense, she complained very little.
6. It seemed to her there was no one on earth as wretched as
she; thus, insofar as one could understand, her humility was
great. In speaking of the virtues of other persons, she was very
joyful. In matters concerning mortification she was persistent.
Without letting it be noticed, she avoided what afforded her rec-
reation, for unless one were watching closely, this would not be
known. It didn't seem she lived or conversed with creatures, so
little did she care about anything. However things went, she
bore them with peace. She was always composed; so much so
that once a Sister said to her that she seemed to be like one of
The Foundations — Chapter 12
159
those persons of nobility so proud that they would rather die
from their hunger than let anyone outside know about it. For
they couldn't believe that she failed to feel some things, al-
though it hardly seemed so.
7. She performed all her work and duties with the goal of not
losing any merit, and so she used to say to the Sisters: "The
smallest thing when done for the love of God is priceless; we
should set our eyes, Sisters, only on this goal of love and on
pleasing Him." She never meddled in things that were not her
responsibility; thus she found fault with no one but herself. So
strongly did she feel that no good should be said of her that she
was careful not to speak well of others in their presence so as not
to cause them pain. She never sought consolation (neither by
going to the garden nor in any created thing), for she said it
would be rude to seek relief from the sufferings that our Lord
gave her. Thus she never asked for anything, but got along with
what was given her. She also said that it would be a cross for her
to find consolation in anything that was not God. The fact is
that when I inquired from those in the house, no one had seen in
her anything other than what would be seen in someone of great
perfection.
8. Well, when the time arrived in which our Lord desired to
take her from this life, the sufferings increased; so many ill-
nesses came upon her together that others, in order to praise our
Lord at observing the happiness with which she bore them, went at
times to see her. The chaplain especially, who is the confessor in
that monastery and a true servant of God, had a great desire to
be present at her death. Being her confessor, he considered her
a saint. God was pleased to grant him this desire. For since she
was in so much pain, and although she had already been anointed
they called him in case there would be need that night for her to
be reconciled or helped to die. A little before nine while all were
with her (and he too), about a quarter of an hour before she
died, she raised her eyes, and a happiness like a shining light
came over her countenance. She remained as would someone
gazing on an object that gives profound joy, for she smiled
twice. All those who were there, and the priest himself, received
so much spiritual delight and happiness that they didn't know
160
St. Teresa of Avila
what else to say than that it seemed to them they were in heaven.
And with this happiness that I mention, her eyes fixed on heaven,
she died, looking like an angel. Thus we are able to believe, ac-
cording to our faith and according to her life, that the Lord
brought her to rest in payment for the many things she had de-
sired to suffer for Him.
9. The chaplain affirms, and has told many persons, that at
the time of her burial he perceived an extremely sweet fragrance
coming from her body. The Sister sacristan also affirms that
despite all the candles that burned at the funeral and burial,
not one of them grew smaller in size. All this can be believed as
coming from the mercy of God. In speaking of these things with
a confessor of hers from the Society of Jesus with whom for many
years she discussed her soul, I was told that they didn't amount
to much; and he said he was not surprised because he knew that
our Lord communicated a great deal with her.
10. May it please His Majesty, my daughters, that we know
how to profit from companionship as good as this and from
many other persons whom our Lord gives us in these houses. It
may be that I will say something about them so that those who
are a bit lukewarm will be strengthened and that we may all
praise the Lord who in this way lets His magnificent riches show
forth in us weak, little women.
Chapter 13
Treats of how and by whom in the year 1568 the first house for
the observance of the primitive rule by discalced Carmelite
friars was founded.
Before making the foundation of Valladolid, I had al-
ready agreed with both Father Fray Antonio de Jesus, who
was then prior of the Carmelite monastery of St. Anne in Me-
dina, and Fray John of the Cross, as I have already mentioned, 1
that they would be the first to enter if a monastery for discalced
friars were founded for the observance of the primitive rule.
Since I had no resources for acquiring a house, I did nothing but
. The Foundations — Chapter 13
161
commend the matter to our Lord. For, as I have said, I was now
satisfied with these Fathers.2 The Lord had indeed exercised
Father Fray Antonio de Jesus in trials during the year since I had
spoken with him; and he suffered them with much perfection.
As for Father Fray John of the Cross, no trial was necessary.
Even though he had lived among the calced friars, those of the
cloth,3 he always lived a life of great perfection and religious ob-
servance. Since the Lord had given me the chief requirement
for a beginning, which was friars, He was pleased to arrange the
rest.
2. A gentleman from Avila, named Don Rafael,4 with whom
I had never spoken, found out, I don't know how (for I don't
remember), about my desire to make a foundation for discalced
friars. He came and offered me a house he owned in a little
town5 of very few inhabitants (I don't think even twenty, but I
don't remember now). He kept the house there for an adminis-
trator who collected the revenue from his grain fields. Although
I imagined how it might look, I praised our Lord and thanked
this gentleman very much. He told me it was on the direct route
to Medina del Campo and that since I had to pass by there to
make the foundation in Valladolid I could see it. I told him I
would, and indeed that is what I did. I left Avila with a nun
companion and with Father Julian de Avila, the chaplain at St.
Joseph's in Avila, the priest I mentioned who helped me in these
travels.
3. Although we left in the morning, we got lost because we
didn't know the road; and since the place is little known, we
couldn't get much information about where it was. Thus, our
traveling that day was very trying and the sun was very hot.
When we thought we were near, we discovered we had just as far
to go. I always remember the tiredness we felt and the wrong
roads we took on that journey. The result was that we arrived
shortly before nightfall.
When we entered the house it was in such a state that we
dared not remain there that night; it wasn't at all clean and was
filled with vermin. It had a fairly good entrance way, a room
double in size, a loft, and a small kitchen. This was all we had
for our monastery. I figured that the entrance way could serve
162
St. Teresa of Avila
as the chapel, the loft as the choir, which would adapt well, and
the room for sleeping.
My companion, although much better than I and very fond
of penance, couldn't bear the thought of my planning to found
a monastery there and said to me: "Surely, Mother, there isn't a
soul, however good, that could put up with this. Don't even con-
sider it." The Father who came with me, although he agreed
with my companion, did not oppose me since I had told him my
intentions.6 We went to spend the night in the church, although
not in vigil because we were exhausted.
4. When we arrived in Medina, I spoke immediately with
Father Fray Antonio, and I told him what took place and that if
he would have the courage to stay there for a while, I was cer-
tain God would soon provide a remedy, and that the important
thing was to begin. It seems to me I was most aware of what the
Lord had done and was feeling sure, so to speak; just as I do now
from what I see and even much more so because of what up till
now I have seen, for at the time of my writing this there are,
through the goodness of God, ten monasteries of discalced fri-
ars. 7 And I told him he should realize that neither the provincial
at that time nor the previous one would give permission — for
the foundation needed their consent, as I said at the beginning
— if we were seen living in a well established house.8 This was
apart from the fact that we did not have the means for such a
house. And I pointed out that in that little place and house the
foundation would not attract attention. God had given him
more courage than He had given me. And so Fray Antonio told
me that he would be willing to live not only there but in a pigsty.
Fray John of the Cross was of the same mind.
5. Now what remained was to obtain the consent of the two
Fathers I mentioned because this was the condition under which
our Father General granted the permission.9 I hoped in our
Lord to obtain it, and so I told Father Fray Antonio to take care
to do all he could to gather something together for this house. I
went with Fray John of the Cross to the foundation of Valladolid
about which I have written. 10 And since we spent some days be-
fore establishing the enclosure on account of the workmen who
were getting the house ready, there was an opportunity to teach
The Foundations — Chapter 13
163
Father Fray John of the Cross about our way of life so that he
would have a clear understanding of everything, whether it con-
cerned mortification or the style of both our community life and
the recreation we have together. The recreation is taken with
such moderation that it only serves to reveal the Sisters' faults
and to provide a little relief so that the rule may be kept in its
strictness. He was so good that I, at least, could have learned
much more from him than he from me. Yet this is not what I
did, but I taught him about the lifestyle of the Sisters.11
6. It pleased God that the provincial, Fray Alonso Gonzalez,
from whom I had to obtain approbation, was there. He was el-
derly, good natured, and without malice. I told him many
things, and reminded him of the account he would have to give
if he hindered a work as good as this when asked by God to carry
it out. His Majesty, wanting the foundation, put him in the
right disposition, for he mellowed very much. When Dona
Maria de Mendoza and the bishop of Avila, her brother (who is
the one who always favored and protected us) came, they con-
vinced both him and Father Fray Angel de Salazar, the previous
provincial, the one from whom I feared all the difficulty. More-
over, a certain need arose at the time for which the latter pro-
vincial had need of assistance from Dona Maria de Mendoza.
This fact, I believe, helped a great deal, although even if this
opportunity had not been present, our Lord would have moved
the provincial's heart just as He did the heart of Father General
which was anything but inclined to the idea.
7. Oh, God help me, how many obstacles I have seen in these
business matters that seemed impossible to overcome, and how
easy it was for His Majesty to remove them. And how ashamed I
am not to be better after seeing what I have seen. For now as I
am writing, I am growing fearful and want our Lord to make
known to everyone how in these foundations we creatures have
done next to nothing. The Lord has directed all by means of
such lowly beginnings that only His Majesty could have raised
the work to what it now is. May He be always blessed, amen.
164
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 14
Continues to speak of the foundation of the first monastery of
discalced Carmelite friars. For the honor and glory of God, tells
something about both the kind of life lived there and the good
our Lord began to do in those surroundings.
Having the permission of these two provincials, I now
figured that nothing was lacking. We arranged that
Father Fray John of the Cross would go to the house and get it
ready so that, in spite of all, it could be lived in. For me, what
was most urgent was that the friars begin, for I was very fearful
lest some obstacle would come along our path. And this they
did. Father Fray Antonio had already gathered some of the
things necessary. Insofar as we could, we helped him; although
our help amounted to little. He came to Valladolid with great
happiness to speak to me and told me what he had collected,
which was very little. It was only with clocks that he was well
provided, for he had five of them; this greatly amused me. He
told me they were meant as a help to follow the daily schedule,
which he wanted well fixed; I don't think he even had any bed
yet to sleep in.
2. Although they had wanted to do a great deal with the
house, not much time was required to prepare it because there
was no money. When it was ready, Father Fray Antonio happily
renounced his priorship and promised to observe the primitive
rule. Although he was told to try the new way of life first, he did
not want to. He went to his little house with the greatest happi-
ness in the world. Fray John was already there.
3. Father Fray Antonio has told me that when he first came
near the little place he felt a great inner joy, and it seemed to
him that he was now through with the world by leaving it all and
placing himself in that solitude. Neither of the two found the
house unfit; rather, it seemed to them they were living in the
midst of great pleasures.
4. Oh, God help me! What little these buildings and exterior
comforts do interiorly. Out of love for Him, I ask you my Sisters
and Fathers, that you never fail to be very moderate in this mat-
The Foundations— Chapter 14
165
ter of large and mangificent houses. Let us keep before us our
true founders, those holy fathers from whom we descend, for we
know that by means of that path of poverty and humility they
now enjoy God.
5. Truly I have seen that there is more spirituality and even
inner happiness when suitable accommodations for the body are
seemingly lacking than afterward when the house is large and
the accommodations good. What benefit is it to us that the house
be large since it is only one small room that each one habitually
uses? That it be well designed— what help is that to us? Indeed,
if it isn't well designed, we won't then have to go around look-
ing at the walls. By considering that the house will not be ours
forever, but ours only for as short a time as this life lasts, even
though that may be long, everything will be easy for us. We will
see that the less we have here below, the more we will enjoy in
eternity, where the dwelling places will be in conformity with
the love with which we have imitated the life of our good Jesus.
If we say that these are the beginning steps in order to renew the
rule of the Virgin, His Mother, our Lady and Patroness, let us
not be so offensive to her or to our holy fathers of the past as to
fail to live as they did. Since, because of our weakness, we can-
not do so in every way, in matters that are not essential for sus-
taining life, we must proceed very carefully. For it is all a matter
of but a little effort, and that becomes delightful, as was the
case with these two Fathers. And once we are determined to un-
dergo this effort, the difficulty passes, for all the pain is but a lit-
tle in the beginning.
6. On the First or Second Sunday of Advent (I don't remem-
ber which of these Sundays it was), in the year 1568, the first
Mass was said in that little stable of Bethlehem, for it doesn't
seem to me the house was any better. 1 The following Lent, while
on my way to the foundation in Toledo, I passed by there.2 When I
arrived in the morning, Father Fray Antonio was sweeping the
doorway to the church with that joyful expression on his face
that he always has. I said to him: "What's this, my Father; what
has become of your honor?" Telling me of his great happiness,
he answered with these words: "I curse the day I had any."
When I entered the little church, I was astonished to see the
166
St. Teresa of Avila
spirit the Lord had put there. And it wasn't only I, for the two
merchants, my friends from Medina who had accompanied me
there, did nothing else but weep. There were so many crosses, so
many skulls! I never forget a little cross made for the holy water
fount from sticks with a paper image of Christ attached to it; it
inspired more devotion than if it had been something very ex-
pertly carved.
7 . The choir was in the loft. In the middle of the loft the ceil-
ing was high enough to allow for the recitation of the Hours, but
one had to stoop low in order to enter and to hear Mass. There
were in the two corners facing the church two little hermitages,
where one could do no more than either lie down or sit. Both
were filled with hay because the place was very cold, and the
roof almost touched one's head. Each had a little window facing
the altar and a stone for a pillow; and there, too, the crosses and
skulls. I learned that after the friars finished Matins they did not
leave the choir before Prime but remained there in prayer, for
their prayer was so deep that when it came time to say Prime
their habits were covered with snow without their having be-
come aware of the fact. The two Fathers recited the Hours with
another Father from among those of the cloth who went to stay
with them (although he didn't change his habit because he was
very sickly) and another young, unordained brother who was
also there.3
8. They used to go preach in many of the neighboring towns
where the people were left without any instructions in Christian
doctrine. On this account also I rejoiced that the house had
been founded there. For I had been told that there was no mon-
astery nearby nor any place from which the people could get in-
structions, which was a great pity. In a short time the reputation
the Fathers had was so great that I experienced the deepest con-
solation when I learned of it. For their preaching, as I say, they
journeyed barefoot a league and a half, or two, for at that time
they did not yet wear sandals (afterward they were ordered to
wear them), and in much snow and cold. When finished with
their preaching and confessing, they returned very late to their
house for supper. In their happiness, all they did seemed small
to them.
The Foundations — Chapter 14
167
9. As for food, they had a surplus, for the people in the
neighboring towns provided them with more than they needed.
And some gentlemen from those towns came there to confes-
sion and offered them better houses and sites. Among those
gentlemen was a Don Luis, lord of five towns.4 This particular
gentleman had built a church to honor an image of our Lady,
which was indeed worthy of being venerated. His father had
sent it through a merchant from Flanders to his grandmother
or mother (I don't remember which). The merchant liked it so
much that he kept it for many years, and afterward at the hour
of his death ordered that it be sent to Don Luis. It is a large al-
tarpiece; I haven't seen anything better in my life — and others
say the same. Father Fray Antonio went to that place at the re-
quest of this gentleman and saw the image; he liked it so much,
and rightly so, that he agreed to transfer the monastery there.
This town is called Mancera.5 Although there was no well in
that place, nor did it seem that any could be found there, this
gentleman built the friars a monastery, small and in keeping
with their profession, and gave them furnishings. He did every-
thing very well.
10. I don't want to fail to mention the way, considered to be
miraculous, in which the Lord gave them water. One day after
supper, while the prior, Father Fray Antonio, was talking in the
cloister with his friars about the need for water, he rose and took
a staff he was holding in his hands and made a sign of the cross
on one part of it (I think he made the sign of the cross, although
I don't remember well whether he did or not); but anyway he
pointed with the stick and said: "Now, dig here." After they had
dug only a little, so much water came out that it is now even dif-
ficult to drain the well so as to clean it. The water is very good
for drinking, and all that was needed for the remaining con-
struction work was taken from there, and never, as I say, does
the well empty out. After they had enclosed a garden with a
wall, they sought to get water for the garden and made a water
wheel and went to much expense; up till now, they have not
been able to find any more, not even a little.
11. I couldn't thank our Lord enough when I saw that little
house,6 which shortly before was uninhabitable, with such a
168
St. Teresa of Avila
spirit that everywhere I looked I found something edifying. And
by the way they were living, I learned of the mortification,
prayer, and good example they were giving. A gentleman and
his wife, whom I knew and who lived in a nearby town, came to
see me there, and they never stopped telling me about the sanc-
tity of these Fathers and the great good they were doing in those
towns. I experienced the greatest interior joy, for it seemed to
me that I saw a beginning that would be of much benefit to our
order and service to our Lord. May it please His Majesty that
things will continue as they are now, and that my plan will in-
deed be realized.
The merchants who had accompanied me told me that not
for all the world would they have missed having gone there.
What a thing virtue is, for that poverty pleased those merchants
more than all their riches, and their souls were left satisfied and
comforted.
1 2 . After conversing with those Fathers, I spoke of some things
and begged them especially— since I am weak and wretched—
not to be so rigorous in penitential practices, for what they were
doing was severe. Since it had cost me so much in desire and
prayer for the Lord to give me some friars to begin with and I
saw such a good start, I feared lest the devil would attempt to
put an end to this beginning before what I hoped for could be
accomplished. As one who is imperfect and of little faith, I did
not observe that this was God's work and that His Majesty would
carry it forward. Since they engaged in practices in which I did
not, they paid little attention to my words about giving them
up. And thus I went away greatly consoled, although I did not
give God the praise so great a favor deserved.
May it please His Majesty, in His goodness, that I be able to
serve somehow for the very many things I owe Him, amen. For,
indeed, I understood that this foundation was a much greater
grace than the favor He granted me to found houses of nuns.
The Foundations— Chapter 15
169
Chapter 15
Treats of the foundation of the monastery of the glorious St.
Joseph made in the city of Toledo in 1569.
In the city of Toledo there was a merchant, a respected
man and servant of God, who never wanted to marry but
lived a very good Catholic life of great trustworthiness and vir-
tue. Through honest trade he went about increasing his wealth
with the intention of using it for some work very pleasing to the
Lord. He was struck with a fatal illness. His name was Martin
Ramirez1. A Father from the Society of Jesus named Pablo
Hernandez,2 a confessor of mine when I was in Toledo arrang-
ing for the foundation of Malagon, was very eager that one of
our monasteries be founded in Toledo. So he went to speak with
the man and told him of the great service such a foundation
would give our Lord and how the fund for chaplains and
chaplaincies3 that he wanted to establish could be left for this
monastery and that the certain feast days and everything else he
had resolved to leave to the care of a parish in that city would be
taken care of by such a monastery.
2. The merchant was so sick that he saw there was no time to
make such arrangements, and he left the whole matter in the
hands of his brother, whose name was Alonso Alvarez Ramirez;
once this was done, God took him. The right decision had been
made, for this Alonso Alvarez is a very discreet God-fearing
man, truthful and charitable in almsgiving, and open-minded.
As one who has had many dealings with him, I can as an eyewit-
ness say this in all truthfulness.
3. When Martin Ramirez died, I was still involved with the
foundation at Valladolid. There I received a letter from Father
Pablo Hernandez of the Society and from Alonso Alvarez him-
self, giving me an account of what had happened and advising
me that if I wanted to accept this foundation I should come
quickly. So, shortly after the house in Valladolid was put in or-
der, I left for Toledo. I arrived on the eve of Our Lady of the In-
carnation4 and went to the house of Dona Luisa, which is where
I stayed at other times. She was the foundress of Malagon. I was
170
St. Teresa of Avila
received with great joy, for she loves me very much. I brought
with me two nuns from St. Joseph's in Avila, who were great ser-
vants of God.5 We were immediately given a suite of rooms, as
was that lady's custom, where we remained with as much recol-
lection as in a monastery.
4. I immediately began to take up the business matters with
Alonso Alvarez and a son-in-law of his, named Diego Ortiz. The
latter, although very good, and a theologian, was more unyield-
ing in his opinion than Alonso Alvarez. He did not readily soften
his demands. They began to ask for many conditions that I didn't
think I could easily agree to. While engaged in these negotia-
tions, I was looking for a house to rent so as to establish possession
of the new foundation. But I was never able to find one that was
suitable, although a great deal of searching had been done. Nor
was I able to get the ecclesiastical administrator to give me the
license (for at that time the archbishop was not there),6 although
this lady in whose house I was staying tried hard, as did also a
nobleman, a canon in this church, whose name was Don Pedro
Manrique, son of the governor of Castile. Don Pedro was a very
good servant of God, and still is (for he is alive, though he had
poor health). Some years after this house was founded, he en-
tered the Society of Jesus where he is now.7 He was an important
person in this city because he is very intelligent and trustworthy.
Nonetheless, he was unable to get me the license. For when the
governor softened in his resistance, those on the council did not.
To add to this, Alonso Alvarez and I couldn't come to an agree-
ment because of his son-in-law to whom he gave much power.
We ended up by disagreeing on everything.
5. I didn't know what to do, for I hadn't come for any other
reason, and I saw that if I went away without making a founda-
tion, the fact would be much publicized. Nonetheless, I was sad-
dened more over their not giving me the license than by all the
rest. I knew that once possession of the foundation was estab-
lished, the Lord would provide as He had in other places. So I re-
solved to talk to the governor, and I went to a church that was
next to his house and sent someone to beg him to be kind enough
to speak with me. More than two months had passed in trying to
obtain the license, and each day the matter got worse. When I
The Foundations — Chapter 15
171
saw him, I told him that it was hard to accept the fact that there
were women who wanted to live with so much austerity, perfec-
tion, and withdrawal from the world while those who would
bear nothing of this but lived in comfort wanted to hinder these
works that were of such service to our Lord. These and many
other things I told him with a great determination which was
given me by the Lord. The governor's heart was so moved that
before I left he gave me the license.
6. I went away very happy. It seemed to me I now had every-
thing without having anything, for I must have had only about
three or four ducats. With these I bought two paintings done on
canvas8 (for I didn't have anything with an image to put on the al-
tar), two straw mattresses and a woolen blanket. As for the house,
we forgot about it since I was not in agreement with Alonso Al-
varez. A merchant in the same city, a friend of mine named
Alonso de Avila9, who had never wanted to marry and who
thinks only of doing good for those in prison — and he does many
other good works as well— told me not to be afflicted, that he
would find a house for me; but he took sick. Some days before, a
very holy Franciscan friar named Martin de la Cruz had come to
that place. He was there for some days, and when he left he sent
me a young man named Andrada10 (by no means rich but very
poor), asking him to do everything I told him. One day when
Andrada was attending Mass in a church, he came to speak
to me and tell me what he had been told by that blessed man
and that he was certainly ready to do everything he could for
me; although only with his personal service could he help us. I
thanked him and was amused, and my companions even more
so, to see the kind of help that saintly man had sent us. The
clothes this young man had on were not the kind one would
wear when going to speak with discalced nuns.
7 . Having the license but no one who would help me, I didn't
know what to do or whom to entrust with the task of seeking a
house for me to rent. I remembered the young man that Fray
Martin de la Cruz had sent me and mentioned him to my com-
panions. They laughed very much at me and told me not to do
such a thing, that it would serve for no more than to make the
secret plan public. I didn't want to listen to them. Since he was
172
St. Teresa of Avila
sent by that servant of God, I trusted that there was something
for him to do and that his offer to help had a mystery about it.
Thus I sent for him and told him, placing him under all the se-
crecy I could, what was happening and asked that with this in
mind he look for a house for me and that I would provide a
guarantor for the rent. The guarantor of the rent was the good
Alonso de Avila who, as I mentioned,11 took sick. The task
seemed a very easy one to Andrada and he told me that he
would look for one. Right away, the day after the next, while I
was attending Mass at the house of the Society of Jesus, he came
to speak to me and said that he already had the house, that he
had the keys, that it was nearby and that we should go to see it.
And this we did. It was so nice that we stayed in it for almost a
year.12
8. Frequently, when I reflect on this foundation, I am amazed
by the designs of God. For almost three months — at least more
than two, but I don't remember exactly— very wealthy persons
had made the rounds of Toledo looking for a house for us and
were never able to find one, as though there were no houses in
the city. And then this youth comes along, not rich but very
poor, and the Lord desired that he find one immediately. And
though it could have been found without trouble if an agree-
ment had been reached with Alonso Alvarez, not only did we
fail to reach one but were far from doing so. Thus in God's de-
sign the foundation had to be made in poverty and with trial.
9. Well then, since the house pleased us, I gave the order at
once to take possession before anything was done in it, lest some
obstacle arise. Indeed, in a short while Andrada, who was men-
tioned, came to tell me that the house was being vacated that
day, that we should bring our furniture. I told him there was lit-
tle to do, for we had nothing but two straw mattresses and a
blanket. He must have been surprised. My companions regret-
ted that I told him and said that since I had mentioned this to
him and he thereby saw how poor we were, he would not want to
help us. I had not thought of this, but he paid little attention to
it. For the One who gave him that desire had to advance the
work until it was completed. And indeed I don't think we our-
selves could have done better than Andrada in preparing the
The Foundations — Chapter 15
173
house and getting workmen. We borrowed the things necessary
for saying Mass, and, in order to take possession of the house,
went with a workman at nightfall; and we brought a bell that is
used at the elevation of the Blessed Sacrament, for we had no
other. With much fear on my part, we spent the whole night
getting everything in order. There was no place for a church ex-
cept in one of the rooms of another little house next to this one
and occupied at the time by some women; the owner had also
rented this little house to us.
10. Since we had everything ready by dawn and we had not
dared say anything to the women lest they reveal what we were
doing, we began to make a door through a thin partition wall
which led on to a very tiny patio. When the women, still in bed,
heard the pounding, they got up terrified. We had all we could
do to calm them down; but it was already time for Mass, and al-
though they were hard to deal with, they did not do us any
harm. And when they saw what our intention was the Lord paci-
fied them.
1 1 . Afterward, I realized how poorly we had proceeded; for
at the time, with the absorption God gives in the work so that it
will get done, one does not think of the difficulties. Well, when
the owner of the house found out that it was made into a church,
the trouble began, for she was the wife of an heir to an entailed
estate and was very much opposed to this. The Lord was pleased
that when she learned we would buy the house if we were satis-
fied with it, she was appeased. But, when those on the council
learned that the monastery, for which they had never wanted to
give a license, was founded, they became very angry and went
and complained to the canon (whom I had secretly informed),
boasting to him that they would do everything in their power to
destroy it. Since the ecclesiastical administrator had gone on a
trip after having given me the permission and was not in the
city, they went to complain to the canon I mentioned, aston-
ished at such boldness that a useless little woman should found a
monastery against their will. He pretended that he knew noth-
ing and pacified them as best he could, telling them that she
had done so in other cities and with due authorization.
12. After I don't know how many days, they sent us a notice
174
St. Teresa of Avila
of excommunication so that no Mass could be said until I pre-
sented the documents giving me authorization for what was
done. I answered very meekly that I would do what they ordered,
although I was not obliged to obey in that matter. And I asked
Don Pedro Manrique, the gentleman I mentioned,13 to go and
speak to them and show them the documents. He appeased
them since the deed was already done; otherwise, we would
have been in deep trouble.
13. For some days we had no more than the straw mattresses
and the blanket, and even that day we didn't have so much as a
stick of wood to make a fire to cook a sardine. And I don't know
who it was the Lord moved to leave a little bundle of wood in the
church to help us. The nights were quite cold; but with the
blanket and the woolen mantles we wore, we kept ourselves
warm, for these mantles often help us. It will seem impossible
that though we had stayed in the house of that lady who loved
me so much,14 we had to enter the new foundation in so much
poverty. I don't know the reason, except that God wanted us to
experience the good that lies in this virtue. I did not ask for
help, because I don't like to be a bother; and she perhaps wasn't
aware. Moreover, I am indebted for what she was able to give
us.
14. The experience was very good for us; the interior conso-
lation and happiness we felt were so great that I often think
about what the Lord keeps stored up within the virtues. It seems
to me this lack we experienced was the cause of a sweet contem-
plation. But this poverty did not last long, for soon Alonso Alva-
rez himself as well as others were providing us with more than we
needed. And, true to say, my sadness was such that it resembled
that of discovering that many gold jewels in my possession were
taken away and I left poor. Thus I felt sorry that they were
bringing our poverty to an end, and my companions felt the
same. Since I saw they were sad, I asked them what troubled
them, and they answered: "What else could it be, Mother, for it
no longer seems we are poor."
15. From then on my desire to be very poor increased. And I
felt freedom in having so little esteem for temporal goods, for
the lack of these goods brings an increase of interior good. Cer-
The Foundations — Chapter 15
175
tainly, such a lack carries in its wake another kind of fullness
and tranquility.
During those days in which I was discussing the foundation
with Alonso Alvarez, there were many persons to whom the plan
seemed wrong — and they told me so — since that family was not
from the nobility, although the family was very good, regardless
of its social status, as I have said. 15 They thought that in a city as
important as Toledo I would not lack comfort. I did not pay
much attention to this, because, glory to God, I have always es-
teemed virtue more than lineage. But so much was said to the
ecclesiastical administrator that he gave me the license under
the condition that I make the foundation as in other places.
16. I didn't know what to do, for after the foundation was
made they again took up the negotiations. But since the house
was already founded, I arranged to let them become the patrons
of the large chapel and settled things in such a way that they
would have no connection with what pertained to the monas-
tery, as is now the case. There was already someone who wanted
the large chapel, an important person; and there were many
opinions about this so that I didn't know what to decide. Our
Lord desired to give me light in this matter, and so at one time
He told me that lineage and social status mattered not at all in
the judgment of God. He gave me a severe reprimand for listen-
ing to those who spoke to me about this; concerns of this sort
were not for those of us who had already despised the world.
17. With these and other reasons I was very humbled, and I
resolved to settle what had been begun and give them the chapel.
I never regretted it, for we have seen clearly what poor assis-
tance we would have received as far as buying a house goes. But
with the help of Alonso Alvarez we bought a house in the place
where we are now. It is one of the nicest in Toledo, and cost
twelve thousand ducats. Since, according to the contract, so
many Masses and feasts are to be celebrated, the nuns as well as
the people are much consoled. Had I paid attention to the vain
opinions of the world, it would have been impossible, from what
we can understand, for us to be so well provided for, and I
would have offended the one who with so much good will did
this charitable deed for us.
176
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 16
Treats of some of the things that have taken place, to the honor
and glory of God, in this monastery of St. fosephs in Toledo.
It has occurred to me to say something about what some of
the nuns put into practice in the service of the Lord so that
those who follow may strive to imitate the good things that were
done in the beginning.
Before the house was bought, a nun named Ana de la Madre
de Dios entered here at the age of forty. Her whole life had been
spent in serving His Majesty. Although her house and way of life
lacked no comfort because she lived alone and was well-to-do,
she wanted instead to choose the poverty and submission of our
order, and so she came to speak with me. Her health was poor.
But since I saw she was so good and determined a soul, I thought
she would be helpful for the beginning of the foundation; so I
admitted her. God was pleased to give her much more health in
the practice of austerity and submission than she had in her
freedom and comfort.1
2. What edified me, and the reason I am recording this here,
is that before she made her profession she offered everything she
owned— and she was very rich— as an alms to the house. I was
not happy about this and did not want to consent, telling her
that perhaps afterward either she would be sorry she entered or
we might not want to admit her to profession. And I added that
what she did was imprudent, although we would not have let
her go without giving the money back. But I wanted to overstate
the point: first, so that there would be no occasion for tempta-
tion; second, in order to test her spirit. She answered that if this
were to happen she would beg for the money out of love of God.
And I was unable to make her change her mind. She lived very
happily and with much better health.
3. The mortification and the obedience that were practiced
in this monastery were great. As a result, the several times that I
was there the prioress had to be careful2 about what she said.
For even when she said something only casually, they would im-
mediately carry it out. Once they were looking at a pond that
The Foundations — Chapter 16
177
was in the garden, and she said to a nun standing nearby: "But
what would happen if I were to say, 'jump in'?" Hardly was this
said, and the nun was in the pond and got so soaked that she
had to change her clothes. At another time, when I was present,
the nuns were going to confession, and one who was waiting for
the other to finish came to speak to the prioress.3 She asked her
why she was doing that and if it was a good way to recollect her-
self and told her to go stick her head in a well that was nearby
and there think of her sins. The nun thought she was to jump in-
to the well and went so quickly to do so that if they hadn't hur-
ried to hold her back she would have done so thinking she was
doing God the greatest service in the world. Other similar things,
requiring much mortification, were done. This made it neces-
sary for learned men to restrain the nuns and explain to them
the matters in which they were obliged to obey. For these nuns
did some things that were imprudent, so that if their good inten-
tion had not redeemed them, they would have lost rather than
gained merit. The above is true not only of this monastery, but
it occurred to me to speak of the matter here. Rather, in all the
others there are so many things happening that I wish I had not
a part in them so that I could freely tell about some of them for
the praise of our Lord in His servants.
4. It happened that while I was here a fatal illness struck one
of the Sisters. After receiving the sacraments and being anointed,
her happiness and joy were so great that, as though she were go-
ing to another country, we were able to talk to her about how
she should recommend us to God when in heaven and to the
saints to whom we were devoted. A little before she died, I went
to her room to be with her, for I had just gone before the Blessed
Sacrament to beg the Lord to give her a good death. And when I
entered I saw His Majesty at the head of the bed. His arms were
partly opened as though He were protecting her, and He told
me that I could be certain He would protect all the nuns that die
in these monasteries and that they should not fear temptation at
the hour of death. I was left very consoled and recollected. After
a little while I began to speak to her, and she said to me: "O
Mother, what great things I am going to see." Thus she died,
like an angel.4
178
St. Teresa of Avila
5. And I have noticed that some who have died since this
occurred have done so with quiet and calm as though they were
in rapture or in the prayer of quiet, without showing the least
sign of any temptation. Thus I hope in the goodness of God that
He will be merciful to us at the moment of death through the
merits of His Son and those of His glorious Mother whose habit
we wear. Therefore, my daughters, let us strive to be true Car-
melites, for soon the day's journey will end. And if we were to
know the affliction that many experience at the hour of death
and the cunning deceit with which the devil tempts them, we
would highly esteem this favor.
6. One thing occurs to me now that I want to tell you, for I
knew the person, and indeed he was almost a relative of my rela-
tives. He was a great gambler, who had taken some theology by
which the devil tried to deceive him, making him believe that
the purpose of amendment at the hour of death was worth noth-
ing. He had this so fixed in his mind that others could in no way
get him to confess. Nor did anything suffice, though the poor
man was extremely afflicted and repentant of the evil life he had
lived. But he asked why he should confess since he saw that he
was condemned. A learned Dominican friar who was his confes-
sor did nothing but argue with him, but the devil taught him so
many subtleties that the friar's arguments were insufficient.
Thus for some days the confessor didn't know what to do; and,
along with others, he must have recommended the matter
urgently to the Lord since he had compassion on the man.
7. When the illness, which involved pain in the side, was be-
ginning to afflict the man greatly, the confessor returned. He
must have thought up other arguments, but they would have
been of little benefit if the Lord had not taken pity on that man
and softened his heart. And when the confessor began to speak
to him and give him reasons, the man sat up in bed as though he
were not sick at all and said to him: "What, in short, do you
have to say that could help me benefit from my confession? For I
want to make it." And he sent for a secretary or notary (I don't re-
member which) to record his testimony, and made a very solemn
oath not to gamble any more and to amend his life. He con-
fessed very well and received the sacraments with such devotion
that from what we can understand according to our faith he was
The Foundations — Chapter 1 7
179
saved. May Our Lord be pleased, Sisters, that we live our lives as
true daughters of the Blessed Virgin and keep our vows so that
He may grant us the favor He has promised us. Amen.
Chapter 17
Treats of the foundation of the two monasteries in Pastrana,
one for the nuns and one for the friars. They were made in 1570,
I mean 1569.
AFTER THE FOUNDATION OF THE HOUSE IN TOLEDO, during
the fifteen days preceding Pentecost, the little church,
the grates, and other things had to be prepared. There was a
great deal to do, for as I have said we remained in this house for
almost a year. I was tired after those days from going about with
the workmen. When the vigil of Pentecost came, all the work
was done. That morning as we sat in the refectory to eat, great
consolation came over me in seeing that I no longer had any-
thing to do and that I could enjoy some time with the Lord on
Pentecost; I was almost unable to eat so consoled did my soul
feel.1
2. I did not deserve to have this consolation very long, for
while I was in the midst of it, they came to tell me that a servant
sent by the princess of Eboli, the wife of Ruy Gomez de Silva,
was there. I went to meet him and learned that the princess was
sending him for me since I had been in communication with her
for some time about the foundation of a monastery in Pastrana.
I didn't think it was to come about so quickly. The idea made
me uneasy because it would have been dangerous to leave a
monastery founded so recently and in the midst of opposition.
So I resolved not to go, and said so. The servant told me that this
would not be acceptable, because the princess was already in
Pastrana and had not gone for any other reason, that she would
take a refusal as an insult. Despite all this, I had no thought of
going, and so I told him to go get something to eat and that I
would write to the princess; and then he left. He was a very hon-
orable man, and though he did not like it that I refused, once I
explained the reasons to him, he went along with them.
180
St. Teresa of Avila
3. Moreover, the nuns who were to make up the new com-
munity had just arrived, another reason why I did not see how I
could leave so soon.2 1 went before the Blessed Sacrament to beg
the Lord to help me write in such a way that the princess would
not grow angry. That would have been very bad for us since the
friars were then just beginning and, above all, it was good to
keep in the favor of Ruy Gomez who had such strong influence
with the king and with everyone. But I don't remember if I re-
called the latter, although I know well that I did not want to dis-
please Ruy Gomez.3 While I was praying to the Lord, He told
me not to fail to go, that I was going for more than that founda-
tion and that I should bring the rule and constitutions.
4. Since I heard this — although for myself I saw serious rea-
sons for not going— I didn't dare but do what I usually do in
similar instances, which was to follow the counsel of my confes-
sor. And so I sent for him. I did not tell him what I had heard in
prayer.4 In this way I am always left more satisfied, for I beg the
Lord to give my confessors light in conformity with what they
can know naturally. And when His Majesty wants something to
be done, He puts it in their heart. This has happened to me
many times. So it happened this time, for after considering
everything, he thought I should go, and with that I decided to
leave.
5 . I set out from Toledo the second day after Pentecost travel-
ing by way of Madrid. There my companions and I went for lodg-
ing to a monastery of Franciscan nuns, with a lady, who had
founded it and lived in it, named Dona Leonor Mascarenas.5 She
had been the king's governess and is a very good servant of our
Lord. I had lodged there at other times when on certain occasions
I had to pass by, and she always showed me much kindness.
6. This lady told me she was happy I had come at that time
because a hermit was there who eagerly desired to meet me6 and
that it seemed to her the life he and his companions were living
was very similar to that of our rule. The thought came to me
that if this were so it would be a good thing since I had only two
friars, and so I begged her to arrange for us to speak. He was stay-
ing in a room given him by this lady. He was there with another
young brother named Fray Juan de la Miseria, a great servant of
The Foundations— Chapter 1 7
181
God and very simple with regard to the things of the world.7
While we were speaking together, this hermit told me that he
wanted to go to Rome.
7. Before going on, I want to mention what I know about this
Father, named Mariano de San Benito. He was Italian, a doc-
tor, and very intelligent and talented. While he was living as the
supervisor of the entire household of the queen of Poland, our
Lord called him to leave all so as to better obtain his salvation.
He had not been inclined to marry, but was a knight of the Or-
der of St. John of Jerusalem. He had undergone some trials in
which he had been falsely accused of being involved in a man's
death and thus put in prison for two years. While there, he
didn't want to be defended by any learned man or anyone else,
but only by God and His justice, for there were witnesses who
said that he had ordered them to kill the man. Resembling the
old men in the story about Saint Susanna,8 when each was asked
where the accused was at the time, one said that he was seated
on a bed; and the other, at a window. In the end they confessed
to having calumniated him. And he assured me that he had
spent much money to free them so that they would not be pun-
ished, and that certain information had come into his posses-
sion against the one who had caused him the trouble and that he
likewise did as much as he could not to do that one any harm.
8. Through these and other virtues— for he is a clean-living
and chaste man, unwilling to have any dealings with women—
he must have merited from our Lord knowledge of what the
world is so that he would strive to withdraw from it. And thus he
began to think about which religious order to join. And, from
what he told me, in thinking about the different orders, he
found in each one some difficulty for his temperament. He
learned that near Seville some hermits had come together to live
in a desert called El Tardon, under a very holy man, named
Padre Mateo,9 whom they took as their superior. Each one lived
apart in a cell. They did not recite the divine office together but
did gather in an oratory for Mass. They had no fixed income;
neither did they want to receive alms, nor did they. But they
supported themselves by the work of their hands, and each one
ate alone and very poorly. When I heard about this, it seemed
182
St. Teresa of Avila
to me to be a living picture of the life of our own holy fathers.
Father Mariano had spent eight years in this manner of life.
When the holy Council of Trent came and took away authoriza-
tion for the eremitical life, he wanted to go to Rome to seek per-
mission that they might continue as they were, and this was his
intention when I spoke to him.10
9 . Well now, when he told me the manner of his life, I showed
him our primitive rule and told him that without so much trou-
ble he could observe all of that since his life was the same as that
prescribed in the rule, especially living by the work of one's
hands. He was very much inclined to the latter and told me that
the world was lost because of greed and that this was why reli-
gious life was not valued. Since I felt the same, we quickly
agreed in this and even in everything else. When I gave him rea-
sons about how much he could serve God in this habit, he told
me that he would think over the matter that night. I already saw
that he was nearly decided, and I understood that what I had
learned in prayer (that I was going to Pastrana for more than
the foundation of a monastery of nuns)11 referred to this. The
thought gave me the greatest happiness since it seemed to me
that the Lord would be much served if this hermit were to enter
the order. He was so moved that night by His Majesty, who
desired this, that the next day he called for me, now very deter-
mined and even very surprised to see how quickly he himself had
changed, especially through the instrumentality of a woman,
for even now he sometimes mentions this to me, as though what
I said were the cause and not the Lord who can change hearts.
10. Great are God's judgments. Mariano had gone many
years without knowing what to decide concerning his state, for
the life he had been living was not that of a religious, since the
hermits did not make vows or take on any obligation other than
to remain there in solitude. And God quickly moved him and
revealed how much His Majesty would be served by him in this
state and the need for him in order to carry on what had been
begun. For he has helped a great deal, and up to now it has cost
him many trials. And by what can be seen from the opposition
the followers of this primitive rule now experience,12 the work
will cost him more until it is firmly established. For through his
The Foundations — Chapter 1 7
183
talent, intelligence, and good life he is influential with many
persons who favor and defend us.
1 1 . Well then, he told me how Ruy Gomez had given him a
good hermitage and site in Pastrana, the place where I was go-
ing, for a settlement of hermits and that he wanted to accept it
for this order and receive the habit. I thanked him and praised
our Lord greatly. For of the two monasteries for which our Most
Reverend Father General had sent permission, only one had
been founded. 13 From there I sent a message to the two Fathers
that were mentioned, the present provincial and the previous
one,14 begging them to give me permission since the monastery
could not be founded without their consent. And I wrote to the
bishop of Avila, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, who was very favor-
able toward us, to try to get them to grant it.
12 . God was pleased that they look favorably on my request.
It seemed to them that in a place so isolated the foundation
could do them little harm. Mariano gave me his word that he
would go there when the permission came. Thus, I was extremely
happy. Once there, I met the princess and the prince, Ruy
Gomez, who received me very cordially. They gave us a separate
apartment, where we stayed longer than I had expected. For the
house where we were to live was so small that the princess had
ordered much of it to be torn down and many things built anew,
but not the walls.
13. I spent three months15 there during which many trials
were suffered, since the princess asked me to do things that were
not fitting for our form of religious life, and so I decided, rather
than make the foundation, to leave. The prince, Ruy Gomez,
with both his common sense, which was very great, and his rea-
sonableness, got his wife to agree with us. And I bore with some
things because I was more desirous that the monastery of friars
be founded than that of the nuns. I knew how important this
was, and the importance afterward became clear.
14. At this time Mariano with his companion (the two hermits
that were mentioned)16 came, and when the permission arrived,
the prince and princess were glad to agree that the hermitage
they had given him for hermits be used by discalced friars. I sent
184
St. Teresa of Avila
for Father Fray Antonio de Jesus, who was the first discalced
and was in Mancera so that he might get the foundation started.
I made habits and white mantles and did all I could so that they
might take the habit at once.
15. At this time I had sent to Medina del Campo for more
nuns, for I had brought only two with me. There was a Father in
Medina, about middle-aged, not too old, not too young, and a
very good preacher, whose name was Baltasar de Jesus.17 Since
he knew that the monastery was being founded, he came with
the nuns and desired to become a discalced. This he did after he
arrived, and when he told me, I praised God. He gave the habit
to Father Mariano and his companion. Both of them became
lay brothers, for Father Mariano did not want to become a
priest, but wanted to be the least of all; nor could I convince
him otherwise. Afterward, by order of our Most Reverend
Father General, he was ordained a priest. 18 Once the two mon-
asteries were established and Father Fray Antonio de Jesus had
come, novices began to enter, of whom I shall give some exam-
ples later on. And they began to serve our Lord so authentically
that, if He be pleased, someone more capable than I of telling
about it, will put it in writing. For such a task, I would fall short.
16. As for the nuns, the monastery there received much
kindness from the prince and princess. And the princess favored
them and treated them well until the prince, Ruy Gomez,
died. 19 Tempted by the devil, or perhaps because the Lord per-
mitted it— His Majesty knows why— the princess in the intense
emotion felt from her husband's death entered to be a nun.
With the affliction she was experiencing, the practices of enclo-
sure to which she was not accustomed could only displease her,
and because of the holy Council the prioress could not give the
liberties the princess wanted.
17. The princess came to dislike both the prioress and all the
rest of the nuns along with her. Such was her dislike that even
after she discarded the habit and lived in her own house she
caused them trouble. And the poor nuns were so disturbed that
I strove in every way I could, begging the superiors, to move the
monastery from there and found one in Segovia. As will be said
later,20 they did move to Segovia, and left behind all that the
The Foundations— Chapter 18
185
princess had given them, but brought along some nuns she had
ordered them to accept without any dowry. The beds and other
little things that the nuns had brought there with them they also
took along. Their departure left the townspeople very sorry. As
for me, seeing the nuns in peace left me with the greatest happi-
ness in the world. For I was very well informed that they were in
no way at fault for the displeasure of the princess. On the con-
trary, they served her as much when she had the habit as they
did before she received it. The only occasion for her displeasure
was the one I mentioned21 plus the hardship both she and the
servant she had brought with her experienced. For, from what is
known, she was entirely at fault. In sum, the Lord permitted it.
He must have seen that it was not proper for that monastery to
be there, for His judgments are great and beyond all our under-
standing. I, on my own account, would not dare do anything
without consulting learned and holy persons.
Chapter 18
Treats of the foundation of the monastery of St. Joseph in Sala-
manca in the year 1570. Deals with some important counsels for
prioresses.
AFTER THESE TWO FOUNDATIONS WERE MADE, I returned tO
the city of Toledo, where I remained some months until
the house, which I mentioned, was bought and everything was
left in order.1 While I was engaged in these things, a rector of
the Society of Jesus wrote me from Salamanca, telling me that it
would be very good to have one of these monasteries there, giv-
ing me reasons for this.2 But since the town was very poor, I re-
sisted founding a monastery there in poverty.3 In considering
that Avila is just as poor, and the monastery there is never in
want, nor do I believe that God will fail those who serve Him, if
they live as moderately as we do, and that the nuns are so few
and help themselves through the labor of their hands, I decided to
make the foundation. And going from Toledo to Avila, I sought
there to obtain permission from the bishop who was then ... 4
Since the Father Rector had informed him about our order and
186
St. Teresa of Avila
that the foundation would render service to God, he responded
very favorably and gave the permission without delay.
2. It seemed to me that once I had permission from the or-
dinary, the monastery was as much as founded, so easy did the
rest seem to me. Thus, I immediately sought to rent a house that
a lady, whom I knew,5 would let me have. But this was a diffi-
cult thing to do because the time was not the proper one for
renting and the student occupants agreed to leave only when
the new occupants arrived. They did not know who the new
ones would be, for I took the greatest care so that nothing would
be known until I took possession of the foundation. I already
have experience of what the devil stirs up to hinder one of these
monasteries. And although with this one God, desiring it to be
founded, did not allow him to cause trouble in the beginning,
the trials and contradictions were so great afterward that they
are still not completely overcome — and some years have passed
between the time it was founded and my writing this account.6
Thus, I believe that God is served very much in it since the devil
cannot bear it.
3. Well now, having obtained the permission and being cer-
tain of a house to rent, I left for Salamanca. I trusted in the mercy
of God because there wasn't a person there who could in any
way help me with the great deal that had to be done in order to
make the proper adaptations in the house. For the sake of se-
crecy, I took with me only one other nun as companion,7 for I
found this to be better than bringing the nuns before taking
possession. I had learned from experience through what had
happened to me in Medina del Campo; there I got myself into
much trouble.8 Thus, if there were some obstacle, I could un-
dergo the trial alone, with no one other than the one required
companion. We arrived on the vigil of All Saints.9 The previous
night we had travelled a good deal before coming to a place to
sleep. The weather was cold; and I, very sick.
4. I am not recording in these foundations the great hard-
ships endured in the traveling: the cold, the heat, the snow
(once it didn't stop snowing the whole day); sometimes getting
lost, and at other times, being very sick and having a fever (for,
glory to God, I usually have poor health). But I saw clearly that
The Foundations — Chapter 18
187
our Lord was giving me strength. It happened to me at times
when a foundation was being planned that I would be so sick
and have so many pains that I would get very anxious. It seemed
to me that I wasn't even able to remain in my cell without lying
down. I would turn to our Lord, complain to His Majesty, and
ask how He desired me to do what I couldn't. Afterward, al-
though I still felt the hardship, His Majesty gave me strength,
and with the fervor and solicitude he gave, it seems I forgot
about myself.
5 . From what I now remember, fear of the hardship involved
never prevented me from making a foundation even though I
felt strong aversion to the traveling, especially the long journeys.
But once we got started, the journey seemed easy to me, and I
considered for whose service it was made and reflected that in
that house the Lord would be praised and the Blessed Sacrament
reserved. This is a special consolation for me: to see one more
church, particularly when I recall the many that the Lutherans
are suppressing. I don't know what trials, however great, should
be feared if in exchange something so good comes about for
Christianity. For although we often do not take note, it ought to
be a great consolation for us that Jesus Christ, true God and true
man, is present in the most Blessed Sacrament in many places.
Certainly I am very often consoled in the choir when I see these
very pure souls praising God, for one cannot help but recognize
their holiness in many things, seeing their obedience, the joy so
much enclosure and solitude give them, and their happiness
when some opportunities for mortification come along. In
places where the Lord gives the prioress more grace in exercis-
ing them in mortification, I see greater happiness. And the
result is that the prioresses tire more easily in thus exercising
them than these souls do in obeying, for never in this matter of
mortification do the desires of these nuns cease.
6. Although this subject is foreign to the one concerning the
foundation that I began discussing, some things are coming to
my mind now about this matter of mortification. Perhaps,
daughters, they will be important for the prioresses, and so lest I
forget I'll mention them now. For since the prioresses have dif-
ferent talents and virtues, they seek to lead their nuns along
188
St. Teresa of Avila
their own way. The one who is very mortified thinks that
anything she commands is easy to submit to, as it would be for
her, but perhaps it would be very harmful for the nun to whom
she gives the orders. We must be careful about this. If for our-
selves something would be harsh, we must not order others to do
it. Discretion is an important aspect of government, and very
necessary in these houses. I would say much more necessary
than in other houses, for the account one must render concern-
ing one's subjects is greater. This applies in interior as well as ex-
terior matters.
Other prioresses, who are very spiritual, would like to reduce
everything to prayer; in sum, the Lord leads souls by different
paths. But the prioresses must remember that they are not there
for the purpose of choosing a path for others according to their
own liking but so as to lead subjects by the path of the rule and
constitutions even though they themselves might desire and feel
urged to do something else.
7 . Once I was living in one of these houses with a prioress who
was fond of penance; she led all the others along this path. She
once had the entire community take the discipline while re-
citing the seven penitential psalms with their accompanying
prayers, and things of this sort. Thus it happens that if a prior-
ess is absorbed in prayer, even though the hour is not one set
apart for prayer, but after Matins, she keeps the whole commu-
nity there even though it would be much better if the Sisters
went to bed. If, as I say, she is fond of mortification, everyone
has to follow suit, and these little sheep of the Virgin keep silent
like little lambs; as for me, certainly, it causes much devotion,
and embarrassment, and, at times, much temptation. The Sis-
ters don't understand, for they are all absorbed in God. But I
fear for their health and would want them to observe the rule,
for with that there is plenty to do; and the rest should be done
with gentleness. This is especially important in what pertains to
mortification. For love of our Lord, the prioresses should be at-
tentive in this, for discretion and knowledge of each one's talents
are very important in these matters. If the prioresses are not
carefully attentive, they will do the nuns much harm and leave
them disturbed instead of helping them.
The Foundations — Chapter 18
189
8. They must reflect that this mortification is not a matter of
obligation; this is the first thing they must consider. Although
mortification is very necessary in order that the soul gain free-
dom and high perfection, it is not accomplished in a short time.
Rather, little by little, the prioress should help each one accord-
ing to the spirituality and amount of intelligence God gives. It
might seem to prioresses that intelligence is not necessary for
this mortification, but they are mistaken. For with some nuns,
much time will pass before they come to understand perfection
and even the spirit of our rule (and perhaps they will afterward
be the holiest), for they will not know when it is good to excuse
oneself, and when not, or other trifling matters that if they un-
derstood they would perhaps carry out with ease. And such
nuns do not completely understand, nor does it seem to them
that these are matters pertaining to perfection, which is worse.
9. There is a nun in one of these houses who is among the
best servants of God in them, insofar as I can tell. She has a deep
spirituality, receives favors from His Majesty, and has a spirit of
penance and humility; yet, she does not completely understand
some points in the constitutions. The accusation of faults in
chapter10 seems to her uncharitable, and she wonders how any-
one can say anything against the Sisters and similar things and
says that she could say some things against some Sisters who are
very good servants of God; and in other matters I see that she is
ahead of those who understand this well. The prioress must not
then think that she understands a soul at once. Let her leave this
to God, for it is He alone who can understand it. Rather, the
prioress should strive to guide each nun along the way His Maj-
esty is leading that one, provided that the nun is not failing in
obedience or in the more essential matters of the rule and con-
stitutions. That virgin martyr, from the eleven thousand, who
hid herself did not fail to be a saint; on the contrary, by coming
alone afterward to offer herself to be martyred, she perhaps suf-
fered more than the rest of the virgins.11
10. Now, then, let us return to the subject of mortification.
The prioress may ask something of a nun in order to mortify
her, and although it is a little thing it may be a heavy burden to
the nun. And even though the Sister does it, she is left so dis-
190
St. Teresa of Avila
turbed and tempted that it would have been better had she not
been told to do it; I mean, to do it right away. The prioress
should take heed not to try to make such a one perfect by force
but should allow her to proceed gradually until the Lord does
the work in her. For that which is done to help her advance
shouldn't be for her a cause of disturbance and spiritual dis-
tress, which is a very terrible thing, for she will be a very good
nun without that perfection. Observing the others, she will grad-
ually do as they do, as we have seen. And if she doesn't, she will
be saved without this virtue of mortification. For I know one of
these nuns who all her life practiced great virtue, and for some
years now has served our Lord in many ways, and she often ex-
periences some feelings and imperfections that she cannot do
anything about, and she complained about them to me and is
aware of them. I think that God allows her to fall into these sin-
less faults (for there is no sin in them) so that she might humble
herself and realize that she is not totally perfect.
Therefore, some nuns will suffer great mortifications, and
the greater the mortifications they are ordered to perform the
more they will enjoy them because the Lord has given them the
strength of soul to surrender their wills. Others will not suffer
even little ones; and to impose mortifications on them would be
comparable to loading a child down with two sacks of wheat.
Not only will the child be unable to carry them, but he will bow
under the weight and fall to the ground. Therefore, my daugh-
ters—I am speaking with prioresses — pardon me, for the things
I have seen that happen to some make me to go on at greater
length in this matter.
11. Another counsel I give you, and it is a very important
one. Do not give any order that could be a sin (even venial) if
carried out, and not even if you do so just to test obedience. (I've
heard that some things would have involved mortal sin if done.)
At least the nuns, because of their innocence perhaps, are with-
out blame; but not the prioress, beause there is no order she
gives that they will not carry out immediately. And since they
hear and read about what the saints of the desert did, every-
thing seems to them well done if ordered by obedience, at least
in their own case. And also let subjects be advised that anything
The Foundations— Chapter 18
191
that would be a mortal sin when not ordered by the superior
would still be one if the superior orders it, unless the matter in-
volves omitting Mass or the Church fast, or things like that, in
which the prioress may have reasons for dispensing. But some-
thing like jumping into the well and things of that sort are
wrong to do. No one should think that God must work miracles,
as He did with the saints; there are many other things in which
perfect obedience may be practiced.
12. All the mortification in which these dangers are not pres-
ent, I praise. Once a Sister in Malagon asked permission to take
a discipline, and the prioress (she must have been asked more
than once) answered: "Don't bother me." Since the nun per-
sisted, the prioress said: "Go on, keep walking; don't bother
me." With great simplicity, the nun went walking for several
hours until another Sister asked her why she was walking so
much, or something like that. And she replied that she had
been ordered to do so. When the bell was rung for Matins and
the prioress asked where she was, the other nun told her what
had taken place.
13. Thus it's necessary, as I have mentioned at another time,
that the prioresses be careful about what they do with souls that
they see are so obedient. For another Sister showed a nun one of
those very large worms, telling her to observe how pretty it was.
The prioress said to the nun jokingly, well, let Sister eat it. The
Sister went and fried it very well. The cook asked her why she
was frying it. She told her she was frying it so that she could eat
it, and this she wanted to do. And the prioress, being very care-
less, could have done her much harm. I find I'm happier that
they go to excess in matters of obedience because I am particu-
larly devoted to this virtue, and so I have put down all I could so
that the nuns might possess it. But it would profit me little to do
so if the Lord through His supreme mercy had not given the
grace for all in general to be inclined toward this virtue. May it
please His Majesty to continue to give this grace long into the
future. Amen.
192
St. Teresa of Avila
Chapter 19
Continues the account of the foundation of the monastery of St.
Joseph in the city of Salamanca.
I have digressed much. When something presents itself that
by the Lord's will I come to understand through experience,
it bothers me not to give advice about it. It could be that what I
think about the matter is worthwhile. Always inquire, daugh-
ters, from those who are learned, for through them you will
learn how to advance along the way of perfection with discre-
tion and in truth. If prioresses want to fulfill their duties well,
they have great need to go to confession to a learned man (and if
they don't, they will make many mistakes in the interests of
sanctity); and they should strive also that their nuns confess to a
learned man.
2. Well, on the vigil of All Saints, in the year that was men-
tioned,1 we arrived at noon in the city of Salamanca. From an
inn I sought to find out through a good man there if the house
was free. He was a great servant of God, named Nicolas Gutier-
rez,2 to whom I had entrusted the task of making sure that it
would be unoccupied. This man had won from His Majesty
through his good life a great peace and happiness in the midst of
trials, for he had undergone many trials. Having once enjoyed
great prosperity, he was left very poor, but he bore the poverty
with as much joy as he did the riches. The good man worked
very hard for this foundation, with much dedication and will-
ingness. When he came, he told me that the house was occu-
pied, that he hadn't been able to get the students to leave. I told
him how important it was that they vacate immediately, before
my presence in that city became known, for I am always afraid
lest some obstacle arise, as I have said.3 He went to the one who
owned the house and insisted so much that it was vacated that
afternoon. When it was almost night, we entered.
3. It was the first monastery I founded without reserving the
Blessed Sacrament, for I had previously thought that a founda-
tion was not official until the Blessed Sacrament was reserved.
And I had now learned that this wasn't necessary. That was a
The Foundations— Chapter 19
193
great consolation to me, for the house was in bad condition be-
cause of those students who had previously occupied it. Since
they must not have had a gift for cleanliness, the whole house
was in such a state that we did no small amount of work that
night. The next morning the first Mass was said, and I arranged
for more nuns to come from Medina del Campo.4 My compan-
ion and I spent the night of All Saints alone. I tell you, daugh-
ters, I have to laugh when I recall the fear of my companion,
who was Maria del Sacramento, a nun older than I and a great
servant of God.5
4. The house was very large, was in a mess, and had many
garrets. My companion couldn't get the students out of her
mind, thinking that since they were so angry for having had to
leave the house, one of them may have hidden there. They
could have done this very easily, for there were many possibili-
ties. We locked ourselves in a room where there was some straw,
which was the first thing I provided for the founding of the
house, because in having straw we would have a bed. We slept
there that night with two borrowed blankets. The next day some
nuns that were nearby, who we thought would be very dis-
pleased, lent us furnishings for our companions, who were to
come, and sent us alms.6 Their monastery was called St. Isabel's,
and all the time we were there they gave us alms and did many
favors for us.
5. Once my companion was locked in that room, it seems she
calmed down a little with regard to the students, although she
didn't do anything but look about from side to side, still fearful.
And the devil must have helped by bringing to her mind thoughts
about the danger. Her thoughts then began to disturb me, for
with my weak heart, not much was needed. I asked her why she
was looking around since no one could get in there. She an-
swered: "Mother, I was wondering what would happen if I were
to die now; what would you do here all alone?" If that had hap-
pened it would have been a hard thing for me to take. And I be-
gan to think a little about it and even become afraid. Because as
for dead bodies, although I am not afraid of them, my heart
gets weak even when I'm not alone. And since the tolling of the
bells helped matters along, for, as I said, it was the vigil of All
194
St. Teresa of Avila
Souls,7 the devil had a good means of making us squander our
thoughts on trifles. When he sees that one has no fear of him, he
looks for other devices. I said to her: "Sister, when this happens,
I'll think about what to do; now, let me sleep." Since we had just
spent two bad nights, sleep came soon and took away our fears.
The next day more nuns arrived, and with them present, the
fears left.
6. The monastery was in this house for about three years— I
don't recall whether or not it was four, for I don't remember
well since they sent me to the Incarnation in Avila.8 I never
would, or did, leave any monastery until it was in fit condition,
had a spirit of recollection, and was adapted according to my
wishes. In this matter God greatly favors me, for when there was
question of work to be done I enjoyed being the first. And as
though I were to live in that house for the rest of my life, I sought
to obtain everything, even the smallest thing that would
contribute to the tranquility suitable for the life, and so it gave
me great happiness to see that everything was in good shape. I
very much regretted to see what these Sisters suffered, although
not from a lack of sustenance (I took care of this from where I
was, for the house was not located in a place suitable for receiv-
ing alms), but from a location that was unhealthy because of the
humidity and cold. Since it was so large a house it could not be
repaired. And, what was worse, the Blessed Sacrament was not
reserved, which is a great affliction when so much enclosure is
practiced. The Sisters were not unhappy but bore everything
with a joy that moved one to praise God. Some told me that they
thought it would be an imperfection to desire a house, that they
were as happy there as they would be if they had the Blessed
Sacrament.
7. Well, when the superior9 saw their perfection and the trial
they were undergoing, he was moved with pity and ordered me
to come from the Incarnation. They had already reached an
agreement with a gentleman there who was going to sell them a
house.10 But it was in such condition that they would have had
to spend a thousand ducats before entering it. It belonged to an
entailed estate, but the gentleman decided to allow us both to
occupy it without first obtaining permission from the king and
The Foundations — Chapter 19
195
to put up partition walls. I got Father Julian de Avila,11 who is
the one I said came with me on these foundations, and we looked
at the house so as to decide what had to be done, for experience
has taught me much about these things.
8. We went in August and hurried as much as we could. The
nuns were able to stay where they were until the feast of St.
Michael, the time when houses were rented there. But the house
was still far from being finished. Since we had not rented for an-
other year, the one in which we were staying had another renter
already. We were in a great hurry. The whitewashing of the
church was about finished. The gentleman who had sold us the
house was not there. Some persons who wished us well told us
that we had done wrong in coming so soon, but where there is
need one takes poorly any advice that doesn't provide some
help.
9. We moved on the eve of St. Michael, a little before dawn.
The news had already been spread that the Blessed Sacrament
would be reserved on the feast of St. Michael and that a sermon
would be preached.12 Our Lord was pleased that on the after-
noon of the day we moved it rained so hard that it was most dif-
ficult to bring the things we needed. The chapel had been newly
fixed up, but the roof was so poorly tiled the rain came through
most of it. I tell you, daughters, I felt very imperfect that day.
Since the news had already been spread about, I didn't know
what to do. I became so distressed that I said to the Lord, almost
complaining, that either He not order me to get involved in re-
pair works or He help me in this need. The good man Nicolas
Gutierrez, with his equanimity, as though nothing had hap-
pened, told me very meekly not to be disturbed, that God would
provide a remedy. And so it happened. On the feast of St. Mi-
chael, when it was time for the people to come, the sun began to
shine, which filled me with devotion, and I saw how much bet-
ter that blessed man had done by trusting in our Lord than I
with my disturbance.
10. There were many people, and there was music, and the
Blessed Sacrament was reserved with great solemnity. Since this
house is in a good location, the people began to know about it
and be devoted to it. In particular, the countess of Monterrey,
196
St. Teresa of Avila
Dona Maria Pimentel, 13 favored us, as well as a lady, whose hus-
band was the magistrate there, whose name was Dona Mariana.
The very next day, as though to temper our happiness in having
the Blessed Sacrament, the gentleman to whom the house be-
longed came. He was so furious that I didn't know what to do
with him. And the devil made sure that he couldn't be reasoned
with, for we had fulfilled all that we had agreed upon with him.
There was little use in trying to explain to him. When some
other persons spoke to him, he was a little appeased; but after-
ward he changed his mind again. I had already decided to leave
the house. He didn't want this either, because he wanted to be
given the money at once. His wife to whom the house belonged
had desired to sell it in order to provide for two daughters, and
this was the reason given in asking for the license to sell it. The
money had already been deposited with a person chosen by the
husband.
1 1 . The fact is that even though this happened more than
three years ago, the purchase of the house is not finalized, nor
do I know whether the monastery will remain there; and this is
why I have mentioned these things.14
12. What I do know is that in none of the monasteries of the
primitive rule that up to now the Lord has founded did the nuns
come near to suffering trials as great as these. Through the mercy
of God, those who are there are so good, for they bear every-
thing happily. May it please His Majesty to lead them on, for
whether or not they have a good house matters little. Rather, it
gives us great pleasure to find we are in a house that we can be
thrown out of, for we remember how the Lord of the world
didn't have any. It has happened to us at times in these founda-
tions that we were in a house that we didn't own, and the truth is
that I never saw a nun distressed about that. May it please His
Majesty that through His infinite goodness and mercy we will
not be in want of the eternal dwelling places, amen, amen.
The Foundations— Chapter 20
197
Chapter 20
Treats of the foundation of the monastery, Our Lady of the An-
nunciation, in Alba de Tormes. It was made in the year 1571.
Two months had not yet passed since the feast of All Saints
(the day on which possession was taken of the house in
Salamanca) when I received an urgent request from the admin-
istrator for the duke of Alba and his wife that a monastery be
founded in the town of Alba. I was not too keen about the idea
because the town was a small one, which would make it neces-
sary for us to have an income, and my inclination was not to
have one. Father Master Fray Domingo Banez (who had been
my confessor, whom I consulted when beginning these founda-
tions) happened to be in Salamanca, and he reprimanded me
and told me that since the Council had given permission it
would not be right to forego the foundation of a monastery be-
cause of a need for an income.1 He said further that I failed to
understand that whether the monastery had an income or not
made little difference in regard to nuns being poor and very
perfect.
Before I say more, I shall mention who the foundress was and
how the Lord moved her to make the foundation.
2. The foundress of the monastery, Our Lady of the Annun-
ciation, was Teresa de Layz, a daughter of noble parents, hidal-
gos of pure blood.2 Since her parents were not as rich as would
be expected considering the nobility of their lineage, they had
their house in a place called Tordillos, which is two leagues
from the said town of Alba. It is a great pity that the world is so
influenced by vanity that people would prefer to remain in thes *
little villages where there is a lack of Christian doctrine and o f
many other things that are means to the enlightenment of souls,
than to fail even one iota in those punctilios that accompany
what they call honor. Since the parents already had four daugh-
ters when Teresa de Layz was born, they were much distressed
to see that she also was a daughter.
3. Certainly, it is something to be much wept over that
human beings do not know what is best for them and are totally
198
St. Teresa of Avila
ignorant of the judgments of God and of the great blessings that
can come to them through daughters or of the great sufferings
that can come from sons. It doesn't seem they want to leave this
matter to the One who creates their children and understands
everything, but they kill themselves over what should be making
them happy. As people whose faith is asleep, they do not reflect
or recall that it is God who thus ordains, and so they do not leave
everything in His hands. And being so blind that they do not do
this, they suffer great ignorance in not understanding how little
these afflictions help them. Oh, God help me! How differently
will we understand these ignorances on the day when the truth
about all things shall be understood. And how many fathers and
mothers will be seen going to hell because they had sons and also
how many will be seen in heaven because of their daughters.
4. Well, to return to what I was saying, things came to the
point that on the third day after her birth they left their baby
girl alone and forgot about her for the entire day, from morning
until night, as though she mattered little to them. One thing
they had done well was to have her baptized by a priest as soon
as she was born. When at night, a woman came who was taking
care of the baby and knew what was going on, she hastened to
see if the child was dead. Some other persons who had gone
there to visit the mother were also witnesses to what I shall now
tell. Weeping, the woman took the baby into her arms and com-
plaining of the cruelty said: "How is it, my daughter, are you
not a Christian? " The baby girl lifted her head and answered,
"Yes, I am," and spoke no more until reaching that age at which
all children begin to speak. Those who heard her were amazed,
and her mother began to love and cherish her from then on, and
she often said that she would like to live to see what God would
do with this child. She reared her daughter in keeping with high
moral standards and taught her everything about virtue.
5 . When the time came that her parents wanted her to marry,
she refused, nor did she have any desire at all to get married.
She happened to find out that Francisco Velazquez, now her
husband, who is also the founder of this house, was seeking her.
In hearing his name, she decided to marry if she could marry
him, never having seen him in her life. But His Majesty saw that
The Foundations— Chapter 20
199
this was fitting so that the good work both of them did in order
to serve Him could be done. Besides being a virtuous and rich
man, Francisco Velazquez loves his wife so much that he seeks to
please her in everything. And rightly so, for all that one can seek
in a married woman the Lord gave to him in great abundance.
Along with the diligent care she takes of her household, her
goodness is so great that when her husband brought her to his
native town of Alba and the duke's housing administrators hap-
pened to arrange that lodging be given in her house to a young
gentleman, she was very upset and began to abhor the town.
For being youthful and attractive in appearance, she could
have been the victim of some evil deed since the devil began to
put bad thoughts in that gentleman's mind.
6. Aware of this, but without saying anything to her hus-
band, she asked him to take her away from there. He did so and
brought her to Salamanca where she lived very happily, sur-
rounded by much of the world's goods, since he held a position
that made others want to please and flatter him.3 They had but
one sorrow, that God had not given them children. That He
might give them, she offered many devotions and prayers. And
she never begged the Lord for anything else but that He give her
offspring so that after her death her children could continue the
praise of His Majesty, for it seemed to her unfortunate that this
praise would end with her and that there would be no one after
her days to praise Him. And she told me that there wasn't any
other desire that came to her mind. And she is a woman who is
so truthful and good a Christian and virtuous, as I have said,
that it often makes me praise our Lord to see her works and her
great desires never to fail to use her time well and to please Him
always.
7. Well, then, living many years with this desire and recom-
mending it to St. Andrew, who, she was informed, is a patron of
such causes, and after many other devotions that she had of-
fered, she was told one night while lying down: "Do not desire
children, for you will be condemned." She was left frightened
and fearful. But not for this reason did the desire leave her, for
it seemed to her that since her purpose was so good there would
200
St. Teresa of Avila
be no reason for her to be condemned. So she continued to beg
our Lord. Especially, she carried out a particular devotion to St.
Andrew. Once, while experiencing this desire, though she doesn't
know whether she was awake or asleep (whatever may be the
case, it is clear that the vision was true from what followed), it
seemed to her that she was in a house where on the patio beneath
the gallery was a well. And she saw in that place a green mead-
ow with white flowers, so beautiful she wouldn't be able to de-
scribe what she saw. Near the well, St. Andrew appeared in the
form of a very venerable and handsome person, for it gave her
great delight to look on him, and he said to her: "These are
children other than those you desire." She did not want the
great consolation she felt in that place to end; but it did not last.
And she understood clearly that the vision was of St. Andrew,
without anyone telling her; and also that our Lord willed that
she found a monastery. Hence it can be understood that the vi-
sion was an intellectual as well as an imaginative one, nor could
it have been either a whim or an illusion caused by the devil.
8. First, the vision was not a whim; this can be deduced
from its great effect, for from that point on she never more de-
sired children. She remained so convinced in her heart that this
was God's will that she no longer asked for or desired them.
Thus she began to think about the way in which she could do
what the Lord wanted. Nor was it an illusion caused by the dev-
il. This can be discerned from the fact that a monastery is now
founded where our Lord is much served, for the devil of himself
cannot do good. In addition, this took place more than six years
before the monastery was founded, and the devil cannot know
the future.
9. Very surprised by this vision, she told her husband that
since God did not desire to give them children they should
found a monastery of nuns. Being so good and loving her so
much, her husband was happy with the idea and began to con-
sider where they might found one. She wanted it in the town
where she had been born. He put up legitimate objections to
convince her that her town would not be a good place for it.
1 0 . While they were discussing this, the duchess of Alba called
for him. When he arrived, she ordered him to return to Alba to
The Foundations — Chapter 20
201
undertake duties in her house, and he accepted the office even
though it was a less important one than the office he had held in
Salamanca.4 When his wife heard about it, she was very dis-
tressed because, as I said, she abhorred Alba. Being assured by
her husband that they would not accept guests any more, she was
somewhat appeased; although she was still very troubled since
Salamanca was more to her liking. He bought a house and sent
for her. She came with great weariness and felt wearier when she
saw the house. For although the location was very good and the
property extensive, the house did not have enough rooms; thus
she was very troubled that night. The next morning, when she
walked onto the patio, she saw on the same side the well where
she had seen St. Andrew. And she saw everything else, no more
nor less than what had been shown to her— I mean the place,
not the saint or the flowers or the meadow, although she did
have and still has them well imprinted in her imagination.
1 1 . When she saw these things, she became troubled and re-
solved to found the monastery there. She did this now with great
consolation and tranquility, without wanting to go somewhere
else, and they began to buy more houses nearby until they had
ample land. She was concerned about which order they would
ask, for she wanted the nuns to be few and strictly enclosed. In
discussing the matter with two religious from different orders,
who were very good and learned men, she was told by both that
it would be better to do some other good works because nuns are
usually unhappy. And she was told many other things, for since
the project saddened the devil he wanted to prevent it, and thus
he made them think that the reasons they gave her were very
sound. Since they presented so many as to why it wouldn't be
good, and the devil presented more in order to hinder it, she
became fearful and disturbed and decided not to go ahead.
This she told to her husband, and the two of them felt that since
such men had told her that it would not be good and her inten-
tion was to serve our Lord they should forget about it. Thus they
agreed to arrange for a marriage between a niece on her hus-
band's side and a nephew of hers, who was very virtuous and still
young and whom she loved very much, and give them a great
part of their estate, keeping the rest for their own spiritual well-
202
St. Teresa of Avila
being. They were both left feeling certain and serene about this
decision.
12. But since our Lord had ordained something else, their
agreement was of little benefit. In less than fifteen days, the
nephew became so seriously ill that within a very few days our
Lord brought him to Himself. She became so convinced that the
cause of her nephew's death had been her decision to set aside
what God wanted her to do, in order to leave the estate to him,
that she felt great fear. She recalled what happened to Jonah
the prophet for not having wanted to obey God,5 and it seemed
to her that God had punished her by taking away that nephew
whom she loved so much. From that day on she was determined
not to let anything make her fail to found the monastery, and her
husband was also; although they didn't know how to go about it.
It seemed to her that God had put into her heart what has now
been accomplished. Those whom she told about the monastery,
and to whom she described how she wanted it, laughed over the
matter since they thought she would not find the things she was
looking for; this was true especially of a confessor of hers, a
Franciscan friar, a distinguished man of learning. She was very
dejected.
13. At that time, this friar happened to go to a certain town
where he was told about these monasteries of Our Lady of Mt.
Carmel that were now being founded. Very well informed about
them, he returned and told her he had now discovered how she
could found the monastery she desired. He told her what had
happened and that she should try to speak with me about it.
This she did. We underwent much difficulty in trying to come
to an agreement. For in the case of monasteries founded with an
income, my goal always was that they have enough to keep the
nuns from dependence on relatives, or on anyone, and that food
and clothing and everything necessary be given to them in the
house, and that the sick be very well cared for. For when necessi-
ties are lacking, many troubles arise. In founding many monas-
teries in poverty, without an income, I never lack courage or
confidence; I am certain that God will not fail them. In found-
ing them with an income that is small, everything fails me; I
find it better that they not be founded.
The Foundations — Chapter 21
203
14. She and her husband finally became reasonable and of-
fered enough revenue to provide for the number of nuns. And
what I highly appreciated, they left their own house in order to
give it to us and moved into one that was in a dilapidated condi-
tion. The Blessed Sacrament was reserved and the foundation
was made on the feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, in the year
1571 ,6 for the glory and honor of God. In this foundation, in my
opinion, His Majesty is very much served. May it please Him to
protect it always.
15. I began to say some particular things about some of the
Sisters in these monasteries thinking that when this would be
read those now living in them would not be alive and that those
who come after would be inspired to carry on in the tradition of
such a good beginning. Afterward, it has seemed to me, there
will be someone who will tell these things better and in more de-
tail and without having the fear that I have had of giving the im-
pression of being partial.7 And so I have left out many things
considered miraculous by those who have seen or known of
them, for such things are supernatural. I have not wanted to say
anything about them or of what our Lord has been clearly seen
to do through the nuns' prayers.
In the account of the dates on which these monasteries were
founded I suspect that I am sometimes mistaken, although I try
diligently to remember.8 Since these dates are not of great im-
portance, because they can be corrected afterward, I put them
down according to what I can remember; it makes little differ-
ence if there is some error.
Treats of the foundation in Segovia of the Carmel of the glori-
ous St. foseph. It was founded on the very feast of St.foseph in
Ihave already mentioned how after I founded the monas-
teries of Salamanca and Alba and before we had our own
house in Salamanca, the Father Maestro Fray Pedro Fernandez,
Chapter 21
1574.
204
St. Teresa of Avila
who was then the apostolic commissary, ordered me to go to the
Incarnation in Avila for three years.1 I also mentioned that
when he saw the need of the nuns in Salamanca for a house, he
ordered me to go there so that they could move into one of their
own.2 One day while I was there in prayer, our Lord told me to
go to Segovia and make a foundation. This seemed impossible to
me, for I could not go unless ordered to do so, and I had learned
from the apostolic commissary, the Father Maestro Fray Pedro
Fernandez, that he did not want me to make any more founda-
tions. I also saw clearly that since the three years I was to stay in
the Incarnation were not over, he had great reason for not want-
ing any more foundations. While I was thinking about this, the
Lord told me to tell him and that He Himself would bring this
foundation about.
2. At the time, I was in Salamanca. From there I wrote to His
Paternity reminding him that he already knew I had a com-
mand from our most Reverend Father General to make a foun-
dation when I saw that there was an opportunity for doing so. I
mentioned that one of these monasteries had been accepted in
Segovia by both the city and the bishop, that if His Paternity
would give the order I would found it, that I was pointing this
out to him to satisfy my conscience, and that I would feel confi-
dent and content with whatever he ordered. I believe these were
the words, more or less, and I added that it seemed to me the
monastery would render service to God. I think, indeed, that
His Majesty wanted it, because the apostolic commissary said
immediately that I should found it, and he gave me permission.
From what I had known about him in regard to these matters, I
was very much amazed. And from Salamanca I arranged that
they rent me a house, for after the experience in Toledo and
Valladolid I had learned that it was better to rent a house and
take possession first and then look for one to buy. This was so for
many reasons, the principal one being that I didn't have a cent to
buy one with. Once the monastery was founded, the Lord would
then provide; also, a more appropriate site could be chosen.
3 . There was a lady there who had been the wife of the owner
of an entailed estate. Her name was Dona Ana de Jimena. She
had once come to see me in Avila. She was a good servant of God,
The Foundations— Chapter 21
205
and her calling had always been to be a nun. Thus after the
founding of the monastery, she and one of her daughters, who
was living a devout life, entered it. And the Lord took away the
unhappiness she had experienced both while married and as a
widow and gave her a double measure of happiness in the reli-
gious life. Both mother and daughter had always been very rec-
ollected and faithful servants of God.3
4. This good lady acquired the house and provided for every-
thing she saw we needed, both for the church and for ourselves.
As a result, I had little work to do. But there is never a founda-
tion in which there is not some trial. And the trial came in addi-
tion to the fact that I went there while suffering from a high
fever and nausea, and from interior ills of very great dryness and
darkness of soul, and from bodily complaints of many kinds, the
intensity of which lasted three months. And for the half year
that I was there, I was always sick.
5. On the feast of St. Joseph, we reserved the Blessed Sacra-
ment. Although we had permission from both the bishop and
the city, I did not want to enter except on the eve of the feast, se-
cretly, and at night. Much time had passed since the permission
had been given, but because I had been at the Incarnation and
did not have our Father General for superior, but someone else,4
I had not been able to make the foundation. The permission I
had received from the bishop of that place— when he agreed —
was in word. He gave it through a gentleman named Andres de
Jimena who was looking for a house for us. But this gentleman
didn't bother about getting the permission in writing, nor did
this seem to me to matter. I was mistaken, for when the vicar
general learned that the monastery had been founded, he came
at once, very angry, and did not allow Mass to be said any more
and wanted to take prisoner the one who said it, a discalced friar,
who came with both Father Julian de Avila and another servant
of God, who came with me, named Antonio Gaytan.5
6. This latter was a gentleman from Alba. He was called by
the Lord some years before while very much involved in the
world. He so trampled it under foot that all he thought about
was how to serve the Lord more. In the foundations that will be
dealt with from here on, mention will have to be made of him,
206
St. Teresa of A vzla
for he helped me much and did a great deal of work for me. I
have told who he is, and if I should have to tell of his virtues, I
would not finish very quickly. What mattered most to us was
that he was so mortified, for there was no servant from among
those who came with us who was as ready as he was to do all the
necessary things. He is a man of deep prayer, and God has
granted him so many favors that everything others would con-
sider a burden made him happy and was easy for him to accept.
This is the way he is in all the work that he has done for these
foundations. For it indeed seems that God called both him and
Father Julian de Avila for this purpose, although Father Julian
de Avila was with us from the first foundation. By giving me
company like this, our Lord must have desired that everything
turn out well for me. It was Father Julian's characteristic while
traveling to speak of God and to teach those who traveled with
us or whom we met, and thus in every way he served His Majesty.
7. It is only right, my daughters, that those of you who read
these foundations should know what you owe to these two (for
without any self-interest they labored so much for this good that
you enjoy, of being in these monasteries) in order that you might
recommend them to our Lord and they might receive some bene-
fit from your prayers. For if you knew the bad nights and days
they suffered, and the trials on the roads, you would do so very
willingly.
8 . The vicar general did not want to go away without leaving a
guard at the door of the church. I don't know why; it served to
frighten a little those who were there. As for me, I was never
much bothered by what happened once possession of the founda-
tion had taken place; all my fears came before. I sent for some
persons, relatives of a companion I brought from among my sis-
ters,6 who were renowned in that place that they might speak to
the vicar general and explain to him that I had permission from
the bishop. He knew this very well, as he said afterward, but he
thought we should have informed him. I believe that had we
done so, things would have been much worse. Finally, they got
him to agree to let us stay in the monastery, but he removed the
Blessed Sacrament. This didn't matter to us. We remained thus
for some months until a house was bought;7 along with it came
The Foundations — Chapter 22
207
many lawsuits. We had lawsuits with the Mercedarians and, be-
cause the house had an annuity attached to it, with the cathedral
chapter. Before this we had many difficulties with the Franciscan
friars because of a house we tried to buy near them.
9. O Jesus! What a trial it is to have to contend with many
opinions. When the litigation would seem to be over, it would
begin anew because it wasn't enough to give them what they
asked for; there was at once some other difficulty. Explained in
this way, it all seems like nothing; but going through it was
much different.
10. A nephew of the bishop did all that he could for us, for he
was the prior and canon of that church;8 and so, too, did the li-
centiate Herrera, a very great servant of God. Finally, after we
gave much money, the lawsuit came to an end. We were left
with the lawsuit of the Mercedarians, for in order to move to the
new house great secrecy was necessary. When they found out
that we were there, for we had moved a day or two before the
feast of St. Michael,9 they thought it would be good to settle for
a sum of money. The greatest suffering that these obstacles
caused me was that in no more than seven or eight days my three
years as prioress at the Incarnation were to come to an end, and
I necessarily had to be there.
1 1 . Our Lord was pleased that everything should turn out so
well that no contention remained, and within two or three days
I was at the Incarnation.10 May His name be ever blessed who
has always granted me so many favors, and may all creatures
praise Him. Amen.
Chapter 22
Treats of the foundation named after the glorious St.foseph of
the Saviour and made in the town of Beas on the feast of St.
Matthias in the year 1575. 1
When I was sent, as mentioned, from the Incarnation to
Salamanca,2 a messenger came there from the town of
Beas with letters for me from a lady in that area and from the
208
St. Teresa of Avila
curate beneficiary there. The letters contained both the offer of
a benefice from that town and requests from other persons ask-
ing me to come and found a monastery. They already had a
house; all that was needed was to go and make the foundation.
2. When questioned by me, the man recounted wonderful
things about the land, and rightly so, for it is very delightful and
has a good climate. But in considering the distance, many
leagues from here, the notion of making a foundation there
seemed to me foolish. Especially so, since I was under the orders
of the apostolic commissary, who, as I mentioned,3 was opposed
to, or at least not in favor of, my making foundations. So I
wanted to answer that I was unable, and avoid asking permis-
sion of the apostolic commissary about it. Afterward, it seemed
to me that since he was present at that time in Salamanca and I
had received the order from our Reverend Father General not to
fail to make foundations,4 it would be unwise to refuse without
getting his opinion.
3. When he saw the letters brought to me by the messenger,
he sent word that he didn't think it would be good to disappoint
them, that he had been edified by their devotion, that I should
write telling them that when they had permission from the Or-
der of Knights of that town, provisions would be made for the
foundation.5 He was certain that the council of the Order of
Knights would not give the permission, for he had known from
elsewhere that in many years no one had been able to receive
such a permission from it, and he did not want my answer to
sound like a refusal. Sometimes I think about this and how that
which our Lord wants, even though we may not want it, comes
about in such a way that without our being aware we are the in-
struments of it. In this case the instrument was the Father
Maestro Fray Pedro Fernandez, who was the commissary. And
so when they received the permission from the council, he
couldn't refuse. The foundation was made in this way.
4. This monastery of the blessed St. Joseph was founded in
the town of Beas on the feast of St. Matthias in the year 1575. It
came about for the honor and glory of God in the following way.
There was in this town a gentleman named Sancho Rodriguez
de Sandoval, of noble lineage and having many temporal posses-
The Foundations — Chapter 22
209
sions. He was married to a lady named Dona Catalina Godmez.
Among the children that our Lord gave them were two daugh-
ters, those who founded this monastery. The older6 was four-
teen when our Lord called her to His service. Up to this age she
was far from ready to leave the world; on the contrary, she had
such a high estimation of herself that all that her father sought
for her in marriages seemed of small account.
5. One day while in a room next to the one in which her
father was lying down, she happened to read on a crucifix the
inscription that is placed over the cross. Suddenly when she read
it, the Lord worked a complete change in her: She had been
thinking of a marriage that was being sought for her, which was
better than she could have hoped for, and saying to herself:
"With what little my father is content, that I become connected
with an entailed estate; I am thinking of becoming the origin of
a new line of descendants." She was not inclined toward mar-
riage, for she considered it demeaning to be subject to someone;
nor did she know where this pride came from. The Lord knew
how it could be remedied. Blessed be His mercy.
6. The moment she read the inscription, it seemed to her
that just as sunshine enters a dark room, a light came into her
soul by which she understood the truth. With this light she set
her eyes on the Lord who was on the cross shedding blood, and
she thought about how badly He was treated and of His great
humility and about how different the road of pride was that she
was following. There must have been some space of time in
which the Lord suspended her. There His Majesty gave her a
deep knowledge of her own misery, and she desired that all
might know of it. He gave her so great a desire to suffer for God
that all that the martyrs suffered she desired to suffer with
them. She experienced such profound humiliation and self-
abhorrence that were it not an offense against God, she would
have wanted to be a very dissolute woman so that all might ab-
hor her. Thus she began to despise herself with great desires for
penance, which afterward she put into effect. She at once
promised chastity and poverty and wanted to see herself so sub-
ject that she would have rejoiced to be carried off then to the
land of the Moors and remain there. All of these virtues lasted in
210
St. Teresa of Avila
her in such a way that the experience was clearly seen to be a su-
pernatural favor from our Lord, as will be said later, so that all
might praise Him.
7 . May You be blessed forever and ever, my God, for within a
moment You undo a soul and remake it. What is this, Lord? I
would want to ask here what the apostles asked You when You
cured the blindman, whether it was his parents who had sinned. 7
I mean, who could have merited so sublime a favor? She certainly
did not, for it was already mentioned what thoughts You took
away from her when You granted that favor. Oh, great are Your
judgments, Lord! You know what You are doing, but I do not
know what I am saying since Your works and judgments are in-
comprehensible. May You be ever glorified, for You have the
power to do even more. What would become of me if this were
not so? But, did the merit in some way come from her mother?
For so great was her mother's practice of Christianity that it
would be possible that Your goodness, being merciful, would
desire that she see within her lifetime this great virtue in her
daughters. Sometimes I think You grant similar favors to those
who love You, and You do them so much good that You give
them that by which they may serve You.
8. While she was in this state, such a loud noise came from
the room above that it seemed everything was falling down. It
seemed that all of that noise was coming down in the corner
where she was, and she heard some roars that lasted quite a
while. They were such that her father who although he had not
yet got up, as was mentioned,8 became so frightened he began
to tremble. As though beside himself, he took a robe and his
sword and entered there and very much shaken asked her what
that noise was. She told him that she hadn't seen anything. He
looked in the next room further and since he saw nothing told
her to go stay with her mother and informed her mother about
what he had heard and not to let their daughter be alone.
9. This indeed explains what the devil must feel when he sees
a soul already considered to be his own loosed from his power.
Since he is so hostile toward what is good for us, I am not sur-
prised that in seeing our merciful Lord grant so many favors all
at once he should become frightened and make such a show of
The Foundations— Chapter 22
211
his feeling. This was especially so, because he understood that
on account of the riches that were left in that soul he had to re-
main without any that could be considered his. For I hold that
our Lord never grants so great a favor to a person without allow-
ing others to share in it as well. She never said anything about
this. But she was left with the strongest desire to embrace
religious life and frequently sought permission from her parents
to do so. They would never give their consent.
10. After three years had gone by in which she frequently
sought permission, she began, on the feast of St. Joseph,9 to
dress in a simple manner since she saw that they did not want
her to be a religious. She told only her mother from whom it
would have been easy to obtain the permission to be a nun. As
for her father, she did not dare ask, but she went to the church
so that once the townspeople had seen her in this dress, she
could be sure her parents would not take it away. And this is
what happened, for they let the matter go. During those three
years, she observed hours of prayer and mortified herself in
every way she could, for the Lord taught her. She used to enter
the courtyard and throw water on her face and then expose it to
the sun so that because of the resulting ugly appearance her
parents would give up the idea of a marriage for her, for she was
still being urged to marry.
11. She no longer had any desire to give orders to anyone.
Since she had charge of her father's house, it happened that
when she realized that she had given orders to the housemaids,
for she couldn't do otherwise, she would wait until they were
asleep and kiss their feet, anxious because they, though better
than she, were serving her. Since during the day she was busy
with her parents, when it was time for sleep, she would spend
the whole night in prayer. Thus, she often went with so little
sleep that it would have been impossible for her to do so without
supernatural aid. The penance and the disciplines were many
because she had no one to guide her nor did she speak with any-
one. Among other things, one Lent she wore her father's coat of
mail next to her flesh. She used to go to a secluded place to pray,
where the devil heaped ridicule on her. Often she began prayer
at ten at night and was absorbed in it until daylight.
212
St. Teresa of Avila
12. She spent about four years in these exercises. Then, de-
siring that she serve Him through other greater ones the Lord
gave her most serious and painful illnesses. Thus she suffered
from continual fever, dropsy, heart trouble, and a breast tumor
which was removed. In sum, these illnesses lasted almost seven-
teen years; there were but few days in which she felt well. Five
years after she had received the above favor from God, her father
died.10 Her sister, when fourteen (one year after Dona Catalina
had made this change) also put on a simple garb, for she had
been fond of fine clothes, and began as well to practice prayer.
Her mother helped them in all their good practices and desires.
She thought that it was good for them to become occupied in a
very virtuous work, one that was far out of harmony with their
status: teaching girls needlework and reading, without any fee,
but only for the opportunity to instruct the girls in prayer and
doctrine. Their work was very fruitful because many girls were
helped, and even now the good habits these girls learned when
small are visible. The good work didn't continue for long
because the devil, saddened by it, made the parents of the little
girls feel that it was an affront for their daughters to be taught
free of charge. This along with the beginning of the illnesses
that afflicted her caused her to discontinue the work.
13. Five years after the father of these young ladies died,
their mother died. Dona Catalina had always felt called to be a
nun, but she could not get her parents' consent. She now wanted
to go away at once to be a nun. Since there was no monastery in
Beas, her relatives counselled her that since they had the suffi-
cient means they should strive to found a monastery in their own
town, that this would be of greater service to our Lord. Since the
town is a commandery of the Order of the Knights of Santiago,
permission was necessary from the council of this order, and so
she diligently sought to obtain it
14. It was so difficult to obtain that they spent four years in
which they underwent many trials and expenses; and until a pe-
tition was sent to the king himself, nothing proved helpful. And
it happened that because the difficulty became so great, her rel-
atives began to tell her that the idea was foolish and that she
should forget about it. Since she was almost always in bed with
The Foundations— Chapter 22
213
such serious illnesses, as was mentioned, they said that no mon-
astery would accept her as a nun. She answered that if within a
month our Lord gave her health they should understand there-
by that He would be served by the monastery and that she would
go to the royal court herself to obtain the license. When she said
this, it had been more than half a year that she had not got out
of bed; and for almost eight years she had hardly moved from it.
During those eight years she suffered from a continual fever,
consumption, tuberculosis, dropsy, and an inflammation of the
liver. This latter could be felt, and it so burned that even her
clothes were affected by it and her chemise scorched. This seems
incredible, and I myself inquired of the doctor about these ill-
nesses that she had at that time, for I was amazed. She also suf-
fered from gout and sciatica.
15. On the eve of the feast of St. Sebastian, which was a
Saturday,11 our Lord gave her such complete health that she
didn't know how to conceal it and prevent the miracle from be-
ing known. She says that when our Lord desired to cure her He
gave her an interior trembling that made her sister think that
her life was coming to an end. And she saw within herself the
greatest change, and in her soul, she says, she felt another
change which was beneficial to her. Because of her health she
was able to attend to the business of the monastery, and this
made her happier than did her feeling of good health. From the
beginning when God called her, He gave her an abhorrence of
self, for she made little of all. She says she was left with so power-
ful a desire to suffer that she begged God earnestly to exercise
her in suffering in every way.
16. His Majesty did not fail to fulfill this desire. During those
eight years they bled her more than five hundred times, with-
out counting the many cuppings; the body shows them clearly.
They put salt in the wounds, for the doctor said it was good for
drawing the poison from a sore on her side; they did this more
than twenty times. What is more amazing is that as soon as she
was told that the doctor prescribed one of these remedies, she
fearlessly longed for the time to come in which they would carry
it out, and she encouraged the doctors to apply the cauteries,
which were used often for a breast cancer and other purposes.
214
St. Teresa of Avila
She says that what made her want this was the desire to prove
whether or not the longings she had for martyrdom were au-
thentic.
17. Since she found that she had suddenly become well she
discussed with both her confessor and doctor the possibility of
being brought to another town so that they could say the change
of environment had caused the cure. They did not want to do
so; on the contrary, they spread the news. They had already
judged her to be incurable because the blood she was spitting up
was so putrefied that they said it contained part of the lungs.
She remained in bed for three days, not daring to get up lest the
miracle of her health become known. But since it could be no
more disguised than could her illness, the attempt to hide it was
of little benefit.
18. She told me that the previous August while begging our
Lord either to take away her great desire both to be a nun and to
found a monastery or give her the means to do so she was con-
vincingly assured that she would be well in time to go, during
Lent, to obtain the license. Thus, she says that at that time even
though the illnesses weighed more heavily on her, she never lost
the hope that our Lord was going to grant her this favor. Even
though she was anointed twice (one time she was so close to the
end that the doctor said there would be no reason to go for the
oils, that she would be dead before they arrived), she never
stopped trusting in the Lord that she would die a nun. I don't
mean that they anointed her twice between August and the feast
of St. Sebastian, but before that.
When her brothers and relatives saw the favor and miracle that
the Lord had performed in giving her health so suddenly, they
did not dare prevent her from going, although it seemed fool-
ish. She was at the royal court for three months, and in the end
the license was not given. When she presented this petition to
the king and he learned that it was for discalced Carmelite
nuns, he ordered that it be given at once.12
19. When the time came to found the monastery, it seemed
obvious that she had obtained this from God, for the superiors
accepted it even though the town was so far away and the in-
come small. What His Majesty desires cannot be set aside. Thus
The Foundations — Chapter 22
215
the nuns came at the beginning of Lent in 1575. The people of
the town received them with a solemn procession and great joy.
The happiness was so universal that even the children showed
that our Lord would be served by this work. The monastery was
founded under the patronage of St. Joseph of the Saviour this
same Lent on the feast of St. Matthias.13
20. On the same day the two sisters received the habit with
much joy. 14 The health of Dona Catalina continued to improve.
Her humility, obedience, and wish to be despised show clearly
that her desires had been authentic and for the service of our
Lord. May He be glorified forever and ever, amen.15
21. This Sister told me, among other things, that almost
twenty years ago she went to bed one night longing to find the
most perfect religious order there was on earth so as to be a nun
in it. She began to dream, in her opinion, that she was walking
along a very straight and narrow road, very dangerous in that
one could fall into some deep ravines that appeared. She met a
discalced friar. (Seeing Fray Juan de la Miseria,16 a little friar,
laybrother of the order who was in Beas while I was there, she said
that he seemed to be the same one she had seen in the dream.) He
said to her, "Come with me, sister," and brought her to a house
with a great number of nuns in which there was no other light
than that coming from some candles they were carrying. She asked
what order this was; all remained silent, and then they lifted
their veils and their faces were joyous and they were laughing.
And she declares that she saw the faces of the same Sisters she
now sees, and that the prioress took her by the hand and said to
her, "Daughter, I want you here/* and showed her the constitu-
tions and the rule. When she awoke from this sleep, she felt a
happiness that made her think she had been in heaven, and she
wrote down what she remembered from the rule. Much time
passed in which she didn't tell her confessor or anyone, and no
one knew anything about this religious order.
22. When a Father from the Society17 who knew of her desires
came there, she showed him the paper and told him that if he
found that religious order she would like to enter it. He knew of
these monasteries and told her how what was written was taken
from the rule of the order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel; although
216
St. Teresa of Avila
he didn't explain things to her so clearly, but just spoke of the
monasteries that I was founding. Thus she arranged to send me
a messenger as was mentioned.18
23 . When they brought her the reply, she was so sick that her
confessor told her to be calm and that even if she were in the
monastery they would dismiss her, how much less would they ac-
cept her now. She was terribly distressed and turned to our Lord
with great anxieties and said to Him: "My Lord and my God, I
know through faith that You are He who can do all things; well,
then, Life of my soul, either take away these desires or give me
the means to carry them out." She said this with extreme confi-
dence, begging our Lady through the sorrow she felt when she
beheld her dead Son in her arms, to intercede for her. She heard
a voice within her say: "Believe and hope for I am He who can
do all things; you will be healthy, for He who had the power to
prevent so many illnesses, each deadly in itself, from bringing
about their effect will more easily take them away." She says
that these words came with such force and certitude that she
couldn't doubt that her desire would be granted, even though
many more illnesses weighed her down until the Lord gave her
the health we have mentioned. Certainly, what she has suffered
seems incredible. Had I not been informed by the doctor and
those who were in the house, or by other persons, being as
wretched as I am, it would not have been unusual for me to
think that some of this was exaggerated.
24. Although she is weak, she is now healthy enough to keep
the rule. She is a good subject and has a very happy disposition
and, as I have said,19 is humble in everything, which makes us
all praise our Lord. The inheritance of each of them was given
to the order without any conditions, so that even if they were not
admitted to profession the money would still belong to the or-
der. The detachment she has from both her relatives and prop-
erty is great. And she always has the strong desire to move far
away, and thus she begs this of her major superiors very much,
although her obedience is so great that she is happily willing to
remain there. And in this same spirit she received the white veil;
for there was no way of getting her to become a choir Sister, but
she wanted to be a lay Sister. This was so until I wrote to her
The Foundations — Chapter 23
217
telling her many things, scolding her because she wanted some-
thing other than what was her Father Provincial's will.20 I told
her that wanting to be a lay Sister was not more meritorious,
and I mentioned other things, and dealt with her harshly. And
this is her greatest happiness, to be spoken to harshly. As a result
she submitted, very much against her will, to becoming a choir
Sister. I don't know anything about this soul that does not have
to do with her trying to be more pleasing to God, and all the
nuns feel the same way. May it please His Majesty to keep her in
His hands and increase the grace and virtues He has given her
for His greater service and honor. Amen
Chapter 23
Treats of the foundation of the monastery of the glorious St.
Joseph of Carmel in Seville. The first Mass was said on the feast
of the most Blessed Trinity in 1575.1
While I was in this town of Beas waiting for the license
from the Council of the Order of Knights for the foun-
dation in Caravaca, a Father from the discalced of our order
named Maestro Jeronimo Gracian de la Madre de Dios came to
see me.2 A few years before he had received our religious habit
while in Alcala. Throughout his life he has been a man of much
learning, intelligence, and modesty along with other great vir-
tues. It seems, while he was in Alcala, that he was chosen by our
Lady for the good of this primitive order without his having the
remotest idea of receiving our habit, although he had consi-
dered entering the religious life. His parents had other inten-
tions because of his great talent and their good standing with
the king,3 but he was far from being inclined toward their plans
for him. From the time he began school, he was urged by his
father to take up the study of law. Yet, while still very young, he
felt so strongly the desire to study theology that by force of tears
he got his father to allow him to do so.
2. After graduating with a master's degree, he took steps to
enter the Society of Jesus, and they had accepted him. But for a
218
St. Teresa of Avila
certain reason they told him to wait several days. He tells me
that he was tormented by all the enjoyments in his life and that
he didn't think they constituted a safe path to heaven. He always
set aside the hours for prayer and was extremely recollected and
upright.
3. At this time a close friend of his entered the monastery in
Pastrana to become a friar in our order. This friend's name was
Fray Juan de Jesus, and he, too, had a master's degree.4 I don't
know how the interest began, whether it did so because of a let-
ter Fray Juan wrote about the greatness and antiquity of our or-
der or in some other way; for Father Gracian enjoyed very much
reading everything about the order and verifying, through im-
portant authors, what was asserted. He says that he often had
scruples about failing to study other things because he was un-
able to set these studies aside, and he occupied his hours of re-
creation in this way. O wisdom and power of God! How impos-
sible for us to flee from His will I Our Lord truly saw the great
need there was for a person like this to carry on the work that He
had begun. I often praise Him for the favor He granted us in
this matter. Had I very much desired to ask His Majesty for a
person to organize all the things pertaining to the order in these
initial stages, I would not have succeeded in asking for all that
He in fact gave in Father Gracian. May the Lord be blessed for-
ever.
4. Well then, while not having the slighest thought of taking
the habit of this order, he was asked to go to Pastrana to speak to
the prioress of our monastery there— for it had not yet been
abandoned — that she might accept a nun.5 What means the
divine Majesty takes! For had Father Gracian decided to go there
to take the habit, he would perhaps have met with so much op-
position that he might never have done so. But the Blessed
Virgin, our Lady, to whom he is extemely devoted, wanted to
repay him by giving him her habit. So I think she was the
mediatrix through whom God granted him this favor. And this
glorious Virgin was the reason he received it and became so fond
of the order. She did not want one who desired to serve her so
much to lack the occasion for putting this desire into practice. It
is her custom to favor those who want to be protected by her.
The Foundations — Chapter 23
219
5. While still a boy in Madrid, he often went to pray before
an image of our Lady to whom he had great devotion. I don't re-
member where it was; he called her "his love," and his visits
were very frequent.6 She must have obtained for him from her
Son the purity in which he always lived. He says that sometimes
it seemed to him his eyes were swollen from weeping over the
many offenses committed against her Son. As a result there
arose in him a strong impulse and desire to help souls, and he
felt it very deeply when he saw offenses committed against God.
He has so great an inclination toward the good of souls that any
hardship becomes small to him if he thinks that through it he
can produce some fruit. I have seen this myself in the many
trials that he has undergone.
6. Well, the Virgin brought him to Pastrana as though by
tricking him into the thought that he was going there in order to
request the habit for a nun. And God brought him there in or-
der to give him the habit. Oh, secrets of GodI But how true that
without our desiring it, He disposes us so as to give us favors.
And this soul was repaid for the good deeds that he did, for the
good example that he had always given, and for his great desire
to serve the Lord's glorious Mother. His Majesty must always re-
pay this latter with wonderful rewards.
7 . Well, when he arrived in Pastrana, he went to speak to the
prioress that she might accept the nun; and it seemed as though
he had asked her to pray to the Lord that he himself might en-
ter. For he is a very pleasant person so that generally he is loved
by those who have dealings with him— it is a grace our Lord
gives — and thus he is extremely loved by all his subjects, both
friars and nuns. Yet he doesn't let any fault go by, for he is ex-
traordinarily careful in looking out for the welfare of the reli-
gious life. In his actions he is so gentle and pleasant that it seems
no one is able to complain about him.
8. Well, when this prioress saw him, that which happened to
others happened to her; she felt a strong desire that he enter the
order and told the Sisters how important it was to get him to
join, for at the time there were very few, or almost none like
him.7 And she told them all to beseech our Lord not to let him
go without his receiving the habit.
220
St. Teresa of Avila
This prioress is a very great servant of God. By her prayer alone
I think she would have been heard by His Majesty; how much
more would the prayers of nuns as good as those that were there
be heard. All of them took the matter very much to heart and
with fasts, disciplines, and prayer begged His Majesty con-
tinually. Thus He was pleased to grant us this favor. For since
Father Gracian went to the monastery of the friars and saw so
much religious observance and opportunity to serve our Lord
and above all that it was the order of the Lord's glorious Mother
whom he so much desired to serve, his heart was moved not to
return to the world. The devil set before him many difficulties,
especially the pain this would bring his parents. They loved him
very much and had great trust that he would help provide for
their children, for they had many daughters and sons.8 He left
this care to God for whom he left all, and decided to be a subject
of the Virgin and take her habit. So they gave it to him amid the
great happiness of all, especially of the nuns and the prioress.
The nuns gave much praise to our Lord, thinking that His Maj-
esty had granted them this favor through their prayers.
9. He spent the year of probation with the humility one
would find among the youngest novices. His virtue was espe-
cially tried at a time when the prior was absent. A very young
friar was in charge who had no learning, very little talent, and
no prudence for governing. He was without experience since he
had only recently entered. The manner in which he guided
them was excessive as well as were the mortifications he made
them perform. Every time I think of them I am amazed at how
Father Gracian was able to suffer them, especially how he could
put up with persons like that. The spirituality God gave him was
necessary for this suffering. It was clearly seen afterward that
this young friar was the victim of much melancholy, and no-
where was he free of it.9 Even as a subject, he's a source of trou-
ble, how much more so when he governs! The humor has much
control over him, for he is a good religious, and God sometimes
permits this mistake of putting such persons in office so as to
perfect the virtue of obedience in those He loves.
10. So it must have happened that as a reward God has given
Father Fray Jeronimo de la Madre de Dios the greatest light in
The Foundations — Chapter 23
221
matters of obedience so that as one who had such a good initi-
ation into its practice he might teach it to others. And that he
might not lack experience in all the things we need to know
about, he underwent the most severe temptations for three
months prior to his profession. But as the good captain of the
sons of the Virgin that he was to become, he defended himself
well against these temptations. For when the devil harassed him
most to get him to give up the habit, he defended himself by
promising to make his vows and not give it up. He gave me a cer-
tain work that he wrote while undergoing those great tempta-
tions. It inspired me with much devotion, and the fortitude the
Lord gave him is clearly seen.
11. It will seem inappropriate that he should have informed
me of so many personal matters about his soul. Perhaps the
Lord wanted this that I might record it here, and He might be
praised in His creatures. For I know that neither to any confes-
sor nor to any other person has this Father manifested so much
about himself. At times he had reason for so doing because he
thought that on account of my age and from what he had heard
about me I had some experience. It was while we were speaking
about other matters that he told me about these things and
additional ones that cannot be suitably put in writing, for I
would be going on at much greater length.
12. Certainly, I have used much restraint so that if this work
should ever get into his hands he won't suffer pain. I couldn't
help it, nor did it seem to me (for if this work is to be seen, it
won't be for a long time yet) that one who did so much good for
the renewal of the observance of the primitive rule should be
forgotten. Although he was not the one who first began, he
came along at the right moment. For sometimes I would have
regretted10 ever having begun had it not been for the great con-
fidence I had in the mercy of God. I'm referring to the houses of
the friars, for those of the nuns, through God's goodness, have
so far always gone well. Those of the friars were not going badly,
but the basis was there for a very quick collapse. Since the dis-
calced didn't have their own province, they were governed by
the caked. Those who could have governed, such as Fray An-
tonio de Jesus, the one who began the renewal, 11 were not given
222
St. Teresa of Avila
the power to do so. Nor did the friars have constitutions given by
our most Reverend Father General.12 In each house they did as
they saw fit. Until the day comes in which they can govern them-
selves they will have much trouble because some think one way
and others another. At times I found them very tiring.
13. Our Lord provided a remedy through the Father Maestro
Fray Jeronimo de la Madre de Dios, because they made him apos-
tolic commissary and gave him authority and rule over the dis-
calced friars and nuns.13 He drafted constitutions for the friars,
for we already had ours from our most Reverend Father General,
and so he did not draw up any for us. But he did draw them up
for the friars through the apostolic power he had and the talents
that the Lord has given him as I have mentioned. In his first visi-
tation of the friars, he arranged everything with such moderation
and harmony that it indeed seemed he was helped by the Divine
Majesty and that our Lady had chosen him to help her order. I
begged her very much to intercede that her Son always favor this
Father and give him grace to advance far in His service. Amen.
Chapter 24
Continues with the foundation of St. Joseph of Carmel in the
city of Seville.
When, as I mentioned, 1 the Father Maestro Fray Jeronimo
Gracian came to see me at Beas, we had never previ-
ously met although I had very much desired to meet him. (Yes,
at times, we had corresponded.) I was extremely delighted when
I learned he was there, for I greatly desired to meet him on ac-
count of the good reports given me concerning him. But much
greater was my happiness when I began speaking with him, for
it seemed from the way he pleased me that those who had praised
him had hardly known him at all,
2. Since at that time I had so many difficulties, it seems that
when I saw him the Lord showed me the good that was going to
come to us through him. So during those days I went about with
such excessive consolation and happiness that indeed I was sur-
The Foundations— Chapter 24
223
prised at myself. At that time he did not have authority outside
Andalusia. It was when he was in Beas that the nuncio sent to
see him and then gave him authority over the discalced friars
and nuns of Castile.2 So much joy did my spirit feel that I couldn't
thank our Lord enough those days, nor did I want to do any-
thing else.
3. At this time they had brought the license for the founda-
tion in Caravaca. The permission granted did not correspond
with my proposal, and so it was necessary to petition the royal
court again. For I had written to the foundresses that the foun-
dation would in no way be made unless a certain missing detail
were asked for, and so it was necessary to appeal again to the
court.3 It cost me a great deal to wait there so long, and I wanted
to return to Castile. But since Father Fray Jeronimo was there,
to whom that monastery was subject, and since he was the com-
missary for the whole province of Castile,4 nothing could be
done without his approval; so I talked to him about it.
4. He thought that if I were to leave, the foundation in Cara-
vaca would fail, and also that a foundation in Seville would ren-
der great service to God. It seemed to him this latter would be
very easy, for some well-to-do people had asked him and were
able and wealthy enough to provide a house at once. The arch-
bishop of Seville5 so favored the order that Father Fray Jeronimo
believed a foundation would render the order a great service. So
it was arranged that the prioress and the nuns who were to go to
Caravaca would instead go to Seville, although for certain rea-
sons I had always strongly refused to found these monasteries in
Andalusia. If when I went to Beas I had known that it was in
Andalusia, I would by no means have gone. The mistake was
that although the land was not yet within Andalusia, which I
believe begins five or six leagues further, the ecclesiastical prov-
ince was.6 Since I saw that a foundation in Seville was the resolve
of my major superior, I immediately submitted, although I had
decided on another foundation and had some very serious rea-
sons against going to Seville. (This is a favor our Lord grants
me, to have the opinion that these superiors are right in every-
thing.)
5. Preparations were immediately begun for the journey be-
224
St. Teresa of Avila
cause it was beginning to get very hot. Father Apostolic Com-
missary, Gracian, responding to a call from the nuncio left for a
meeting with him, 7 and we for a journey to Seville with my good
companions, Father Julian de Avila, Antonio Gaytan, and a dis-
calced friar.8 We journeyed in wagons well covered, which was
our mode of traveling, and when we reached an inn we took
whatever room was available, good or bad. And one Sister re-
ceived what we needed at the door, for not even those who jour-
neyed with us entered the room.
6. Although we hurried along on our journey, we did not
reach Seville until the Thursday before Trinity Sunday,9 after
having endured scorching heat. Even though we did not travel
during siesta time, I tell you, Sisters, that since the sun was beat-
ing on the wagons, getting into them was like stepping into pur-
gatory. Sometimes by thinking of hell, at other times by think-
ing that something was being done and suffered for God, those
Sisters journeyed with much happiness and joy. The six souls
who were with me were of the kind that made me think I was
daring enough to go off with them to the land of the Turks and
that they had the fortitude, or better, our Lord gave them the
fortitude, to suffer for Him; for this was the subject of their de-
sires and conversations. They were very experienced in prayer
and mortification. Since they had to remain so far away, I chose
those who seemed to me to be the most apt.10 And this was all
necessary because of the trials that were suffered. Some of the
hardships, and the greatest, I won't mention because another
person might be involved.
7. One day before Pentecost, God gave them a severe trial by
sending me a very high fever. I believed that their cries to God
were enough to prevent the sickness from getting worse. Never
before in my life had I experienced a fever like this without its
growing worse. It made me think I had sleeping sickness so
withdrawn did it make me. They threw water on my face, but
being so hot from the sun, the water provided little refreshment.
8. I don't want to fail to mention the bad inn at which we
stayed when I was in this condition. We were given a small room
with just a bare tile roof. It had no window, and when the door
was opened, the sun poured in everywhere. You must remember
The Foundations— Chapter 24
that the sun in that region is not like it is in Castile, but much
more annoying. The bed on which they made me lie down was
such that I would have fared better on the ground. One part was
so high and the other so low that one didn't know how to stay in
it; it was like lying on sharp stones. What a thing sickness is! For
when we're healthy, it's easy to put up with all kinds of incon-
veniences. Finally I decided it would be better if I got up and we
left. It seemed better to me to suffer the sun in the field than in
that little room.
9. What will it be like for the poor ones who are in hell?
Never will there be any change at all, for even a change from
one trial to another brings with it some relief. It has happened
to me that when after suffering from very severe pain in one
place I experienced other pain elsewhere, the change seemed to
provide some relief even though the pain was just as great; so it
was in this instance. As for me, insofar as I remember, it didn't
cause me any distress that I was sick; the Sisters suffered much
more than I. The Lord was pleased that the severity of the fever
did not last beyond that day.
10. A little before this — I don't know whether it was two
days— something else happened to us which got us into a tight
spot while we were crossing the Guadalquivir on a barge. When
it was time for the wagon to cross, it was not possible to make a
straight crossing where the rope was, but they had to wind their
way across; the rope from the other shore was of some help by
flowing with the barge. However, it happened that those who
were holding the rope let it go, or I don't know what happened,
for the barge went off with the wagon and without rope or oars.
I felt much more concern in seeing the anxiety of the boatman
than I did about the danger. We were all praying; the others
were all screaming.
11. A gentleman watching us from a nearby castle was moved
with pity and sent someone to help, for the barge then had not
yet broken loose and our brothers11 were pulling, using all their
strength; but the force of the water dragged them along to the
point that some fell to the ground. Indeed, the boatman's son
caused in me feelings of great devotion, which I never forget—
hejimsLhayeJ)een^ he was
226
St. Teresa of Avila
working so hard upon seeing his father in this difficulty made
me praise our Lord. But as His Majesty always gives trials in a
compassionate way, so He did here. It happened that the boat
got stuck on part of a sand bar where there was not much water;
thus a rescue was made possible. Since nightfall had come, we
would not have known how to continue our journey if someone
from the castle had not come to guide us.
I had not thought of dealing with these things because they
are of little importance, and I could have mentioned many bad
incidents that occurred on our journeys. But I have been urged
to enlarge on my account of this trip.
12. A much greater trial for me than those mentioned was
what happened to us on the second day after Pentecost. We
were hurrying to reach Cordoba in the morning so as to hear
Mass without being seen by anyone. For the sake of greater soli-
tude, they led us to a church located on the other side of a
bridge. When we were about to cross the bridge, we found that
on account of the wagons we needed a license which is issued
by the magistrate. This took more than two hours since he was
not up yet, and many people approached to find out who we
were. This didn't bother us much because, since the wagons
were well covered, the people were unable to do so. When the
license finally came, we found that the wagons wouldn't fit
through the gate of the bridge. It was necessary to saw them, or
I don't know what, which took another while. When we finally
reached the church where Father Julian de Avila was to say
Mass, it was filled with people. The church was dedicated to
the Holy Spirit, which we had not known, and thus they were
celebrating an important feast in which a sermon was to be
preached.
13. When I saw this I was very sorry. It seemed to me better
to go without hearing Mass than to enter such turmoil. It didn't
seem so to Father Julian de Avila. And since he was a theologian,
we all had to follow his opinion. My other companions perhaps
would have followed mine, and it would have been ill-advised,
although I don't know if I would have trusted only in my opinion.
We got out near the church, and although no one was able to see
our faces, since we always wore large veils in front of them, it
The Foundations — Chapter 24
227
was enough for the people to see us with the veils, the white,
coarse woolen mantles we wore, and our sandals of hemp for
them to get all stirred up; and that's what happened. The shock
was certainly a great one for me and for all, and it must have
taken away my fever completely.
14. As we entered the church, a friendly man approached
me so as to hold off the people. I pleaded with him to bring us to
some chapel. He did so and closed it and did not leave us until
we left the church. After a few days, he came to Seville and told
a Father of our order that he thought God had rewarded him for
the good deed he had performed, for the Lord had provided
him with, or given him, a large estate about which he had for-
gotten.
I tell you, daughters, although it may perhaps seem to you to
be nothing, this incident was for me one of the really bad mo-
ments I went through. From the uproar of the people you would
think that a herd of bulls had come into the church. Thus, I
couldn't wait to get out of that place. Since there was nowhere
nearby to take siesta, we took it under a bridge.
15. When we reached Seville and the house that Father Fray
Mariano had rented for us, which he had been told about, I fig-
ured that everything was done. As I say, the archbishop favored
the discalced and had at times written to me manifesting much
love.12 That wasn't enough to keep him from causing me much
trouble, for God so desired it. The archbishop is very much op-
posed to monasteries of nuns founded in poverty, and he is
right. The trouble was that he hadn't been told; or rather, that
was to the advantage of this foundation, for had he been told I
am certain he would not have agreed to it. Since Father Com-
missary and Father Mariano (for whom also my arrival had been
the source of the greatest happiness) were most certain that by
my coming I would be doing the archbishop an enormous favor,
they did not tell him beforehand. And, as I say, while thinking
they were right, they could have been making a great mistake.
With the other monasteries, the first thing I did was to obtain
the license from the ordinary of the place as the holy Council re-
quires.13 In this case, not only did we consider the license as
given, but also, as I say, we thought the monastery would be a
228
St. Teresa of Avila
great favor to him, as it truly was, and this he came to under-
stand afterward. But the Lord desired that no foundation be
made without some trial in one way or another.14
16. Well, when we arrived at the house which, as I say, they
had rented for us, I thought we could immediately take posses-
sion, as was my custom, so that we could say the Divine Office.
But Father Mariano began to procrastinate — he was the one
who was there — and so as not to cause me any grief, he did not
want to tell me everything. Since he didn't have sufficient rea-
sons, I understood where the difficulty lay, which was that the
license had not been granted. The archbishop told me that it
would be good if the monastery were founded with an income,
or something like that, for I don't remember. Finally, he told
me that he didn't like to grant permission for monasteries of
nuns, and that since he had been archbishop he had never done
so for any. He had been there many years, as well as in Cordoba,
and he is a great servant of God. Especially, he didn't like giving
a license for a monastery to be founded in poverty and said that
he would not do so.
17. This amounted to saying that the monastery must not be
founded. First, it would have seemed to me wrong to found in
the city of Seville a monastery with an established income even
though I could have done so. The places where I did agree to
make foundations with an income were small and required that
either I found the monastery with an income or not at all since
without one there would be no means of sustenance. Secondly,
not a cent was left from the expenses of the journey, and we
hadn't brought anything with us except what we were wearing
and some tunics and toques, and what was necessary in order to
cover the wagons and travel comfortably in them. In order that
those who came with us could return, they had to look for a way
of borrowing. One of Antonio Gaytan's friends who was there
lent them what they needed. And Father Mariano looked for
what was necessary to furnish the house; nor did we have a
house of our own. Thus, it was an impossible situation.
1 8 . Through what must have been persistent pleading on the
part of the said Father we were allowed to have Mass, which was
the first, on the feast of the most Blessed Trinity. 15 But word was
The Foundations — Chapter 24
229
sent that the bell should not be rung; neither was it to be put up,
although it had already been put up. We were in this situation
more than fifteen days. I know that if it had not been for Father
Commissary and Father Mariano, I would definitely have re-
turned with my nuns, and with very little regret, to Beas for the
foundation in Caravaca. Much greater was the regret I actually
experienced those days; since I have a bad memory, I do not
remember, but I believe this lasted more than a month. For it
was more difficult to return now after the monastery was known
than it would have been immediately after our arrival. Father
Mariano never allowed me to write to the archbishop, but in-
stead went about gradually trying himself to convince him,
making use also of letters from Father Commissary who was in
Madrid.
19. As for me , one thing was calming and prevented me from
feeling great scruple; it was that Mass had been said with the
archbishop's permission, and we always said the Divine Office
in choir. The archbishop did not fail to send a visitor with the
message that he would see me soon, and an assistant was sent to
say the first Mass. Hence I saw clearly that there was no point in
my being disturbed. Yet, I felt distressed, not because of me or
my nuns, but because of the anxiety Father Commissary experi-
enced. Since he had ordered me to come, he felt very bad and
would have been pained were something unfortunate to have
happened, and he had many reasons for worrying about that.
20. At this time the calced Fathers came in order to inquire
concerning the authority by which the foundation had been
made. I showed them the patents I had from our most Reverend
Father General.16 With this they were calmed. But if they had
known what the archbishop was doing, I don't think the docu-
ments I showed them would have sufficed. However, this was
not known, and everyone thought the foundation pleased the
archbishop very much and made him happy. Finally, God was
pleased that he come to see us. I told him about the harm he was
doing us. In the end, he told me that the monastery could re-
main and in the way I wanted it. From then on, he always fa-
vored and supported us in everything that occurred.
230
St. Teresa of A vzla
Chapter 25
Continues telling about the foundation named after the glori-
ous St. Joseph in Seville and about what we suffered in order to
get our own house.
No one would have thought that in a city as wealthy as
Seville and with so many rich people there would be
fewer opportunities for a foundation than in any of the other
places I had gone to. There was so much less help that I some-
times thought that it would not be good for us to have a monas-
tery in that place. I don't know if the climate itself of that terri-
tory is the reason. I have always heard it said that the devils have
greater leeway there to tempt souls, for God must grant it to
them. They certainly afflicted me there, for I never felt more
pusillanimous or cowardly in my life. Indeed, I didn't recognize
myself, although the confidence I usually have in our Lord did
not leave me. But in my human nature I felt very different from
the way I usually do after taking part in these things. I figured
that the Lord partly withdrew His hand so that my human na-
ture might be left to itself and I might see that my courage did
not come from me.
2. Well then, I stayed there from this time of which I am
speaking until a little after Lent.1 There was not a chance of
buying a house, nothing either with which to buy one, nor even
anyone who would lend to us as there were in other places.
Those women who had often told Father Apostolic Visitator2
that they would enter our community and had asked him to bring
nuns there, afterward thought we were too strict and that they
would not be able to endure the life. Only one person, about
whom I shall speak later, entered.3 The time, then, came in
which I received orders to leave Andalusia because there were
other business matters for me to attend to up here.4 It distressed
me deeply to have to leave the nuns without a house, although I
saw clearly that I wasn't accomplishing anything there. For the
favor God grants me up here of having people to help me in
these works, I did not have there.
3. God was pleased at that time that my brother, Lorenzo de
The Foundations — Chapter 25
231
Cepeda, return from the Indies where he had been for more
than thirty-four years. 5 Feeling worse than I that the nuns would
be staying there without having their own house, he helped us a
great deal, especially in procuring the house in which they now
live. For my part, I pleaded with our Lord, begging Him that I
not have to go away and leave the nuns without a house. I had the
Sisters ask Him as well as the glorious St. Joseph for this favor and
we offered many processions and prayers to our Lady. Along
with this, seeing my brother determined to help us, I began dis-
cussing the purchase of some houses. Just when it seemed that
everything was starting to work out, it all came to naught.
4. One day, while I was in prayer beseeching our Lord to give
them a house since they were His brides and had such desire to
please Him, He told me: "I have already heard you; leave it to
Me." I was left feeling very happy since it seemed I already had
the house. And this was so. His Majesty prevented us from buy-
ing one that because of its nice location was pleasing to all. But
the house itself was so old and run down that only the site was
being bought and for not much less than was paid for the house
we have now. Though all was agreed upon and only the contract
remained to be drawn up, I was by no means satisfied. This
didn't seem to be in accord with the words I had heard in
prayer; for those words, I believed, were a sign that a good
house would be given to us. And thus the Lord was pleased that
the owner, even though he was making a great profit, should
raise a difficulty about signing the contract at the established
time, and we were able, without any fault, to get out of the
agreement. This was a great favor from our Lord, for there was
so much work to be done on the house that the Sisters living
there would never in all their lives have been able to do it; and
their means were few.
5. Much help was given to us by a servant of God who, from
almost as soon as we arrived, began to come each day to say
Mass, since he knew that we did not have a celebrant, even
though his house was far away and the weather was extremely
hot. His name is Garcialvarez.6 Highly esteemed in the city on
account of his good works, he is never occupied with anything
but them. And had he been wealthy, we would not have lacked
232
St. Teresa of Avila
anything. Knowing all about the house, he thought it would be
very foolish to give so much for it. Thus, each day he told us so
and managed to get us to speak of it no more. He and my brother
went to see the house in which the nuns now live. They got to
like it so much, and rightly so — and our Lord wanted this — that
in two or three days the contract was signed.7
6 . What we had to go through before moving in was no trifle.
The occupant did not want to leave, and the Franciscan friars,
since they were nearby, came at once trying to persuade us that
we should by no means move in. If the contract had not been so
firmly signed, I would have praised God that it could be broken,
because we found ourselves in danger of paying six thousand
ducats for a house we were unable to move into. This was not
how the prioress viewed the matter.8 She praised God that the
contract could not be broken, for in regard to that house, His
Majesty gave her more faith in Him and courage than He did
me; just as in everything else, for she is much better than I.
7. This trouble lasted more than a month. God was finally
pleased that we move, the prioress with myself and two other
nuns, in great fear, at night so that the friars would not be
aware until we took possession. Those who came with us said
that every shadow they saw seemed to be a friar. When morning
came, the good Garcialvarez, who was with us, said the first
Mass, and then our fears left us.
8. O Jesus! How many fears I have suffered before taking pos-
session of these foundations! I reflect on the fact that if one can
feel so much fear in doing something good, for the service of
God, what must be the fear of those who do evil, deeds that are
against God and against neighbor? I don't know what they can
gain or what satisfaction they can find as a counterbalance to all
that fear.
9. My brother was not there yet since he had sought sanctu-
ary on account of a certain error made in the contract which was
drawn up so hastily. The error was very harmful to the monas-
tery, and since he was the guarantor of the loan they wanted to
arrest him.9 And because he was an outsider, there was the
possibility that they would harass us, and in fact they did, for
The Foundations — Chapter 25
233
until he put up collateral there was trouble. Afterward the ne-
gotiations went well, although there was some contention at
times so that we might suffer greater trial. We were enclosed in
some rooms on the ground floor, and he was there all day with
the workers, and he provided us with food as he had been doing
before. Since we were in what had been a private home, not
everyone knew it was a monastery, and thus there were few alms
save for those of the saintly old prior of Las Cuevas, a Carthusian
monk and very great servant of God from the Pantoja family in
Avila. 10 God gave him so much love for us that from the time we
arrived he did not cease helping in every way, and I think he will
continue doing so until he dies. We owe a great deal to this
saint. I put this down here, daughters, so that if you read it you
will pray for the one who helped us so much, and it is right that
you pray for him and for all those, living or dead, who have
helped us.
10. My brother stayed with us more than a month, I think.
(On this subject of time, I have a poor memory and so I could be
mistaken; always understand me to be saying "more or less"
since it doesn't matter.) During this month he worked a great
deal in constructing the church out of some rooms in the house
and adapting everything so that we didn't have to do anything.
11. After all the work was finished, I wanted to have the
Blessed Sacrament reserved without any noisy display, for I am
much opposed to causing any bother if it can be. avoided, and so
I mentioned this to Father Garcialvarez. He spoke about it with
the Father Prior of Las Cuevas, for they were looking after our
affairs as they would their own. Their opinion was that in order
to make the monastery known in Seville the Blessed Sacrament
would have to be reserved with solemnity, and they went to the
archbishop. All agreed that the Blessed Sacrament should be
brought with much solemnity from a parish, and the archbishop
ordered that the clerics and confraternities gather for the occa-
sion and that the streets be decorated.
12. The good Garcialvarez decorated our cloister which
then, as I mentioned, looked on to the street. And in decorating
the church he went to every extreme with many very nice altars
and some other contrivances. Among these latter was a fount
234
St. Teresa of Avila
having orange-flower water which we neither requested nor
even wanted; although afterward it did give us much devotion.
And we were consoled to see that our festival was celebrated
with such solemnity, with the streets highly decorated, and a
great deal of music and many musical instruments. The saintly
prior of Las Cuevas told me that he had never seen anything like
this before in Seville, that it was evidently the work of God. He
himself walked in the procession, which he was not accustomed
to doing. The archbishop reserved the Blessed Sacrament.11
Here you see, daughters, the poor discalced nuns honored by
all. A little earlier it didn't seem that there would even be any
water for them, although there is a great deal in the river. The
number of people that came was extraordinary.
13. One thing that happened, according to all who saw it, is
worth noting. Since after the procession there was much shoot-
ing of artillery and firecrackers, the people had the urge to con-
tinue, for it was almost night. And I don't know how, but some
powder caught fire, and it was a great wonder that the person
who had it didn't get killed. A huge flame leaped up as high as
the cloister. The people thought that the taffeta hangings cov-
ering the arches would all be reduced to ashes. But no damage
was done to them at all, though they were yellow and bright red.
What was frightening is that the stone of the arches, under the
hangings, was blackened by the smoke, but the taffeta hangings
were left unmarred as if the fire had not reached them.
14. All were amazed when they saw it. The nuns praised the
Lord that they didn't have to pay for new taffeta. The devil
must have been so angry at seeing another house of God and the
solemnity that was demonstrated that he wanted somehow to
get revenge. But His Majesty did not allow this; may He be
blessed forever, amen.
The Foundations — Chapter 26
235
Chapter 26
Continues the account of the foundation of the monastery of St.
Joseph in the city of Seville. Tells some very noteworthy things
about the first nun who entered there.
You can easily understand, my daughters, the consolation
we had that day. For my part, I can tell you that it was very
great. I was especially consoled to see that I was leaving the Sisters
in a house that was so good and well located, and that the monas-
tery was known, and that there were enough new nuns to pay for
the greater part of the cost of the house. Thus, those who in the
future, before the established number is reached, may want to
enter can do so no matter how little the dowry they bring with
them, and the debt can still be paid off. Above all, I was happy
for having shared in the trials, and when there was opportunity
for a little rest, I left. This festival took place the Sunday before
Pentecost in the year 1576, and immediately on Monday, the fol-
lowing day, I departed, 1 for the extremely hot weather was begin-
ning to come and I wanted to be in Malagon before Pentecost
and not have to travel on that day. I would have liked to have
delayed a day or so, but for the above reason I left in a hurry.
2. The Lord was not pleased that I be there even one day to
hear Mass in the chapel. The nuns' happiness was greatly spoiled
by my departure.2 They felt it very keenly, for we had gone
through so many trials together in that year. As I have said,3 I
am not recording the worst ones here. In my opinion, aside from
the first foundation in Avila (for with that one there is no com-
parison), none of the other foundations cost me as much as this
one did in which the trials were for the most part interior ones.
May it please the Divine Majesty that He always be served there,
as I hope He will be, for then everything else is of little impor-
tance. His Majesty began to draw good souls to that house. As
for the five who remained, out of the six I brought with me, I
have already told you how good they were; that is, something of
what can be told, which is the least. I wish to speak now of the
first nun who entered there since her story is something you will
enjoy hearing about.
236
St. Teresa of Avila
3. She was the young daughter of very Christian parents. Her
father was from the mountain region. She was still young, around
seven, when her aunt, who had no children, begged her mother
to allow her to stay with her. When she was brought to the
house, her aunt must have shown her much love and affection
as was natural. The maids had been hoping they would get the
aunt's inheritance, but now it was clear that since the aunt loved
the child she would leave it to her. The maids decided together
to remove that obstacle through a diabolical plot, inventing a
calumny against the child, saying that she wanted to kill her
aunt. And in order to carry this out they gave one from among
them I don't know how much money to buy some corrosive sub-
limate. When they told the aunt, she believed them at once be-
cause they all said the same thing. And the child's mother did
too, for she is a very virtuous woman.
4. She took the child and brought her home thinking that she
might turn out to be a very bad woman. Beatriz de la Madre de
Dios,4 for that is her name, tells me that for more than a year
they spanked, punished, and made her sleep on the floor so that
she would confess that she had planned to do something so evil.
Since the girl denied that she had done it and said that she
didn't know what corrosive sublimate was, her mother thought
she was much worse since she was stubborn enough to deny it.
The poor mother was so afflicted to see her daughter so
headstrong in her refusal to admit she had done anything that
she thought her daughter would never make amends. It's amaz-
ing that the girl didn't admit she was guilty just to free herself
from so much punishment. But since she was innocent, God sus-
tained her so that she continued to uphold the truth. And since
His Majesty defends those who are without fault, He sent two
of those maids an illness so bad that it seemed they had caught
the rabies. Secretly they sent for both the little girl and her aunt
and begged pardon from them, and finding themselves at the
point of death they retracted. The other maid did likewise
before dying in childbirth. In sum, all three of them died agoniz-
ing deaths in payment for what they had made that innocent
girl suffer.
5. I did not learn this solely from her, for her mother, after
The Foundations — Chapter 26
237
she saw that her daughter had become a nun, grieved over the
bad treatment they had given her, and told me about it along
with other things, for the girl's martyrdoms were many. And
God permitted that, without it being her fault, the mother, who
was a good Christian and loved her daughter, become her daugh-
ter's executioner. This mother is a woman of great honesty and
deep Christian spirit.
6. While reading a book on the life of St. Anne, the child,
when a little more than twelve years old, became very devoted to
the saints of Carmel. For the author of the book says that St.
Anne's mother— I believe her name is Merenciana— often went
to speak to those saints. The effect this reading had on the girl
was one of great devotion to the order of our Lady, for she then
promised to become a nun in that order and also made a prom-
ise of chastity. When she could, she gave much time to solitude
and prayer. In this solitude God and our Lady granted her many
great and special favors. She would have liked to become a nun
at once but she didn't dare because of her parents. Nor did she
know where to find this order; which is surprising, for there was
a monastery of the mitigated rule in Seville. But she had never
heard of it until she heard of our monasteries many years later.
7. When she reached the marriageable age, though she was
still but a girl, her parents came to an agreement on whom she
should marry. She was their only child. Although she had had
other brothers, they had all died, and she, the less loved by her
parents, was left. (When what I mentioned5 happened one of
her brothers was alive, and he defended her saying that the
calumny should not be believed.) Once the marriage was ar-
ranged, her parents didn't think she would have any objection,
but when they told her she answered that she had made a vow
not to get married and that no scheme whatever on their part,
even if they were to kill her, would get her to do so.
8. Because either the devil blinded the parents or God per-
mitted this so that she would be a martyr, they thought she had
done something wicked and that for that reason she did not
want to get married. Since they had already given their word
and their not following through on it would have been taken as
an affront by the other party, they gave her so many whippings,
238
St. Teresa of Avila
inflicted on her so many punishments, even to the point of
wanting to hang her, for they were choking her, that it was for-
tunate they didn't kill her. God who desired her for greater
things saved her. She tells me that in the end she hardly felt
anything because she recalled what St. Agnes had suffered, that
the Lord had brought it to her mind, that she was pleased to suf-
fer something for Him, and that she did nothing but offer her-
self to Him. They thought she would die, for she was in bed
three months, unable to stir.
9. It seems very strange that the parents of this young
maiden, a girl who never left her mother's side and whose father
was very circumspect, should think so much evil of their daugh-
ter. She was always holy and virtuous, and very dedicated to
almsgiving; all that she could obtain she gave away in alms. If
our Lord wishes to grant someone the favor of suffering, He has
many means; although, for some years our Lord had been re-
vealing to her parents the virtue of their daughter so that they
gave her all she wanted for distributing alms, and the former
persecutions were changed into tokens of affection. Nonethe-
less, because of her longing to be a nun everything was a hard-
ship for her; thus, according to what she told me, she went
about dejected and troubled.
10. It happened that thirteen or fourteen years before Father
Gracian went to Seville (when nobody had even heard of dis-
calced Carmelites), while she was with her father and mother
and two other women who were neighbors, a discalced friar of
our order dressed in the coarse wool habit these friars now wear
entered their house. They say his face was both fresh and vener-
able, although he was so old that his beard seemed made of sil-
ver threads, and it was long. He approached her and began to
speak to her a little in a language that neither she nor anyone
else understood. When he finished, he blessed her three times
saying: "Beatriz, may God make you strong." And then he went
away. No one stirred while he was there, but all remained as
though stupefied. Her father asked her who he was. She had
thought that her father had known him. They got up at once to
go and look for him, but he was seen no more. She remained
very consoled, and all the others very amazed, for they considered
The Foundations — Chapter 26
239
this to be something from God, and so they then began to es-
teem her highly as was said.6 After this, all those years passed, I
believe they were fourteen, while she was ever serving our Lord,
beseeching Him to fulfill her desire.
1 1 . She was very weary by the time Father Maestro Fray Jero-
nimo Gracian arrived there. Going one day to hear a sermon in a
church in Triana, which is where her father was living, without
knowing who the preacher would be— it was the Father Maestro
Gracian— she saw him go up to receive the blessing. When she
saw the habit and that he was discalced, she at once recalled the
one whom she had seen, for the habit was the same; although
the face and the age were different, for Father Gracian was not
yet thirty years old. She tells me that her joy was so great she al-
most fainted, for although she had heard that a monastery was
founded there in Triana she had not known to which order it
belonged.7 Immediately, from that day she began to try to con-
fess to Father Gracian. Yet God desired that even that would
cost her much, for she tried more than, or at least as many as,
twelve times, but the Father never wanted to hear her confes-
sion. Since she was young and attractive in appearance— for she
must have been no more than twenty-seven— he avoided con-
versation with her; he is very circumspect.8
12 . Finally, one day while she was in the church weeping (be-
ing also very reserved), a lady asked her what the trouble was.
She told her that she had been trying for a long time to speak
with that Father who was then in the confessional and that she
had not succeeded. The lady brought her to the confessional
and begged him to hear the young girl's confession, and thus
this girl was able to make a general confession to him. When he
saw what a virtuous soul she was, he was greatly consoled, and
he consoled her, telling her that perhaps discalced nuns would
come there and that he would arrange that they accept her im-
mediately. And that is what happened. The first command he
gave me was that she be the first to be admitted, for he was satis-
fied with her soul. And he informed her of this after we had
arrived there. He insisted that she not let her parents know be-
cause otherwise there would be no possibility of her entering.
And thus on the feastday of the Holy Trinity9 she took leave
240
St. Teresa of Avila
from some women who accompanied her to the church. (Her
mother did not go with her when she went to the monastery of
the discalced friars for confession, which is where she always
went, for it was far away. And she, and her parents through her,
gave many alms to the monastery.) She had arranged with a
woman who was a very good servant of God to bring her and told
the women who were accompanying her that she would soon re-
turn. And they allowed her to go since the woman companion
was very well known in Seville as a servant of God who did great
works of mercy. She put on her habit and mantle of coarse wool;
I don't know how she was able to move, except that the happi-
ness she felt made everything seem easy. Her only fear was that
someone might recognize her behind this heavy habit, so differ-
ent from her usual mode of dress, and stop her. What wonders
the love of God works! Since she was no longer concerned about
her honor and thought of nothing but how to realize her desire,
we opened the door at once. I sent word of this to her mother.
Her mother came to the monastery as though out of her mind;
but she said that she already saw the favor God was granting her
daughter. And although she was grieved, she overcame it cou-
rageously and did not go to the extreme of not speaking to her
daughter as others do. She gave us many alms.
1 3 . This bride of Christ began to enjoy the happiness she had
so much longed for and was so humble and fond of doing all
there was to do that we could hardly get the broom away from
her. Whereas in her own home she had been so pampered, here
she found all her rest in working. In her great happiness she
began to put on weight. This pleased her relatives so much that
they were now content to see her there.
14. In order that she would not enjoy so much good without
suffering, she experienced very severe temptations two or three
months before the time in which she was to make her profession; 10
not because she had decided against making it, but because it
seemed to her a very serious step to take. The devil, making her
forget all those years in which she had suffered to attain this
blessing, was so tormenting her that she could not overcome the
temptation. Nevertheless, by absolutely forcing herself, she
defeated him in such a way that in the midst of these torments
The Foundations — Chapter 2 7
241
she made the plans for her profession. Our Lord, who must not
have been waiting for anything more than the testing of her for-
titude, visited and consoled her in a very special way three days
before the profession and put the devil to flight. She remained
so consoled that during those three days it seemed as though she
was outside herself with happiness; and rightly so because the
favor had been great.
15. A few days after she entered the monastery, her father
died. Her mother took the habit in the same monastery and
gave all she possessed in alms.11 Both mother and daughter ex-
perience the greatest happiness, edifying all the nuns and serv-
ing Him who granted them so wonderful a favor.
16. A year had not passed before another young lady, against
the will of her parents, entered. And thus the Lord continues to
fill this house of His with souls so desirous of serving Him, for
neither austerity nor enclosure deters them. May He be blessed
and praised forever and ever, amen.
Chapter 27
Treats of the foundation made in the town of Caravaca. The
Blessed Sacrament was reserved on New Year's Day, 1576. The
monastery is under the patronage of the glorious St. foseph.
While I was at St. Joseph's in Avila about to leave for the
foundation in Beas that was mentioned1 — for the only
thing we had still to prepare was the means of transportation — a
private messenger arrived from a lady in Caravaca named Dona
Catalina.2 After hearing a sermon preached by a Father from
the Society of Jesus, three young ladies went to her house deter-
mined not to leave until a monastery was founded in that town.3
This action must have been something they had already dis-
cussed with this lady who is the one who helped them make the
foundation. They belonged to the most important families of
that town. The father of one of them was Rodrigo Moya, a very
great servant of God and a man of much prudence.4 Among the
three of them they had enough resources to seek to accomplish a
242
St. Teresa of Avila
project like this. They learned from the Fathers of the Society of
Jesus, who have always favored and helped this work, of what
our Lord has done in founding these monasteries.
2. Since I saw the desire and fervor of those souls and that
they went so far looking for the order of our Lady, I was moved
with devotion and there arose in me the desire to help them
carry our their good intention. Learning that Caravaca was
close to Beas, I took with me a greater number of nuns than I
usually do. My intention was to go there after completing the
foundation in Beas. According to the letters these ladies sent, it
seemed to me we could come to an agreement. But since the
Lord had disposed otherwise, my plans were of little help, as was
said when speaking of the foundation in Seville. For they had
obtained the license from the council of the Order of Knights in
such a way that even though I had made up my mind to go, I
had to give up the idea.5
3. The truth of the matter is that when I learned in Beas
where Caravaca is and saw that it was so out of the way and the
road for those who would have to visit the nuns was so bad and
that the superiors would be displeased, I had little enthusiasm
for making the foundation. But since I had raised the hopes of
those ladies, I asked Father Julian de Avila and Antonio Gaytan
to go there to see what the place was like and, if they so decided,
to cancel the plans. They felt lukewarm toward the project not
because of the three who wanted to be nuns but because of Dona
Catalina who was mainly responsible for the foundation, for she
kept these ladies in a separate room by themselves as though
they were already enclosed.
4. These nuns, or better, these who were about to become
nuns, especially two of them, were so convinced of their vocation
that they knew how to gain the goodwill of Father Julian de Avila
and Antonio Gaytan. Before returning, these latter two signed
the documents of agreement6 and returned leaving the young
ladies very happy. They came back so enthused about these
women and the place that they never stopped talking about it,
nor did they stop talking about the bad road. Since I saw that the
agreement had been reached but that the license was delayed in
coming, I sent the good Antonio Gaytan there again who for love
The Foundations— Chapter 2 7
of me underwent all the hardship willingly. He and Father Julian
de Avila were eager that the foundation be made. The truth of
the matter is that they are the ones who should be thanked for
this foundation. If they hadn't gone there and reached an agree-
ment, I would not have bothered about it.
5. I sent Antonio Gaytan to put up the turn and the grille in
the house where the nuns were going to live until finding an-
other suitable one. This was the house of Rodrigo de Moya,
who, as I mentioned,7 was the father of one of these ladies, and
very willingly allowed them to use a part of his house. Antonio
Gaytan remained there doing this work for many days.
6. When they brought the license and I was about ready to
depart for Caravaca, I learned from the license that the house
would have to be subject to the council of the Order of Knights
and obedience given to them, which is something I could not
do because we belonged to the Order of Our Lady of Mount
Carmel.
And thus, another license was asked for that would not have
this condition, for otherwise neither there nor in Beas would a
foundation be possible. When I wrote to the king, who at present
is Don Philip, he granted me the great favor of issuing orders
that the license be granted.8 The king is so fond of favoring
religious who he knows are faithful to their profession that once
he had learned of the manner of life in these monasteries and
that we follow the primitive rule, he favored us in everything.
And thus, daughters, I beg you that special prayer be always of-
fered for his majesty, as is done by us now.
7. Since they had to petition again for the license, I departed
for Seville by order of Father Provincial, who was then, and still
is, Father Fray Jeronimo Gracian de la Madre de Dios, as was
said.9 And the poor young ladies were enclosed there until the
following New Year's Day. It had been around February when
they had sent me a messenger in Avila. The license, then, was
obtained in a short time, without any delay. But since I was so
far away and involved in so many troubles, I was not able to help
them. And I felt most sorry for them, for they wrote to me fre-|
quently very distressed, and so I could not bear making them
wait any longer.
244
St. Teresa of Avila
8. Since it was impossible for me to go because I was so far
away and the foundation in Seville was not completed, Father
Maestro Fray Jeronimo Gracian, who was the apostolic visitator,
as was mentioned, ordered those nuns to go, even though I could
not go with them, who had been chosen for the foundation and
who were waiting at St. Joseph's in Malagon. I arranged for
someone to be prioress who I trusted would fulfill the office very
well, for she is far better than 1. 10 And taking with them all the
provisions, they left with two discalced Fathers of our order.11
Father Julian de Avila and Antonio Gay tan had already returned
home some time before, so I did not want them to accompany
the Sisters because they were too far away and the weather was
so bad, for it was the end of December.
9. When the nuns arrived in the town, they were received
with great joy by the people and especially by those women who
had been living an enclosed life. They founded the monastery,
reserving the Blessed Sacrament, on the feast of the Holy Name
of Jesus, in the year 1576. 12 Two of the women immediately took
the habit. The other one suffered very much from melancholy.
It must have been bad for her to live an enclosed life, and how
much more so when it was so strict and penitential. She decided
to return home to live with one of her sisters.13
10. Reflect, my daughters, on the judgments of God and on
our obligation to serve Him who has allowed us to persevere
until making profession and to live always in the house of God
and be daughters of the Virgin. For His Majesty benefited by
the good will of this young lady and by her property so that the
monastery could be founded, and when the time came for her
to be able to enjoy what she had so desired, she was lacking in
fortitude and became subject to the melancholic humor. This
latter, daughters, we often blame for our imperfections and in-
constancy.
1 1 . May it please His Majesty to give us abundant grace, for
with this, nothing will prevent us from advancing ever in His
service. And may He protect and favor all of us so that this ex-
cellent beginning, which He was pleased to initiate in women
as miserable as we, may not be lost through our weakness. In
The Foundations— Chapter 27
245
His name I beg you, my daughters and Sisters, that you always
ask our Lord for this and that each one who enters in the future
bear in mind that with her the observance of the primitive rule
of the order of the Virgin, our Lady, begins again and that she
must in no way consent to any mitigation. Consider that through
very little things the door is opened to very big things, and that
without your realizing it the world will start entering your lives.
Remember the poverty and hardship that was undergone in ob-
taining what you now quietly enjoy. If you note carefully, you
will see that in part these houses, most of them, have not been
founded by men but by the powerful hand of God and that His
Majesty is very fond of advancing the works He accomplishes
provided we cooperate. From where do you think a useless wom-
an like me, subject to obedience, without even a maravedi, with
no one to help me in any way, could get the power for such great
works? For this brother of mine, who helped with the founda-
tion in Seville and had the means, courage, and goodness of soul
to help, was in the Indies.14
12. See, my daughters, see the hand of God. Well, it could
not be because I am from the nobility that He has given me such
honor. In whatever way you want to look at this you will recog-
nize that it is His work. It would not be right for us to undermine
it in any way. We must not do so even if it cost us our life, honor,
and tranquility. Moreover, we have everything here, for to have
life is to live in such a way that there is no fear of death or of any
of life's happenings, to have an habitual happiness, as you now
all have, and to enjoy this prosperity that cannot be surpassed
when there is no fear of poverty, but on the contrary desire for
it. Well, to what can the interior and exterior peace that you
always enjoy be compared? It is in your power to live and to die
with this peace, as you have witnessed in those you have seen die
in these houses. For if you always ask God to foster this way of
life and you trust not at all in yourselves, He will not deny you
His mercy. And if you have confidence in Him and have coura-
geous spirits— for His majesty is very fond of these— you need
not fear that He will fail you in anything. Never refuse to accept
because they are not wealthy those who ask to become nuns pro-
vided they are virtuous and you are pleased with their desires
246
St. Teresa of Avila
and talents, and they do not come merely as a remedy for their
social situation but come to serve God with greater perfection.
God in other ways will provide doubly for that which you might
lack because of doing this.
13. I have much experience of this. His Majesty knows well
that insofar as I can remember I have never refused to accept
anyone because of lack of money, provided I was satisfied with
all the rest. The witnesses to this are the many who have been re-
ceived only for God, as you know. And I can certify that when I
received those who brought much wealth I did not feel as great a
joy as I did with those I accepted only for God. On the contrary,
I had fear about those with wealth, but the poor filled and en-
larged my spirit with a happiness so great I wept for joy. This is
the truth.
14. Well, if when we had to buy and build houses we got
along so well following this procedure, why shouldn't we do so
now that we have a place to live? Believe me, daughters, the
means by which you think you are accumulating are those by
which you will be losing. When the person about to enter has
wealth, without any other obligation, it is good that she give it to
you as alms instead of giving it to others who have no need of it.
For I confess that it would seem to me a lack of love if she didn't
do this. But always bear in mind that the one who is about to
enter should dispose of her possessions in conformity with what
learned men advise her is for the greater service of God. It would
be very bad if we were to look for any other good from those who
enter this service. We gain much more when she does what she
ought for God— I mean with greater perfection— than from all
that she brings with her, for none of us is aiming after anything
else. Nor may God allow this to happen, but only that His Maj-
esty be served in all and through all.
1 5 . And although I am wretched and miserable, I say this for
the honor and glory of God and so that you may rejoice in how
these houses of His were founded. Never in any business related
to these foundations, nor in anything that happened relative to
them, did I do anything or would I have done anything— I mean
with regard to these foundations — that I understood to go con-
trary to the will of God in even one point, and this, too, when I
The Foundations— Chapter 2 7
247
thought that in order to succeed I would have to cover up my in-
tentions. I proceeded according to what my confessors advised
me, for since I have been working on these foundations, my con-
fessors have always been very learned men and great servants of
God, as you know. Nor, insofar as I remember, did anything
else pass through my mind than to proceed in this way.
16. Perhaps I am mistaken and have done many things wrong
without realizing it; and the imperfections are countless. Our
Lord who is the true judge knows that my intentions were good,
insofar as I could discern concerning myself, I mean. Also, I see
clearly that this good did not come from me but from God who
willed that this work be done, and because it was His work He
favored me and granted this gift. The reason why I'm telling
you this, my daughters, is that you may understand how obliged
you are and know that so far nothing offensive has been done to
anyone. May He who has done everything be blessed and may
charity be awakened in the persons who have helped us. May it
please His Majesty to protect us always and give us His grace so
that we will not be ungrateful for so many favors, amen.15
17. You have seen, daughters, that we have undergone some
trials, although I believe I have written about the least part of
them. For it would be tiresome if I had to describe in detail the
roads, the rain and snow, and getting lost and, above all, fre-
quently, my very poor health. With regard to this latter it hap-
pened to me— I don't know if I mentioned it— that on the first
day of our journey from Malagon to Beas I was traveling with a
fever and so many illnesses all together that while considering
the distance we still had to travel and seeing myself in this condi-
tion I remembered our Father Elijah when he was fleeing from
Jezebel, and said: "Lord, how can I suffer this? You take
care."16 The truth is that when His Majesty saw me so weak, He
suddenly took away my fever and illness. This so happened that
afterward when I thought about it I figured that perhaps it was
because a priest, a servant of God, was going to enter the order
there; 17 at least the exterior and interior illnesses were suddenly
taken away. When I had good health, I underwent the bodily
hardships with joy.
18. Well, putting up with the many different personalities
248
St. Teresa of Avila
one necessarily finds in every town caused no small amount of
trouble. And to leave my daughters and Sisters when going from
one place to another, was not the smallest cross, I tell you, since
I love them so much; especially when I thought I was not going
to return to see them again and I saw their great sadness and
tears. Even though they are detached from other things, God
has not given them the gift to be detached from me, perhaps so
that it might be a greater torment to me, for I am not detached
from them either, even though I forced myself as much as I
could so as not to show it and I reprimanded them. But this was
of little help since their love for me is great, and in many ways it
is obvious that this love is true.
1 9 . You have heard how it was not just with the permission of
our Most Reverend Father General that these foundations were
made but that I was ordered under obedience by him afterward
to do so.18 And not only this, but he used to write to me about
the great joy each new house that was founded gave him. As-
suredly, the greatest relief I experienced in the midst of the trials
was to see the happiness this work gave to him, for it seemed
to me that by giving him this happiness I was serving our Lord
since he is my major superior, and besides this I love him much.
20. That which came about next did so either because His
Majesty desired to give me some rest or because the devil was
displeased that so many houses were being founded where our
Lord was being served. (It was easy to understand that what
came about was not the will of our Father General because he
had written me not many years before in answer to my request
not to found any more houses that he would not stop ordering
me to do so because he wanted me to make as many foundations
as I had hairs on my head.) Before I came back from Seville, a
general chapter was held. In a general chapter one would think
they would be concerned about the expansion of the order, but
instead the definitory gave me a command not merely to make
no more foundations but not to leave the house in which I chose
to reside, which would be a kind of prison, for there is no nun
who for necessary matters pertaining to the good of the order
cannot be ordered by the provincial to go from one place to
another, I mean from one monastery to another. And what was
Foundations-Chapter 27
249
worse and what made me sad was that our Father General was
displeased with me, without any reason at all, because of infor-
mation given by biased persons.19
Along with this I was told of two other serious calumnies that
were raised against me. I tell you, Sisters, so that you will see the
mercy of our Lord and how His Majesty does not abandon the
one who desires to serve Him. For these calumnies not only failed
to make me sad but gave me so great an accidental joy20 that I
could not restrain myself. As a result, I'm not surprised at what
David did when he went before the ark of the Lord,21 for be-
cause of my joy which I didn't know how to conceal I wanted to
do nothing else at the time. I don't know the reason, for this has
never happened to me in all the other great criticism and op-
position I have received. Moreover, one of these two calumnies
spoken against me was most serious. But the command not to
make foundations— aside from the displeasure of our Most Rev-
erend Father General— brought me great tranquility and was
what I was often desiring: to end my days in quiet. But this was
not what those who devised this were intending. They wanted to
inflict on me the greatest sorrow in the world, and perhaps they
may have had other good intentions.
21. On occasion, also, the strong opposition and criticism
(sometimes offered with good intentions and at other times for
other purposes) that I received in making these foundations
gave me great joy. But I don't ever remember, no matter how
much the hardship, experiencing happiness as great as I did in
this instance. For I confess that at other times any one of these
three things that came all together would have been a severe
trial for me. I believe that my main joy came from my thinking
that since creatures repaid me like this I was pleasing the Crea-
tor. For I am convinced that he who looks for joy in earthly things
or in words of praise from men is very much mistaken, without
mentioning the little advantage there is in them. Today people
will think one thing, tomorrow another; at one time they will
speak well of something; soon they will speak badly of it. May
You be blessed, my Lord and my God, for You are unchange-
able forever and ever, amen. The one who serves unto the end
will live without end in Your eternity.22
250
St. Teresa of Avila
22. I began to write about these foundations by order of
Father Maestro Ripalda of the Society of Jesus, as I said at the
beginning,23 for he was then the rector of the College in Sala-
manca and my confessor. While I was in the monastery of St.
Joseph in that city in 1573, I wrote about some of these founda-
tions. But because of my many duties I set the work aside. I did
not want to continue, for Father Ripalda was no longer my con-
fessor, and we lived in different places, and also because of the
great hardship and trials that what I have written cost me; al-
though since I was always ordered to do so under obedience, I
consider them well worthwhile. Though I was determined to
write no more, the apostolic commissary, who is now Maestro
Fray Jeronimo Gracian de la Madre de Dios, ordered me to fin-
ish the account of these foundations. Being wretched in the
practice of obedience, I told him of the little opportunity I had
and other things that came to my mind and also that the task
was very tiring for me on top of all the other things I had to do.
Nonetheless, he ordered me to finish them little by little as best I
could. This I did submitting in everything to what those who
know about these things might want to delete. What is poorly
expressed, let them delete, for perhaps what seems to me better
will sound bad to them.
I have finished today, the vigil of St. Eugene, the fourteenth
day of the month of November in the year 1576 in the monas-
tery of St. Joseph in Toledo. This is where I now reside by order
of Father Apostolic Commissary, Maestro Fray Jeronimo Gracian
de la Madre de Dios, whom we now have as superior for the
discalced friars and nuns of the primitive rule, and who is also
visitator for those of the mitigated rule living in Andalusia. May
this work contribute to the honor and glory of our Lord Jesus
Christ who reigns and will reign forever, amen.
For the love of our Lord, I beg the Sisters and Brothers who
might read this to recommend me to our Lord that He might
have mercy on me and free me from the pains of purgatory, if I
should be there, and let me enjoy Him. Since you will not see
this while I am living, may the weariness I experienced in writ-
ing it as well as the great desire I had to say something that would
be consoling to you, if you are allowed to read it, be of some
benefit to me after my death.24
The Foundations — Chapter 28
251
Chapter 28
The foundation of Villanueva de la fara. 1
The foundation in Seville, made more than four years
ago,2 was the last one. It was the last because of the great
persecutions that broke out unexpectedly against the discalced
friars and nuns. Although there had been many persecutions
before, they were not so extreme. Now the whole undertaking
was at the point of collapse. It was clearly seen how much the
devil resented this holy beginning, which our Lord had initiated,
and also that this was the Lord's own work since it was growing.
The discalced friars suffered very much, especially the superi-
ors, from serious false testimony and opposition on the part of
almost all the calced Fathers.3
2. These Fathers informed our Most Reverend Father Gen-
eral4 in such a way that even though he was a holy man and had
given permission for all the monasteries (with the exception of
St. Joseph's in Avila, which was the first, for this was founded
with the permission of the pope), he was urged to oppose strongly
any new foundations among the discalced friars. Toward the
monasteries of the nuns, he was always well disposed. And so
that I might not be helping the friars make foundations, he was
induced into becoming displeased with me, which was the great-
est trial I suffered in the work of these foundations, even though
I have suffered many. On the one hand, very learned men who
were my confessors would not agree that I should stop and coun-
seled me to help toward the growth of the work, pointing out
that I clearly rendered service to our Lord and helped toward
the increase of our order; and on the other hand, going against
the will of my superior was like a death to me. For apart from
the obligation I had toward him because he was my superior, I
loved him very tenderly and there were many reasons for obeying
him. It is true that even though I wanted to please him by obey-
ing this order, I could not because there were apostolic visitators
whom I was obliged to obey.5
3. A holy nuncio died who greatly promoted virtue and, as a
result, esteemed the discalced. Another nuncio arrived who it
252
St. Teresa of Avila
seems had been sent by God to test us in suffering. He was a dis-
tant relative of the pope, and he must be a servant of God, but he
began to take seriously to favoring the calced6 and in conformity
with the information they gave him about us he was convinced
that the right thing to do was to put a stop to these foundations.
Thus, he began to act with the greatest severity, condemning
those he thought could oppose him by imprisoning them or send-
ing them into exile.
4. Those who suffered most were: Father Fray Antonio de Je-
sus, who was the one who started the first monastery of discalced
friars; Father Fray Jeronimo Gracian, whom the former nuncio
made apostolic visitator to the Fathers of the cloth7 and with
whom the new nuncio was greatly displeased; and Father Mar-
iano de San Benito. I have already mentioned who these Fathers
are in writing of the preceding foundations. On other friars,
among the more outstanding ones, he imposed penances, al-
though not so severely. He issued many censures to prevent
them from carrying on any business.
5. It was obvious that all this came from God and that His
Majesty permitted it for a greater good and so that the virtue of
these Fathers would be better known. The nuncio appointed a
superior from the Fathers of the cloth to visit the monasteries of
our friars and nuns,8 which would have been a great hardship
for us if what he thought was going on had been a fact. Still, the
hardship that was suffered was very great. This will be recorded
in writing by someone who knows better how to write about it. I
am only touching on the matter so that the nuns that are to come
will know how obliged they are to advance in perfection, since
from that which has cost so much to those who are now living they
will benefit free of trouble. For some of the nuns now living have
suffered very much in these times from serious false testimony,
which grieved me far more than what I was undergoing, for this
latter was rather a great delight for me. It seemed to me that I was
the cause of this storm, and that if they would have thrown me into
the sea, as they did Jonah, the tempest would have stopped.9
6. May God who favors truth be praised! And this is what
happened here, for since our Catholic king, Don Philip, knew of
what was going on and was informed of the life and religious ob-
The Foundations — Chapter 28
253
servance of the discalced, he took the initiative to favor us. Thus,
he did not want our cause to be judged by the nuncio alone but
gave him four counselors, responsible persons, three of whom
were religious, so that our rights would be carefully looked after. 10
One of these was the Father Maestro Fray Pedro Fernandez, a
person of very holy life, great learning and intelligence. He had
been apostolic commissary and visitator of the Fathers of the
cloth in the Castile province, and we discalced had also been
subject to him. He knew well the truth about how each group
lived, for the desire of us all was nothing other than that this be
known. And so when I saw that the king had named him, I con-
sidered the matter taken care of, as by the mercy of God it is. May
it please His Majesty that this all be for His honor and glory.
Although there were many noblemen and bishops who made
haste to inform the nuncio of the truth, all this would have ben-
efited little if God had not chosen the king to intervene.
7. We are all very much obliged in our prayers to our Lord,
Sisters, to recommend the king and those who have helped this
cause. It is the Lord's cause and our Lady's, the Blessed
Virgin's, and so I urge you to do this. Well you can imagine,
Sisters, what little possibility there was for making any founda-
tions. We were all occupied unceasingly in prayers and
penances so that our Lord would preserve the houses already
founded if doing so would be for His service.
8. I was in Toledo when these great trials started, which de-
scribed so briefly will seem small to you but when suffered for so
long a time were very great. I had arrived there from the founda-
tion in Seville in 1576. A priest from Villanueva de la Jara
brought me letters from the town council there. He came to ne-
gotiate with me and ask that I accept as a monastery a shrine in
that town dedicated to the glorious St. Anne where nine women
were living together. This shrine has a little house nearby where
for some years these women were living with so much recollection
and holiness that the whole town was moved to seek to help them
attain their desires to become nuns. I also received a letter from a
doctor, the priest in this town, named Agustin de Ervias,11 a
learned man of great virtue. Because of his virtue he was moved
to help this holy work as much as he could.
254
St. Teresa of Avila
9. It seemed to me that for the following reasons it would
have been completely unsuitable to accept this foundation:
First, there were so many women, and it seemed to me it would
be very difficult for them to adapt to our way of life when they
were used to their own. Second, they had almost nothing to live
on, and the population of the place is little more than a thou-
sand which is not much help for living on alms. (Although the
town council offered to support them, it didn't seem to me to be
a stable offer.) Third, they didn't have a house. Fourth, the
place was far from where these other monasteries were located.
Fifth, although I was told that these women were very good, I
had not seen them and so could not verify whether they had the
qualities we require for these monasteries. Thus I decided to
turn down the proposal entirely.
1 0 . Before doing so , I wanted to speak with my confessor who
was Doctor Velazquez, a canon and professor in Toledo, a very
learned and virtuous man, who is now bishop of Osma.12 For it
is always my custom never to do anything on my own but rather
to seek the opinion of persons like him. When he saw the letters
and understood the matter he told me not to turn the proposal
down but to answer in a friendly manner, for when God has
joined so many hearts for the sake of something, one may sup-
pose that He will be served by it. This I did, for I neither ac-
cepted it entirely nor turned it down. They continued entreat-
ing and getting influential persons to intercede with me until
this year of 1580. My opinion was always that it would be foolish
to agree to this request. When I responded I could never give a
completely negative answer.
11. It happened that when Father Fray Antonio de Jesus
completed his time of exile at the monastery of our Lady of Suc-
cor,13 he went to preach in Villanueva which is three leagues
away. And the present prior of this monastery, Father Fray Ga-
briel de la Asuncion, a person of very good judgment and a ser-
vant of God, also came often to this town,14 for he and Father
Antonio were friends of Doctor Ervias, and they began to con-
verse with these holy Sisters. Becoming admirers of their virtue
and persuaded by the townspeople and the doctor, they took
this matter upon themselves as their own and through letters
The Foundations — Chapter 28
255
tried very hard to persuade me. And while I was at St. Joseph's
in Malagon, which is more than twenty-six leagues from Villa-
nueva, this prior came to speak to me about the foundation, giv-
ing me an account of what could be done and how after it was
made Doctor Ervias would give three hundred ducats income
from what he received from his benefice; that permission would
be obtained from Rome.
12. This looked very unsure, since it seemed to me that after
the foundation was made they would drag their feet saying that
the little the Sisters had was quite enough. And then I put forth
many reasons, in my opinion sufficient, to convince Father
Prior that it would not be suitable to make a foundation, and I
said that he and Father Antonio should consider these carefully;
and I left the matter on their conscience, thinking that what I
had said sufficed for refusing to make the foundation.
13. After he had gone, I considered how much in favor he
was of the foundation and that he would persuade the superior
we now have, who is Fray Angel de Salazar, to accept it. I wrote
to the latter with haste begging him not to give this permission
and telling him the reasons. From what he wrote to me after-
ward, he would not have wanted to give the permission unless
the foundation seemed to me a good thing.
14. A month and a half went by, or perhaps a little more.
When I thought I had put a stop to the matter, a messenger
came with letters from the town council, which took on the
obligation to provide for the needs of the monastery, from Doc-
tor Ervias who obliged himself to what I mentioned, and — very
enthusiastic ones — from these two reverend Fathers. I found
myself very confused. On the one hand, I had great fear of
admitting so many Sisters thinking that as usually happens they
would band together against those others who would join them;
and on the other hand, I did not see a sure means for their sup-
port, because that which was offered amounted to nothing very
impressive. Afterward I understood that my confusion was from
the devil, for even though the Lord had given me so much cour-
age, I had become fainthearted to the point that it doesn't seem
I was trusting God at all. But the prayers of those good souls in
the end prevailed.
256
St. Teresa of Avila
15. One day after I received Communion I was recommend-
ing this matter to God as I often used to do. For what made me
answer them somewhat favorably was the fear of hindering spir-
itual progress in souls, for my desire is always to be some means
by which our Lord may be praised and that there be more to
serve Him. While I was praying in this way, His Majesty repri-
manded me sternly, asking me with what treasures that which
had been done so far had been accomplished and telling me
that I should not hesitate to accept this house, that it would be
for His great service and the spiritual progress of souls.
16. Since these locutions from God are so powerful, not only
does the intellect understand them but it is enlightened so as to
understand the truth, and the will is disposed to the desire to
carry them out; and this is what happened to me. For not only
was I glad to accept the foundation but it seemed to me that I
had been at fault in delaying so long and being tied to human
reason when the works I had seen His Majesty do for this sacred
religious order were so beyond reason.
17. Having decided to accept this foundation, it seemed to
me necessary, for many reasons that occurred to me, that I go
with the nuns who were to live there. My human nature resisted
very much, for I had arrived in Malagon15 very sick and have
always been so. But since I thought the foundation would serve
our Lord, I wrote to my superior to order me to do what he
thought best. He sent the license for the foundation and the
command that I go personally and bring the nuns of my choice.
This latter worried me a great deal since the nuns would have to
live with those women who were already there. Praying to our
Lord very much over this matter, I took two from the monastery
of St. Joseph's in Toledo, one of them for prioress, and two from
Malagon, one of them for subprioress. 16 Since we had prayed so
much to His Majesty, things turned out very well, which to me
was no small matter; for in the foundations that we begin by
ourselves alone, the nuns adapt to each other well.
18. Father Fray Antonio de Jesus and Father Fray Gabriel de
la Asuncion came for us. Given an assurance of help from the
town, we left Malagon on the Saturday before Lent, the thir-
teenth of February in 1580. God was pleased to make the weather
The Foundations — Chapter 28
so good and give me such health that it seemed to me I had
never been sick. I was surprised and reflected on how very im-
portant it is not to consider our weak state of health or any op-
position that occurs when we understand that something serves
the Lord since God is powerful enough to make the weak strong
and the sick healthy. And when our Lord does not do this, suf-
fering will be the best thing for our souls; and fixing our eyes on
His honor and glory, we should forget ourselves. What is the
purpose of life and health save that they be lost for so great a
King and Lord? Believe me, Sisters, you will never go astray in
following this path.
19. I confess that my wretchedness and weakness have often
made me fear and doubt. But I don't remember that from the
time the Lord gave me the habit of a discalced nun, and some
time before this, He ever failed to grant me the favor, solely out
of His mercy, to conquer these temptations and throw myself in-
to what I understood to be for His greater service however diffi-
cult it was. I understand clearly that what I did for my part was
little, but God wants no more than our determination so that He
may do everything Himself. May He be forever blessed and
praised, amen.
20. We had to go to the monastery of our Lady of Succor, al-
ready mentioned, 17 which is three leagues from Villanueva, and
stay there so as to inform the town that we were coming, which
had been agreed upon with these Fathers, and it was right that
in everything I obey these Fathers with whom we were traveling.
This house stood in a delightfully isolated and solitary spot. And
as we approached, the friars came out in procession to meet
their prior. Since they were discalced and wore their poor,
coarse woolen mantles, they inspired us all with devotion and
moved me to tender feelings since it seemed to me that I was
present in that flourishing time of our holy Fathers of old. In
that field, they appeared to be like white fragrant flowers, and
indeed I believe that before God they are, for in my opinion He
is authentically served there. They entered the church singing
the Te Deum with voices very restrained. The entrance to it is
underground, as though through a cave, which represented
that of our Father Elijah. 18 Certainly, I was feeling so much in-
258
St. Teresa of Avila
terior joy that I would have considered a longer journey well
worthwhile. I regretted very much that the saintly woman
through whom our Lord founded this house was now dead. I
didn't deserve to see her, although I had desired to do so very
much.19
21. It seems to me that it would not be an idle thing to tell
something here about her life and the means by which our Lord
desired that this monastery be founded there. It has been of
such benefit to souls in the surrounding area, as I have been
told. On seeing the penance that was done by this holy woman,
may you realize, my Sisters, how far behind we are and may you
try harder to serve our Lord. There is no reason that we should
do less, for we do not come from such noble and refined family
descent. Although this is not important, I am mentioning it be-
cause she had lived a comfortable life in keeping with her status
in society, for she was a descendant of the dukes of Cardona and
thus she was called Dona Catalina de Cardona.20 After she had
written to me a few times, she signed her letter with only the
words, "the sinner."
22. Those who will write about her life will recount more in
detail the many things that could be said about it before the
Lord began to grant her such great favors. But in case you
might not come to know of it, I will tell here what some trust-
worthy persons who knew her told me.
23. While this saintly woman was living among the nobility,
she was always very concerned about her soul and did penance.
The desire for penance greatly increased in her and also the
longing to go where she could be alone to enjoy God and dedi-
cate herself to doing penance without any hindrance. She spoke
of this with her confessors, but they did not give their consent. I
am not surprised that this seemed madness to them, since now-
adays the world is very rooted in discretion and has almost for-
gotten the great favors God granted to the many holy men and
women who served Him in the desert. But since His Majesty al-
ways favors authentic desires, enabling one to carry them out,
He ordained that she go for confession to a Franciscan Father
whose name is Fray Francisco de Torres. I know him well and
consider him a saint. For many years he has been living a life of
The Foundations — Chapter 28
259
intense fervor, penance, and prayer, and been suffering many
persecutions. He must know well the favors God grants to those
who strive to receive them, and thus he told her not to give up
but to follow the calling His Majesty granted her. I don't know if
these were the exact words, but they must have been something
like this since she carried them out at once.
24. She disclosed her plans to a hermit who was living in Al-
cala and, without ever telling anyone about them, asked him to
accompany her.21 They arrived at the place where the monas-
tery now stands, and there she found a tiny cave hardly large
enough for her; here he left her. But what love must have been
hers since she wasn't worried about what there might be to eat
or about the dangerous things that could happen to her, or
about the bad reputation she would have when it was discovered
that she had disappeared. How inebriated must have been this
holy soul, so absorbed in not letting anyone prevent her from
enjoying her Spouse. And how determined she was not to love
the world, since she thus fled from all its satisfactions.
25. Let us consider this well, Sisters, and reflect on how with
one blow she conquered everything. For although what you do
by entering this holy religious order, offering your will to God,
and professing so continual an enclosure may not be less, I won-
der whether, in the case of some, a part of this initial fervor does
not pass away and out of self-love we make ourselves subject
again to some things. May it please the divine Majesty that this
not be so, but that since we imitate this holy woman in desiring
to flee from the world we may interiorly stay far away from it in
all things.
26. I have heard many things about the harsh austerity of her
life, and what is known must be the smallest part of it. She must
have treated her body terribly because she lived for many years
in that solitude with such great desires to do penance and no one
to restrain her. I will mention what some persons heard from
her directly as well as what the nuns at St. Joseph's in Toledo
heard. She went to visit these latter and spoke with them as can-
didly as with her own sisters. She spoke thus with other persons,
too, for her simplicity and humility must have been great. And
as one who was convinced that she had nothing of herself, she
260
St. Teresa of Avila
was far removed from any kind of vainglory and she enjoyed
telling about the favors God granted her so that through them
His name might be praised and glorified. Doing this would be
dangerous for those who have not reached this state, for, at
least, it will seem that they are praising themselves. But her can-
didness and holy simplicity must have freed her from this fault,
for I never heard anyone accuse her of it.
27. She said that she had been living in that cave eight years
and that on many days she ate only herbs and roots from the
field, for after the three loaves of bread given her by the hermit
who accompanied her were gone, she had no more until met by
a little shepherd who was passing by. Afterward, he provided
her with bread and flour, with which she made small cakes
baked over the fire. This was all she ate, and she did so only on
each third day. This fact is very certain, for even the friars who
are there testify to it, and this went on after she was already very
thin and wasted. Sometimes when she went to speak with the fri-
ars about how to found a monastery they made her eat a sar-
dine, or other things,22 and rather than benefit from this she
was harmed. She never drank wine as far as I know. She took the
discipline with a heavy chain, and it used to last often two hours
or an hour and a half. The chains she wore were extremely
sharp, for a person told me (a woman)23 that in going there on
pilgrimage she remained for the night and feigning sleep she
saw her taking the chains off and cleaning them since they were
full of blood. But according to what she told the nuns I men-
tioned,24 that which she underwent with the devils was greater,
for they appeared to her as huge dogs, and jumped up on her
shoulders, and at other times as snakes. She had no fear at all of
them.
28. After the monastery was built, she still used to go to her
cave, sleep there, and remain there except when she attended
the Divine Office. And before the monastery was founded she
used to go for Mass to that of the Mercedarians,25 which was a
quarter of a league away; and sometimes she went on her knees.
Her garb was made of coarse cloth, and her inner tunic of rough
wool,26 made in such a way that she was thought to be a man.
After these years that she lived there in such solitude, our
The Foundations— Chapter 28
261
Lord desired that her way of life become known, and the people
began to venerate her so much that she could not get away from
them. She spoke to everyone with great charity and love. As
time went on, a greater concourse of people came; and those
who were able to speak to her considered themselves lucky. She
was so worn out from this that she said they were killing her.
There were days when the whole field was almost filled with wa-
gons. After the friars came there, there was no other remedy
than for them to have her lifted up high so that she could bless
all the people, and with that they were freed of them. After
eight years in which she lived in the cave (which was now larger,
for it had been made so by those who had gone there), she be-
came so sick that she thought she was going to die, and she suf-
fered it all in that cave.
29. She began to have desires that a monastery of friars be
founded there, and these persisted for some time without her
knowing from which order they would come. Once while pray-
ing before a crucifix she always carried with her, our Lord
showed her a white mantle, and she understood that they would
come from the discalced Carmelites, and she had never known
that there were friars like this in the world. At that time only two
monasteries of friars had been founded, Mancera and Pastrana.
After this experience, she must have inquired. When she learned
there was a monastery in Pastrana and since she had been in the
past a close friend of the princess of Eboli, wife of Prince Ruy
Gomez, to whom Pastrana belonged, she went there to find out
how she might make this foundation which she had been desir-
ing so much.
30. There at the monastery of Pastrana, in the church of St.
Peter, for this it is called, she received the habit of our Lady,27
although not with the intention of being a nun or of making
profession, for she was never inclined toward being a nun since
our Lord was leading her by another path. It seemed to her that
if she professed obedience her plan to live in harsh austerity and
solitude would be frustrated. All the friars were present when
she received the habit of our Lady of Mt. Carmel.
31. In their company was Father Mariano, whom I men-
tioned in these foundations.28 He told me that he himself had
262
St. Teresa of Avila
experienced at the time a suspension or rapture that carried
him completely out of himself and that while in this state he saw
many dead friars and nuns. Some were beheaded, some had
their arms and feet cut off as though they were martyred, for
martyrdom is what this vision was pointing to. And he is not the
type of man who would tell what he had not seen, nor has his
spirit ever been accustomed to these suspensions, for God does
not lead him by such a path. Pray to God, Sisters, that this vi-
sion will come true and that we will merit in our times to see so
great a blessing and be ourselves among the martyrs.
32. From here, that is, from Pastrana, the holy woman of
Cardona began to seek the means to found her monastery and
for this purpose she went back to the court which she had so ea-
gerly left before. Doing this must have been no small torment; it
was a place where she underwent much criticism and trial.
When she left the house where she was staying, she wasn't able
to protect herself from the crowd. This happened wherever she
went. Some cut pieces from her habit, others from her mantle.
She then went to Toledo where she stayed with our nuns. All of
them have affirmed to me that the odor of sanctity emanating
from her was so great that it permeated even her cincture and
habit, which she exchanged for another given her by the nuns;
it was something to praise God for. And the closer they came to
her the greater was this fragrance, even though her manner of
dress, because of the intense heat, would rather have caused a
bad odor. I know that they wouldn't say anything but the com-
plete truth, and thus they were left with great devotion.
33. In the court and elsewhere they gave her the means for
the monastery, and once she obtained the license, it was founded.
The church was built at the place where her cave was. Another
cave was made for her further away in which she had a tomb
carved out,29 and she remained there most of the day and night.
She lived this way only a short time, for about five and a half
years after the monastery was built. That she lived even as long
as she did seemed supernatural because of her harsh, austere
life. Insofar as I can remember, she died in 1577. Her funeral
services were held with greatest solemnity, for a gentleman
named Fray Juan de Leon30 had great devotion to her and ar-
The Foundations — Chapter 28
263
ranged it all with much care. She is now buried temporarily in a
chapel of our Lady, to whom she was extremely devoted, until a
church larger than the one they have now will be built to keep
her blessed body as is fitting.
34. Great is the devotion they have to her in this monastery,
and it seems it remained there and in the surrounding area, es-
pecially when they beheld that solitude and cave in which she
lived. The friars have testified to me that before she decided to
found the monastery, she became so wearied and afflicted at
seeing the large number of people coming to see her that she
wanted to go to another place where no one would know of her.
She sent for the hermit who brought her there so that he might
bring her elsewhere, but he was dead. And our Lord who was
resolved that this house of our Lady be founded there did not al-
low her to leave, for as I have said,31 I know He is served very
much there. The friars have all that is necessary for their way of
life, and it is clear that they like to be isolated from people; espe-
cially the prior,32 for God also drew him away from a life of
much luxury and has repaid him with spiritual consolation.
35. The prior was very charitable toward us. The friars con-
tributed to our foundation from what they had in the church,
for since this holy woman was much loved by so many noble per-
sons, their church was well provided with sacred furnishings. I
was very much consoled during the time I was there, although
this was accompanied by much shame which continues. I saw
that the one who had done such harsh penance there was a
woman like me, but more delicate because of her background,
and not so great a sinner as I. For in this matter there is no com-
parison between us, and I have received much greater favors of
many kinds from our Lord, and that I am not in hell because of
my sins is among the greatest of favors. The desire alone to imi-
tate her, if I could, consoled me; but not much, for all my life
has passed in desires, but the deeds I do not perform. May the
mercy of God help me. In Him I have always trusted through
His most sacred Son and the Virgin, our Lady, whose habit I
wear through the goodness of the Lord.
36. One day when I had just received Communion in that
holy church, very great recollection came over me with a sus-
264
St. Teresa of Avila
pension that drew me out of myself. In this suspension, through
an intellectual vision, this holy woman appeared in a glorified
body and some angels with her. She told me not to grow weary
but that I should strive to go ahead with these foundations. I un-
derstood, although she did not indicate this, that she was helping
me before God. She also told me something else but there is no
reason to put it here in writing. I was left very much consoled and
with a great desire to work hard, and I hope in the goodness of the
Lord that with help as good as are these prayers of hers I will be
able to serve Him in some way.
You can see here, my Sisters, how her trials have now come to
an end, but the glory she enjoys will have no end. Let us now force
ourselves for love of our Lord, to follow this sister of ours. Holding
ourselves in abhorrence as she abhorred herself, we will finish our
day's journey, for it goes by so quickly and all comes to an end.
37 . We arrived in Villanueva de la Jara on the first Sunday of
Lent, the feast of St. Barbaciani,33 the vigil of the feast of the
Chair of St. Peter, in the year 1580. On this same day at the time
of the high Mass, the Blessed Sacrament was reserved in the
church of the glorious St. Anne.34 The city council and some
others along with Doctor Ervias came out to receive us, and we
got down from our wagons at the church in the town, which was
quite far from St. Anne's. The joy of the whole town was so
great. It gave me much consolation to see the happiness with
which they received the order of the Blessed Virgin, our Lady.
We had heard from afar the peal of the church bells. Once we
were inside the church, they began the Te Deum, one verse sung
by the choir and the other played by the organ. When it was fin-
ished, they carried the Blessed Sacrament on one portable plat-
form and a statue of our Lady on another, and crosses and ban-
ners. The procession proceeded with much pomp. We were in
the middle near the Blessed Sacrament with our white mantles
and our veils covering our faces, and next to us were many of
our discalced friars from their monastery and Franciscans from
the monastery of St. Francis that was located there, and one Do-
minican who happened to be present (even though he was alone
it made me happy to see that habit there). Since the distance
was great, there were many altars set up along the way. From
The Foundations — Chapter 28
265
time to time the procession stopped and some verses were re-
cited in honor of our order which moved us to great devotion. So
did the sight of all of them praising the great God present in our
midst and the fact that because of Him they paid so much honor
to us seven poor, little discalced nuns who were there. While I
was engaged in all these reflections, I became very ashamed in
recalling that I was among them and that if they were to do
what I deserved they would all turn against me.
38. I have given you so long an account of this honor that was
rendered to the habit of the Virgin so that you might praise our
Lord and beg Him that he be served in this foundation. I am
happier when there is much persecution and many trials, and I
tell about them more eagerly. The truth is that these Sisters that
were here suffered persecution and trial for almost six years, at
least for the five and a half years that they were in this house of
the glorious St. Anne. They suffered these in addition to the
great poverty and hardship they had in earning their food, for
they never wanted to ask for alms. The reason for the latter was
that they didn't think the purpose of their being in the monas-
tery was that others might give them to eat. Furthermore, they
did great penance, both by fasting often and eating little, and
by their uncomfortable beds and very small house, which was a
great hardship because of the strict enclosure that they always
observed.
39. Their greatest trial, they told me, came from their in-
tense desire to see themselves clothed with the habit. This was a
terrible torment to them day and night since they thought they
might never see the desire fulfilled, and thus all their prayers,
frequently accompanied by tears, were that God might grant
them this favor. And whenever some delay came along, they be-
came extremely distressed and increased their penance. They
deprived themselves of food in order to pay from their earnings
the messengers sent to me and also for the gifts of gratitude, in
their poor way, to those who were able to help them in some
way. After having spoken with them and seen their holiness, I
well understand that it was through their prayers and tears that
they obtained the favor to be admitted into the order. And thus
I considered it a far greater treasure to have souls like these in
266
St. Teresa of Avila
the order than to have a good deal of income, and I hope that
the house will prosper.
40. Well when we entered the house, all were inside at the
door. Each one was dressed in her individual way, as she was
when she entered, and they never wanted to wear the habit of
beatas35 since they were hoping for this foundation, although
what they were wearing was very simple. It appeared from their
indifferent manner of dress that they took little care of them-
selves, and almost all were so thin that their life of great penance
was evident.
41 . They received us with many tears of great joy. It was ob-
vious that these were not feigned, nor were their great virtues,
their joy, humility, and obedience to the prioress. They don't
know how to please enough those nuns who came to make the
foundation. All their fear was that we might turn around and go
back when we saw their poverty and the small size of their
house. None of them had acted as superior, but with much sis-
terly love each of them worked as much as she could. The two
oldest took care of business matters when necessary; the others
never spoke with anyone, nor did they want to. They had no
lock for the door but only a bolt; none of them dared to go to the
door; only the oldest answered. They slept very little so as to
earn their bread and not lose time for prayer in which they spent
many hours— on feast days the whole day.
42. They guided themselves with books by Fray Luis de Gra-
nada and Fray Peter of Alcantara. They recited the Divine Of-
fice most of the time despite their little ability to read, for only
one of them read well. And they did not have identical breviaries.
Some used old roman breviaries that were given by priests who no
longer used them; others used whatever they could find. And
since they did not know how to read, they spent many hours at
this. They did not recite the Office in a place where they could be
heard by outsiders. God must have accepted their good intention
and effort, for they must have said little that was correct. When
Father Fray Antonio de Jesus began to guide them, he ordered
them to recite only the Office of our Lady. They had their own
oven for baking bread. And they did everything with as much
harmony as they would have done under a superior.
The Foundations — Chapter 28
267
43. All this made me praise our Lord, and the more I dealt
with them the happier I was that I had come. It seems to me that
however many the hardships I would have had to go through, I
would not have wanted to fail to console these souls. My com-
panions who remained there told me that on the very first days
they experienced some opposition, but as they got to know these
new Sisters better and learn of their virtue, they felt very happy
to remain with them and loved them very much. Great is the
power of holiness and virtue. The truth is that even though they
met with many difficulties and trials these Sisters bore them
well, with the favor of the Lord, because they desired to suffer in
His service. And the Sister that does not feel within herself this
desire should not consider herself a true discalced nun, for our
desires must not be for rest but for suffering in order to imitate
in something our true Spouse. May it please His Majesty to give
us grace for this, amen.
44. The origin of this shrine of St. Anne was as follows.
There lived in this town of Villanueva de la Jara a priest born in
Zamora who had been a friar of our Lady of Mt. Carmel. He
was a devotee of the glorious St. Anne. His name was Diego de
Guadalajara, and he built near his house this shrine in which
Mass could be heard. And in his great devotion he went to
Rome and brought back a bull with many indulgences for this
church or shrine. He was a virtuous and recollected man. He
stipulated in his will that after his death this house and all his
possessions be used for a monastery of nuns of our Lady of Mt.
Carmel and that if this could not be done a chaplain be ap-
pointed to say some Masses each week and that if and when the
monastery were built there would be no obligation to say the
Masses.
45. The property so remained, with a chaplain, for more
than twenty years, and the estate diminished in value. When
the women began living in the house, they received only the
house. The chaplain was in another house that belonged to the
same chaplaincy which he will now leave to them along with the
rest of the estate which amounts to very little. But the mercy of
God is so great that He will not fail to favor the house of His
glorious grandmother. May it please His Majesty that He be
268
St. Teresa of Avila
always served in it, and may all creatures praise Him forever
and ever, amen.
Chapter 29
Treats of the foundation of St. Joseph of Our Lady of the Street
in Palencia. It was made in the year 1580 on the feast of King
David. 1
HAVING RETURNED FROM THE FOUNDATION of Villanueva de
la Jara, the major superior2 ordered me to go to Vallado-
lid at the request of the bishop of Palencia, Don Alvaro de Men-
doza. This was the bishop who had accepted and favored the
first monastery, St. Joseph's in Avila,3 and always favors what-
ever pertains to this order. Since he was transferred from the
diocese of Avila to that of Palencia, our Lord inspired him with
the desire to found there another monastery of this sacred or-
der. When I reached Valladolid, I was struck down with so bad
an illness that they thought I was going to die.4 I felt so listless
and so unable even to think of doing anything that I could not
be persuaded even though the prioress of our monastery in Val-
ladolid who desired this foundation very much was pressing me
to go ahead with it.5 But neither could I find any basis for doing
so because the monastery had to be founded in poverty, and
they told me that it could not be sustained because the city was
very poor.
2. For almost a year this foundation had been a subject of
discussion along with that of Burgos. Previously, I had not been
so opposed to it, but now, even though I had not come to Valla-
dolid for any other purpose, I found many obstacles. I don't
know whether this was due to my severe illness and the resulting
weakness or to the devil who wanted to hinder the good that was
done afterward. Indeed, I am surprised and saddened. Often I
complain to our Lord about how much the poor soul shares in
the illness of the body. It seems the soul can do nothing but
abide by the laws of the body and all its needs and changes.
3. One of the great trials and miseries of life, I think, is this
The Foundations — Chapter 29
269
helplessness experienced when there is no strong spirit to bring
the body into submission. For if the soul is alert, I don't con-
sider the suffering of illness and pain a problem, even though
this may be a trial, for the soul is praising God and accepting
this as coming from His hand. But it is a terrible thing on the
one hand to be suffering and on the other not to be doing any-
thing. This is especially true if the soul has experienced great
desires not to rest interiorly or exteriorly but to occupy itself
completely in the service of its great God. It has no other rem-
edy here than patience, knowledge of its misery, and abandon-
ment of itself to the will of God who makes use of it for what He
wants and in the way He wants. This is the condition I was in
then, although I was already convalescing. But, nonetheless,
the weakness was so great that I lost even the confidence God
usually gives me when I begin one of these foundations. Every-
thing looked impossible to me. If I had met some person at the
time to encourage me, this would have been a great help. But
some only added to my fear; others, even though they gave me
some hope, did not encourage me enough to help me overcome
my faintheartedness.
4. It happened that a Father from the Society came there,
named Maestro Ripalda, who had been my confessor some time
before and was a great servant of God.6 1 told him about my sit-
uation, that I wanted to consider him to be standing in God's
place, and asked him to tell me what he thought about the foun-
dation. He began to encourage me very much. He told me that I
was growing old and that this was the reason for my cowardice.
But I saw clearly that this was not the reason, for I am older now
and do not experience such timidity. And he too must have
understood this, but he scolded me so that I wouldn't think God
was behind it. I was then considering the foundations of Palen-
cia and Burgos together, and I had nothing for either of them.
But this was not the cause of the way I felt, for I am used to be-
ginning with less. He told me that I should by no means give
them up. I had been told the same thing a little previously by a
provincial from the Society, named Baltasar Alvarez,7 but at
that time I was well.
5. His words were not enough to get me to make the decision
270
St. Teresa of Avila
to go ahead, although they were very helpful. I did not make up
my mind completely because either the devil, or as I said,8 the
illness held me bound; but I felt much better. The prioress at
Valladolid assisted me as much as she could because she greatly
desired the foundation of Palencia. But since she saw me so
lukewarm about it, she too was afraid. Now let the true ardor
come, for neither the nations nor the servants of God suffice!
Therefore, it is often made clear that it is not I who do anything
in these foundations, but the work is His who is all powerful in
everything.
6 . One day just after having received Communion and in the
midst of this vacillation and indecision about making any foun-
dation, I begged the Lord to enlighten me so that I might do His
will in everything. The lukewarmness was not of the kind that
could ever take away as much as one iota from this desire. Our
Lord answered in a kind of reprehensive way: "What do you
fear? When have I failed you? I am the same now as I was be-
fore. Do not neglect to make these two foundations." O great
God I How different are your words from those of men! I was
thereby left with such determination and courage that the
whole world would not have been enough to oppose me. I began
at once to make arrangements for them, and our Lord began to
give me the means.
7. I took two nuns with me to go and buy the house. Now
even though they told me it was impossible to live on alms in
Palencia, I may as well not have been told, because I already
saw that it was impossible at that time to make a foundation
that could have an income. I knew that since God said I should
found one, His Majesty would provide. Thus, although my
health had not returned entirely, I decided to go despite the
harsh weather. I left Valladolid on the feast of the Holy Inno-
cents in the year that I mentioned,9 for a gentleman had given
us a house he had rented in which we could live from the begin-
ning of the new year until the feast of St. John the Baptist, for he
had gone to live elsewhere.
8. I wrote to a canon of this city even though I did not know
him. 10 But a friend of his told me that he was a servant of God,
and I became convinced that he would be a great help to us. For
The Foundations— Chapter 29
271
the Lord Himself, as seen in the other foundations, chooses in
each place someone to help Him. His Majesty already knows the
little that I can do. I sent a message to beg this gentleman to
have the house vacated as secretly as possible, for it was occu-
pied, and not to tell the occupant who was coming. For even
though some of the nobility showed their good will and the bishop
was very eager for the foundation, I saw that the safest thing was
to keep it from being known.
9 . Canon Reinoso, for that is the name of the one to whom I
wrote, did so good a job that not only did he have the house va-
cated but he provided beds and a plentiful supply of things. We
needed them because the weather was very cold and the previ-
ous day had been a troublesome one with fog so thick we could
hardly see each other. Indeed, we had little rest until we had
prepared a place to say Mass the following day, because before
anyone was aware of it we had arrived. I have found that this
quiet way of arriving is more fitting, for if we begin discussing
opinions, the devil disturbs everything; even though he cannot
gain, he stirs unrest. This is what we did, for early in the morn-
ing, almost at dawn, a priest who came with us, named Porras,
a very good servant of God, said Mass. Also with us was another
friend of the nuns of Valladolid, named Agustm de Victoria,
who had lent me money to furnish the house and with much
care had assisted me on the journey.11
10. There were five of us nuns who went to Palencia. With
us, as well, was a lay Sister, a companion who has for some time
been going about with me. She is a great and discreet servant of
God who can help me more than others who are choir Sisters.12
That night we slept little, although, as I say, the journey had
been laborious because of the heavy rains.
11. I was very pleased that the foundation was made on that
day since the Office was of King David to whom I am devoted.
Immediately that morning I sent word to His Excellency, the
bishop, who did not know yet that I was arriving that day. He
came at once with the great charity he has always shown us. He
told us that he would give us all the bread we needed, and he or-
dered his administrator to provide many things for us. There is
so much that this order owes him, that whoever reads about
272
St. Teresa of Avila
these, its foundations, is obliged to recommend him, whether
living or dead, to our Lord, and this I ask out of charity. The joy
of the people was so great and universal that there was not even
one person who disapproved, which was something very unusual.
Their knowing that the bishop wanted it contributed greatly to
this since he was much loved in that place. The people are among
the most gentle and noble that I have ever seen, and so every day
I rejoice more in having made that foundation there.
12. Since the house was not ours, we immediately began to
negotiate to buy another, for even though this one was up for
sale, it was in a very bad place. And with the help I had from the
nuns who came, it seemed that we could buy something. Al-
though the amount was small, for that city it was a lot. But if
God had not given us the good friends that He did, all would
have been to no avail. For the good canon Reinoso brought a
friend of his, named Canon Salinas,13 of great charity and un-
derstanding, and they were both as concerned as if the matter
were their own— even more so, I believe— and they were always
concerned about that house.
13. There was in the town a shrine that inspired much devo-
tion to our Lady called Our Lady of the Street. The devotion to
her in the city and the entire region is great, and many people
go there. It seemed to His Excellency and to all the people that it
would be good for us to be near that church. It did not have a
house attached to it, but there were two nearby which, if we
bought, would be enough for us along with the church. The
church had to be given to us by both the cathedral chapter and
some members of the confraternity, and thus we started to try to
obtain it. The cathedral chapter made us a gift of it at once,
and although the negotiations with the confraternity were more
difficult, the members also agreed. As I have said,14 if I have
ever seen virtuous people in my life, they are the people of this
town.
14. Since the owners of the houses saw our interest in them,
they began to value them more, and rightly so. I wanted to go to
see the houses, and they looked so bad to me that I didn't want
them at all, nor did those who came with us. Afterward, it was
clearly seen that the devil had a great role to play because it
The Foundations— Chapter 29
273
upset him that we would be there. The two canons who were
negotiating about it thought that the houses were far from the
cathedral, as they were, but in a more populated area of the city.
We finally all decided that those houses were unsuitable for us
and that we should look for another. This is what the two canons
began to do those days. And they did so with such care and
diligence, without failing to look at anything they thought
might be suitable, that it made me praise our Lord. They
became pleased with one house whose owner was named Tamayo.
Some parts of the house were just right for our needs, and it was
near the house of a noble gentleman, named Suero de Vega, who
helps us very much. 15 He as well as other persons in the district
were eager that we make the foundation there.
1 5 . That house was not large enough, but they offered us an-
other along with it, although this other was not the kind that
could be easily adapted to the first. In sum, from the informa-
tion they gave me about it, I desired that we go ahead. But the
canons did not want to do so until I saw the houses first. I am so
reluctant to go into the town, and I trusted so much in them
that they couldn't get me to go. Finally, I went to see them and
also those of our Lady of the Street, although not with the inten-
tion of buying these latter but only so that the owner of the
others would not think that we had no other choice. And they
had looked so bad to me, as I have mentioned,16 and to those
who had come with me that now we are surprised that we could
have thought them so bad. After that, we went to the other
place, determined that those houses would be the ones for us.
Although we found many difficulties, we accepted them. Yet
the houses were not easy to fix up, for in order to make a church,
and even then not a large one, all the good space for living quar-
ters would have had to be taken away.
16. It is a strange thing to be resolved about something. In-
deed, it was providential that I trusted little in myself, although
that time I was not the only one who was mistaken. In sum, we
already had it in mind to buy the houses and no other and to pay
what was asked for them, which was high, and write to the
owner, who was not in the city but nearby.
1 7 . That I have gone into such detail about the buying of the
274
St. Teresa of Avila
houses will seem pointless until it is seen that the devil's aim was
to prevent us from buying those of Our Lady of the Street. Every
time I think of it, it makes me fear.
18. We were all determined, as I have said, 17 not to buy any
other. One day while I was at Mass I became very worried as to
whether I was doing the right thing, and a restlessness came over
me that left me almost no quiet during the whole Mass. I went to
receive the Blessed Sacrament, and immediately after receiving
it I heard these words: "This is the one that suits you." They
were such that they made me resolve definitely not to buy those I
was thinking of but those of Our Lady of the Street.
I began to consider what a difficult thing it would be to do
this since the business deal had been much discussed and was so
dear to those who had looked after it with such care. The Lord
answered me: "They do not understand how much I am offended
there, and this will be a great remedy." It occurred to me that
perhaps this locution might be false, although I could not believe
this, for I recognized clearly from its effects that it was from the
Spirit of God. The Lord said to me at once: "It is I."
19. I was left very peaceful and the disturbance I had before
was taken away, although I did not know how to remedy what
had been done and the many bad things that had been said
about the houses, or what to say to my Sisters to whom I had
stressed how bad the condition of them was and that we should
in no way move there without seeing them. Yet this did not con-
cern me so much, for I already knew that the Sisters would be
agreeable to whatever I might do. But I was concerned about
the others and their desire. It seemed to me they would take me
to be vain and unstable since I changed my mind so quickly,
something I greatly abhor doing. All these thoughts were not
enough to move me either much or little to give up going to the
houses of our Lady, nor did I think about their bad condition.
Provided the nuns could prevent as much as one venial sin, the
rest was of little importance; and in my opinion any of them
knowing what I knew would have agreed with me.
20. I had recourse to the following: My confessor was Canon
Reinoso, one of the two who was helping me. I was not confid-
ing to him spiritual matters of this sort because the occasion had
The Foundations — Chapter 29
275
not arisen in which there was need to do so. Since it has always
been my custom in these matters, so as to walk along a more se-
cure path, to do what the confessor advises me, I decided to tell
him under much secrecy, even though I could not renounce do-
ing what I had heard without feeling much distress. But, in the
end, I told him I trusted our Lord would do what I saw at other
times, for His Majesty changes the mind of the confessor who is
of another opinion so that what He wants is done.
21 . I told him first of how the Lord was accustomed to teach-
ing me often in this way and that up to that point many things
had happened by which it was understood that these experi-
ences were from His Spirit. I recounted what took place but told
him that I would do whatever he thought, even if it would be
painful for me. He is very discreet, holy, and shows good judg-
ment in everything, even though he is young. 18 Although he saw
that there would be unfavorable comment, he decided not to go
against what had been heard. I told him that we should wait for
the messenger,19 and he agreed, for I trusted that God would
take care of things. And so it happened, for even though we had
agreed to all that the owner wanted and had requested, he
asked for another three hundred ducats, which seemed foolish
because we were already paying more than enough. In this we
saw the hand of God because the sale was very good for the
owner, and since the agreement had been made there was no
sense to his asking for more.
22 . What he did helped matters very much, for we said there
would be no end to this. But it didn't help completely, because
it was clear that if the house was suitable for conversion into a
monastery, three hundred ducats wasn't reason enough to forgo
the house. I told my confessor that if he thought we should buy
the house of Our Lady of the Street he shouldn't worry about my
reputation but tell his companion that I was determined to buy
Our Lady of the Street whether it was expensive or cheap, in
miserable condition or good. Since his companion is very intelli-
gent and alert, I believe that in seeing so quick a change he sus-
pected something about my experience even though nothing
was said to him about it, and so he did not press me any further.
23. Afterward we all saw clearly the big mistake we would
276
St. Teresa of Avila
have made in buying the other one. For now we are surprised to
see the great advantages the one has over the other, not to men-
tion the main advantage, for it is clearly seen that our Lord and
His glorious Mother are served there and that many occasions of
sin are being removed. In fact, many night vigils were held
there, and since nothing more was there than the shrine, many
things could be done that the devil was sad to see taken away.
And we were happy to be able to serve in some way our Mother,
Lady, and Patroness. And it was very wrong to have done other-
wise previously, for we should not have considered any other
house. Obviously, the devil was causing blindness in many mat-
ters, for there are many conveniences in Our Lady of the Street
that would not have been found elsewhere. And all the towns-
people were overjoyed for they had been desiring that the mon-
astery be there, and even those who had wanted us to go to the
other house were now very pleased with this one.
24. May He who enlightened me in this regard be blessed for-
ever and ever. And He enlightens me thus in anything I manage
to do well, for each day I am more amazed at the little talent I
have for anything. And don't think that what I'm saying comes
from humility, for each day I see it more clearly. It seems our
Lord desires me and all others to know that it is only His Majesty
who does these works, and that as He gave sight with mud to the
blind man, He wants someone as blind as I to do something
worth more than mud.20 Certainly, in this whole matter there
were things, as I have said,21 involving great blindness, and each
time I recall it, I would like to praise our Lord again for it. But
even for this I'm no good, nor do I know how He puts up with
me. Blessed be His mercy, amen.
25. Well these holy canons, friends of the Virgin, immedi-
ately made haste to negotiate a contract for the houses and, in
my opinion, they got them at a low price. They worked hard, for
in each of these foundations God desires that those who help will
merit. And I am the one who does nothing, as I have said at
other times; and I would never want to stop saying this, because
it is the truth. For they worked very hard in getting the house
ready, and also gave money for it, because I didn't have any,
and together with this they became the guarantors. In other
The Foundations — Chapter 29
277
foundations I had to undergo some anxiety before I found a
guarantor, and not for so large an amount as in this instance.
And that was understandable; the guarantors had to trust the
Lord, for I didn't have a cent. But His Majesty has always granted
me a favor which I consider very great; no one has ever lost
anything by being a guarantor for me, nor was there any failure
to pay back in full.
26. Since the owners of the houses were not satisfied with the
two guarantors, the two went to look for the administrator of
the diocese whose name was Prudencio. (I don't know if I
remember correctly. They tell me this now, for since at that
time we called him the administrator, I did not learn his
name).22 He is so charitable with us, for we owed him much and
still do. He asked them where they were going; they answered
they were looking for him to have him sign that guarantee. He
laughed and said: "Well now, you ask for a guarantee for so
much money in a way like this?" And he signed it at once while
sitting on top his mule, which nowadays is something worth
pondering.
27. I would not want to fail to sing the praises of the charity
that I found in Palencia both in general and in particular. Truly,
it seemed to me like being in the early Church, at least it is not
usual now to see such a thing in the world. We had no income
and they had to provide us with food, and not only were they not
opposed to the foundation but they said that God was doing them
the greatest favor. And if considered in the light of faith, what
they said was the truth, for just to have one more church where
the Blessed Sacrament is reserved is a great deal.
28. May He be blessed forever, amen. For as time goes on it is
becoming clearly understood that our Lord is served by the fact
that the foundation is in that place and that some inappropriate
things must have been done there that are no longer done. Since
many people went there for the night vigil and the shrine was in
an isolated spot, not everyone went out of devotion. The situa-
tion is getting better. The statue of our Lady had been dis-
played with very little reverence. The bishop, Don Alvaro de
Mendoza, had a chapel made in the shrine for it, and little by
little things are being done for the honor and glory of this glori-
278
St. Teresa of Avila
ous Virgin and her Son. May He be praised forever, amen,
amen.
29. Well, when the house was ready for occupation by the
nuns, the bishop wanted this to take place with great solemnity.
And so it did, one day during the octave of the feast of the Blessed
Sacrament.23 He came himself from Valladolid, and the cathe-
dral chapter, the religious orders, and all the people of the city
joined him in the procession. There was much music. We all,
with our white mantles and veils covering our faces, went in pro-
cession from the house where we were staying to a parish that
was close to our Lady's house where the statue was brought to
meet us, and from there we took the Blessed Sacrament and had
it reserved in the church with great and well-organized solem-
nity. It caused much devotion. Other nuns who were on their
way to the foundation in Soria came with us, all carrying can-
dles. I believe that the Lord was very much praised that day in
that city. May it please Him that He be praised forever by all
creatures, amen, amen.
30. While I was in Palencia, God willed that the discalced
Carmelites be separated from the calced. This was done by let-
ting the discalced form their own province, which was all that
we were desiring for the sake of our peace and tranquility. At the
request of our Catholic king, Don Philip, a very long brief was ob-
tained from Rome for this purpose.24 And thus his majesty by ob-
taining this brief favored us as much as he did in the beginning.
The chapter was held in Alcala presided over by a reverend
Father named Fray Juan de las Cuevas who was then prior of
Talavera. He belongs to the Dominican order and was ap-
pointed by Rome after having been nominated by his majesty.
He is a very holy and prudent man, which was necessary for such
a task. The king paid for their expenses, and at his orders the
entire university of Alcala helped them. With much peace and
harmony the chapter was held in the College of St. Cyril, that of
our discalced friars. They elected Father Maestro Gracian de la
Madre de Dios as provincial.25
31. Because these Fathers will write elsewhere about what
took place, there is no reason for me to deal with it. I have men-
tioned the matter because it was while I was engaged in the work
The Foundations— Chapter 29
279
of this foundation that our Lord brought to a conclusion an en-
deavor that was so important for the honor and glory of His glo-
rious Mother since it concerned her order. She is our Lady and
our Patroness. And this for me was one of the great joys and sat-
isfactions of my life. It would take a long time to tell of the trials,
persecutions, and afflictions that I have had to undergo during
the past twenty-five years, and only our Lord can understand
them. Save for anyone who knows the trials that were suffered,
one cannot grasp the joy that came to my heart at seeing the
matter concluded and the desire I had that everybody praise our
Lord and that we pray for this our holy king, Don Philip. By
means of him God brought the matter to a happy ending. Had
it not been for the king, the devil was so cunning that everything
would have collapsed.
32. Now we are all at peace, calced and discalced; no one
can hinder us from serving our Lord. Hence, my Brothers and
Sisters, since His Majesty has heard your prayers so well, let us
make haste to serve Him. Let those in the present who are eye-
witnesses, consider the favors He has granted us and the trials
and disturbances from which He has delivered us. And those
who are to come, when they find everything running smoothly,
let them, for love of our Lord, not neglect anything relating to
perfection. May that which is said of some orders that praise
their beginnings not be said of them. Now we are beginning,
and let them strive to advance always from good to better. Let
them beware, for the devil through very small things drills holes
through which very large things enter. May it not happen that
those who are to come say: "These things are not important;
don't go to extremes/' Oh, my daughters, everything that helps
us advance is important.
33. For love of our Lord I beg you to remember how soon ev-
erything comes to an end, to remember the favor our Lord has
granted us in bringing us to this order and the great punishment
that will befall anyone who might introduce some mitigation.
Rather, fix your eyes always on the ancestry from which we
come, those holy prophets. How many saints we have in heaven
who have worn this habit! Let us adopt the holy presumption
that with the Lord's help we will be like them. The battle will be
280
St. Teresa of Avila
brief, my Sisters, and the end is eternal. Let us set aside these
things that in themelves are nothing, using only those that lead
us to this end without end, so as to love Him and serve Him
more, for He will live forever and ever, amen, amen. Thanks be
to God.
Chapter 30
Begins to treat of the foundation of the monastery of the Blessed
Trinity in the city of Soria. It was founded in 1581. The first
Mass was said on the feast of our Father St. Elisha. 1
While I was occupied with the foundation in Palencia,
which was mentioned, they brought me a letter from
the bishop of Osma, named Doctor Velazquez.2 While he was
canon and professor at the cathedral in Toledo and I was still
experiencing some fears, I sought to consult him because I knew
he was a very learned man and a servant of God. I entreated him
urgently to guide my soul and hear my confession. Although he
was very busy, I asked him to do so for the love of our Lord. He
saw my need and responded so willingly that I was surprised.
And I consulted and confessed to him all the time that I was in
Toledo, which was a long time. I spoke to him about my soul
with complete openness as I usually do. This did me so much
good that from then on my fears began to lessen. True, there
was another reason for consulting him which I won't go into
here. But, in fact, he was very helpful to me because he assured
me with passages from Sacred Scripture, which is what suits me
most when I am sure that one knows it well. I knew he did and
that he lived a good life.
2. This letter was written from Soria where he was at that
time. He told me how a lady, a penitent of his there, spoke to
him about a foundation of our nuns, which she thought would
be a good thing, and that he had told her he would try to con-
vince me to go there to make the foundation. He said I should not
disappoint him and that if I thought the foundation was fitting I
should let him know and he would send for me. I was very happy
Foundations-Chapter 30
because, in addition to the fact that the place was good for a
foundation I wanted to see him and tell him some things about
my soul. I had grown to love him very much because of the great
progress my soul made under his guidance.
3. The name of this lady who wanted the foundation was
Dona Beatriz de Beamonte y Navarra because she is a descen-
dant from the kings of Navarra and is a daughter of Don
Frances de Beamonte who was of a noble and pure lineage.3 She
was married for some years and had no children, but was very
wealthy and for a long time had it in mind to provide for a mon-
astery of nuns. She spoke of this with the bishop and he in-
formed her about the discalced nuns of this order of our Lady.
What he told her pleased her so much that she greatly urged
him to have the foundation made.
4. She is a mild-mannered person, generous and penitent; in
sum, a very great servant of God. She owned a good house that
was well-constructed and in a good location in Soria. She told us
that she would give it to us along with all that was necessary for a
foundation, and this she gave together with a five hundred
ducat annuity at twenty-five per thousand.4 The bishop prom-
ised to give us a very good church with a vaulted ceiling. The
church was a parish church5 but so close by that we were able to
make use of it by means of a covered passageway. The bishop was
easily able to make this offer— for he was poor— because there
were many churches there, and so he moved the parish to another
church. He gave me an account of all this in his letter. I discussed
the matter with Father Provincial who was there at the time.6 He
and my friends thought I should write through a personal mes-
senger. The foundation in Palencia was completed, and I was
very happy about the one in Soria for the reasons mentioned.7
5. I began to gather the nuns I was going to bring with me.
There were seven, for that lady desired that there be more
rather than less, in addition to a lay Sister, my companion, and
myself. Somebody came for us with a stagecoach, which met our
needs, for I had told the bishop that I had to bring two discalced
Fathers with me.8 And so I brought with me Father Nicolas de
Jesus Maria, a man of great perfection and discretion, a native
of Genoa. He was over forty when he received the habit, I think
282
St. Teresa of Avila
— at least he's forty now, and it's only a short while since he took
the habit— but he has advanced so far in a short time that it
seems clear our Lord chose him so that he might help the order
during these very troublesome times of persecution.9 He has
done a good deal. With respect to the others who could have
helped, some were exiled, others imprisoned. Since he had no
office, little attention was paid to him. For as I mentioned, it
was only a short time that he was in the order. Or, God allowed
this that there might be some help left for me.
6 . He is so discreet that while he was staying in the monastery
of the calced Carmelites in Madrid, as though for other business
reasons, he dealt with the affairs of the discalced friars in such a
disguised manner that the calced friars never knew about it,
and so they didn't bother him. We corresponded frequently, for
I was in the monastery of St. Joseph's in Avila, and we dealt with
a suitable course of action, for this consultation gave him satis-
faction. Hence it can be seen what need the order was in since so
much attention was paid to me for want, as they say, of good
men. 10 It was during this time that I had experience of his per-
fection and discretion. Thus he is among those in this order
whom I love much in the Lord and esteem highly.
7. Well, he and his laybrother companion accompanied us.
He had little to do on this journey, for the one sent by the bishop
conducted us in much comfort and was a help in finding good
inns. When we entered the territory of the bishop of Osma, the
people loved the bishop so much that when told that this was
one of his projects they directed us to the good inns. The
weather was fine. The daily journeys were not long. Thus, little
hardship was suffered on this trip; rather, it was a happy one,
for hearing the people's praise of the bishop's holiness brought
me the greatest joy. We arrived in El Burgo de Osma on the
Wednesday before the octave day of the feast of the Blessed Sac-
rament.11 We received Communion there the following day,
which was Thursday, the octave day. Since we could not reach
Soria that day we stopped to eat along the way and passed that
night in a church, which was not a bad place, because there was
no other inn. The next day we heard Mass there and arrived in
Soria around five in the afternoon. The holy bishop stood at a
The Foundations — Chapter 30
283
window in his house and blessed us from there, for we passed
right by. This was no small consolation for me, since a blessing
coming from a bishop and a saint is something to be highly es-
teemed.12
8. That lady, the foundress, was waiting for us at the door
of her house, where the monastery was to be established. We
were anxious to get inside because of the large number of peo-
ple. The crowd was nothing new, for everywhere we go there is
much curiosity. The world is so fond of novelty that were it not
for the veils we wear over our faces, these crowds would be a
great trial. But with these veils, we can put up with them. That
lady had decorated very well a large hall in which Mass was to be
said, for the covered passageway leading to the church given us
by the bishop had to be constructed. 13 On another day, the feast
of our Father St. Elisha, Mass was said.14
9 . That lady had prepared perfectly everything we had need
of, and she let us use that hall, which was conducive to recollec-
tion, until the feast of the Transfiguration15 when the covered
passageway was completed. It was on this feast that the first
Mass in the church was said with great solemnity and in the
presence of a large congregation. A Father from the Society
preached the sermon, for the bishop had returned to El Burgo
de Osma.16 The bishop never loses a day or an hour without
working; although his health was not good, for he had lost his vi-
sion in one eye. This was my affliction in Soria, for it saddened
me that the vision that was so beneficial in the service of the
Lord should be lost. These are God's judgments. He must have
allowed this so that His servant might gain, for the bishop did
not work any less than before, and so as to test His servant's con-
formity with His will. The bishop told me it caused him no more
distress than if it had happened to his neighbor and that some-
times he reflected that it would not grieve him if he lost sight in
the other eye as well because this would allow him to live in a
hermitage serving God without any other obligation. And at
times he used to tell me that before becoming a bishop he had
always felt called to be a hermit, and he had almost decided to
give up everything and go off to become one.
10. I could not bear the thought of this since I thought he was
284
St. Teresa of Avila
of great benefit to the Church of God, and so I wanted him to
have the office he now holds, although the day in which he was
appointed bishop I felt a very great disturbance, since he sent
me word immediately, as though I saw him weighed down with
a heavy burden. I could neither help myself nor find peace, and
I went to the choir to recommend him to the Lord. His Majesty
gave me peace at once, telling me that He would be very much
served by him, and this is what is really happening. Despite the
illness in his eye and many other very painful illnesses and his
everyday work, he fasts four days a week, and does other pen-
ances. His table consists of little that is gratifying. When he
makes his visitations, he always goes on foot. His servants find
this hard to put up with and complained to me about it. They
must either be virtuous or not stay in his house. He has little
trust in allowing important business to be handled by his ad-
ministrators, and even, I think, any business; but he handles
everything himself. In the beginning, for two years, he under-
went the most savage persecutions there from false testimony. I
was amazed because in matters of justice he is a man of integrity
and rectitude. Now these persecutions are diminishing, although
his persecutors had gone to the royal court and wherever they
thought they could do harm. Since the good he is doing through-
out the whole diocese is becoming known, these persecutions
have little effect. And he has borne all of this with such perfec-
tion that he has confounded his persecutors, doing good to those
he knew were doing evil to him. However much he has to do, he
always finds time for prayer.
11. It seems I am becoming absorbed in praising this holy
man, but I have said little. Nothing has been lost since I have
mentioned this in order that it be known who is responsible for
the foundation of the Blessed Trinity of Soria and also for the
consolation of those who are to come, for those who are now
here know the story well. Although he did not provide the in-
come, he gave us the church and inspired this lady with the idea
of the foundation, and, as I have said, 17 she has a great christian
spirit and is virtuous and penitential.18
12. Well, then, once we had taken possession of the church
and prepared what was needed for the enclosure, it was neces-
The Foundations— Chapter 30
285
sary for me to go the the monastery of St. Joseph in Avila, and
thus I departed immediately in the midst of very great heat
along a road that was unfit for wagons.19 A prebendary from
Palencia, named Ribera, accompanied me.20 He was the one
who had been a great help in the work involving the covered
passageway and in everything. The reason for this was that
Father Nicolas de Jesus Maria left immediately after drawing up
the contract, for there was great need of him elsewhere. This
Ribera had certain business to attend to in Soria, and so he
came with us. From then on, God gave him so much willingness
to do good for us that he can be recommended to His Majesty as
a benefactor of the order.
13. I didn't want anyone else to come with my companion
and me,21 because this Ribera is so solicitous that he was enough
for me, and the less noise there is on my journeys the better I
feel. On this journey I paid well for the good trip I had in going
to Soria, for, although the guide knew the way to Segovia, he
did not know the wagon route. Thus, he led us into places in
which we often had to get down from the wagon, and they al-
most had to carry it past some steep precipices. When we hired
guides, they led us along the good roads and then, saying they
had other things to do, abandoned us shortly before we came
upon the bad roads. Prior to our arrival at an inn, about which
we had not been sure, we had undergone much from the hot sun
and from the many incidents in which the wagon turned over. I
felt sorry for the prebendary who came with us. For now that we
were told we were on the right road, we had to turn back and
undo what we had done. But he was so rooted in virtue that it
doesn't seem to me I ever saw him angry, which amazed me very
much and made me praise our Lord, for when one is rooted in
virtue, the occasions of sin are of little consequence. I praise the
Lord for how He was pleased to bring us safely through that
journey.
14. We arrived at St. Joseph's in Segovia on the vigil of St.
Bartholomew.22 Our nuns had been worried because of the de-
lay, for since the roads were so bad, the delay was long. There
they provided us with every comfort, for God never gives me a
trial without repaying for it immediately, and I rested for eight
286
St. Teresa of Avila
days or more. But this foundation was made with so little hard-
ship that there is no reason to pay any attention to the hardship
of this return journey, because it was nothing. I came back
pleased since it seemed to me, and I hope in His mercy, that
Soria is a place where God will be served because the foundation
is there, as is already becoming evident. May He be blessed and
praised from age to age5 amen. Thanks be to God.
Chapter 31l
Begins to treat in this chapter of the foundation of the glorious
St. Joseph of Saint Anne in the city of Burgos. The first Mass was
said April 19, the octave day of Easter, in 1582.
For over six years some members of the Society of Jesus,
very conscientious, experienced, learned, and spiritual,
were telling me that our Lord would be greatly served if a house
of our sacred religious order were founded in Burgos. The rea-
sons they gave for such a foundation made me begin to desire it.
On account of the many trials within the order and in the other
foundations, there had been no opportunity to attempt a foun-
dation in Burgos.
2. In the year 1580, while I was in Valladolid, the Archbishop
of Burgos passed through. Having been bishop in the Canary
Islands, he was afterward appointed to the diocese of Burgos
and at the time was going there.2 I asked the bishop of Palencia,
Don Alvaro de Mendoza, to ask him to give us permission for a
foundation, and he said he would gladly ask him. Since he
thinks our Lord is served in these houses, he is very pleased when
one is founded. I have already spoken of how much Don Alvaro
favors this order, for while bishop of Avila he accepted the first
monastery of St. Joseph and always afterward has shown us
much favor and considered the affairs of this order as his own,
especially those about which I consult him.3
3. The archbishop did not want to enter the city of Vallado-
lid but stayed in the monastery of St. Jerome.4 There the bishop
of Palencia had a great feast prepared for him and went to dine
The Foundations— Chapter 31
287
with him and invest him with a cincture, or I don't know what
the ceremony was, that would make him an archbishop.5 It was
there that Don Alvaro asked of him the permission for me to
found a monastery in Burgos. The archbishop said that he
would grant it gladly because even when he was in the Canary
Islands he had desired and tried to get one of these monasteries,
for he knew me personally and came from a place where one of
our monasteries was located, and thus he knew how our Lord
was served in them. As a result, the bishop of Palencia told me
the foundation would not fail for want of a license, for the arch-
bishop had been very pleased about the project, and that since
the Council requires the permission of the bishop but not that it
be given in writing, the license could be considered as granted.6
4. In speaking previously of the foundation of Palencia, I
mentioned the great reluctance I had to making a foundation at
that time because of the serious illness from which I was suffer-
ing. They had thought I would not live, and I had still not re-
covered.7 Yet illness does not usually affect me so much when I
see that something is for the service of God, and thus I don't
know the reason for my feeling so much repugnance as I then
did. For if the reason had been scarcity of means, I had fewer in
other foundations. To me, after I had seen what was to take
place, the cause seemed to be the devil. And what has happened
each time that there has been some trial in one of these founda-
tions is that our Lord has always helped me with locutions and
with deeds since He knows how miserable I am. I have thought,
at times, how in some foundations in which there have been no
trials, His Majesty didn't warn me about anything. The former
is what happened here, for since He knew what I would have to
undergo He immediately began to encourage me. May He be
praised for everything! Thus, in respect to this foundation, as
was mentioned in regard to that of Palencia,8 for both founda-
tions were being discussed together, He asked, as though mak-
ing a reprimand, what I was afraid of and when He had failed
me: "I am the same; do not fail to make these two foundations."
Since the courage these locutions have left in me has been men-
tioned, there is no reason for mentioning it again here. Immedi-
ately, all hesitation was taken from me. This makes it seem that
288
St. Teresa of Avila
the cause was not illness or old age. Thus I began to make plans
for both, as was mentioned.
5 . It seemed better to make the foundation in Palencia first,
since it was closer, the weather was harsh, Burgos was so cold,
and so as to please the good bishop of Palencia; and this is what
was done, as was mentioned.9 Since, while in Palencia, the re-
quest came for a foundation in Soria, it seemed better— for in
Palencia everything was finished— to go there first and then to
Burgos.10
The bishop of Palencia thought that an account should be
given to the archbishop of what was taking place, and I begged
him to do so. After I went to Soria, the bishop sent a canon,
named Juan Alonso, from Palencia to the archbishop for no
other purpose than that. And the archbishop wrote to me with
much love of how he desired my coming, discussed the matter
with the canon, and wrote to the bishop of Palencia submitting
the matter to him, saying that what he did was because he knew
the people of Burgos and knew that their consent was necessary
in order to make the foundation.
6. In short, his conclusion was that I should go there and dis-
cuss the matter first with the city and that if the city would not
give the permission he would give it to me because he was not
going to let them tie his hands; and that he had witnessed the
foundation of the monastery in Avila, which was the first, and
remembered the great turmoil and opposition there11 and that
he wanted to prevent this from happening in Burgos; and that it
was not suitable to found a monastery unless with an income or
with the consent of the city; that it would not be expedient for
me and that that was why he was mentioning this.
7. The bishop considered that the deed was as good as done,
and rightly so because the archbishop said I should come, and
thus he sent me word that I should go. But my impression was
that the archbishop lacked enthusiasm. I wrote to him thanking
him for the favor he granted me but telling him that it seemed
to me it would be worse to make a foundation against the will of
the city than without asking them permission for it and that this
would put His Excellency into more conflict (it seems I guessed
the little help I would get from him if there were some opposi-
The Foundations — Chapter 31
289
tion), and that I would try to obtain the permission from the city
even though I knew this would be difficult because of the con-
tradictory opinions usually held in matters like this. And I wrote
to the bishop of Palencia begging him that since summer was al-
most over and my illnesses were too many for me to be living in
so cold a place we should let the idea rest for the time being. I
did not express my doubts about the archbishop because the
bishop was already displeased with him on account of the ob-
stacles he was setting up after having shown so much willing-
ness, and I did not want to cause some discord between them,
because they were friends. Thus I went from Soria to Avila very
unconcerned about going to Burgos so soon, and my going to
the house of St. Joseph in Avila was very necessary for certain
reasons.12
8. There lived in this city of Burgos a holy widow named
Catalina de Tolosa, a native of Vizcaya. I could go on at length
telling about her virtues, her penance as well as her prayer, her
generous almsgiving and charity, her good intelligence and
courage.13 She had given two of her daughters as nuns to our
monastery of the Conception in Valladolid, I believe four years
ago, and two others to Palencia, for she had been waiting that
this latter foundation be made, and she brought them before I
left.
9. All four turned out as one would expect of daughters
brought up by such a mother, for they seemed to be no less than
angels. She gave them good dowries and a full supply of other
things, for she is very generous. Everything she does, she does to
perfection; and she can do it because she is rich. When she came
to Palencia we were so certain of the permission of the arch-
bishop of Burgos that it didn't seem there would be any reason
to delay, and thus I asked her to look for a house to rent for me
so that we could make the foundation and that she provide us
with some grilles and turns and charge everything to me. The
thought never passed through my mind that she would spend
anything of her own but only lend to me. She desired the foun-
dation so much that she was extremely sorry to see it being set
aside for awhile. And thus I returned to Avila, as I have said,14
and was very unconcerned about dealing with the foundation at
290
St. Teresa of Avila
that time, but she was not so unconcerned. Thinking that all
that was needed was permission from the city, she began to try
to get it without telling me anything.
10. She had two neighbors, a mother and daughter, persons
of high social status and very good servants of God who desired
the foundation greatly. The mother, whose name was Maria
Manrique, had a son who was a magistrate and whose name was
Don Alonso de Santo Domingo Manrique. The daughter's
name was Dona Catalina. Both mother and daughter discussed
the matter with him so that he might seek permission from the
city council. He spoke to Catalina de Tolosa asking what he
should say about financial backing, for they wouldn't give the
permission if there were none. She said, and this she did, that
she would take on herself the obligation of giving us a house, if
we had none, and also food. With this promise he presented a
petition signed in his name. Don Alonso presented it with such
skill that he obtained the permission from all the magistrates
and from the archbishop, and he brought her the license in
writing. As soon as she had begun dealing with the matter, she
wrote to me that she was negotiating about the foundation. I
thought she was joking because I know how reluctant people are
to accept a monastery founded in poverty, and since I did not
know, nor did it enter my mind, that she had obligated herself
to provide for it, I thought that much more was needed.
11. Nevertheless, one day within the octave of St. Martin
while I was recommending the foundation to our Lord, I thought
that it could be made if the license were obtained. I couldn't
bear the thought of going to a place as cold as Burgos with so
many illnesses which would be aggravated by the cold. It would
have been rash to make such a long journey just after finishing
such a rough one, as I have said,15 in coming from Soria; nor
would Father Provincial allow me to do so. I was reflecting that
the prioress of Palencia could easily go,16 for since everything
was in order, there was now nothing to do. While I was thinking
about this and very determined not to go, the Lord spoke to me
in the following words in which I saw that the license was
already given: "Don't pay attention to the cold weather for I am
the true warmth. The devil uses all his strength to hinder that
The Foundations— Chapter 31
291
foundation; use yours with my help so that it may be realized
and do not fail to go in person, for great good will be done."17
12. With these words I changed my mind again, for al-
though my human nature sometimes finds these trials distaste-
ful, my determination to suffer for this great God does not
lessen. Thus I told Him not to pay any attention to my feelings
of weakness when He orders me to do what would please Him, for
with His help I would not fail to do it. There was cold weather
and snow at the time. That which daunted me most was my lack
of health, for when I have my health everything seems easy to
me. This lack of health was what very often tired me out on this
foundation. The cold was not bad, at least from what I felt, for
in truth it seems I felt as much when I was in Toledo. The Lord
had well fulfilled His words about this cold.
1 3 . Within a few days they brought me the license, along with
letters, from Catalina de Tolosa and her friend Dona Catalina, 18
urging me to hurry, for they feared lest some mishap might oc-
cur. At that time the order of the Victorines19 came there to make
a foundation; and the calced Carmelite friars were there for a
long time trying to make a foundation; afterward, the Basilians
came. That so many of us had come together at the same time
was a great obstacle and something to keep in mind, but also
something to praise our Lord for because of the great charity of
this city. For the city gave them the licenses very willingly even
though it was not enjoying its usual prosperity. I have always
heard the charity of this city praised, but I had never thought it
was as great as it is. Some favored some orders; others favored
others. But the archbishop considered all the troubles that could
arise and opposed these other foundations thinking that they
would be harmful to the orders founded in poverty which would
then be unable to survive. Perhaps these very orders influenced
him or the devil invented this so as to remove the great blessing
that God brings about wherever there are many monasteries, for
God has the power to sustain many as well as few.
14. For this reason, these holy women were urging me so
much that I would have gone at once were it not for the business
I had to attend to. I was considering how much more obligated I
was to these women who were so diligent, and not to lose this op-
portunity through my own fault.
292
St. Teresa of Avila
The locution I had heard implied that there would be much
opposition. I could not understand from where it would come,
for Catalina de Tolosa had already written me assuring us of the
house in which she was living for our foundation and that the city
was in accord and the archbishop also. I could not understand
from whom this opposition to be stirred up by the devils would
come, for I never doubted that the words I heard were from God.
15. In short, His Majesty gives more light to superiors, for
when I wrote to Father Provincial about the foundation of
which I had heard in the locution, he did not forbid me but asked
if I had got permission from the archbishop in writing.20 1 wrote
about this to Burgos. They answered that they had spoken with
him of how they had asked permission from the city and that he
was pleased. With this and all the things he had said concerning
the foundation, it didn't seem there was any reason to doubt.
16. Father Provincial wanted to accompany us on this foun-
dation. He did so partly because he was unoccupied at the time,
since he had finished preaching the Advent series, and had to
visit Soria which he had not seen since its founding and which
was not much out of the way; and partly because he wanted to
look after my health on the journey, for the weather was harsh,
and I, old and sick; and they think my life is somewhat impor-
tant. Certainly this was the providence of God, for the roads were
so flooded from the heavy rains that he and his companions were
very necessary to guide us along the way and help pull the wagons
out of the mire. This was especially so on the trip from Palencia to
Burgos, which was a very daring one to make at that time. True,
our Lord told me that we could go without harm, that I should
not fear, that He would be with us; although I did not tell this
then to Father Provincial. But these words consoled me in the
great hardships and dangers that we were going through. There
was special danger in a river crossing near Burgos called Paso de
los Pontones. The rain had been so heavy and had lasted so long
that the water flooded the bridge. As a result, the bridge could
not be seen nor could we see where to pass, but all was water, and
everywhere it was very deep. In sum, it was a great imprudence to
cross there, especially with wagons, for just by veering a little
from the course all would have been lost. In fact, one of the
wagons did get into a dangerous situation.21
The Foundations — Chapter 31
293
17. We had hired a guide in an inn who knew that crossing;
but, certainly, it was a very dangerous one. And, oh! The inns!
There was no possibility of making a full day's journey in one
day because of the bad roads. The wagons usually got stuck in
the mud and other mules had to be used to help pull the wagons
out. The Fathers who came with us had to undergo a great deal
because it happened that the muleteers we hired were young
and careless. Going with Father Provincial was a great relief be-
cause he took care of everything and has such a peaceful disposi-
tion that it seems no hardship weighs him down. Thus, what
was difficult he made so easy that it seemed to be a small mat-
ter—although not the crossing of the bridge, which frightened
us all very much, for if seeing us enter this world of water
without a road or a barge made me fear after all the strength
our Lord had given me, what must have been the fear of the
nuns who accompanied me? We were eight nuns: two who will
return with me, and five who are to remain in Burgos, four of
them choir Sisters and one lay Sister.22 I don't think I've yet
mentioned Father Provincial's name. His name is Fray Jeronimo
Gracian de la Madre de Dios.23 I have spoken of him at other
times. I was making the journey with a severe sore throat, which I
caught on my way to Valladolid, along with a fever that had not
left me.24 Eating was very painful. This prevented me from enjoy-
ing the good things that happened during the journey. This ill-
ness has remained with me until now, the end of June, although
considerably less severe, but still very painful. All the nuns were
happy on the journey; once the danger was over, they found rec-
reation in talking about it. For those who usually practice obe-
dience as do these nuns, it is a great thing to suffer in obeying.
18. It was through this rough journey and heavy rain that we
reached Burgos. Before entering the city, our Father wanted us
to go first to visit the holy crucifix25 and recommend our foun-
dation to the Lord and wait for nightfall, for it was early when
we arrived. It was a Friday, January 26, the day after the feast of
the Conversion of St. Paul. It had been decided that the foun-
dation be made immediately, and I had brought my letters
from Canon Salinas for his relatives and friends strongly urging
them to favor this foundation. (Canon Salinas, the one I men-
294
St. Teresa of Avila
tioned in discussing the foundation in Palencia,26 comes from
this city and from an important family. He worked just as hard
for this foundation as for that of Palencia.)
19. And favor it, they did. Immediately, the next day, the
whole city council came in a body to see me, for they did not re-
gret the permission they had given but rather were glad that I
came and wanted me to tell them what they could do for me. If
we had any fear, it was of the city. Thus we considered that now
everything would go easily. Although no one knew of our com-
ing, we thought of making it known to the archbishop so that
the first Mass could be said at once as was done in almost all the
other foundations. But because of the very heavy rain that was
falling when we reached the house of the good Catalina de
Tolosa, we did not do so.
20. That night we rested in the great comfort that this holy
woman provided for us. But it proved troublesome for me. She
had a large fire so as to dry us out. Although there was a chim-
ney, the fire caused me so much harm that the next day I
couldn't raise my head. So, through a window with a grate cov-
ered by a veil, I spoke with those who came to visit me. Since it
was a day in which I had to attend to business matters, I was very
embarrassed.
21. Early that morning, Father Provincial went to seek the
blessing of His Excellency, for we thought there would be noth-
ing more to do. He found that the archbishop was very dis-
turbed and angry because I had come without his permission,
acting as though he had not ordered me to come or had never
discussed anything about the foundation. Thus he spoke to
Father Provincial extremely angry at me. When finally he con-
ceded that he had ordered me to come, he said that he meant I
should come alone to discuss the matter— but that I came with
so many nuns! God deliver us from the distress it caused him!
There was little use telling him that once we had the permission
of the city, as he had asked of us, nothing else was left to be done
than simply make the foundation and that the bishop of Palen-
cia had told me (for I had asked him if it would be good that I
come without letting the archbishop know) that there was no
reason for asking the permission because the archbishop had
The Foundations — Chapter 31
295
already said how much he desired the foundation. This is the
way the things happened, and they did happen in this way be-
cause God wanted the house to be founded. The archbishop
himself acknowledged this afterward. If we had openly informed
him, he would have told us not to come. He ended the visit with
Father Provincial by telling him that if we did not have an in-
come and our own house he would in no way grant the license;
we could easily return to where we came from. And the roads
were so good and the weather so beautiful!
22. O my Lord, how certain it is that anyone who renders
You some service soon pays with a great trial! And what a pre-
cious reward a trial is for those who truly love you if we could at
once understand its value! But we did not then want this reward
because it was making everything impossible. The archbishop
made still more demands: that what would be used for income
and buying the house could not be taken from what the nuns
brought with them. Since a thought like this had never even en-
tered our mind — especially in these times — everybody thought
that there was no chance whatever for the foundation. But not
I, for I was always certain that everything was working for the
best, that the devil was setting snares so as to hinder it, and that
God would accomplish his designs. Father Provincial returned,
nonetheless, very happy, for he was not at that time disturbed.
God so provided, and He provided also that Father Provincial
would not be annoyed with me for not having obtained the
archbishop's permission in writing as he had told me to do.27
23. Some of the friends and relatives to whom Canon Salinas
had written, as I mentioned,28 had come to see me, and some of
them had come right away. They thought the archbishop should
be asked for permission to have Mass in the house so that we
would not have to go out into the streets, which were very muddy;
and for us to go out discalced was thought to be inappropriate.
There was in the house, which had been used for ten years by
members of the Society of Jesus when they first came to Burgos, a
suitable room that had served as a chapel. With this we thought
no obstacle would stand in the way of taking possession there
until we had a house. Never were we able to get the archbishop
to let us have Mass there, even though two canons went to beg
296
St. Teresa of Avila
him for it. The most they got from him was that once we had an
income, the foundation could be made there until we bought a
house. And he said that in order to buy a house we would have to
have guarantors who would pay and that we would have to leave
the place where we were staying. These guarantors we found at
once, for the friends of Canon Salinas offered to do this, and
Catalina de Tolosa provided the income for the foundation.
24. It took more than three weeks to decide on the amount of
money, how and from where it would come. During this time we
could not hear Mass; only very early on feast days. And I, with a
fever and very ill. But Catalina de Tolosa did everything so well,
because she was so generous and showed so much good will, that
she provided us all, in a room where we were secluded, with
food for a month, as though she were the mother of each one.
Father Provincial and his companions were given lodging in a
house of one of his friends, named Doctor Manso,29 who had
been a classmate and was now the canon preacher at the cathe-
dral. Our provincial was very impatient about being detained
there so long, but he did not know how he could leave us.
25. Once there was an agreement about the guarantors and
the income, the archbishop ordered that the document be given
to his administrator, and said that the matter would be taken
care of at once. The devil could not leave off tempting the ad-
ministrator. We thought there would be nothing to cause a
delay and that, after we spent almost a month in trying to meet
the demands of the archbishop, the administrator would be
pleased with what had been done. After examining the docu-
ment very carefully, the administrator sent me a memorandum
saying that the license would not be given until we had a house
of our own and that the archbishop did not want the foundation
to be made in the house in which we were staying because it was
damp and there was too much noise in the street. And with
regard to the guarantees made on the property, I don't know
what complications and other things he brought up, as though
we were just then beginning the whole matter. And he said that
he would have no more to say about this, and that the house
must satisfy the archbishop.
26. When Father Provincial saw this, he was very upset as
The Foundations— Chapter 31
297
were all the nuns. In order to buy a site for a monastery much
time is obviously required, and he was annoyed at seeing us go
out for Mass. Even though the church was not far30 and we
heard the Mass in a chapel without anyone seeing us, this situa-
tion was a very great hardship for His Reverence and us. By that
time, I think, he had made up his mind that we should go back.
I could not bear the thought of this when I remembered that
our Lord told me that as His instrument I should try to make the
foundation, and I was so certain that it would be made that
almost nothing caused me distress. My only distress was for
Father Provincial. Since I didn't know how much his friends
were going to help us, as I shall mention later, I was very sorry
that he had come with us. While I was experiencing this afflic-
tion (and my companions were also very afflicted, but I didn't
mind theirs as much as I did Father Provincial's), but not en-
gaged in prayer itself, our Lord spoke these words to me: "Now
Teresa, hold fast." With these words, I tried with more spirit to
get Father Provincial to leave and let us remain (and His Majesty
must have given him the same spirit), for Lent was approaching
and he had to go to preach.31
27. He and his friends gave orders that some rooms in the
hospital of the Conception be given to us, for the Blessed Sacra-
ment was reserved there and Mass was said each day. This made
the provincial somewhat satisfied. But there was no small strug-
gle in getting this, for one of the rooms, which was a good one,
had been rented by a widow of this city, and she did not want to
let us use it even though she was not going to move there for an-
other half year. It also upset her that one of the rooms they had
given us on the top floor, which had only the bare tiles of the
roof for a ceiling, had an entrance to her room. She was not sat-
isfied with having the key to the lock on the outside but she also
nailed up the entrance from the inside. Furthermore, the hospi-
tal confraternity was afraid that we were going to take over the
hospital, which was something absurd, but God wanted us to
merit more. They made Father Provincial and me promise be-
fore a notary that if they told us to leave we would have to do so
at once. It was this promise that was the most difficult thing for
me to do, for I feared the widow, who was rich and had relatives,
298
St. Teresa of Avila
that she would make us leave on one of her whims. But Father
Provincial, who was more circumspect, wanted us to do all they
asked so that we could go there immediately.
28. They gave us no more than two rooms and a kitchen. But
a great servant of God, named Hernando de Matanza, was in
charge of the hospital and gave us two other rooms for a parlor.
He showed us great charity, and he does so to all, for he does
much for the poor. Francisco de Cuevas,32 who is the postmaster
of this city, also showed us great charity, for he was much in-
volved with this hospital. He has always helped us when there
was need.
29. I have mentioned the names of those who were our first
benefactors because it is right that the nuns living now, and
those who are to come after, remember them in their prayers.
The founding benefactors should be remembered even more.
Although at first it was not my intention to count Catalina de
Tolosa among these latter, nor did it enter my mind, she has
merited by her good life in the service of our Lord that He so or-
dain things that the title of founding benefactress cannot be
denied her. Apart from her paying for the house, for we would
have had no means of doing so, she bore the indescribable cost
of all these rebuffs of the archbishop. Her deepest affliction was
the thought that the foundation might not be made, and she
never tired of doing good for us.
30. This hospital was very far from her house. She visited us
almost every day with great charity and sent us all that we
needed. Because of this, the people never stopped making criti-
cal comments to her, so that if it were not for her courage, these
would have been enough to make her give up the whole thing.
To see what she was suffering caused me great pain. Even though
she hid it most of the time, at other times she could not conceal
it, especially when these comments affected her conscience. She
is so conscientious that, however great were the occasions of sin
that some persons provided for her, I never heard her speak a
word that was offensive to God. They told her that she was on
her way to hell and asked how she could do what she was doing
since she had children. Everything she did was with the advice
of learned men. Even if she would have wanted to do otherwise,
The Foundations — Chapter 31
299
I would not have consented for anything in the world to her do-
ing something she should not do, even if it would have meant
my giving up a thousand monasteries, to say nothing of just one.
But since the business matters concerning the foundation were
kept secret, I am not surprised at what was in the minds of the
people. She answered with prudence, for she has a great deal of
it, and suffered the remarks in such a way that it truly seemed
God was teaching her and gave her the ability to please some
and bear with others. And He gave her the courage to put up
with everything. How much more courage for doing great
things do the servants of God have than do those of high nobility
if they are not His servants; although she, being of noble de-
scent, is not without much nobility in her background.
31 . Well to return to what I was dealing with,33 once Father
Provincial had us in a place where we could hear Mass and ob-
serve enclosure, he had the heart to go to Valladolid where he
was to preach. Yet he was distressed at not seeing in the arch-
bishop any hopeful sign that the license would be granted. Al-
though I always insisted that it would be given, he could not be-
lieve this. And, certainly, there were many reasons for his not
believing this which need not be mentioned here. If he had little
hope, his friends had less, and they made him more discouraged.
I was more relieved to see him gone because, as I have said,34
the greatest suffering I had was to see his. He left us the instruc-
tions to find a house that we could own, which was something
very difficult because until then not even one house was found
that was for sale. Our friends, especially those of Father Provin-
cial's,35 were given greater charge over us, and all agreed not to
speak a word to the archbishop until we had a house. The arch-
bishop always said that he desired this foundation more than
anyone. And I believe it, because he is such a good Christian
that he wouldn't speak anything but the truth; but in his deeds
it didn't appear that he desired this since he demanded things
that seemed impossible for us to comply with. This was the
devil's scheme to prevent the foundation. But, O Lord, how ob-
vious it is that You are powerful, for the very scheme the devil
used to prevent it, You used to do something better. May You be
blessed forever.
300
St. Teresa of Avila
32. From the vigil of St. Matthias, when we began living in
the hospital, until the vigil of St. Joseph36 we were conferring
about this and that house. There were so many obstacles that we
could not buy any of those that were for sale. I was told of one
house owned by a gentleman, which had been up for sale for
many days, and even though so many religious were looking for
a house, God was pleased that none of them found it suitable.
Now, they are all surprised, and some really sorry about this.
Two persons had spoken to me about the house. But there were
so many who spoke badly of it, that I paid no attention to it,
thinking it would be unsuitable.
33. One day I was speaking with Doctor Aguiar, who I said
was a friend of our Father Provincial's.37 He was looking very
carefully for a house for us. He said that he had looked at some
but that nothing appropriate could be found in the whole city
and that it didn't seem possible to find any, as others were tell-
ing me. I then remembered the one I mentioned that we had
disregarded. I thought, even though it's as bad as they say we
can take care of our present need and later on sell it. I told Doc-
tor Aguiar about it and asked him if he would do me the favor of
looking at it.
34. To him, this didn't seem to be a bad plan. He had not
seen the house, and even though it was a stormy and rough day,
he wanted to go there at once. There was an occupant in it who
had little interest in its being sold and did not want to show it to
him, but its location and the little he could see pleased him
greatly, and thus we decided to to try to buy it. The gentleman
who owned it was not here but the power to sell it had been
given to a priest, a servant of God whom His Majesty inspired
with a desire to sell it to us and deal with us very honestly.38
35. It was arranged that I go to see it. It pleased me to such
an extreme that if they had asked for twice as much as they did,
it would have seemed cheap to me. I am not exaggerating, be-
cause two years before they were offering the owner that much,
and he did not want to sell it. The next day a priest39 and Doctor
Aguiar went there, and when the latter learned of the amount
of money that would be acceptable, he wanted to sign the con-
tract at once. I had informed some of my friends, and they had
The Foundations — Chapter 31
301
told me that if I gave this amount I was giving five hundred
ducats too much. I told Doctor Aguiar, but he thought the price
was cheap if I gave what was asked for. I was of the same mind. I
myself would not have hesitated because it seemed to me like a
gift, but since the money belonged to the order, I had some
scruple. We met about this before Mass on the vigil of the feast
of our glorious Father St. Joseph. I told them that after Mass we
should meet again and come to a decision.
36. Doctor Aguiar is a very intelligent man and saw clearly
that if our desire were made public we would either have to pay
much more for the house or not buy it. Thus he was very careful
and made the priest promise to come back there after Mass. We
nuns went to recommend the matter to God, who said to me,
"Do you hesitate over money?" letting me know that the house
was suitable for us. The Sisters had prayed very much to St.
Joseph that they might have a house by his feastday, and al-
though there was no thought of having it so soon, he heard their
prayers. Everyone urged me to conclude the contract. And thus
it was done, for Doctor Aguiar found a notary at the door,40
which seemed ordained by the Lord, and came with him and a
witness and told me it was opportune to sign the contract. Hav-
ing closed the door of the room so that nothing would be known
(for this was Doctor Aguiar's fear), we concluded the sale, in ac-
cord with all the legal demands, on the vigil of the glorious St.
Joseph,41 as I have said. It came about through the careful dili-
gence and intelligence of this good friend.
37. No one thought the house would be sold for so little.42
Thus, as the news spread, the buyers began to appear and say
that the priest who sold it gave it away practically and that the
sale should be nullified because of the great fraud. The good
priest suffered very much. They immediately informed the
owners, a gentleman, as I said,43 and his wife, both from the no-
bility. They were so happy that their house was being made into
a monastery that they approved, although there was nothing
else they could now do. Immediately, the next day, the deed was
drawn up, and a third of the price was paid. Everything was
done according to the requests of the priest. Although some
things in the agreement were onerous to us, we accepted every-
thing for his sake.
302
St. Teresa of Avila
38. It may seem pointless that I spent so much time in telling
about the buying of this house, but indeed those who considered
the things in detail thought it was no less than a miracle, both in
the price, which made the house seem like a gift, and in the fact
that many from religious orders were so blinded that after look-
ing at it did not want to buy it, as though it had never been in
Burgos. Those who saw it were amazed and blamed the reli-
gious and called them fools. And a monastery of nuns (even two
monasteries— one had been recently founded; the other had
moved here from elsewhere after their former house had burned
down) had looked at it a little while ago. So too did a wealthy
person who is trying to found a monastery. They all let it go,
and now they are very sorry.
39. Such was the outcry in the city that we saw clearly how
right the good Doctor Aguiar was to keep the whole matter
secret and in being so diligent about this. Indeed, we can say
that, after God, it was he who gave us the house. Good intelli-
gence is a great help in everything. And since he has so much,
God moved him and brought this work to completion through
him. For more than a month he helped and advised us on how to
adapt the house well and with little cost. It seemed as though
our Lord had kept it for Himself, for almost everything seemed
to be already done. Indeed, as soon as I saw it and how every-
thing was as though made to order for us and done so quickly, it
seemed like a dream. By bringing us to such a paradise, our
Lord repaid us generously for what we had suffered. Because of
the garden, the view, and the water, the property is nothing else
but that. May He be blessed forever, amen.
40 . The archbishop learned of it immediately and rejoiced in
our success, thinking that his obstinacy had been the reason,
and he was very right. I wrote to him that I was happy he was
pleased and that I would hurry to adapt the house so that he
could give us his final permission. Once I told him this, I made
haste to move in because I was told that they wanted to keep us
where we were until the deed or I don't know what was signed.
Thus we moved into one room even though an occupant was still
living in the house,44 for there was also some trouble in getting
rid of him. They told me that the archbishop was very angry
The Foundations — Chapter 31
303
about our moving in. I tried to appease him as much as I could,
for, because he is good, even though he does get angry, he soon
gets over it. He was also angry when he learned that we had the
grates and the turn, for he thought that I wanted to go ahead at
all costs. I wrote to him that this was not the case, but that in a
house for persons living a life of recollection these are custom-
ary, that I hadn't even dared to put up a cross so as not to ap-
pear to be going ahead before having permission, and this was
true. Notwithstanding all the good will I showed, there was no
way of getting him to grant the license.
41 . He came to see the house and was very pleased with it and
showed us much kindness but did not give us the permission, al-
though he offered more hope. There were still I don't know
what contracts to be made with Catalina de Tolosa. Everyone
was very afraid that he would not give it. But Doctor Manso,
whom I mentioned,45 as the other friend of Father Provincial's,
was too good a friend of the archbishop's to be waiting for the
proper time before reminding him and urging him. It was very
distressing to Doctor Manso to see us going about as we were.
For even though there was a chapel in this house, which was
never used except for saying Mass for the owners, the arch-
bishop never allowed Mass to be said for us in the house. On
feastdays and Sundays we had to go out to a church in order to
hear Mass.46 Fortunately it was nearby, although between the
time we moved and the time the foundation was made, a month
more or less passed by. All the learned men said there was suffi-
cient reason for allowing Mass in the chapel. The archbishop
who is a very learned man understood this too. So it seems there
is no other explanation than that our Lord wanted us to suffer.
Although I bore it better, there was a nun who in seeing herself
out on the street trembled from the distress she felt.
42. In drawing up the contracts there was no little trouble,
because one minute they were satisfied with the guarantors, the
next minute they wanted the money; and they made many other
vexing demands. In this, the archbishop was not so much to
blame but one administrator who was very hostile to us. If in
God's providence it had not been necessary for this administra-
tor to go on a trip and another take his place, it seems we would
304
St. Teresa of Avila
never have obtained the license. Oh, what Catalina de Tolosa
had to suffer in all this is impossible to sayl She bore everything
with a patience that amazed me, and she did not tire of pro-
viding for us. She gave all the furnishings we needed to set up
the house, such as beds and many other things, for she had a
well supplied house. It seemed that we were lacking no necessity,
even if she lacked it in her own house. Other founding bene-
factors of our monasteries have given much more in property
and wealth, but for none of them was the cost as much as one-
tenth of what she went through. And if she had had no children,
she would have given all that she could. She desired so much to
see the work completed that everything she did toward this end
seemed to her little.
43. Seeing so much delay, I wrote to the bishop of Palencia
begging him to write again to the archbishop. The bishop was
disgusted with him, for everything the archbishop did to us the
bishop took as done to him. And what amazed us was that the
archbishop never thought he was offensive to us in anything. I
begged the bishop to write again to the archbishop saying that
since we had the house and had done what he had wanted that
he should bring the matter to a close. The bishop sent me an
open letter for the archbishop written in such a way that if I had
given it to him we would have ruined everything. Thus Doctor
Manso, my confessor and adviser, did not want me to give it to
him. Although it was very courteous, it spoke some truths that,
given the temperament of the archbishop, were enough to an-
noy him, for he was already annoyed by some of the messages
the bishop had sent to him, and they were close friends. The
bishop used to tell me that just as through the death of our Lord
enemies had become friends so through me friends had become
enemies. I told him that from this he could see what I was. I had
taken special care, in my opinion, so that they would not be-
come angry with each other.
44. I begged the bishop again, with the best reasons I could
think of, that he write another very friendly letter to the arch-
bishop and remind him of the service the monastery would
render to God. He did what I asked him, which was no trifle.
But since he saw that writing the letter was for the service of God
The Foundations-Chapter 31
305
and a favor to me, which he has always been ready to grant, he
finally forced himself. He wrote to me afterward that of all the
things he had done for the order nothing compared with his
having had to write this letter. In short, this letter was so effec-
tive, together with the diligence of Doctor Manso, that the arch-
bishop gave us the license.47 He sent it with the good Hernando
de Matanza, who arrived with no little joy. On this day the Sisters
had been more distressed than ever, and the good Catalina de
Tolosa so much so that she could not be consoled. It seems that
the Lord at the time when He was about to give us the joy wanted
to afflict us more. Even I, who had not been lacking in confi-
dence, was lacking in it the night before. May His name be blessed
without end and praised forever and ever, amen.
45. The archbishop gave Doctor Manso permission to say the
first Mass the next day and to reserve the Blessed Sacrament. And
the Father Prior of San Pablo, who belongs to the Dominican
order (to which our order owes so much as well as to the Society of
Jesus), said the high Mass with much solemnity provided by musi-
cians who came unrequested with their wind instruments.
All our friends were very pleased and so too was almost the
whole city, for they had felt very sorry to see us in such a situa-
tion. They were so critical of what the archbishop was doing
that I sometimes felt more sorry at what I heard people were say-
ing about him than I was about what we ourselves were going
through. The joy of the good Catalina de Tolosa and of the Sis-
ters was so great that it inspired me with devotion and I said to
God: "Lord, what do these your servants seek other than to serve
you and see themselves enclosed for You in a place they will
never leave?"
46. No one but those who experience it will believe the joy
that is felt in these foundations once we are enclosed where no
secular person can enter, for however much we love them it is
not enough to take away this great consolation in finding our-
selves alone. It seems to me comparable to taking many fish
from the river with a net; they cannot live until they are in the
water again. So it is with souls accustomed to living in the run-
ning streams of their Spouse. When taken out of them and
caught up in the net of worldly things, they do not truly live un-
306
St. Teresa of Avila
til they find themselves back in those waters. This I always
observe in each of these Sisters; this I know from my own experi-
ence. Nuns who see in themselves the desire to go out among
seculars and converse with them a great deal should fear that
they have not discovered the living water of which the Lord
spoke to the Samaritan woman48 and that their Spouse has hid it
from them, and rightly so since they are not satisfied in being
with Him. I am afraid that this latter stems from two causes:
either they did not embrace the religious state for Him alone;
or, after having embraced it, they do not recognize the great
favor God has granted them in choosing them for Himself and
freeing them from being subject to a man who is often the death
of them and who could also be, God forbid, the death of their
souls.
47. Oh, my Spouse, true God and true man! Should this
favor be taken so lightly? Let us praise Him, my Sisters, because
He has granted it to us and let us not tire of praising so great a
King and Lord, who has prepared for us a kingdom without end
in exchange for some little troubles which will end tomorrow
and which come wrapped in a thousand joys. May He be blessed
forever, amen, amen.
48. A few days after the house was founded, it seemed to
Father Provincial49 and me that in the endowment Catalina de
Tolosa had provided for this house there were certain difficul-
ties that could have given rise to a lawsuit and cause her some
worry. And we wanted more to trust in God than to be the occa-
sion for giving her any suffering. For this and some other rea-
sons, with the permission of Father Provincial, we nullified in
the presence of a notary the contracts concerning the money she
had given us and returned all the documents. This was done in
great secrecy so that the archbishop wouldn't know of it, for he
would have been hurt. But doing this also hurt the house. When
it is known that a monastery is founded in poverty, there is
nothing to fear because everyone helps. But when people think
it has an income, to be without one is dangerous and the monas-
tery will be left temporarily without means. Catalina de Tolosa
has provided for a remedy that will become possible after her
death. She has arranged that her two daughters, who were to
The Foundations— Chapter 31
307
make profession in our monastery of Palencia that year, would
transfer to this house their inheritance that would have been
promised to Palencia at their profession. And to another daugh-
ter, who desired to receive the habit here, she has left the family
estate which amounts to as much as the income she wanted to
provide.50 The only drawback is that these goods cannot be used
at once, but I have always held that we will not be in want. The
Lord who provides that alms be given to our other monasteries
founded in poverty will awaken some to give them here, or will
provide the means by which nuns can support themselves. Since
no monastery had been founded under such conditions, I some-
times begged the Lord that since He had desired that this foun-
dation be made He ordain that it be helped and have what is
necessary, and I had no desire to leave here until I saw whether
someone wanting to be a nun would enter.
49. While I was thinking about this one day after Commu-
nion, the Lord said to me: "Why do you doubt? Everything is
now finished; you are free to go." He thereby let me know that
they would not lack what was necessary. These words so im-
pressed me that I had no more worry than I would have if I had
left the nuns with a very good income. I immediately began to
plan my departure, for it seemed to me I was no longer doing
anything else here than enjoy myself in this house, for it suited
me perfectly, and I could have been a greater help, although
with much more hardship, in other monasteries.
The archbishop and the bishop of Palencia remained good
friends. Soon the archbishop began to show us much kindness
and gave the habit to Catalina de Tolosa's daughter51 and to an-
other nun who within a short time entered here. Up to the pres-
ent, there are some persons who have been looking after us. Nor
will our Lord allow his brides to suffer if they serve Him as they
are obliged. May His Majesty give them the grace for this
through His great mercy and goodness.
[Epilogue]
JHS
It has occurred to me to record here how the nuns of the
first monastery that was founded, St. Joseph's in Avila,
about which I wrote in another work and not in this book,1
transferred their obedience to the order after having first pro-
fessed it to the bishop.
2. When the monastery was founded, Don Alvaro de Men-
doza was bishop, the one who is now bishop of Palencia. All the
time that he was in Avila he was extremely helpful to the nuns.
And with regard to our giving obedience to the bishop, I heard
from our Lord that it would be expedient to give it to him.2 This
was borne out afterward, for in all the disagreements with the
order and in many other things that happened we clearly found
great support in him. Never did he allow any priest to make a
visitation nor did he do anything more in that monastery than
what I asked him. This arrangement lasted seventeen years, a
little more or less, for I don't remember,3 nor did I ever intend
that this jurisdiction be changed.
3 . When those years were over, the bishop of Avila was trans-
ferred to the diocese of Palencia.4 At that time I was in the mon-
astery of Toledo, and our Lord told me that it was fitting for the
nuns of St. Joseph's to give their obedience to the order, that I
should try to bring this about because in not doing this there
would soon be a relaxation of observance in that house. Since I
had heard in a former locution that it was good to give it to the
bishop, it seemed the Lord was contradicting Himself.5 1 didn't
know what to do. I told my confessor who is now bishop of Osma
and who is a very learned man.6 He told me there was no contra-
308
The Foundations— Epilogue
309
diction, that formerly the one way was necessary and that now
another was and that he thought it would be better if the mon-
astery in Avila were united with these others than alone; and
that this was true has been clearly seen in many ways.
4. He made me go to Avila to discuss the matter. I found the
bishop of a completely different opinion, for in no way would he
agree to this. But since I told him some of the reasons for the
harm that could come to the nuns, and he loved them very
much and has very good intelligence, and God helped, he
thought of some other weightier reasons than the ones I had
given him and decided to allow the transfer of jurisdiction. Even
though some priests told him that this was not a good thing to
do, he did not change his mind.
5. It was necessary to submit the matter to the vote of the
nuns. For some of them the change was a very painful one to
make. But since they respected me, they accepted my reasons,
especially when they realized that now that the bishop, to whom
the order owed so much and whom I loved, was gone, they could
no longer have me with them. This made a strong impression on
them, and thus this important matter was concluded. All the
friars and nuns have seen clearly how lost that house would have
been in doing the contrary. Blessed be the Lord who so carefully
looks after the affairs of His servants! May He be blessed forever,
amen.
CONSTITUTIONS
INTRODUCTION
The contribution of St. Teresa to spiritual literature has
received universal recognition. As a mother foundress,
she also stands out for her practicality and talent in having main-
tained the highest spiritual life amid everyday conflicts, con-
flicts that arose particularly from the material and personal
needs of the nuns in her new communities. But one of her ac-
complishments revealing another facet of her talents and that
might escape notice is her work as legislator for her new Carmels.
When Teresa petitioned Rome for the faculty to found the
monastery of St. Joseph, she had only a general plan in mind. In
the reply from Rome, February 7, 1562, the brief granted her
the power to make licit and respectable statutes and ordinances
in conformity with canon law. It also granted her the faculty to
change these for the better or also abrogate them, entirely or in
part, according to the condition of the times and to make other
new ones.1 Teresa needed these powers because the constitu-
tions in use at her monastery of the Incarnation would not have
served for the kind of life she envisioned in which the primitive
rule of Carmel was to be observed. Neither did there exist within
the order any other constitutions drafted for monasteries of
nuns observing the primitive rule.
If one looks for an indication of the first steps taken toward the
drawing up of constitutions, one may find them in Teresa's ac-
count of her first foundation presented in her Life. She writes:
"Now although there is some austerity because meat is never
eaten without necessity and there is an eight-month fast and
other things, as are seen in the first rule, this is still in many re-
spects considered small by the Sisters; and they have other ob-
servances which seemed to us necessary in order to observe the
311
312
St. Teresa of Avila
rule with greater perfection."2 These words were written after
some three years of experience with the new life at St. Joseph's.
The other observances referred to, and introduced so as to keep
the rule with greater perfection, formed no doubt the nucleus of
the constitutions. The first years, then, must have served partly
as experimental ones. Maria de San Jose supports such a surmise
when she points out that Teresa preferred first to experiment
before presenting anything to visitators and superiors for ap-
proval as law.3 Another of the early nuns, Maria de San Jeron-
imo, testified that if any religious introduced some practices of
penance or mortification, Teresa wanted to be the first one to
try them out.4 Finally, by the time the Mother Foundress wrote
her first draft of the Way of Perfection, in 1566, the year after
she had completed her Life, she was able to refer explicitly to
the constitutions,5 which leads to the conclusion that by that
time at least some constitutions existed in written form.
When, in 1567, the prior general Rubeo visited Avila, Teresa
was able to show him the text of her constitutions and seek his
approbation of them. The provincial of the Carmelites in Cas-
tile, Angel de Salazar, has left us explicit testimony that Rubeo
did see and approve Teresa's constitutions.6 This approval came
as the culmination, in a way, of those most quiet and restful
years of Teresa's life,7 the first five years at St. Joseph's.
The text shown to Rubeo unfortunately has not come down to
us. The Teresian constitutions that have been preserved legis-
late not merely for the single monastery in Avila but for a num-
ber of Carmels. Some idea, however, of the first text can be got
from the constitutions for the friars that were followed in Duru-
elo. These constitutions were obviously copied, with certain ad-
aptations, from Teresa's first constitutions. This can be deduced
from the brevity of the text and from the occasional lapses in
which the redactor failed to change the gender from feminine to
masculine. These constitutions for the friars were sent to the
prior general for his approval and consequently have been pre-
served in the general archives of the Carmelites of the Obser-
vance in Rome. The text is simple and sparse, indicating that
she who when speaking of prayer was often extravagant with
words was frugal with them when writing laws.
The Constitutions — Introduction 313
As for Teresa's constitutions for her nuns, the oldest text that
is preserved is an expansion of the first constitutions and speaks
of Carmels in the plural and of lay Sisters, who were not envis-
ioned at the beginning. It represents a stage in an evolving proc-
ess. The autograph of this text, which had been conserved in the
general archives of the Spanish congregation of discalced Car-
melites in Madrid, was lost in the last century at the time of the
exclaustration. It bore the title: Constitutions for the Sisters of
the Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel of the First Rule With-
out Relaxation, Given by the Most Reverend General of the said
Order Fray Juan Bautista Rubeo. Fortunately a copy of this lost
autograph had been made for the general archives of the Portu-
guese congregation.
Another copy of these early constitutions is preserved in the
monastery of nuns of the primitive rule of Carmel founded by
Maria de Jesus in Alcala.8 A third copy comes from one of the
first historians of the order, Jeronimo de San Jose. From various
ancient copies of these constitutions, Padre Jeronimo constructed
his own text which he published in his Historia del Carmen Des-
calzo in 1635.
Editors of Teresa's works have made different choices with re-
spect to these copies. Vicente de la Fuente chose the copy that is
in Alcala for his edition of the works of St. Teresa published in
1861. 9 Padre Silverio chose for his critical edition of 1919 the
copy that was made from the autograph for the Portuguese Car-
melites. Padre Efren opted for the copy published by Padre Je-
ronimo.10 The variant readings in these texts may represent dif-
ferent moments in the evolving process as well as, in the case of
Jeronimo, some meddling.
When compared with what one can estimate concerning the
first text for St. Joseph's alone, this later text shows an increase
in length of little over a half. But the increase is due mainly to
the long penal code that was added to the text and of which
Teresa was certainly not the author. This code, with its boring,
interminable categories of faults and penalties, makes up one
half of the text of these later constitutions. A comparison of this
penal code with the one contained in the constitutions of the In-
carnation published by Silverio leaves no doubt that the code in
314
St. Teresa of Avila
Teresa's constitutions was taken from some version of already
existing Carmelite constitutions. But whether, in fact, the con-
stitutions published by Silverio are those of the Incarnation at
Avila or of some other Carmelite monastery of nuns with the
same name is uncertain. The entire section, then, on faults and
penalties (nos. 43-56) represents neither Teresa's mentality nor
her style; she simply accepted it without attempting to write a
penal code of her own. We have placed this code in the notes so
as not to detract in any way from what flows directly from the
Foundress's pen.
The Teresian constitutions, then, contain two major sections:
the first deals with the daily schedule and way of life of the new
family; the second, with the penal discipline required in reli-
gious codes of the time. These two sections are followed by a
brief epilogue after which come two more prescriptions which
are out of place and were probably drafted at a later date.
The first part, written by Teresa, is simple and balanced. With
no intention of inserting her spiritual message into her laws, she
merely drew up some general guidelines for the community life.
The spiritual commentary on her constitutions must be sought
principally in the Way of Perfection if one is to avoid the temp-
tation to judge by the letter alone.
What stands out in these guidelines for the Teresian life is
balance. We find an interweaving of eremitism and cenobitism,
of work and contemplation, of liturgical and extra-liturgical
prayer. Even the apostolic life is integrated into the contem-
plative life, in conversations (no. 18), in prayers, and penances
(no. 58). The practice of asceticism and enclosure are tempered
by a family spirit and by gardens and pleasant views. In re-
ceiving and educating novices stress must be placed on prayer
and virtues, only persons of prayer should be admitted to the
postulancy.
In tracing out her program of contemplative life, Teresa with-
out doubt took into consideration the primitive Carmelite rule
as well as the Carmelite constitutions and ordinal then in force,
but she did so independently, refusing to tone down the new
spirit that issued from her own extraordinary life of prayer. In
fact she reacts against a whole gamut of practices observed in
The Constitutions — Introduction 315
her former monastery. Even with regard to prescriptions of the
Carmelite rule, she allows herself a certain freedom, as with the
law seemingly as important as that of the great silence, which
she reforms so as to make room for evening recreation. "Almost
everything," she qualifies, "is set up in conformity with our rule"
(no. 31), thereby intimating her own conscious role as legislator.
The legislator herself was the prioress, and thus understand-
ably "the Mother Prioress should be the first on the list for sweep-
ing" (no. 22). As for her own method of governing and the spirit
in which she wrote her laws: "these things should be done with a
mother's love" (no. 34).
As Teresa went on founding her new Carmels, she met with
situations in which she had to make exceptions to rules. Because
the town of Malagon, for example, was too small for the nuns to
live on alms, the monastery had to be endowed with a fixed in-
come rather than founded in poverty as required in Teresa's
own constitutions. Nor was fish available in that area, a situa-
tion calling for dispensation from the abstinence prescribed by
the primitive rule. And in Seville, the unbearable heat demanded
some changes in the kind of material prescribed for clothing.
As Carmels multiplied, copies of the constitutions multiplied,
and as these multiplied fidelity to the original text diminished.
There were prioresses who found no problem at all in adding
and omitting whatever seemed suitable to them.11 There were
also new historical circumstances offering the occasion for addi-
tions to the legislation. The appointment in 1569 of apostolic
visitators for the Carmelite order soon had repercussions in a
series of decrees affecting Teresa's Carmels as well. Teresa re-
fers to these as "the Acts."12 Not all of these decrees are known.
Nor did they always please Teresa, as she indicates in a letter to
Gracian: "If it seems all right to you, remove the ruling of Padre
Fernandez where he says that they should not eat eggs or have
bread at collation, for I was never able to keep him from impos-
ing this rule. It is sufficient to fulfill the obligation set by the
Church without imposing another on top of it, for the nuns tend
to get scrupulous, and this does them harm; some don't think
they have a need when they in fact do."13
When in September of 1576 Padre Juan Roca was named
316
St. Teresa of Avila
monitor for the friars at their chapter in Almodovar, which
meant that he had the task of promoting the spiritual life in
each house, Teresa learned that he was monitoring the houses
of her nuns as well. She reacted strongly in a letter to Gracian:
"This is what my nuns fear: that overbearing superiors will come
along who will crush them .... It is a strange thing that visita-
tors do not think they have accomplished their task unless they
make regulations." And as for Padre Roca's regulations: "Just
reading them tired me out; what would I do if I had to follow
them?"14
On the whole, it must be admitted, the apostolic visitators re-
spected Teresa's views and consulted with her, issuing no new
orders without her prior knowledge. This was true as well with
respect to regulations made by Gracian.
In addition to the "Acts" of the visitators, one had to consider
what came from the Holy See. The Church was in a state of re-
form after the Council of Trent, and the religious orders had to
incorporate the new laws that had been drawn up, one example
being the new prescriptions regarding cloister.
All this addi tonal legislation, arising from different sources,
at times dealing with a point already provided for, resulted in
some obscurity and ambiguity when the time came for a practi-
cal application. No one is surprised, then, if Teresa desired a
clearer presentation of all this legislation. Her chance came
with the brief Pia consideratwne, June 22, 1580, which gave the
provincial to be elected in a coming chapter, at which the dis-
calced Carmelites would separate into their own province, the
faculty to legislate for the discalced nuns. The letters that
Teresa writes to Gracian before this chapter, especially those of
February 21 and 27, 1581, clearly show her concern about the
new constitutions and the coming chapter. Without any me-
thodical order, she makes a number of recommendations, ap-
parently as they enter her mind. What she wanted was one body
of law incorporating the Acts of the apostolic visitators into her
constitutions, and in addition some other changes she felt
necessary.
With Gracian's approval, the Mother Foundress also sought
suggestions from her Carmels concerning changes to be made in
The Constitutions — Introduction 317
the constitutions. She intended to send these on to Gracian, but
not without first reviewing and revising them herself. As a mat-
ter of fact, the only suggestions that seem to have pleased her
were those sent by Isabel de Santo Domingo, the prioress in Se-
govia. 15 As for the memorandum sent by Avila, she was shocked
to see what a state the house had got itself into.16
The constitutions that resulted and were issued by the chap-
ter are nowadays referred to as the Constitutions of Alcala, after
the city where the chapter was held. They were completed in
March of 1581 . In the prologue of these new constitutions, Gra-
cian wrote: "Because the laws and the constitutions you have had
until now are so holy and religious, drawn up and ordained by
such great men having so much authority, those we now give are
no different but the same you have had until now, with some
few additions, omissions, or changes which seemed suitable for
the good of the religious life."17
In a letter about these constitutions Gracian lists the founts of
this new body of laws: the constitutions of Rubeo and the acts of
the visitators, Pedro Fernandez and Gracian himself. Rubeo's
constitutions were in fact Teresa's approved by Rubeo, but no
mention is made of Teresa as the author of the main source of
these constitutions of Alcala. Why? Seemingly it was not feasible
in the mind of these men to include a woman among the legisla-
tors; with Rubeo's name alone the laws would carry more weight.
The first constitutions drafted for St. Joseph's in Avila would
have amounted to about thirteen pages, the later ones came to
twenty-nine pages, and those of Alcala filled forty-nine pages.
From a literary point of view, the constitutions of Alcala, put
together from different sources, although Teresa's constitutions
were the main fount, are a hybrid. 18 Since they were not drafted
by Teresa, editors usually do not include them among her com-
plete works. If they are omitted here, it is with the understand-
ing that the text of the earlier constitutions does not represent
Teresa's final word. As for how well the constitutions of Alcala
represent the mind and wishes of Teresa, scholars are not in
agreement.19
What made the Mother Foundress happy to receive the Al-
cala constitutions was that she finally had an established and
318
St. Teresa of Avila
fully approved text with the signatures she most desired: the
pope's representative to the chapter, the apostolic commissary,
Juan de las Cuevas, O.P. ; the first provincial of the Teresian Car-
mel, Jeronimo Gracian; his vicar Nicolas Doria; and the provin-
cial counsellors, Antonio de Jesus, St. John of the Cross, Gabriel
de la Asuncion, and Ambrosio Mariano de San Benito. Teresa's
only urgings now were that these constitutions be printed promptly
so that there could be no further problem with interpolations.
Her pleas were promptly heeded, for the first printed edition, in
pocket size, appeared that same year, 1581, in Salamanca.
The constitutions of Alcala remained in force for no more
than a decade. When the first supply of copies was exhausted
because of the increasing number of Carmels, Ana de Jesus took
the initiative in 1588 to have them reprinted in Madrid. Two
years later they were approved by Sixtus V and published in
Rome in Latin with some slight retouches. But in 1592, Nicolas
Doria, as vicar general of the Spanish congregation of discalced
Carmelites, denied that these constitutions of Alcala were Te-
resa's constitutions and changed them substantially, receiving
approval of his own version from Gregory XIV. The constitutions
of Alcala were never again used as law in the order, though they
did continue to remain in use in some autonomous sectors of
Carmel. Ana de Jesus had brought them to France, and they
continued to be published in French translations.
Not until the second half of the last century were Teresa's
earlier constitutions given their place in the editions of her com-
plete works. Don Vicente de la Fuente discovered the copy of
these earlier constitutions that was conserved in the Carmel
founded by Maria de Jesus, and he published this text in his edi-
tion of Teresa's writings.20
Our translation is of this earlier text of Teresa's constitutions
but follows the copy chosen by Padre Silverio, that is, the one
made for the Portuguese congregation from the autograph now
missing. This text is used as well by both Tomas Alvarez and
Fortunato Antolin in their critical editions.
K. K.
THE CONSTITUTIONS
On the Order to Be Observed in Spiritual Matters
1. Matins are to be said after nine, not before, but not so
long after nine that the nuns would be unable, when finished, to
remain for a quarter of an hour examining their consciences as
to how they have spent the day. The bell should be rung for this
examen, and the one designated by the Mother prioress should
read a short passage from some book in the vernacular on the
mystery that will serve as the subject for reflection the following
day. The time spent in these exercises should be so arranged
that at eleven o'clock the bell may be rung to signal the hour for
retirement and sleep. The nuns should spend this time of ex-
amen and prayer together in the choir. Once the Office has be-
gun, no Sister should leave the choir without permission.
2 . In the summer they should arise at five and remain in prayer
until six. In the winter1 they should rise at six and remain in
prayer until seven. Immediately after prayer, they will say the
Hours up to None, unless the day is a solemn feast or the feast of
a saint to which the nuns have a special devotion. They will in
that case postpone None so as to sing it before the Mass. On Sun-
days and feast days, Mass, Vespers, and Matins are to be sung.
On the first days after Easter2 and on other solemn days they
may sing Lauds, especially on the feast of the glorious St. J oseph.
3. The chant should never be sung with musical notation3
but should be done in a monotone and with uniform voices. Or-
dinarily, everything should be recited, and also the Mass, for
the Lord will be served if some time remains so that the Sisters
may earn their livelihood.
4. The Sisters should try not to miss choir for any light rea-
son. When the Hours are finished, they should go about their
duties. Mass will be said at eight o'clock in the summer and at
nine in the winter . Those who receive Communion should re-
main a short while in choir.
319
320
St. Teresa of Avila
The Days for Receiving the Lord
5. Communion will be received every Sunday, on feast days,
and on days honoring our Lord, our Lady, our Father St. Al-
bert, and St. Joseph, and on other days that the confessor desig-
nates in accordance with the devotion and spirit of the Sisters
and with the permission of the Mother prioress. Communion
will also be received on the titular feast of the house.
6. Shortly before meals, the bell will be rung for the examen
of conscience as to what has been done up to that time. Each
one should propose to correct the greatest fault she sees in her-
self and recite an Our Father that God might give her the grace
to do so. Each Sister should kneel down wherever she is and
make her examen briefly. At two o'clock Vespers should be said,
except during Lent when it will be said at eleven.4 During the
times when Vespers is said at two, it should be followed by an
hour of reading5 (during Lent the hour of reading takes place at
two o'clock); this means that at two o'clock the bell is rung for
Vespers. On the vigil of feast days, this hour of reading will take
place after Compline.
7. In summer, Compline is to be said at six o'clock; in the
winter, at five. In both winter and summer the bell is rung for si-
lence at eight o'clock, and the silence is kept until after Prime of
the following day. This silence should be observed with great
care. During the other times, no Sister may speak with another
without permission, except about necessary matters if she has
duties to fulfill.6 The Mother prioress may give permission
should one Sister desire to speak with another so as to quicken
the love each has for her Spouse or to be consoled in a time of
some need or temptation. This rule of silence should not be un-
derstood to refer to a question and answer or to a few words, for
such things can be spoken without permission. An hour before
they say Matins, let the bell be rung for prayer. This hour of
prayer may be spent in reading if they are drawn in spirit to
spend the hour after Vespers in prayer. They may decide in ac-
cordance with what helps them most toward recollection.
The Constitutions
321
8. The prioress should see to it that good books are avail-
able, especially The Life of Christ by the Carthusian, the Flos
Sanctorum, The Imitation of Christ, The Oratory of Religious,
and those books written by Fray Luis de Granada and by Father
Fray Pedro de Alcantara.7 This sustenance for the soul is in
some way as necessary as is food for the body. All of that time
not taken up with community life and duties should be spent by
each Sister in the cell or hermitage designated by the prioress; in
sum, in a place where she can be recollected and, on those days
that are not feast days, occupied in doing some work. By with-
drawing into solitude in this way, we fulfill what the rule com-
mands: that each one should be alone.8 No Sister, under pain of
a grave fault, may enter the cell of another without the prioress's
permission. Let there never be a common workroom.9
On Temporal Matters
9. Let them live always on alms and without any income, 10
but insofar as possible let there be no begging. Great must be
the need that makes them resort to begging. Rather, they
should help themselves with the work of their hands, as St. Paul
did; 1 1 the Lord will provide what they need. Provided they want
no more than this and are content to live simply, they will have
what is necessary to sustain life. If they strive with all their might
to please the Lord, His Majesty will keep them from want. Their
earnings must not come from work requiring careful attention
to fine details but from spinning and sewing or other unrefined
labor that does not so occupy the mind as to keep it from the
Lord. Nor should they do work with gold or silver. Neither
should there be any haggling over what is offered for their
work. They should graciously accept what is given. If they see
that the amount offered is insufficient, they should not take on
the work.
10. In no way should the Sisters have any particular posses-
sions, nor should such permission be granted; nothing in the
line of food or clothing; nor should they have any coffer or small
chest, or box, or cupboard, unless someone have an office in the
322
St. Teresa of Avila
community. But everything must be held in common. This is
very important because through small things the devil can bring
about a relaxation of the perfection in which poverty is ob-
served. For this reason the prioress should be very careful. If she
sees that a Sister is attached to something, be it a book, or a cell,
or anything else, she should take it from her.
On Fasting
11. A fast is observed from the feast of the Exaltation of the
Cross, which is in September, until Easter, with the exception of
Sundays. Meat must never be eaten unless out of necessity as the
rule prescribes.12
1 2 . The habit should be made of coarse cloth or black, rough
wool, and only as much wool as is necessary should be used. The
sleeves should be narrow, no wider at the opening than at the
shoulder. Circular, without pleats, and no larger in the back
than in the front, the habit should extend in length to the feet.
The scapular should be made of the same material and four fin-
gers shorter in length than the habit. The choir mantle should
be white, of the same coarse cloth, and equal in length to the
scapular. They should use as little cloth for this as possible, at-
tending always to the necessary rather than to the superfluous.
Let them always wear the scapular over the toque. The toques
should be made of fine tow and without pleats; the inner tunics
of fine wool, and the sheets of the same. Let sandals made from
hemp be worn and, for the sake of modesty, stockings of rough
wool or of cloth made from rough tow. The pillowcases may be
of fine tow or, when necessary, of linen.
13. Straw-filled sacks will be used for mattresses, for it has
been shown that these can be tolerated even by persons with
weak health. No hangings should be used except, in cases of
necessity, hemp mattings or, to cover a doorway, a blanket or
some rough, woolen cloth or something similar that is poor.
Each nun should have her own bed. Let there be no carpeting or
cushions, except in the church. These are all matters of proper
The Constitutions
323
religious observance. They are mentioned here because with
relaxation there comes sometimes a forgetfulness of what per-
tains to religious life and its obligations. Colored clothing or
bedding must never be used, not even something as small as a
ribbon. Sheepskins should never be worn. If someone is sick, she
may wear an extra garment made of the same rough wool as the
habit.
14. The Sisters must keep their hair cut so as not to have to
waste time in combing it. Never should a mirror be used or any
adornments; there should be complete self- forgetfulness.
On the Enclosure
15. No nun should be seen with her face unveiled13 unless she
is with her father, mother, brothers, or sisters, or has some
reason which would make it seem as appropriate as in the cases
mentioned. And her dealings should be with persons who are an
edification and help for the life of prayer and who provide
spiritual consolation rather than recreation. Another nun
should always be present unless one is dealing with conscience
matters. The prioress must keep the key to both the parlor and
the main entrance. When the doctor, barber surgeon, confes-
sor, or other necessary persons enter the enclosure, they should
always be accompanied by two nuns. When some sick nun goes
to confession, another nun must always be standing there at a
distance so that she sees the confessor. She should not speak to
him, unless a word or two, but only the sick nun may do so.
16. In houses that have a choir, within the enclosure, where
the Blessed Sacrament is reserved, and have chaplains or help
for taking care of the church, there should be no door leading
into the church. 14 Where this help is not present, and the nuns
cannot dispense from having a door, the prioress should keep
the key. The door should be opened only when necessary and by
two Sisters. When there is help for taking care of the church, the
entrance should be closed up if there had been a door there.
1 7 . The novices should be allowed visitors just as are the pro-
fessed. For if they are in any way unhappy, this should make it
324
St. Teresa of Avila
clear that they are expected to remain only if they are very will-
ing to do so. 15 And they should be given the opportunity to say
so if they do not want to remain.
18. The Sisters should pay no attention to the affairs of the
world, nor should they speak about them. They may do so if the
matter concerns something for which they can offer a remedy or
help those with whom they are speaking, assist them in finding
the truth, or console them in some trial. If no effort is being
made to make the conversation a fruitful one, they should bring
it to a quick conclusion, as was said. It is very important that
those who visit us leave with some benefit, and not after having
wasted time, and that we benefit too. The companion should
watch carefully whether this rule is observed. She is obliged to
inform the prioress if it is not. When she does not do this, she in-
curs the same penalty as the one who breaks the rule. The
punishment is that after having been warned tvface by her com-
panion, a nun on the third occasion should be given nine days in
the prison cell and, on the third day of the nine, a discipline in
the refectory. For the above rule is very important to the
religious life.
19. As much as they can, the Sisters should avoid a great deal
of conversation with relatives. Aside from the fact that they will
become preoccupied with their relatives' affairs, they will find it
difficult to avoid talking to them about worldly things.
20. Let them be very careful in speaking with outsiders, even
though these may be close relatives. If these persons are not the
kind who find their satisfaction in speaking about the things of
God, they should be seen seldom, and the visit kept short.
On Accepting Novices
2 1 . Let the nuns consider carefully whether those about to be
received are persons of prayer desiring full perfection and con-
tempt for the world. These aspirants should be at least seven-
teen. And if they are not detached from the world, they will find
the way we live here hard to bear. It is better to consider these
The Constitutions
325
things beforehand than to have to turn these persons away after-
ward. Aspirants should be healthy, intelligent, and able to recite
the Divine Office and assist in choir. Profession should not be al-
lowed if during the year of novitiate the novice does not show
that she has the temperament and other qualities necessary for
the kind of life she would have to live here. If some of these qual-
ities are lacking, she should not be accepted, unless she is a per-
son so taken with the service of the Lord and useful to the house
that the deficiencies would give no cause whatsoever for disquiet
and our Lord would be served by our consenting to her holy de-
sires. If these latter are not great, for great desires will be the
sign that God is calling her to this state, she should by no means
be received. An applicant with whom the nuns are pleased
should not be turned away because she has no alms to give the
house; and this has always been the procedure. Should she
desire to give an alms to the house, and holds it for that reason,
she should not be refused profession if afterward she does not
for some reason give it, nor should the nuns try to get the money
through litigation. Let them be careful so as not to be motivated
by self-interest. Little by little greed could so enter that they
would look more to the alms than to the goodness and qual-
ity of the person. This should in no way be done, for doing so
would be a great evil. They must ever keep in mind their profes-
sion of poverty that they might always in everything give off its
fragrance. Let them reflect that it is not money that will sustain
them but faith, perfection, and trust in God alone. This law
should be considered carefully and be observed; it is appropriate
and should be read to the Sisters. When someone is accepted, it
should always be done in accordance with the majority opinion
of the community, and the same holds for profession. Candi-
dates being considered for admission as lay Sisters should be
robust and be persons who show that they want to serve the
Lord. They should spend a year before receiving the habit so
that it may be seen whether they are fit for the demands of such
a life, and so that they themselves may see whether they can
bear up with it. They should not cover their faces with a veil,
nor should they wear a black one. They may make profession
two years after receiving the habit, unless through their great
326
St. Teresa of Avila
virtue they merit making profession sooner. They should be
treated with complete sisterly charity, and food and clothing
should be provided for them just as they are for all.
On the Humble Offices
22. The Mother prioress should be the first on the list for
sweeping so that she might give good example to all. She should
pay careful attention to whether those in charge of the clothes
and the food provide charitably for the Sisters in what is needed
for subsistence and in everything else. Those having these of-
fices should do no more for the prioress and the older nuns than
they do for all the rest, as the rule prescribes,16 but be attentive
to needs and age, and more so to needs, for sometimes those
who are older have fewer needs. Since this is a general rule, it
merits careful consideration, for it applies in many things. Let
no Sister comment on whether the food given to eat is much or
little, well or poorly seasoned. Let the prioress and the provider
take care so that what is given (depending on what the Lord has
given) is well prepared and the nuns will be able to get along
with it, for they have nothing else. The Sisters should be obliged
to tell the Mother prioress of their needs, and the novices to tell
the novice mistress; this with regard to both clothing and food.
And if they need something more than the usual things, they
should, even though this may not be great, commend the mat-
ter to our Lord first. Our human nature often asks for more
than what it needs, and sometimes the devil helps so as to cause
fear about the practice of penance and fasting.
On the Sick
23. The sick should be cared for with fullness of love, con-
cern for their comfort, and compassion in accordance with the
poverty we practice. And they should praise God, our Lord,
when they are well provided for. If they lack the things the
wealthy possess for bringing relief in their illnesses, let them not
The Constitutions
327
become sad. In joining us one must be very resolved about such
matters. This is what it means to be poor: to be in want, per-
haps, at times of greater need. The Mother prioress should be
very careful that the healthy nuns be deprived of something
necessary rather than have the sick ones go without some deeds
of kindness. The sick ought to be visited and comforted by the
Sisters. Let an infirmarian be appointed who has the ability and
charity for this office. The sick nuns should strive, then, to show
the perfection they acquired when healthy, being patient and as
little a bother as possible if the illness is not serious. They should
be obedient to the infirmarian, for her benefit and for the edifi-
cation of the Sisters, that they themselves might gain through
their illness. They should have linens and good beds (I mean,
with mattresses) and should be treated with much charity and
cleanliness.
24. Work with a time limit should never be given to the Sis-
ters. Each one should strive to work so that the others might
have food to eat. They should take into careful account what
the rule ordains (that whoever wants to eat must work) and what
St. Paul did.17 If someone should volunteer to take on a fixed
daily amount of work, she may do so but ought not be given a
penance if she fails to finish it.
25. Each day after supper, or collation, when the Sisters are
gathered together, the turnkeeper should announce what was
given that day in alms, naming the donors so that all may take
care to pray that God will repay them.
26. The time for dinner cannot be fixed since this depends
on how the Lord gives. When possible, during the winter, on
Church fast days, the bell for dinner should be rung at eleven-
thirty and on fast days of the order, at eleven; during the sum-
mer, at ten. Should the Lord give a Sister the desire to perform a
mortification, she should ask permission. This good, devotional
practice should not be lost, for some benefits are drawn from it.
Let it be done quickly so as not to interfere with the reading.
Outside the time of dinner and supper, no Sister should eat or
drink without permission. When they are through with the meal,
the Mother prioress may dispense from the silence so that all
328
St. Teresa of Avila
may converse together on whatever topic pleases them most as
long as it is not one that is inappropriate for a good religious.
And they should all have their distaffs with them there.
27. Games should in no way be permitted, for the Lord will
give to one the grace to entertain the others. In this way, the
time will be well spent. They should strive not to be offensive to
one another, but their words and jests must be discreet. When
this hour of being together is over, they may in summer sleep for
an hour; and whoever might not wish to sleep should observe
silence.
28. After Compline and prayer, as was mentioned above,18
in both winter and summer, the Mother may allow the Sisters to
talk together, each one having her work, as was mentioned. The
amount of time should be determined by the Mother prioress.
Let no Sister embrace another or touch her on the face or
hands. The Sisters should not have particular friendships but
should include all in their love for one another, as Christ often
commanded His disciples.19 Since they are so few, this will be
easy to do. They should strive to imitate their Spouse who gave
His life for us. This love for one another that includes all and
singles out no one in particular is very important.
29 . No nun should reprove another for the faults she sees her
commit. If they are serious, she should admonish her privately
in a charitable way. And if the nun after being told three times
does not amend, the Mother prioress should be told but no
other Sister. Since there are Sisters appointed as monitors to at-
tend to the faults, the rest of the Sisters need not bother and may
pass over those seen in others and pay attention to their own.
Nor should they meddle with faults committed in the fulfilment
of offices, unless it's a serious matter which they are obliged to
make known, as was mentioned. They should be very careful
not to excuse themselves unless in matters where it is necessary
to do so, for they will find much benefit in this practice.
30. The monitors should take great care to notice the faults
and, when ordered by the prioress, should at times reprimand
the Sisters in public, even though this may mean that a younger
The Constitutions
329
Sister is reprimanding an older one. One is thereby exercised in
humility. Thus the Sisters should not answer back even if they
are without fault. No Sister may give or receive or ask for any-
thing, even from her parents, without permission from the pri-
oress. Everything that is offered as alms, should be shown to the
prioress. Never should the prioress or any of the Sisters use the
title Dona.20
31 . The punishment for the faults and failings committed in
matters that were mentioned should be those penalties desig-
nated at the end of these constitutions, according to the serious-
ness of the fault, since almost everything is set up in conformity
with our rule. In all of the above, the Mother prioress may with
discretion and charity dispense in accordance with what may be
just, and its observance does not oblige under pain of sin but of
corporal punishment.
32. The house, with the exception of the church, should
never be adorned, nor should there be anything finely wrought,
but the wood should be rough. Let the house be small and the
rooms humble: something that fulfills rather than exceeds the
need. It should be as strong as possible. The wall should be
high, and there should be a field where hermitages can be con-
structed so that the Sisters may be able to withdraw for prayer as
our holy Fathers did.21
On the Deceased
33. The sacraments should be administered as ordained in
the ordinal.22 The funeral and burial of a deceased nun should
include a vigil and sung Mass; and also on the first anniversary,
an office of the dead and a sung Mass. If it is possible the
Gregorian Masses should be said for them; and if not, whatever
is possible. The whole community should recite an Office of the
dead for the nuns of their own monastery; and for other nuns
(those of the primitive rule), an Office of the dead should be
recited and, if possible, a Mass sung. For nuns of the mitigated
observance, an Office of the dead should be recited.
330
St. Teresa of Avila
On the Obligations of Each Office
34. It is the duty of the Mother prioress to take great care in
everything about the observance of the rule and constitutions,
to look after the integrity and enclosure of the house, to observe
how the offices are carried out, and to see that both spiritual
and temporal needs are provided for; and these things should be
done with a mother's love. She should strive to be loved so that
she may be obeyed. The prioress should appoint as portress and
sacristan persons whom she can trust. So as not to allow for any
attachment to an office, she may remove them as she sees fit.
She should appoint nuns to all the other offices as well with the
exception of those of subprioress and key-bearer which are
elected offices. At least two of the key- bearers should know how
to write and keep accounts.
35 . It is the duty of the Mother subprioress to take care of the
choir so that the recitation and chanting be done well, and the
pause observed. This should be looked after carefully. When
the prioress is absent, the subprioress should preside, be always
present in the community, and correct the faults that are com-
mitted in the choir and refectory.
36. The key-bearers should receive a monthly report from
the treasurer with the prioress present; the prioress should seek
the opinion of the key-bearers in serious matters and have a
chest, to which there should be three keys, for the community
documents and funds. The prioress must have one key, and the
oldest key-bearers the other two.
37. It is the duty of the sacristan to take care of all the things
pertaining to the church and to see to it that the Lord is served
there with much reverence and cleanliness. She should arrange
that the hearing of confessions proceed in good order and,
under pain of grave fault, she must not allow anyone to ap-
proach the confessional without permission unless to confess to
an appointed confessor.
38. The duty of the treasurer and elder portress (offices that
should be held by the same person) is to take care of providing in
due time, if the Lord gives the means, for all that must be
The Constitutions
331
bought for the house. This Sister must speak at the turn with a
subdued voice and in an edifying way. She must look after the
needs of the Sisters with charity and keep accounts of income
and expenses. When she buys something she should not engage
in haggling and bargaining over the price, but after discussing
the cost twice she should either take the item or leave it. She
shouldn't allow any Sister to come to the turn without permis-
sion. If a Sister must go to the grate to speak with someone,
another Sister should be called to accompany her. The portress
should tell no one about what comes to pass at the turn except
the prioress, nor should she give anyone a letter without first giv-
ing it to the prioress to read. Neither should she, under pain of
grave fault, give a message to any Sister or pass one along to
someone outside without first giving it to the prioress.
39. The monitors should take great care to notice faults, for
this is an important office, and they should tell the prioress
about them, as was mentioned.23
40. The novice mistress should be very prudent, prayerful,
and spiritual. She should take great care to read the constitu-
tions to the novices and teach them all that they have to do with
regard to ceremonies and mortification. She should stress the
interior life more than exterior things, taking daily account of
how the novices are progressing in prayer, how they get along
with the mystery on which they must meditate, and of the bene-
fit they are deriving from it. She should teach them how to pro-
ceed with this practice and how in times of dryness to break
their own will even in small things. Let the one who has this
office be careful lest she grow careless in anything, for it is a
matter of educating souls so that the Lord might dwell in them.
Let her treat them compassionately and lovingly, not being sur-
prised by their faults, for they must advance little by little, and
mortify each one according to what her spirit can suffer. She
should lay more stress on doing away with the lack of virtue than
on rigorous penance. The prioress should send someone to help
her teach them to read.
41 . All the Sisters should give the prioress a monthly account
of how they have done in prayer, of how the Lord is leading
332
St. Teresa of Avila
them, for His Majesty will give her light so that if they are not
proceeding well she might guide them. Doing this requires hu-
mility and mortification and is very beneficial. Should the pri-
oress find that she has no one competent for the office of novice
mistress, she should herself take on the office and regard this
work as something most important and appoint someone to help
her.
42. When those who have an office must spend the hour de-
signated for prayer at their task, they should take another hour
for prayer in which they are the most likely to be free. This
should be understood to apply when they are not able to give
themselves to prayer for the whole, or greater part, of the
hour.24
57 . In each monastery a copy of these constitutions should be
kept in the chest of three keys, and there should be other copies
so that they may be read once a week to all the Sisters gathered
in community at a time fixed by the Mother prioress. Each Sis-
ter should keep them very much in mind, for this is what they
must do in order, with the help of the Lord, to advance far.
They should read them at times, and thus there should be more
copies in the monastery than those mentioned so that each one,
if she desires, may take a copy to her cell.
58. Alms in the form of money that the Lord might give
should always be placed at once in the chest of three keys save
when it amounts to less than nine or ten ducats. In this latter
case it should be given to the key-bearer designated by the prior-
ess, and she in turn will give the procuratrix what the prioress
has told the latter to spend. Each night before the bell is rung
for silence, the procuratrix should give a detailed account to
either the prioress or the key-bearer. And when the accounting
is made, they should together record it in the monastery book so
as to render a yearly account to the visitator.
Deo Gratias
59. The ordinal prescribes some of the disciplines that are to
be taken when the ferial Office is recited; the discipline is taken
The Constitutions
333
on ferial days in Advent and Lent; outside these times, on Mon-
days, Wednesdays, and Fridays when the ferial Office is recited.
In addition, it should be taken every Friday of the year for the
increase of the faith, for benefactors, for souls in purgatory, for
captives, and for those in mortal sin. A Miserere and prayers for
the Church and for those intentions mentioned should be re-
cited. Each one should take these disciplines herself in the choir
after Matins. The others are given with twigs as the ordinal pre-
scribes.25 No one should take any more disciplines without per-
mission, nor do anything penitential without it.
ON MAKING THE VISITATION
INTRODUCTION
As with the greater part of the Teresian writings, this
work represents a response to an obedience and reveals the
customary repugnance toward beginning the work. But when
finished, Teresa thought the result of her effort would prove
beneficial (no. 54), a conclusion that was not unusual for her.
Although nothing is expressly stated concerning the identity
of the one who gave her the orders to write this treatise, there is
no lack of evidence to the fact that it was Gracian. The visitator
for whom she was writing (no. 54) was in fact the one who had
ordered her to write her Foundations, and this latter was by
Teresa's own admission, Gracian {Foundations, ch. 27, no. 22).
It is not known with any certitude when Gracian gave Teresa
the orders to put her thoughts on paper with regard to a visita-
tion. All we can state definitely is that the work was finished
before she began the final part of the Foundations. But this
"final part of the Foundations" need not refer to the last foun-
dations, which Teresa began in 1581 . It refers most probably to
those foundations described in chapters 20-27 of that work.
After the foundation in Caravaca in 1576, Teresa figured that
her task was finished since the prior general had begun to op-
pose any new Teresian Carmels. What seems certain, then, is
that this little treatise would have been written in Toledo during
the summer of 1576, since on October 5, 1576, she wrote to
Gracian stating that she was going to begin writing about the
other foundations.
In the first edition of St. Teresa's works, published in 1588 by
Fray Luis de Leon, this present writing, as was true also of the
335
336
St. Teresa of Avila
Foundations, was omitted. After Luis de Leon's death, the auto-
graph of this treatise remained in the possession of Dr. Francisco
Sobrino, who was a professor at the university of Valladolid.
When Philip II sought the manuscripts of Teresa for his library
at the Escorial, this autograph was sent there, where it still re-
mains.
Not until 1613 was it published for the first time, and this in
compliance with the wishes of the general of the order, Alonso
de Jesus Maria. The printed edition also included a pastoral let-
ter by Padre Alonso. No mention was made of Gracian, who was
still alive, and some passages referring to him were retouched;
the epilogue (nos. 54-55), addressed to him personally, was sup-
pressed. Since the autograph contains no title, one had to be
given: "A Treatise on the Manner of Visiting the Convents of
the Discalced Nuns of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Composed
by Mother Teresa of Jesus, their Foundress."
This edition of Padre Alonso served as the model for others
until the last century. A faithful rendering of the text of the
autograph did not appear until the critical edition of Padre
Silverio in 1919.
Speaking frankly in this work with Gracian, who tended to be
somewhat soft, Teresa offers to visitators the fruit of her experi-
ences in religious life and of her understanding of the feminine
psyche. She presents a series of practical counsels and sugges-
tions so that a visitation might amount to something more than
a mere formality. Her short treatise reveals solid common sense
and realism as well as some keen powers of observation and in-
sight into human nature.
K. K.
ON MAKING THE VISITATION
1 . I confess, first of all, my imperfect obedience at the outset
of this writing. Even though I desire the virtue of obedience
more than anything else, beginning this work has been the greatest
mortification for me, and I have felt a strong repugnance to-
ward doing so. May it please our Lord that I succeed in saying
something, for I trust only in His mercy and in the humility of
the one who ordered me to write this, so that, through that hu-
mility, God, who is powerful, will do the work and not depend
on me.
2. It seems an inappropriate thing to begin with temporal
matters. Yet I think that these are most important for the pro-
motion of the spiritual good, although in monasteries founded
in poverty this doesn't seem to be so. But in all monasteries it is
necessary to have good order and attend to matters concerning
government and the harmonious organization of everything.
3. First, let it be presupposed as extremely appropriate that
the visitator so behave toward the nuns that even though on the
one hand he is affable and loving, on the other hand he makes it
known that in essential matters he will be strict and by no means
lenient. I don't believe there is anything in the world that harms
a visitator as much as does being unfeared and allowing subjects
to deal with him as with an equal. This is true especially in the
case of women. Once they know that the visitator is so soft that
he will pass over their faults and change his mind so as not to
sadden them, he will have great difficulty in governing them.
4. It is very necessary that they understand there is some one
in command, who is not tenderhearted, when it comes to mat-
ters that would weaken the religious observance. The judge
must be so upright in administering justice that they become
convinced he will not turn aside from whatever might be more
perfect and for the greater service of God even if the whole world
crumbles. And they must understand that he will be affable and
337
338
St. Teresa of Avila
loving toward them as long as he knows there is no fault in the
above. Just as it is necessary that he also show compassion and
that he love them as a father— and this is very important for
their consolation and that he not alienate them — so are these
other qualities I mentioned necessary. And if either of these be
lacking, it is imcomparably better that the latter be lacking
than the former.
5 . The official visitation should take place once a year so that
with love faults may be gradually corrected and removed. For if
the nuns do not understand that at the end of the year those who
have committed them will be corrected and punished, year af-
ter year goes by and the religious observance becomes so lax that
when one wants to provide a remedy it is impossible to do so. Al-
though the fault lies with the prioress, and even though she is
changed for another, the nuns grow accustomed to the relaxa-
tion in observance. In our human nature custom is a terrible
thing, and little by little, through small things, irremediable
harm is done to the order. The visitator who does not provide a
remedy in time will have to give a terrible accounting to God.
6 . It seems to me that by dealing with these matters I'm being
offensive to these monasteries of the Virgin, our Lady, since
through the Lord's goodness they are far removed from any
need for this severity. But it is my fear that makes me say this, a
fear stemming from the fact that with time, through a lack of
carefulness at the beginning, laxity usually creeps into monas-
teries. Also I see that each day through the goodness of God the
nuns are making more progress. And in some communities
there might have been some failure if the visitator had not done
what I am saying here about severity in remedying these little
things and deposing the prioresses whom they found were not
suited for the job.
7. In this latter regard, especially, there must be no pity, be-
cause many prioresses will be very holy but not suited for the of-
fice of prioress, and it's necessary to remedy the matter quickly.
Here, where there is so much concern for mortification and
practices of humility, this will not be taken as an offense. If a
nun should take it as an offense, it's obvious that she is not suited
for the office. Anyone who has so little perfection that she wants
On Making the Visitation
339
to be prioress should not be governing souls who are so much in-
volved with the pursuit of perfection.
8. The visitator must keep God in mind and the favor the
Lord has granted to these houses lest because of him the favor
be lessened; and he should cast out all feelings of pity. The devil
causes these for the sake of doing great harm. This pity is the
greatest cruelty the visitator could show to the nuns.
9. It's impossible that all those elected prioresses will have
the talent for the office. When it is realized that they do not, the
first year should by no means pass without their being removed
from office. In one year not much harm can be done but if three
go by she could destroy the monastery by allowing imperfections
to become the custom. And removing her from office is so ex-
tremely important that even if it kills him, because he thinks she
is holy and her intentions good, he should force himself to do so.
This is the only thing I ask, for the love of God. And if he should
see that the nuns who are electing a prioress solicit or campaign,
which God forbid, he should nullify the election and nominate
prioresses from other monasteries for them to choose from. For
no good can come from an election made in this way.
10. I don't know if what I've said belongs to the temporal or
spiritual order.1 What I wanted to begin with is that the
visitator should examine very carefully and attentively the
financial records and not pass over them lightly. Especially in
houses having an income, it is very important that the expenses
not exceed the income even though the community may have to
go without something. For if they spend in accordance with
their means, those houses founded with an income will have
enough and get along very well, glory to God. Otherwise, if the
community begins to go into debt, it will gradually be ruined.
For in the event of great need, it will seem inhuman to major
superiors to forbid individuals to keep money earned from their
work or that relatives provide for them or similar things that
are the practice now in different monasteries.2 1 would unques-
tionably prefer to see a monastery dissolved than to see it reach
such a state. This is why I said3 that a lack of care in temporal
matters can cause great harm in spiritual matters, and thus this
advice is most important. In the monasteries founded in poverty,
340
St. Teresa of Avila
the visitator should examine carefully and advise strongly so
that the nuns do not go into debt, because if they have faith and
serve God, they will not be in want— unless they spend too
much.
11. In the monasteries, both those founded in poverty and
those with an income, the visitator should learn in detail about
the ration of food the nuns are given and about how they are
treated, especially the sick, and he should see to it that the needs
of the nuns are sufficiently taken care of. The Lord never fails to
provide for these needs as long as the prioress has courage and
diligence; experience teaches this.
12. In both kinds of monasteries4 he should take note of the
work that is being done and even record what the nuns have
earned by the work of their hands. This is useful for two reasons:
first, so as to encourage and thank those who have done a great
deal; second, so that in those monasteries where there is not so
much care taken about work because there is not so much need
the nuns may be told about what others earn . This keeping rec-
ord of the handwork that is done, apart from the temporal ad-
vantages, has advantages in every other respect. And it is very
consoling to the nuns when they are at work to know that it will
be seen by the visitator. Even though this is not an important
matter, we women who live so enclosed a life and whose consola-
tion is found in pleasing the visitator should be treated at times
with a sensitive understanding of our weaknesses.
13. He should inquire whether there is any excess in gift giv-
ing. This is particularly necessary in houses having an income,
for prioresses could overdo it and destroy the monasteries
through what seems of little importance. Should it happen that
a prioress is extravagant, the nuns could be left without food, it
having been given away, as has happened in some monasteries.
For this reason, it is necessary to reflect on what can be done, on
the amount of alms that can be given in accord with the income,
and to have a reasonable and fixed amount for everything.
14. He should not easily consent to houses that are too large,
or allow the nuns, without great necessity, to go into debt in
order to build or add on to them. And for this it would be neces-
On Making the Visitation
341
sary to give the order that no construction be undertaken with-
out informing the major superior and giving an account of where it
is to be done so that he may judge whether or not to give the per-
mission. This should not be taken to refer to little things that
cannot do much harm. But it is better that the nuns suffer the
trouble of not having a good house than that they be worried,
and disedifying to others, because of debts and lack of food.
15. It is very important that he always inspect the whole
house to determine how recollection is preserved, for it is good
that he remove the occasions and not trust in the sanctity he sees
however great; no one knows the future. And thus it is necessary
to think of all the evil that could arise, so that, as I say, the occa-
sion may be removed. He should observe especially whether
there be two grates at the grille in the parlor, one on the outside
and one on the inside, and whether they are such that no hand
can reach through. This is very important. He should look at
the confessionals and see to it that the curtains are nailed over
the confessional window and that the Communion window is
small. The door at the entrance should have two bolts and there
should be two keys for the door to the enclosure, as the Acts5 or-
dain, one of which is kept by the portress and the other by the
prioress. I know that this is done now, but so that it will not be
forgotten, I have put it down here, for it is always necessary that
these things be looked into and that the nuns see that the visita-
tor does so, and thus there will be no carelessness about them.
16. It is very important that he inquire about the chaplain,
who the confessor is and whether there is more communication
with him than necessary. And he should inquire very particu-
larly about this from the nuns and also about the preservation of
recollection in the house. And if some nun should be tempted to
misjudge, he ought to listen to her very carefully. Even though
often what she thinks will not be so, and she will exaggerate it,
he can inquire about the truth from the other nuns putting
them under the precept of obedience. And having found out
the truth, he should afterward reprimand her severely so that
this will not happen again.
17. And if some of the nuns are taken up with trifles or exag-
gerate things without there being any fault on the part of the
342
St. Teresa of Avila
prioress, it's necessary to be strict with them and get them to re-
alize their own blindness so that they don't go about disturbed.
If they become aware that their conduct is no benefit to them
but recognized for what it is, they will be quiet. When there is
nothing serious, the prioresses should always be supported, even
though the faults may be corrected. For the sake of peace and
quiet, the simplicity of perfect obedience is a great help. The
devil could tempt some nuns with the notion that they know bet-
ter than the prioress and should go about always paying atten-
tion to things that matter little, and they could do much harm
to themselves. The discreet visitator will recognize this and help
them improve, although if they are melancholic he will have a
great deal to do. He should never be softhearted with these lat-
ter, for if they think they're going to get somewhere, they'll
never stop being a bother, nor will they themselves be at rest.
They must realize always that they will be punished and that
they must consequently support the prioress.
18. If some nun should perhaps speak of being transferred to
another monastery, he must answer in such a way that neither
she nor anyone would think that this is ever something possible.
For no one except the one who has seen it happen can know the
tremendous troubles that are apt to arise and how the door is
open for the devil to tempt the nuns when they think it is possi-
ble to transfer from their monastery. They shouldn't think this
no matter how great their reasons. And even if a transfer should
have to be made, they must not be aware of the reason or think
that it was made because they wanted it. Other subterfuges
should be used, for she will never settle down anywhere, and
much harm will be done to the other nuns. Let the nuns under-
stand that the visitator will never in any way trust the nun who is
trying to get a transfer from her house, and that even if he
should have to transfer her, I mean because of some need or for
some foundation, he will not do so if she is trying for one. This is
all right to do because these temptations never come except to
melancholies or those of such a temperament that they are not
much help for anything. And perhaps it would even be good,
before anyone try to do this, that he speak in a conference to the
community about how harmful this is and the poor opinion he
On Making the Visitation
343
will have of the one who considers this temptation, and he
should give his reasons and explain how no one any longer can
be transferred and that until now there were some occasions in
which a transfer was necessary.6
19. He should inquire whether the prioress has some particu-
lar friendship with a nun, doing more for this one than for the
others. As for the rest, he shouldn't bother unless there is some
extreme, for prioresses need to deal more with those who have
greater intelligence and discretion. And since our human nature
doesn't allow us to recognize ourselves for what we are, each
nuns thinks she is an expert. Thus, the devil tempts them
through trifles coming from inside so that there will always be
war; but merit can be gained by resisting. Therefore, it will
seem to them that this nun, or these others, are governing the
prioress. The visitator should try to get her to moderate any ex-
cess that there may be in this friendship because it would occa-
sion a great temptation for the weak nuns. But the friendship
should not be taken away entirely, for, as I say, these persons
could be the kind for whom it is necessary. However, it is always
good to insist that there be no great familiarity with anyone.
Soon the true colors will be seen.
20. There are some so extremely perfect, in their opinion,
that everything they see seems to be a fault, and these are always
the ones who have more faults themselves. But they don't see
them and they put all the blame on the poor prioress or on the
others. Thus they could fool the visitator into wanting to correct
what is being done well. It is, as a result, necessary to avoid be-
lieving one nun alone, as I have said,7 and to inquire about
something from the others before correcting it. In a monastery
where there is so much rigor, life would become unbearable if
each visitator, in each visitation, were to make new decrees. This
is very important.8 Thus he should not make any decrees, unless
the matter is serious and, as I say, he has inquired fully of the
prioress herself and the other nuns about the correction he
wants to make, and about why and how it should be done. For
the nuns could become so weighed down with decrees that, un-
able to observe them, they will also give up what is more impor-
tant in the rule.
344
St. Teresa of Avila
21. What the visitator should insist upon is that the nuns
observe the constitutions. A prioress who takes great liberty in
breaking the laws of the constitutions and does so for little
reason or habitually, thinking that this or that matters little,
will do great harm to the house. Let this be understood, and if it
doesn't appear so at once, time will prove it. This is the reason
monasteries and even religious orders have gone so astray in
some places. They pay little attention to small matters and
hence come to fall in very great ones. The visitator should insist
publicly with the nuns that they inform him of any fault in the
monastery with regard to the constitutions and that if he should
learn of something afterward he will punish severely the person
who should have informed him. With this, the prioresses will be
fearful and will proceed carefully.
22. It's necessary to avoid compromising with the prioress
whether she becomes sad or not. Let her understand that this
method of procedure is to be always followed and that the main
reason she was elected to office is that she foster observance of
the rule and constitutions and not remove or add according to
her own whim and that there will be someone who will watch
this and inform the visitator. I hold that it is impossible for any
prioress to fulfill her office well if she becomes upset that the
visitator learned of something she does. A sign that something is
not done fully for the service of God is that I do not want it
known by the one who stands in His place. And, thus, the
visitator should note whether there is openness and truth in the
things the nuns discuss with him, and if there is not, he should
reprimand them with great severity and strive by means of
warnings to the prioress or officeholders, or by using other pro-
cedures, to foster this openness. Even though the nuns may not
lie, they can cover up some things. But the head, through whose
government one lives, must know everything. It isn't right for
the nuns to hide what must be corrected from the visitator, for a
good body can do nothing without a head, and he is no less than
that.
23. I conclude this matter by saying that if the constitutions
are observed everything will run smoothly. If there is no great
care for their observance or that of the rule, visitations will be of
On Making the Visitation
345
little avail— this is the reason for them— unless the prioresses are
changed. And even the nuns in the community may be trans-
ferred if, God forbid, this has already become a custom, and
other nuns who are faithful in keeping the religious observance
brought in, as though one were newly founding the monastery.
And the former nuns should be divided and each placed in a
different monastery, for one or two of them will not be able to
do much harm in a well-regulated monastery.
24. It should be noted that there may be prioresses who will
ask for some freedom with regard to certain things against the
constitutions and will give, perhaps, enough reasons, in their
opinion. Either they will perhaps know no better or they will try
to make the visitator think this is appropriate. And even though
these things may not go against the constitutions, they could be
of such kind that it would be harmful to admit them. Since the
visitator is not present, he doesn't know what harm there can
be— and we know how to exaggerate in order to get what we
want. For this reason the best policy is to keep the door closed to
anything that is not in conformity with the way things are going
now since we see that they are going well and are proven by ex-
perience. The certain is better than the doubtful. And in these
cases the visitator must be firm and not worry about saying no.
Rather, he should act with the freedom and holy authority I men-
tioned at the beginning9 so that he is indifferent as to whether he
pleases or displeases the prioresses and the nuns in matters that
otherwise could cause some trouble in the future. And the fact that
something is a novelty is reason enough for not starting it.
25. In regard to the permission to accept nuns, a very impor-
tant matter, the visitator should not give it without receiving a
full account. And he should inquire himself, if he is in a place
where it is possible to do so, for there can be prioresses so fond of
taking in nuns as to be satisfied with little. And if the prioress
wants to admit someone and says that she is well informed, her
subjects almost always agree with what she wants. But it could
happen that the prioress might be inclined to admit an aspirant
because she is a friend or relative or out of some other personal
considerations. And she will think she is right and yet be wrong.
26. Any mistake made in admitting nuns can be easily reme-
346
St. Teresa of Avila
died. But before allowing them to make profession, it is nec-
essary to be most careful. If there are novices, the visitator at the
time of the visitation should inquire about them so that he may
make an informed judgment when the time comes to grant the
license for profession. Possibly the novice is a friend and pro-
tegee of the prioress, and the subjects do not dare speak their
mind; but they will to the visitator. And thus, if possible, it
would be a good thing to delay the profession, if the time for it is
near, until the superior comes to make his visitation. If it seems
fitting, he should even tell them to send him the results of the
secret balloting as is done for the election. So important is it not
to keep anyone in the monastery who will be the cause of trouble
and restlessness all her life that every care taken will be well
worthwhile.
27. In the receiving of lay Sisters, it is necessary to take
careful note because almost all the prioresses are fond of having
many lay Sisters, and the houses become filled up, and some-
times with those who can do little work. Thus it's very necessary
for him not to yield right away if he sees no notable need. He
should inquire about the number of lay Sisters, for since the
number has not been established, great harm can be done if
there is no prudence about accepting them.
28. An effort should always be made in each house that the
number of nuns be less than that allowed so that some vacancies
may remain, for it could happen that someone, whom it would
be very advantageous for the house to accept, might want to en-
ter, and there will be no room. By no means should one consent
to go beyond the fixed number, for this would open the door to
no less than the destruction of the monasteries. For this reason it
is better to deny what might be advantageous to one monastery
than to do harm to them all. It could be, and this would be a
remedy, that if in another monastery the number is not com-
plete a nun could transfer to that monastery so that the aspirant
might enter. But the nun who is transferring should be given the
dowry or alms she brought with her, if she did so, since she will
be in the other monastery permanently. But if this should be
impossible, let what must be lost be lost, and let not something
so harmful to everyone be started. The provincial must neces-
On Making the Visitation
347
sarily be informed when permission is sought concerning the
number of nuns so that he can decide what is fitting; in some-
thing so important it's not right to trust the prioresses.
29. It's necessary for the visitator to inquire about whether
the prioresses have added more vocal prayers and penances
than is obligatory. It could happen that each one, according to
her own taste, might add particular things and so burden the
nuns that they will lose their health and not be able to do what
they are obliged to do. This must not be understood to apply
when on some day there is a certain need. But there are usually
some prioresses so indiscreet that they do this almost habitually,
and the nuns do not dare speak, thinking this would show a lack
of devotion. Nor is it right that they do speak except with the
visitator.
30. He should look into how the vocal prayer is said in choir,
whether chanted or recited, and inquire as to whether it is done
slowly, and the chanting should be done in a soft voice which is
edifying and in conformity with the life we profess. Chanting
with a loud voice is doubly harmful: first, it sounds bad because
the vocal prayer is not being sung; second, the reserve and spirit
of our way of life are lost. If the above is not greatly insisted
upon, they will go to excess and take away the devotion of those
who hear them. The voices should be subdued and not manifest
any concern on the part of the nuns about sounding nice to
those who are listening. This concern has become almost uni-
versal, and it seems there will no longer be any remedy for it
since it has become fashionable, and thus it is necessary to stress
the above a great deal.
31 . In regard to important commands, it would be very good
for the visitator to order one of the nuns, under obedience, in
the presence of the prioress, to write to him if any of the com-
mands is not observed so that the prioress understands that the
nun cannot do otherwise. The visitator thereby would in a way
be present, for the nuns will proceed more carefully and be on
their guard not to go against any of his orders.
32. Before the visitation takes place it would be appropriate
for him to stress strongly how wrong it would be for prioresses to
348
St. Teresa of Avila
take offense at Sisters who tell the visitator of faults they have
seen. Even though these Sisters may be incorrect in their judg-
ment, they are nonetheless obliged in conscience to do this. And
in a place where mortification is the practice, it is a sure sign
that a prioress is not fit to govern if she takes offense at the nuns
on account of a deed that should please her because it helps her
to serve our Lord and fulfill her office better. The next time
they will not dare speak knowing that the visitator will go away
and that they will be left with trouble; and everything could
gradually grow lax. The visitator should make his remarks how-
ever holy the prioresses may be, and should not be trustful in
this matter, for our human nature is weak and the enemy so
skillful that when there are no other things with which to tempt
he will strike hard here and perhaps gain what he loses else-
where.
33 . It is most fitting that the visitator observe great secrecy in
everything and that the prioress be unable to ascertain who the
informer is. For, as I have said,10 these nuns are still on earth.
And if, for no other reason, he should do so at least for the sake
of removing some temptation, how much more if the tempta-
tion is one that could do much harm.
34. If the things they say about the prioresses are not impor-
tant, the visitator could make them known in a roundabout way
so that it will not be known that the nuns have informed him. It
is most fitting that insofar as possible he let the prioresses think
that the nuns have nothing to say against them. But in impor-
tant matters it is better that the situation be corrected than that
the prioresses be pleased.
35. It is very important that he inquire whether any money
gets into the hands of the prioresses without the knowledge of
the key- bearers, for this could happen without her adverting to
it, or even whether she possesses anything except in conformity
with the constitutions. 1 1 This is also necessary in houses founded
in poverty. It seems to me I have said this before, 12 and the same
will happen with other things; but as the days go by I forget and
do not want to take the time to read this over.
36. It will be very bothersome for the visitator to attend to
On Making the Visitation
349
the many trifling matters referred to here, but it will be more
bothersome for him when from his not doing so he sees the back-
sliding that will result. As I have said,13 however holy the nuns
may be, it is necessary for him to attend to these matters. And,
as I have said at the beginning,14 the most important thing in
the government of women is the necessity of their understand-
ing that they have a head who will not be moved for anything on
earth and that he has to observe and comply with all that per-
tains to religious observance and to punish what is contrary to it.
They must perceive that he takes special care about this in each
house and that he not only makes a visitation once a year but
wants to know what they are doing every day. In this way, they
will go on growing in perfection rather than diminishing, for
women, in general, are upright and fearful.
37. And what I said is very important so that there be no
carelessness. And sometimes, when necessary, action should ac-
company words; if he punishes one for something, others will
avoid it. If out of compassion, or for other motives, he does the
opposite at the beginning, when things are small, he will be
forced to act more rigorously afterward. And these acts of pity
will turn out to be the greatest cruelty, and he will have to ren-
der an exact account to God, our Lord.
38. There are some nuns with such great simplicity that they
think it is a serious fault on their part to tell the visitator about
the faults of the prioresses in matters that have to be corrected.
These nuns must be told that even though they may think this
an unworthy action they are obliged to do so and also that they
should beforehand humbly tell the prioress when they see that
she is at fault in observing the constitutions or in matters of im-
portance, for it could be that she doesn't realize this. They
should even tell her to correct it, and if afterward she is dis-
pleased with them, they should accuse her. There is much ig-
norance about what to do in these visitations, and thus it is
necessary that the visitator discreetly call their attention to this
and instruct them.
39 . It is very important to inquire about procedures concern-
ing the confessor, and not from one or two nuns but from all of
them, and about how much power he is given. Since he is not
350
St. Teresa of Avila
the vicar, nor must there ever be one, for this office was taken
away so that he might not have such power, it is important that
communication with him be only very moderate, and the less
there is the better. And the prioress should be very careful with
regard to giving gifts and complimentary presents, unless they
are very small; although sometimes one cannot avoid giving
something. The prioress should rather pay the chaplain more
than what is his due from the chaplaincy than have this con-
cern, for it brings with it many troubles.
40. It is also necessary to counsel the prioresses not to be too
generous and liberal but to keep in mind that they are obliged to
reflect on how they spend money. They are no more than stew-
ards and must not spend as if the money were their own but ac-
cording to reason and with great care so that their expenditures
are not excessive. Apart from the obligation not to disedify, the
prioress is obliged in conscience to use this care and to take
charge of temporal matters, and not keep especially for herself
anything that the others do not have, unless the key to a desk or
drawer for keeping papers, I mean letters or similar things, for
it is right that these be kept secret, especially if they contain
some counsels from the provincial.
41 . He should observe whether the habit and toque are made
as prescribed in the constitutions. If, God forbid, there should
appear at some time something that seems to be an adornment,
and not very edifying, he should make the nun burn it in his
presence. By his doing something like this, the nuns will be
frightened and correct the fault, and the incident will be re-
counted to those who come in the future.
42 . He should also notice their manner of speaking, that it be
simple, plain, and religious, more in the style of hermits and
solitaries, and that they don't begin to adapt the latest fashion-
able expressions or the sweet talk, I believe they call it, used in
the world, for new things are ever coming into style. In these
matters, let them glory in appearing somewhat boorish rather
than highly polished.
43. Insofar as possible they should avoid lawsuits, for the
Lord will by other means grant them what they might lose by
On Making the Visitation 351
foregoing a lawsuit. He should always guide them so that they
will keep to what is more perfect, and he should order them not
to undertake or undergo any lawsuit without informing the pro-
vincial and following his special orders.
44. He should warn them, with respect to new members be-
ing received into the community, to esteem the personal talents
of aspirants more than what they bring with them. No one
should be admitted out of self-interest, but in accord with the
constitutions, especially if there is some fault in that person's
temperament.
45. It is necessary that visitators of the future follow what is
done now by the provincial that the Lord has given us. 15 1 have
taken much of what I've said here from observing his visitations,
especially the following point: he shows no more familiarity to
one Sister (in such a way that he spends time alone with her or
writes to her) than he does to all, but he shows love to all to-
gether as a true father. The day in which a visitator in some
monastery should have a particular friendship, even though it
may be like that between St. Jerome and St. Paula, he will not
escape the critical remarks of others, anymore than those two
did. And not only will it do harm in that monastery but in all of
them, for the devil will at once make it known so as to gain
something. Because of our sins the world has gone so astray in
this respect that many troubles arise, as is now seen.
46. If the visitator should act in this way, he would be held in
less esteem and lose the general love that all the nuns, if he were
what he ought to be, would have for him, as they do have now.
For they will think that he has set his love on one alone, and it is
very advantageous for him to be much loved by all. This does
not refer to times in which necessity may require some special
attention, but to things that are noticeable and excessive.
47. Let him keep in mind that when he enters the house (I
mean the monastery, to visit the enclosure), for it is right that he
always do so and that he inspect carefully the whole house, as
has already been said,16 that he should be accompanied by his
companion and by the prioress and a few other nuns. By no
means, even if this takes place in the morning, should he stay to
352
St. Teresa of Avila
eat in the monastery, even if they urge him to do so. But let him
carry out his tasks and then leave immediately. If he wants to
talk, it is better that he do so at the grille in the parlor. Even
though he could do otherwise in complete goodness and sim-
plicity, it would be a beginning. And perhaps with the passing
of time someone might come along to whom it would not be fitting
to give so much freedom, and he may want to take more. May it
please the Lord not to allow this, but may these things, and
everything else always be done in an edifying way as they are
now, amen, amen.
48. The visitator should never allow them to go to excess in
the meals given him during the days of the visitation but consent
only to what is appropriate. If he notices otherwise, let him dili-
gently correct this, for it would not be in keeping with the pro-
fession of the visit ators, which is that of poverty, nor with that of
the nuns, nor would it be of benefit to anyone. The visitators
should eat no more than what is sufficient, otherwise they would
not be giving appropriate edification to the nuns. As for the
present, with regard to this excess, I don't think there could be
much of a remedy, because the visitator we have doesn't notice
whether the food given him is little or much, good or bad, nor
do I know if he is capable of recognising the difference unless
someone very carefully draws his attention to it.
49. He is most cautious to be alone, without a companion,
when he has the official interviews, for he does not want it to be
known if there is any fault in the nuns. It's something to be ad-
mired when the childish doings of the nuns, if there be any, are
kept secret. Now, glory to God, little harm is done because the
visitator looks upon things as would a father and thus keeps
them secret; and God reveals the seriousness of the task to him,
for he stands in God's place. Someone who does not stand in
God's place will perhaps think that what amounts to nothing is a
great matter. Since such a one does not have the responsibility
that the visitator has, he takes little care about not speaking of
these things, and the reputation of the monastery is lost for no
reason. May it please our Lord that the visitators keep these
things in mind so as to behave always in this way.
On Making the Visitation
353
50. It is not fitting for the visitator to show any great love for
the prioress or that he gets along well with her, at least not in the
presence of all the nuns. For this will make them lose courage,
and they will not dare tell him her faults. He should be very
aware that they have to know that he will correct whatever has
to be corrected. There is no affliction like the one that comes to
a soul zealous for God and the order when she becomes anxious
at seeing that the order is failing and hopes that the visitator will
correct the matter only to find out that everything remains the
same. Seeing the little good that it did her to speak up, she turns
to God and decides to be quiet from then on even though every-
thing crumbles.
51. The poor nuns are heard no more than once, that is,
when they are called for the official interview, whereas the
prioresses have much time for excusing faults and giving reasons
and setting their own times for speaking with the visitator, and
will perhaps suggest that the poor nun who may have said some-
thing is over emotional. Even though he may not be told who
this nun is, the visitator will more or less understand to whom
these prioresses are referring. He is not himself a witness, but
things are told to him in such a way that he cannot help believ-
ing them. For these reasons, after the visitation, everything stays
as it was. If he could be a witness within the community for
many days, he would know the truth. The prioresses do not
think they are untruthful, but this self love of ours is such that
it's a wonder if we ever blame ourselves, nor do we know our-
selves.
52. I myself have experienced this many times, and with
prioresses who were very, very great servants of God whom I
trusted so much that it seemed to me impossible for the facts to
be otherwise. Yet once, after spending some days in a house, I
was amazed to see something so contrary to what I had been
told, in an important matter, that I came to recognize along
with almost half the community the partiality involved, and it
was the prioress herself who did not realize this as afterward she
came to understand. Since the devil does not have many oppor-
tunities to tempt the Sisters, I think he tempts the prioresses so
354
St. Teresa of Avila
that they might have opinions in some matters different from
those of the Sisters; and to see how these latter suffer everything
is something for which to praise our Lord. Thus it is now my
practice not to believe anyone until I have gathered all the in-
formation so that I can make the one who has been deceived un-
derstand that she has. Without proceeding in this way, it would
be difficult to correct a wrong. Nothing of this refers to serious
faults, but if we do not proceed with care, the faults could grow
worse.
53. I am amazed to see the subtlety of the devil and how he
makes each one think she is telling the greatest truth in the
world. This is why I have said17 that complete trust should not
be given to the prioress or to any nun in particular but that in-
formation should be gathered from a greater number, when
dealing with something important, so that an effective remedy
may be provided. May our Lord provide such a remedy by al-
ways giving us a holy and prudent visitator, for if he possesses
these qualities, he will be enlightened by His Majesty so as to do
the right thing in all and come to know us. In this way the gov-
ernment will be very good, and souls will grow in perfection for
the honor and glory of God.18
54. I beg your Paternity, in payment for the mortification I
underwent in writing this, that you undergo the same by writing
yourself some counsels for visit at ors. If anything useful has been
said here, it can be put into better order; and it will be helpful.
Now I am going to begin the final part of the Foundations,19
and this can be added there; for it will prove very beneficial.
Yet, I am afraid that there will be no one else so humble, as the
one who ordered me to write, that he will want to benefit from
it. But if God wants this, such a one will be unable to do other-
wise. If these monasteries are visited in the way that is now
customary in the order, there will be little fruit;20 and there
could come more harm than good. In fact, it would be necessary
to mention many more things than I have here (for either I don't
know them or I don't remember them now). Greater care is nec-
essary only at the beginning. If the nuns understand that the
On Making the Visitation
355
visitation will be carried out in this way, there will be little trou-
ble in governing them.
55 . Do your part by writing those counsels I mentioned about
the way in which Your Paternity now proceeds in these visita-
tions.21 Through His mercy and the merits of these Sisters, our
Lord will provide the rest since the Sisters' intention is to do
what is right for His service in everything and to be taught how
to do so.
A SATIRICAL CRITIQUE
INTRODUCTION
Once in prayer Teresa heard the words, "seek yourself in
me." In awe over the meaning they might contain, she
sent them to her brother Don Lorenzo so that he might reflect
on them. Lorenzo took the matter so seriously that, unable to
penetrate what lay hidden in the words, he decided to consult
his spiritual friends. The consultation was a serious and solemn
one at which the consultants were gathered in the parlor of the
monastery of St. Joseph in Avila at Christmas time in 1576. Those
who took part in the discussion, in the presence of the nuns and
the bishop of Avila, were Francisco de Salcedo, Julian de Avila,
Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, and St. John of the Cross. As the dis-
cussion was in progress the circle of friends began to feel keenly
the absence of Madre Teresa. At the time she was staying in
Toledo, but she was a member of the community of Avila and it
was there that she had chosen to reside in obedience to the
orders of the prior general. The outcome was a decision by the
bishop that those present should write out their reflections on
the meaning of the words and that these be sent to Teresa for
her judgment. The nuns also sent their reflections.
The style of Teresa's response is shaped by the kind of satirical
ceremony that was at that time held in Spanish universities be-
fore conferral of the doctor's degree. In these comical sessions
the candidate became the subject of some festive bantering by
professors and students. Teresa states expressly "I have no in-
tention of saying anything good about what the contestants
have written,' (no. 3). Her critique, then, of their written reflec-
tions sparkles with a kind of playful satire.
With the exception of nos. 8-9, the autograph text is con-
357
358
St. Teresa of Avila
served in the monastery of the Carmelite nuns in Guadalajara.
The last two numbers are taken from the text found in the edi-
tion of Teresa's letters published in Zaragosa in 1658 by Pala-
fox.
None of the contestants' responses has been preserved save
Don Lorenzo's. The nuns of St. Joseph's had also sent their re-
flections, but all that we know of Teresa's judgment of them is
contained in her letter to Don Lorenzo, January 2, 1577: "Some
of the Sisters' replies made me laugh. Others were extremely
good and have given me light on the matter." As for Teresa's
own thoughts on the words, they may in part be found in her
poem Seeking God.
K. K.
A SATIRICAL CRITIQUE
On the Words "Seek Yourself in Me"
1. If obedience had not forced me, I would certainly not
have answered, nor, for certain reasons, would I have accepted
the role of judge. But none of my reasons is the one the Sisters
here give: namely, that my brother is among the contestants
and that seemingly affection will distort justice. Indeed, I love
all the contestants since each of them has helped me bear my
trials. My brother came along at the end of my drinking from
the chalice, although he has shared in some part of it and will
share in it more with the Lord's help. With the condition my
head is in after the many letters and business matters I have
been attending to from last night till now, I ask God to give me
the grace not to say anything that might merit my being de-
nounced to the Inquisition. But obedience can do all, and thus I
will do what Your Excellency commands, whether it turns out
good or bad. I have desired to enjoy myself for a while reflecting
on the contestants' papers that were sent to me, but I have had
no chance to do so.
On Francisco de Salcedo's Reply
2. It seems that the motto, "Seek yourself in Me" is said by
the Spouse of our souls. Well, an indication that Senor Fran-
cisco de Salcedo errs is that he stresses so much that God is in all
things; the Spouse knows that He is in all things.
3. Senor Francisco also says a great deal about the intellect
and union. It is well known that in union the intellect does not
work. If it does not work, how can it seek? That which he says,
quoting David, "I will hear what God speaks within me,"1 pleased
359
360
St. Teresa of Avila
me very much, for this peace in the faculties (referred to by the
word "people") is to be highly esteemed. But I have no intention
of saying anything good about what the contestants have writ-
ten. Thus, I say that the explanation is off the mark because the
motto does not say "let us hear," but "let us seek."
4. And worst of all, if he does not retract what he wrote, I will
have to denounce him to the Inquisition which is nearby. For
after quoting again and again throughout the entire paper
words of St. Paul and the Holy Spirit, he refers, in signing his
paper, to the things he wrote as stupidities. Let him correct this
at once; if he doesn't he will see what happens!
On Julian de A Vila's Reply
5. He began well, but ended poorly; thus, the honor should
not be given to him. They didn't ask him here to explain how
the uncreated and the created light are joined but how we seek
ourselves in God. Nor did we ask him what a soul feels when it is
united with its Creator. And if it is united with Him, how does it
have an opinion about whether there is a difference or not? In
this union the intellect is, I think, incapable of entering into
these disputes. If it were capable, it could easily understand the
difference that lies between the Creator and the creature. The
contestant also says, "when it is purified." I believe that neither
virtues nor purifications are enough here because the union is a
supernatural thing, and God gives it to whom He wants. If there
is something that disposes for this union, it is love. But I forgive
him his errors because he did not go on at such length as did my
Father Fray John of the Cross.
On Father Fray John of the Cross's Reply
6. In his answer he presents very good doctrine for anyone
who might want to follow the exercises they make in the Society
of Jesus but not for what we have in mind. Seeking God would be
very costly if we could not do so until we were dead to the world.
Tlie^lagdalene^as not dead to the world when she found him,
A Satirical Critique
361
nor was the Samaritan woman or the Canaanite woman.2 Fur-
thermore, he treats a great deal about becoming one with God
in union. But when this union comes about and God grants the
soul this favor, one would not say that the soul seeks Him but
that it has already found Him.
7. God deliver me from people so spiritual that they want to
turn everything into perfect contemplation, no matter what.
Nonetheless, we are grateful to him for having explained so well
what we did not ask. Thus, it is good to speak always of God, for
where we do not expect it, benefit will come to us.
Seizor Lorenzo de Cepedas Reply
8. So, benefit has come to us in Senor Lorenzo de Cepeda's
reply. We are very grateful to him for his couplets and response.
If he has spoken of more than he understands, we pardon him—
because of the recreation he has given us — for his little humility
in getting into such sublime matters, as he himself says in his
answer. And in regard to the good counsel he gives (without
having been asked for it), that they practice the prayer of quiet,
as if this were in their power: anyone who does this already
knows the affliction to which it obliges her.
Please God that since he is near the honey3 something good
will stick to him, for his answer gave me great consolation—
although he was very right in being ashamed of it. In this re-
spect, it is impossible to judge which reply is better, for since
without my doing an injustice to any of them by so stating, each
of the replies has its faults.
Recommendations to Don Alvaro
9. Your Excellency should order the contestants to make
amends. I, myself, will make amends by not being like my
brother in his little humility. All these gentlemen are so divine
that they have lost by going beyond what was asked by the ques-
tion. As I have said,4 one would not tell the soul that attains this
favor of union with God to seek Him, for it already possesses Him.
362 St. Teresa of Avila
I kiss Your Excellency's hand many times for the favor you
granted me with your letter. So as not to tire you further with
these silly things, I am not writing now.
Unworthy servant and subject of Your Excellency,
Teresa of Jesus
RESPONSE TO A SPIRITUAL CHALLENGE
INTRODUCTION
This work takes on the form of a tournament and is cast
in the model of those jousts of the Middle Ages in which
knights participated. Of course, here the contest regards the
world of the spirit. While Teresa was prioress at the Incarna-
tion, a spiritual challenge arrived from "the knights and the
daughters of the Virgin," probably from the discalced friars and
nuns of Pastrana. It was addressed to the nuns at the Incarna-
tion.
In her reply, Teresa gave notice that her nuns would enter the
contest only under certain conditions. Though the text of the
challenge is unknown, one can suppose, considering its source,
that it included some eccentric and extreme forms of penance
and austerity, things that were foreign to Teresa's feel for balance
and humility. Thus the responses from the Incarnation lean
toward the unexceptional and emphasize what is more authentic.
Out of the twenty-four extant answers, one of them is most
probably from St. John of the Cross, who was then confessor at
the Incarnation. And at the end, the serious tone of them all is
suddenly broken by an amusing touch of wit in the response of
the prioress, Teresa of Jesus. The time of the writing is not cer-
tain, possibly sometime at the end of 1572 or the beginning of
1573.
Up to the eighteenth century the autograph was conserved in
the monastery of the Carmelite nuns in Burgos except for the
last page, which is still conserved by the Carmelite nuns in Gua-
dalajara. But a copy of the autograph is preserved at the Biblio-
363
364
St. Teresa of Avila
teca Nacional in Madrid in volume 4 (Ms. 6.615) of the Teresian
letters edited by Antonio de San Jose. That copy has provided
the text for editors of Spanish editions. But, skipping from folio
2 to folio 8, the autograph from which it was made did not pro-
vide the complete text. In this translation we have followed
the text of that copy, which is as close as one can come to the
original.
K. K.
RESPONSE TO A SPIRITUAL CHALLENGE
1. After reading the cartel, it seemed that our forces would
be incapable of taking to the field against such valiant and
strong knights, for these latter would certainly win the victory
and leave us totally despoiled of our provisions and even, per-
haps, intimidated so that we'd be unable to do what little we
could. With this in view, no one — Teresa of Jesus least of all
—wanted to sign the challenge. Such is the unfeigned and abso-
lute truth.
2. We resolve to do what lies within our strength, and after
spending some days in the exchange of these courtesies, it could
be that, with the favor and help of those who might want to take
part, we'd be able to sign the cartel within a few days.
3. We will sign under the condition that the defender not
turn his back by entering those caves, but he must take to the
field of this world where we are. It might happen that in seeing
himself always at war where it is necessary not to lay down one's
arms, or grow careless, or have a moment of safe rest, he will not
be so filled with fury. For there is a great difference between the
two and between speaking and acting, for we shall shortly un-
derstand the difference that lies between them.
4. Come out, come out from that pleasant life, we say to him
and his companions. It may happen that they will so quickly
begin stumbling and falling that it will be necessary to help
them get up. For it is a terrible thing to be always in danger and
loaded down with arms and without food. Well, the defender
provided so amply that he quickly sends the sustenance he
promises. Should he win by starving us, he would gain little
honor or benefit.
5. Any knight or daughter of the Virgin who asks the Lord
each day to keep Beatriz Juarez in His grace and makes the ef-
fort never to speak inadvertently and to direct all things to the
365
366
St. Teresa of Avila
Lord's glory will be given the merit she has gained in two years
while caring for Sisters with very painful illnesses.
6. Sister Ana de Vergas says that if the said knights or
brothers ask the Lord to remove the opposition she is undergo-
ing and give her humility she will give them all the merit she will
thereby gain if the Lord should grant it.
7. Mother Subprioress asks that those mentioned beg the
Lord to take away her self-will and says that she will give them
what she may have merited in two years. Her name is Isabel de
la Cruz.
8. Sister Sebastiana Gomez says that to any of those men-
tioned who will look at the crucifix three times a day in memory
of the three hours the Lord hung on the cross and thereby ob-
tain for her the grace to conquer a strong passion which tor-
ments her, she will apply the merit she gains (if the Lord grant
it) in the conquering of that passion.
9. Mother Maria de Tamayo will give a third part of what
she suffers to any of those mentioned who recites every day an
Our Father and a Hail Mary that the Lord might give her pa-
tience and conformity to His will in the endurance of her illness;
this she will give each day. And her illness is very serious; for
more than a year she has been unable to speak. 1
10. Sister Ana de la Miseria says that to any of the knights or
daughters of the Virgin who should ask Jesus Christ, while con-
sidering the poverty in which He was born and died, that spiri-
tually she might give what she promised to His Majesty she will
give all the merit she might have before the Lord despite the
faults she commits in His service.
1 1 . Sister Isabel de Santangelo will give a share in what she
has gained from the trials of soul she has undergone to any of
the knights and daughters of the Virgin who accompanies the
Lord during the three hours He remained alive on the cross and
obtains from His Majesty the grace for her to keep her three
vows with perfection.
12. Sister Beatriz Remon says that she will give a year of her
merits to any brother or daughter of the Virgin who asks our
Lady each day to grant her humility and obedience.
Response to a Spiritual Challenge 367
1 3 . Sister Maria de la Cueva gives three years of her merits to
any knight or daughter of the Virgin who prays to our Lady for
her each day in faith and light and grace. (I know that Sister's
merits are many, for she suffers great interior trials.)
14. Sister Maria de San Jose says that she will give one year of
her merits to anyone of those mentioned who asks of the Lord
humility and obedience for her.
15. Sister Catalina Alvarez says that she gives to anyone who
asks the Lord to grant her self-knowledge one year of her suffer-
ings, which is a great deal.
16. For any knight or Sister who prays to our Lady to obtain
the grace from her Son so that Sister Leonor de Contreras might
serve Him and persevere, this latter Sister will recite three Salves
each day as long as she lives, and thus they must pray for her
each day.
17. Sister Ana Sanchez says that for any knight or daughter
of the Virgin who daily asks the Lord to give her His love she will
recite daily three Hail Marys in honor of the purity of our Lady.
18. Sister Maria Gutierrez says that she will give a part of all
her merits with the Lord to any of those mentioned who pray
that she be granted perseverance and perfect love of God.
19. Sister Maria Cimbron says that those mentioned who
pray each day for a happy death for her will have a part in all
she merits through her suffering; it has been a long time since
she has been able to stir from her bed, and she is close to the
end.2
20. Sister Ines Diaz says that for anyone of those mentioned
who prays that she might share in the Blessed Virgin's feelings at
the foot of the cross she will recite, each day that they do so, five
Our Fathers and Hail Marys.
21. Sister Juana de Jesus says that to any of the knights and
Sisters mentioned who ask the Lord each day to give her contri-
tion for her sins she will give a share in what she merits from her
many trials, which are certainly many, and the affronts she has
suffered because of them.
22 . Sister Ana de Torres says that to those mentioned she will
368
St. Teresa of Avila
give what she merits this year if they pray each day that through
the torment the Lord suffered when He was nailed to the cross
she might be given the grace to succeed in serving Him and to
obey.
23. Sister Catalina de Velasco says that to anyone of those
mentioned who asks the Lord, through the pain He suffered
when He was nailed to the cross, to give her the grace not to of-
fend Him and that our order continue to grow she will give those
times that she spends with our Lady each day; they are indeed
many.
24. Sister Jeronima de la Cruz says that to anyone of those
mentioned who prays that she be given humility, patience, and
light to serve the Lord she will recite three Creeds each day and
offer a year of the trials she has suffered. This petition must be
made for her each day.
25. A knight-errant3 says that if the Grand Master of the
field obtains for him the grace he needs to serve the Lord per-
fectly in all that which obedience asks of him, he will give in re-
turn all the merit he gains this year in serving the Lord through
obedience.
26. Sister Estefama Samaniego says that for any knight or
daughter of the Virgin who prays to our Lord that she might
serve Him and not offend Him and be given living faith and
meekness she will recite each day the prayer in honor of the
name of Jesus and offer the merits gained from a year of illnesses
and temptations that she has suffered.
27. Sister Antonia del Aguila says that to any knight or
daughter of the Virgin who recalls our Lady's sorrows for a time
each day and prays that she might be helped in a matter of great
need for her soul and that our Mother prioress, Teresa of Jesus,
live long for the increase of our order, she will give a third part
of her trials and illnesses for the rest of her life.
28. Teresa of Jesus says that to any knight of the Virgin who
makes each day a very resolute act of willingness to suffer all his
life from a superior who is very wicked, vicious, gluttonous, and
badly disposed to him she will give, each day that he does so,
half of what she merits that day both in her Communion and
Response to a Spiritual Challenge 369
the many sufferings she bears; in sum, her merits in everything,
which will be very little. He must consider the humility with
which the Lord stood before the judges and how this Lord was
obedient even to the death of the cross. This contract is valid for
a month and a half.
POETRY
INTRODUCTION
Whoever reads the spiritual treatises of St. John of the Cross
must read his poetry as well since his prose works are closely
linked to his poetry. St. Teresa, on the other hand, kept her
spiritual treatises separate from her poetry, and as a result the
latter has suffered a kind of neglect.
As for her impulse to write poetry, Teresa has left an impor-
tant statement in her Life: "Oh, help me God! What is the soul
like when it is in this state! It would want to be all tongues so as
to praise the Lord .... I know a person who though not a poet
suddenly composed some deeply-felt verses well expressing her
pain. They were not composed by the use of her intellect; rather,
in order that she enjoy the glory so delightful a distress gave to
her, she complained of it in this way to God" (ch. 16, no. 4). The
impulses of love, pain over the absence of the beloved, joy in his
presence, longings for death, and even a certain hatred of life,
these are the common themes of lovers, and especially of mys-
tics, the great lovers of God. In her ardent moments of love, Te-
resa was not interested in writing poems for their own sake; she
wrote them as a release for the mystical fire she could no longer
contain in her heart.
But this was not the only circumstance under which she felt
urged to express herself in verse. Besides her lyric-mystical poe-
try, she composed many didactic and devotional poems. In a
word, she also made use of poetry as an instrument of spiritual
formation for her daughters. Keenly sensitive to the thousand
happenings around her, she enjoyed speaking in verse of her per-
ceptions. She understood the captivating and suggestive power of
poetry with its rhythms and sounds and used it to impress on the
hearts of her daughters profound teachings about the religious
and spiritual life. At the same time she was delighting them with
371
372
St. Teresa of Avila
rhymes and cadences. Teresa, then, also thought of poetry as
something to be enjoyed. She once thanked her brother Lorenzo
for the verses he had sent her and for the "recreation" she found
in reading his couplets. She was especially happy when the nuns
put her verses to music and devoutly sang them.
In the minds of her acquaintances Teresa was a good poet.
Padre Julian de Avila, who accompanied her on so many of her
journeys through Spain, wrote of how she frequently entertained
the other travelers by composing poems and that these poems
were very good ones. In seeking a critical judgment of the merits
of her poetry, one finds at present a difference of opinion. Two
critics who have recently approached the question have come to
different conclusions. Angel Custodio Vega thinks that in her
mystical poetry Teresa has reached sublime heights; whereas
Victor de la Concha thinks that as a poet Teresa is at most medi-
ocre.1 Whatever one may think of the merits of Teresa's poetry,
it is definitely written in a popular vein, notably simple and
spontaneous.
When asked about the number of poems written by Madre
Teresa, one can only speculate. Certainly, not all have been pre-
served, nor do we even know if we have a record of each of those
that has been preserved. The poems we do have in our possession
come to a number proportionately small when compared to what
the number would be were we to have them all. According to
Maria de San Jose, Teresa composed many romances about the
variety of events that took place on her journeys to make founda-
tions. And Ana de la Encarnacion testifies that Madre Teresa
was devoted to the saints and composed verses to sing on their
feastdays. Ana de Jesus declares that during the Christmas sea-
son Teresa would compose words for carols to be sung by the
nuns. Probably, in addition, a number of Teresa's poems were
not written down at all but were composed on the spot and re-
cited orally so as to contribute to the celebration of some special
occasion.
The pieces of paper on which her poems were written were
easy to pass around and easy to lose. Thus we do not have the
autographs of Teresa's poetry. Recently, however, the Teresian
scholar Tomas Alvarez did find in some Italian monasteries the
Poetry — Introduction
373
first autograph fragments of Teresa's poems.2 This discovery
leaves scholars with the hopes that more may be found.
As for copies, the most important are those made by Padre
Andres de la Encarnacion and preserved in manuscript 1400 in
the Biblioteca Nacional de Madrid. Padre Andres was given the
task in 1754 of seeking out all of Teresa's writings in the archives
and libraries of Spain. Modern editors base their editions of the
poetry on the copy made by Padre Andres. But both the lack of
autographs and the mixture of Teresa's poetry with that of other
Carmelites give rise to the problem of authenticity, particularly
the authenticity of some of the poems. Further critical study
needs to be done. We selected for this translation those poems
that Tomas Alvarez included in his Spanish edition3 and are
grateful to Father Adrian J. Cooney for contributing to this vol-
ume by his English rendering of them. Rather than sacrifice the
meaning of each verse for the sake of a metre and rhyme scheme
as found in the original poems, the translator sought to provide
a rendering that is both accurate and lyrical.
K.K.
POETRY
Translated by
Adrian J. Cooney, O.C.D.
Vivo Sin Vivir En Mi
Vivo sin vivir en mi,
Y de tal manera espero,
Que muero porque no muero.
Vivo ya fuera de mi,
Despues que muero de amor,
Porque vivo en el Senor,
Que me quiso para si.
Cuando el corazon le di
Puso en el este letrero:
Que muero porque no muero.
Esta divina prision,
Del amor con que yo vivo,
Ha hecho a Dios me cautivo.
Y libre mi corazon
Y causa en mi tal pasion,
Ver a Dios mi prisionero,
Que muero porque no muero.
I Ay, que larga es esta vida!
iQue duros estos destierros!
Esta carcel y estos hierros
En que el alma esta metidal
Solo esperar la salida
Me causa un dolor tan fiero,
Que muero porque no muero.
Aspirations toward Eternal Life
/ live without living in myself,
And in such a way I hope,
I die because I do not die.
Since I die of love,
Living apart from love,
I live now in the Lord,
Who has desired me for Himself.
He inscribed on my heart
When I gave it to Him:
/ die because I do not die.
Within this divine prison,
Of love in which I live,
My God my captive is.
My heart is free
To behold my prisoner-God,
Passion welling in my heart,
/ die because I do not die.
Ah, how weary this lifel
These exiles so hard!
This jail and these shackles
By which the soul is fettered!
Longing only to go forth
Brings such terrible sorrow,
/ die because I do not die.
375
376
St. Teresa of Avila
|Ay, que vida tan amarga
Do no se goza el Senor!
Porque si es dulce el amor,
No lo es la esperanza larga.
Quiteme Dios esta carga,
Mas pesada que el acero,
Que muero porque no muero.
Solo con la confianza
Vivo de que he de morir,
Porque muriendo el vivir
Me asegura mi esperanza.
Muerte do el vivir se alcanza,
No te tardes, que te espero,
Que muero porque no muero.
Mira que el amor es fuerte.
Vida, no me seas molesta.
Mira que solo me resta
Para ganarte perderte.
Venga ya la dulce muerte,
El morir venga ligero.
Que muero porque no muero.
Aquella vida de arriba,
Que es la vida verdadera,
Hasta que esta vida muera,
No se goza estando viva.
Muerte, no me seas esquiva;
Viva muriendo primero,
Que muero porque no muero.
Vida, <>que puedo yo darte
A mi Dios, que vive en mi,
Si no es el perderte a ti,
Para merecer ganarte?
Quiero muriendo alcanzarte,
Pues tan to a mi amado quiero:
Que muero porque no muero.
Ah, how bitter a life
When the Lord is not enjoyedl
While love is sweet,
Long awaiting is not.
0 God, take away this burden
Heavier than steel,
/ die because I do not die.
Only with that surety
1 will die do I live,
Because in dying
My hope in living is assured.
Death, bringing life,
Do not tarry; I await you,
/ die because I do not die.
See how love is strong.
Life, do not trouble me.
See how all that remains
Is in losing you to gain.
Come now, sweet death,
Come, dying, swiftly.
/ die because I do not die.
That life from above,
That is true life,
Until this life dies,
Life is not enjoyed.
Death, be not aloof;
In dying first, may life be,
/ die because I do not die.
Life, what can I give
To my God living in me,
If not to lose you,
Thus to merit Him?
In dying I want to reach
Him alone whom I seek:
/ die because I do not die.
Poetry
377
En Las Manos De Dios
Vuestra soy, para Vos naci,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Soberana Majestad,
Eterna sabiduria,
Bondad buena al alma mia;
La gran vileza mirad
Dios, alteza, un ser, bondad.
Que hoy os canta amor asi:
iQue manddis hacer de mil
Vuestra soy, pues me criastes,
Vuestra, pues me redimistes,
Vuestra, pues que me sufristes,
Vuestra, pues que me llamastes,
Vuestra, pues que me esperastes,
Vuestra, pues no me perdi.
I Que manddis hacer de mi?
iQue mandais, pues, buen
Senor,
Que haga tan vil criado?
<;Cual oficio le habeis dado
A este esclavo pecador?
Veisme aqui, mi dulce Amor,
Amor dulce, veisme aqui,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Veis aqui mi corazon,
Yo le pongo en vuestra palma,
Mi cuerpo, mi vida y alma,
Mis entranas y aflcion,
Dulce Esposo y redencion,
Pues por vuestra me ofreci,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Dadme muerte, dadme vida,
Dad salud o enfermedad,
Honra o deshonra me dad,
In the Hands of God
/ am Yours and born for you,
What do You want of me?
Majestic Sovereign,
Unending wisdom,
Kindness pleasing to my soul;
God sublime, one Being Good,
Behold this one so vile.
Singing of her love to you:
What do You want of me?
Yours, you made me,
Yours, you saved me,
Yours, you endured me,
Yours, you called me,
Yours, you awaited me,
Yours, I did not stray.
What do You want of me?
Good Lord, what do you want
of me,
What is this wretch to do?
What work is this,
This sinful slave, to do?
Look at me, Sweet Love,
Sweet Love, look at me,
What do You want of me?
In Your hand
I place my heart,
Body, life and soul,
Deep feelings and affections mine,
Spouse — Redeemer sweet,
Myself offered now to you,
What do You want of me?
Give me death, give me life,
Health or sickness,
Honor or shame,
378
St. Teresa of Avila
Dadme guerra o paz crecida,
Flaqueza o fuerza cumplida,
Que a todo digo que si,
iQue manddis hacer de mi}
Dadme riqueza o pobreza,
Dad consuelo o desconsuelo,
Dadme alegria o tristeza,
Dadme infierno o dadme cielo,
Vida dulce, sol sin velo,
Pues del todo me rendi.
iQue manddis hacer de mi}
Si quereis, dadme oracion,
Si no, dadme sequedad,
Si abundancia y devotion,
Y si no esterilidad,
Soberana Majestad,
Solo hallo paz aqui,
iQue manddis hacer de mi}
Dadme, pues, sabiduria,
O por amor, ignorancia,
Dadme anos de abundancia,
O de hambre y carestia
Dad tiniebla o claro dia,
Revolvedme aqui o alii.
iQue manddis hacer de mi}
Si quereis que este holgando,
Quiero por amor holgar;
Si me mandais trabajar,
Morir quiero trabajando.
Decid, <jdonde, como y cuando?
Decid, dulce Amor, decid.
iQue manddis hacer de mi}
Dadme Calvario o Tabor,
Desierto o tierra abundosa,
Sea Job en el dolor,
O Juan que al pecho reposa;
War or swelling peace,
Weakness or full strength,
Yes, to these I say,
What do You want of me}
Give me wealth or want,
Delight or distress,
Happiness or gloominess,
Heaven or hell,
Sweet life, sun unveiled,
To you I give all.
What do You want of me}
Give me, if You will, prayer;
Or let me know dryness,
An abundance of devotion,
Or if not, then barrenness.
In you alone, Sovereign Majesty,
I find my peace,
What do You want of me}
Give me then wisdom.
Or for love, ignorance,
Years of abundance,
Or hunger and famine.
Darkness or sunlight,
Move me here or there:
What do You want of me}
If You want me to rest,
I desire it for love;
If to labor,
I will die working:
Sweet Love say
Where, how and when.
What do You want of me}
Calvary or Tabor give me,
Desert or fruitful land;
As Job in suffering
Or John at Your breast;
Poetry
379
Sea vina fructuosa
O esteril, si cumple asi.
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Sea Jose puesto en cadenas,
O de Egipto Adelantado
O David sufriendo penas,
O ya David encumbrado,
Sea Jonas anegado,
O libertado de alii,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Este callando o hablando,
Haga fruto o no le haga,
Muestrame la ley mi llaga,
Goce de Evangelio blando;
Este penando o gozando,
Solo Vos en mi vivid,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Vuestra soy, para Vos naci,
iQue manddis hacer de mi?
Barren or fruited vine,
Whatever be Your will:
What do You want of me?
Be I Joseph chained
Or as Egypt's governor,
David pained
Or exalted high,
Jonas drowned,
Or Jonas freed:
What do You want of me?
Silent or speaking,
Fruitbearing or barren,
My wounds shown by the Law,
Rejoicing in the tender Gospel;
Sorrowing or exulting,
You alone live in me:
What do You want of me?
Yours I am, for You I was born:
What do You want of me?
Sobre Aquellas Palabras
"Dilectus Meus Mihi"
Yo toda me entregue y di,
Y de tal suerte he trocado,
Que mi A mado para mi,
Y yo soy para mi A mado.
Cuando el dulce Cazador
Me tiro y dejo rendida,
En los brazos del amor,
Mi alma quedo caida;
Y cobrando nueva vida,
De tal manera he trocado
Que mi Amado para mi,
Y yo soy para me Amado.
On Those Words
"Dilectus Meus Mihi"
Myself surrendered and given,
The exchange is this:
My Beloved is for me,
And I am for my Beloved.
When the Gentle hunter
Wounded and subdued me,
In love's arms,
My soul fallen;
New life receiving,
Thus did I exchange
My Beloved is for me,
And I am for my Beloved.
380
St. Teresa of Avila
Tirome con una flecha
Enerbolada de amor,
Y mi alma quedo hecha
Una con su Criador.
Ya yo no quiero otro amor,
Pues a mi Dios me he entregado,
Y mi Amado para mi,
Y yo soy para mi Amado.
The arrow he drew
Full of love,
My soul was oned
With her Creator.
Other love I want not,
Surrendered now to my God,
That my Beloved is for me,
And I am for my Beloved.
Coloquio Amoroso
Si el amor que me teneis,
Dios mio, es como el que os
tengo,
Decidme <;en que me detengo?
O Vos ^en que os deteneis?
—Alma (ique quieres de
mi?
—Dios mio, no mas que
verte.
— Y ^que temes mas de
ti?
— Lo que mas temo es
perderte.
Un alma en Dios escondida
(i Que tiene que desear,
Sino amar y mas amar,
Y en amor toda escondida
Tornarte de nuevo a amar?
Un amor que ocupe os pido,
Dios mio, mi alma os tenga,
Para hacer un dulce nido
Adonde mas la convenga.
Loving Colloquy
If the love You have for me,
Is like the love I have for
You,
My God, what detains me?
Oh, what is delaying You?
—Soul, what is it you desire
of me?
— My God, nothing other than to
see You.
—What is it that you fear more
than self?
— What I fear most is the loss
of You.
A soul hidden in God,
What has it to desire
Save to love more and more,
And, in love all hidden
Again and again to love You?
One all possessing love I ask
My God, my soul centered in You,
Making a delightful nest,
A resting place most pleasing.
Poetry
381
Feliz El Que Ama a Dios
Dichoso el corazon enamorado
Que en solo Dios ha puesto el
pensamiento
Por el renuncia todo lo criado,
Y en el halla su gloria y su
contento.
Aun de si mismo vive
descuidado,
Porque en Dios esta todo su
intento,
Y asi alegre pasa y muy gozoso
Las hondas de este mar
tempestuoso.
Ante La Hermosura De Dios*
lOh, Hermosura que excedeis
A todas las hermosuras!
Sin herir dolor haceis,
Y sin dolor deshaceis,
El amor de las criaturas.
Oh, nudo que asi juntais
Dos cosas tan desiguales,
No se por que os desatais,
Pues atado fuerza dais
A tener por buen los males.
Juntais quien no tiene ser
Con el Ser que no se acaba;
Sin acabar acabais,
5.
Happy the Enamored Heart
Happy the enamored heart,
Thought centered on God
alone,
Renouncing every creature for
Him,
Finding in Him glory and
contentment.
Living forgetful of
self,
In God is all its intention,
Happy and so joyfully it journeys
Through waves of this stormy
sea.
6.
Oh Exceeding Beauty
Oh Beauty exceeding
All other beauties!
Paining, but You wound not
Free of pain You destroy
The love of creatures.
Oh, knot that binds
Two so different,
Why do You become unbound
For when held fast You strengthen
Making injuries seem good.
Bind the one without being
With being unending;
Finish, without finishing,
*For the origin of this poem, see the postscript in her letter to Don Lorenzo, Jan. 2,
1577; and also her letter to him on Jan. 17, 1577.
St. Teresa of Avila
382
Sin tener que amar amais,
Engrandeceis nuestra nada.
Ayes Del Destierro
jCuan triste es, Dios mio,
La vida sin til
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Carrera muy larga
Es la de este suelo,
Morada penosa,
Muy duro destierro.
|Oh Dueno adoradol
Sacame de aqui.
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Lugubre es la vida,
Amarga en extremo;
Que no vive el alma
Que esta de ti lejos.
jOh dulce bien mio,
Que soy infelizl
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
jOh muerte benigna,
Socorre mis penas!
Tus golpes son dulces,
Que el alma libertan.
iQue dicha, oh mi amado,
Estar junto a Ti!
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Love, without having to love,
Magnify our nothingness.
7.
Sighs in Exile
My God, how sad is
Life without You!
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
This earth's journey
How long it is;
A painful dwelling,
An exile drear.
Oh, Master adored,
Take me away!
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Dismal is life,
Bitter as can be:
The soul lifeless,
Apart from You.
O my sweet Goodness,
How sad am I!
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
O kind death
Free me from trials!
Gentle are your blows,
Freeing the soul.
Oh, my Beloved, what joy
To be oned to You!
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Poetry
El amor mundano
Apega a esta vida;
El amor divino
Por la otra suspira.
Sin ti, Dios eterno,
<jQuien puede vivir?
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
La vida terrena
Es continuo duelo:
Vida verdadera
La hay solo en el cielo.
Permite, Dios mio,
Que viva yo alii,
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
<jQuien es el que teme
La muerte del cuerpo,
Si con ella logra
Un placer inmenso?
jOh! si, el de amarte,
Dios rmo, sin fin.
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Mi alma afligida
Gime y desfallece.
I Ay! £Quien de su amado
Puede estar ausente?
Acabe ya, acabe
Aqueste sufrir,
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
El barbo cogido
En doloso anzuelo,
Encuentra en la muerte
El fin del tormento.
To this life
Worldly love adheres;
Love divine
For the other sighs.
Eternal God, without You,
Who can live?
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Unending sorrow
Is this earthly life;
Life that is true
In heaven alone is found.
My God, allow
That there I may dwell.
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Who fears
The body's death
If one then gains
Pleasure so great?
Oh, yes, in loving You,
Forever, my God!
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Afflicted, my soul
Sighs and faints.
Ah, who can stay apart
From her Beloved?
Oh! end now,
This my suffering.
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
The fish caught
On the painful hook,
In death's embrace
Its torment ending.
384
St. Teresa of Avila
jAy! tambien yo sufro,
Bien mio, sin ti:
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
En vano mi alma
Te busca, oh mi dueno;
Tu siempre invisible
No alivias su anhelo
jAy! esto la inflama
Hasta prorrumpir:
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
jAy! cuando te dignas
Entrar en mi pecho,
Dios mio, al instante
El perderte temo.
Tal pena me aflige,
Y me hace decir:
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Haz, Senor, que acabe
Tan larga agoma;
Socorre a tu sierva
Que por ti suspira.
Rompe aquestos hierros
Y sea feliz.
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Mas no, dueno amado,
Que es justo padezca;
Que expie mis yerros,
Mis culpas inmensas.
j Ay! logren mis lagrimas
Te dignes oir
Ansiosa de verte,
Deseo morir.
Ah, how I suffer,
Without You, my Love.
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Master, my soul
In vain seeks You!
Always unseen
You leave me anxiously longing.
Ah! the very longing inflames
Until I cry out:
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
When at last
You enter my heart,
My God, then at once
I fear your leaving.
The pain that touches me
Makes me say,
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Lord, end now
This long agony.
Comfort your servant
Sighing for You.
Shatter the fetters
Let her rejoice.
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Ah, no, Beloved Master,
It is only that I suffer
My sins to atone
My guilt unbounded
Ah! may my tears gain
Your listening to me:
Longing to see You,
Death I desire.
Poetry
385
Buscando A Dios
Alma, buscarte has en Mi,
Y a Mi buscarme has en ti.
De tal suerte pudo amor,
Alma, en mi te retratar,
Que ningun sabio pintor
Supiera con tal primor
Tal imagen estampar.
Fuiste por amor criada
Hermosa, bella, y asi
En mis entranas pintada,
Si te perdieres, mi amada,
Alma, buscarte has en Mi.
Que yo se que te hallaras
En mi pecho retratada
Y tan al vivo sacada
Que si te ves te holgaras
Viendote tan bien pintada.
Y si acaso no supieres
Donde me hallaras a Mi,
No andes de aqui para alii,
Sino, si hallarme quisieres
A Mi buscarme has en ti.
Porque tu eres mi aposento,
Eres mi casa y morada,
Y asi llamo en cualquier tiempo,
Si hallo en tu pensamiento
Estar la puerta cerrada.
Fuera de ti no hay buscarme,
Porque para hallarme a Mi,
Bastara solo llamarme,
Que a ti ire sin tardarme
Y a Mi buscarme has en ti.
8.
Seeking God
Soul, you must seek yourself in Me
And in yourself seek Me.
With such skill, soul,
Love could portray you in Me
That a painter well gifted
Could never show
So finely that image.
For love you were fashioned
Deep within me
Painted so beautiful, so fair;
If, my beloved, I should lose you,
Soul, in yourself seek Me.
Well I know that you will discover
Yourself portrayed in my heart
So lifelike drawn
It will be a delight to behold
Yourself so well painted.
And should by chance you do
not know
Where to find Me,
Do not go here and there;
But if you wish to find Me,
In yourself seek Me.
Soul, since you are My room,
My house and dwelling,
If at any time,
Through your distracted ways
I find the door tightly closed,
Outside yourself seek Me not,
To find Me it will be
Enough only to call Me,
Then quickly will I come,
And in yourself seek Me.
386 St.
Eficacia De La Paciencia
Nada te turbe,
Nada te espante,
Todo se pasa,
Dios no se muda,
La Paciencia
Todo lo alcanza;
Quien a Dios tiene
Nada le falta.
Solo Dios basta.
Teresa of Avila
9.
Efficacy of Patience
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing scare you,
All is fleeting,
God alone is unchanging.
Patience
Everything obtains.
Who possesses God
Nothing wants.
God alone suffices.
10.
On the Way to Heaven
Hacia La Patria
Caminemos para el cielo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Vamos muy mortificadas,
Humildes y despreciadas,
Dejando el consuelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Al voto de la obediencia
Vamos, no haya resistencia,
Que es nuestro bianco y
consuelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
La pobreza es el camino,
El mismo por donde vino
Nuestro Emperador del cielo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
No deja de nos amar
Nuestro Dios y nos llamar
Sigamosle sin recelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Toward heaven let us journey,
Nuns of Carmel.
Mortified, humble, and despised,
Let us walk,
Consolations left aside,
Nuns of Carmel.
Unresisting let us go
To vowed obedience,
Our consoling aim,
Nuns of Carmel.
Poverty is the way,
The very road He came,
Our heavenly Emperor,
Nuns of Carmel.
Untiring in loving,
Our God is calling;
Trusting Him, let us follow,
Nuns of Carmel.
Poetry
387
An amor se esta abrasando
Aquel que nacio temblando
Envuelto en humano velo
Monjas del Carmelo.
Vamonos a enriquecer,
A donde nunca ha de haber
Pobreza ni desconsuelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Al Padre Elias siguiendo
Nos vamos contradiciendo
Con su fortaleza y celo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Nuestro querer renunciando,
Procuremos el doblado
Espiritu de Eliseo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Afire in love's burning,
He, once born trembling,
Veiled in our humanity,
Nuns of Carmel.
Hasten to this enrichment
Where poverty and grief
Will never be,
Nuns of Carmel.
Elijah, our Father, leads,
In our self-denying we follow him
Strongly and zealously,
Nuns of Carmel.
Renouncing our will,
We long to attain
Elisha s double spirit,
Nuns of Carmel.
11.
Al Nacimiento De Jesus
I Ah, pas tores que velais,
Por guardar vuestros rebanos,
Mirad que os nace un Cordero,
Hijo de Dios Soberano!
Viene pobre y despreciado,
Comenzadle ya a guardar,
Que a lobo os le ha de llevar
Sin que le hayamos gozado.
—Gil, dame aca aquel cayado
Que no me saldra de mano,
No nos lleven al Cordero:
— ±No ves que es Dios Soberano}
jSonzas! que estoy aturdido
De gozo y de penas junto.
— <jSi es Dios el que hoy ha
nacido,
To the Birth of Jesus
Ah, shepherds watching,
Guarding your flocks!
Behold, a Lamb born for you,
Son of our Sovereign God.
Poor and despised He comes,
Begin now guarding Him,
Lest the wolf carry Him off.
Before rejoicing in Him,
Bring me your crook, Giles.
Firmly will I grasp it,
Preventing theft of the Lamb:
See you not He is Sovereign God}
Come now, bewildered am I
By joy and sorrow joined.
If today God be born,
388
St. Teresa of Avila
Como puede ser difunto?
jOh, que es hombre tambien
junto!
La vida estara en su mano;
Mirad, que es este el Cordero,
Hijo de Dios Soberano.
No se para que le piden,
Pues le dan despues tal guerra;
— Mia fe, Gil, mejor sera
Que se nos torne a su tierra,
Si el pecado nos destierra,
Y esta el bien todo en su mano.
Ya que ha venido padezca
Este Dios tan Soberano.
Poco te duele su pena;
jOh, como es cierto, del hombre
Cuando nos viene provecho,
El mal ajeno se esconde!
<[No ves que gana renombre
De pastor de gran rebano?
Con todo, es cosa muy fuerte
Que muera Dios Soberano. *
How can He then die?
Oh, since He is man as well,
Life in His hands will be!
In this Lamb behold,
The Son of our Sovereign God.
Why do they ask for Him
And then against Him war.
Giles, in faith it would be better
For Him to return to His land.
If by sin we are banished,
In His hand all good lies
Since to suffer He came,
This God truly sovereign.
His suffering so little troubles you:
Oh, how true of men.
When profit comes,
Evil we ignore!
Do you see He gains renown
As the Shepherd of the great
flock?
Terrible it is nonetheless
That the Sovereign God should
die.
Al Nacimiento De Jesus
Hoy nos viene a redimir
Un Zagal, nuestro pariente,
Gil, que es Dios omnipotente.
Por eso nos ha sacado
De prision a Satanas;
*The autograph of the two last stanzas i;
Carmelite nuns in Florence.
12.
At the Birth of Jesus
Giles, today there comes to
redeem us
A shepherd boy, our kinsman,
God Omnipotent!
He frees us from
Satan's prison;
i conserved in the monastery of the Discalced
Poetry
Mas es pariente de Bras,
Y de Menga, y de Llorente.
\Oh, que es Dios omnipotentel
Pues si es Dios, <icomo es
vendido
Y muere crucificado?
— <jNo ves que mato el pecado,
Padeciendo el inocente?
Gil, que es Dios omnipotente.
Mi fe, yo lo vi nacido
De una muy linda Zagala.
— Pues si es Dios <Jcomo ha
querido
Estar con tan pobre gente?
— {No ves, que es
omnipotente?
Dejate de esas preguntas,
Muramos por le servir,
Y pues El viene a morir
Muramos con El, Llorente,
Pues es Dios omnipotente. *
But He is kin of Bras,
Menga, and Llorente,
Oh, He is God Omnipotent]
If He be God, why sold
And crucified dies?
Giles, in His suffering innocently,
Do you see, He vanquished sin?
He is God Omnipotent.
Oh, I saw Him being born
Of a shepherdess most fair.
If He is God, why did He
desire
Among such poor folk to be?
See you not that He is
Omnipotent?
No more questioning,
Let us serve Him.
Llorente, since He comes to die,
Let us die with Him.
He is God Omnipotent.
13.
Para Navidad For Christmas
Pues el amor
Nos ha dado Dios,
Ya no hay que temer,
Muramos los dos.
Danos el Padre
A su unico Hijo:
Hoy viene al mundo
Since love
Has given us God
No reason is there to fear,
Let us both die.
The Father gives us
His only Son,
Born this day in a stable poor,
*The autograph of the thirteen first verses is conserved in the same Carmel of Florence.
The autograph of the last two stanzas is conserved in the Carmel of Savona, also in Italy
390
St. Teresa of Avila
En un pobre cortijo.
jOh, gran regocijo,
Que ya el hombre es Dios!
No hay que temer,
Muramos los dos.
Mira, Llorente
Que fuerte amorio,
Viene el inocente
A padecer frio;
Deja un senorio
En fin, como Dios,
No hay que temer,
Muramos los dos.
Pues, <J como, Pascual,
Hizo esa franqueza,
Que toma un sayal
Dejando riqueza?
Mas quiere pobreza,
Sigamosle nos;
Pues ya viene hombre,
Muramos los dos.
Pues, ^ que le daran
Por esta grandeza?
Grandes azotes
Con mucha crudeza.
Oh, que gran tristeza
Sera para nos:
Si esto es verdad,
Muramos los dos.
Pues <ic6mo se atreven
Siendo Omnipotente?
Ha de ser muerto
De una mala gente.
Pues si eso es, Llorente;
Hurtemosle nos,
No ves que El lo quiere,
Muramos los dos.
To the world He comes.
Oh, great rejoicing,
Now man is God!
No reason is there to fear,
Let us both die.
Llorente, look,
With what great love,
The Innocent comes
To suffer in the cold.
He leaves His lordship,
For He is God:
No reason is there to fear,
Let us both die.
Pascual, why did He
So graciously take
Garments so coarse
Forsaking such richness?
Let us follow Him,
In seeking poverty;
He became man for this.
Let us both die.
For a deed so great
What can we give Him?
Lashes severe
Given so cruelly.
Sorrow so deep
Will be for us!
Should this be true,
Let us both die.
Oh, how bold they are
Daring the All Powerful!
He will know death
By an evil people.
Llorente, if this be true,
We must steal Him.
Can you not see He wishes this?
Let us both die.
Poetry
391
Al Nacimiento Del Nino Dios
Mi gallejo, mira quien llama.
Angeles son, que ya viene
el alba.
Hame dad un gran zumbido
Que parece cantillana,
Mira Bras, que ya es de dia,
Vamos a ver la zagala.
Mi gallejo, mira quien llama.
Angeles son, que ya viene
el alba.
<[Es parienta del alcalde,
U quien es est a doncella?
Ella es hija de Dios Padre,
Relumbra, como una estrella.
Mi gallejo, mira quien llama.
Angeles son, que ya viene
el alba.
A La Circuncision
Vertiendo esta sangre,
\Dominguillo, eh\
Yo no se por que.
<[Por que, te pregunto,
Hacen del justicia,
Pues es inocente
Y no tiene malicia?
Tuvo gran codicia,
Yo no se por que,
De mucho amarme,
\Dominguillo, eh\
<i Pues luego en naciendo,
Le han de atormentar?
14.
At the Birth of the Infant God
My Gallejo, look who is coming.
Angels they are, the dawn
is nigh.
My ears are ringing
With what seems an old song
Look, Bras, daylight is here.
Let us go to the shepherdess.
My Gallejo, look who is coming.
Angels they are, the dawn
is nigh.
Is she a relative of the Mayor,
Or who is this maiden?
God the Father's daughter,
Glowing starlike.
My Gallejo, look who is coming.
Angels they are, the dawn
is nigh.
15.
The Circumcision
He is shedding blood,
Dominguillo, eh\
Why I know not\
I ask you why,
Him they condemn,
Innocent He is,
And without evil?
How ardent His desire,
I know not why,
To love me so ardently:
Oh, Dominguillo]
Then after He was born,
Why did they torment Him?
392
St. Teresa of Avila
— Si, que esta muriendo
Por quitar el mal;
j Oh, que gran Zagal
Sera, por mi fe!
\Dominguillo, ehl
<iTu no lo has mirado,
Que es nino inocente?
— Ya me lo han contado
Brasillo y Llorente;
Gran inconveniente
Sera no amalle,
\Dominguillo, ehl
Otra A La Circuncision
Este Nino viene llorando;
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
Vino del cielo a la tierra
Para quitar nuestra guerra;
Ya comienza la pelea,
Su sangre esta derramando,
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
Fue tan grande, el amorio,
Que no es mucho estar llorando,
Que comienza a tener brio,
Habiendo de estar mandando.
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
Caro nos ha de costar,
Pues comienza tan temprano,
A su sangre derramar,
Habremos de estar llorando
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
—Yes, for He is dying
To cast out evil.
Oh, what a great Shepherd
He will surely be!
Oh, Dominguillol
Certainly you have seen
He is but a sinless child?
—They have told me,
Brasillo and Llorente;
Great will be the loss
Not to love Him
Oh, Dominguillol
16.
Another on the Circumcision
This little Child comes crying,
Look, Giles, He calls you.
To earth from heaven He came
Our warring to end.
Already the battle rages,
His blood is flowing:
Look, Giles, He calls you.
So strong is his loving,
, His crying is without surprise.
Courage grows within Him,
For He is to lead.
Look, Giles, He calls you.
How great the price will be
Since He begins so young
Bleeding for us.
Oh, weeping we should be.
Look, Giles, He calls you.
Poetry
393
No viniera El a morir
Pues podia estarse en su nido,
<iNo ves, Gil, que si ha venido
Es como leon bramando?
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
Dime Pascual, ([que me quieres,
Que tantos gritos me das?
Que le ames, pues to quiere,
Y por ti esta tiritando;
Mirale, Gil, que te estd
llamando.
Has He not come to die,
For in His dwelling He could stay.
Giles, do you see He has come
As a roaring lion?
Look, Giles, He calls you.
Pascual, why do you shout?
What do you want?
Love Him for He loves you
And shivers here for you.
Look, Giles, He calls you.
En La Festividad De Los
Santos Reyes
Pues la estrella
Es ya llegada,
Vaya con los Reyes
La mi manada.
Vamos todos juntos
A ver el Mesias,
Pues vemos cumplidas
Ya las profecias;
Pues en nuestros dias,
Es ya llegada,
Vaya con los Reyes
La mi manada. *
Llevemosle dones
De grande valor,
Pues vienen los Reyes
Con tan gran hervor.
Alegrese hoy
17.
On the Feast of the
Holy Kings
Now that the star
Has come,
Accompany the Kings,
Go, my flock.
Together let us go
The Messiah to behold.
We see fulfilled now
The prophet's words:
In these our days,
At last He has come.
Accompany the Kings,
Go, my flock.
Our gifts so dear
Let us bring Him.
With fervor so full,
The Kings are coming.
Today may she rejoice,
*The autograph of the first twelve verses is conserved in the Carmel of Savona, Italy.
394
St. Teresa of Avila
Nuestra gran Zagala,
Vaya con los Reyes
La mi manada.
No cures, Llorente,
De buscar razon,
Para ver que es Dios
Aqueste garzon;
Dale el corazon,
Y yo este empenada,
Vaya con los Reyes
La mi manada.
A La Cruz
Cruz, descanso sabroso de mi
vida
Vos sedis la bienvenida.
Oh, bandera, en cuyo amparo
El mas flaco sera
fuerte;
Oh, vida de nuestra muerte,
Que* bien la has resucitado
Al leon has amansado.
Pues por ti perdio la vida,
Vos sedis la bienvenida.
Quien no os ama esta cautivo
Y ajeno de libertad;
Quien a vos quiere allegar
No tendra en nada desvio.
Oh dichoso poderio,
Donde el mal no halla cabida,
Vos sedis la bienvenida.
Vos fuisteis la libertad
De nuestro gran cautiverio;
Por vos se reparo mi mal
Our shepherdess so grand.
Accompany the Kings,
Go, my flock.
Llorente, trouble not
In seeking a reason,
For He is God,
This young Boy.
While I in debt fall,
Give Him your heart.
Accompany the Kings,
Go, my flock.
18.
To the Cross
O Cross, my life's delightful
rest,
My welcome be.
Beneath your protecting banner
Even the weakest are made
strongl
O life of our death,
Reviving it so well.
Having tamed the lion,
By you he was slain:
My welcome be.
Captive is he that loves you not,
No freedom does he know;
Those who approach you
From bad paths are saved.
Oh, in this Kingdom blessed
Evil finds no rest:
My welcome be.
You are the freedom
From our dread captivity;
With so precious remedy,
Poetry
395
Con tan costoso remedio
Para con Dios fuiste medio
De alegria conseguida,
Vos seats la bienvenida.
From evilness You restored me.
In God the means
Of this joy obtained:
My welcome be.
El Camino De La Cruz
En la cruz estd la vida
Y el consuelo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
En la cruz esta el Senor
De cielo y tierra,
Y el gozar de mucha paz,
Aunque haya guerra.
Todos los males destierra
En este suelo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
De la cruz dice la Esposa
A su Querido
Que es una palma preciosa
Donde ha subido
Y su fruto le ha sabido
A Dios del cielo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
Es una oliva preciosa
La santa cruz,
Que con su aceite nos unta
Y nos da luz.
Alma mi a, toma la cruz
Con gran consuelo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
19.
The Way of the Cross
Within the cross is life
And consolation.
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
The Lord of heaven and earth
Is on the cross.
On it, too, delight in peace.
Though war may rage,
It banishes all evil
Dwelling here on earth.
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
From the cross the bride
To her Beloved says
This is a precious palm
Upon which she has climbed,
Its fruit tasting
Like the God of paradise:
alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
This sacred cross,
An olive tree so dear,
With its oil anoints us
Giving us light.
My soul, take up this cross
Rich with consolations great.
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
396
St. Teresa of Avila
Es la cruz el arbol verde
Y deseado
De la Esposa, que a su sombra
Se ha sentado.
Para gozar de su Amado
El Rey del cielo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
El alma que a Dios esta
Toda rendida,
Y muy de veras del mundo
Desasida,
La cruz le es arbol de vida
Y de consuelo,
Y ella sola es el camino
Para el cielo.
Despues que se puso en cruz
El Salvador,
En la cruz esta la gloria
Y el honor,
Y en el padecer dolor
Vida y consuelo,
Y el camino mas seguro
Para el cielo.
This cross is the verdant tree
Desired by the bride.
In its cool shade
Now she is resting,
Delighting in her Beloved,
Heaven's King:
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
The soul to God
Is wholly surrendered,
From all the world
Now truly free,
The cross is at last
Her "Tree of Life" and
consolation:
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.
After our Saviour
Upon the cross placed Himself,
Now in this cross is
Both glory and honor.
In suffering pain
There is life and comfort,
And the safest road
Leading to heaven.
Abrazadas A La Cruz
Caminemos para el cielo
Monjas del Carmelo.
Abracemos bien la Cruz
Y sigamos a Jesus,
Que es nuestro camino y luz
Lleno de todo consuelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
20.
Embracing the Cross
To heaven let us walk,
Nuns of Carmel.
Embracing the cross,
Let us follow Jesus,
He is our way and light
Abounding in consolations,
Nuns of Carmel.
Poetry
397
Si guardais mas que los ojos
La profesion de tres votos,
Libraros de mil enojos,
De tristeza y desconsuelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
El voto de la obediencia,
Aunque es de muy alta ciencia,
Jamas se la hace ofensa
Sino cuando hay resistencia.
De esta os libre Dios del cielo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
El voto de castidad
Con gran cuidado guardad.
A solo Dios desead,
Y en El mismo os encerrad,
Sin mirar cosa del suelo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
El que llaman de pobreza,
Si se guarda con pureza,
Esta lleno de riqueza
Y abre las puertas del cielo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Y si asi lo hacemos
Los contrarios venceremos
Y a la fin descansaremos
Con el que hizo tierra y cielo,
Monjas del Carmelo.
Guard more than your eyes,
Your three vows professed
From a thousand vexations
Of sadness and distress,
Nuns of Carmel.
The vow of obedience,
Is of great wisdom,
Only in resisting it
Does harm come.
Heaven deliver you,
Nuns of Carmel.
Keep with great care
Chastity's vow;
Seek God alone,
Be cloistered in Him,
Look at nothing earthly,
Nuns of Carmel.
What is named poverty
If with purity kept
Is with riches overflowing
Opening Heaven's Gates,
Nuns of Carmel.
Opponents we conquer
In following this way,
At last we will rest in
The Maker of Heaven and Earth,
Nuns of Carmel.
21.
A San Andres To Saint Andrew
iSi el padecer con amor
Puede dar tan gran deleite?
\Que gozo nos dara el vertel
If suffering for love's sake
Can give such wondrous delight?
What joy will gazing on You be?
398
St. Teresa of Avila
(i Que sera cuando veamos
A la eterna Majestad,
Pues de ver Andres la cruz
Se pudo tanto alegrar?
jOh, que no puede f altar
En el padecer deleite!
\Que gozo nos dard el vert el
El amor cuando es crecido
No puede estar sin obrar,
Ni el fuerte sin pelear,
Por amor de su Querido.
Con esto le habra vencido,
Y querra que en todo acierte,
\Que gozo nos dara el vert el
Pues todos temen la muerte
(jComo te es dulce el morir?
jO, que voy para vivir
En mas encumbrada suerte!
jOh mi Dios! que con tu muerte
Al mas flaco hiciste fuerte:
\Que gozo nos dard el vert el
jOh Cruz! madero, precioso
Lleno de gran majestad,
Pues siendo de despreciar
Tomaste a Dios por esposo.
A ti vengo muy gozoso,
Sin merecer el quererte.
Esme muy gran gozo el verte.
What will it be beholding
The Majesty eternal
Since Andrew seeing the cross
Was so filled with rejoicing?
Oh, how can it be wanting,
Delight in sufferings midst!
What joy will gazing on You be}
Love, when it has grown,
Save in laboring cannot live,
Nor the hearty without fighting
Because of love for his Beloved.
By this love is victory won
And the desire to be right in all.
What joy will gazing on You be.
Since all people dread dying,
Why is it sweetness to You?
Oh, I will live
In a loftier way.
By Your death, O my God,
The weakest knows strength.
What joy will gazing on You be}
O cross, wood so precious
Majestic and grand!
Once greatly despised,
Now espoused to God,
With rejoicing I come,
Unworthy to love you.
What joy will gazing on You be}
A San Hilarion
Hoy vencido un guerrero
Al mundo y a sus valedores.
Vuelta, vuelta, pecadores,
Sigamos este sender o.
22.
To Saint Hilarion
Today a warrior has conquered
The world and its defenders.
Return, return, sinners,
Let us follow this path.
Poetry
399
Sigamos la soledad
Y no queramos morir,
Hasta ganar el vivir
En tan subida pobreza.
;Oh, que grande es la destreza
De aqueste nuestro guerrero!
Vuelta, vuelta, pecadores,
Sigamos este sendero.
Con armas de penitencia
Ha vencido a Lucifer,
Combate con la paciencia,
Ya no tiene que temer.
Todos podemos valer
Siguiendo este caballero,
Vuelta, vuelta, pecadores,
Sigamos este sendero.
No ha tenido valedores,
Abrazose con la cruz:
Siempre en ella hallamos luz
Pues la dio a los pecadores.
jOh, que dichosos amores
Tuvo este nuestro guerrero!
Vuelta, vuelta, pecadores,
Sigamos este sendero.
Ya ha ganado la corona,
Y se acabo el padecer,
Gozando ya el merecer,
Con muy encumbrada gloria.
jOh venturosa victoria
De nuestro fuerte guerrero!
Vuelta, vuelta, pecadores,
Sigamos este sendero.
In solitude let us be
And cease longing for death
Until gaining life
Through poverty sublime.
Oh, great is the skilfulness
Our Warrior has!
Return, return, sinners,
Let us follow this path.
With penance as His arms,
Lucifer He vanquished,
In patience He fights,
Nothing frightens Him.
We, too, can conquer
In following this Knight!
Return, return, sinners,
Let us follow this path.
Without any defenders,
The cross He embraced
In this our source of unwavering
light,
Given to us sinners.
Ah, what blessed love
Our Warrior possessed!
Return, return, sinners,
Let us follow this path.
Now the crown he has won,
Suffering has passed,
Rejoicing in His triumph
In glory exalting.
Oh, victory, most fortunate
Won by our W arrior strong!
Return, return, sinners,
Let us follow this path.
400
St. Teresa of Avila
ZO.
A Santa Catalina Martir
To Saint Catalina, Martyr
jv^/n gran amacioid.
\J glCdl 1UVC1
i^/Cl AL LCI llvJ L/lUo
Of OnH pfprnall
Estrella luciente,
oiiiiiiiig star
.rYiiiudi dU-iiUa vual
PlVlt'Pf^t' IK
IIULCLl Hal
Desde tierna edad
In years so tender
Tomaste Esposo
A Spouse you took,
Fue tanto el amor,
So ardent the love,
Que no os dio reposo.
You knew no rest.
Quien es temeroso,
He that is fearful
1MU at llcguc a VUa,
r\ Wdv 11U111 IUU 3I1UU.1U. atdy.
Si estima la vida
11 me ne vaiues
Y el morir por Vos.
auq irom ueatn wouiq run.
Mirad los cobardes
Oh, you cowards, see
Aquesta doncella,
This little maid
Que no estima el oro
Who values not gold
Ni verse tan bella.
Nor her beauty admires.
Ix^pfiHii pn In cnipwn
IVlCLlLLd Cll Id. tiLIC lid
Qnp pmnrarpc f hp tajut
one cniuidLCa 111c Wdi
LJC ptlaCCUClUIl,
Ann nprepnifinn onrlnrpc
/A.11U. UClaCL-LlLlUll CllU.li.lCa
Para padecer
To suffer bravely
Lion gran corazon.
vv ltii neart truiy great.
Mas pena le da
Greater suffering would it be
Vivir sin su Esposo
Without her Spouse to live;
Y asi en los tormentos
In torments' midst
Hallaba reposo:
Rest she found.
' 1 C\(\ Ci lf» pc CT070QO
JL UUU 1C C5 CU/.U3U ,
Tnv r^oTri pq ^ nnnnninor
ivjy eunica d lhj nil u.1 ii ii .
Onprrin ua mnrir
^✓LlCllld y CL 111U111,
Mow qVip loners tn Hip
i >u w aiic iwiitia lu clic,
Pi IPC nnP rnri lq \/irin
■TUCa UUC CU11 la. V1U.O.
T7ot in 1 1 \ti n rr
.rui in iiviiiy
lvn ni ipHp viviy*
1MU LIU.CCIC V1V11 .
vnp rannnt li\/p
one cdiiiivJt live
Las que pretendemos
Those of us seeking
Gozar de su gozo,
Her joy to possess
Nunca nos cansemos,
Never may we weary,
Por hallar reposo,
Seeking our rest.
I Oh engano enganoso,
Oh, mistake deceiving,
Poetry
401
Y que sin amor,
Es querer sanar,
Viviendo el dolor!
Free of all love,
Desiring to be healed
While pain is living.
24.
A La Vesticion De La Hermana
Jeronima De La Encarnacion
^Quien os trajo aca doncella,
Del valle de la tristura?
— Dios y mi buena ventura.
For the Clothing of Sister
Jeronima De La Encarnacion
Who has brought you here young
lady
From the valley of grieving?
— God and my good fortune.
Al Velo De La Hermana
Isabel De Los Angeles
Hermana, porque veleis,
Os han dado hoy este velo,
Y no os va menos que el cielo;
For eso, no os descuideis.
Aqueste velo gracioso
Os dice que esteis en vela,
Guardando la centinela
Hasta que venga el Esposo,
Que, como ladron famoso,
Vendra cuando no penseis;
Por eso, no os descuideis.
No sabe nadie a cual hora,
Si en la vigilia primera
O en la segunda o tercera,
Todo cristiano lo ignora.
Pues velad, velad, hermana,
No os roben lo que teneis;
Por esOy no os descuideis.
25.
For the Veiling of Sister
Isabel De Los Angeles
So that you will be watchful,
Sister,
Today they have veiled you;
On that your Heaven depends;
Do not be careless.
This veil so graceful
Proclaims you keep vigil,
The watchful sentinel
Awaiting her Bridegroom,
Who as the famed thief
Will come with surprise;
Do not be careless.
That hour is unknown,
What watch it will be,
First, second, or third;
All Christians know not,
So watch, watch, sister,
Lest your treasure be stolen.
Do not be careless.
402
St. Teresa of Avila
En vuestra mano encendida
Tened siempre una candela,
Y estad con el velo en vela,
Las renes muy bien cenidas.
No esteis siempre amodorrida,
Catad que peligrareis.
Por eso, no os descuideis.
Tened olio en la aceitera
De obras y merecer,
Para poder proveer
La lampara, que no se muera;
Porque quedareis de fuera
Si entonces no lo teneis;
Por eso, no os descuideis.
Nadie os le dara prestado;
Y si lo vais a comprar,
Podriaseos tardar,
Y el Esposo haber entrado,
Y desque una vez cerrado,
No hay entrar aunque llameis;
Por eso, no os descuideis.
Tened continuo cuidado
De cumplir con alma fuerte,
Hasta el dia de la muerte,
Lo que habeis hoy profesado;
Porque habiendo asi velado
Con el Esposo entrareis.
Por eso, no os descuideis.
A La Profesion De
Isabel De Los Angeles
Hold always in your hand
A candle bright;
Veiled, keep the watch
With loins girded well.
Be free of deep sleep,
Mindful of the danger near.
Do not be careless.
Keep ready your oil jar
Of merit and deeds,
Ample to keep
Your lamp aflame
Lest outside you be kept
When He comes.
Do not be careless.
No one will lend you oil
If you hasten to buy it;
Late you could be,
Once the Bridegroom is within,
The door then is closed;
Your cries will avail you not.
Do not be careless.
Be constant in care,
Fulfilling all bravely,
What you vowed today
Until death comes.
In keeping well your watch,
With the Bridegroom you will
enter.
Do not be careless.
26.
For the Profession of
Isabel De Los Angeles
Sea mi gozo en el llanto,
Sobresalto mi reposo,
In weeping be my joy,
My rest in fright,
Poetry
403
Mi sosiego doloroso,
Y mi bonanza el quebranto.
Entre borrascas mi amor,
Y mi regalo en la herida,
Este en la muerte mi vida,
Y en desprecios mi favor.
Mis tesoros en pobreza,
Y mi triunfo en pelear,
Mi descanso en trabajar,
Y mi contento en tristeza.
En la oscuridad mi luz,
Mi grandeza en puesto bajo.
De mi camino el atajo
Y mi gloria sea la cruz.
Mi honra sea el abatimiento,
Y mi palma padecer,
En las menguas mi crecer,
Y en menoscabo mi aumento.
En el hambre mi hartura,
Mi esperanza en el temor,
Mis regalos en pavor,
Mis gustos en amargura.
En olvido mi memoria,
Mi alteza en humiliation,
En bajeza mi opinion,
En afrenta mi vitoria.
Mi lauro este en el desprecio,
En las penas mi aficion,
Mi dignidad sea el rincon,
Y la soledad mi aprecio.
En Cristo mi confianza
Y de El solo mi asimiento,
En sus consancios mi alien to,
Y en su imitation mi holganza.
In sorrowing my serenity,
My wealth in losing all.
Amid storms be my love,
In the wound my delight.
My life in death,
In rejection my favor.
In poverty be my riches,
My triumph in struggling,
Rest in laboring,
In sadness my contentment.
In darkness be my light,
My greatness in the lowly place,
My way on the short road,
In the cross my glory.
In humiliation be my honor,
My palm in suffering
Increase in my wanting
In losing my gain.
My fullness be in hunger,
In fearing my hope,
My rejoicing in fear,
In grieving my delight.
In forgetting be my memory,
Humiliation my exalting,
In lowliness my repute,
Affronts my victory.
My laurels be in contempt,
In afflictions my fondness,
My dignity a lowly nook,
In solitude my esteem.
In Christ be my trust,
My affection in Him alone,
In His weariness my vigor,
My repose in His imitation.
404
St. Teresa of Avila
Aqiri estriba mi firmeza,
Aqiri mi seguridad,
La prueba de mi verdad,
La muestra de mi fineza.
My strength is founded here,
In Him alone my surety,
My integrity's proof,
In His likeness my purity.
A Una Profesa To a Professed Nun
27.
Oh, blessed this shepherdess
Given today to this Shepherd
Who rules and will rule.
\Oh\ dichosa tal zagala
Que hoy se ha dado a un tal
Zagal
Que reina y ha de reinar.
Venturosa fue su suerte
Pues merecio tal Esposo.
Ya yo, Gil, estoy medroso,
No la osare mas mirar,
Pues ha tornado marido
Que reina y ha de reinar.
Preguntale que le ha dado
Para que lleve a su aldea
El corazon le ha entregado
Muy de buena voluntad.
Mi fe, poco le ha pagado
Que es muy hermoso el Zagal,
Que reina y ha de reinar.
Si mas tuviera mas diera.
<:Por que le avisas, carillo?
Tomemos el cobanillo,
Sirva nos deja sacar,
Pues ha tornado marido,
Que reina y ha de reinar.
Pues vemos lo que dio ella,
<iQue le ha de dar el Zagal?
Con su sangre le ha comprado;
Good fortune was hers
Meriting such a Spouse.
Giles, now I am fearful:
No more will I gaze on her
For a husband she has taken
Who rules and will rule.
Ask her what she gave Him
To carry to His farm.
With such delight
She gave her heart.
Oh, what a trifle she paid,
So handsome is the Shepherd
Who rules and will rule.
Much greater present would she
give.
Dear, why chide her?
We will accept this dowry small
She brings us now,
For a husband she has
Who rules and will rule.
Now knowing what she gave,
What is the shepherd's gift?
He purchased her with His blood.
Poetry
405
jOh que precioso caudal,
Y dichosa tal zagala
Que contento a este Zagall
Mucho le debia amar,
Pues le dio tan gran tesoro,
<j No ves que se lo da todo
Hasta el vestir y calzar?
Mira que es ya su marido
Que reina y ha de reinar.
Bien sera que la tomemos,
Para este nuestro rebano,
Y que la regocijemos
Para ganar su amistad,
Pues ha tornado marido,
Que reina y ha de reinar.
En Una Profesion
\Oh que bien tan sin segundol
\Oh casamiento sagradol
Que el Rey de la Majestad,
Haya sido el desposado.
jOh que venturosa suerte,
Os estaba aparejada,
Que os quiere Dios por amada,
Y haos ganado con su muerte!
En servirle estad muy fuerte,
Pues que lo habeis profesado,
Que el Rey de la Majestad,
Es ya vuestro desposado.
Ricas joyas os dara
Este Esposo, Rey del cielo
Daros ha mucho consuelo,
Oh fortune so precious,
Happy this shepherdess
Who delights this Shepherdl
With what great love He should
give
For his gift was such a treasure.
He gave all, do you not see her
Fully clothed by Him?
See, now He is her Husband
Who rules and will rule.
Good it is that we take her
As a member of our flock.
Let us entertain her,
Her friendship to gain,
For a husband she has taken
Who rules and will rule.
28.
For a Profession
Oh, what good unequalled]
Oh, marriage most sacredl
That the King of Majesty,
Should be Betrothed.
Ah, wondrous happening
Ready now for you!
God wants His bride
Having won you by His death!
In serving Him be strong
For you are vowed to this.
Already the King of Majesty
Is your Betrothed.
Bright jewels will He give
This heavenly Spouse — King;
He comforts you greatly
406
St. Teresa of Avila
Que nadie os lo quitara,
Y sobre todo os dara
Un espiritu humillado.
Es Rey y bien lo podrd,
Pues quiere hoy ser desposado.
Mas os dara este Senor,
Un amor tan santo y puro,
Que podreis, yo os lo asiguro,
Perder al mundo el tern or,
Y al demonio muy mejor
Porque hoy queda maniatado;
Que el Rey de la Majestad,
Ha sido hoy el desposado.
No one can deprive you of this.
Of all that He blesses you,
A humble spirit is the best,
For the King all this is given
easily,
He longs this day to be betrothed.
The Lord will grant you
Love holy and pure.
You will forget
The world's fears,
Ah, much more, the devil, too.
Now the demon is manacled today
The King of Majesty
Is now betrothed.
29.
Para Una Profesion
Todos los que militdis
Debajo desta bandera,
Ya no durmdis, ya no durmdis,
Pues ya no hay paz en la tierra.
Si como capitan fuerte
Quiso nuestro Dios morir,
Comencemosle a seguir
Pues que le dimos la muerte,
Oh que venturosa suerte
Se le siguio desta guerra;
Ya no durmdis, ya no durmdis,
Pues Dios fait a de la tierra.
Con grande contentamiento
Se ofrece a morir en cruz,
Por darnos a todos luz
Con su grande sufrimiento.
For a Profession
A 11 who serve in the army
Beneath this banner,
Sleep no longer, sleep no more,
For now there is no earthly peace.
As the captain strong
Our God wished to die,
Let us follow Him now
For we caused His death.
Oh what a happy lot
He won from this strife!
Sleep no longer, sleep no more,
For God is wanting from the earth.
With contentment great
On the cross He longs to die
His light to give us all
In His sufferings severe.
Poetry
407
jOh, glorioso vencimiento!*
jOh, dichosa aquesta guerra!
Ya no durmdis, ya no durmdis,
Pues Dios falta de la tierra.
No haya ningun cobarde,
Aventuremos la vida,
Pues no hay quien mejor la
guarde
Que el que la da por perdida.
Pues Jesus es nuestra guia,
Y el premio de aquesta guerra;
Ya no durmdis, ya no durmdis,
Por que no hay paz en la tierra.
Ofrezcamonos de veras
A morir por Cristo todas,
Y en las celestiales bodas,
Estaremos placenteras;
Sigamos est as bander as
Pues Cristo va en delantera,
No hay que temer, no durmdis,
Pues que no hay paz en la tierra.
Oh victory so glorious!
Oh fortunate this war!
Sleep no longer, sleep no more,
For God is wanting from the earth.
Not one coward will there be!
Let us risk our lives!
None better guards it
Than he who loses it.
Our guide is Jesus,
The reward of this warring.
Sleep no longer, sleep no more,
For there is no peace on earth.
Let us truly offer ourselves
All to die for Christ,
In the wedding in heaven
Joyful we will be.
Follow these banners
Christ leads us on.
Fear nothing, do not sleep,
For there is no peace on earth.
En Una Profesion
Pues que nuestro Esposo
Nos quiere en prision,
A la gala gala
De la Religion.
Oh qu£ ricas bodas
Ordeno Jesus;
Quierenos a todas,
Y danos la luz;
Sigamos la Cruz,
30.
For a Profession
Since our Spouse
Wants us in prison,
Let us glory,
Glory in religion.
Oh what a splendid wedding
Jesus arranged!
All of us He loves
And gives us His light.
The cross let us follow
*The autograph of the three preceding verses is preserved in the Carmel of Savona, Italy.
408
St. Teresa of Avila
Con gran perfection;
A la gala gala
De la Religion.
Este es el estado
De Dios escogido
Con que del pecado
Nos ha defendido;
Hanos prometido
La consolation,
Si nos alegramos
En esta prision.
A la gala gala
De la Religion.
Darnos ha grandezas
En la eterna gloria
Si por sus riquezas
Dejamos la escoria,
Que hay en este mundo,
Y su perdition,
A la gala gala
De la Religion.
Oh que cautiverio
De gran libertad,
Venturosa vida
Para eternidad;
No quiero librar
Ya mi corazon.
A la gala gala
De la Religion.
With perfection great.
Let us glory,
Glory in religion.
This is our state
God chose for us,
From sinful ways
He has protected us,
He has promised us
Consolations great
If in this prison
We rejoice.
Let us glory,
Glory in religion.
Greatness He will give us
In glory everlasting
If for his riches
We give up the dross
Found in this world
With all its ruin.
Let us glory,
Glory in religion.
Oh what captivity
Of such great liberty!
Life so fortunate
For time unending.
I desire not to free
My heart now.
Let us glory,
Glory in religion.
Poetry
409
Contra Un Ganadillo
Impertinente
Pues nos dais vestido nuevo
Rey celestial,
Librad de la mala gente
Este sayal.
La Santa-.
Hijas, pues tomais la cruz,
Tened valor,
Y a Jesus, que es vuestra luz,
Pedid favor.
El os sera defensor
En trance tal.
To das:
Librad de la mala gente
Este sayal.
La Santa:
Inquieta este mal ganado
En oracion,
El animo mal fundado,
En devocion;
Mas en Dios el corazon
Tened igual.
To das:
Librad de la mala gente
Este sayal.
La Santa:
Pues vinisteis a morir
No desmayeis,
Y de gente tan cevil
No temereis.
Remedio en Dios hallareis
En tanto mal.
31.
Against an Impertinent
Little Flock
Now that you give us clothing
new,
Heavenly King,
From all nasty creatures
Free this cloth of wool.
St. Teresa:
Daughters, since you have taken
the cross,
Take courage.
Ask a favor
Of Jesus, your light.
Your defender He will be
In such peril.
All:
From all nasty creatures
Free this cloth of wool.
St. Teresa:
These nasty creatures
The prayer disturbs
Of the spirit
In devotion weak;
Yet strongly kept
Is that heart in God.
All:
From all nasty creatures
Free this cloth of wool.
St. Teresa:
Since you came here to die,
Do not become confused;
And of such evil creatures
You will have no fear.
In God is found
Your remedy for this evil.
410
St. Teresa of Avila
To das:
Pues nos dais vestido nuevo
Rey celestial,
Librad de la mala gente
Este sayal.
All:
Now that you give us clothing
new,
Heavenly King,
From all nasty creatures
Free this cloth of wool.
NOTES
THE FOUNDATIONS
INTRODUCTION
1. See The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, trans. Kieran
Kavanaugh and Otilio Rodriguez, vol. 1 (Washington: ICS Pub-
lications, 1976).
2. See The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, vol. 2 (Washing-
ton: ICS Publications, 1980).
3. All references incorporated into the text are to the Foundations
and give the chapter number followed by the paragraph number
or numbers; in those cases where more than one chapter is referred
to, the new chapter will be introduced by a semicolon placed after
the preceding paragraph number.
4. See Spir. Testimonies 6, in vol. 1.
5. The letters of St. Teresa have been translated into English by E.
Allison Peers, 2 vols. (Westminster, Maryland: Newman Press,
1950). The letters will be identified by the date and person to
whom written.
6. See Interior Castle, Prol., 2, in vol. 2.
7. See also the final section of this introduction, The A utograph.
8. See also ch. 18, no. 2.
9. Cf. also ch. 17, no. 3; ch. 28, nos. 15-16.
10. See ch. 5, nos. 6, 10-17; ch. 8, nos. 2-4; ch. 27, no.5; ch. 29, no.
20.
11. Cf. also ch. 25, no. 14; ch. 28, nos. 2, 5.
12. Ephesians 6:12.
13. Cf. alsoch. 27, nos. 11-12.
14. Constitutions, no. 27.
15. See Biblioteca Mistica Carmelitana, ed., Silverio de Santa Te-
resa, 20 vols (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo, 1915-35), 18:433.
16. See Analecta Ordinis Carmelitarum, vol. 3 (Rome, 1934 ), p. 166.
4U
412
St. Teresa of Avila
17. See Elias Friedman, The Latin Hermits of Mount Carmel: A Study
in Carmelite Origins (Rome: Teresianum, 1979).
18. 1 Kings 17:2-4. See "The Institution of the First Monks" in An-
cient Carmelite Texts, translated and edited by Roots Committee
(privately printed by Carmelite Communities Associated, 1982),
pp. 41-56.
19. See Rule of Saint Albert, Eds. H. Clarke and B. Edwards (Ayles-
ford: Carmelite Priory, 1973).
20. See Otger Steggink, La Reforma del Carmelo Espanol (Roma: In-
stitutum Carmelitanum, 1965).
21. Life, ch. 7, no. 3. For the early history of the Carmelite Order,
see: Gabriel Barry, Historical Notes on the Carmelite Order (pri-
vately printed by Darlington, England); Joachim Smet, The Car-
melites: A History of the Brothers of Our Lady of Mount Carmel,
vols. 1 and 2 (Darien, Illinois: Carmelite Spiritual Center, 1975-
76).
22. See J. H. Elliott, Imperial Spain (New York: Mentor Books, 1966);
J. Garcia Oro, "Reformas y Observancias" in Perfil Historico De
Santa Teresa (Madrid: Editorial de Espiritualidad, 1981), pp.
33-54; Steggink, La Reforma del Carmelo Espanol.
23. Life, ch. 8, no. 2, in vol. 1.
24. Ibid., ch. 32, no. 10; note 5.
25. Ibid., ch. 35, nos. 1-7.
26. See Juan Bosco, "A la recuperation de un nombre perdido: Te-
resa de Jesus," in Monte Carmelo 90 (1982), pp. 266-304.
27. See Francis and Clare: The Complete Works, trans. Regis J. Arm-
strong and Ignatius C. Brady (New York: Paulist Press, 1982),
pp. 209-25
28. In vol. 2, ch. 2, no. 9.
29. See ch. 10, no. 3; letters to Maria de San Jose, April 3, 1580, and
to Gracian, Feb. 17, 1581.
30. See letter to Gracian, Dec. 12, 1579.
31. See 1 Cor. 11:3-6.
32. See F. Suarez, De religione, tr. 6, tit. 1, col. 2.
33. See Life, ch. 32, no. 13.
34. See letter to Dona Luisa de la Cerda, Nov. 7, 1571.
35. On these points, see Efren J. Montalva, La Herencia Teresiana
(Madrid: Editorial de Espiritualidad, 1975), pp. 15-70; also my
introduction to the Way of Perfection in vol. 2.
36. See Life, ch. 27, nos. 16-20.
37. See Melquiades Andres, La Teologia Espanola en El Siglo XVI,
vol. 2 (Madrid: B.A.C., 1977), pp. 172-73.
Notes— The Foundations
413
38. Francisco de Osuna, The Third Spiritual Alphabet, trans. Mary
E. Giles (New York: Paulist Press, 1981), p. 97.
39. Spir. Testimonies 19, in vol. 1.
40. Life, ch. 35, nos. 1-2; ch. 36, no. 28.
41. See On Making The Visitation, nos. 22, 24, 29.
42. See Monument a Hist orica Carmel Teresiani, ed., Institutum His-
toricum Teresianum (Rome: Teresianum, 1973-), 1:17-19.
43. See ch. 3, no. 1; ch. 27, no. 1; ch. 28, no. 37; ch. 31, no. 45.
44. See ch. 14, no. 12; ch. 23, nos. 1-10; P. H. Gracian, "Historia
Fundationum" in Monumenta, 3:548-53.
45. For a summary of many of these events and further bibliography,
see Ildefonso Moriones, El Carmelo Teresiano (Vitoria: Ediciones
El Carmen, 1978).
46. See Monumenta, 3: 549.
47. Life, ch. 20, no. 27.
48. Ibid, ch. 40, no. 1.
49. See also ch. 22, nos. 5, 10; ch. 26, nos. 7-8.
50. Life, ch. 35, no. 2.
51. Jan. 17, 1570.
52. May 9, 1576.
53. For more details about these economic matters, see Teofanes
Egido, "Ambiente Historico" in Introduccion A La Lectura Ds
Santa Teresa (Madrid: Editorial de Espiritualidad, 1978), pp. 88-
103.
54. See also Spir. Testimonies, 65, no. 4, in vol. 1.
55. See Monumenta, vol. 3, p. 574.
56. See also ch. 3, no. 10.
57. Julian de Avila, Vida de Santa Teresa de fesus, obra inedita, ano-
tada y adicionada por Don Vicente de la Fuente (Madrid: An-
tonio Perez Dubrull, 1881).
58. Letter to Don Antonio Gaytan, July 10, 1575; see Way of Perfec-
tion, ch. 40, no. 9.
59. For a pictorial account of Teresa's travels, see Tomas Alvarez and
Fernando Domingo, Saint Teresa of Avila: A Spiritual Adventure
(Washington, D.C.: ICS Publications, 1981).
60. This is the carefully demonstrated conclusion of Dr. Avelino Senra
Varela, a pathologist and professor at the University of Cadiz, in a
paper given at the Teresian Institute in Avila, March 22, 1982.
See A. Senra Varela, "La Enfermedad de Santa Teresa de Jesus,"
Revista de Espritualidad 41 (1982), pp. 601-612.
61. Letter to Maria de San Jose, June 4, 1578.
414
St. Teresa of Avila
62. Letter to Don Lorenzo, Feb. 10, 1577.
63. April 29, 1579.
64. See Constitutions, nos. 21 and 23; letter to Maria de San Jose,
Feb. 1, 1580.
65. See Dr. Cesar Fernandez- Ruiz, "Medicina y Medicos en la Vida y
Obra de Santa Teresa de Jesus," in Revista de Espiritualidad, 23,
(1964), pp. 186-209.
66. See Life, ch. 33, no. 5.
67. See Monumenta, 3:584-85.
68. See Spir. Testimonies, 58, 59, in vol. 1.
69. Monumenta, 1:67-71.
70. See Joachim Smet, The Carmelites, 2:52-53.
71. See Monumenta, 3:560.
72. See Spir. Testimonies, 16, in vol. 1.
73. See I. Moriones, El Carmelo Teresiano, p. 101.
74. See Monumenta, 3:557 58; 560-61; 578.
75. Letter to Don Roque de Huerta, October, 1578.
76. October 15, 1578.
77. See Monumenta, 3:613-15.
78. Ibid., p. 615.
79. See Monumenta, 3:617.
80. See Juan Luis Astigarraga, "Ultimos Dias y Muerte de Santa Tere-
sa," Teresianum Ephemerides Carmeliticae 33 (1982), pp. 7-69.
81. Sept. 1, 1582.
82. See "Autobiografia A," Obras Completas de la Beata Ana de San
Bartolome, ed. Julian Urkiza, vol. 1 (Roma: Teresianum, 1981),
p. 306.
83. See Astigarraga, "Ultimos Dias y Muerte de Santa Teresa," pp.
42-43.
84. See Interior Castle, III, ch. 1, note 2, in vol. 2, p. 486.
85. See Teofanes Egido, "Libro de las Fundaciones," Introduc-
cion a la Lectura de Santa Teresa, ed. Alberto Barrientos (Mad-
rid: Editorial de Espiritualidad), pp. 241-68.
PROLOGUE
1. Teresa wrote the history of the first foundation, St. Joseph's in
Avila, in her Life, chs. 32-36. Fr. Garcia de Toledo was the con-
fessor for whom Teresa wrote the Life, especially the account of
the foundation of St. Joseph's. See introduction to the Life, vol. I,
pp. 17-19; also Life, ch. 34, no. 6, note 5.
2. Fr. Jeronimo Ripalda (1535-1618) joined the Society of Jesus in
1551. While rector of the Jesuit college in Salamanca in 1573, he
Notes — The Foundations
415
became Teresa's confessor. He was rector also of Villagarcia, Burgos,
and Valladolid. He died in Toledo. See Spir. Test., 58, no. 3, note 8.
3. The other seven monasteries were: Medina del Campo (1567);
Malagon (1568); Valladolid (1568); Toledo (1569); Pastrana
(1569); Salamanca (1570); and Alba de Tormes (1571).
4. The foundation in Duruelo (1568), which transferred to Mancera
in 1570.
5. The monastery in Salamanca.
6. The date, in fact, was August 25.
CHAPTER 1
1. The foundation was made August 24, 1562.
2. In regard to the number of nuns in each monastery, Teresa later
allowed for an increase to twenty. See Way of Perfection, ch. 2,
no. 9, note 5; Life, ch. 32, no. 13; ch. 36, no. 19.
3. This Sister, Maria Bautista (de Ocampo) (1543-1603), later be-
came prioress of Valladolid. She was one of Teresa's most fre-
quent correspondents. See ch. 29, note 5; Life, ch. 32, no. 10,
note 5.
4. This well still exists. The Sister alluded to is again Maria Bautista.
Teresa called the well "the Samaritan woman's well."
5. Alonso Maldonado (c.1510-c.1600) had been a Franciscan mis-
sionary in Mexico (1551-1561). He became a defender of the
rights of the indigenous people and pleaded their cause in Madrid
and Rome before the king and the pope. A man of extreme zeal,
he was at the end of his life tried by the Inquisition.
6. One of the hermitages she arranged to have constructed in the
garden of St. Joseph's in Avila.
CHAPTER 2
1. No general had ever been to Castile. A general, Fr. John Alerio,
had presided at the general chapter held in Barcelona in 1324.
2. See Life, ch. 32, nos. 13-15; ch. 33, no. 16. In the final chapter of
this book of Foundations, she tells how her monastery at Avila re-
turned to the jurisdiction of the Carmelite order.
3. The historian of the monastery of the Incarnation, Maria Pinel,
wrote that the number reached 180 nuns. See Biblioteca Mistica
Carmelitana, 2:140. (Henceforth cited as BMC.)
4. The general, Fr. John Baptist Rossi (1507-1578), whose last name
was Latinized in Spain to Rubeo, was elected general in 1564 and
visited Avila, February 16-18, 1567.
416
St. Teresa of Avila
5. Don Alvaro de Mendoza (d. 1586) was appointed bishop of Avila
in 1560 and under his jurisdiction St. Joseph's was placed when
Teresa's provincial refused to accept it. Always a staunch sup-
porter of Teresa's work, he was buried, at his request, in the
monastery church of St. Joseph in Avila.
6. This is true of Spain. In Italy, the primitive rule was being ob-
served at Monte Oliveto, near Genoa. In regard to the primitive
rule, see Life, ch. 36, no. 26, note 27.
7. For these patent letters of Rubeo to Teresa, one dated April
27, 1567, and the other May 16, 1567, see Monumenta Historica
Carmeli Teresiani, ed. , Institutum Historicum Teresianum (Rome:
Teresianum, 1973 ), 1:67-71. (Henceforth cited as MHCT.)
8. See ch. 1, no. 8.
9. The patent letter granting permission for the foundation in
Castile of two monasteries of the Teresian Carmel for friars was
signed by Rubeo in Barcelona, not Valencia, August 10, 1567.
See MHCT, 1:67-71.
10. The provincial at the time, as of April 12, 1567, was Alonso Gon-
zales, and the former provincial was Angel de Salazar.
CHAPTER 3
1. See, for example, Life, ch. 23, nos. 3, 9; ch. 33, no. 7.
2. Fr. Baltasar Alvarez (1533-1580) was not provincial at that time,
1573, but was substituting for the provincial, Gil Gonzalez
Davila, who was in Rome.
3. Don Pedro Gonzalez, bishop of Salamanca, to which diocese Me-
dina belonged.
4. Julian de Avila (1527-1605) was ordained in 1558 and appointed
chaplain of St. Joseph's in 1563, remaining so until the year be-
fore his death. His sister, Maria de San Jose (Davila) was among
the first four nuns to take the habit at St. Joseph's.
5. This young lady was Isabel Fontecha. She received the habit in
Medina in 1567 and took the name Isabel de Jesus.
6. From St. Joseph's she took Maria Bautista and Ana de los An-
geles. From the Incarnation came: Ines de Jesus, Ana de la Encar-
nacion (Tapia), Teresa de la Columna (Quesada), and Isabel de
la Cruz (Arias).
7. Antonio de Heredia (1510-1601) made the first foundation of Te-
resian Carmelites in 1568 with St. John of the Cross. He changed
his name to Antonio de Jesus, held important offices in the order,
and assisted at the deaths of both Teresa and John of the Cross.
See nos. 16-17.
Notes— The Foundations
417
8. Dona Maria Suarez.
9. The monastery was Our Lady of Grace; the priest friend, Alonso
Esteban.
10. These two out of the four from the Incarnation were Isabel Arias,
the subprioress, and Teresa de Quesada.
11. Domingo Banez (1528-1604) was one of the most distinguished
theologians of the sixteenth century. See Life, ch. 36, no. 15; see
also ch. 34, no. 14; ch. 39, no. 3.
12. Teresa thought that a foundation could not exist without the
reservation of the Blessed Sacrament. She discovered her error
later. See ch. 19, no. 3.
13. For clarification on Teresa's understanding of "Lutherans" see
the introduction to The Way of Perfection in The Collected
Works of St. Teresa of Avila, vol. 2 (I.C.S. Publications: Wash-
ington, D.C. 1980) pp. 19-20.
14. This merchant was Bias de Medina.
15. She was a niece of Cardinal Quiroga, the general inquisitor. In
1581 she entered the Carmel in Medina, taking the name Elena
de Jesus. Her daughter, Jeronima de la Encarnacion, was already
a member of that community.
16. In ch. 2, nos. 5-6.
17. See no. 3.
18. This was St. John of the Cross (1542-1591), then a Carmelite
with the name Juan de Santo Matia.
CHAPTER 4
1. In chs. 4-8 Teresa inserts a short treatise concerning the life of
prayer in her communities, useful not only for her daughters but
for confessors and spiritual directors as well.
2. The story of the foundation of St. Joseph's in Avila (Life, chs.
32-36) was written in 1565. Teresa wrote this chapter of the
Foundations in the later months of 1573 at Salamanca. The
reason she had not founded more was that the apostolic visitator
Pedro Fernandez, O.P., had appointed her prioress at the Incar-
nation (1571-1573). For the seven monasteries, in addition to
Avila, see prol., note 3.
3. See for example Way of Perfection, ch. 21, no. 7.
4. See Way of Perfection, ch. 21, no. 7; Life, ch. 20, no. 16.
5. Teresa wrote carefully in the margin: "I am not dealing here with
founders of Religious orders, for since God chose them for a great
work, He gave them more grace." This annotation may have been
motivated by the same scruple that occasioned a cancellation in
418
St. Teresa of Avila
the previous number for which she substituted "and this is true."
In the autograph, paragraph no. 7 is highlighted by vertical lines in
the margin. See parallel passage in Interior Castle, V, ch. 4, no. 6.
6. In no. 5.
CHAPTER 5
1. For example, see Life, ch. 17, nos. 5-7; Way of Perfection,
ch. 31, no. 8; Interior Castle, IV, ch. 1, no. 8.
2. Mt. 25:40.
3. Ph. 2:8: "obedient unto death."
4. For the second reason, see no. 14.
5. Allusion to Ps. 34:9.
6. In no. 1.
7. Lk. 10:16.
8. IK. 18:38.
9. The first reason is stated in no. 4.
10. For the Teresian proverb in this respect, see Interior Castle, VII,
ch. 4, no. 7, note 8.
11. Allusion to Mt. 26:31-35, 67-75.
12. On this subject, see Interior Castle, VII, ch. 4, no. 5, note 6.
CHAPTER 6
1. In this chapter Teresa exposes a kind of psychological anomaly
that only appears to be mystical in nature. She creates her own
terminology, a number of expressions, in order to speak of it: em-
bebecimiento (nos. 1, 2, 6, 7): absorption; embobamiento (no.
3): stupefaction; pasmos (no. 5): states of daze; pausada (no. 5):
listless; amort ecimientos (no. 6): swoons.
2. See Life, ch. 20.
3. This kind of self-abandonment (dejarse) to these absorptions was
practiced by the group within the illuminist movement known as
dejados. Their spirituality developed along unorthodox lines. See
Collected Works of St. Teresa, 1:7.
4. In ch. 7.
5. In no. 2.
6. In ch. 5, nos. 2, 10-11.
7. In no. 6.
8. Teresa is purposely vague about their identities, and it is not easy
to pinpoint either the place or the names. Fr. Silverio believed she
was referring to Alberta Bautista who died a saintly death at the
age of 35, and to Ines de la Conception, the lay Sister, both of the
monastery in Medino del Campo. See BMC, 6:51.
Notes — The Foundations
9. In6s de Jesus (Tapia).
10. In no. 4.
11. She is speaking of herself; see Life, ch. 25, no. 14.
12. Allusion to IS. 15:22.
13. Allusion to what was said in chs. 4 and 5.
14. Allusion to Mt. 16:19.
CHAPTER 7
1. Under the term "melancholy," Teresa includes a whole series
of emotional and mental disorders difficult to reduce to a definite
category. The humor called melancholy (black bile) was in the
past looked upon as one of the four chief bodily fluids. Mental
disorder was supposed to be caused by an excess of this humor.
2. See Way of Perfection, ch. 24, nos. 4-5.
3. In nos. 2-3.
4. In no. 3.
5. The danger to one's salvation; see nos. 3-4.
6. In no. 5.
7. In nos. 3-4.
8. Here Teresa is suggesting that these nuns, lest they suffer physical
weakness, be dispensed from the perpetual abstinence from meat
(see Constitutions, no. 11); fish was a customary substitute for
meat in her Carmels.
9. In nos. 8-9.
CHAPTER 8
1 . This statement is a marginal gloss in Teresa's hand.
2. Teresa is referring to herself. See Life, ch. 29, nos. 5-7; In-
terior Castle, VI, ch. 9, nos. 12-13.
3. Teresa noted in the margin: "Fray Maestro Domingo Banez."
4. In no. 3.
5. Allusion to Mt. 15:27.
6. Teresa is referring to her own experience. As for the man of whom
she speaks, some think it was Juan Manteca, a peasant from Avila
famous for his extraordinary mystical experiences. After speaking
with him, Teresa was left dissatisfied with his spirit. He was later
brought to justice for his fraud. See BMC, 19:81.
CHAPTER 9
1 . Dona Luisa de la Cerda. See Life, ch. 34, note 1 .
2. Malagon is a small town, still today, in the province of Ciudad
Real. In feudal times it belonged to the duchy of Medinaceli.
420
St. Teresa of Avila
3. Her confessor at the time was Domingo Banez, O.P. See ch. 3,
note 11; Spiritual Testimonies, 58, note 17. Banez was opposed to
Teresa's desires for absolute poverty (see Life, ch. 36, no. 15). His
opposition was based on the mind of the Council of Trent
(1545-1563), Session 25, De reformatione regularium, ch. 3.
4. April 11. Teresa urged Dona Luisa to build her nuns in Malagon
a new monastery, the construction of which she supervised care-
fully. Inaugurated December 8, 1579, this building remains to-
day, an exceptional relic still housing Teresa's daughters.
CHAPTER 10
1. Because of the kind of life this young man lived, Teresa does not
give his name. He was, in fact, Don Bernardino de Mendoza,
brother of the bishop of Avila, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, and of
Dona Maria de Mendoza, who is also spoken of in this chapter.
2. The estate was called Rio de Olmos and was close to the river Pisu-
erga toward the south of the city. It had been previously occupied
by a community of Carmelite friars who moved into the city Feb-
ruary 1, 1563. Besides being unhealthy, the place was unprac-
tically located in view of the nuns' dependence on alms, for Teresa
had founded the monastery in poverty.
3. He died in Ubeda in February of 1568 while Teresa was in Alcala
de Henares.
4. She arrived in Valladolid August 10, 1568, and on August 15 in-
augurated the foundation at Rio de Olmos.
5. The monastery of the Carmelite friars. See note 2.
6. They were Isabel de la Cruz, Antonia del Espiritu Santo, and
Maria de la Cruz.
7. See ch. 3, no. 2.
8. St. John of the Cross who in Valladolid underwent a kind of ap-
prenticeship in the new form of Carmelite life under the guidance
of Teresa. See ch. 3, nos. 16-17.
9. See no. 2.
10. The priest was Julian de Avila who later wrote of this event: "...
and when I gave the Blessed Sacrament to the Mother, I saw her
in a great rapture, which she often experienced before or after
receiving Communion" (BMC, 18:221). The painter Rubens im-
mortalized this scene.
1 1 . From August 15 until October of the same year when they moved
to a temporary location.
12. Don Francisco de los Cobos had been a secretary and confidant of
Charles V and a counselor of Philip II. He died in 1547.
Notes — The Foundations
421
13. The bishop of Avila was Don Alvaro de Mendoza. See Ltf e,ch.
36, nos. 1-2.
14. February 3, 1569, they moved to the place inside Valladolid
known today as the Rondilla de Santa Teresa.
15. She speaks of the third, youngest daughter in no. 13.
16. Antonio Manrique de Padilla entered the Jesuits March 8, 1572,
and was a novice under the direction of Baltasar Alvarez, the for-
mer confessor of Teresa's.
17. This confessor was Fr. Jeronimo de Ripalda, SJ.
CHAPTER 11
1 . She was Estefama de los Apostoles who received the habit in Valla-
dolid July 2, 1572. The fame of her simple and saintly life spread
even to the king, Philip II, and many edifying stories were told
about her. A manuscript biography of her was written by Maria
de San Jose. Despite this mention, Teresa then neglects to tell us
about her.
2. Dona Luisa de Padilla, widow of Don Antonio Manrique and
mother of Don Martin de Padilla.
3. Ch. 10, no. 15.
4. The prioress of Valladolid was Maria Bautista.
5. Domingo Banez. See ch. 3, no. 5, note 11.
6. At the time (July 1573), Teresa was probably in Salamanca.
7. That is, December 8-28, 1573.
8. A monastery of Dominican nuns in Valladolid.
9. Dona Casilda was professed a week after her fifteenth birthday,
January 13, 1577. But this story has a further ending, a surprise
and disappointing one for Teresa. In a letter to Gracian, Septem-
ber 17, 1581, she speaks of the news, "shocking" to her, that Dona
Casilda, then about twenty, had left the Carmelite monastery in
Valladolid. It seems both Casilda's mother and the Jesuit con-
fessor, neither of whom got along with the subprioress, had some
influence on the decision. Casilda joined the Franciscan nuns of
Santa Gadea del Cid, where she became abbess.
CHAPTER 12
1 . This chapter heading is not in Teresa's hand. The account of this
nun's life and virtues is an example of the kind of necrological lit-
erature later imitated by Teresa's friars and nuns alike. The mon-
astery referred to is Valladolid (see ch. 10).
422
St. Teresa of Avila
2. Beatriz de la Encarnacion (Onez) (d. 1573) was born in Arroyo, in
the province of Valladolid, received the habit of Carmel Septem-
ber 8, 1569, and made profession in 1570.
3. See Constitutions, nos. 29, 30, 39, and 43.
4. In nos. 4-9.
CHAPTER 13
1. In chap. 3, nos. 16-17.
2. In fact, she was satisfied only with Fray John of the Cross. See ch.
3, nos. 16-17.
3. To distinguish the two groups in Carmel, Teresa uses the terms
"calced" and "discalced," which stem from a difference in foot-
wear. In these Foundations and in her Letters she refers to them
as well by the stuff of their habits: cloth or frieze (rough wool).
4. Don Rafael Mejia Velazquez. See MHCT, 1:74-75.
5. The official name was and still is today Duruelo. But the place
looks more like a small farm or pasture land than a town and gives
the impression of being even more insignificant than it was formerly.
6. The Sister companion was Antonia del Espiritu Santo, one of the
four first nuns who formed the little community of St. Joseph's in
Avila. The priest was Julian de Avila, the first chaplain of that
monastery in Avila.
7. The foundations were: Duruelo (1568), which was transferred to
Mancera (1570), Pastrana (1569), Alcala (1570), Altomira (1571),
La Roda (1572), Granada (1573), La Penuela (1573), Los Remedios
in Seville (1574), Almodovar del Campo (1575). Since Duruelo had
been abandoned, there were only nine.
8. See ch. 2, no. 5. The previous provincial was Angel de Salazar
and the present one was Alonso Gonzalez.
9. See Litterae Patentes P.Joannis Baptista Rossi in MHCT, 1:68-71.
10. Inch. 10.
11. This important paragraph shows how St. John of the Cross re-
ceived special, personal instructions from St. Teresa about the
spirit and way of life of the new Carmels she was founding.
CHAPTER 14
1 . It was the First Sunday of Advent, November 28, 1568. See MHCT,
1:74-75.
2. In 1569, the First Sunday of Lent fell on February 27. Teresa had
written "the first week of the following Lent, but later crossed
out "the first week of." Nonetheless, the visit did occur around the
Notes — The Foundations
423
first week of Lent. She left Valladolid February 22 for Toledo
passing through Medina, Duruelo, and Avila.
3. These two were Father Lucas de Celis and Brother Jose de Cristo,
a deacon. Neither of them persevered for long. See Silverio de
Santa Teresa, Historia del Carmen Descalzo enEspana, Portugal
y America, 15 vols. (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo), 3:206-07.
(Henceforth cited HCD)
4. Don Luis de Toledo was both a relative of the duke of Alba and
lord of Mancera, the town to which the foundation of Duruelo
was transferred, as well as of five other towns. See HCD, 3:234.
5 . Its full name is Mancera de Abajo to distinguish it from Mancera
de Arriba. The first foundation in Duruelo was transferred to
Mancera June 11, 1570 and remained there until 1600 when it
was transferred to Avila. See HCD, 3:234-40.
6. After the digression on Mancera, Teresa returns to her account of
Duruelo.
CHAPTER 15
1 . Martm Ramirez (d. 1568), a wealthy merchant from Toledo, pro-
vided for the foundation in Toledo.
2. A Galician, from Santiago de Compostela, Pablo Hernandez
(b.1528) was one of the many Jesuits who helped Teresa in carry-
ing out her mission. Her letters reveal her trust in him, and at this
time she responded by giving him power to proceed in her name.
3. The chaplaincy is a fund established for the celebration of daily
Mass in a particular church by chosen chaplains.
4. Today this feast is known as the Annunciation. Teresa left Valla-
dolid Feb. 21, 1569, stayed in Avila for about two weeks and ar-
rived in Toledo March 24, 1569.
5. They were Isabel de San Pablo (1547-82) and Isabel de Santo
Domingo (1537-1623). The latter was a nun in whom Teresa
placed special trust. She was made prioress in Toledo and later
sent as prioress to Pastrana where she had to deal tactfully with
the difficult situations caused by the Princess of Eboli (see ch. 17,
no. 17).
6. The archbishop of Toledo was the noted Bartolome de Carranza
(1503-76), who was then involved in a struggle because of the pro-
ceedings instituted against him by the Spanish Inquisition. The
diocese was being governed by an administrator.
7. Pedro Manrique de Padilla (d.1577) was the uncle of Casilda de
Padilla, whose vocation is described in chs. 10-11.
8. These are still preserved and venerated by the Carmelite nuns in
424
St. Teresa of Avila
Toledo. One represents Jesus having fallen with the cross, and the
other represents Him seated during His Passion in deep suffering
and meditation.
9. Alonso de Avila (d. 1586) was one of the many merchants of judeo-
converso origin from Toledo. A short biography of him in manu-
script form exists in the conventual archives of the Carmelite nuns
in Toledo and was written by P. Hernando Davila.
10. Alonso de Andrada was a young twenty- two year old student.
11. In no. 10.
12. From May 14, 1569 to the end of May, 1570.
13. In nos. 4 and 11.
14. Dona Luisa de la Cerda.
15. In nos. 1-2.
CHAPTER 16
1. Ana de la Madre de Dios (Palma) (1529-1610) was married and
became a widow at age 21. She met Teresa in the palace of Dona
Luisa de la Cerda and generously offered her wealth for the foun-
dation in Toledo. She made her profession there November 15,
1570, and governed as prioress several times. She died in the Car-
mel of Cuerva.
2. At first Teresa wrote: "I had to be careful about what I said."
She then added between the lines, "the prioress . . . what she
said," so as to make the account sound more impersonal.
3. Teresa had first written, "she came to speak to me. I asked her,
etc." She obviously wanted to withhold the part she played in
these incidents, as is indicated at the end of this number.
4. She is speaking of Petronila de San Andres (Robles del Aguila)
(1545-1576) born in Toledo and professed there in 1571. See
BMC, 5:444-446.
CHAPTER 17
1. In 1569, the months of May, June, and July kept Teresa busy
with activities and travels, which may be summarized as follows:
May 14, the foundation day of the Carmel in Toledo; May 30,
leaves for Pastrana and arrives the same day in Madrid; June 8,
arrives in Pastrana; June 23, foundation day for the Carmel of
nuns in Pastrana; July 13, foundation for the friars in Pastrana;
July 21, returns to Toledo.
2. They were six in all, four from the Incarnation and two from the
Carmel in Malagon.
3. Ruy Gomez de Silva, a Portuguese by birth, was brought up with
Notes— The Foundations
425
Philip II, who liked and favored him. His wife, Dona Ana de
Mendoza, better known by her title, the princess of Eboli, was a
capricious, willful woman who later became a source of much
trouble for Teresa and her nuns.
4. Her confessor at that time was Father Vicente Barron. See Life,
ch. 7, no. 16-17; Spir. Test., 58, note 16.
5. Dona Leonor de Mascarenas (1503-1584), Portuguese by birth,
had become Philip IFs governess and was later dissuaded by him
from entering a monastery. In 1564 she founded in Madrid a
monastery of Franciscan nuns called "Descalzas Reales," which
was close to her mansion where Teresa occasionally stayed.
6. Mariano Azzaro (Fr. Ambrosio Mariano de San Benito) (1510-
1594), was born in Bitonto, Italy, in the province of Bari. Having
studied theology and law to such effect that he attended the
Council of Trent, he was also skilled in mathematics and engi-
neering. As an engineer in the service of Philip II, he was exam-
ining the possibility of making the Guadalquivir navigable from
Seville to Cordoba and of using it for irrigation purposes when he
experienced the call to become a hermit. Later, as a Carmelite
friar, he continued to be esteemed by the king and consulted on
various engineering projects. Hasty and impulsive, he was at
times difficult to deal with as is evident in Teresa's correspon-
dence.
7. Juan de la Miseria (Giovanni Narduch) (c. 1526-1616), was born
in Boggiano, Italy, in the province of Naples. A painter, disciple
of Sanchez Coello, he is remembered especially for the portrait he
did of Teresa in Seville in 1576. After joining Teresa's friars, he
later transferred to the Carmelites of the observance and then to
the Franciscans, but finally returned to the Teresian Carmelites
and went on the foundation to Genoa. In his old age he suffered
from paralysis and blindness. He died in Madrid where his body is
preserved incorrupt.
8. In Dn. 13.
9. Mateo de la Fuente (1524-1575), born in Alminuete, near Toledo,
later placed his hermits under the rule of St. Basil because of the
demands of the Council of Trent.
10. When she speaks of the Council as coming, she is referring to the
introduction of the decrees of the Council of Trent into Spain. In
the constitution Lubricum genus, November 17, 1568, Pius V
granted a year within which to comply. See Council of Trent,
Sess. 25, ch. 5, De reformation religiosorum.
11. See no. 3.
426
St. Teresa of Avila
12. At the time she was writing this chapter (1574-1576), the opposi-
tion to her had begun.
13. Duruelo, which at the time of this writing had been transferred to
Mancera, as is indicated further on in no. 14.
14. Alonso Gonzalez and Angel de Salazar respectively.
15. In fact, about two months. She left Toledo May 30 and returned
July 21.
16. In no. 6.
17. Baltasar de Jesus (Nieto) (1524-1589), a restless and inglorious
figure in the history of Carmel, became the first superior of Pas-
trana. Omitting her customary accolade about the person being a
great servant of God, Teresa refers to him as neither young nor
old and a very good preacher. Nor did Teresa want the founda-
tion established until Fr. Antonio arrived July 13.
18. During Lent 1574.
19. Ruy Gomez died July 29, 1573. His widow, the princess, thirty-
three at the time, distressed over her loss, insisted on becoming a
nun in the Carmel at once.
20. Inch. 21.
21. In no. 16.
CHAPTER 18
1 . The two foundations were those in Pastrana, one for the nuns and
one for the friars. Teresa returned to Toledo July 22, 1569, where
she bought the house mentioned in ch. 15, no. 17.
2. The rector was Martin Gutierrez (1504-1573). On a trip to Rome
for the election of a general to succeed St. Francis Borgia, he was
taken prisoner by the Huguenots and died in captivity.
3. Teresa's monasteries were now of two kinds: those founded in pov-
erty, dependent on alms, and those founded with the endowment
of a fixed income. See ch. 9, nos. 2-4.
4. Probably not remembering the name of the bishop, Teresa left
the space blank; she never did remember to fill it in. The bishop's
name was Don Pedro Gonzalez de Mendoza.
5. This lady was probably Dona Beatriz Yanez de Ovalle, a rela-
tive of Teresa's brother-in-law.
6. This chapter was being written sometime between 1574-1576.
7. Maria del Sacramento (Suarez) (d.1589), originally from the
monastery of the Incarnation and later the prioress of Alba de
Tormes.
8. See ch. 3, nos. 11-14.
9. October 31, 1570.
Notes — The Foundations
427
10. The chapter is a community meeting at which faults in the obser-
vance of the constitutions are corrected. See Constitutions, no. 43
in note 24.
1 1 . Teresa is here referring to the legend in the Roman Martyrology
(October 21) concerning the eleven thousand virgins martyred
near Cologne by the Huns; one of them named Cordula fled at
first and hid, but later, moved by the grace of God, offered herself
to the persecutors and was beheaded.
CHAPTER 19
1. See ch. 18, no. 3.
2. Nicolas Gutierrez, a Salamancan businessman, had six daughters
in the monastery of the Incarnation, all of whom later entered the
Teresian Carmel.
3. In ch. 18, no. 2.
4. In fact, two nuns came from Medina and one from Valladolid;
later three others joined them from Avila.
5. See ch. 18, no. 3.
6. They were Poor Clare Franciscan nuns.
7 . It was the custom to toll the church bells on the vigil and the day
itself of All Souls. See no. 2.
8. She was appointed prioress of the monastery of the Incarnation
in Avila by the apostolic visitator, Pedro Fernandez, O.P., in July
of 1571 and took possession of the office in October. Fernandez
had been named to the office by Pius V, August 20, 1569.
9. The apostolic visitator, Pedro Fernandez.
10. The gentleman's name was Pedro de la Banda.
11. See ch. 3, no. 2; ch. 10, no. 4.
12. September 28, 1573. The sermon was preached by the noted Di-
ego de Estella.
13. Dona Maria Pimentel was a daughter of the fifth count of Bene-
vente and wife of Don Alonso Zuiiiga, the third count of Mon-
terrey.
14. In fact, in 1579, Teresa had to obtain permission from the bishop
to move the community to another house, and after her death in
1582, the nuns moved.
CHAPTER 20
1. Domingo Banez, the noted Dominican theologian, had been Te-
resa's confessor during the years 1561-1567. For other instances
of his opinion in this regard, see ch. 9, no. 3; Life, ch. 36, no. 15.
In regard to the Council of Trent, see ch. 9, note 3.
428
St. Teresa of Avila
2. Teresa de Layz was a daughter of Don Diego Layz and Dona
Beatriz de Aponte. "Pure blood" was the term used to exclude
Jewish or Moorish background and illustrates a prejudice of the
time.
3. He was, in fact, administrator of the University of Salamanca
from May 17, 1541 to February 1, 1566.
4. It was the office of administrator for the duke. See no. 1.
5. See Jon. 1-2.
6. January 25.
7. She feared giving this impression if she had a part to play in the
account she was giving. See ch. 16, no. 3.
8. Teresa's difficulties in remembering the dates are manifest in
the titles of the following three chapters.
CHAPTER 21
1. See chapter 19, no. 6. Pedro Fernandez (d. 1580) was a great help
to Teresa and her foundations especially during the years 1571 -
1574.
2. She arrived in Salamanca July 31, 1573.
3. They were received into the order by Teresa. The mother took
the name Ana de Jesus and the daughter, Maria de la Encar-
nacion. They made their profession July 2, 1575. Both of them
later exercised the office of prioress.
4. The apostolic commissary and visitator, Fr. Pedro Fernandez, in-
vested with pontifical authority.
5. The discalced friar was St. John of the Cross, though it seems the
first Mass was said by Julian de Avila. Antonio Gaytan from Alba
de Tormes was converted, through Teresa's influence, to a more
spiritual life. Assisting the Saint on her foundations of Segovia,
Beas, Caravaca, and Seville, he became the recipient of her great
confidence, especially in the foundation of Caravaca in which
Teresa authorized him to act in her name. His daughter Mariana
de Jesus (1570-1615) was admitted by Teresa into the monastery
of Alba de Tormes at the exceptional age of seven as an act of
gratitude for the services rendered by her father.
6. Isabel de Jesus, sister of Andres Jimena (see no. 5), best known for
the incident at Salamanca (Easter 1571) when, as a novice, she
sang a song that sent Teresa into a rapture. She was later a prior-
ess both in Palencia and Salamanca.
7. That is, from March 19 to September 24 when Teresa took pos-
session of the houses for the new monastery.
Notes— The Foundations 429
8. Don Juan de Orozco y Covarrubias de Leiva, prior of the cathe-
dral chapter and later bishop of Guadix and Baza.
9. They moved on September 24, 1574.
10. See no. 1 . Teresa left Segovia September 30, 1574. She concluded
her three year office of prioress October 6. It might be remem-
bered that shortly after she took possession of the house in Sego-
via, Teresa sent Fr. Julian de Avila and Gaytan to bring the four-
teen nuns in Pastrana to Segovia where they would be free of the
disturbances caused by the princess of Eboli. They arrived in Se-
govia in five wagons April 7, 1574. See chapter 17, no. 17.
CHAPTER 22
1. February 24. Teresa had written 1574. She erred on the date also
in nos. 4 and 19. But in the three instances the final 4 was cor-
rected to 5.
2. In ch. 21, no. 1.
3. In ch. 21, no. 1.
4. See ch. 2, nos. 3-4.
5. She is referring to one of the military orders of knights of that
time called the Order of Santiago (St. James). In a military order,
the knights combined the principles of monasticism and chivalry,
pledging themselves to the practice of asceticism and the recita-
tion of the canonical hours as well as to the defense of Christen-
dom against the infidel. Certain territories were governed by the
order and were under its jurisdiction rather than the ecclesiasti-
cal. See no. 13.
6. Here she begins an account of the conversion and vocation of
Catalina Sandoval y Godinez (de Jesus) (1540-1586) which led to
the foundation in Beas. Catalina succeeded Ana de Jesus as
prioress in 1582. St. John of the Cross was her spiritual director
until her death.
7. Allusion to Jn. 9:2.
8. In no. 5.
9. March 19, 1558.
10. In 1560; her mother (see no. 13), in 1565.
11. January 19, 1574.
12. Allusion to what was referred to in no. 14.
13. February 24. Accompanying Teresa on the journey were Fr. Ju-
lian de Avila, Antonio Gaytan, and Fr. Gregorio Martinez (1548-
1599), who received the habit of the discalced Carmelites in Beas
from Fr. Gracian and the name Gregorio Nacianceno. Venerable
Ana de Jesus (1545-1621), at whose request St. John of the Cross
wrote his commentary on the Spiritual Canticle, was appointed
the first prioress.
430
St. Teresa of Avila
14. They took the names Catalina de Jesus and Maria de Jesus. Like
her sister, Maria de Jesus (1549-1604) also had St. John of the Cross
as her spiritual director, and three of his letters to her have come
down to us. In 1589 she went to Cordoba as Prioress.
15. What follows is a kind of appendix to the chapter.
16. Cf. ch. 17, nos. 7, 14, 15.
17. Bartolome Bustamente. Before entering the Society, he had been
a secretary to Cardinal Pardo de Tavera and was acquainted with
the cardinal's nephew, the husband of Dona Luisa de la Cerda.
18. In no. 1.
19. In no. 6.
20. Her provincial at that time was Jeronimo Gracian.
CHAPTER 23
1. Here too she wrote 1574; the date was corrected to read 1575.
2. She deals with the Caravaca foundation in ch. 27. Fr. Jeronimo
Gracian (1545-1614), an important figure in Teresian history,
was born in Valladolid, studied at the university of Alcala, and
was ordained a priest in 1570. Exceptionally gifted, he entered
the novitiate in Pastrana in 1572. After meeting Teresa in 1575,
he worked closely with her until her death. Later, falling into
disfavor with Doria, he was expelled from the order. He died in
Brussels.
3. Gracian's father, Diego Gracian, was a secretary in one of the
offices of Philip II.
4. Juan de Jesus (Roca) (c. 1540-1614) was born in Sanahuja in Ca-
talonia. A fellow student with Gracian at Alcala, he entered the
novitiate in Pastrana a few months before his companion.
5. The prioress was Isabel de Santo Domingo (1537-1623), one of
Teresa's outstanding daughters, who went with the foundress
from St. Joseph's in Avila to Toledo, became prioress there, and
after a few months was sent to Pastrana as prioress, where she had
to deal with many difficult situations because of the princess of
Eboli's meddling in community affairs. The nun about whom
Gracian spoke to the prioress was Barbara del Espiritu Santo.
6. See Gracian's Historia Fundationum in MHCT, 3: 539-541.
7. The words, "or almost none like him," were added between the
lines and strengthen Teresa's glowing evaluation of Gracian.
8. They had twenty children, thirteen reaching adulthood.
9. The friar to whom she is referring was Angel de San Gabriel. Go-
ing to extremes in austerities and ascetical testings, he had to be
corrected by Domingo Banez, O.P., and replaced by St. John of
Notes — The Foundations
431
the Cross; cf. MHCT, 1:128-131. The absent prior was Baltasar
de Jesus (Nieto); cf. ch. 17, no. 15, note 17.
10. She began to write "I was about to regret," but then changed.
11. Cf. ch. 3, nos. 16-17; ch. 13, no. 1.
12. Teresa seems to deny that the discalced had constitutions from
the Father General, Rubeo, and she seems to do so again in no.
13. Nonetheless, around 1568 he did approve constitutions for the
friars which were an adaptation of those written by Teresa for her
daughters, but apparently they were not used for long. Cf. B.
Zimmerman, Regesta Rubei (Rome, 1936), pp. 58-65; BMC,
6:399-406; PP. Tomas-Simeon, La Reforma Teresiana (Rome,
1962), pp. 97-100.
13. The apostolic visitator, Fr. Francisco Vargas, appointed Gracian
a delegate apostolic visitator in September of 1573. In 1574,
Gracian was appointed vicar provincial of the Carmelites of the
Observance in Andalusia, and in 1575 his authority was extended
to the Teresian Carmel. Cf. MHCT, 1:184-185.
CHAPTER 24
1. In ch. 23, no. 1.
2. The meeting between Gracian and Teresa took place in April
1575. Not until August 3 did the nuncio Ormaneto extend Gra-
cian's authority to all the discalced Carmelites. See MHCT,
1:221-223.
3. See ch. 27, no. 6.
4. This should read Andalusia and not Castile. In no. 2 she states
that Gracian was apostolic commissary in Andalusia. Beas was in
the ecclesiastical province of Andalusia; see no. 4.
5. Don Cristobal de Rojas y Sandobal (1502-1580), son of the mar-
quis of Denia, had been bishop of Oviedo, Badajoz, and Cor-
doba, as well as an active member of the Council of Trent.
6. In the division of Spain into provinces, Beas came under the ci-
vil jurisdiction of Castile; but ecclesiastically it belonged to the
diocese of Cartagena in Andalusia.
7. Cf.no. 2.
8. Fr. Gregorio Nacianceno who had already accompanied Teresa
on the foundation to Beas. See ch. 22, no. 19, note 13.
9. May 26, 1575.
10. Their names were: Maria de San Jose; Isabel de San Francisco;
Leonor de San Gabriel; Ana de San Alberto; Maria del Esplritu
Santo; and Isabel de San Jeronimo.
432
St. Teresa of A vila
1 1 . She mentioned only one discalced friar in the group; the other men
mentioned were Julian de Avila and Antonio Gaytan. See no. 5.
12. See no. 4.
13. See Council of Trent, Session 25, De Reformatione regularium,
ch. 3.
14. According to Maria de San Jose, the archbishop's opposition
came from his desire that Teresa and her daughters reform the
existing monasteries of nuns in Seville rather than found a new
one. See her Libro de Recreaciones (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo,
1913), Recr. 9.
15. May 29, 1575. The "said Father" was Fr. Mariano.
16. She had two patent letters from Fr. Rubeo, the general of the
Carmelites: one of April 27, 1567; another of April 6, 1571. See
MHCT, 1:62-65; 110-112.
CHAPTER 25
1. That is, from May 26, 1575, until February of the next year, a
period of nine months.
2. Fr. Gracian.
3. Beatriz de la Madre de Dios. See ch. 26, nos. 2-16.
4. See ch. 27, no. 20.
5. Lorenzo de Cepeda (1519-1580) had departed for America in
1540, and now returned to Spain, a widower, accompanied by
three of his children (Francisco, Lorenzo, and Teresita) and his
brother Don Pedro. A wealthy man, he disembarked in Sanlucar
de Barrameda and began to help Teresa with her foundation in
Seville. Soon, he turned to Teresa for direction in his own spiri-
tual life, and a number of her letters of spiritual direction to him
have come down to us. See Spiritual Testimonies, no. 41 .
6. Garcialvarez (or Garcia Alvarez) continued to help the nuns after-
ward in the capacity of confessor to the community. From the letters
of Teresa to Maria de San Jose, one deduces that he was a generous
man but lacking in learning and discretion. His interference in com-
munity affairs led to his dismissal as confessor of the community.
7. This took place April 5, 1576. The house cost 6,000 ducats, but
in a letter to Fr. Mariano, May 9, 1576, Teresa speaks of the great
bargain they got and of how the house could not be bought now
for 20,000.
8. Maria de San Jose (Salazar) (1548-1603). Born in Toledo, she be-
came a servant in the household of Dona Luisa de la Cerda where
in 1562 she met Teresa. In 1570 she took the habit in Malagon and
in 1575 accompanied Teresa to Beas and then Seville becoming
Notes — The Foundations
433
prioress there. Through correspondence she kept up a warm
friendship with Teresa. In 1584 she founded the Carmel in
Lisbon. But later, falling into disfavor with Doria, she was im-
prisoned there. In 1603 she was sent to Cuerva where she died.
9. An irregularity in the contract which had apparently gone un-
noticed, made the purchaser liable for a sales tax called the
alcabala. Since the community could not pay the tax, the guaran-
tor was held responsible. To avoid arrest, Don Lorenzo went into
sanctuary.
10. Fernando de Pantoja (d. 1582) was prior of the Carthusian mon-
astery of Santa Maria de las Cuevas in Seville from 1567 to 1580.
He was as well a native of Avila. See BMC, 6:250-251.
1 1 . This took place June 3, 1576. When the procession was over Teresa
knelt before the archbishop and received his blessing, but then, to
her embarrassment, the archbishop knelt before her and asked
for her blessing in the presence of all the people. See BMC.
18:469.
CHAPTER 26
1. June 4, 1576 at 2 a.m.
2. To temper the sadness of the nuns in Seville over Teresa's ap-
proaching departure, Fr. Gracian ordered Teresa to pose for a
portrait which was painted by Fray Juan de la Miseria. Still pre-
served by the nuns in Seville, it is the only definitely authentic por-
trait we possess of the Saint. When Teresa saw the finished prod-
uct, she remarked in good humor, "May God forgive you, Fray
Juan, for now that you have painted me, you have made me look
ugly and bleary-eyed." See J. Gracian, Peregrinacidn de Anas-
tasio in BMC, 17:201-202.
3. In ch. 18, nos. 4-5; 24, no. 6.
4. Beatriz de la Madre de Dios (Chaves) (1538-1624), this daughter
of Alfonso Gomez Ibero and Juana Gomez de Chaves, made her
profession September 29, 1576. In the next year her mother was
professed as Juana de la Cruz (see no. 15). Her unfortunate child-
hood may account for the malice she later showed toward the
prioress, Maria de San Jose, who as a result was deposed. Beatriz
then was appointed prioress by Cardenas, the Carmelite provin-
cial of the observance. In less than a year, new superiors, appoint-
ed through the intervention of the king, deprived her of office be-
cause of both her imprudent leadership and the debts the monas-
tery had accumulated. Maria de San Jose was once again elected.
Beatriz eventually repented and lived a long and useful life.
434
St. Teresa of Avila
5. In nos. 3-5.
6. In no. 9.
7. This monastery was founded January 6, 1574.
8. Gracian was twenty-nine. But Teresa was mistaken about the age
of Beatriz who at the time was not twenty-seven but thirty-six.
9. May 29, 1575, the same day on which the first Mass was said. Cf.
ch. 24, no. 18.
10. She made her profession Sept. 29, 1576. See Teresa's letter to
Maria de San Jose, June 18, 1576.
11. She made her profession Nov. 10, 1577.
CHAPTER 27
1. Inch. 22.
2 . After Catalina, she left a blank space with the intention of filling in
the surname which was de Otalora. Dona Catalina was the widow
of Alonso Munoz, a wealthy and influential gentleman of Cara-
vaca, who had been a member of the councils of Castile and of the
Indies.
3. The Jesuit was Father Leiva. The three young ladies were: Fran-
cisca de Saojosa, Francisca de Cuellar, and Francisca de Tauste.
4. Rodrigo de Moya, widower of Dona Luisa de Avila was the father
of Francisca de Cuellar.
5 . In making the foundation in Beas, Teresa brought with her enough
nuns for two foundations (see ch. 24, no. 4). But since Caravaca
was under the jurisdiction of the Order of the Knights of San-
tiago, the license for the foundation had the condition that the
foundation render obedience to the council of the Order of Knights,
which was something unacceptable to Teresa (see ch. 23, no. 1;
ch. 24, no. 3). For this and other reasons the nuns destined for
Caravaca were brought to the Seville foundation.
6. On March 10, 1575.
7. In no. 1.
8. Teresa's letter to Philip II has been lost, but the royal dispatch
bearing the date June 9, 1575, is still conserved (see BMC, 6:
257-262), as is also Teresa's grateful reply in a letter dated July
19, 1575.
9. In ch. 24, nos. 3-4. She left on May 18.
10. Ana de Alberto (Salcedo) (d. 1624), a native of Malagon, who was
one of the first to be professed there. She accompanied Teresa
from Malagon to Beas and Seville and from the latter went to
Caravaca. At Caravaca she met St. John of the Cross and became
one of his spiritual daughters.
Notes— The Foundations
435
11 . Ambrosio de San Pedro (d.c. 1593), a native of Pastrana who was
at the time vicar of Almodovar del Campo, and Miguel de la Co-
lumna, not a Father but a lay Brother who was later to cause some
trouble by signing a slanderous statement claiming that Gracian
was living a depraved life. He later declared that he had not read
a word of the statement and had been pressured into signing it by
Fray Baltasar de Jesus (Nieto), Jeronimo Tostado, and others.
12. They arrived in Caravaca December 18, 1575. The Blessed Sacra-
ment was reserved January 1, 1576 (see chapter heading).
13. This was Francisca de Saojosa, who later, though, was accepted
through the intervention of Fr. Gracian and made profession June
1, 1578.
14. Lorenzo de Cepeda (see ch. 25, no. 3).
15. Thinking this would be the end of her book, Teresa left some
blank spaces as though what was to follow would serve as an epi-
logue to what she had written.
16. 1 K. 19:2-5.
17. Gregorio Martinez y Lopez who took the name Gregorio Nacian-
ceno (see ch. 24, no. 5).
18. Seech. 21, no. 2; ch. 22, no. 2, andch. 24, no. 20. She is referring
probably to the patent of April 6, 1571 (See MHCT, 1:110-112).
19. She is referring to the general chapter at Piacenza in Italy, cele-
brated under the presidency of Father Rubeo in May and June of
1575. The definitory of the chapter imposed on Teresa the com-
mand to retire definitively to a monastery in Castile and not go
out to make any new foundations. Teresa wanted to submit to this
order immediately, but Father Gracian prevented this. As apos-
tolic visitator, he held jurisdiction independent of the superior
general. In the acts of the chapter there is no record of this order
imposed on the Saint.
20. Teresa uses this term "accidental joy" in the theological sense of
her time, but with a very original application. Accidental joy was
that joy experienced by the blessed in heaven that did not flow
directly from their vision of God.
21. Allusion to 2 Sm: 14-15.
22. She leaves another space of one or two lines and then concludes
with the following colophon.
23. In the prologue, no. 2.
24. In view of the circumstances, Teresa thought that her work of
founding new monasteries had come to an end.
436
St. Teresa of Avila
CHAPTER 28
1. Neither this chapter nor those that follow were numbered by
Teresa. At the close of the preceding chapter she inserted the four
counsels given her by the Lord for her Carmelite Fathers. Editors
usually omit them because they are not a part of this work. See
Spiritual Testimonies, 64.
2. The foundation in Seville was made in 1575-1576; the present
foundation was made in 1580.
3. The word "almost" was inserted by Teresa between the lines.
4. Father Juan Bautista Rubeo; see ch. 2.
5. She is alluding to Frs. Pedro Fernandez and Francisco Vargas,
O.P. , named visitators by Pius V in 1569, and to Fr. Gracian, del-
egate of the latter (1573) and confirmed in his office by the nuncio
Ormaneto (1574).
6. The "holy nuncio" was Nicolas Ormaneto who died in Madrid
June 18, 1577. His successor, Felipe Sega (c. 1537-1596) came to
Spain (Aug. 30, 1577) badly disposed toward Teresa and her
work because of misinformation he had received in Rome prior to
his departure. He was in fact a relative of Cardinal Filippo Buon-
compagni, Cardinal protector of the Carmelites and nephew of
Pope Gregory XIII. Thus, Teresa says the new nuncio was a dis-
tant relative of the pope.
7. One of Teresa's ways of referring to the Carmelites of the Obser-
vance; cf. ch. 13, no. 1.
8. In a brief dated October 18, 1578, Sega placed the discalced friars
and nuns under the authority of the Carmelite provincials of
Castile and Andalusia.
9. Allusion to Jon. 1:4-15.
10. The four counselors were: Don Luis Manrique, the king's chap-
lain and major almoner; Fray Lorenzo de Villavicencio, an Au-
gustinian; and the Dominicans, Hernando del Castillo and Pedro
Fernandez. On April 1, 1579, they nullified the authority of the
provincials over the discalced friars and nuns and appointed in
their place as vicar general Teresa's former provincial, Fr. Angel
de Salazar.
1 1 . Agustm de Ervias was a learned canon of Cuenco, who exchanged
his office for parish priest of Villanueva de la Jara because of his
desire for the care of souls.
12. Alonso Velazquez (d. 1587), after spending some years as professor
at the University of Alcala, was made a canon of Toledo, where he
became Teresa's confessor and advisor. He was later appointed
bishop of Osma, and then, archbishop of Santiago. See Spir.
Test., 65.
Notes— The Foundations
437
13. She is alluding to the punishment imposed by Sega; see no. 4. This
monastery near La Roda was founded in 1572.
14. Gabriel de la Asuncion (1544-1584 ) was a native of Pastrana and
much esteemed by the prince and princess of Eboli. As prior he
governed the monastery at la Roda from 1576-1580 and there
acted as spiritual director of Catalina de Cardona.
15. She arrived in Malagon Nov. 25, 1579.
16. From Toledo she chose Maria de los Martires (for prioress) and
Constanza de la Cruz; from Malagon, Elvira de San Angelo (for
subprioress) and Ana de San Agustm.
17. In no. 11.
18. Allusion to IK. 19:9-13.
19. Catalina de Cardona (1519-1577) who arranged for the founda-
tion of this monastery died May 11, 1577.
20. Catalina de Cardona had been governess to Don Juan de Austria,
son of Charles V, and to Don Carlos, son of Philip II. In 1563 she
withdrew to the solitude of La Roda, and in 1571 began to wear
the Carmelite habit, but with the friar's cowl.
21 . The hermit's name was Fr. Pina, and he had his hermitage on the
mount of La Vera Cruz.
22. "or other things" was added between the lines by Teresa.
23. "a woman" was added in the margin by Teresa.
24. The Carmelite nuns in Toledo; see no. 26.
25. Teresa wrote "Mercenarians." They were, in fact, the Trinitarians
at Fuensanta.
26. The part about the tunic was added between the lines by Teresa.
27 . This took place May 6 , 1571. The habit was given by the prior, Fr .
Baltasar de Jesus, in the presence of the prince and princess of
Eboli.
28. In ch. 17, nos. 6-15.
29. The tomb (sepulcher) included a carved representation of the
dead Christ surrounded by His Mother and others.
30. Gracian crossed out the "Fray" and wrote "Don."
31. In no. 20.
32. Gabriel de la Asuncion; see no. 11.
33. February 21.
34. See no. 8.
35. A beata was a woman who wore a religious habit and lived a pious
Christian life without belonging to any religious order.
CHAPTER 29
1 . The monogram IHS precedes the chapter title. The chapter number
was omitted. The feast of King David was celebrated December 29.
438
St. Teresa of Avila
2. The major superior (vicar general) was Fr. Angel de Salazar. See
ch. 28, no. 6.
3. See Life, ch. 36 no. 2. Don Alvaro de Mendoza had been appointed
bishop of Palencia June 28, 1577.
4. August 8, 1580. The previous March, Teresa became a victim of
what was called the "universal influenza," a virus that swept through
and leveled Spain that year.
5. The prioress was Maria Bautista de Ocampo (see ch. 1 note 3). A
native of Toledo, she was the daughter of Teresa'a cousin. At the
age of eighteen, she was taken by Teresa to live at the Incarnation
and was the first to suggest the founding of a new monastery (see
Life, ch. 32, no. 10). She became a discalced nun at St. Joseph's
and was one of the two from St. Joseph's to accompany Teresa on
the second foundation of Medina. In 1568, she transferred to Val-
ladolid and in 1571 became prioress there. She was one of Teresa's
most frequent correspondents. But in her last days she sided with
the mother-in-law of Teresa's nephew Don Francisco de Cepeda
who was contesting the inheritance left to St. Joseph's in Avila by
Teresa's brother Lorenzo. According to Blessed Anne of St. Bar-
tholomew, Teresa in her last visit to Valladolid shortly before her
death was treated rudely by the prioress Maria Bautista on ac-
count of this family dispute over the inheritance.
6. It was he who encouraged Teresa to write about her foundations;
see prologue, no. 2.
7. See ch. 3, no. 1 and note 3.
8. In no. 1.
9. December 28, 1580.
10. Jeronimo Reinoso (1546-1600), from then on a close friend of
Teresa's.
1 1 . The first, Porras, was confessor to the Carmelite nuns in Vallado-
lid. The second, Agustm de Victoria, was a benefactor of the
nuns in Valladolid and had a daughter who was a member of the
community, Maria de San Agustm. Also accompanying Teresa
from Valladolid to Palencia was Fr. Gracian.
12. This lay Sister was Blessed Anne of St. Bartholomew (1549-1626).
Having entered St. Joseph's in Avila, she learned to write in order
to serve as secretary to Teresa. After Teresa broke her arm on
Christmas Eve, 1577, Blessed Anne accompanied her on her jour-
neys, nursed her in her illnesses and was with her when she died.
Eventually Blessed Anne went to France with a group of Sisters to
make foundations there. She became a choir Sister and later
prioress. She founded convents at Tours (1608) and at Antwerp
Notes — The Foundations
439
(1612) where she remained till her death. Her autobiography and
numerous letters have been published. The other four nuns were:
Ines de Jesus (Tapia), a cousin of Teresa's; Catalina del Espiritu
Santo; Maria de San Bernardo; and Juana de San Francisco.
13. Martin Alonso Salinas (d. 1592).
14. In no. 11.
15. Suero de Vega was the son of Juan de Vega, who had been viceroy
of Navarra and Sicily and president of the royal council. One of
his sons became a discalced Carmelite, Juan de la Madre de Dios.
16. In no. 14.
17. In nos. 15-16.
18. He was thirty-five at the time.
19. The messenger who would be sent by the owner to negotiate the
contract (see no. 16).
20. Allusion to Jn. 9:6-7.
21. In nos. 14, 15, 23.
22. The administrator for the bishop was Don Prudencio Armentia;
he was also a canon of the Palencia cathedral.
23. May 26, 1581.
24. The brief, Pia consideratione, given by Gregory XIII June 22,
1580. See MHCT, 2:191-207.
25. This chapter took place in March of 1581. St. John of the Cross
was elected a provincial counselor. For the full documents, see
MHCT, 2:236-316.
CHAPTER 30
1. June 14, 1581. In Teresa's time it was generally believed among
Carmelites that the prophets Elijah and Elisha often dwelt on Mt.
Carmel and that saintly men continued to live there in solitude.
These hermits, living in the spirit of the prophets, were later con-
verted by the preaching of the apostles. On one side of the moun-
tain, they then built a church or oratory in honor of our Lady.
Thus, according to this tradition, they were the first among all re-
ligious orders to be called children of the Blessed Mary of Mount
Carmel. Following this version of the order's beginnings which
was the accepted one in her time, Teresa as with Elijah refers to
Elisha as our Father St. Elisha. Cf. ch. 27, no. 17; ch. 28, no. 20.
2. See ch. 28, no. 10.
3. Beatriz de Beamonte y Navarra (d. 1600) also contributed gener-
ously to the foundation of a Carmel in Pamplona in 1583. There
she entered as a nun and took the name Beatriz de Cristo.
4. This endowment was a generous one. Twenty- five per thousand
440
St. Teresa of A vzla
would be the equivalent of 2.5% since sums were expressed in
proportions of one thousand rather than one hundred (per cent)
so as to avoid decimal percentages.
5. The church was originally named Our Lady of the Villas, but
Dona Beatriz had the name changed to Blessed Trinity.
6. Fr. Gracian who was then in the city of Palencia.
7. In no. 2.
8. The seven nuns were: Catalina de Cristo (elected prioress on June
15), Beatriz de Jesus, Maria de Cristo, Juana Bautista, Maria de
Jesus, Maria de San Jose, and Catalina del Espiritu Santo. The lay
Sister was Maria Bautista. Teresa's companion was her nurse and
secretary, Blessed Anne of St. Bartholomew. Accompanying this
group of nuns were: Fr. Nicolas Doria and Brother Eliseo de la
Madre de Dios; Pedro de Ribera (of whom Teresa speaks in nos.
12-13) sent by Don Alvaro de Mendoza; a chaplain by the name
of Chacon and a police officer for security, both provided by the
bishop of Burgo de Osma; and finally Francisco de Cetina, a
chaplain sent by Dona Beatriz.
9. Nicolas de Jesus Maria (Doria) (1539-1594), born in Genoa, spent
his early life as a banker. Arriving in Spain in 1570, he settled in
Seville, but then sacrificed his future in finance for the religious
life, taking the discalced Carmelite habit in 1577. In 1585, he was
elected provincial at the chapter in Lisbon. His interference in
the governing of the discalced nuns put him in opposition with Fr.
Gracian and St. John of the Cross. He secured the expulsion of
Gracian from the order in 1592. In 1593 he attended the general
chapter in Cremona in which the separation of the two branches
of Carmelites was approved. He died in Alcala de Henares while
holding the office of General.
10. She is alluding to the adage, "For want of good men, my husband
was mayor."
11. May 31, 1581.
12. Not only did he give her his blessing, but, as did the archbishop of
Seville, he afterward made the Saint give him her blessing.
13. Teresa herself supervised this work.
14. See note 1.
15. August 6.
16. The Jesuit Father was Francisco de la Carrera.
17. In no. 2.
18. In the autograph the word "penitential" is followed by the word
"and" and then a long, blank space is left as though Teresa had
intended to add something.
Notes — The Foundations
441
19. She left Soria on August 16.
20. See note 8.
21. Blessed Anne of St. Bartholomew.
22. August 23.
CHAPTER 31
1 . This chapter (without a number in the orginal manuscript) was
written in Burgos the last days of June (cf. no. 17) at a time in
which Teresa's health was very poor. The more than average
number of misspellings, repetitions, and obscure or ambiguous
constructions point to Teresa's weakened and exhausted condi-
tion, although the account itself is a very lively one.
2. An Avilan, his name was Don Cristobal Vela (d. 1599). His father
Blasco Nunez Vela, was the viceroy of Peru under whose orders
two of Teresa's brothers fought against Pizarro. Both the viceroy
and Teresa's brother Antonio died in the battle of Iiiaquito in
1546. Francisco Nunez Vela, the viceroy's brother, was Teresa's
godfather. Don Cristobal was bishop in the Canary Islands from
1575 to 1580 when he was appointed archbishop of Burgos. There
he remained until his death.
3. Seech. 29, nos. 1,11,27; ch. 2, note 5; cf. ch. 10, no. 6; 13, no. 6;
17, no. 11.
4. The monastery, today in ruins, was better known as Our Lady del
Prado and located outside the city.
5. He received the pallium, which is worn at certain times by arch-
bishops.
6. She is referring to the Council of Trent. See Session 25, De refor-
matione regularium, ch. 3.
7. See ch. 29, no. 1. She is referring to the influenza she contracted
in Toledo and from which she suffered a relapse in Valladolid.
8. In ch. 29, no. 6.
9. In ch. 29, no. 6.
10. In the orginal she mistakenly wrote Soria instead of Burgos.
11. See Life, ch. 36, nos. 15-17.
12. Teresa had to return to Avila because of some difficulties in the
community with regard to certain minor abuses in the observance
of poverty and abstinence and also because of the community's
financial problems. The prioress, Maria de Cristo, renounced her
office, and Teresa was elected prioress. In her letter of Nov. 8,
1581, she wrote to Maria de San Jose, "they have now made me
prioress out of pure hunger."
442
St. Teresa of Avila
13. Catalina de Tolosa (1538-1608), the widow of Sebastian Mun-
charez, had seven children who entered Teresa's Carmel. Two
daughters were professed in Valladolid, Catalina de la Asuncion
and Casilda de San Angelo; two in Palencia, Maria de San Jose
and Isabel de la Trinidad; and one in Burgos, Elena de Jesus. Her
two sons became discalced Carmelite priests, Sebastian de Jesus,
provincial of Castile 1603-1606, and Juan Crisostomo, later a
professor at Salamanca college. In her fiftieth year, Catalina
herself entered the Carmel in Palencia.
14. In no. 7.
15. Inch. 30, nos. 13-14.
16. Ines de Jesus (d. 1601), a cousin of Teresa's, had been professed at
the Incarnation in Avila and became the first prioress at Medina
del Campo. In 1580, she went with Teresa to the new foundation
in Palencia where she became prioress.
17. The words of our Lord in the autograph are enclosed within var-
iously shaped strokes of the pen and thereby highlighted.
18. Catalina Manrique (see no. 10). These letters were received by
Teresa in Avila on November 29.
19. The Minims of St. Francis de Paula.
20. In Alcala on April 9, 1581, Fr. Gracian had already given the
license for the foundation.
21. This wagon was the one in which Teresa was riding.
22. They were: Tomasina Bautista (prioress), Ines de la Cruz, Cata-
lina de Jesus, Catalina de la Asuncion (daughter of Dona Catalina
de Tolosa), and Maria Bautista, a white veiled nun. The two who
were to return with Teresa were Blessed Anne of St. Bartholomew
and Teresa's niece Teresita.
23. She mentioned this in ch. 29, no. 30.
24. Cf. ch. 29, no.l.
25. The holy crucifix was venerated at the time in the monastery of
the Augustinians and is now in the Cathedral of Burgos.
26. In ch. 29, no. 12.
27. Cf. no. 15.
28. In nos. 18-19.
29. Pedro Manso had been a classmate of Gracian's at the University
of Alcala. He served as Teresa's confessor when Gracian left
Burgos. He was later appointed bishop of Calahorra (1594) where
he brought the discalced Carmelite nuns (1598) and friars (1603).
30. The church of San Gil.
31. To Valladolid; see no. 31.
32. Hernando de Matanza was the city magistrate and the mayor's
Notes — The Foundations
443
brother, Francisco de Cuevas had been a member of the court of
Charles V and was married to the Toledan writer Luisa Sigea de
Valasco.
33. In nos. 26-27.
34. In no. 26.
35. Pedro Manso (cf. no. 24) and Antonio Aguiar (cf. no. 33).
36. That is, from Feb. 23 to March 18.
37. Doctor Antonio Aguiar, a physician, had been a classmate of
Gracian's at the University of Alcala. Teresa had not yet men-
tioned him specifically (cf. nos. 23, 25, 33).
38. The owner was Don Manuel Franco. There were two priests given
the authorization to sell: Diego Ruiz de Ayala and Martin Perez
de Rozas.
39. That is, one of those authorized to sell.
40. Juan Ortega de la Torre y Frias.
41 . The sale was finalized March 16, 1582. The nuns moved in March
18.
42. The price was 1,290 ducats.
43. In nos. 32 and 34.
44. Jeronimo del Pino and his wife Magdalena Solorzano.
45. In no. 24.
46. The church and hospital of San Lucas, a few yards from the houses
bought by Teresa.
47. The license is dated April 18, 1582.
48. Seejn. 4: 7-15.
49. Fr. Gracian had returned from Valladolid.
50. Elena de Jesus who because of her young age did not make profes-
sion until June 5, 1586 (cf. note 12).
51 . Elena de Jesus received the habit from him April 20. Not only did
the archbishop preside at the ceremony but he also preached and
publicly accused himself for not having given the license earlier
and asked pardon for what he had made Teresa and her nuns go
through. See BMC, 2:328.
EPILOGUE
1. In Life, chs. 32-36.
2. See Life, ch. 33, no. 16.
3. Actually, it lasted fifteen years, from 1562 to 1577.
4. He was appointed bishop of Palencia June 28, 1577. Before mid-
July, Teresa had left Toledo for Avila. On August 2, Don Alvaro
made the transfer of jurisdiction legal. See MHCT, 1:365.
5. Cf. Life, ch. 33, no. 16.
6. Alonso Velazquez. Cf. ch. 28, no. 10 and note 12.
444
St. Teresa of Avila
THE CONSTITUTIONS
INTRODUCTION
1. See MHCT, 1:11.
2. See Life, ch. 36, no. 27, in The Collected Works of St. Teresa of
Avila, vol. 1.
3. See Maria de San Jose, "Ramillete de mirra" in Humor Y Espiri-
tualidad (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo, 1966), p. 423.
4. See BMC, 18:158.
5. In vol. 2 of The Collected Works, ch. 4, nos. 1 and 4.
6. See BMC, 19:1-2.
7. Cf. The Foundations, ch. 1, no. 1.
8. Cf. Life, ch. 35, nos. 1-2; ch. 36, no. 28; in vol. 1 of The Collected
Works.
9. See Escritos de Santa Teresa, ed. D. Vicente de la Fuente, 2 vols.
(Madrid: M. Rivadeneyra, 1861-2).
10. See Obras de Santa Teresa de fesus, ed. P. Silverio de Santa Teresa,
vol. 5 (Burgos: El Monte Carmelo, 1915-1925); Santa Teresa de
fesus Obras Completas, ed. Efren de la Madre de Dios and Otger
Steggink (Madrid: BAC, 1967).
11. See letter to Gracian, February 21, 1581, in The Letters of St.
Teresa, trans. E. Allison Peers (Westminster, Maryland: New-
man Press, 1950).
12. See On Making the Visitation, no. 15.
13. Feb. 21, 1581.
14. Nov. 19, 1576.
15. See Letters, Feb. 21, 1581.
16. See ibid., Feb. 27, 1581.
17. See BMC, 6:422.
18. See Santa Teresa de fesus, C amino de Perfeccion, Constituciones,
Modo de Visitar Los Conventos, ed. Tomas de la Cruz Alvarez
(Burgos: El Monte Carmelo, 1966), pp. 280-281.
19. Tomas Alvarez (ibid.) holds that the ideological and normative
content of the work continues to be authentically Teresian. Otilio
Rodriguez in a detailed study concludes that the constitutions of
Alcala represent the final wish of the Mother Foundress. See "El
Testamento Teresiano" in El Monte Carmelo 78(1970), p. 73.
Fortunato Antolin in another detailed analysis of the constitu-
tions of Alcala doubts whether we can speak of a work in collabo-
ration and concludes that it may not be very far from the truth to
Notes — The Constitutions
445
think that the impression made on Teresa and her nuns by these
new constitutions was a somewhat unfavorable one. See "Obser-
vaciones sobre las Constituciones de las Carmelitas Descalzas,
promulgadas en Alcala de Henares 1581" in Ephemerides
Carmeliticae 24 (1973), p. 373.
20. Escritos de Santa Teresa, vol. 1, pp. 251-267.
THE CONSTITUTIONS
1 . Winter and summer are considered the equivalents of the times of
fasting and non-fasting. Cf. no. 11.
2. The Spanish word Pascua would also refer to Christmas and
Pentecost.
3. This form of chanting in unison rather than in Gregorian chant
was in use also by other religious orders at the time.
4. The practice of reciting Vespers before the noonday meal during
Lent lasted until the reform of the Breviary and Missal that went
into effect July 25, 1960, and in which it was prescribed that
Vespers be said later.
5. Fr. Gracian gave the following explanation: "This means that one
hour in all is spent on Vespers and the reading, even when Vespers
is chanted. See MHCT, 1:316.
6. See Rule of St. Albert, eds. H. Clarke, O. Carm. and Bede Ed-
wards, O.C.D. (Aylesford: Carmelite Priory, 1973), p. 91: "For
this reason I lay down that you are to keep silence from after Com-
pline until after Prime the next day. At other times, although you
need not keep silence so strictly, be careful not to indulge in a
great deal of talk."
7. These are but examples of the good books to which she is refer-
ring. The Carthusian is Ludolf of Saxony (d. 1370) whose four-
volume life of Christ was translated into Spanish by the Franciscan
Ambrosio Montesinos (Alcala 1502-1503). The Flos Sanctorum is a
collection of lives of the saints. One collection was printed in Za-
ragosa in 1556, and another, by Martm de Lilio, in Alcala in
1566. The Imitation of Christ, referred to by Teresa as the Con-
temptus Mundi, is attributed to Thomas A'Kempis and existed in
Spanish translations from 1491. The Oratory of Religious by the
Franciscan Antonio Guevara was printed for the first time in Val-
ladolid in 1542. Various works by the Dominican Luis de Gra-
nada had been published when Teresa wrote her constitutions.
Those she probably has in mind are: The Book of Prayer and
Meditation (Salamanca 1554); The Sinners' Guide (Lisbon 1556);
and The Memorial of The Christian Life (Lisbon 1565). The
446
St. Teresa of Avila
books by St. Peter of Alcantara of whom she speaks in her Life
(ch. 30, no. 2) as the author of some small books on prayer would
probably include The Treatise on Prayer and Meditation (Lisbon
1556).
8. "Each one of you is to stay in his own cell or nearby, pondering the
Lord's law day and night and keeping watch at his prayers unless
attending to some other duty." See Rule of St. Albert, p. 83.
9. In some monasteries of the order the nuns gathered together in a
specified room for their manual work. Teresa preferred that the
nuns work in solitude. See Way of Perfection, ch. 4, no. 9
10. In 1568, Teresa founded a monastery in Malagon that was en-
dowed with an income. And in 1576, Gracian ordained that in
towns where the nuns could not be sustained through alms an in-
come would be permissible. See MHCT, 1:316.
11. Cf. Ac. 20:34.
12. With this constitution, Teresa rendered ineffective for her dis-
calced nuns the briefs that authorized for the order a mitigation
of the fast and abstinence. The Rule of St. Albert (p. 87) reads:
"You are to fast every day, except Sundays, from the feast of the
Exaltation of the Holy Cross until Easter Day, unless bodily
sickness or feebleness, or some other good reason, demand a
dispensation from the fast; for necessity overrides every law." In
1432 Pope Eugene IV mitigated the abstinence by allowing meat
to be eaten three days a week, except in Advent and Lent.
13. This was a custom in a number of religious orders at the time.
14. Before the Council of Trent, nuns sometimes had the Blessed Sac-
rament reserved in the choir or inside the enclosure, and they
themselves took care of cleaning and decorating. At other times,
the Blessed Sacrament was reserved in the church, or chapel, and
the Sisters went out into the church to care for it. This is what
Teresa is referring to here. In De Sacris Virginibus, December 30,
1572, Gregory XIII, forbade the Religious to go outside the en-
closure to enter the church. And the Council of Trent had pro-
hibited the reservation of the Blessed Sacrament in the choir or
inside the enclosure (Session 25, De Reformatione, ch. 10).
15. Here Teresa reacts against the prevailing practice of limiting vis-
its for novices.
16. "None of the brothers must lay claim to anything as his own, but
you are to possess everything in common; and each is to receive
from the Prior— that is from the brother he appoints for the pur-
pose—whatever befits his age and needs." See Rule of St. Albert,
p. 85.
Notes— The Constitutions
447
17. Cf. Rule of St. Albert, pp. 89-90 and 2Th. 3:8-12.
18. In no. 7.
19. Seejn. 15:12,17.
20. A title for nobility.
21. These were the hermits on Mt. Carmel to whom she alludes in
other works. See Way of Perfection, ch. 4, no. 4; Interior Castle,
V, ch.l, no. 2; Foundations, ch. 14, nos. 4,5.
22. A book of rubrics for the divine service that was in use in the Car-
melite Order.
23. In no. 30.
24. Teresa did not compose the next part of her constitutions, in-
cluded in this note (with the standard numbering), but took it all
from the constitutions of the monastery of the Incarnation. Such
penal codes were characteristic of monastic constitutions in those
times. Since vows were considered solemn and final and many
were in Religious life without the desire to be there, greater provi-
sion had to be made in the law for both preserving the community
peace and dealing with troublemakers— sometimes even with
crime:
On The Chapter of Grave Faults
43. The chapter of grave faults, in which according to the rule
the faults of the Sisters must be corrected with charity, should
take place once a week. It should always be held while the nuns
are fasting. Thus when the signal is given and all have come
together in the chapter room, the Sister who has the office of
reader, when given a sign by the prioress or presider, should read
from these constitutions and the rule. The reader should say: Jube
Domne benedicere, and the presider respond: Regularibus dis-
ciplinis nos instruere digneris Magister Celestis. They will answer:
amen. Then, if it should seem opportune to the Mother prioress
to mention some things briefly about the reading or the correc-
tion of the Sisters before beginning with the latter, she should say:
Benedicite, and the Sisters should respond: Dominus, and pros-
trate until they are told to rise. When they have risen they should
return to their seats. Beginning with the novices and lay Sisters,
followed by the older nuns, the Sisters should come to the middle
of the choir, two by two, and tell their manifest faults and negli-
gences to the presider. First the lay Sisters and novices may be dis-
missed, as well as those who do not have a place or voice in the
chapter. The Sisters should not speak in chapter except for two
448
St. Teresa of Avila
reasons: to tell simply their own faults and those of their Sisters
and to respond to the questions of the presider. And anyone who
is accused should be on her guard lest she accuse another solely
out of suspicion. If anyone does this, she should receive the very
punishment that goes with the crime about which she made the
accusation. And the same goes for anyone making an accusation
about a fault for which satisfaction has already been made. But so
that vices and defects may not be hidden, a Sister may tell the
Mother prioress or visitator that which she saw or heard.
44. She should likewise be punished who says something falsely
about another. And she should also be obliged to restore, in so far
as possible, the good name of the one whose reputation was harmed.
And the one who is accused should not respond unless ordered to
do so, and then should do so humbly, saying: Benedicite. And if
she answers impatiently, she should then receive a heavier pen-
alty, according to the discretion of the presider. The punishment
should be given after the anger has subsided.
45. Let the Sisters be on their guard against divulging or publi-
cizing the decrees and secrets of any chapter. No Sister should
repeat outside in a critical manner any of those things that the
Mother may punish or define in chapter, for this gives rise to
discord and takes away the peace of the community, and factions
are formed, and the office of superiors is usurped.
46. The Mother prioress, or presider, with zealous charity and
a love of justice and without feigning ignorance, should correct
the faults — and may do so legitimately— which are clearly found
to exist, or which are confessed, in conformity with what has been
stated here.
47. The Mother may mitigate or shorten the penalty due a fault
that was not committed out of malice, at least for the first, second,
or third time. But those who are found to be troublesome out of
malicious cunning or from a vicious habit should have their fixed
penalties augmented, and these should not be omitted or relaxed
without permission from the visitator. And those who are in the
habit of committing a light fault should be given a penance fit for
a more serious fault. The same goes for the others; the fixed pen-
alties should also be augmented if the fault is habitual.
48. Once the faults have been heard or corrected, they should
say the psalms Miserere mei and Deus misereatur as the Ordinary
prescribes. And when the chapter is finished the presider should
say: Sit nomen Domini benedictum. The community should re-
spond: Ex hoc nunc et usque in saecula.
Notes— The Constitutions
449
On the Light Fault
49. It is a light fault:
If anyone, when the sign is given, should delay in preparing
with due haste or promptness to go to the choir in a
composed and orderly way and at the proper time.
If anyone should enter after the Office has begun, or read
or sing badly, or make a mistake and not at once humble
herself before all.
If anyone is not ready to do the reading at the established
time.
If anyone through negligence does not have the book from
which she must pray.
If anyone should laugh in choir or make others laugh.
If anyone should come late for the divine office or for work.
If anyone should make light of or not duly observe the ru-
brics on prostrations, bows, and other ceremonies.
If anyone should cause some disturbance or noise in the
choir, or in the dormitory, or in the cells.
If anyone should come late for chapter, the refectory, or
work.
If anyone should speak or act idly or become engaged in
idle occupations.
If anyone without restraint make some noise.
If anyone should be negligent in the use of books, clothes,
or other things belonging to the monastery, or should
break them, or should lose some of the things that are
used in taking care of the house.
If anyone should eat or drink without permission.
Those who are accused or who accuse themselves of these and
similar faults, should be given a penance: prayer or prayers
according to the quality of the faults, or also some humble work,
or some special time of silence (because of having broken the
silence observed in the order), or abstinence from some food in
some collation or meal.
On the Medium Fault
50. It is a medium fault:
If anyone arrives in choir after the first psalm has been
said. And when they arrive late, they should prostrate
until the Mother prioress tells them to rise.
450
St. Teresa of Avila
If anyone should presume to sing or read in a way different
from that which is in use.
If anyone, while not being attentive with lowered eyes to
the Divine Office, should show levity of mind.
If anyone should handle the altar vessels irreverently.
If anyone should not come to chapter or work or a sermon,
or should fail to be present at the common meal
If anyone should knowingly fail to observe a common
precept.
If anyone should be found negligent in an assigned task.
If anyone should speak in chapter without permission.
If anyone while being accused should make noise.
If anyone should presume to accuse another, on the same
day, of the very fault she was accused of and thereby get
revenge.
If anyone should be disorderly in gesture or dress.
If anyone should swear or speak in a disorderly way, or
what is more serious should do so habitually.
If anyone should quarrel with another or say something by
which the Sisters may be offended.
If anyone when asked should deny pardon to the one who
offended her.
If anyone should enter the house offices or work rooms
without permission.
Anyone accused of the above mentioned or similar faults
should be corrected in chapter by a discipline. This should be ad-
ministered by the prioress or by someone she appoints. The ac-
cuser of the fault should not be the one to administer the penance,
nor should the younger nuns administer it to the older ones.
On the Grave Fault
51. It is a grave fault:
If anyone quarrels with another in an unbecoming
manner.
If anyone should be found using abusive language, cursing,
or uttering unruly and irreligious words in having
become angry with another.
If anyone should swear or speak in an abusive way about
the past fault of a Sister for which she has made satisfac-
tion or about her natural defects or those of her parents.
If anyone should defend her own fault or that of another.
Notes — The Constitutions
451
If anyone should be found to have purposely told lies.
If anyone should fail habitually to keep silence.
If someone at work or elsewhere should recount news from
the world.
If anyone should break the fasts of the order or especially
those instituted by the Church without cause or per-
mission.
If anyone should take something from a Sister or from the
community.
If anyone should change the cell or clothing that was given
for her use or exchange these with another.
If anyone during the time for sleeping, or at another time,
should enter the cell of another without permission, or
without evident necessity.
If anyone should be found at the turn, or in the parlor, or
wherever persons from outside are, without permission
from the Mother prioress.
If a Sister in an angry spirit should threaten the person of
another.
If she should raise her hand or anything else so as to hurt
her, the punishment for a severe fault should be doubled.
Those who seek pardon for faults of this kind, or who are not
accused, should be given two disciplines in chapter, fast twice on
bread and water and, in the presence of the community, eat in the
last place in the refectory without a table or setting for it. But for
those who are accused a discipline should be added as well as a
day on bread and water.
On the Graver Fault
52. It is a graver fault:
If anyone should be in the habit of quarreling, being rebel-
lious, or speaking discourteously to the Mother prioress
or the presider.
If anyone should with malice do harm to a Sister. (And by
the same fact such a one incurs excommunication and
must be avoided by all.)
If anyone should be found sowing discord among the Sis-
ters, or habitually gossiping about or slandering them
in secret.
If anyone without permission from the Mother prioress, or
without a companion who, as a witness, may hear her
452
St. Teresa of Avila
clearly, should dare to speak with those outside the
community.
If the one accused of faults like these is convicted, she should
immediately prostrate herself, piously asking for pardon, and
bare her shoulders so as to receive the sentence worthy of her
merits, which is a discipline, when the Mother prioress thinks it
fitting. And when told to arise, she should go to the cell
designated for her by the Mother prioress. And no one should
dare approach her, or speak to her, or send her anything, so that
she might thus know that she has been mistaken and is being
isolated from the community and being deprived of the company
of the angels. And during the time in which she is doing penance,
she should not receive Communion, nor should she be assigned
any office, nor should any obedience be given her, nor should she
be ordered to do anything; rather she should be deprived of any
office she held. Nor should she have any voice or place in chapter,
except with respect to her accusation. She should take the last
place until she has made full and complete satisfaction. She
should not be seated with others in the refectory but sit in the mid-
dle of the refectory clothed in her mantle. And on the bare floor
she should eat bread and water, unless out of compassion
something be given her by the Mother prioress. The latter should
act mercifully toward her and send some Sister to her to console
her. If she should show humility of heart, the whole community
should support and help her in her good intentions, and the
Mother prioress should not be opposed to showing compassion,
sooner or later, more or less, as the offense committed requires.
If anyone should openly rise up in rebellion against the Mother
prioress or against superiors, or should imagine or do something
illicit or unbecoming against them, she should do penance as
mentioned above for forty days and be deprived of her voice and
place in chapter and of any office she may have held. And if
through a conspiracy in this regard, or a malicious agreement,
secular persons should become involved to the confusion, dis-
grace, and harm of the Sisters in the monastery, she should be put
in the prison cell, and according to the gravity of the scandal that
follows be detained. And if on account of this factions or divisions
should arise in the community, both those who cause them and
those who foster them equally incur excommunication and
should be imprisoned.
53. If anyone, by alleging that the superiors have proceeded
out of hatred or favoritism, or similar things, should seek to
Notes — The Constitutions
453
hinder the curbing or correcting of excesses, she should be
punished with the same punishment as that mentioned above for
those who conspire against the Mother prioress.
54. And if any Sister should dare receive or give any letters, or
read them, or should send anything outside or keep anything for
herself that has been given her, without permission of the Mother
prioress, that Sister, through whose deeds someone in the world
likewise is scandalized, in addition to the punishment mentioned
in the constitutions, should at the time of the canonical hours and
the prayers of thanksgiving after meals lie prostrate at the en-
trance to the church as the Sisters pass by.
On the Gravest Fault
55. A most grave fault is the incorrigibility of that nun who
does not fear to commit faults and refuses to undergo the
penance.
If anyone is an apostate or goes beyond the boundaries of the
monastery and by this incurs the censure of excommunication.
And it is a most grave fault if anyone is disobedient or, through
manifest rebellion, does not obey a precept given by a prelate or
superior to her in particular or to all in general.
It is a most grave fault if anyone (may God forbid who is the
strength of those who hope in Him) should fall into a sin of sensu-
ality and be convicted of it (that is, seriously suspected of it).
If anyone should own property, or confess to this, and be found
to have ownership at the time of death, she must not be given a
Church burial.
If anyone should lay violent hands on the Mother prioress or on
any other Sister, or reveal to others in some way a crime committed
by any of the Sisters or by the community, or the secrets of the
community, to secular persons, or strangers, whereby the Sister in
the community may suffer the loss of her good name.
If anyone by herself or through others should try to obtain some
position or office or should act contrary to the constitutions of the
religious order, such a Sister should be put in the prison, or fast
and abstain in the place where she is, in a greater or less degree
according to the quantity and quality of the offense and accord-
ing to the discretion of the Mother prioress or of the visitator of
the Sisters. Any of these Sisters, under pain of rebellion, should be
brought immediately to the prison cell as the Mother prioress or-
ders. No Sister should speak to anyone who is imprisoned but only
454
St. Teresa of Avila
to the guards, nor may she, under penalty of the same punish-
ment, send such a one anything. If anyone should get out of the
prison, the Sister who was in charge of her, or the one who is re-
sponsible for her getting out, if convicted, should be put in the
same prison cell and punished in accordance with the offenses of
the nun who was imprisoned.
56. There should be a prison cell set aside where nuns such as
these may be held, and no one who is there for these scandalous
reasons may be set free except by the visitator. The apostate nun
should be kept indefinitely in the prison as well as she who falls in-
to the sin of the flesh and she who commits a crime that in the
world would merit the death penalty; also those who do not want
to be humble or recognize their fault, unless their patience and
amendment is proved during this time to such an extent that with
the counsel of all those who intercede for them they may merit,
with the consent of the Mother prioress and through the visitator,
to be freed from the prison. And anyone who has been in prison
will know that she has lost active and passive voice and the place
that goes with it. And she will be deprived of every legitimate act
and every office, for although she is freed from the prison, the
above mentioned are not for that reason restored, unless this
favor is explicitly granted her. And even if her place is restored to
her, not by that fact is her voice in chapter restored. And if active
voice is given, this does not mean that she is given passive voice,
unless, as was said, this is expressly given her. Nonetheless, the
one who has fallen into those faults that were mentioned may not
be exonerated to the point that she may be elected to any office,
nor may she accompany the Sisters at the turn, or anywhere else.
If a Sister has fallen into the sin of sensuality, even though she is
repentant and comes back asking for mercy and pardon, she
should in no way be taken back, unless there is some intervening
reasonable cause to do so, with the counsel of the visitator as to
how she is to be received back.
If anyone is convicted in the presence of the prioress of having
borne false witness, or should be in the habit of slander, she should
do her penance in this way: at meal time, without a mantle, wear-
ing a scapular, on which will be sewn, on the front and back, two
pieces of red and white cloth in the shape of tongues, she should eat
bread and water on the floor in the middle of the refectory as a sign
that she is being punished in this way for the great vice of her
tongue; and afterward she should be imprisoned. And if at some
time she is freed from the prison, she should have no voice or place.
Notes — Visitation
455
And if the prioress, which God forbid, should fall into some of
these faults, she should be deposed at once so that she may be
severely punished.
25. In the disciplines (scourgings) that the Sisters administered to
themselves, knotted cords were used. This form of corporal pen-
ance was common in those times. Cf. Way of Perfection, ch. 3,
no. 10; ch. 4, no. 2.
ON MAKING THE VISITATION
1. Cf. no. 2.
2. Not in her Carmels. To avoid misinterpretation, Gracian emen-
ded the text to read: "that are not the practice now ..."
3. In no. 2.
4. In those having an income (no. 10) and in those founded in pov-
erty (no. 8).
5 . She is perhaps referring to the A cts of the apostolic visitator Pedro
Fernandez, O.P., given for Carmelites of both groups in 1571.
6. She had received orders from the general chapter of Piacenza
(1575) not to go out to make new foundations (cf. Foundations,
ch. 27, no. 20; Letter to Maria Bautista, Dec. 30, 1575).
7. In no. 16.
8. "This is very important" was added in the margin by Teresa. Cf.
her letter to Gracian, Nov. 19, 1576.
9. In nos. 3-4.
10. In no. 32.
11. See Constitutions, no. 10.
12. In nos. 10-11.
13. In no. 32.
14. In nos. 3-4.
15. Reference to Fr. Gracian who was then provincial. See also nos.
46, 49, 54, 55.
16. In no. 15.
17. In no. 52.
18. Teresa here concludes her series of counsels or suggestions. A kind
of epilogue in the form of a note to Fr. Gracian follows.
19. During the months of October and November, under orders from
Fr. Gracian, she wrote chapters 21-27 of her Foundations.
20. She is referring to the visitations made among the Carmelites of
the observance.
21. She is probably referring to those for which she asked in no. 54.
456
St. Teresa of Avila
A SATIRICAL CRITIQUE
1. Ps. 85:9.
2. Allusion to Jn. 20:11-18; 4:7-42; Mt. 15:21-28; Mk. 7:24-30.
3. After his return from the Indies, her brother Lorenzo lived in Avila
and remained in close contact with the community of St. Joseph's.
4. In nos. 5 and 6.
RESPONSE TO A CHALLENGE
1. In the manuscript a note is added at this place: "Here ends page 2
of the original, and the text passes on to page 8. Thus it may be
surmised that a large number of nuns, after the example of their
superior, Teresa of Jesus, took part in this spiritual challenge."
2. She in fact died in May of 1574 according to a letter of Teresa's to
Maria Bautista, May 14, 1574.
3. This knight-errant is believed to be St. John of the Cross who had
been confessor to the community at the Incarnation since May of
1572.
POETRY
1. See A. Custodio Vega, La Poesia de Santa Teresa (Madrid: BAC,
1975); Victor G. de la Concha, El arte literario de Santa Teresa
(Barcelona: Ariel, 1978).
2. See Tomas de la Cruz (Alvarez), "Nuevos autographos
teresianos," in Ephemerides Carmeliticae , 21 (1970), pp. 409-27;
Id., "Nuevos autografos poeticos de Santa Teresa," en Ephemer-
ides Carmeliticae, 24 (1973), pp. 414-27.
3. Teresa de Jesus, Obras Completas, texto revisado y anotado por
Tomas de la Cruz, 2a edicion (Burgos: Monte Carmelo, 1977).
Index
Abandoned to spiritual suffering
110
Abandonment: remedy in weakness,
269
Absorption 418; can be waste of
time, 130; differs from, or mimics
rapture, 32, 135; if lengthy, risky
or suspect, 124, 126; not always
union, 122, 124
Abuse: child, 236-38; possible con-
sequence of, 433
Academic reform in Teresa's time
21
Accidents 226, 227, 292
Account of prayer 331
Accuracy of dates 233, 428, 429, 430
Act of Supremacy 83
Active life and prayer 116-23
Acts 315, 316, 341, 455
Acufia, Maria de 37, 148, 149
Adrian VI 83
Advent 165, 292, 333, 446
Advise see Mistress of Novices;
Prioress
Affliction of soul 102; caused by
melancholy, 139; see Devil; Trials
Age: no cowardice 269; has fewer
needs, 326
Agnes, St. 238
Aguiar, Antonio 41, 45, 300, 301,
302, 443
Aguila, Antonia del 368
Agustin de los Reyes 76
Ahumada, Agustin 84, 85
Ahumada, Antonio de 84, 441
Ahumada, Beatriz de 83
Ahumada, Hernando de 83, 86
Ahumada, Juana de 76, 85
Alba de Tormes 4, 6, 8, 20, 39,
40, 50, 75, 76, 78, 81, 85, 88, 90,
91, 93, 113, 197, 199, 200, 201,
205, 428
Alba, duke of 90, 197, 423, 428
Alba, duchess of 50, 62, 200
Albert of Jerusalem, St. 15, 18,
24, 320
Alberta Bautista 75, 418
Albino 50
Alcala de Henares 31, 34, 62, 63,
70, 87, 91, 217, 259, 278, 313,
317, 420, 422, 440, 442, 443, 445
Alerio, John 415
Alexander VI 21
All Saints 186, 192, 193, 197
All Souls 194, 427
Allegory see FIGURES OF SPEECH
Almendral 73
Alminuete 425
Almodovar del Campo 63, 69, 89,
90, 316, 422, 435
Alms are to support nuns 321; see
Benefactors; Income; Poverty
Alonso de Jesus Maria 336
Alonso, Juan 288
Altomira 63, 422
Alumbrados 57
Alvarez, Alonso 42, 170, 171, 175
Alvarez, Baltasar 85, 106, 269,
416, 421
Alvarez, Catalina 367
Alvarez, Rodrigo 57, 89
Alvarez, Tomas 318, 372, 373, 444
457
458
St. Teresa of Avila
Ambrosio de San Pedro 435
America 84, 89, 432
Ana de Jesus (Jimena) 14, 204,
428
Ana de Jesus (Lobera) 34, 79, 91,
318, 372, 429
Ana de la Encarnacion (Tapia) 372
416
Ana de la Madre de Dios (Palma)
176, 424
Ana de la Miseria 366
Ana de los Angeles 416
Ana de San Alberto (Salcedo) 89,
431, 434
Ana de San Agustin 437
Ana de San Bartolome (Blessed
Anne of St. Bartholomew) 73, 74,
75, 78, 438, 440, 442
Ana de San Juan (Davila) 86
Anagogical acts 125, 126
Analogy see FIGURES OF SPEECH
Ancestry: in order to be recalled 279
Andalusia 58, 59, 60, 61, 63-69, 75,
87, 223, 230, 250, 431, 436
Andes Mountains 85
Andrada 44, 171
Andrada, Alonso 424
Andres de la Encarnacion 373
Andrew, St. 200, 201, 397, 398
Angel de San Gabriel 430
Angels 12; less to be relied on than
confessors, 141
Anger: indicates false virtue or de-
sires 133
Anne, St. 237, 253, 264, 265, 267
Annual visitation 338
Annunciation (Our Lady's feast)
423
Ant: and similar words see FIG-
URES OF SPEECH
Antolin, Fortunato 318, 444
Antonia del Espiritu Santo 420, 422
Antonio de Jesus (Heredia) 35, 69,
74, 75, 77, 78, 90, 91, 107, 108,
109, 160, 161, 162, 164, 165, 167,
184, 221, 252, 254-56, 266, 318,
416, 426
Antonio de San Jose 364
Antwerp (Belgium) 444
Anxiety: of longing for God 384
Aponte, Beatriz de 428
Apostles 15, 28, 210
Apostolic Visitator see Visitator;
Gracian
Apparitions see Visions
Appreciation: a necessity 340
Aragon 36, 71
Arevalo 107
Arias, Isabel 417
Armentia, Prudencio 439
Arroyo 422
Asceticism: in spirituality of reform
21
Assistance: intercommunity 41
Audet, Nicholas 58, 59
Augustinian 11, 21, 30, 78, 107,
108
Austerity 21, 23, 29-35, 430
Avignon 14
Avila 23, 73-76, 83-91, 93, 103,
106, 107, 161, 185, 204, 226,
235, 243, 244, 268, 289, 308,
309, 312, 314, 317, 357, 415,
416, 419, 422, 423, 427, 433,
441, 443, 455
Avila, Alonso de 172
Avila, Julian de 43, 49, 106, 146,
161, 162, 195, 205, 224, 242,
243, 357, 360, 372, 413, 416,
420, 428, 429, 432; had vocation
to assist with foundations, 206
Avila, Luisa de 434
Badajoz 431
Baeza 34
Baltasar de Jesus (Nieto) 184, 426,
431, 435, 437
Banda, Pedro de la 427
Banez, Domingo 31, 32, 39, 80,
108, 153, 197, 417, 419, 420,
421, 427, 430
Baptism of Teresa 83
Barbaciani, St. (feast) 264
Barbara del Espiritu Santo 430
Barcelona 59, 71, 415, 416
Index
459
Bari (Italy) 425
Barron, Vicente 84, 425
Bartholomew, St. (feast) 285
Basil, St. 15, 425
Basilians 291
Baza 429
Beamonte, Beatriz 50, 281, 284
439, 440
Beamonte, Frances de 281
Beas4, 40, 64, 65, 81, 93, 207, 212,
215, 217, 222, 223, 229, 241-43,
247, 428, 429, 431, 432, 434
Beata 26, 437
Beaterio 18
Beatriz de Cristo 439
Beatriz de Jesus Maria 440
Beatriz de la Encarnacion 8, 11,
81, 156-60, 422
Beatriz de la Madre de Dios 8, 9,
81, 236-41, 432, 433, 434
Becedas 52, 84
Begging: to be last resort 321
Beginning: we are always 279
Benedictine 21
Benefactor (s): astride mule responds
immediately, 277; to be remem-
bered perpetually, 233, 243, 272,
276, 285, 298; of particular assis-
tance in beginning, 206, 221; pray
each evening for, 327
Benefit: personal, not sought 97
Benevente, count of 427
Bernardines 129
Berthold, St. 15
Bethlehem 165
Betrothal: spiritual of Teresa 85
Biblioteca Nacional de Madrid
364, 373
Bishop (archbishop) see Carranza;
Mendoza, Alvaro de; Rojas y San-
doval; Vela, Cristobal; Velazquez,
Alonso
Bitonto (Italy) 425
Black Plague 21
Blaise, St (feast) 147
Blessed Virgin see Mary
Blindness of soul see Devil
Body, weakness of: masks as absorp-
tion 125
Boggiano (Italy) 425
Bollandist 15
Boniface VIII 24
Book of Prayer and Meditation
445
Borgia, Francis, St. 85, 426
Borrowing money 271, 289; see
also Debts
Bravery: fruit of determination 3;
see Courage
Brussels 79, 430
Buendia, count of 37, 148
Buildings see Poverty
Bulls: coralled during T's arrival 108
Buonarroti, Michelangelo 86
Buoncompagni, Filippo 436
Burgo de Osma see Osma
Burgos 4, 6, 7, 13, 25, 28, 41, 45,
46, 49, 50, 73, 74, 79, 81, 91, 93,
268, 269, 286-90, 292, 293, 295;
302, 415, 440-42
Burial of nuns 329
Business matters 39, 163, 230, 252,
284; carried on while ill, 294;
conducted by elder portress, 331;
kept secret, 299
Bustamente, Bartolome 430
Cadiz 71
Calabria 15
Calahorra 442
Call see Vocation
Callistus III 61
Calm(ness) of soul see Soul
Canaanite woman 361
Calumnies against Teresa 249
Calvary 378
Calvin, John 84, 86
Camarasa 147
Canary Islands 286, 287, 441
Capital punishment 157
Caravaca 4, 40, 81, 89, 93, 217,
460
St. Teresa of Avila
223, 229, 241-43, 335, 428, 430,
434, 435
Cardenas, Diego 69, 433
Cardona 258, 262
Cardona, Catalina de 8, 9, 29,
30, 31, 81, 258-64, 437
Carlos, Don 437
Carmel see Monastery
Carmelite(s) 14-16, 18, 58, 60, 61,
237, 243, 267, 314, 315, 412, 415,
422, 425, 426, 432, 436, 437, 439,
440, 446, 455
discalced (Teresian, contempla-
tive, primitive): friars, 59, 60,
63-65, 67, 69, 72, 73, 96, 160,
164, 223, 224, 238, 244, 251,
252, 261, 264, 278, 279, 313,
316, 318, 416, 420, 422, 425,
431, 435, 436, 438, 440, 455;
nuns, 4, 24, 29, 51, 56, 65, 73,
97, 223, 234, 251, 252, 257,
281, 311-13, 315, 316, 335,
336, 358, 363, 373, 386, 387,
389, 396, 397, 407, 421, 422,
424, 427, 429, 431, 432, 436-
38, 441, 442, 455
observant (calced, of the cloth):
4, 20, 58, 61-66, 68, 69, 71, 72,
86, 88, 90, 251-53, 267, 278,
279, 311, 312, 314, 417, 419,
420, 422, 431, 433, 436, 440,
455
Carranza, Bartolome de 423
Carrera, Francisco de la 440
Cartagena 431
Carthusian(s) 9, 112, 233, 433, 445
Casilda de San Angelo 442
Castile (Castilian) 26, 35, 36, 40, 45
48, 58, 59, 63-66, 68, 69, 72, 79,
89, 148, 149, 170, 225, 253, 312,
415, 416, 431, 434-36, 442
Castellanos de la Canada 83, 84
Castillo, Hernando del 436
Castro, Vaca de 84
Catalina, St. 400
Catalina de Cristo 440
Catalina de Jesus see Godinez,
Catalina
Catalina de Jesus 442
Catalina de la Asuncion 442
Catalina del Espiritu Santo 439, 440
Catalonia 66, 430
Cathedral Chapter 44
Catholics 86
Celis, Lucas de 423
Centering attention of mind on
God 381
Cepeda, Francisco de 74, 431
Cepeda, Francisco (Lorenzo's son)
432, 438
Cepeda, Jeronimo de 84, 85
Cepeda, Lorenzo de 6, 24, 29, 39,
66, 73, 84, 85, 89, 90, 230-33,
357, 358, 361, 372, 414, 432, 435,
438, 456
Cepeda, Lorenzo de (Lorenzo's son)
432
Cepeda, Maria de 83
Cepeda, Pedro de 432
Cepeda, Rodrigo de 83, 85
Cepeda, Teresita de 431
Cerda, Luisa de la 412, 419, 420,
424, 430, 432
Ceremonies see Processions; Sacra-
ments
Cetina, Diego de 85
Cetina, Francisco 440
Chacon 440
Chair of St. Peter (feast) 264
Chaplaincy 267, 423
Chapter of faults 189, 314, 427,
447-54
Charity: based on love of God and
knowledge of self 1 18; of city merits
its reputation, 291; in granting
dispensations, 329; like that in
early church, 277
Charles V 21, 22, 44, 85, 420, 437,
443
Index
461
Children: cause of parents' eternal
joy, or pain, 198; praying to have,
199
Chile 84, 85
CHRIST
Spontaneous prayers of Teresa to:
149, 210
Actions of: promises to be at nuns'
deathbed, 177; is the one who
made foundations, 163; aids one
to be obedient, 121
Humanity of: 387, 390; devotional
images of, 47, 171; humility in
Sacrament, 111; infancy of,
387, 393; influenced by sorrow,
123; relations with: compan-
ionship, 160
Titles given to: the Beloved, 395;
our Brother, 157; Lord, through-
out; Shepherd, 388; Son of our
(Sov. God), 387; Sovereign God,
387; the Spouse, 305, 320, 328,
359
Christian(s) 56
Christian instruction 101
Christmas 357, 389
Church 3, 97, 101, 315
Cimbron, Maria 367
Circa pastoralis 25
Circumcision (feast) 391, 392
Cisneros Jimenez, Francisco de 21
Cistercian 21
Ciudad Real 419
Civic opposition to foundations 174
Clare, St. 24, 28, 86
Clement VII 83
Clocks, excess of 164
Cloister see Enclosure
Cobos, Francisco de los44, 147, 420
Coello, Sanchez 425
Colombia 87
Cologne 427
Comfort: no aid to interiority 164;
from God, 384
Command to write 96
Commissary see Gracian
Community of religious: size of, 103;
women longing to become, 266
Companion (company) see CHRIST
Compassion: maternal for ill 138;
visitator to show, 338
Complain see TERESA
Compunction see Tears
Conception (Hospital) 297
Concern for human needs 99
Concha, Victor de la 372
Confessor (s) 3, 95, 96, 130; compan-
ion when— visits sick, 323; decision
prevails, 180; differ on same issue,
128; need to be learned men, 192;
obeyed — against reasonableness,
254; on visions, 139, 141; and
visitator, 341; see also TERESA
Confidence: lack of, 110, 269; prayer
of— gains cure, 216, 325; reward
for, 105; waned most just before fa-
vor received, 323; visitator and, 341
Conformity 366
Conscience: matters of 323; purity
of, 113
Consolation(s) 101, 104, 131, 174,
386, 395; excessive at meeting
Gracian, 222
Constanza de la Cruz 437
Constitution see Body
Constitutions 13, 86, 144, 311-18,
319, 332, 344, 345, 348-51, 414,
453
Constitutions for friars 222, 430
Constitutions of Alcald 317, 318
Contemplation 174, 361
Contemplative(s) see Carmelites;
Nuns
Contemptus Mundi 445
Contentment: contrary to nature
120; found in God, 381
Contreras, Leonor de 367
Contrition: desired 367
Convents see Monasteries
Conventuals 21, 23
Conversation 101; only to speak of
God's favors, 122
462
St. Teresa of Avila
Conversion of St. Paul (feast) 203,
293
Conversion of souls at time of ex-
ecution 157
Cooney, Adrian J. 373, 374
Cordoba 71, 226, 228, 425, 430, 431
Cordula, St. 427
Correction: mutual — of faults 328
Council of Trent 22, 23, 25, 33, 39,
48, 61, 84, 86, 144, 182, 184, 197,
227, 287, 316, 420, 425, 427, 431,
441, 446
Courage 101, 105
Creator 126, 198, 360; being one
with, 380
Creature(s): can be rejoiced in 126;
renounced for God, 381
Cremona (Italy) 440
Cribelli, Alexander 25
Cross (feast of the Holy) 158, 322
Cross, the 394, 395; many crosses
and skulls, 166
Cucumber incident 100
Cuellar, Francisca de 434
Cuenco 436
Cuerva 424, 433
Cueva, Maria de la 367
Cuevas, Francisco de 298, 443
Cuevas, Juan de las 318
Cuevas, Santa Maria de las 233,
234
Cultural influence 97, 148, 149
Cum nulla 18
Cure of Teresa 84
Custom(s): hurtful — should not be
started, 129; marriage, 148, 149;
terrible things, 338
Cyril, St. (College of) 278
Daughters rather than sons 198
David, King 57, 249, 268, 271, 379,
437
Davila, Gil Gonzalez 416
Davila, Hernando 424
Day see Judgment
Daze: to be avoided 126
Death (dying): desiring, 382; die,
because I do not die, 375; of ex-
emplary nuns, 158-60; may follow
false absorption, 124; is gain, 383;
grace of happy, 367; with peace,
245, 329; promise of Our Lord's
presence, 177; welcome with calm
and joy, 177, 178
Deception 96, 97, 114
Decori 25
Deeds (doing) 101, 116, 117
Delight 99, 124; see also Joy
Delirious activity of faculties 125
Denia, marquis of 431
Deo sacris 25
Depression 110; see also Trials
Descalzas Reales, Las 88, 425
Desire 3, 95, 104, 115, 245; affected
by genuine vision, 200; compen-
sates for absence of virtue, 122;
to help souls, 101; kindled and
strengthened by favors, 264
Detachment 99, 115, 248
Determination 100; engenders love,
117
DEVIL (demon, Satan)
95, 102, 114, 120, 211, 279;
Blinds parents, 237
Cannot accomplish a good, 200
Cannot know future, 190;
Causes: (spiritual) blindness, 237,
276; false pity, 339; illusions,
200; unnatural phenomena,
210, 234
Deceives through revelations, 139
140
Deception by — feared, 110
Encourages self-seeking, 133
Foiled by obedience, 113, 121
Found in solitude also, 122
Freed from, 388
Incites to pride, 141; unreason-
ableness, 196; untruths, 201
Induces blindness of soul, 237, 276;
lack of courage, 270; repug-
nance to do God's work, 287
Instigates harmful customs, 129
Index
463
Interferes with foundations, 186,
196, 201, 234; with vocations,
220, 237, 240
Is a good painter, 140
Is present to soul everywhere, 122
Is stronger in city, 230
Makes physical racket when
thwarted, 210
Melancholy is tool of, 134
Opposition from 107, 251
Prompts to excess, 168; to harm-
ful action, 184
Schemes of— work for opposite,
299
Seeks to destroy God's work, 251;
to dissuade from vocation, 220,
221; to harm Reform through
excessive penance, 168
Subtlety of— at time of visitation,
354
Tempts to pride, 141, 208, 212; at
time of death, 178; at time of
profession, 221, 240; to vain-
glory, 132
Twists reason, 121
Devotion 102, 378; articles of, 166
171
Diaz, Ines 367
Discipline: penitential practice,
211, 332; may cause false absorp-
tion, 126
Discouragement 117, see also De-
pression, Trials
Discretion: about dispensations 329;
highly rated in world, 258; needed
by visit ator, 342
Dishonor: welcomes while pleasing
God, 120
Displeasure: at not spending long
hours in prayer 118; of general
with Teresa, 249
Disposition of material goods 246
Distractions 117; absent in false
absorption, 125
Distress at having plenty 174; see
Poverty, Income
Distrust see God; Self; Trust
Disturbance 95, 133
Divine Office see Liturgy of Hours
Dominican(s) 20, 21, 30-32, 34, 39,
45, 61-63, 65, 71, 80, 95, 108,
140, 153, 178, 264, 305, 421, 427,
436, 445
Doria, Nicolas (de Jesus Maria) 8,
28, 34, 35, 71, 281, 285, 318, 430,
433, 440
Dowr(y)ies: paid for monastery 235;
not essential, 245, 289
Dream: Catalina Godinez's, 215
Dress 99; denotes choice of celibate
lifestyle, 211
Dryness 378
Duruelo 4, 31, 51, 60, 63, 87, 88,
93, 312, 415, 422, 423, 426
Dying from love of God see Death
(dying)
Earning one's livelihood: radical
decision in Teresa's time, 40, 321
Easter 319, 322, 446
Eboli, prince of (Ruy Gomez de
Silva) 179, 180, 183, 184, 261,
424-26, 436, 437
Eboli, princess of (Ana de Mendoza
y la Cerda) 47, 50, 179, 183-
85, 261, 423, 425, 426, 429, 430,
437
Ecclesiastical jurisdiction 22
Ecija (church of St. Anne) 89
Edification 101
Education given to girls 212
Efficacy of prayer 102
Efren, de la Madre de Dios (Mon-
talvo) 313
Egypt 379
Elderly see Age; Nuns; Persons
Elections: conditions, 339
Elena de Jesus 417
Elena de Jesus (Tolosa) 442, 443
Elijah (the prophet) 14-16, 247,
257, 387, 439
Eliseo de la Madre de Dios 440
464
St. Teresa of Avila
Elisha (the prophet) 14, 280, 282,
387, 439
Elizabeth I (Queen of England) 88
Elvira de San Angelo 437
Enclosure 24, 25, 111, 162, 187,
201, 284, 299, 305, 306, 323; ar-
chitecture of, 25, 26; in Constitu-
tions, 323; in covered wagon, 226;
grille 3, 25, 154, 243; portress on
journeys, 50; practiced even before
house is founded, 244, 265; recol-
lection without grille, 170; in some
rooms, 233; trial for princess of
Eboli, 184; veils serve as form of,
144, 278, 283; details to be checked
by visitator, 341
Endowment: terms of, 281
Enjoy see Joy
Enkindling: of love, comes during
activity also, 123
Entertainment: Teresa's talent for,
13, 372
Envy: a holy, 102
Episcopal appointments, 22
Equal: nuns are all to be, 326, 340
Erasmus 84
Eremitical life: not permitted by
Trent 182
Ervias, Agustin de 253, 255, 264,
436
Escalona 87
Escorial 79, 336
Espousal see Betrothal
Estafania, de los Apostoles 421
Esteban, Alonso417
Estella, Diego de 427
Eucharist see Sacraments
Eugene, St. (feast) 250
Eugene IV 18, 446
Europe 60
Evil see Devil; Good; Visions
Exaggeration: to be inquired into
341
Examination of Conscience 319,
320
Excess 127, 131; of consolation, 221;
in obedience, 191; see also Discre-
tion; Obedience; Penance
Exchange of gifts 379
Exclamatory prayers 148, 156, 207,
232, 249, 295, 305, 306; see also
CHRIST
Experience(s) 95, 114, 116, 118,
130, 141, 246, 269, 340, 345; of
delight can be dangerous, 124;
earns confidences, 221; of favors,
113; genuine— should eliminate
fear, 113; mixed with self-love,
131; of poverty, 171; is sole proof
of virtue, 123; teaches, 192; temp-
tations provide necessary, 221
Extravagance: in giving alms 340
Faculties (will, memory, intellect)
125; crippled, 126
Faith: in Divine Providence 100;
of Church in Spain, 22; sustains,
money does not, 325
False testimony 251, 252, 284
Fantasies 139
Farnese Alexander 90
Fasting: may be risk 126; 322
Faults 101; without guilt, 190; do
not impede gain from obedience,
122; not to be meddled with, 328
Favors (gifts): received in prayer 97,
101, 113, 126, 140, 142; through
making foundations, 96; by nun
who suffered much, 160
Fear (fright): can be absurd 297;
about austerity, 326, 338; counter-
feit favors, 113; caused by own
wretchedness, 257; grace defeats,
257; need to be without, 113;
— nothing, 386; of nun, 193; no
reason for, 390; Rubeo, 103; while
doing good, 232
Fear of God: of going against His
plans, 202; of losing Him, 380, 384
Ferdinand (Catholic Monarchs)
21, 22, 26
Fernandez, Pedro 20, 61-63, 72,
88, 203, 204, 208, 253, 315, 417,
427, 428, 436, 455
Index
Fervor: may give place to self-love
259
Fidelity in marriage 199
Fig: the 85, 140
FIGURES OF SPEECH
ant, 105
arms in battle, 365
arrow, 380
banner, 394
battle, 123
bee, 140
blows, 382
body, 384
bound hands, 101
bride, 395
captain, 221
caves, 365
cement, 143
child under two sacks of wheat,
190
dark room, 209
day, 178
digging, 121
door, 245, 385
drill, 279
dung, 148
dwelling, 382, 385
edifice, 115, 143
exile, 382
fainting, 125
falling, 365
fetters, 384
field of battle, 365
fire, 387
fish on hook, 383
fish in net, 305
flocks, 387, 393
flying, 130
fragrance, 325
fruit, 395
head, 344
honey, 361
house, 385
Jonah, 252, 379
journey, 130, 178, 264, 381, 382
joust, 365, 366
judge, 121
knights, 365
knot, 381
lambs, 188
lights, 209
lion, 393, 394
litigation, 121
living water, 306
madman, 127
mine, 122
nest, 380
oil, 395
olive tree, 395
painting, 140, 385
palm tree 395
path, 116, 118, 119, 121, 143
quagmire, 130
road, 386, 395
rock, 116
room, 385
root, 135
running streams, 305
sacrificial offering on altar, 121
sea, 381
shepherds, 387
slaves, 123
spider, 140, 141
storm, 381
streams, 305
stumbling, 365
swamp, 130
tempest, 252, 379
treasure, 121
tree of life, 396
tying God's hands, 118
walking, 130
war, 365
water (acceptance), 234
waves, 381
wolf, 387
Fireworks 234
Flanders 167
Flemish 26
Florence 389
Flos Sanctorum 321, 445
Fontiveros 84
466
St. Teresa of Avila
Food 322; not to comment on, 326;
ration to be checked, 340
Foquel, Guillermo 79
Forgiveness: of calumniation 181
Fortitude 221, 224; see also Courage
Foundations {The Book of Her) 3,
11, 20, 26, 29, 32, 37, 40, 55, 59,
64, 72, 78, 79, 80, 88, 95, 335, 336,
354; autograph of, 78-80; content,
7-14
Foundation (s) 3, 96; on making, 42-
48; permission for, 103; stop, 248,
251 ; work of God, not of men, 245
Founders of religious orders: exam-
ple of— is to be followed, 165; re-
ceive favors, 115
Fountain: an orange flower water,
234
France 14, 86, 318
Francis of Assisi, St. 78
Francis Xavier, St. 91
Franciscan(s) 3, 21, 23, 24, 29, 30,
44, 87, 88, 171, 180, 207, 232,
258, 264, 415, 421, 425, 427, 445;
see also Clare, St.; Francis of
Assisi, St.; Peter of Alcantara,
St.
Franco, Manuel 443
Freedom 174
French 318
Friendship; among the Sisters 328;
not to be excessive, 343
Fuensanta 437
Fuente, Mateo de la 181, 425
Fuente, Vicente de la 80, 313, 318
Funeral 329
Furnishings 322
Gabriel de la Asuncion 69, 254,
256, 318, 437
Galilei, Galileo 86
Gambler: deathbed reconciliation
178
Garcialvarez (Alvarez, Garcia)
231-233, 432
Gasca, Pedro de la 84, 85
Gaytan, Antonio 43, 205, 206, 224,
228, 242-44, 413, 428, 429, 432;
deserves special gratitude, 206
General, Father (Rubeo) 102-104,
106, 162, 163, 183, 184, 204, 205,
208, 222, 229, 248, 249, 251, 357;
see also Rubeo
Genoa (Italy) 71, 281, 416, 425, 440
Gentleness: necessary in superior
188
Glory 96, 97, 136, 381, 396
God 3, 96, 101, 103, 108, 109-111,
116, 119, 143, 150, 301; actions
are prompted by secret judgments,
1 14; "what do you want of me-?",
377; courage comes from, 101,
107; His designs are accomplished,
295; directs course of perfection in
His way, 190; disposes us to re-
ceive His favors, 219; waits to be
loved and then loves, 113; good to
speak of Him, 361; my Beloved,
379, 395; unchanging, 386; His
fidelity, 115; was to ignore T.'s
feelings of weakness, 291; leads
each one and this should be re-
spected, 189; makes vocation
clear, 182; mercy of, 147; must be
foremost in visitator's mind, 339;
obedience occupies us with, 121;
permitted persecution for greater
good, 252; permits temptation to
try His friends, 230; person who
knows— does His work more easily,
108; recourse to — in activity, 123;
secrets of, 219; seek self in, 360;
sent food, 99; single mystery should
not totally absorb, 127; soul and,
379-81; The Father, 123, 389,
391; the Son see Christ; The Holy
Spirit, 275, 360; Blessed Trinity,
284
Godfrey 16
Godinez Sandoval, Catalina (de
Jesus) 8, 9, 31, 55, 81, 209-17,
429, 430
Index
467
Godinez, Catalina 209
Good never produces evil, 114
Gomez de Chaves, Juana 366
Gomez Ibero, Alfonso 433
Gomez, Sehastiana 366
Gonzalez, Alonso 163, 416, 422,
426
Gonzalez, Pedro 416
Gothic 26
Gracian, Diego 430
Gracian de la Madre de Dios, Je-
ronimo (Jerome Gratian) 8, 34,
35, 45, 51, 53, 57, 64-70, 72, 74,
75, 81, 89, 91, 217-24, 227, 238,
239, 243, 244, 250, 252, 278, 290,
292-300, 303, 306, 315-18, 335,
336, 354, 355, 412, 413, 421, 429-
40, 442, 443, 445, 446, 455; apos-
tolic visitator and provincial, 64-
68, 222, 223, 243, 244, 252, 278,
293; biographical sketch, 430;
and Book of Foundations, 6, 79,
80, 350; devotion to Mary, 218-19;
excommunication of, 69, 70; good
organizer and moderate, 33, 66,
67, 218, 222, 336; fell into disfavor
with discalced, 34; and legislation
for nuns, 91, 315-18, 335, 336;
loved to study antiquity of order,
16, 218; tempted to leave novitiate,
31, 220, 221
Granada 4, 6, 63, 79, 87, 91, 93, 422
Granada, Luis de 266, 321, 445
Gratian, Jerome see Gracian
Greed: threat to vocations, 182
Greek civilization 27
Gregorian Calendar 91
Gregorian Chant 445
Gregorian Masses 329
Gregorio Nacianceno (Martinez y
Lopez) 429, 431, 435
Gregory (the Great), St. 12
Gregory XIII 25, 65, 67, 88, 436,
439, 446
Gregory XIV 318
Gregory XV 91
Grief: at souls lost 101; at offending
Rubeo, 102
Growth: spiritual, not impeded by
activity or obedience, 118
Guadalajara 358, 363
Guadalajara, Diego de 267
Guadalquivir river 49, 225, 425
Guadalupe 84
Guadix 429
Guevara, Antonio 445
Guidance of souls 188, 189
Guilt 384
Gutierrez, Juan 69
Gutierrez, Martin 426
Gutierrez, Nicolas 192, 195, 427
Habit of the order: intense desire
for, 265, 322; reception of, 183,
217, 244, 261, 281, 437, 440
Happiness: at approach of death
177; at being poor, 174; of the
General, 248; habitual, 245
Hardship 252
Health 20, 52, 53, 96, 137, 270; care
of through hygiene, 54; when
good, one can endure anything,
225; return to — seen as sign of
vocation, 213; rich woman with
poor — , well in religious life, 176;
see also Teresa: health
Heaven 95, 198, 395-97
Hell 198, 224, 225
Henry VIII 83
Henry of Portugal 90
Heresy 22
Hermit(s): becomes Carmelite, 181;
bishop's attraction for life of, 283;
noblewoman becomes, 259; and
Council of Trent, 425, 437; on
Mt. Carmel, 439, 447
Hermitage 101, 166, 329
Hernandez, Pablo 169, 423
Herrera 207
Historia del Carmen Descalzo 313
Holiness: may require time 189;
transcends initial opposition, 267
Holy Innocents (feast) 154, 270
468
St. Teresa of Avila
Holy Name (feast) 244
Holy See (see also Rome) 15, 18, 59,
61, 62, 316
Honor 165, 245, 396; basis for living
in village, 197
Honorius III 17
Hope 105
Hortigosa 83, 84
HOUSING
5, 10, 27, 41, 43, 44, 204; not to
be large, 340; not to be orna-
mented, 329
Initial: gift house, 145; palace
suite, 144; princess's palace,
183; room in collapsed house,
107; rooms in home of a nun's
father, 243; suite in Dona
Luisa's home, 170
Interim: 172, 205, 227; first night,
192; with funds from an appli-
cant, 107
Permanent:
Bought: Toledo (12,000 ducats),
175; Seville (6,000 ducats), 232;
Burgos (1,290 ducats), 302;
Palencia, 273; Segovia, 206;
Donated: Alba, 200-203; Beas,
208; Soria, 281; Villanueva de
lajara, 267; Valladolid, 147;
Caravaca, 242, 243
Abandoned 183-85
Built new 27
Restored 111
Salamanca in litigation for years,
not settled, 194-96; each new
house delighted General, 248;
founded by God, not men, 245;
hermitages, on grounds, 27,
415; price hiking, 45
Huguenots 86, 88, 426
Human nature 230, 291, 326, 338,
343; weak, 124; of women, 114
Humility 95, 114, 123, 132, 133,
140, 141, 143, 189, 259, 326, 329,
332, 363, 366, 386; false 84
Humors: harmful, 114
Hunger and election 441
Huns 427
Ibanez, Pedro 86
Ignatius of Loyola, St. 83-85, 91
Ignorance: does not accept God's
ordinance, 198
Illness(es) 7, 9, 49, 52, 53, 55; reme-
dies in, 54; of Catalina Godmez
212-14; see also Doctor; Medi-
cine; Teresa: illnesses
Illumination 13, 150
Illuminist movement 418
Illusion: criteria regarding, 200
Image(s): of Christ to be revered,
140; paper— most devotional, 166;
in place of other necessities, 47,
171, 423, 424
Imagery see Figures of Speech
Imagination 126; fed nature's lies,
125; harms, 115; incapable of
meditation, 117; role in melan-
choly, 138
Imitation of Christ 445
Immaculate Conception (feast) 153,
154
Imprudent understanding of obe-
dience 177
Inaccuracy on dates 203
Incarnation, Avila see Monastery
Income 10, 23, 24, 35, 39, 40, 42, 43,
144, 185, 321; archbishop insists
on income, T. desires poverty, 228;
account kept by treasurer, 331;
causes fear for T., 202; does not
affect nuns' poverty or perfection,
197; examined by visitator, 339;
fixed — and foundations, 144;
from dowries, 8, 19, 41; from new
nuns paid for house, 235; had not
a cent, 204; insufficient — causes
trouble, 202; of Incarnation, 20;
provided from elsewhere by T.,
194; required by bishop, 288,
290
Indies 66, 231, 245, 434, 455
Index
469
Ines de Jesus (Tapia) 416, 419, 439,
442
Ines de la Concepcion 418
Ines de la Cruz 442
Inn(s) 49, 50, 192, 224, 282, 285,
293; of Albino, 50; bad, with worse
bed, 225; bad—, reminder of hell,
50, 225
Innocent IV 24
Inquire what God wants 118
Inquisition 22, 56, 57, 89, 359, 360,
415, 423
Inquisitor General 417
Insanity: borderline, 136
Institutes of the Christian Religion
84
Institution of the First Monks 15
Intellect 95, 359; see also Faculties
Intellectual vision: at the time of
suspension 264
Intelligence: lack of, 97; must be
taken into consideration, 189; no
hindrance to obedience, 100;
renders melancholy untrouble-
some, 134
Interior Castle 80, 89, 90
Interior delight: no index of perfec-
tion 120; trials at early stages of a
foundation, 205
Inaquito 84, 441
Isabella (Catholic Monarchs) 21,
22, 26
Isabel de Jesus (Fontecha) 416
Isabel de Jesus (Jimena) 428
Isabel de la Cruz (Arias) 366, 416,
417, 420
Isabel de la Trinidad 442
Isabel de los Angeles 401
Isabel de San Francisco 431
Isabel de San Jeronimo 57, 431
Isabel de San Pablo 423
Isabel de Santangelo 366
Isabel de Santo Domingo 317, 423,
430
Isidore, St. 91
Islamic 26
Italian 71, 181
Italian monasteries 372, 389, 393,
407
Italy 416
Jerez de la Frontera 71
Jeronima de la Cruz 368
Jeronima de la Encarnacion 401,
417
Jeronima de San Jose 313
Jeronimite 21, 30
Jerusalem (heavenly) 114
Jesuit(s) (Society of Jesus) 5, 7, 15,
20, 34, 45, 57, 84, 96, 105, 160,
169, 170, 172, 185, 215, 217, 241,
242, 250, 269, 283, 286, 295, 305,
414, 421, 423, 430, 434, 440
Jews (con versos) 38, 56
Jewish (civilization) 26, 27, 37,
428
Jezebel 247
Jimena, Andres de 205, 428
Job 378
John, St. (Apostle) 378
John of Avila, St. 87
John the Baptist, St. (church of) 83
John the Baptist, St. (feast) 270
John of the Cross, St. 8, 20, 31, 34,
62, 79, 84, 87-89, 91, 112, 160-
64, 318, 357, 360, 363, 371, 416,
417, 420, 422, 428, 429, 430, 431,
434, 439, 440; always lived a life of
great perfection, 161; God deliver
me from people so spiritual that
they want to turn everything into
perfect contemplation, 361; he
pleased me very much, 112; so
good I could have learned from
him, 163; taught him about our
way of life, 163
John, Patriarch of Jerusalem 15
Jonah 202, 252, 379
Jose de Cristo 423
Joseph (Patriarch) 379
Joseph, St. 51, 84, 97, 231, 301
Joseph, St. (feast) 203, 205, 211, 300.
301, 319, 320
470
St. Teresa of Avila
Journey see FIGURES OF SPEECH
Travel
Joy (enjoy, rejoicing): from calum-
nies, 249; is commensurate with
preceding trials, 279; at being
enclosed, 305; in God, 382; that
we are in house we can be thrown
out of, 196
Juana Bautista 440
Juana de Jesus 367
Juana de la Cruz (Gomez) 433
Juana de San Francisco 439
Juan Crisostomo 442
Juan de Jesus (Roca) 218, 430
Juan de la Madre de Dios 439
Juan de la Miseria 88, 180, 184,
215, 425, 433
Juan, Don of Austria 437
Judge: visitator is judge, 337
Judgment 69, 175, 185, 198
Julius III 85
Jurisdiction over nuns 103, 104,
105, 415, 416
King, the (Philip II) 194, 212, 214,
217, 243, 253, 420
Kings, the Three (feast) 393
Knowledge of God see God
Knox, John 84
Labor see Livelihood; Work
Latin 318
Lawrence, St. (feast) 146
Lawsuit(s) 11, 44, 107, 207, 351
Laxity: can begin if no visitation 338
Lay Sisters 29, 271, 293, 325
Layman's contribution to founda-
tion 206, 207
Lay women teaching girls 212
Layz, Diego 428
Layz, Teresa 8, 75, 76, 81, 197-203
Legazpi 91
Leiva, Fr. 434
Lent 165, 211, 214, 215, 256, 264,
297, 320, 333
Leon, Juan de 262
Leon, Luis de 78-80, 335, 336
Leonor de San Gabriel 431
Lepanto 88
Letters: subject to inspection, 331
Letters (Teresa's) 358
Liberty of spirit, 130
Libro de la Melancolta 55
Lies 96, 125
Life (The Book of Her) 3, 5, 7, 11,
20, 23, 31, 38, 56, 79, 86, 87, 311,
312, 412-14, 445
Life of Christ (the Carthusian's)
321
Lilio, Martin de 445
Lineage, vs. virtue, 175
Lisbon 433, 440, 445, 446
Liturgy of the Hours 188, 166, 191,
319, 325
Livelihood 40, 321
Locutions 96, 102, 287; impart
strength, 270; in time of great
trials, 287, to Catalina Godmez,
216 see also TERESA: Locutions
Louis, St. (feast) 97
Love: all are capable of, 117; God's
-for us, 102, 378, 379; our-for
God, 379, 380; makes us desire to
die, 383; -of Sisters, 328; does
not hide in corners, 122; prioress
to have a mother's—, 330; resists
stupefaction, 125; visitator needs
to have, 338; —of world clings to
life, 383; worldly— adheres to this
life, 383
Low Countries 90
Lubricum genus 425
Ludolph of Saxony 445
Lukewarm: can find strength from
example, 160
Luther 83, 84
Lutherans 60, 109, 187, 417
Madness: blessed, delightful false
absorption resembles, 127
Madrid 22, 45, 57, 65-67, 69-71,
88-90, 180, 219, 229, 313, 318,
364, 373, 415, 425, 436
Malagon 4, 27, 29, 39, 40, 50, 80,
87, 89, 90, 93, 143, 144, 169, 191,
Index
471
235, 247, 255, 256, 315, 419, 434,
437, 446
Maldonado, Alonso 3, 87, 101, 415
Mancera (de Abajo) 167, 184, 261,
415, 422, 423, 426
Mancera de Arriba 423
Manila 91
Manrique, Alonso de Santo Do-
mingo 290
Manrique, Antonio 421
Manrique, Catalina 290, 291, 442
Manrique, Luis 436
Manrique, Maria 290
Manrique, Pedro 170, 174, 423
Manso, Pedro 423, 442
Manteca, Juan 419
Marcellus II 85
Maria Bautista 440, 442
Maria Bautista (Ocampo) 415, 416,
421, 438, 456
Maria de Cristo 440
Maria de Cristo 91, 441
Maria del Corro 56, 57
Maria de Jesus 24, 31, 86, 87, 313,
318
Maria de Jesus 440
Maria de Jesus (Godinez) 430
Maria de la Cruz 420
Maria de la Encarnacion 428
Maria del Espiritu Santo 431
Maria del Sacramento 193, 194, 426
Maria de los Mar tires 437
Maria de San Agustin 438
Maria de San Bernardo 439
Maria de San Jeronimo 312
Maria de San Jose (Davila) 416
Maria de San Jose (Salazar) 34, 41,
53, 312, 372, 412-14, 421, 431-
34, 441, 442
Maria de San Jose (Tolosa) 442
Maria de San Jose 440
Maria de San Jose (at Incarnation)
367
Mariana de Jesus 428
Mariana, Dona 196
Mariano, Ambrosio (de San Benito)
8, 41, 60, 63, 66, 68-71, 88, 181-
84, 227-29, 252, 261, 318, 425, 432
Marriage: arranged, 148, 149; seen
as subjection, 306; see also Fidelity
Martin de la Cruz 171
Martin, St. (feast) 290
Martyrdom: melancholy can be
a-, 136
Mary Magdalene, St. 360
Mary: the Mother of God 14-16,
33, 51, 66, 68, 74, 97, 104, 115,
142, 145, 165, 167, 178, 179, 188,
202, 216-22, 231, 237, 244, 245,
253, 261, 263-66, 276-79, 281,
320, 338, 363, 365-68, 439; chose
Gracian, 217, 222; daughter of
God the Father, 391; Lord rewards
service to, 145, 147; petitions and
processions, 230, 231, 237, 244;
repaid services by giving "her
habit," 218; the Shepherdess, 389;
statue kept from owner for years,
167; "tricked" Gracian, 219
Mascarenas, Leonor de 31, 180,
425
Matanza, Hernando 298, 442
Matthias, St. (feast) 76, 207, 208
215, 300
Maxime cuperemus 23, 60
Meddling in community 430, 432,
440
Medicine 54-56, 213, 214, 216; fo-
the melancholy, 137
Medina, Bias de 417
Medina, Juan de 42
Medina del Campo4, 11, 42, 43, 53,
74, 75, 80, 87, 88, 90, 91, 93, 99,
105, 106, 108, 111, 143, 145, 161,
162, 166, 184, 186, 193, 416, 423,
427, 438
Medinaceli 419
Medinaceli, duke of 144
Meditations on the Song of Songs
87
Mediterranean 71
Mejia, Rafael Velazquez 161, 422
472
St. Teresa of Avila
Memorial of the Christian Life
445
Memory 97; see also Faculties
Mendoza, Alvaro de (Bishop of
Avila, Palencia) 50, 86, 103-5,
147, 183, 268, 271, 272, 277, 286-
89, 304, 305, 307-9, 357, 361,
362, 416, 420, 421, 438, 440, 443
Mendoza, Bernardino de 420
Mendoza, Maria de44, 50, 63, 147,
163, 420
Mendoza, Pedro Gonzalez de 426
Mental prayer see Prayer
Mercedarians 44, 60, 61, 207, 260
Merchant(s) 166, 168, 171; of ju-
daeo-converso origin, 424
Mercy 3, 102, 147
Merenciana 237
Mexico 3, 87, 415
Michael, St. (feast) 195, 207
Middle- Assyrian Law Code 27
Miguel de la Columna 435
Mind 116; is not the soul, 117
Minims of St. Francis de Paula 442
Miracles 86; baby, three days old,
speaks, 198; decides not to write
about, 203; declares one is not, as
claimed, 100; fire in the cloister
but taffeta hangings untouched,
234; finding water, 167; immedi-
ate return of health, 213; Lord
works equivalent of, 276; Teresa
revives her nephew, 86
Mitigation: to be rejected 245
Moderation in building 165
Monastery, Blessed Trinity (Soria)
280, 284, 439
Monastery, Conception of Our
Lady (Valladolid) 145, 151, 289,
415, 421, 438
Monastery, Incarnation (Avila)
18-20, 23, 25, 29, 41, 47, 62, 63,
83, 84, 86, 88, 103, 106, 194, 204,
207, 251, 311, 313-15, 363, 415-
17, 424, 426, 427, 438, 442, 446
Monastery, Our Lady del Prado
(Valladolid) 441
Monastery, Our Lady of Grace
Medina) 417
Monastery, Our Lady of Succor
(La Roda) 254, 257
Monastery, Our Lady of the An-
nunciation (Alba de Tormes)
197, 203, 415, 426
Monastery, Santa Maria de las
Cuevas 433
Monastery, St. Anne (Medina)
107, 108, 160
Monastery, St. Isabel (Salamanca)
193
Monastery, St. Jerome (Our Lady
del Prado, Burgos) 286
Monastery, St. Joseph (Avila) 3,
4, 7, 23, 27, 34, 46, 47, 53, 69,
73, 74, 86, 87, 89, 95, 97, 99, 102,
106, 108, 113, 143-45, 161, 170,
241, 268, 282, 285, 286, 288, 308,
309, 311-13, 317, 357, 358, 414-
17, 422, 430, 438, 455
Monastery, St. Joseph (Caravaca)
241
Monastery, St. Joseph (Malagon)
143, 145, 244, 255, 256, 415, 420,
424, 432
Monastery, St. Joseph (Medina)
99, 105, 143, 145, 415-18, 4i<>
Monastery, St. Joseph (Salamaici;
134, 185, 192, 203, 250, 415, <*17
Monastery, St. Joseph %Segjvi&,
203, 285
Monastery, St. Joseph (Toledo)
169, 176, 250, 25. , c59, 308, 415,
423, 424, 430
Monastery, St. Joseph of Carmel
(Seville) 217, 222, 230, 235
Monastery, St. Joseph of Our Lady
of the Street (Palencia) 268, 441,
442
Monastery, St. Joseph of St. Anne
(Burgos) 286, 363
Monastery, St. Joseph of the Sav-
iour (Beas) 207, 208, 215
Money: does not sustain, 325; use—
Index
473
with care, 350; Spanish currency,
42; see also Housing; Income
Monitors to observe: remark on
faults, 328, 331
Monte Oliveto 416
Monterrey, count of 427
Monterrey, countess of 195
Montesinos, Ambrosio 445
Montmartre 83
Moors 4, 27, 37, 56, 87, 209, 428
Mortification 131, 168, 176, 187,
224, 331; at meals, 327; not to
become obligation, 189; not to be
imposed, generally, 188
Moslems 27
Mount Carmel 14, 15, 23, 439, 446
Moya, Rodrigo 241, 243, 434
Muncharez, Sebastian 431, 442
Munoz, Alonso 434
Music 319; at opening Masses for
foundations, 234, 305;
Naples (Italy) 425
Natural inclinations 96; reason,
100
Navarra 281,
Near East 27
Necessity (ies) 99, when — lacking,
troubles arise, 202
Necrological literature 421
Need(s) 99, 326, 340
New Year's Day 241, 243
Nobility: testify in defense of the
discalced, 253
Nothing, "Let — trouble you" 119,
386
Nothingness is magnified by Love
382
Nourishment 99
Novices, 324
Nuncio, papal 224, 251-53; see also
Ormaneto; Tostado
Nuns 23-29, 97; Franciscan 425,
427; not subject to the friars, 102;
number in communities 19, 24,
29, 103, 415; poems for, 386, 396;
rumored to be "usually unhappy,"
201
Obedience 3, 5, 10, 33, 45, 95, 157,
176, 248, 368, 386; all God wants,
118; can validly dispense, 191; in
conflict of superiors, 251; and
cucumber, 99; excessive, 191; in
face of strong reluctance, 121;
gives strength, 96; good works and
— benefit more than hours of
prayer, 123; happy, 119; is quick
route to happiness, 121; imposed
writing on her, 250, 335; impru-
dent, 177, 191; inability for—
indicates presence of temptation,
129; must be accompanied by
interior recourse to God, 123;
necessary when favors are received,
130; never to involve sin, 190; not
to be misused for testing nuns,
190; overzealous, 177; primacy of,
113, 117, 123; protests from devil,
113; is reason for foundations,
248; shortest route to rest in God,
121; sign of authentic religious,
189; spirit of — communicates to
others, 119; subjects the will to
reason, 121; willing to suffer while
obeying, 293, 397; zeal must be
guided by, 118
Observance 103; key to visitations,
344
Observants 21, 23
Obsessed 3; with a good imagination,
126
Obstacles to foundations 291; see
also Trials
Ocampo see Maria Bautista
Occupation 96, 340; see also Work
Offending God 96
Offices in community: elected:
prioress, subprioress, keybearers;
appointed: portress, sacristan, 330
On Making The Visitation 79, 89,
413
Openness with visitator: crucial
344
474
St. Teresa of Avila
Opposition: to foundations 251, 366,
432; from friends and civic leaders,
107; to Teresa, 426
Oratory of Religious 321, 445
Order of Knights of Santiago 208,
212, 242, 243, 429, 434
Order of Knights of St. John of
Jerusalem 181
Organization important in monas-
teries 337
Ormaneto, Nicolas 48, 65, 67-69,
88, 89, 431, 436
Orozco, Juan de 429
Ortega, Juan 443
Osma, Burgo de 50, 254, 280, 282,
283, 436, 440
Osuna, Francisco de 30, 84
Otalora, Catalina 241, 242, 434
Our Lady of the Villas (church)
440
Our Lady of Grace (convent school)
83
Our Lady of the Street (shrine) 41,
272-77
Ovalle, Beatriz, Yanez de 278, 426
Ovalle, Gonzalo de 86
Ovalle, Juan de 429
Oviedo 431
Padilla, Antonio de 149, 421
Padilla, Casilda de 6, 8, 37, 79, 80,
150-56, 421, 423
Padilla., Juan Calvo de 66
Padilla, Luisa de 149, 421
Padilla, Martin de 421
Pain 3; see also TERESA: health
illnesses
Painting of the Lord bought before
other needs 171
Palafox 358
Palencia 4, 41, 45, 50, 74, 81, 90,
91, 93, 268-71, 277, 278, 280,
281, 285, 286-90, 292, 294, 304,
307, 308, 428, 438-40 442, 443
Palestine 27
Palm Sunday 144
Pamplona 436, 439
Pantoja, Fernando de 233, 234, 433
Papal nuncio see Nuncio
Papal rights 22
Papenbroch, Daniel 15
Pardo, Arias 86
Parents: fostering vocations, 148;
speak no longer to children who
follow vocation, 240; win blessing
for children, 210
Paris 83
Partiality: blindness of, 353
Paso de los Pon tones 292
Passions 133-35, 366
Pastrana 4, 31, 40, 47, 50, 60, 63,
81, 88, 93, 179, 182, 183, 218,
219, 261, 269, 363, 415, 422-24,
426, 429, 430, 434, 437
Path to God 3; see also FIGURES
OF SPEECH
Patience 123, 269, 366, 386
Paul, St. 27, 149, 321, 327, 360
Paul III 83 85
Paul IV 85
Paul V 91
Paul VI 91
Paulinus of Nola, St. 15
Peace of soul 132, 133, 245, 278,
378; delight in, 395; in face of
great physical suffering, 158; in
faculties, 360; reward of good life,
192
Penalties for faults 329, 447-454
Penance(s) 23, 29, 30, 31, 101, 188,
211, 253, 363; can lead to false
absorption, 125; excessive when
without direction, 211; fasts, 9;
moderation in, 168; not as impor-
tant as the rule, 188; not to be
multiplied, 347; prioress fond of,
188; related to work, 327, 331;
spirituality increased by lack of
suitable accommodations, 165
Pentecost 179, 180, 224, 226, 235
Penaranda de Bacamonte 75
Penuela, La 63, 422
Index
475
Perez de Rojas, Martin 443
Perfection 99, 114, 133, 189, 246;
cannot be enforced, 190; content-
ment represents highest, 120; pre-
sumed—, leads to seeing faults in
others, 343; of love of God, 367; is
mandatory because of forerunners'
suffering, 252, 279; as response to
favors received, 141
Permissions 104-6, 325, 327; to
donate part of benefice, 255; to
eat or drink apart from meals, 327;
to enlarge house, 341; to leave
choir, 319; for mortifications, 327;
to receive anything, 329; patent
for permissions, 416, 432; to speak
with another Sister, 320; to take
more disciplines or perform other
penitential acts, 333; to transfer
nuns to another house, 427
Persecution 120
Perseverance 367
Peru 83, 84, 441
Peter of Alcantara, St. 23, 24, 29,
30, 38, 85, 86, 131, 266, 321, 446
Peter, St. 123, 149
Peter, St. (church in Pastrana) 261
Peter's, St. (basilica in Rome) 15
Petronila de San Andres 424
Philip II 22, 30, 60, 61, 71, 79, 85,
90, 91, 243, 252, 278, 279, 336,
421, 425, 430, 434, 437; favored
Teresa's nuns, 214, 243
Phocas 15
Piacenza (Italy): the chapter of, 48
65, 67, 89, 435, 455
Pia consideratione 90, 316
Pimentel, Maria Dona (countess of
Monterrey) 196, 427
Pinel, Maria 415
Pino, Jeronimo del 443
Pina, Fr. 437
Pisuerga river 420
Pius IV 85-87
Pius V, St. 25, 48, 60, 61, 67, 87,
88, 425, 427, 436
Pizarro, Francisco 83, 84, 441
Pleasing God 95, 97, 99, 101; makes
trials sweet, 120
Pleasure 124, 383
Poetry 371, 375
Poland 181
Pontifical authority 59, 60, 62, 65-
69; of commissary, 428, 431, 436;
on excommunication, 61
Pope: authorized St. Joseph's Avila,
251
Porras 271, 438
Portrait of Teresa 425, 433
Portugal 60, 67, 90, 91
Portuguese 313
Possession of love 380
Poverty 21, 22, 38, 165, 172, 185,
321, 322, 337, 348, 380, 386, 397;
founding in, 106, 339; is source of
happiness, 174; is no impediment
to vocation, 246
Power (dominion) 3
Practices: of prayer, 97; of obedi-
ence, 99; see Obedience, Penance
Pradanos, Juan de 85
Praise of God 96, 97, 99 see also
CHRIST, God
Prayer 10, 13, 23, 24, 97, 101, 102,
114-16, 123, 124, 127, 142, 188,
211, 224, 253, 284, 319, 320, 329,
331, 332, 361, 378; and austerity,
30; and melancholy, 138; the place
where the Lord gives the light to
understand truths, 150; treatise
on, 417; in Constitutions, 314,
319, 320, 327, 332
Prejudice of nuncio 436
Presumption: a holy 279
Pride: incited by devil 141
Priests: aided Teresa in founda-
tions 253
Prioress(es) 8, 20, 100, 101, 130,
135, 187; advice to — on absorp-
tion, 127; counsels to, 113; can be
deposed 338; duties of 330; not to
enforce mortification, 190; not to
476
St. Teresa of A Vila
lead others by her personal prefer-
ence, 188; responsibilities of, 188;
to be treated like rest in commu-
nity, 326; trust in, 423
Progress in spiritual life 97
Promises of the Lord 97; see Locu-
tions
Prophecy: does not equal obedience
120; fulfilled, 393
Prophetic roots 439
Providence 99, 143, 292; T. always
paid debts, 277
Provincial(s) 105, 162, 183, 292,
416, 430, 431, 436, 440
Prudence: required in confessors
142; in obeying, 177
Prudencio (Prudencio Armentia)
277
Psychology see TERESA
Purchasing: without bargaining or
haggling, 331
Pure Blood 36, 197, 281, 428
Purgatory 136, 145, 224
Pusillanimity: hinders Providence
105
Quesada, Teresa de 417
Quiet 95, 97, 99; in which to end
her days, 249; prayer of, 124,
361
Quiroga, Cardinal 417
Quiroga, Elena 111
Ramirez family 38
Ramirez, Alonso Alvarez 169
Ramirez, Martin 169, 423
Rapture 116, 120, 124, 130, 262;
less valuable than obedience; 120,
124; resembles absorption but dif-
fers in reality, 125, 418
Reading 95, 321; taught to novices,
331
Reason 95, 100; can find God any-
where, 130; must be free, 130
Recollection 21, 321, 341; spirit of
— in each monastery, 194
Recreation 323, 328; explained to
John of the Cross, 163
Reform of Carmelites in Spain
20-23, 58-61
Reinoso, Jeronimo, Canon 271-76,
438
Relatives 324
Religious life: reason for entering
306
Remedios, Los 422
Remon, Beatriz 366
Reprimands 328, 329
Repugnance: to making founda-
tions 287; to writing, 337
Resignation 95
Response to a Spiritual Challenge
88, 363, 365
Restful years 99
Restlessness 95, 117
Revelation(s) 116, 139, 140-43
Revenue, fixed see Income
Ribera, Francisco de 80, 285
Ribera, Pedro 440
Riches (spiritual): meant to benefit
others 101
Rights of indigenous people 415
Rio de la Plata 83
Rio de Olmos 420
Ripalda, Jeronimo 5-7, 96, 250,
269, 414, 421
Rising time 3, 19
Roca, Juan 315, 316
Roda, La 30, 63, 422, 437
Rodriguez de Sandoval, Sancho
208
Rodriguez, Otilio 444
Rojas y Sandoval, Cristobal 431
Roman Catholic Church, holy 97
Roman civilization 27
Roman Martyrology 427
Romani pontificis 18
Rome 22, 25, 31, 59, 67, 70, 85,
102, 104, 181, 182, 255, 267, 278,
311, 312, 318, 415, 416, 426, 436
see also Holy See, Vatican
Rondilla de Santa Teresa 421
Royal council 22, 89
Index
477
Royal dispatch 434
Rubens 420
Rubeo (Giovanni Baptista Rossi)
4, 11, 19, 24, 59, 60-64, 67, 68,
70, 86, 87, 90, 103, 312,415,416,
431, 432, 435, 436
Rudeness shown Teresa 438
Ruiz de Ayala, Diego 443
Rule of St. Albert (Carmelite, of
Our Lady of Mount Carmel,
primitive, mitigated) 15, 17, 18,
103, 104, 106, 113, 163-65, 180,
182, 188, 189, 215, 216, 221, 245,
311, 314, 315, 321, 322, 327, 329,
330, 343, 344, 416, 445-47;
renewed, first steps, 165; rule suf-
fices, 32, 188; spirit of, 189
Rule of St. Basil 421
Sacraments: Eucharist 77, 109, 111,
124, 125, 133, 173, 187, 205, 206,
233, 244, 263, 264, 277, 278, 319,
320, 323; reservation of— not
needed to make foundation offi-
cial, 192, 195, 417; Reconciliation
(Penance), to the dying, 214; to
the sick, 323, 329; Anointing of
the Sick, 214, to Teresa, 77
Sacramental: crucifix, 366
Sadness 174; in longing to see God,
382; at having to leave the Sisters,
248
Salamanca 4, 5, 20, 44, 47, 49, 76,
78, 81, 88, 90, 93, 96, 112, 185,
186, 192, 197, 199, 201, 203, 204,
207, 208, 250, 318, 414, 416, 421,
427, 428, 442, 445
Salazar, Angel de 48, 72, 90, 255,
312, 416, 422, 426, 436, 438
Salcedo, Francisco de 357, 359
Salinas, Martin Alonso, Canon
272, 273, 276, 293-96, 439
Salvation: in danger 419; of souls
pleases God, 102
Samaniego, Estefania 368
Samaritan woman 306, 361, 415
Sanahuja 430
Sanchez, Ana 367
San Gil 442
Sanlucar de Barrameda 432
San Lucas (Hospital) 443
Santa Gadea del Cid 421
Santiago (Chile) 84
Santiago de Compostela 423, 436
Saojoso, Francisca de 434, 435
Satan (Lucifer) see Devil
Satirical Critique 89, 357, 359
Satisfaction 95
Savona 389, 393, 407
Scandal 139, 434
Scotland 84
Scripture 280, 379
Scruples 96, 139, 218
Sebastian de Jesus 442
Sebastian, St. (feast) 213, 214
Seclusion see Enclosure
Security 95
Seeing God 380
Seeking God (poem) 358
Sega, Felipe 69, 70, 89, 90, 436, 437
Segovia 4, 5, 44, 81, 88, 90, 93, 184,
203, 204, 285, 428, 429
Self: —abandonment, 418; —
abhorence, 264; —denial, 387; —
forgetfulness, 381; —gratification,
131; -love, 114, 115; -will, 122,
366
Sensuality: twists reason, 121
Sermons 101
Serving 96, 99, 101, 102, 105
Seville 4, 9, 12, 41, 44-46, 49, 50,
53, 55-57, 63, 65, 66, 68, 71, 73,
81, 89, 93, 181, 223, 224, 227,
228, 230, 237, 238, 240, 243-45,
248, 251, 253, 315, 422, 425, 432,
433-36, 440
Shakespeare 86
Sick: care of the, 326
Sicily 439
Siesta 328
Silence: at arriving for new founda-
tion, 271; in Constitutions, 320;
478
St. Teresa of A vila
dispensed for recreation, 327, 329;
under unusual obedience, 100
Silverio, P. de Santa Teresa 80,
313, 314, 318, 336, 418
Simon, Stock, St. 16
Simplicity: in hermit, 259
Sin: atoned for, 384; causes misery,
126; impedes giving witness, 114;
unrelated to observance, 329
Singlemindedness 107
Sinner's Guide 445
Sixtus V 318
SKETCHES, HISTORICAL
to edify: wealthy, middle-aged
woman gives up all to become
Carmelite, 176; benefactress
penalized for charity, 298; bish-
op's lifestyle, 284; child abused
becomes Carmelite, 236; child's
heroic effort for father, 226;
conflicting obediences, 100;
crucifix routs conceit, 208;
defending forgiven enemies,
181; devotion true when obedi-
ent, 132; faith in Providence,
100; gambler's deathbed recon-
ciliation, 178; infant speaks
when two days old, 198; ill-
dressed youth, great help, 171;
instantaneous cure, 213; noble-
woman-hermit, 258; obedience
merits a vision, 120; Our Lady
"tricks" Gracian, 218-19; prog-
ress through obedient, chari-
table activity as great as through
prayer, 119; rebellion for voca-
tional choice, 148; unquestion-
ing compliance, 99
to warn: delusive devotion, 129;
excess indicates false devotion,
127, 131; irascible archbishop,
303; madness masquerades as
mysticism, 142; melancholic
superior, 220; spurious revela-
tion, 142
Slander 251, 434
Slave(s) see FIGURES OF SPEECH
Sleep (sleeping) 319; sickness, 224,
319; spiritual, 124
Sobrino, Francisco 79, 336
Social Relations described by Teresa:
bias against merchants, 174; im-
mediate compliance to summons
from nobility, 179; marry to per-
petuate name, 150; false reason
for entering religion, 246; status
no concern to God, 246
Society of Jesus see Jesuits
Soliloquies 88
Solitude 10, 32, 101; consultation of
superiors even in, 130; humility
and patience not provable in, 123;
leaving— can be repaid, 121; only
obedience and charity can excel,
122
Song: induces rapture, 428
Soreth, John Bl. 18, 58, 59
Soria4, 40, 46, 50, 81, 91, 93, 280,
281-83, 285, 288-90, 292, 441
Sorrow 379; earthly life is a, 383; at
farewells, 248; intended for her, 249
Soul: bound, fails to use great favors,
101; calm, 99; converted, 102;
lost, 101; is not the mind, 117; is
prized by the Lord, 102; is subject
to body's weakness, 268
Sound of Lord's greeting see Locu-
tions
Spain 4, 18, 20, 22, 23, 26, 29, 44,
48, 50, 51, 56, 58-62, 69, 79, 85,
88, 102, 372, 373, 416, 425, 431,
432, 436, 437, 440
Spanish Congregation (Carmelites)
313, 318
Speech 379
Spiritual: communion 133; persons,
97; formation through poetry, 371;
treatise, 417
Spirituality 8, 20, 48, 113, 114; can
grow in commotion, 118; is indi-
vidual, 189; of illuminists, 418
Index
479
Spiritual Canticle 429
Spiritual Testimonies 414
St. Bartholomew's Eve 88
Straw: primary need on foundation,
for beds, 193
Student(s): supposed danger from,
193; helpful, 424
Stupefaction 125, 418
Suarez 28
Suarez, Maria 417
Submission: to others, 95; makes us
lords, 122
Suffering 101, 384; mental is greater
than physical, 110; vicarious, 157
Suffrages: for nuns of primitive
rule, 329; for those of mitigated
observance, 329
Superior 95, 96, 99, 100, 103, 129,
223; gets more light from God,
292; going against, 251; group lived
without one, 266; with melancholy,
permitted by God, 220
Superioribus mensibus 23, 60
Supernatural prayer 143
Surrender 95, 379, 380, 396
Susanna 181
Suspension: accompanied by intel-
lectual vision, 264; light received
during, 209
Switzerland 84
Swoon 126, 418; suspect, 129
Symbol see Imagery
Tabor 378
Talent of new members to be re-
spected 351
Tamayo 273
Tamayo, Maria de 366
Tardon, El 181
Tasks see Work
Tauste, Francisca de 434
Tavera, Pardo de 430
Tax problem 432
Teaching girls 212
Tears 101, 384
Teenage resistance to vocational
coercion 149-56
Temptations: not to be feared at
death* 177; present when obedi-
ence is ignored, 129
Tenderness 102
Teresa de la Columna (Quesada)
416, 417
TERESA, ST.
Christ: begs — with tears to do
something to win souls, 101,
102;
Church: envies missionary, 101;
dedication to increase of, 101;
Council of Trent: 425
Health: 5, 20, 96, 137, 270, 413;
abstinence and, 419; as it af-
fected her making foundations,
287; God gives it as it is needed,
257; measure and rule needed
to preserve health, 126; nutri-
tion and, 419; psychosomatic
reflections, 55; sudden return to
— after illness, 247; with — one
can endure anything, 225
Illness: 7, 9, 49, 52-55, 205, 287,
290; caused loss of usual confi-
dence in God, 269; complained,
187, 247; fever and nausea,
205, 224, 287, 290; ill health is
worst trial of all, 291; on melan-
choly, 134-37, 419; paralysis,
84; pathologist's conclusion,
413; travel with illness, 205,
225; universal influenza, 437,
441; her last days, 73-78
Locutions: Assure, encourage, in-
struct: accept the house, 256;
accomplish, 256; (asked) in re-
proof, 256; bishop will serve
well, 284; devil seeks to hinder,
with My help you will make
foundation, 291; everything is
finished, 307; giving, 145; God
says to me, not Lord or Christ,
301; good for nuns to change
obedience from bishop to order,
308; hold fast, 297; house suits
480
St. Teresa of Avila
you, 274; hurry, 146; mattered
not, 175; not to hesitate, 256;
(obedience) gives, 96; receiving,
145; suffering, 146; they do not
understand, 274; those who de-
spise the world, 38, 175; will
bring about, 204; Calls Teresa:
daughter, 96, 102; Teresa, 297;
Commands and Reprimands:
175, 256; bring with you, 180;
do not neglect, 270, 287; go,
180, 204, 291; hold fast, 297;
hurry, 146; leave it to me, 231;
pay no attention to weather,
290; seek yourself in Me, 357;
tell apostolic commissary you
are to go, 204; wait a little, 102;
you are free to go, 307; Places:
Burgos, 270, 290, 291; Palencia,
45, 270, 274, 287; Segovia, 204,
Pastrana, 180; Questions: Do
you hesitate? 301; Do you see?
31; Have I failed you? 270;
What do you fear? 270, 287;
Why do you doubt? 307; Topics:
Blessed Mother, 145; Mass for
release from Purgatory, 146;
great remedy, 274; great things
promised and verified, 102, 104;
house that should be bought,
145, 274; lineage, 38, 175;
mercy of God, 145; money, 301;
more than a foundation at stake,
180, 182; need to take rule and
constitutions, 180, 182; "noth-
ing" in God's eyes, 175; obe-
dience, 31, 96; penance, 31;
salvation in jeopardy, 145; ser-
vice of God, 256; social status,
38, 175; a soul, 146; spiritual
progress, 256; strength, 96;
treasure, 256; young benefactor
in purgatory, 145, 146; Words
about Himself: I am offended,
274; I am the same, 270, 287; I
am the true warmth, 290; I
have already heard you, 231;
I value your obedience more,
31; It is I, 270, 287
Nuns: embarrassed by their vir-
tue, 99; a wretched one among
angelic souls, 100
Personal Characteristics: distress
at Gracian's affliction, 297;
feels her human nature, 195,
230; her imperfections, 195;
happy to be ridiculed, 57;
priority was God's will, 246;
singlemindedness, 107; willing
to cover up intentions only when
God's will for work so required,
247; wit, 26, 165, 282, 357, 359,
362, 363, 368, 440
Prayer: complaining to God results
in relief and new strength, 187,
195, 247; darkness, interior dry-
ness, 205; pleas are answered by
"I have already heard you," 231
Writing: 5-8, 13, 97, 250, 414;
has scruples about, 417; "I tell
you" incidents, 195, 224, 227;
makes mistakes, 440, 441; under
obedience, 250, 335; writes in
3rd person, 424, 428
Teresita (de Cepeda) 73, 78, 431,
442
Theologian(s) 178, 417, 425, 427;
had to follow his opinion, 226
Third Spiritual Alphabet 84, 413
Thomas A'Kempis 445
Time: waste of 96
Tiredness: result of false absorp-
tion 130
Titles in monasteries: not to be
used 329
Toledo 4, 8, 21, 38, 41, 42, 44, 47,
73, 81, 86, 89, 93, 144, 145, 165,
169, 172, 175, 179, 180, 185, 204,
253, 262, 280, 308, 415, 423-26,
432, 436-38, 441, 443
Toledo, Garcia de 86-90, 96, 414
Toledo, Luis de 167, 423
Index
481
Tolosa, Catalina de 289-92, 294,
296, 298, 303-6, 309, 442
Tomas de la Asencion 78
Tomasina Bautista 442
Tordillos 197
Torment 101
Torres, Ana de 367
Torres, Francisco de 258
Tostado, Jeronimo 67, 435
Tranquility 175, 194, 245, 278
Transfer: of Casilda de Padilla,
421; of Duruelo community, 423;
of nuns, 427; of obedience from
bishop to the order, 309; requests
for— to be ignored, 342; when
allowed, 346
Transfiguration (feast) 283
Travel 43, 48, 49, 50-52, 106, 107,
161, 186, 285, 413, 424
Treasure 95, 101
Treatise on Prayer and Meditation
445
Treaty of Augsburg 85
Trent (Tridentine) see Council
Trials 46; become sweet, 120; de-
scription, brief, enduring them,
long, 253; determination despite,
291; likened to hell or purgatory,
224; are measure of joy to follow,
279; part of each foundation, 110,
228, 235, 247; temporary but earn
lasting reward, 264
Triana 239
Trinity see God
Trinity Sunday 224, 228, 239
Trinitarians 60, 61, 437
Truthfulness 96; essential at visita-
tion, 344; understanding gained
in prayer, 150
Turkish Armada 88
Turks 224
Ubeda 420
Ulloa, Guiomar de 85
Union 122, 359, 382; is gift from
God, 360
Union of Utrecht 90
Universities, Spanish 357
Urban IV 24
Urdaneta 91
Vainglory: absent in hermit 260
Valdes, Fernando de 85
Valdivia 84
Valencia 104, 416
Valladolid 4, 6, 41, 43, 44, 74, 80,
87, 88, 90, 91, 93, 145, 146, 157,
160-62, 164, 204, 268, 270, 271,
278, 286, 289, 293, 299, 336, 415,
420, 421-23, 427, 430, 438, 441-
43, 445
Vanity 99; of parents, 148, 197
Vargas, Francisco 61, 63, 64, 67,
88, 431, 436
Vatican 22, see also Holy See, Rome
Vega, Angel Custodio 372
Vega, Juan de 439
Vega, Suero de 273, 439
Veils 27, 28, 144, 216, 227, 264,
283, 323, 325, 401
Vela, Blasco Nunez 441
Vela, Cristobal (archbishop of
Burgos) 286-92, 294-96, 298,
299, 302-5
Vela, Francisco Nunez 441
Velasco, Catalina 368
Velasco, Luisa Sigea de 442
Velazquez, Alonso 254, 280, 282-
84, 436, 443
Velazquez, Andres 55
Velazquez, Francisco 198-203, 308
Vera Cruz, La 437
Vergas, Ana de 366
Vicar general opposes foundation
206, 207
Victoria, Agustin de 271, 438
Victorines 291
Villagarcia 415
Villanueva de la Jara 4, 8, 40, 50,
81, 90, 93, 251, 253-55, 257, 264,
267, 268, 436
Villavicencio, Lorenzo de 436
Virtue(s) 13, 95, 99; to be preferred
to supernatural favors, 143
482
St. Teresa of Avila
Vision(s) 116, 126, 139; effect of
one, 200; good or evil not in, 140
Visitation see On Making the Visi-
tation
Visitator: to avoid compromise or
decrees 343, 344; to be impartial,
352; qualities needed, 337, 354 see
Pontifical authority
Visitors for nuns 323, 324
Vizcaya 289
Vocal Prayer: visitator is to inquire
about 347
Vocation: granted in response to
prayer and fasting 220; renuncia-
tion of wealth in order to follow,
148-50; of university students, 34
Vows 397
Wall on property 329
Want of food 99
Water: on property 100, 166; well,
415
Way of Perfection 3, 26, 28, 32, 79,
87, 312, 314
Wealth: of those received 149, 150,
246, 378
Will: is captive in rapture not in
absorption, 125; obedience directs
best, 121 ; of God must take prece-
dence, 118; one's own and God's,
95; renouncing the, 387; submis-
sion of— leads to freedom, 122;
thinking does not direct, 117
Women 101, 117, 244, 349; God's
instrument for change, 182
Work 321, 413; commendation to be
given, 340; no common workroom,
321; distaffs to be used at recrea-
tion, 327; no time requirement
on, 327; working went counter to
culture, 40
Works (activities): accompanied by
recourse to God, 123; benefit from
good— may surpass long time in
prayer, 123
World 99, 121; and Teresa, 35-42
Worry 99
Wound of love in soul 379, 381
Wretchedness 123, 378
Writing see TERESA
Xaquixaguana 85
Yanguas, Diego de 90
Yearning for death 375, 376
Young man more helpful than
wealthy benefactors 171
Zamora 267
Zaragosa 358, 445
Zeal 387; see also Obedience
Zuniga, Alonso 427
Zurich 83
Zwingli 83, 84
Biblical Index
Old Testament
1 Samuel
15:22
2 Samuel
6:14-15
1 Kings
17:2-4
18:38
19:9-13
2 Kings
2:9
Psalms
34:9
85:9
133
249
16
121
257
387
118
359
Song of songs
6:3 379
Jonah
1:2 202
1:4-15 252
New Testament
Matthew
15:21-28
360
61
15:27
141
16:19
133
25:40
117
26:31-35,
123
67-75
Mark
7:24-30
360
61
Luke
10:16
121
John
4:7-42;
360
61
20:11-18
9:2
210
9:6-7
276
15:12, 17
446
Acts of the Apostles
20:34
321
1 Corinthians
11:3-6
27
Ephesians
6:12 13
Philippians
2:8 117
483
Live Music
Archive
Librivox
Free Audio
Metropolitan Museum
Cleveland
Museum of Art
Internet
Arcade
Console Living Room
Open Library
American
Libraries
TV News
Understanding
9/11